but im gonna post this anyway u cant stop me tumblr

anon:answer - part1

Anon ask : please do theories from jongin’s perspective ;_;

Eyy there anon-nie, sorry for the very delayed reply (actually I had written my answer earlier, but my tumblr inbox crashed /cry blood/ bc apparently my gifs+nonsensewords game is too strong)

your eyes, prepare them *dundundun*

ADDED: SORRY, I have posted it earlier/yesterday but shit happened (the gifs/picts missing mannnn) and then I had to delete it /le cry blood again/ since im such a tumblr noob

[As always, this is how I perceive things* (*things = dem kaisoo moments), I am not a professional nor qualified nor certificated nor expert of “body language and all that jazz”. i do not know these boys personally, everything is based on things* I have found/seen on internet cuz I have no life, this prob will be weird and deluded af]

Note #1: even tho this is “from jongin’s perspective” my words are written NOT on the behalf of jongin nor kyungsoo. I don’t and never will claim to speak on the behalf of either of them. This is from deluded 3rd person/outsider/stranger’s point of view.

Note #2: I am a trash and I have no shame to remind it to y’all. So if u think shipping is annoying, kaisoo is annoying, kaisoo shipper is annoying and fking deluded and loud cuz they cant control their feels and apparently they are at fault too bc many people appreciate their works (such as fanfics and fanarts etc) –

tbh how can that even be their fault? Like u mad cuz other ppl get compliments, like honestly? r u for real? Like fuck logic, yeah? And you are angry cuz we are loud here in tumblr? Loud about kaisoo on kaisoo tag? Like what? I mean what? Just… I don’t understand? I thought we r all liberals here man. I don’t know that our freedom of speech is limited here on tumblr? Then where should we speak out loud then? where should we spazz and vent out our feelings then? on the street? Yelling like an actual crazy person? I thought dictatorial communism isn’t part of internet but I guess I am wrong, of course we have to follow you oh the mighty and glorious majesty, the ruler of the internet, of course we shall seal our lips, or more like tie our fingers, to stop us worshipping our holy ship. Of course.

– anyway, if you are one of those people, skip this post. Don’t ever look at it. Forget it exists. you can leave me a hate mail and I wouldn’t care – please be creative if you do though ahaha no.

Note #3: since I feel this topic has a really wide range (since there are so many things that had happened on this ship to be discussed), so im gonna separate this answer into parts (the reason is bc I don’t want to risk any thing again since this is my 2nd attempt already and if this thing becomes too long again and then shit happens, like crashed or the image wouldn’t load bc of my noob-ish-ness, at least it wont take such amount of time for me to re-do it…),

anyway, this [PART1] will contain: jongin’s “don’t want to eat with that hyung” moment that turned into “become the closest the fastest”, to how he smiles at soo, looking, touching, ‘cute&love’ associated w/ ksoo

again im crazy dont listen to me /hurr-durr/ 

Now lets get this started; just like with soo before, Im gonna start with “I don’t want to eat with that hyung”

He looked so guilty when yeol mentioned and then yeol mentioned they [kaisoo] became the closest in exo. Im gonna be honest here, I don’t have any conspiracy theory/delulu shit to say opinion on jongin’s part/action, since this event of misunderstanding was occurred bc of ksoo’s action and I think I have explained it enough in my first post about the reason that I believe why ksoo couldn’t look at jongin

still im gonna remind y’all why I take astigmatism as such a bullshit reason, bc:

1. no other members had complained about this “he didn’t want to look at me” about soo, it’s only kai, and as far as I know the only thing that lil bit similar to this was; (in some translation notes) lay said that “i thought d.o was cold but turn out he isn’t, he is friendly” ((?) not exact words but basically that was what he said, btw this is from magazine interview, I don’t remember what magazine),

yet (IMHO) this feels very far different with jongin’s “don’t want to eat w/ that hyung”, bc even tho lay thought ksoo was cold it didn’t have that much impact on him, lay only said this as his first impression (bc he said “I thought…”, meaning that he only felt like that, right?) and he didn’t push it any further, unlike jongin who seemed to take it – ksoo’s attitude – seriously (proven by him didn’t want to eat with ksoo)… well of course I mean jongin did say ksoo didn’t want to look at him (so it makes sense?) and unlike in lay’s case, “he felt/thought [ksoo was a cold]”, in jongin’s case “he experienced it [soo didn’t want to look at him]”, do u get what am I saying? can you already feel my delulu radiates from your screen? Hm?

2. Now let’s “pretend” that astigmatism was the real reason ksoo couldn’t look at jongin. then why only jongin? I suspect ksoo must have avoided jongin(‘s eyes) often in their early/first encounters, bc it left such a deep impression (that made jongin didn’t want to go out together w/ him), if it was only one or two times ksoo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking….

(why I assume “when they were talking” while the gif[‘s sub] only said “he wouldn’t look at me”? bc jongin knew soo didn’t look at him, meaning he looked at soo while soo doing this [avoiding his eyes/face], then why he looked at soo when soo did this? why he found soo’s action was rude? at that time they just barely met, if soo was idle or busy doing his own things, ofc jongin wouldn’t find it rude for soo not look at him. thus it makes sense to conclude that soo didn’t look at jongin when they were talking),

…then jongin wouldn’t have such an impression about soo (bc if its just once or twice, you wouldn’t think about it right? You prob wouldn’t make a big a deal about something that happened for once or twice that involves someone you just met, but jongin had such impression about soo, meaning this had happened quite a lot/in repetitive pattern for him to notice and took it inside his heart/mind).

I’m not that knowledgeable about astigmatism but what I know is this eyes condition mainly causing your vision to be distorted and blurred, so based on these two major symptoms, (imo) it doesn’t make sense that astigmatism caused soo couldn’t look at jongin’s properly while they were talking…. (if jongin said “ksoo stared at me a lot when we’re talking” or “ksoo often squinted his eyes when he talked to me” etc etc… then it would match [more fit/appropriate] with ksoo’s eyes condition, instead of “he [ksoo] didn’t want to look at me. i thought he was in bad mood…” being paired with “bc ksoo has astigmatism”, imo it doesn’t fit at all….but prob just me idk IM A TRASH OKAY, A BIASED TRASH, don’t listen to me)

And after this “didn’t want to eat w/ that hyung” incident happened and solved they became the closest. I cant make any speculation/delulu theory about how they made up, bc until this day there is no interview about it nor any other members *coughchanyeolcoughcough* blabber about it, so I assume that how the way they solved this misunderstanding is only exclusive for them to know (perhaps someone outside exo knows or maybe other members know, but like I have said before that maybe there is some sort of unspoken rules for certain things between other members…)

I suspect that this misunderstanding was solved w/ jongin as the initiator bc i had mentioned jongin is a blunt person (as it had been said by some members in a radio interview)  even tho he is quite reserved like ksoo in my prev post, 

so MAYBE he asked soo why soo avoiding to look at him or MAYBE this thing was resolved bc they were being paired in the same room in the dorm and sooner or later soo had to look at jongin (soo couldn’t avoid him forever) and then bam they became closer; prob bc they have same interests? Like movie, anime/cartoon; pororo, prince of tennis, one piece: [jongin’s phone stickers, soo imitated franky on the stage when exo in japan], jongin’s ‘crayon/pencil shincan’ sticker on his phone case… (I sound so creepy rn… don’t judge me mmkay, I gained this information once upon a time when I was browsing tumblr at 2 AM. my brain decided to burn this info inside my memory…) MAYBE is the key-word cuz I don’t know shit okay, im deluded af

I mean MAYBE, I am all wrong here, maybe all the things i have written are bunch of crazy bullshit, maybe we are all wrong here, and need to visit the asylum for seeing things, bc they could be just a pair of mere co-workers, nothing beyond that, it could be just how S.Korean men do skinship to show the over-flowing cares and attentions they have to each other inside their beautiful, blooming and wonderful friendship. what do I know anyway I’m just an uncultured ignorant swine

something interesting also happens between the members bc of this “don’t wanna eat w/ that hyung” incident bc they like to make fun of jongin about this matter, like why? why the other members love to rub this incident on jongin’s face? do they think this incident as something special, is it bc this thing is so ironic since now kaisoo is the closest? But don’t you think it’s a lil bit too much, I mean IF kaisoo just a pair of regular friends then why other members try that hard to remind jongin of his awkward misunderstanding about his closest hyung in front of the camera? Why do they enjoy it so much to put jongin in such flustered condition? Why?

I just love how chanyeol threw that topic, again, twice.

I mean look at him, his smile was so full of guilty… and the smile only lasted for few seconds…

“cant look bc of astigmatism”…  later on this guy stretched himself on top of jongin without blinking

Now lets move on from ‘don’t wanna eat with that hyung’ to ‘become the closest members’, as you may have known, after a while yeol moved in kaisoo’s room, in radio interview (I don’t have the link, nor I have watched it, I only saw the gifs or was it translation notes? Idr…) yeol said that kai always locks the bathroom door when he takes shower (I assume that each room in the dorm has its own bathroom, since if yeol was talking about shared bathroom, then why he mentioned this habit of kai few weeks later after he moved in with kaisoo then? why he didn’t notice this habit and then blabber it sooner before he moved in? hence I think he was talking about kai’s habit in their shared bedroom’s bathroom),

(Okay thanks to the anon who told me before, I watched the video again, so basically the lady asked kai (for dancing in the shower) bc D.O mentioned it first. It was around the minutes 35-ish. Exo Sina Interview.)

 the gifs above telling us that ksoo walked in when jongin was taking shower (and dancing too), why he didn’t lock the door when (as far as I know at that time) he and soo shared bedroom only for 2 of them? Hmmmm? yeah there is probability his habit of locking the bathroom door started bc of this event, BUT when he mentioned about D.O saw him, he didnt look, uncomfortable? ashamed? he giggled… like “lol hyung saw me”, so it makes me doubt he starts the locking bathroom door thingy bc of this BUT HEY THIS IS PERHAPS JUST ME SEEING THINGS FROM DELUSHIT EYES

Look at him changing his shoulders stance and then threw a damn smirk at the end. He was in ‘guarded’ position – his arms were placed in front of his body (according to some articles that I have read, if a person lying they would put something as a barrier; it could be their arms, purse, a cup, etc, between them and the other person / interviewer), so hommie aint lying about their pororo ritual bc he ‘unguarded’ as soon as he mentioned “me and kyungsoo…” (again this is just how I see things, also notice he gulped first before he spoke, his cheeks/jaw tensed and then his corner lips tugged up too. Before he spoke he was in hunched position, when he spoke he moved his upper torso, leaning it forward, like in “attacking” stance? Like um, proud of the words that flow out his mouth? IDK IM CRAZY YO PERHAPS JUST OVERNANALYZING THINGS

Many others (including me) have notice he often has a proud expression when he talks about ksoo (or when other praises soo, like when suho talked about ‘chart’, or when ksoo sings), and that damn smirk he gave after he said “[we] watch pororo together” was like a mocking? Idk like ‘bitch me and soo have special ritual and u don’t how sad ur life is /laughs/’. idk maybe this is just me ;__; /save me from this delusional state/

Also speaking of pororo I heard that jongin bought his niece a bucket of flower and a pororo doll /cue to scream like banshee/, the anon (not my anon btw, it was kyungsoosbumhole’s anon who said this) speculated that the reason jongin brought 2 gifts bc one of them from ksoo? Idk if it’s true but even tho im not sure but just thinking about it makes me giddily happy  

And I know this is about jongin now, but look at soo when jongin said soo was the tidiest and soo fucking bit his lips cuz he was so fucking giddy like “omigash jongin praises me AFHGSFDHLG” 

soo fucking folded jongin’s shirt and when he got praised by jongin he looked so giddily happy and it seems he only does this to jongin bc no other members said about this (like for ex other would say ‘yeah he folded mine too! He is so tidy!’, but no one did so)… again just jongin… /groan happily/

i’ve heard that soo helps around the dorm, I heard he cooks (the manager said he does this often on weekend, suho also said that ksoo helped him in the dorm – something involving cooking while if its cleaning, xiumin will handle it), he even wiped luhan’s sweat, he tied tao’s shoelaces and he helped yeol often too (with his mic, outfit, etc)

but when he does it to jongin, it’s different? I mean he blew jongin’s mic for fuck sake and always there to fuss over about jongin (jongin’s mic – the one that being hold and the one that being glued on their face/cheek, non-existent eyelashes, water bottles, clothes, etc), its like jongin gets special treatment,

also folding shirt is quite personal don’t cha think? like usually people would just nag and throw the shirt somewhere else if their just-platonic-hommie-bro-roommate being a pig, …or the hommies would be ‘like nah man just move it somewhere else I’ll deal with it later’, perhaps ‘they would say thanks dude for folding my shirt’ but will they show it off later to the world? Like ‘hey you know what? My hommie folded my shirt yesterday! He is so neat! … and also very cute and also he makes me want to coddle him, and he makes me smile all the time idk he’s just very cute, and his lips look so plushy too, I want to touch them while I feed them sweet, but you know, of course in the most heterosexual way… #no homo’

and this might sound sexist (I know this does NOT apply to ALL, so sorry in advance boys) but it’s rare for boys do this, especially do this for another boy’s sake; unless they are really really really close like so close they did eskimo kiss on the stage… and don’t give me, OMIGOSH ITS JUST ABOUT THE ANGLE OF THE CAMERA, bc no, man, no, they were standing straight right in the front of camera – if baek and jonghyun didn’t stand in front of them, we could see them clearly – so, what angle? Like what is this angle do you speak of? Is this angle the same creature as kim jongin’s non-existent fallen eyelashes that do kyungsoo picked off his cheek? I mean if its from the side, sure, but straight in front of camera? and they also pressed their cheeks together after that eskimo kiss, is that the magic of camera’s angle again??  Sure, hon),

ofc this is just camera’s angle playing trick to us

another version

THE CAMERA ANGLE IS CASTING A SPELL TO OUR EYES

there are many other moments about jongin showing off his love  uh-pardon me—i mean his very platonic best friend :)  soo to the world (or more like stage, just look how often he points soo when soo is singing) or showing off how close they are (like that “we watch pororo together”, “we created fake cinema, JUST THE TWO OF US, with popcorn too”, “he saw me dancing naked”, “I dun call him hyung cuz we’re close”, “he is not quiet you have to know how to approach him” etc…), it would make me write a damn book with sequel too if I decided to discuss about all of them moments, cuz there are so many…

now lets move on to how jongin always associate ksoo with cute, heart, and love… tbh I would like to simply just say ‘hommie is so whipped af’, but I think the asking anon wouldn’t be satisfied if I only answer with that

so again, IMO, It seems that jongin really adores ksoo,  bc the constant “cute” and “love” he keeps associate with soo seem sincere, I don’t believe this is part of fanservice… like when he chose that s.e.s – love song for soo, too subtle to be fanservice and when he called soo cute (when baek said soo looked dumb) he looked startled ((?) like ‘oh shit’) when he realized that there was a camera, or that “hyung should take care of his voice, I’m worried, I love you”, he looked really sincere when he said this, but what do I know I’m just a fucking trash

he mouthed gwi yeo weo  귀여워 , which means ‘you’re cute’, right?

yeol and luhan hesitated but jongin immediately pointed at soo

lol hyung so funny

look at jongin stopped smiling as soon as baek looked at his direction (and baek had his mouth clamped when he saw jongin muttered cute) 

in the video he didnt even laugh/grin when he said this, his face just straight (and then he dropped the paper and that was it)

Mind you that he said “i’ll only give you an unchanging love” instead of S.E.S – love (bc it was supposed to be a clue, I guess, so he couldn’t say the song’s title)

his name wasn’t even mentioned by soo yet people know it was him who wrote this bc;

1. He had said this to soo before and had associated the word love with soo before (showtime),

2. He grinned happily and had expecting eyes looking at soo when soo read the poem,

3. Soo didn’t mention any name and immediately talking about chanyeol’s poem, even tho the host said “ah the member who wrote this must be lovable/precious”, if it was nothing for soo, soo would tell  who was the one who wrote it [read out loud the writers name] after the host mentioned those words, but he didn’t. why?

The point is jongin never cracked a mocking grin or made an awkward face when he declared his love, he either said it seriously or he grinned happily (when soo read oranghae poem) and for the “cute part”, I think it’s obvious enough for us to see that kim jongin finds do kyungsoo cute. Maybe this is just me being a trash biased, but imo jongin looks at soo with so much adoration in his eyes /cry cuz it’s so beautiful/ and don’t give me that OMIGOSH JONGIN LOOKS AT EVRY1 LIEK THAT bc fuck no. has he ever followed the other members’ movement w/ his eyes like this?

Or has he ever turned around 180o so he could look at other members?

has he ever been immediately snapping his neck just to see them speaking? (look at his neck/nape/shoulders twitched when soo began talking)

idk this is prob bc im deluded af but near the end i see his neck/jaw twitched before he turned around to face soo, as if he already wanted to turn around but refrain to do so since he was still talking to suho

chanyeol talked again but he still looked at ksoo

has he ever ignoring ksoo’s speech so he could look at other members like this?

baek singing but nini still stared at soo

soo only spke 2 words, i remember watching this video, and i think soo said “thank you”, kris was speaking bc they were interviewed in english, anyway soo only spoke 2 words then kris continued speaking again and jongin still has his eyes at him

suho spoke, baek was in his own world, yeol stare at the cameraman’s soul while kaisoo stared at each other, look at soo gulping, he looked at jongin and then his orbs darted down and the corners of his lips twitch

Also I have seen in YT where ksoo beatboxing and sehun danced, jongin looked at sehun BUT he didn’t smile, yet we have seen jongin smiled when soo dances in front of him

near the end of the gif, he tilted his head to soo’s direction and then smiled

near the end, his body already wanted to move to the left (our left) to do hip-thrust, but his head still in ksoo’s butt direction

there is nothing to be pointed out bc clearly his eyes were checking out his bae soo

Talk about smiling, maybe this is bc im so fking deluded and biased trash but I notice that whenever jongin laughs, he often turns his head to soo, like he wants to see soo when he’s laughing, just check on pepero commercial for example and there are also gifs 

it was soo on the bottom, and tell me right in the eyes that he didnt stare at soo and smiled )later on he got distracted bc suho got up)

why he didnt just smile at yeol instead, and i notice lay (i think) spoke too, why only smiled at soo’s talking? HMMMM?

he stared for a bit, turned around but then soo started laughing (snorted) and he turned his head again to face soo and then grinned

And like before, I have read some articles about if someone turns their head to [face] another person when they’re laughing/smiling basically meaning that they want to share their happiness to that person, and also it indicates that person as the source of their happiness/joy/good feeling/etc – hence that’s why they want to look at that person when they’re smiling/laughing, unconsciously hoping that their smile/laugh will become contagious to that person. Plus I heard smiling is one of the signs of attraction…

BUT I AM JUST A CONDEMNED DELUDED TRASH WITH NO LIFE WHAT DO I KNOW ANYWAY I KNOW NOTHING

Erhm

lets move on to touching,

first I would like to point on how they always do this naturally, and it makes me thinking perhaps it’s a habit? And we have seen how they often do this backstage (when they aren’t performing, when there is no fangirl to be satisfied with “opparr playful gheiness”);

he could just tap soo’s clothed arm/bicep and then told soo to move closer, but noooo he decided to grabbed soo’s bare hand instead

pulled off soo’s hoodies then rubbed soo’s shoulder

he stared at soo and then moved his head closer (look at him treated soo like a puppy (honestly the way he stares/acts at soo remind me of how someone would stare at their kids/puppies/kittens/lovedones/cutestuffs, like awwwing, but idk CUZ IM DELULU TRASH)

/grab soo’s arm and dragged soo closer/ i wonder what xiumin thought

compared to chen, he only nudged chen lightly ‘OMG HYUNG THIS HAND’S MOVEMET IS SO FUUNNYY AHAHAAHASGHKHDK’

first pict, look at him grabbed soo’s arm

he dragged soo to be closer with him, and i notice there was a lady there, so either he wanted to speak/whisper to soo (but soo’s mouth aint moving tho, it could be he just whispered) or he didnt want to soo to get close to that lady

Second, how they touch these so called intimate area or erogenous zone

soo looked at camera and also rubbed nini’s hand

then arm rubbing stopped, jongin rubbed soo’s knee (bc soo’s arm looked free now/off jongins hand/ behind the bottles), broship much

soo moved back when he noticed there was a camera

sliding from nape to throat

why jongin ducked his head when soo stared at him, was he shy? jfc nini u had ur hand on his neck, u practically manhandled soo to stand closer yet u got shy when he stared at you? that male host tho

External image

jongin moved his leg so their knees touched, also it seems his leg placed under soo’s leg/calf

Anyway neck is one of the erogenous area, you could trigger a wet/bonner/both moment if someone caressed ur neck, or u prob will feel ticklish , or both (horny+ticklish) but soo doesn’t react about this, as if jongin is used to do this to him (and lemme remind u when chen and tao tried to touch him – on his thigh – he removed their arms, but when jongin did it, he didn’t. jongin put his palm on his neck, bare neck. Don’t u think bare neck is more sensitive than clothed thigh? and not just bare neck, but the front part – the soft and vulnerable part – of his neck, not his nape (bc I notice some ahjussi would put their arm on some youngster’s [clothed] nape or other members would do this to him too/each other)

Sure this can be seen as something playful (bc once upon a time when I was in HS, some guys did this as a type of joke – they would ewwwwww-ing and then laughing like a llama after they did it)

But this? THIS? most ppl would flinch/back away like “dude the fuck r u doing?” as soon as they see their mate’s hand flying directly to their crotch, but soo didn’t. he just stood there, as if it is NOT something surprising for jongin to do.. hmmmmmm.. and don’t give me that’s how S.Korean men skinship works bullshit /HONESTLY?/

Speaking of zipper, I also have something to say about this… this shit has been bugging me for a long time;

am I the only one who think that jongin was talking about soo’s belt? (bc I have seen this gif set couple of times in this site, yet the caption is always about “what do you mean jongin?” or “what?” etc) and what I mean belt is not the seat belt, but the belt around the waist, the belt that you wear on your pants.

jongin mentioned about soo’s baggy pants, meaning soo wears belt so his pants won’t drop (cuz it’s so baggy/lose yo), but why would jongin mention such thing then? it makes sense to wear a belt if your jeans/outdoor pants lose, so it makes me thinking that the “baggy pants” he mentioned was indoor pants, like sweat pants/hip-hop-pants/soft-clothed-material-pants, and then the belt perhaps the cloth-rope that usually loops inside part of the waist (hope I explain this correctly, me no speak English as firsteu language yo), cuz usually ppl would just wear the pants without giving a shit about that cloth-rope but perhaps soo adjusts and ties it around his waist? Idk

but my point is, does that mean jongin often sees ksoo wears pants? They shared a bedroom tgther, so yeah it’s not that big deal, it’s common, but then doesn’t that mean jongin not only just sees but pays attention to soo when soo puts his attire – especially his pants – since jongin was able to burn soo’s little quirkiness inside his memory and then unconsciously blurted it out to yeol + camera. And on the 3rd gif soo immediately froze and stopped looking at camera (he looked at yeol instead) and on 4th gif jongin was eyeing ksoo then he laughed it off like ‘nvm dude’ when yeol asked him “what?”

Now lets move on how they comfort/take care of each other, it seems that ksoo showing his care more behind the closed door/inside the dorm… 

(for ex folding his shirt, cooking, remember when he mentioned jongin couldn’t cook, or in exo showtime jongin said I expected more than this when he ate that burnt meat that was cooked for soo (does that mean he often taste delicious foods made by soo then if he commented like that?) or when jongin praised soo’s cooking in EXO ASK BOX –

– ugh speaking of EXO ASK BOX i just rewatched it bc of writing this, and I just love it when yeol answered that D.O as the member that he likes to prank but always fail (bc ksoo ignores yeol’s pranks) and then jongin was like ‘bruh I got this’ and then explained everything about how and why (ksoo ignores yeol) and then when chanyeol got question about ‘which movie u would like play/star in?’ sehun answered “horror” and then baek made fun of ksoo saying “horror kyungsoo” and then ksoo was like “this isn’t about me! it’s about chanyeol!” and other members made fun of him and then ksoo went to torture baek (which he didn’t do bc he went back to his seat again) and baek was like “I thought this is about you” and then others laughed and jongin immediately cut in “it’s horror for chanyeol too” like whaaaaat?

Did he just defend his baby? Or this is me just seeing delulu shit, bc I interpret “it’s horror for chanyeol too” as a form of defending soo bc ‘soo in horror = joke’, so he put yeol in horror too to equalize the joke/mock, and after he cut in the joke faded away and yeol was like “yeah it’s horror for me”,

also jongin laughed when baek joked “I heard you took cooking class” to soo, suho snorted while yeol and sehun were smiling a little, he was the only one laughed ‘HAHAHA’, it was short but loud like other members didn’t find it that funny –

– back to cooking thingy, when baek said “d.o makes good spaghetti” then jongin quickly added “he makes great kimchi too” like he wants to show it’s not only baek who knows about soo’s best dishes but he knows that too (PROB JUST MEANT NOTHING THO… im just a trash anyway),

… while jongin often shows it on stage/public – not in fanservicely manner – like he would put his arm around soo when soo nervous

their heads touched

Or when he defended soo

all other members sans yixing and jongin wanted to hit soo, yixing had his reason, bc he was told to heal soo later with his “power”, what was jongin’s reason for not wanting to hit soo?

Or answered for soo

soo was like “um…”

then after jongin answered for him, soo nodded and was like “ah yes that’s my unique trait”

Or when soo got embarrassed he went to jongin even tho yixing was right between them

Or when jongin asked soo instead of yixing

Or dis

lol trolled by baek

Or when jongin encouraged soo to step forward or “promoting” soo

/hides behind jongin/

“no my love, dont hide, stand beside me”

Now lets move on to his stare, above, I have mentioned why I feel his stare for soo is different (full of adoration and all that fairy tale bullshit /im a bitter person/) from the way he stares other members, and how often he gets caught staring at soo FOR NO REASON (while w/ other members, he stares at them when they speak/perform/etc) but with soo, he just STARES even tho soo doesn’t do shit (like other members are talking/giving speech but jongin stares at soo instead).

tell me right in the eye he didnt just look at the mirror to see soo’s butt reflection (while sehun looked at soo bowing instead)

he looked at soo biting the sandwich (?) and then he blinked and flicked his eyes on the right (not on soo anymore), also look at his arm, very subtle there mr.kim

Again perhaps this is me being biased deranged trash but I see kim jongin stares at do kyungsoo’s lips like he wants to kiss the fuck out of that man’s heart shaped lips

[zoom this shit if u dont believe me] sure this gif is SLOWED, but it didnt hide the fact that jongin flicked his eyes to soo’s lips then. meaning he did look at soo’s lips, also if this once/twice happened and got caught on camera, what makes you think that he doesnt do this off camera? and has he ever done this before to someone?

Sometimes you look at someone’s lips when that someone talks to make it sound clearer (according to some science program on BBC idk I don’t remember whats that show’s name), your brain connects your hearing sense with seeing sense, thus the brain will be able to retrieve more information and digest it so the result will be much more defined / clear. (in simple explanation : people talk - -> you hear = good brain reception; people talk - -> you hear + you see them lips moving so fine = better brain reception)

Also it had been said that if you’re engaged in interesting conversation you would stare at that person’s face (not only their eyes, but their entire face). does that mean jongin and ksoo often engage in such interesting conversation (I often see how other members cant get inside their bubble)? also does that mean jongin really wants to hear ksoo’s words, like he doesn’t even want to miss a single word? 

or was it bc he is intrigued by soo’s lips and makes him to want to kiss dem plushy  (remember he was the one who answered “heart shaped lips” as soo’s unique feature, while in showtime baek chose “wide-white-part-of-the-eyes” as soo’s unique trait), and I’ve heard somewhere u would often stare at your crush’ lips (idk if this is true tho), not necessarily u want to kiss them, but bc someone’s mouth often moves a lot (wetting their lips, smiling, talking etc), so when u stare at ur crush face u often will focus ur stare on their lips (beside their eyes too)… but idk

I think that’s it, I cut it and made it shorter than before – some parts that were originally here aren’t here anymore – I would add them later in the next part.

Once again, sorry for the very late reply dear anon; reasons: motherfuckingassignment, inbox crashed in the middle of answering /le cry blood/, my kaisoo stash folder is really fucked up and un-organized its very hard for me to find the appropriate gifs/picts, my nooby skill is over 9999 and I managed to fuck up and deleted the already posted/answered ask—which is yours anon—/le cry blood 2x/ bc the picts+gifs wouldnt load after that so i thought it better to delete and re-post (SORRY DUDES and DUDETTES)

And for the anons that had asked me about jelly!kaisoo, ill merge them together with the next part of this post

[below this is purely my 2 cents, there is no “theory” anymore, skip it if you prefer it]

kaisoo have become SO obvious it hurts I think my “theories” aren’t needed anymore? (and somehow calling it theory makes it sound snobbish and scientific, that’s why I always put this [“”] sign between them, to make it not to be taken seriously, just take this as the usual stuffs you found on the internet, like that quote : everything’s on internet is true – Abraham Lincoln )

I feel I don’t have to explain shit anymore since it’s already there in front of our eyes, ksoo practically kissing jongin’s ear on stage, I cant believe if someone still doubting them? like “I think soo and kai have something going on… but but im not sure, they could be just friends… friends as in platonic, I’m not sure… I ship them though, romantically, but im not sure

do your friend eskimo kiss you? do your friend kiss your earlobe? do your friend caress ur throat/thigh/ear? do your friend occasionally touch your lips? do your friend stare the fuck out of you like they want to kiss you, fuck you, and coddle you? do your friend get jealous if you speaking/being close w/ someone else? if they do, then lets have a moment for out fallen brother/sister in the friend zone… I mean how could you still be in gray area? after all this time – all these recent moments? how? does ksoo need to stick his tongue inside jongin’s earhole to erase those clouds of doubts of yours? his lips on jongin’s ear is not enough for you?

oh btw soo’s lips on jongin’s ears is not the work of glory magical camera’s angle, okay? have you seen how many fans posted the picts from different angles?

from jongin’s back (why yeol judging them?)

here from different angle, sure soo’s lips didnt touch the ear cuz of timing but it doesnt hide the fact that his nose tip did touch jongin’s ear, It’s either soo’s lips or soo’s nose that touched nini’s ear, so what now? wheres your god camera’s angle now?

“yixing is busy talking, this is my chance!”  /goes to jongin to kiss whisper to him/

jongin was like “huh?”  bc in the first gif he was busy feeling soo’s lips/nose on his ear instead of listening soo’s whisper

and it’s not like jongin is any different, (this was when they were in japan, if im not wrong)

the work of perfect camera angle. sure.

sorry for my rudeness, but in case u don’t know this answer also being posted as a retaliation post, (I know some ppl who come to this tag to have fun but then when they see somebody talks shit and burst their bubble, it would leave a sour taste in their mouth man, not everyone have blessed life, perhaps they have shit going on in their life and escaping to this side of internet gives them giggles, so please stop giving us hate/self doubt),

me lurking kaisoo tag just to have some fun but then there will be a post saying shit about thing that I adore so badly (the post had mentioned about “its not just kaisoo shippers who are talented” too. wut? jelly much? our fandom has many good fanfics, I know.. i know..),

and often posts/messages like this would be added with “…don’t ship too seriously. you’ll get hurt later”, like do you think we don’t know that? do you think we don’t know it’s risky for betting our feels on the idea of two guys – that we don’t even know how their real personas/personalities are, who live far away from (some of) us, who see us as another number of views in YT or sales in music store – being together and in love for real? do you think we are that dumb? we know it but we still do it cuz it’s fun… cuz it gives us feels to spazz over, cant u just let us be crazy in our little world?

Idk where this hate comes from, bc I see kaisoo shippers all about kaisoo~kaisoo~kaisoo~, they rarely complain about other ships (they even rarely bat an eyelashes to other ship, sure other exo ship, but that’s it, “yay ot12!”, etc no hate whatsoever). Sure we can be loud and be like “OMGKAISOOSOREAL”, ‘#realestshipever’, “why u don’t ship kaisoo? What hurt u in the past?” or posting ‘this kind of post’ for exmpl (in my defense I have said the warnings about me being deluded trash etc), 

so yeah I understand that we can come out as annoying,  but these things only exist on this tag, of course there are will be people that cruise this ship or even helicarrier it, so why even bother? why don’t just avoid kaisoo tag or unfollow ppl that post/reblog kaisoo, for your convenient sake. So much simpler than writing a rant and then get many random anon messages or being attacked passive-aggressively by a trash blog, yeah?  

(uggggghhh im sorry im very rude but this thing just makes my fingers itchy to write a rant)

I have seen a lot about SM ships KaiSoo and there are some who aren’t really fond of this idea, bc then their “realness” will be gone. Tbh, SM has my blessing to ship kaisoo, sail it SM, fucking cruise it, makes it fly to the moon, why? then kaisoo don’t have to play cat and mouse anymore, they could practically making out on the stage and ppl would buy “oppar just do fanservice!!1!” this is better than “covering them”,

I mean with recent incidents, the company couldn’t afford anymore scandal (or could they? perhaps they could still give us “surprise motherfucker” moments). anyway, as vulgar as it will sound, this group is their main ‘money milking tool’ right now. so I guess them playing along with this ship is more beneficial, since 1. It’s a trending, it attracts ppl, there are ppl who ship them first then get dragged along and drowned in exo world, casual fans bcme hardcore  = actually spending money than spazzing over them on internet since they are now tied/attached emotionally, 2. also: less works, less shit to deal with, less money to be thrown. It’s simpler and easy, 3. Both parties are happy (fans = nonshipper – don’t have to get jelly cuz oppar still single, shipper – YEAH BISH OUR SHIP RULES, nongiveafucker = meh, they can date whomever they want as long no other member will be out anymore; while the company = yay money! yay getting support to fight another company! *coughYcoughGcoughcough* yay popularity – gets aided by big/major brand *coughSAMcoughSUNGcough*)  

it’s indeed such a low and shitty move (how dare them play w/ our maidens feels??), but if SM values kaisoo’s interaction and see it as money maker, at least the pair will be given support, right? (yay for a “shield-card”) even tho I think SM doesn’t have the balls to push kaisoo that far… but we shall see it later. We shall see.

it’s fun and game until you realize how easy they could lift and stomp your feeling like snapping fingers.

Again you may feel that I’m talking like kaisoo is real and in relationship already, bc that’s how I FEEL (IM FUCKING DELUDED TRASH WHAT DO YOU EXPECT) 

A.N: I want to take a moment to thank to whomever up there for blessing this year with many “intense” kaisoo moments; aggressive soo + gentle nini.

fucking bless.

AGAIN IM CRAZY DON’T LISTEN TO MY DERANGED NONSENSICAL BULLCRAP YO

As always, sorry for my rudeness and my mistakes (wrong grammar, mistyped words/names, profanities, delulu shit). Bye /get swallowed by earth/

so i’m quitting tumblr, and i wanted to make one last follow forever as a way to show my love for the people who made this hellsite fun. here’s to the people who i’ve been following for literally ever, and to all my friends. thank u for being one of the few good things about my tumblr experience. i luv u all so so so much, u dont even kno. 

*i’d like to say that i went from following 200 people (most of which i was pretty friendly with and had at least one conversation with) to 100 in the last few months. a lot of people deleted, a lot of people changed urls (and as a result i didn’t know who they were so i unfollowed), or their blog content changed, or they stopped posting, etc. i have love for those people too, but i’m only including people who i’m currently following.

@alwaysfob: i’ve always admired you a lot, your edits are fantastic and fobcc was such a brilliant idea and i’m proud of how far it’s grown cuz i remember when you posted the very first one (and i entered and never submitted smth bc i was uninspired and i bothered me for months) so it’s cool to see all that creativity on my dash & know that you’re the cause :)

@anervousboyslife: oh god. i wanna bring up smth from the group chat but i forgot all our lil memes & inside jokes :( thank u for the sims btw. that made me so so happy for like a week & then guess what? my laptop took a shit like. immediately after & i havent been able to play on it since :( im tryna get it fixed but. eh. but it was extremely thoughtful & im still grateful lol. thank u for bein funny & nastay, we’ve had some good times

@angelboyfrnk ahah i just got distracted looking thru ur blog, it looks v nice, like the color scheme? i dig it. anyway idk we havent talked in a while but we were in that group chat right?? that was fun. good timezzz. anyways i hope ur havin a good day bb. i get 2 call u that cuz ur younger than me haha ahh

@arohurley omg angie…we hav been mutuals literally 5ever. i’ve always thought u were so kind & so talented & i look up to u a lot, idk, i lowkey used to consider my mutuals to be like. my family & u were kinda the too-cool big sis, idk? but regardless i got a lot of love & thank u for bein one of my longest mutuals, like i wouldve unfollowed me by now so ty <3

@blooshie omg hannah..ive always admired u for how genuinely nice u r, like u just come off as a pure person, ive always lowkey been jealous of that. ahahhh weren’t u the one who told me abt ducks & their corkscrew dicks. lmaoo jeez

@blowfob u never come on anymore, but i couldnt not include u. u were one of the first people i followed, & one of the ppl i admired most. u & kate & some other ppl. i remember, it was like june 2014 & u got hundreds of asks & i thought u were the coolest person ever. u were super super funny & i literally screamed when u followed me, like i wanted u to follow me for over a year so when u did i lowkey died bc that was like. my big dream when i got into bandom. i just wanted a follow from u. so ty lol. ur so talented (coder, app creator, musician??? list goes on, fuckin crazy) & amazing, i just. i got a lotta love. thank u for bein u i guess. god im sappy pshjs

@boyfriendstump oh my g o d. ur one of the nicest ppl i know, like srsly u’ve always been so kind to me?? also ur taller than me ;-; u fucken string bean. idk i have fond memories of u, thank u for always bein so rad & freakishly nice to me, u always put a smile on my face, real talk. thank u for that

@brandnews omg karlie!! my fav!! ur literally so wonderful, ur blog is fantastic (it’s just. so nice to look at? like it’s the perfect combo of things, it makes me happy), ur a funny and nice person & ur so cute, ur just rlly gr8 im gonna miss u on my dash & u in general aw

@bulletproofatbest did u kno ur the only 21p blog ive stuck with?? thats how gr8 u r. ur fantastic, oh god i cant gush enough. i dont think we’ve ever talked but i have nothing for respect for u, ur edits r gorgeous & ur such a kind human?? i just. i got a lotta luv |-/ :)

@bznedrine my san fran loving fav! ur so beautiful & so kind, aw. remember when u tried to hook me up w fob tickets?? i do. that was so nice of u. thx for always bein so gr8 chloe <3

@cabbagepatrick ive kinda come to the conclusion ur like a robot or smth bc u’ve literally never posted anything personal, in fact it used to alarm me & i almost considered unfollowing u a few times, but i just love u & ur enthusiastic tags way too much haha. ive been following u a long time & u just consistently put good posts on my dash & mix up the content & i just love u a lot for that. thnk u

@centurese i dont think uve logged on in a while but we’ve been mutuals & fanfic writing buddies for a pretty long time & i still admire u a lot, ur a fantastic writer & a rlly good person & ur rlly cute i hope ur doin ok <3

@cocoamocha omg im lovin ur new theme it’s so simple i luv it. ok so ur just rlly sweet & ur art is soooo good & i remember bein super duper psyched when u followed me bc ur such a wonderful artist & ive always looked up to the bandom artists & ya

@corktree i still cant believe u follow me. i still look up to u & think ur just as rad as i thought u were before, but since we’re mutuals now im less intimidated. but omg i used to think u were like otherworldly bc 1) ur super gorgeous i literally live for ur selfies 2) u’v been a fan for so long & ur still so passionate abt fob thats so admirable i lose interest in shit so quickly lol. but ya ur just. actual fob queen & i think ur amazing

@deathofabvchelor aw cami. ur bday’s sorta soon so first i wanna say happy early bday! uh idk i dont think we’ve talked much but u’ve been one of my fav blogs for a while & i loved havin u on my dash thx for bein so gr8

@donthurtyoself again i dont think we’ve talked much but ive always admired u ur rlly nice & i luv ur aesthetic & the stuff u post. thx for bein a mutual of mine :)

@falloutofvegas aye vegas buddies! ya we’ve never talked much but we’ve been mutuals for a long time & i always liked ur blog. thanks for stickin w me so long :)

@ginasfz aw i luv u & ur blog & the content u post & i dont have too much to say bc i didnt rlly know u but i always enjoyed u on my dash so thx for bein mutuals w me

@goldenstump i got two camis on this list & i luv em both!! gosh ur just rlly pretty & i luv luv luv ur fashion like ur selflies r what i think of when i see ur url & specifically how cute u r & how cute ur clothes always r & i hope ur doin well

@gothish we used to be mutuals but it’s ok, i still go a lotta respect for u & admire ur luv of andy & ya thanks for always bein so rad & nice to me in the few times we did talk

@holidaybassline we have been mutuals a long time, & u post a lot of sj stuff these days which normally i hate but i ended up sorta liking it, like u kept me up to date on discourse shit & it was surprisingly nice cuz i like bein informed so ty for that. & for u urself, i dont think we talked much but u always came across as nice & i always respected u so. ya.

@ilyena-rose uve been following me a long time (unfortunately if i remember right it was a while until i followed u back eh :c) but u always stood out in the sea of notifs & finally i followed back & im so glad i did, ur just awesome, i luv ur blog & i luv u, keep bein amazin ok?

@jerseypunk ur so freakishly pretty like it’s unnatural how beautiful u r not to mention ur an unbelievably nice person w a fantastic blog. we’ve had good times aw im nostalgic. stay rad & ilu <3

@lukeallvez ah i was so happy when u followed me omg ur such a fantastic artist (srsly so talented like how??) & ur just a rlly good person idk ur gr8 & i hope u kno it

@milkhealy imani ah im gonna cry. i cant even. put words to how much u mean to me. uve always went above & beyond for me & never failed to make me smile & im gettin a lil teary rn cuz it’s not often yanno that ppl care that much to do that for a person? ur just rlly special & this sounds corny but i legit cherish u. thank u so much for everything. ily.

@nofunclvb i was super duper psyched when u followed me, i admire u a lot & im so jealous of all the shows uve been to thats so impressive. idk ur so pretty like ur face is just. Rlly Good. and ur blog is Rlly Good too ur just amazing idk thank u for dealing w my nonsense on ur dash

@ohvegeta ok can i just say thank u?? so much, like the whole fic thing, im still so grateful for that, i love that damn fic sm & u were so incredibly nice w that whole situation (which im sure was annoying & a pain in the ass), and u continued to be ridiculously nice to my annoying lil self so? thank you for that.

@ouijafrnk i still look up to u & ill always admire u, ur so beautiful inside & out & i couldnt explain why but uve always been an inspiration, like just how u handle urself, idk, it’s 2am & im havin a hard time bc i love all these ppl sm but idk how to put that love into words lmao. idk ur just wonderful in every way i hope u kno that. 

@patty-strump again it’s 2am so mixing shit up out of exhaustion but im 70% sure u sent me a rlly sweet message when i said i was leaving & it was rlly nice, i dont think we talked too much but i loved ur blog a lot & ur a sweetheart

@payingnaivety bri uve been so nice & funny and like im not the kind of person who actively seeks out ppl to talk to so when u just started messaging me one day i was a lil offput but then i ended up loving ur stories & ur personality & idk im gonna miss u a lot thank u for bein so amazing 

@philsass phil sass or phils ass? the world will never kno. aw ur just rlly sweet thx for bein mutuals w me <3

@pstumph aw jaden ilu. ur so cute & so nice & ur blog is awesome, im gonna miss u a lot ur an awesome person & we haven’t talked recently but we used to & i always enjoyed our convos :)

@punkfob ur so pretty & ur blog is fantastic. when i think of ur blog ur selfies & ur lyric edits come to mind & both were always nice to look at haha hope u have a gr8 2k17 :)

@quicksilvcrr i have new found respect for ur url after an evan peters binge watchin fest back in october lmao. ofc assuming ur url is abt the xmen quicksilver. if not that’d b awks. anyway ur rad af k bye

@radicalrumps we’ve been thru a lot, mostly good times & a couple bad times, but u were always gr8 no matter what. ur funny, nice, beyond talented, & i loved hearin ur stories abt ur crazy life. thank u for sharing it w me. ily.

@rapunkzle ive been following u almost my entire time on here & never stopped loving ur blog for one minute, thx for bein gr8. btw i luv luv luv ur theme it’s so adorable omg

@ribbonwentz sarah u & i hav been thru. A Lot. i remember when u told me what cummies were .-. that was cruel. but idk ive always respected u a lot ur info-finding skills r beyond impressive (become a detective or smth legit ur good at it so get paid for it) & idk ty for fun talks & stuff

@saverockanroll that message u sent me was literally so sweet, thank u sm for that. ur a wonderful person, & ur literally so pretty, ur def goin places. i believe in u! ily thanks for bein amazing 

@sayyoprayers vegas jew buddies!! aw ur funny & memey & u come off as so chill & fun i hope u have a good 2017 & let’s hope maybe it snows here in satans ass usa??? thatd be nice psh

@semiwentz u kno of all the blogs im following ive been following u longest?? thats pretty impressive. i never even considered unfollowing, thats how rad u r. thx for bein a quality blog for 2+ yrs.

@sixteencandlez aw my lil hayley williams loving fav :) ur just rlly gr8 & ur blog is awesome idk ily a lot

@slimshadylamps oh god uve always been so, so nice to me im gonna miss u sm. thank u for always bein there for me & srsly so kind & fun i def appreciate all the times we talked ty for those convos.

@soulpunkboxes ur rlly sweet & super cute, ty for always bein a nice friend even if we didnt talk too much & good luck w ur vinyl collecting & ur music makin :)

@spaceboyfrnk i couldnt believe it when u followdd me & i still cant, like ur blog is so good, ur edis r fuckin rad, u deserve every single follower u have. ty for makin me feel cooler than i am every time i remembered u & i were mutuals lol.

@stillfeelthatrushinmyveins ur such a happy person, like idk u just give the impression that ur rlly optimistic & fun & i kinda like associate u w happy things like sunshine so like. idk thanks for bringin ur metaphorical sunshine & great content to my dash

@stumpelstiltskin ah man we’ve been friends for a long time & i hope ur not too upset abt me leaving. im sorry we havent talked that much this year but i always valued u as a friend & our skype calls were always fun. pet ur cats for me ok? ilu.

@swiftembers omg ur so nice & ur edits r legit incredible like i love the things u create & post & when u followed me i was psyched enough bc of ur original content but then i found out ur an incredibly nice person & i was like???? how dare u be so amazing??? keep up the good work.

@theballadofmonalisa ah another case where i dont think we talked much but i loved u a lot anyway?? u post #goodshit & ive always loved ur blog

@thexstyles idk we rarely talked but theres a couple of blogs that i would never unfollow even if they stopped posting yanno & ur one of them. i just rlly luv ur blog & u 

@throam i still cant believe u got that url. thats so impressive. we’ve been mutuals for a long, long, long time. like, im pretty sure ur one of the first ppl i was ever mutuals w. thx for that.

@ticksinbeat ur theme is so cute omg i luv it. hey ok i dont think we’ve ever talked but i luv ur blog a lot yahhh

@trohvocaine remember that time i misspelled ur url. lmao idk how that’s possible but i did it psh. ur just rlly fantastic, i remember when u followed me i was soo happy cuz i looked up to u sm, still do, ur rlly nice & ur selfies r always so good (ur so pretty!!) & ya thx for bein ur amazing self

@washingtonsqpark i look up to u sm, like ur snapchat is my actual favorite thing & the fact that ur like besties w bill beckett like??? i just have a lot of respect, ur a super kind person, ur rlly beautiful, & idk. thanks for talking to me all that time ago. keep bein amazing & chances r ur probably goin to a show soon so have fun lmao

@winterwentz aw fuck ilysm. ur just so wonderful, w havent talked too much recently but i used to love our conversations a lot. ur a gr8 person, i hope ur doin well ilu.

@xmasdallon aw tessa. ur a good way to end this. i luv u a lot. ur so cute & talented (pls keep makin music ur so good at it) like legit i live for ur a capella stuff, it’s so fantastic. idk ur an actual treasure ily

ily all, thank u<3

Alright, im on an hour break, im on mobile, this is gonna have a shitton of grammatical errors but i honestly feel this is the one topic im gonna have to put my two cents in. Also, ive got 12 messages in 2 hours asking what the hell happened and i dont think it would be fair to sum it all up in a small response when the problem is a bit bigger than what a summary can answer. This is gonna be a looooong fuckign post and i cant add a readmore until i get home…

Im black. I live in the ghetto and i live in one of the most dangerous boroughs in the entirety of New York City. Im black, and i work in a hospital where im surrounded by white people, professional white people in the dirtiest fucking borough in ny. These same white people live right here in the bronx surrounded by other minorites and despite this, i have been called a n*gger roughly 10-15 times in my line of work as a mere secretary.

By white people. Who, mixed with an obnoxious sense of superiority, throw this term around whenever they feel that someone has upset them, that someone who has fucked up deserves to be called this be it a secretary, a janitor, pct, nurse, even other doctors. I have been called n*gger multiple times at work, outside, online, on xbox, and no matter how many times i hear it, it still fucking burns me inside out without fail.

Im saying this because, when you are subjected to any form of racism, having it happen to you on a daily basis does not desensitize you. At all. No one magically becomes ‘unaffected’ when faced with blatant racism. For some people, they feel the need to fight back and rightfully so. For some people, its just better if they just stay quiet, stay on the sidelines. Racism affects people in different ways…

Im saying this because there is a very, VERY good reason as to why I no longer watch any gg videos in the Jon era.

Arin grew up in the nastiest part of the fucking south. In fact, p much everyone down South is downright racist. I have family down there, ive physically traveled there ( Georgia, South Carolina) and despite the south being full of Black people, we are still treated like absolute scum. It fucking b u r n s me but im so meek and quiet and im too scared of confrontations to ever say shit outloud. So i stay quiet and if i can help myself i try avoid anything thatll wind me up or make me uncomfortable.

This is no excuse. Theres no excuse for ever saying n*gger, absolutely none. And while i havent seen the video Arin mentioned he said the n word in, him saying any variation of the word is completely fucking unacceptable. I dont care that he was brought up in a racist fucking shit pile of a state. I dont care if he had a token 'black friend’ i dont fuckign care its disgusting and rude and its not his term to throw around.

However.

This is something he said in the past; This is something he said years ago. People can change in just a couple of years despite what tumblr will tell you and he clearly has. When you are surrounded by people with disgusting world views and you have no way of learning any better, it sticks with you. When youre caught in this nasty circlejerk of people encouraging racist behavior with no way of knowing how wrong this all is, its hard to change your ways.

Mark, Arin, Dan, name any youtuber whos been here for over 3 years and think about just how different they are now from when they started. Snide comments, slick remarks, they were almost always sexist. But being exposed to tons of people who have absolute zero tolerance for that kind of shit made them reform. Change is slow and change is difficult and I appreciate anyone whos taken a step forward no matter how slow or small that progress may look.

While ill admit that im reluctant to watch the Jon-era of videos, all the videos ive watched have been pretty tame. The occasional joke maybe, but both of them were somewhat conscious of what would be offensive to viewers. I say this bc three years later, theyve grown ALOT and I have no problem watching any Dan-era episodes or any J*ntron episodes within the past 2 years. People need to keep this in mind before they callout; they have changed so much since theyve first started and while they arent perfect, im extremely grateful that theyve made such good progress.

God this is lengthy, but i felt like i had to explain myself before I list why i dont think Arin was being a racist prick in todays mario maker.

To start this off, Dan didnt even have to bring up the commercial, it was in bad taste anyway so before we all fucking throttle Arins neck think about that.

Dan wanted to share this story but he wanted to do it in the least offensive way possible. Which is already a task. He specifically said he didnt want to say the n word, even if it was for the sake of storytelling m, bc that shit couldve been taken out of context. And hes right! No one wants to have that shit out there in the open. When Arin responds, he matter of factly states that hes used the term before. Of course Dan laughs like 'ha, good for YOU but im not cool w that’

But i honest to god believe with every fiber of my being that he meant nothing by that? People have said that he was boasting about it but i honestly cant believe that, especially after hearing the sound clip. Like i firmly believe he was just trying to contribute to the conversation. 'Oh i dont wanna say the word bc people will have a sound clip they can misuse.’ 'Oh, ive actually said that word years ago so technically people have a sound clip of me saying it.’ Like he just states a fact. Its true! If someone wants to make a sound clip, they can do it and noone can stop him. I dont think he was proud of saying it but he wasnt deeply ashamed of saying it either? Before people try to paint his pale ass like hes a saint.

I think… what matters is that he knows that that shit isnt acceptable anymore… Hes said it in the past but theres no way he can go back in time to stop him from saying and i think he feels the same way about that. But its not in a remorseful 'oh god i wish i hadnt said that, i was so immature’ but more like ’ no amount of me feeling bad about it is gonna change anything and make it better so im just not gonna care. I know better now so im just gonna make sure from now on im not gonna do it’. Its always a touchy subject when he talks about jokes. Theres such a thin t h i n line between trying to tell a funny joke and telling a joke thats extremely offensive. Its like practically nonexistent and the more he treads on this line the more likely somethjng will slip like what happened today.

This is long, and confusing and complicated but i hope this somewhat explains why im not freaking out over this. Im in no way trying to speak for all black people who watch gg. We all have a very legitimate reason for being pissed off and if someone decides that they arent worth the trouble anymore then thats their prerogative. They have absolutely every right to no longer watch them or contribute to the fandom any longer and anyone who thinks theyre overreacting should be ashamed of themselves. Youre in no position to decide who should and shouldnt be hurt by his words.

I just, wanted to give a reason as to why I PERSONALLY will keep watching him. Hes a sweetheart, hes got a wonderful personality and he cares about his circle of friends SO much. He hates all kinds of jerks (real and online) and he truly believes that theres too much hate in the world to feel the need to contribute to it. He likes to make people laugh and he genuinely cares about the people who look up to him. He divulged a wonderful story about being bi ( or at least his first bi experience ) and he supports all kinds of artists. His literal advice was to just be kind and put out work. ..

I dunno.

No amount of disclaimers is gonna stop people from messaging me lmao but there u go