but it blew me away!

My post about being a fic writer has over 1,500 notes and, of course, I feel like shit about my own fic right now

I saw a graph somewhere that showed progress in any kind of art as a stair-step thing, where your ability to see the faults in your work jumps up before your skill does. 

I really hope that graph is right, because there’s been several things I’ve written lately (none of them posted) where I reread them and then thought it was crap and didn’t know how to fix it. 

Plus I’ve read some amazing fic lately that blew me away–just really hot and gorgeous and really good emotional stuff around relationships and sex–and even though I fucking loved those fics and I left love-notes on them and I’ve already reread a few of them, it just….ugggh it makes me so aware of how shitty my own writing can be. 

At the same time that there’s not anything necessarily wrong with basically writing my own wank fantasies over and over, I feel like (surprise!) my writing is getting repetitive and dull. 

UGGH. I know I should read things the things I love with an eye towards writing–why do I like this fic/scene so much?? What words/phrases/etc work for me and what doesn’t?? Etc. 

But there’s that annoying toddler in my brain that insists that this is a hobby I do for fun and it shouldn’t be work, because then it’s not fun anymore; and that makes me worry that if I actually have to work at getting better at it, I’ll just give up and stop, just like I’ve done with so many other things. 

It doesn’t help that I’ve got that issue lots of people who tested as “gifted” as kids do (especially with ADHD): ”If I’m not immediately amazing at this, I don’t want to do it.” My first few fics weren’t awful; I’m relatively good at grammar/punctuation and I’ve been reading fic for twenty years and knew what kinds of things annoyed the shit out of me. (Epithets. Just use their names, for fuck’s sake.) Plus I’ve been friends with fic writers for a while now and seen the bits of writing advice they reblog, that kind of thing. 

But, and I knew this was going to happen at some point, I’ve sort of bumped up against the limits of where all that previously-absorbed stuff can get me, and now I have to actually work at it and allow myself to be frustrated and then take a step back and try again. And I worry I’ll just give up, instead. (In general, I have this nagging worry that my ability to write fiction will up and disappear on me, because I spent the last two decades convinced I didn’t have a mind for writing fiction, and maybe this little spell of writing is a temporary thing? I really, really hope not.)

Also, and I really do not want to minimize this: there is just not enough Amedot fic out there, especially explicit-rated. I know damn well that a rather large portion of my hits on anything new I post are from people who refresh the tag on ao3 every day and at least attempt to read everything, because I do that to some extent myself. There’s no way I’d have the audience I do if I was writing for a pairing with more fic. It’s a blessing, honestly, for a new writer, to have a nearly-guaranteed audience; watching my hit count and kudos go up after I post something is incredibly gratifying and encouraging. I don’t know if I would have kept going without that.

8

Who is it that Bbong Ssuni is saving?
A prince that lives alone in a castle.

projection

*requested –> Anonymous said: I really love your work! 💖 Do you have any NCT recs? And could you please do some Taeyong angst? Thank you!

Originally posted by kunq

author’s note: 5,378 words. In my thinking process of what to base this angst on, one of my housemates showed me a new anime last weekend and wow. W O W. It’s a game-changer and Inspiration then hit me like a freaking firetruck. lmao look at me i think i’m funny 

*suggestive themes, explicit content, possible emotional discomfort, read at your own discretion* 

Keep reading

Can we talk about Finn for a minute? I keep reading that Finn gets described as “flat” or “boring” by some in the Star Wars fandom. Obviously everyone’s entitled to their opinion. But I’ll tell you, from my perspective? He’s one of the most unique, charismatic Star Wars characters out there. 

1. Finn humanized stormtroopers. Made us experience panic and terror at the terrible choices they have to make. Stormtroopers, who were practically a joke in the other movies - white plastic statutes that existed just to get shot and clatter into a pile.

2. Finn’s flight with Poe Dameron is an explosion of emotion. That scene blew me away. Both of them had so much fun with it, and you can see Finn feel the real impact of having a name, rather than being a number. 

3. Finn is profoundly empathetic and protective. Hell, I swear he cares about BB8 when he has to describe the plane crash, and Poe’s “death”, to the droid. 

4. Finn shows tremendous range in this movie. Traumatized (stormtrooper battle), jocular (”you got a boyfriend?”), joyous (”that’s one hell of a pilot”), wistful (”Take care of yourself. Please.”), angry (ligthsaber battle), I could go on. I like Luke Skywalker as much as the next fan, but I think Finn shows more range in this one film than Luke did in all three. 

5. Finn’s story arc is powerful, subversive, and inspiring. Going from a number to a name. Finding a family after being taken from his home as a child. Turning his back on the First Order and then realizing he needs to go further, and embrace the cause of the Resistance.

6. Finn’s relationship with Rey. I’m gonna get choked up about this, so I’ll just say John Boyega is an amazing actor, and I loved every scene he had with Daisy Ridley. 

Anyway that’s my fangirling contribution. To me, Finn’s amazing. 

Gif courtesy of @kit-harington

Traditionally, America uses the musical guest performances on Saturday Night Live as an opportunity to take a bathroom break. Occasionally, an artist is so unexpectedly engaging they cause the nation to cross it’s collective legs. This happened in 2008 when Adele appeared on the feverishly anticipated Sarah Palin episode and saw her 19 album rocket from the low hundreds to the top 20. Sometimes, a musician performs so horrifically that their career expires on the spot. That was the sad fate of Ashlee Simpson who dissolved into a puddle of embarrassment when her pre-recorded voice track malfunctioned back in 2004. And then there are the times when the show goes all out to make a star. At this early stage in his I’m-a-big-boy-now solo career, no one knows for certain whether Harry Styles has Justin Timberlake-style mass appeal in his destiny. But SNL absolutely treated him like it’s a foregone conclusion.

In the same way the show always rolls out the red carpet for frequent host and musical guest Timberlake, Harry Styles was all over this episode. He popped up in the opening moments of host Jimmy Fallon’s painstakingly choreographed singalong to David Bowie’s Let’s Dance. He displayed decent comedy chops impersonating Mick Jagger in a Family Feud skit – where  he made a meta-reference to the madness of walking away from a successful band One Direction to go solo – and threw himself into the role of a singing Civil War soldier in a subsequent sketch.

Halfway into the show, he stopped being funny and dealt directly with the lingering question of whether he could stand on a stage without conjuring up sad memories of his missing bandmates. A matter of seconds into his performance of Sign of the Times, all doubts were erased. He looked dapper in a bold plaid double-breasted suit. He oozed charisma and whether you think the song is an instant classic or a decent tune that’s been dragged kicking and screaming into passing for an anthem, he and his back-up musicians tore into it like it was his Greatest Hit. Actual Americans reacted to the performance with enthusiasm. “Finally, a British rock star,” gushed Lori Majewski, host of Sirius XM’s daily music talk show, Feedback. “He blew me away. His hair. His suit. The song. He’s the anti-Ed Sheeran.” Cherry Chevapravatdumrong, co-executive producer of Family Guy and a ride-or-die One Direction superfan had previously pronounced herself `meh’ on the song. Last night changed that meh to a wow. “He sounded amazing. He opened with the same kind of power he used to close Drag Me Down with and then built from here. He left it all out on the field and he still has another one to go!”

The second song, Tell Me Something proudly displayed its Seventies folk-rock roots, and saw Styles strumming a 12-string guitar and displaying a gift for harmonizing with his bandmates that wasn’t always evident in the 1D era. “It’s pretty and calm, but also a smidgen not calm,” noted Chevapravatdumrong. “I want to listen to it while walking through a field that is mostly grass but also some flowers.”

Lori Majewski has no doubts that Harry Styles, solo artist, is standing on the precipice of massive stardom. “He brought out the cougar in me and he’s going to do the same to every woman in America.” Maybe she’s right. Or maybe Styles’ appeal will remain limited to grown-up One Direction fans.  The only conclusion that can safely be drawn at this juncture is that Harry Styles SNL performance put him much closer to the Adele category than the Ashlee Simpson one.

vimeo

A girl who loves ice skating is cursed to break the ice she skates on, yet she continues doing what she loves and inspires others to do the same. 

My first year film is finally done! This has been a huge learning experience and I can’t wait to make cooler things next year. ✌

AGUST D

there are so many important messages that suga is trying to convey to his listeners through his mixtape and im sure that if you’ve read the lyric translations, you definitely know what i mean. i am seriously blown away that we’ve been fans of bts for what, 3 years now? for 3 years, ARMYs have easily labelled yoongi as ‘lazy’, given him that ‘idagf’ image, and yet, we were oblivious to so many of his hardships. we’ve always known that he’s hardworking, more quiet than the other members, and more reflective, but this mixtape honestly blew me away because yoongi’s gone through so much in his idol career and we had no idea. 

first off, he touches on a sensitive topic that idols don’t speak openly about: mental health. he raps about seeing a psychiatrist, battling with depression, self-hate, experiencing social phobia since age 18, putting on a front, and loneliness. His entire song “The Last” really touches on this:

a word said like habit, oh, I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck
those words are all words I use to hide my weak self
that time I want to erase, that’s right, the memories I want to erase of that day I had that concert
I was afraid of people, so I hid in the bathroom and stared at myself

and in “So Far Away”:

I’m in so much pain and lonliness but people around me keeping telling me to regain my consciousness
I try to vent my anger but I only got myself so what’s the point of venting my anger
I’m scared to open my eyes everyday and start breathing

these lyrics from ‘At Dawn’ also illustrate this:

I pretend I’m not lonely, I pretend I’m not suffering
I pretend I’m okay for no reason, meaninglessly I pretend to be strong
don’t come over the wall I’ve put up in front of myself
don’t throw me off this island in this wide sea 

he also talks about his struggles during his trainee days and i dont think he’s ever talked in depth about this period of his life. this mixtape gives us some insight about him moving to seoul, getting a part time job to afford the cost of living in the city, going to school dead tired after work, and still training with big hit to live out his dreams

was I needy for success? No just needy for money
it’d been a long time since I forgot the words ‘in style’
I practiced at night and went to my part time job at dawn
then even if I dragged that tired body to school I just slept
I became 20 that way, the sight of the graduation room was suspicious

and the fact that he admits he puts up a front:

I hide the self that’s behind my defensive posture
I hide myself completely like I’ve become a criminal, always
I can’t even take one step outside the dorm that’s like a prison 

all of these are reasons im so moved. because it really highlights how idols only show one side of themselves to the camera, and fans can never really know them fully. we only know the version of bts’ min yoongi that he wants to show us through shows and broadcasts. 

behind every idol rapper who succeeds
there’s a weak self standing, it’s a little dangerous
I fall sometimes again into depression and compulsion
hell no, anyway I don’t even know if that’s the real me

but through his music? through his mixtape, he’s trying to show us another side of him, and i’m so thankful that he’s opened up to his worldwide audience. this takes courage. talking openly about your hardships and your weaknesses to people who look up to you, that takes some damn courage. so thank you, yoongi, for opening up to your fans. 

2

When people ask why I love Curtis McKenzie, I always say how nice he is but today blew me away. Last week I gave him his birthday present (2 hats, chocolate and a letter) and I was very happy to give it to him. Today he came out wearing one of the hats I gave him and that had me freaking out so much. Then he came to me and he thanked me very personally for the nice words of the letter and said it was one of the nicest things someone has done for him. Then, he handed me this stick. We had a great conversation. I didn’t realize it was signed until someone asked what it said because I was so caught up in the hat and him thanking me. I just wanted to share how absolutely incredible Curtis is. I’ve never felt more appreciated as a fan as I have today. Thank you Curtis McKenzie

telegraph.co.uk
Harry Styles' successful Saturday Night Live solo appearance a Sign of the Times to come
Traditionally, America uses the musical guest performances on Saturday Night Live as an opportunity to take a bathroom break.

“In the same way the show always rolls out the red carpet for frequent host and musical guest Timberlake, Harry Styles was all over this episode. He popped up in the opening moments of host Jimmy Fallon’s painstakingly choreographed singalong to David Bowie’s Let’s Dance. He displayed decent comedy chops impersonating Mick Jagger in a Family Feud skit – where  he made a meta-reference to the madness of walking away from a successful band One Direction to go solo – and threw himself into the role of a singing Civil War soldier in a subsequent sketch. 

Halfway into the show, he stopped being funny and dealt directly with the lingering question of whether he could stand on a stage without conjuring up sad memories of his missing bandmates. A matter of seconds into his performance of Sign of the Times, all doubts were erased. He looked dapper in a bold plaid double-breasted suit. He oozed charisma and whether you think the song is an instant classic or a decent tune that’s been dragged kicking and screaming into passing for an anthem, he and his back-up musicians tore into it like it was his Greatest Hit. Actual Americans reacted to the performance with enthusiasm. ‘Finally, a British rock star,’ gushed Lori Majewski, host of Sirius XM’s daily music talk show, Feedback. ‘He blew me away. His hair. His suit. The song. He’s the anti-Ed Sheeran.’ Cherry Chevapravatdumrong, co-executive producer of Family Guy and a ride-or-die One Direction superfan had previously pronounced herself `meh’ on the song. Last night changed that meh to a wow. ‘He sounded amazing. He opened with the same kind of power he used to close Drag Me Down with and then built from here. He left it all out on the field and he still has another one to go!’ 

The second song, Tell Me Something proudly displayed its Seventies folk-rock roots, and saw Styles strumming a 12-string guitar and displaying a gift for harmonizing with his bandmates that wasn’t always evident in the 1D era. ‘It’s pretty and calm, but also a smidgen not calm,’ noted Chevapravatdumrong. ‘I want to listen to it while walking through a field that is mostly grass but also some flowers.’

Lori Majewski has no doubts that Harry Styles, solo artist, is standing on the precipice of massive stardom. ‘He brought out the cougar in me and he’s going to do the same to every woman in America.’ Maybe she’s right. Or maybe Styles’ appeal will remain limited to grown-up One Direction fans.  The only conclusion that can safely be drawn at this juncture is that Harry Styles SNL performance put him much closer to the Adele category than the Ashlee Simpson one.”

instagram

· la douleur exquise ·

The Most Gryffindor-y Gryffindors That Ever Were

Rereading this scene from CS and it kind of blew me away.

Next moment, [Harry] was standing alone, gazing at a solid wall of broken rock.

“Ron!” he shouted. “Are you okay? Ron!”

“I’m here!“ came Ron’s muffled voice from behind the rockfall. "I’m okay — this git’s not, though — he got blasted by the wand —”

There was a dull thud and a loud “ow!” It sounded as though Ron had just kicked Lockhart in the shins.

“What now?” Ron’s voice said, sounding desperate. “We can’t get through — it’ll take ages…”

Harry looked up at the tunnel ceiling. Huge cracks had appeared in it. He had never tried to break apart anything as large as these rocks by magic, and now didn’t seem a good moment to try — what if the whole tunnel caved in?

There was another thud and another “ow!” from behind the rocks. They were wasting time. Ginny had already been in the Chamber of Secrets for hours…Harry knew there was only one thing to do.

“Wait there,” he called to Ron. “Wait with Lockhart. I’ll go on… If I’m not back in an hour…”

There was a very pregnant pause.

“I’ll try and shift some of this rock,” said Ron, who seemed to be trying to keep his voice steady. “So you can — can get back through. And, Harry —”

“See you in a bit,” said Harry, trying to inject some confidence into his shaking voice.

And he set off alone past the giant snake skin.


That’s pretty heavy for a pair of 12-year-olds.

Both of them know that Ginny is probably dead. 

Earlier in the scene, Ron had asked Harry if he thought there was “any chance at all she’s not — you know—,” and Harry privately couldn’t see how she could be alive.

Obviously, Harry is being extraordinarily brave. He knows what needs to be done, and he knows that he’s the only one who can do it. He can’t not try, not when there’s the “faintest wildest chance” that Ginny is still alive. And while it’s not the last time Harry will have to go it alone or confront the reality that he might not come back, I think it’s the closest he comes to actually having the “if I don’t come back” conversation.

But Ron deserves credit too.

There’s no question in my mind that Ron wanted to be on the other side of that barrier with his best friend. He was the one who suggested they stop moping in the common room and go to Lockhart’s office to tell him what they know.

For a Gryffindor like Ron, fighting the basilisk is infinitely preferable to playing the waiting game.  If Harry and Ginny had died, imagine how Ron would have felt. He would have spent the rest of his life grieving for them and feeling guilty that he didn’t go along with them. *If I had gone with them, maybe Harry and I could have fought off the basilisk. Maybe we would have been able to save Ginny.* In some ways, I think he would prefer to die along with them then be the only man left standing.

So he could have said, “No, let’s try to move some of this rock so I can come too!”  He could have refused to let Harry go alone or argued for his right to come because Ginny was his sister.

But Ron knows as well as Harry that the clock is ticking. Delaying might give Ron peace of mind and allow him to be part of the action, but every minute they spend trying to free Ron lowers Ginny’s chances. It would be selfish of Ron to try to come with Harry.

He knows they don’t have time to find a way through the rocks right then, he doesn’t have a working wand, and they’ve got Lockhart to worry about. He knows that if Harry/Ginny make it back, they’re going to need to get through to the other side.

So he stays behind. Ron’s going to spend an indeterminate amount of time heaving rocks out of the way, babysitting a lunatic professor, and praying that his sister and his best friend aren’t dead. It’s not exciting, cool, or heroic as Harry’s actions. But in some ways, it’s just as brave.

TL;DR: Ron/Harry are so fucking amazing, and the most Gryffindor Gryffindors there ever were.

3

One Piece ワンピース [Water 07 Saga / Enies Lobby Arc] : Cipher Pol Number 09 (CP9) vs The Straw Hat Pirates

Nico Robin : “First with Aokiji..and now, I’ve involved you twice! If this is to continue forever, no matter how kind and compassionate you all are…someday, it will be too much of a burden. Someday, you’ll betray me and cast me aside! That’s my greatest fear.. That’s why I didn’t want you to come rescue me! If I’m going to die someday anyway..I want to die here! 
Chief Spandam : “I see, that makes perfect sense! Hahaha! Look at that symbol Straw Hats! It represents the unity of more than 170 nations…it represents the World! Do you realize how frivolous your resistance is?! Do you understand the sheer power of the organization that is after this one woman?!
Captain “Straw Hat” Luffy : “I totally get who Robin’s enemy is. Sogeking. Shoot down that flag.
“Sogeking” Usopp : “Roger. Hissatsu Firebird Star!”
Chief Spandam : Are you crazy?! Do you really think you can survive now that the entire world is your enemy??
Captain “Straw Hat” Luffy : “Bring it on!! Robin! I still haven’t heard it from your lips! Say that you want to live!!”
Nico Robin : *Live? I didn’t think I could wish for that. No one..ever allowed me to wish it. If it’s really okay..to make one little wish..I..*  “I WANT TO LIVE!!”
Captain “Straw Hat” Luffy : *heh* “Let’s go!”

A.U. where CP9 are secret paramilitary police like the Nazi SS & the Straw Hats are a (gang) crew in high school. My 2nd all-time favorite moment in One Piece! The Water 07 Saga was a superbly written storyline in OP. The twist of the Cipher Pol Number 09 members, the story of Cutty Flam & Shipwright Tom, and the clashes between the two groups blew me away. The Enies Lobby arc also revealed the Straw Hats in their peak conditions, very similar to the “Sasuke Recovery Mission Arc” from Naruto, these are my favorite kinds of arcs when you get to see many key characters fight to their full potential. Nico Robin was such a beautifully written character and her backstory was precious. I’m kind of sad to see her thrown on the backlines in the New World because she deserves better. Also, Sogeking was a huge development for Usopp, really pushed his character forward in the series. And of course, Blueno vs Luffy & Rob Lucci vs Luffy were some of the best fights in the series. Gear 2nd!

: Haikyuu!! - Makko Shobu