but it didnt feel right

4

Oh my gosh, this took long xD Slow computer and slow internet don’t work well that answering through my inbox s u c k s

More pages in Keep Reading:

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Luke: [text] hi who is this?
Vader: who is THIS????
Luke: are you a friend of ben’s?
Vader: ben?? ben who??? 
Luke: ben kenobi? I just found this phone in his house. 
Vader: ben kenobi
Vader: r u fuckin kidding me
Vader: thats what he called himself???? jfc 
Vader: yes i was his friend why are you contacting me???
Luke: there were 1,201 unread texts from your number on this phone, so i thought i would just let you know that i’m really sorry, but ben is dead
Vader: oh yeah so he claims 
Vader: theres no name stored with my # on there?
Luke: uh yeah there is but it wasnt helpful in identifying you and i didnt feel right about reading all your messages…the couple that i saw seemed pretty personal
Vader: what is the name he used for me? just curious
Luke: um “headache” lol. sorry. 
Vader: ugh 🙄 whatever the only thing he loved more than me was complaining about me
Luke: ben was my friend, too. i didn’t know he had any other friends! i mean my dad was his best friend, but he’s been dead since before I was born. 
Vader: wait what
Luke: i have to get going, my r2 unit’s kind of got a mind of his own and he’s gonna leave tatooine without me if i don’t hurry
Vader: WHAT
Luke: later mister! i hope we can talk more soon!

trophy balls

context: its my second time DMing, and my players have crippled and blinded a cyclops, and are ready to finish him off when…

Barbarian: now that he’s down, i want to cut his balls off with my greataxe.

Me (DM): w… why?

Barbarian: i need a trophy for this kill.

Me: urg… roll for it.

*rolls nat 20*

Me: oh son of a… you cut his balls off and stuff them in your inventory.

Cleric: i want to heal him so gods creature can go free and not want to attack us.

*heals cyclops halfway and rolls a 17 charisma check*

Me: okay… you allow the cyclops to limp away, even though you destroyed his achilles tendon and cut his balls off.

Barbarian: oh, ill actually give him back his left nut. it doesnt feel right if i didnt get to kill him.

Uhm yeah had to take a break. I dont feel well right now…Watching 13 reasons why didnt help…to soothe my soul I sketched some young McHanzo. Its a bit better now. I love Jesse with a messy bun. No one can take this from me. Oh and THANK YOU SO MUCH for much more then 200 followers by now!!! I appreciate it a lot. If you have any questions or just want to talk with me send me a message or an ask. I would really love to talk to you guys :3

anonymous asked:

(1/3) ALLY!! Okay, i wanna write down a list of things that i really like about you just cuz. 1) your hair, it's such a soft brown and your highlights bring compliment it so well, 2) your eyes, they're the prettiest shape and they're so warm, 3) your smile, which is brighter than my ideal future, 4) your height, which is so petite and melts my heart, 5) your accent, which reminds me of home, 6) the way you draw eyes, which is just so unique to me, 7) the red tones of your art ofc

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8

favourite shadowhunters episodes (1/?)

1x12: malec

A thousand electric cars could run on how you feel when you know that the person you like likes you back. It feels incredible. Like it shouldn’t be possible. Of all the happy coincidences to ever exist, it’s one of the happiest.
—  Emma Mills, First & Then
Rika’s back and MC gets left P. 5

Rika is back and MC gets sick at the same time she feels abandoned. Part 1 (x) | Part 2 (x) | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 (x) | Part 5 (x)

Some say that people experience 3 different loves throughout their lifetime

The first: the young, idealistic kind of love that looks right but may not feel right

The second: the hard love; where lessons are learned and the kind of unbalanced love where making it work is more important that if is actually should work

The love we wished was right

And finally

The third: the wrecking ball; the one we never see coming and teaches us why the rest didnt work out

Looks wrong; but feels right and lasts

Not always will each be experienced in close age gaps following another; some never experience all three

Others are fortuante and only experience one or two

and others believe they have experienced all three in another life

But sometimes love is only a concept and not real for some people in the sense that love only has to be sexual or romantic  and not familial

Whatever the case you need to acknowledge the different loves

Because love is more than just romantic or classified;

Not always will they be romantic or have enough power in them to stir a storm in you, but there is always a level of light within each love

Sometimes, it can be hard to realize, accept, and even move on from; but sometimes it’s best to move on from them, even if they are your family

---

  • You don’t think you can move
  • The sounds of blades ripping through the air make your ears hurt and pop
  • Someone is caressing your head
  • and someone else is gripping your hand
  • You don’t know where you are or why
  • But you don’t feel like you should be there
  • The voices are distant and unlike anything you can understand
  • Sometime later the loud blades stop and you’re being lowered by a few people and wheeled away
  • You hear people arguing and yelling and you still can’t open your eyes
  • Why can’t I see?
  • You can’t move either
  • You feel needles entering you
  • Machines all around
  • And feel nice, clean oxygen enter your nose through tubes
  • Am I in trouble?
  • You still cant hear well
  • But you can feel
  • You feel someone squeeze your hand and someone kiss your cheek
  • You don’t know where they went but after a few minutes they all left

— Jahee —

  • She can’t believe it
  • She doesn’t
  • Not at first, not until V explains
  • He explains that Rika had always been sick
  • that she needed to save everyone and help in anyway she could to feel needed and loved
  • V explained how she could only help them by hurting them and by making MC the middle person
  • But he didn’t think she would hurt MC
  • Not in a way that would kill her way at least
  • By the request of Mr. Han
  • Jahee had both lawyers and psychologist at the standby ready
  • But her main concern was MC
  • She thought MC was gone, that she left without goodbye and was hurt
  • But no; she was wrong
  • MC was the victim
  • What will become of her, she didn’t know
  • She wondered if anyone felt like she did bc no one seemed to think that Rika and V needed to be held accountable
  • It was a game of pointing fingers and “If MC dies what then?”
  • She needed something more awakening and filling than coffee atm
  • She needed MC to be okay

— Yoosung —-

  • He was livid
  • How could V blame everything on Rika? She would never do this!
  • After he saw the messages he threw his phone
  • He went to Zen to be caught up and both went with Jahee to the hospital where Jumin and Seven were waiting for MC
  • He needed to see Rika though
  • Neither Jahee nor Zen complied
  • He asked Jumin to take him to see Rika but Jumin just looked at him with an unreadable expression and if he asked Seven, Seven wouldnt have answered since he’d have been busy on his laptop
  • He almost gave up but then saw Rika in a separate room with V
  • He couldn’t stand V
  • V did this; by allowing this to continue he hurt MC and RIka
  • He would never ever forgive him

—- Zen —-

  • The surgery was long and tiring
  • He canceled everything and stayed in the waiting room Jumin had set up for them rich kid problems
  • He really had a need just to smoke all his stress away but didnt want to knowing that MC wasnt a fan of the smell and he didnt want her to say that when she woke up from the surgery
  • He had it all planned out
  • “Forget Rika and the rest, let’s go and travel without responsibilities MC”
  • And he hoped she’d agree and maybe even offer to take them all to visit her home and family and
  • he was excited that the pet she had was a dog and not a cat bc poor bby cant sneeze and have fun at the same time
  • But he knew he just needed to ask for trust fund over there for some help and once MC was out of here hed propose the idea to her and the other members
  • BUt first he’d need to know how they found her and everything because V was vague and it irritated him how they kept secrets
  • He thought they were all family; is this how a family should be?
  • He really just needed a smoke

—- Seven —-

  • It’s an endless nightmare for him
  • Hacking into the system worked up until he couldn’t continue to watch her stats drop
  • He didnt want to imagine what damage would befall onto MC
  • AFter flatlining a few times, he was sure that the doctors would call her time of death but they kept at it
  • Until finally MC stabilized
  • When the doctors told the rest the news he didnt think he could breathe until he saw for himself that MC was okay and not taken away again by an occult-following quack of a doctor
  • So he kept an eye on her through the video
  • He read on the reports the doctors and nurses were inputting into the system but all he could think about was who Unknown was
  • V would know, but he didnt trust himself to go to V to get answers
  • Not at the moment anyways
  • They must have been good to have helped MC
  • And isn’t there some saying that if a dog likes a person, it’s because they are good?

-

  • You can hear and feel and think
  • But you can’t see
  • Am i even moving?
  • You being to wonder where you have come to that you don’t understand anything anyone is saying
  • You panic because you feel people touch you,
  • but you can’t see anyone or anything and it scares you because they cant hear you to know to stop
  • You try to hear out for your mom or dad
  • You feel hands on your face and you panic because you dont want anyone touching you there; you cant stand anyone touching you anywhere
  • You feel something cold run up your arm and then you fall back to calmness…

—- Jumin —-

  • He couldnt look at her let alone hug her
  • He wanted to know that she would forgive him
  • BUt at the moment he really wanted to know that she would overcome this and wake up and smile
  • Just to see her smile would make everything else fall into a prefecture of being able to breath easy
  • The doctors said that she would have to continue on the medication and get on a clinical trial that can possibly help her we all know Jumin pushed for her to be in one
  • But Jumin didnt think everything would ever be the same
  • They wrapped her face becasue of the medication that Rika gave her, that caused some deformities in her eyes
  • They got to her in time to save her eyes, but she won’t be able to see for a few days until she fully recovered
  • They said she would be groggy when waking up and even confused, which should go away in time
  • They gave her a sedative to relax her so she wouldnt further injure herself 
  • But it made him confused that she didnt understand them at all or know who was talking
  • Or how she was feeling all over herself, which caused her to think someone else was touching her and which caused her to panic even more
  • He knew he should go and see Rika and V but he couldn’t atm, not while MC was like this
  • Jahee left to get coffee and to make sure the lawyers were ready for whatever was to come:
  • Either RIka and V are held accountable or not, or if MC decides to leave everyone and order a restraining order- whatever she wanted, he was sure to deliver

— Rika —

  • “It was all for the sake of everyone”
  • she chanted over and over, not knowing that she was mumbling to herself as V and her cousin stood by watching her from the doorway 
  • Some time had passed, not knowing what day it was, or what happened after the girl… the one with the sin… after that sinful girl was taken it all went blank for Rika 
  • She tried to remember but she couldn’t push past the hazy clouds of incoherent memories she didn’t trust anymore 
  • There was one doctor she liked that she saw 
  • He was a man of his word and talked to her about religion and even let her explain how that sinful girl made her way into hurting everyone 
  • and how it was only possible becuase she and how it was only possible becuase she let it happen
  • If it had not been for Rika, no one would have met MC
  • No one would have been saved! 
  • No one would have been liberated from the tribulations and trials and suffering that came with life had it not been for Rika allowing MC into the RFA
  • And the doctor understood that. 
  • Rika didnt ask for updates on the sinful girl bc she wanted to know that it was all worth it in the end to save everyone 
  • “She woke up and scared everyone when she didnt understand them” V talked to Rika as she continued to mumble her chant 
  • Thankfully Jumin is fluent in English and was able to talk to MC for the few moments she didn’t remember Hangul” 
  • Rika slightly upset that she failed 
  • Hearing the angels mock her as she sat there listening to V talk about that sinful girl made her angry 
  • She didnt want to be mocked by the angels anymore 

— V —

  • He felt guilty in ways that he knew were sick and twisted 
  • He shouldnt have defended Rika or he should have gone to seek help for her
  • He let Rika’s condition continue and grow until she no longer was the same Rika he first met at the gallery all those years ago 
  • He was too scared to meet everyone face to face after all that had happened; he didn’t want to see anyone out of fear and shame 
  • MC woke up confused and only understandable through English
  • The only thing that kept V sane was the small conversations Jumin would have with him
  • granted they were mainly one-sided, he felt warm and almost forgiven when Jumin talked to him 
  • He didn’t know if he would ever recieve forgiveness from MC
  • at this point, he wasnt sure he even deserved it 
  • But to know that MC would turn out fine despite all he had done and let Rika do would give him comfort for the rest of his days 

-

  • Jumin calmly explained how you were not in America anymore and that you were in South Korea 
  • He helped you remember things you already knew but you didn’t want them to know you knew 
  • You figured it would make things easier if you let them think you forgot the majority of everything 
  • From them abandoning you to the drugs and to the now; you wanted them all to think you forgot the major events 
  • You did, however, let them know that you did not forget Paco poor bby was sad until he saw you 
  • You found it hard to lie to them for the first day and then went to slowly ‘remembering’ Hangul
  • It was not hard to pretend to be weary around them bc they did abandon you and thought you left them without having known you better 
  • You wanted to forgive them for having left you and forgotten about you 
  • but you couldnt find it in you to forgive them 
  • Try as they might, you could not go back to before Rika resurfaced
  • Zen offered a trip to the States to visit your family, and Jumin ofc said he would pay for the trip for everyone 
  • Jahee provided a lot of amazing coffee for you to indulge in such the coffee whore you ever are
  • Yoosung would stop by and cry for a few seconds each visit and then leave the room in an uncomfortable manner 
  • and then there was Seven 
  • You dont know why but you couldn’t find it in you to ever stay mad at him
  • You did want to ask him about Saeran, bc you weren’t sure if you should expose Unknown’s identity to a hacker who works for bosses that dont seem to be the best runner-ups for ‘Boss-of-the-year-award’ 

Would he get in trouble? What if by exposing his name, I’d get him in trouble? I don’t want Saeran to be involved. He shouldn’t have to hide either. Where did he go? Would Seven keep this a secret if I asked him to? 

— Unknown —

  • He watched MC convey confusion and watched how she reacted towards everyone 
  • How she was at ease with Saeyoung and Jumin the most out of all the RFA 
  • How she smiled when the secretary would give her coffee and when the red-eyed boy would smile back at her after he would helplessly flirt 
  • Or how she would tense up when the young blonde boy walked in sad and left sad, but how she would fondly smile at the boy when he was not apologizing
  • Saeran felt like he was part to blame for what happened to her 
  • Maybe one day he will come back and see how things would work out if he could find out more about Saeyoung 
  • He felt like he was making all the right choices and for all the right reasons, that is until MC and Paco became his mission, making him loose the game and goal he set out to win 
  • His primary concern was how to come back to face Saeyoung without malicious intent 
  • until then, he figured he would go to America and see how things were for a few weeks how convenient that it would be during their trip to visiting MC’s home town 

--

  • You didnt know if Yoosung would ever look at you the same
  • it bothered you slightly how the one person who you thought would have stayed by your side would leave you a lot more than the rest 
  • But you knew 
  • you knew how this must have all been confusing for him to have discovered what mental issues his cousin was dealing with 
  • You just wished that he didn’t blame V for everything 
  • bc it wasnt V, it was all Rika 
  • You know you should forgive and forget but you couldnt 
  • It didnt feel right to lie to Seven and Jumin 
  • but you got the sense that they knew you knew 
  • Somehow it a silent agreement between the 3 of you to pretend that you dindt remember most of the past few weeks 
  • You were scared of leaving teh hospital because you didnt want to be alone anymore 
  • but you were scared of the hospital from the beginning since most of everything started with the hospital 
  • Jumin offered you the best lawyers and doctors and space as an apology 
  • while Seven kept you company and when he thought you slept, you could hear him profusely apologize 
  • You agreed to Zen’s idea of a vacation only after V admitted Rika into the psychiatric ward 
  • Yoosung wouldnt talk to you for days or to anyone, but you felt like maybe he needed to take time to re-evaluate his thoughts 
  • You enjoyed it when Jahee would bring in a good cup of coffee and talk to you like you used to before 
  • No one mentioned the illness you had or the Rika events 
  • It made you happy to not think about the stress or heartbreaking moments 
  • but it made you sad too because it was your life 
  • and no one was acknowledging it at all 
  • You did, however, receive only one letter from Unknown who asked you to keep his real name a secret until the next time you would meet 
  • He reminded you that you could still talk to Paco about the part of your life everyone was okay with omitting 
  • And you understood why they wanted to omit that bit of your life, but omitting it doesn't completely mask the fact that it happened 
  • Maybe this will all catch up and resurface some day to where everyone would come to terms with it all 
  • and maybe then Rika would be back to how everyone said she was but you found it hard to believe and less thrilling to picture
  • But until then you figured out to slowly let them into your heart instead of you into theirs, things could be different 
  • Maybe you would learn to forgive them and learn to trust them as they did to you before Rika 
  • But you figured it would take time 
  • A person can only hold out so much before they crumble after having pieces of them chipped and filled away to make space for other people to fit with them
  • Maybe if you had stayed home instead of venturing for adventure, you wouldnt have become terrified of the dark, needles, and strangers so much 
  • Maybe if you didn’t answer those messages you wouldnt have become so traumitized by a group of people you considered family 
  • But maybe if Rika didn’t go crazy on you, you wouldn’t have formed such bonds with people 
  • And you know that there was still a lot of more to discover of each member of the RFA before you could ever think of leaving your family 
  • For the moment you would settle with: Rika staying far away from you,
  • everyone hovering including the ever so distant smoll angry Yoosung,
  • the constant suppression of events you wanted to make everyone feel guilty about but couldnt bc they did that on their own, 
  • and the knowledge that this dysfunctional group of misfits would be your final, unforeseen, and third love.