but if life were only moments then you'd never know you had one!

anonymous asked:

dicta do you have any larry fic recs? nothing specific but just any fic that you loved a lot? thank you, your opinion on fics means a lot to me, and i feel like you'd probably know the really good ones!

Oh my gosh anon I love the wording of this ask so much. I’ve been meaning to make a larry rec list for going on a year but it just feels so official/overwhelming? But this, fic I loved a lot??? I can absolutely do that!!! and aaaaah there are SO MANY!!! I am not as organized about larry fic as drarry fic so this is, basically, like, a list of fics that stuck in my brain and/or heart and that are all so so good. SO GOOD! (and tbh there’s a whole other list of stuff that i’d rec but would want to reread before attempting commentary, and I have so many things marked for later and like….yeah….there’s a lot of good fic out there) And really, what better rec is there than “this is a fic that stuck in my brain and/or heart”?? Everyone should read them all!!

an act of faith against the night by @elianefics- M, 65k - It’s a clear path, drawing itself in Harry’s mind – where they began, how they ended up here. It’s not hard to convey all the events that led them to this very moment, with all of their twists and turns, not when Harry has been going through them again and again every night, albeit searching for something else.  “Did you know?” When Harry replies, it’s a question, not an answer. “Did you know, that it would end like this?” [Harry and Louis had never imagined that, when they would finally go back to New York, it would be as spies.] (part two of the landscapes of war series)

  • The war from ‘a prayer for which no words exist’ (recced below!) is over, or at least as over as war can be for the people who were there, which is to say….not all that over, just taking different shape. I have endless love for the way this fic treats that aftermath, the way it shows how deeply and irreversibly harry and Louis were shaped by being fighters, and it is a stunning mix of beautiful prose and important ethical questions. It also does some really fascinating meta work with Simon Cowell, the Azoffs, and the Cordens taking on central roles in the post-war nation-building project. It’s a lot for one fic to do, and this one manages it beautifully, and throws in some more beautiful NYC cityscapes, heartaching and conflicted nostalgia, and taut but unwavering H/L love, you know, just for good measure.

another hazy may by deLILAh - M, 41k - louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

  • It’s been over a year since I’ve properly read this all the way and I can still see parts of it as vividly as if it had been last night. Harry’s hair, cigarette smoke curling upwards, hardwood floors, the rhythm of Harry’s feet as he runs to stay in shape for the job that will take him away from Louis, the feeling of seconds slipping away, and each of them more precious for being so few in number. This is one of those fics that made me nostalgic for somewhere I’d never been - except who hasn’t felt as though time was moving simultaneously quickly and too slowly, as though there is something precious that could fall apart at any second? And that’s one of many things this fic does beautifully: gives us the universality of their story, and reminding us of our own.

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart by @conscious–ramblings - M, 19k - Louis and Harry had been childhood best friends, but had been separated by evacuation as the city they grew up in was destroyed around them. Now, twelve years later, they are both back in London, and through chance they meet again. In a time when you can’t admit to being gay, for fear of arrest, admitting to your best friend that you love them seems like an insurmountable obstacle.Featuring boxer Harry and mechanic Louis, much pining, and a lot of post war Britain

  • There’s often a moment in fic where they’re trying to figure out if the other one is gay and/or available, that’s full of a certain kind of tentative hope because there’s some kind of attraction there and what if, what if it was everything they think it might be? This fic takes that to 11 in the most meaningful way, because it’s the 40s, and being gay is a crime, and it’s not a question of whether they’re reading the right signals - neither of them can afford to send any - but of trying to accept that it could never, can never be. Set against absolutely simmering chemistry (the moment Louis first sees Harry in the ring is a thing I’m still not over) and wonderful research and settings (loved the feel of it, the way it all came to life, how present the remnants of the war were as they went about their lives) and fab secondary characters (Niall is a gem, and Liam is so how I think of him, and really everyone was just perfect) and this incredible click where you can feel the ease and understanding between them, feel the sense that they are destined and absolutely belong together…it takes that tension and longing, already at an 11, to a 12, and the ending is cathartic and beautiful and means so much more for knowing how rare and lucky and precious that moment is, and how much they’re willing to risk, and how it’s kinds of risk that are sometimes very specific to being queer in a moment when it’s illegal and how many of them are universal, and how incredible and enormous and moving a thing it is when both kinds of risk pay off.

Don’t Look Down by zarah5 - M, 92k - AU. In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

  • Harry is unbelievably charming here, and it makes total sense that Louis falls for him, and as the story unfolds the clarity and meaningfulness of their connection gets more and more apparent even as Louis is fighting it tooth and nail. But it’s not miscommunication and it’s not self-loathing, it’s that Louis’ reasons are genuinely thoughtful and important (professional ethics!!!!!! With real implications!!!!) and that they’re genuinely in a difficult position and can’t be together without betraying things that mean a lot to both of them, which made me love this version of him even more and root for them that much harder. And I was already rooting for them pretty damn hard. They fit together beautifully from the first, understand each other on so many levels, are drawn together just magically…and then there are these beautiful moments (Venice omg) and heart-wrenching moments (after that dinner and that one morning and then that other one omg) and hold-your-breath moments (what is Louis gonna dooooo) and heart-pounding momebts, and I could not put it down.

Fake you’re full and feel tomorrow by theglitterbee - NC-17, 21k - Louis is a high class prostitute and the best at what he does. Harry is a hard to please 17 year old who wants to give himself completely to another man. [It contains prostitution, d/s, daddy kink, silly banter and two idiots in love.](The one with the text messages.)

  • listen this is gonna sound like a weird rec but bear with me. this fic was one of the first 1d fics I read, and on face is almost entirely made of things i don’t like, and yet, here it is. It did that alchemical thing where it just worked and it did all these things really well - like daddy kink was 100% squick for me before this and it’s still like 80% squick but this fic explained it in such a way that i got it and could understand it and see why it worked for them and what it meant for them and that psychology made it work (and made me get why it was hot? which is pretty massive for something in the squick category). and i was hesitant about their ages but it wound up being (i think not unrealistically) part of a fundamental kind of self-discovery that was part of why things between them felt so critical and important. and i was v skeptical about social media stuff in fic but this one did it so well that i got it and felt like it really enriched the story and showed a particular kind of progress and dynamic in their interactions that needed to be done that way (and wound up being really cool and impressive). and i was nervous about the potential for the dynamics to not work but they are both full people who needed each other in this very specific way and fit together beautifully and it did some of the best stuff kink fics do imo, where the kink reveals something about who they are and what they need and why they work and who they are individually and together, and so here we are, a fic with tags i wouldn’t usually touch, reccing away and considering a reread. this kind of rec can be kind of ~, i know, but the tl;dr is that this fic is so good it overcame every hesitation and left me totally engaged and impressed and invested.

Hold Me Closer by balanceds - NC-17, 36.5k - Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company’s history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

  • I was so surprised when I looked up the word count for this bc I would have sworn it was at least twice as longc there is so much story, and so much development, and so many moments that stick that. Watching Louis come to terms with who he was as a dancer and and person was this beautiful process that was so rewarding to read, and it was unusual and fresh in this way I really want to talk about but really don’t want to spoil. Along the way there is spectacular chemistry, zayn and Louis taking on gay swan lake, so much yearning and despair and happiness and reckoning and growth, an amazing and deeply satisfying Simon moment, and one of those h/l relationships where they make each other strong.

like a boomerang by @youwilll- M, 52k - AU in which Harry gets trapped in a lift, Louis gets stuck in a Wednesday, and it’s always February 2nd. Until it isn’t.

  • This fic is so so utterly charming in like nine different ways. Harry and Louis slot together so beautifully you can practically hear the click, and then they do it again and again and somehow every time feels fresh and important, and through it all the stakes get bigger as Louis contemplates the meaning of their repeated day and all of these deep questions sneak in, and a bit of a mystery, and a bunch of self-discovery, and a bunch of personal growth as Louis learns and thinks, really thinks, about what he needs to do, and realizes how willing he is to do it. It was so perfectly balanced between being gentle and exciting, between destiny and action, between grand gestures and quiet moments, and it settled like a warm blanket and I looked forward to every chapter so much.  And then, at the end…it was one of those stories that made me want to add and place to my travel list because the relevant moments are so well located and satisfying that you just want to be there, and it captured this particular instant - the way it wound sound and smell and how the air would feel and the electricity of it - so vividly. Lovely through and through.

Love Is A Human Right by @conscious–ramblings- M, 41k - The one where Louis has spent years getting over his ex, Harry Styles, and was almost successful. That is until Harry is elected as an MP, and Louis is given the task of getting him to support an Act of Parliament. Through tears and arguments and a heavy dose of LGBTQ+ politics, their lives finally line up. Will Louis be able to forgive? Will they still want the same thing? It’s difficult to let go of five years of hurt, but even more difficult to be close to the love of your life and let them walk away again.

  • This fic is basically everything I want in a fic, but together so amazingly well that I would never be able to put into a prompt because it’s the *how* that makes it so perfect. I mean, politics, check, LGBTQ politics, check, larry, check, vivid settings, check, emotional stakes, check, pining, check, everything, check. But the kicker is the beautiful complexity to all of it, that the story really truly understands the complexity of coming out and why people  do and why they don’t and what it mean and how it works and the ways it plays out in queer communities, and these gay leads aren’t incidentally gay, but engaged in identity and politics in a way that feels true and resonant, and that manages to both say really important things about queer communities and tell a beautiful love story about coming to terms with who you are and what you stand for and how love shapes (but doesn’t always determine, and I love that about this fic too) your priorities. Then add some simmering UST and simmering RST (hot damn i mean really) and viscerally, deliciously painful pining and hilarious side plots (SGIL!! Ziam!! Nick’s guessing games!!) and a background story that had my heart twisting for them from the first and settings that felt so real they were popping back into my head for weeks and just…superb. Superb.

a prayer for which no words exist by @elianefics - M, 65k - “Louis is a few seconds away from blowing up a rather important section of the New York subway when he sees Harry for the first time.” (part one of the landscapes of war series)

  • War!AU in NYC! Another one that I will admit fit my interests beautifully but it’s the execution that makes it work so beautifully. From the second they meet, there’s an urgency and fragility to Harry and Louis’ relationship that is a perfect fit for the politics and the newness of it all. At the same time, their connection is so certain and solid, and whether they’re waking up in the Brooklyn penthouse loft that I am still not over or getting ready to run into battle, their love casts everything else into relief and brings out some of he human consequences to why people fight and what they have to gain or lose, and shows what all they’re risking. Left me breathless in the best ways, and so glad to have gone on this journey.

Pull Me Under by zarah5 - NC-17, 140k - AU. As the first British footballer to come out at the prime of his career,  it helps that Louis Tomlinson is in a long-term, committed  relationship. Even if that relationship is fake. (Featuring Niall as Louis’ favourite teammate, Liam as Louis’ agent, and Zayn as Liam’s boyfriend, who just happens to be good friends with one Harry Styles.)

  • This was the fic that tipped me right over the precipice and properly into the fandom; how could I not rec it? Even if I wasn’t personally attached, how could I not rec it? It’s so bloody beautiful, watching Louis come to terms with the idea of being out, and to take steps towards it, and to see how his interactions with Harry change that and what develops between them. The pacing is amazing, the depiction of internalized homophobia is chest-tightening in the good illustrative moving way, the world is so immersive (like I went to get the link and 20 minutes later I was still reading and totally entranced), and their relationship 100% made my heart sing, in both the big triumphant moments and the little ones.

things have gotten closer to the sun by starseas - M, 49k - it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.-when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

  • I’m not even entirely sure what to say about this fic that won’t give it away or send people running because here’s the thing: it is heartbreaking. It is worth it. It is sad, yes. It is also exhilarating and beautiful and about why love, platonic and romantic, makes the risks worthwhile, and how we know, viscerally know what is important to us. Real talk pt. 1: read it because I had terrible pms and really needed to cry. Real talk pt. 2: it worked, in that very particular way thar also made me sit and think about who and what is really important and had me sobbing in the best, most cathartic way. That lasting, deep way that’s making my chest a little tight just thinking about it, but that also means that I can smell the snow and feel the frost and see the brilliance of the sun and feel the boys’ love as - more - constant than the sun, and what the heck else could you ask for?

These Inconvenient Fireworks by mdasch and everydayslike - NC-17, 190k - Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall.

  • this is one of the top ten most affecting things i have ever read in my life. i don’t know how. i don’t know why. i do know that i couldn’t put it down for days and wound up finishing it in a blanket fort on a friend’s couch at 4am, literally doing that feet-kicking thing where you’re so full of feelings you can’t actually physically contain it but have to be quiet and still because the rest of the world is asleep during your emotional revelation. it restored my faith in love and hope. i am still not recovered from the thing on the soccer field at night before the train or the star tattoo or harry taking picture after picture or basically anything about it. clear your calendar if you have to but read this fic and then pls come talk to me about it because like i said i am deeply affected and possibly forever changed.

walk my days on a wire by sunshiner - M, 38.5k - Harry hums, staring at his hands in his lap, and Louis can still feel their smoothness, how solid they were in between his own. “Do you think it’s the same for us? Are we here only because of the likeliness of our jobs? Of our lives?”
“We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I’d be in the same spot in every possible universe.  or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.

  • There’s this one moment in Cannes when they kiss and I both really want to talk about it bc it is amazing and really would not dream of talking about bc you have to go read it yourself. So like the summary suggests, they’re in a fake relationship, and they know that that’s what it’s supposed to be, but of course - of course - there’s more to it than that. Like instantly more in this way that you can feel rolling off the screen, that is about sexual chemistry but also a certain kind of very precious fitting together. Watching them see themselves through each others eyes is beautiful, as is seeing how much it means to them to have someone else who understands the pressured of this rarefied, panopticonic world of celebrity, and who loves and validates the ott celeb performer and the human underneath the facade. It’s interesting to read in the context of this fandom, and entirely universal at the same time - who doesn’t want a partner who can love them at their most extreme and most mundane, most accomplished and most afraid, right in the middle of a stadium or right in the middle of taking up the whole damn bed?

whispering of fields half-sown by @elianefics- PG-13, 7k - “And how ironic is it that even now, at the end of all things, Louis’ mere presence makes Harry want to believe that anything is possible again. That the earth isn’t close to collapsing on itself, that the tomorrows are bright and shining and full of promises. Harry hates Louis for giving him something to look forward to when the sky only keeps getting darker. Harry loves Louis for it. ”[All of his boys come back to him in the end, but it’s Louis, Harry has been waiting for all this time.]

  • heartbreaking, lush, moving apocalypse!fic wherein it is absolutely the case that through fire and water and earthquakes and ice, there is one person Harry needs by his side. There’s Liam and Niall and Zayn, too, and what it would mean for all of them to say goodbye, really goodbye, who they all are and what those friendships mean. And Louis. Oh, Louis. My eyes got mysteriously damp in the really good way, and it made me want to sit down and write just to make words like this. The conversation at the end of this stayed with me like whoa, and my chest is getting a little tight thinking about it again. That may make some people want to X it off the list; think twice before you do. This is worth it.

Young & Beautiful by velvetoscar - M, 227.5k - Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

  • absolutely beautiful. so vivid i dreamt about it and then went and got a whole bunch of flowers and spent a while wandering around in fancy clothes just because it felt as though i was already living in the story so why not? And how could you not want to be part of this world that is complex and nuanced and subtle and gorgeous (which is not a way i expected to feel about a fic about rich kids btw but this fic makes them so full and the story so engaging that it happened and not only a little). Dimensional characters, wonderful tension, simmering slow burn, complexity, believable and complex psychological motivations,  theme parties, a falcon named cleopatrick, long nights, loaded touches, meaningful subplots, love, resilience. The only possible complaint is it made me want a champagne fountain, and that is not any sort of complaint at all. (lmk if you have a champagne fountain though, it’s been a few weeks and i am really still about wanting to live inside this fic, and also champagne)

anonymous asked:

I was wondering if you'd consider doing a continuation of the previously meeting Andreil prompt?? It's so amazing! ❤️❤️

oh look i was garbage again and took like two weeks to write this but anyways here u go!!!!

This is a continuation of this prompt!


When Neil arrived at the South Carolina Airport his lungs felt like they could properly expand for the first time in months.  Like a rib he didn’t even know that he had broken had miraculously healed.

Neil had always secretly liked airports.  While the risks of flying on falsified information were concerning, the constant unfamiliarity of changing flights and passengers warring against the ever familiar feel of routine was comforting to a boy whose life seemed to always echo that exact sentiment.  Neil’s life had always repeated the same pattern: land in a place, stay only long enough that maybe one or two people would recognize him, and then get the hell out on the next available flight.  Maybe airports were comforting because they were the closest thing to a constant Neil had.

The feeling of eyes following him across the arrivals area unsettled Neil deeply.  He forced himself to look up rather than ducking his head and running; like every one of his instincts were screaming to do.

“Josten,” Andrew said in way of greeting.  Neil’s eyes tracked over his jawline, taking notice of how, like with so much more of Andrew, it had sharpened since they were younger.   Andrew’s own eyes looked Neil over slowly like a golden syrup reminiscent of how Andrew’s eyes were thickly coloured.

“I see you still have that God awful duffel bag,” Andrew continued, “Anything else?”

Neil shook his head. “Just this.”  Andrew nodded and took off walking towards the exit, expecting Neil to follow.  Even after so many years Andrew was still predictable.

But apparently so was Neil since he followed him out the door.  

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anonymous asked:

"-and she makes Alex so happy, so how could I hate her?" A pause "you'd like her...or would you? How can I know what you feel? Are you proud of me? Do I disappoint you? Am I a disappointment? Or Maggie hears Kara talking to her AI mother

I don’t know if this is what you were looking for, but here you go:

She took a wrong turn somewhere, she’s sure of it. The hallway she walks down doesn’t look at all familiar, and she knows she should probably call Alex to come find her, but part of her is convinced that she’ll find something really fucking cool if she explores for a bit.

But after wandering for a bit longer, and hearing roars, yells, and various screeches coming from deep inside the building, Maggie Sawyer thinks that maybe she should leave the exploring for when she was with her girlfriend and her fancy space-gun. She’s got her phone out, ready to dial when she hears a familiar voice.

Maggie walks towards the open door at the end of the corridor, following the faint sound of Kara. She stands in the doorway, and realises just a bit too late that maybe she shouldn’t be listening to this conversation.

“-and she makes Alex so so happy, so how could I hate her?”

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that,” comes the reply from a woman Maggie’s never seen before. Kara laughs mirthlessly.

“It was rhetorical, Mom.” Maggie frowns, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She was certain that Kara was sent here alone, her and Clark the only survivors of Krypton. So how was Kara talking to her mother.

“I think you’d like her, too. Maggie, I mean. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Smart and scrappy and she keeps Alex grounded, which is funny because I always thought Alex kept me grounded. Now I think maybe it’s the opposite. I pull Alex along into all this madness, and she needs someone to keep her sane. I don’t know. What do you think?“

“I’m afraid I cannot answer that,” the woman replies again.

“I’m starting to think that maybe I was the worst thing to happen to Alex,” Kara whispers, and her voice cracks just enough for Maggie to hear it, just enough to break Maggie’s heart. “She’d have a great life without me, with Eliza and Jeremiah. And she’d have Maggie. Who you’d like. Or not. I don’t know. I don’t really know you, do I?”

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lucario2012  asked:

So, something that never made much sense to me was how morphing works with age? Like, they're morphing whatever-age animals and that's perfectly fine, mostly. Then you have Ax and Tobias's human forms. Either A: Morphs age over time, in which case the kids should have had to get new bug morphs every few months or so, or B: They don't age, in which case Ax and Tobias's human forms are just perpetually 13-ish while the others go through puberty, which you'd think would be commented on. Thoughts?

Although it’s subtle, and only really comes up in the context of Tobias, I’m pretty sure that the morphs age more the more they’re used.  In the opening of #33 there’s a whole scene where Rachel shows Tobias a bulletin board at their school with information on raptors’ life spans, and both of them seem to assume that that will be how long he’ll live unless he goes human long-term.  It’s not 100% consistent, sure, because then there are questions about whether their morphs are also getting old and dying (especially the bug ones) over the course of the series, but I’m almost certain that Tobias’s hawk form ages three years over the three years of the series and that his human form ages three years.  

There are a couple reasons I think this.  In MM3, Tobias pops up at Princeton University—and promptly morphs human, grabs some books, steals outer clothes, and goes off to class.  That moment is revealing for a couple different reasons.  The first is that Tobias successfully blends in with the student body, and not just (as he notes) because 100% of Princeton students were white males at the time; presumably he’s old enough to pass for 18.  We don’t know how old he is or appears to be at the time, but we know that he started fighting the war at age 13 and ended it at 16—and 16-year-olds can pass for 18 a hell of a lot better than 13-year-olds can, because of a little thing called puberty that tends to happen in the middle.  The other interesting thing about that moment is that Tobias is worrried that the only thing which will give him away is his hair, which has gotten long.  So maybe he just had messy hair in #1 when he got stuck in morph, but it seems more likely that his hair is growing, which again suggests his human shape is aging.  

The other reason I believe that Tobias is probably aging as a human is that throughout the series there are a lot of moments (#29, #35, #44) where he and Rachel go on dates in public together.  (The fact that Jake and Cassie never do this, but only ever seem to spend their time together shoveling manure or doing other chores, also goes on the list of Fascinating Details That Make This Series Feel Real, but I digress.) This is an eeeensy bit of a leap on my part, but the fact that no one ever calls Rachel on being an outward 16-year-old dating an outward 13-year-old (have I mentioned the DRAMATIC difference those three years tend to make in most teens’ appearance?) tends to argue to me that they aren’t visibly different in age.

Tobias’s hawk form is almost certainly aging because he, like Rachel, seems to assume he’s going to die of old age unless he goes permanently human again.  He discusses the fact that he’s effectively shortened his own lifespan in the opening to #43 when he tries to justify his decision to go nothlit to imaginary-Taylor, and in #54 he says, “Marco, you’re not even twenty… I’m old, for a red-tail.”  The horrifying implication that our precious emohawk is probably going to let himself die of old age rather than rejoining human society aside, that suggests that he’s been aging in hawk years this whole time.  

Ax and the question of aging as a human is more ambiguous.  People are less likely to comment on his age, and many of them (#18 and the CinnaBon manager, #33 and the banquet caterers, #35 and the waitstaff) tend to treat Ax as much younger than he is, presumably because he’s so freakin’ clueless about human social norms.  There are several moments (#8, #22, #43, #38) where people ask him where his parents are, whether he’s got someone helping him, and whether he’s starving.  That last one is pretty self-evident given the way he eats everything in sight, but the other two might be because random strangers (like Jake’s parents) tend to think human-Ax is mentally ill… or it might be because Ax’s human morph is not aging, because Tobias’s human morph is the only morph that ages when it’s not actively in use.  

And here’s where I start to venture into the land of Extremely Wild Speculation, where I could be as wrong as Humphrey Belcher and his cheese cauldron (X).  However, my current hypothesis when reading the series is that morphs don’t age unless they’re in use—except for Tobias’s human shape.  As you mentioned, the kids don’t need new bug morphs every month, and Cassie’s wolf shape doesn’t show signs of aging the way most adult wolves would if they lived hard for three years.  There are many mentions of the DNA-acquiring process being a matter of creating a copy of the animal at the time of acquisition, but it’s a possibility that the morphs are developing (which probably totals to AT MOST a couple days’ worth of aging over the entire war), up to and including Ax’s copy of the other kids.  That would explain Tobias’s aging in hawk years after he gets stuck, Cassie’s aging as a caterpillar after she gets stuck, the fact that the kids don’t need new versions of morphs that they only use for a few hours at a time every couple of days… Everything except the fact that Tobias’s hair grows.  

So what if the Ellimist pulled something hinky?  Tobias already isn’t supposed to exist—he’s in a universe where Elfangor never lived on Earth and never knocked up Loren, within another paradox where Loren and Chapman have aged forward and not been killed in space, within another paradox where he acquired his own DNA by traveling back in time, within what is arguably a paradox with Ket Halpek and Jara Hamee finding him through teleportation.  What’s one more impossibility on top of that?  (Of course, I have my own Big Damn Theory that explains that.)  To me, that’s the version of Da Rules that makes the most sense given the evidence we have: morphs don’t age unless they’re in use… except Tobias’s human shape, because Ellimist.  

FIC: Practicality, Revisited

Fandom: Critical Role
Pairing: Kima/Allura
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,626
Summary: In the fifteen years since their travels together, the distance between Kima and Allura has widened. Somehow, the Underdark helps to close the gap.
Also on: AO3
Notes: For Critical Role Relationship Week. The random generator was very kind to me for the first day. :) My interpretation of the re-kindling of Kima and Allura’s relationship, taking place around episode 14.

Kima hangs back, behind her—ugh—rescuers. This is certainly not the way she imagined her next visit to Allura. Well, it never is. She always imagines that she’ll stroll in, armor gleaming—at least she got that much right—nonchalant, the trouble vanquished, nothing can keep Kima down, certainly not. It falls short every damn time.

More fool her, that she could think to match Allura’s grace, her poise. As the years have worn on, she’s only gotten further from it.

“We’ve brought you a present,” Vax says, and Kima grits her teeth at the humiliation of it.

These feelings of resentment, though, they don’t last long when the people in front of her move aside and the sun shines—as it always has—on Allura: lingering golden in her half-braided hair, picking out the clear seawater blue of her eyes. It is always this moment when Kima feels, like a sword to the belly, the pain of missing her. Always pushed down, muffled, while they’re apart, it rises to the forefront when they’re thrust together again. Even here, with barely an arm’s reach between them, they still might as well be an ocean apart.

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One of Us

Summary: Being Bruce’s S/O and having your first family dinner at the manor. Major fluff.

Warnings: None

A/N: Thanks to all the great writers out there who inspired me to get back to something I love and start writing my own fics. I tagged a few of you below. I wanted to tag all of you, but I’d be here all night.

Word Count: 1,492

You and Bruce have been dating for almost a year when he invited you to dinner at the manor to officially meet the whole family. He had told you about his adopted children and his one biological child early on in the relationship. In fact, it’s one of the things that attracted you to him. It had come up casually in a conversation between you two on your first date. When you asked him to tell you more about his kids, he had lit up like a Christmas tree. He’d bragged about his kids for a good hour or so. When you'd asked him if he had pictures, he’d happily pulled out his wallet stuffed with family photos and stills of milestone moments. Even though you two got pretty close fairly quickly, he hadn’t introduced you to the family yet. You had agreed that it was best to wait till you were both sure this relationship was going to last.

When he’d called to invite you to dinner at the manor, you’d thought it was just another date night. He loved taking you out and showing you off, and you loved the opportunity to get dressed up. But your favorite dates were quiet nights in at the manor, where you could both be yourselves, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

“Good morning, darling. Alfred’s making a special dinner tonight. Can you come over?”

“Of course, Babe. What time?”

“I’ll pick you up at 6. Dinner will probably be around 7.”

“Oh. Why don’t I just drive and meet you there?” That’s what you usually did. You liked having your car there so you didn’t have to spend the night. You had made it clear to Bruce from the beginning that you were saving yourself for marriage, and sometimes it was just too tempting if you had to spend the night.

“Well, I, uh…”


“The family will be at dinner tonight. I think it’s time they met you. That is, if you think you’re ready”

This was part of what you loved about Bruce. You knew this was important to him, yet he was more concerned with your comfort. “Of course I’ll meet your family. At this point you’ve told me so much about them I feel like I know them already.” You smile into the phone.

“Well, I just want you to be prepared. They can be a handful when they’re by themselves. All together they can be a bit….”

“Babe. How bad can they be? I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Great. I’ll see you at six.” You chuckled at the obvious excitement inhis voice.

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Driving Lessons

This little thing was inspired by something a friend said. Set in season 11, sort of. Daddy!Mulder story, some fluff. To make up for the angst yesterday. 

“We can take Scully’s – I mean Dana’s car. You can drive to the grocery store and-” Mulder mentally ticks off items of his list. He, unlike Scully, is not used to this. Not only has to make sure he’s packed everything he needs, no, he has to make sure this child – their son – is well taken care of in the few days they’ll be gone. This is the first out of town case since Will came to stay with them and for some reason all the responsibility lies with him this time. Scully should have figured this was a bad idea.

“But… I don’t know how to drive.” Will, a tall, lanky boy with reddish brown hair, Scully’s eyes and nose, stares up at him, shyly. He’s trying to brush away a few strands of hair that fall into his eyes making him blink furiously. Boy needs a haircut, Mulder thinks. He has so many things to learn, he realizes and sighs, making Will squirm.

“Sorry, I never – my parents – I mean my…” Now it’s Will who sighs in frustration. Mulder, and not for the first time, wonders if the boy is too old to be pulled into a hug. Or if Mulder is still too much of a stranger to do it.

“I thought with growing up on a farm that maybe you'd…”

“I just turned 16,” Will reminds him as if his birthday was something Mulder could have forgotten two days after it happened, “and there never was… with the disease no one and uhm, then I got here and you didn’t uhm. Yeah.”

“So you don’t know how to drive?”


“That's… bad.” Will chuckles and nods. Mulder’s mental list goes up in flames; they need a new plan. He considers calling Scully, but knowing her she would call the whole thing off if William has no means of transportation when they’re gone. She didn’t want to take the case in the first place. They need to take it, though. They haven’t told Will yet, but it concerns his late parents. They need to do this.

“I’ll call Skinner and ask him to take you in. You can bring your bike to his place and-”

“What about Daggoo?” That damn dog. Sleeping there in the corner, his ears twitching as if having heard his name.

“Well…” That’s another problem.

“You said I could stay here.” Sometimes, even at 16 years old, William still sounds like a little boy. Right after they took him in, after the demise of his adoptive parents, Scully told him that Will, his son, could pout just as well as he could. Usually they both knew how to work that pout to their advantage. Seeing it now, coupled with Scully’s eyes, Mulder knows he’d do anything the kid asked him to do.

“I did, yeah. This is just really…”

“Bad, yeah. You said that. I’m sure there’s enough food here anyway.”

“What if there’s an emergency?”

“I could take the bike. The next neighbors are only 7 miles away.” Only 7 miles. Mulder is pretty sure that was one of the reasons why he wanted this house so badly when they moved here. The next neighbors are 7 miles away, Scully, we have all of this to ourselves. That was before they had their son back. Before there were more people – and a dog – to consider.

“That’s crazy, Will.” And just like that Mulder has an idea. It’s crazy, yes, and Scully would never approve, no, but he won’t tell her. Neither will Will, he is sure of it.

“You have an idea, don’t you?” The boy asks warily but unable to keep his lips from going upwards in a smile.

“I do, my son. I do.”


Mulder hardly ever tells her so but Scully is not a good driver. She drives too fast, she is prone to road rage and she can’t parallel park for the life of her. Their son, it turns out, takes after her in that respect.

“Just hit the pedal carefully, Will.” Mulder tells him in an even voice, his ears ringing. He’s going to have whiplash if Will brakes like that ever again and then he’ll have to tell Scully about this. He’ll have to anyway eventually but he’d prefer not to do if before a four hour flight.

“I thought I did.” The boy’s tongue peeks out in full concentration as he holds the wheel in a death grip. He puts his foot down on the gas pedal and the car jumps a little. Will grumbles something unintelligibly and tries again. This time the car rolls very carefully.

“Ha!” Mulder claps his hand together. “You did it, Will! That’s it!” The boy grins and the car moves faster.

“Take a turn there,” Mulder tells him, “Don’t forget to use the blinker.”

“There’s no one here.”

“Don’t forget to use the blinker.” Mulder repeats and a moment later the soft clucking of the blinker can be heard as Will rounds the corner on a deserted road.

“This is fun.” Will tells him and if there’s one thing Mulder has learned about his son in the months he’s come to live with them it’s that he can’t lie. If the boy hates something, it’s written on his face in bold letters, sung in every syllable of his words.

“You still need to take Driver’s Ed, you know.”

“I know. You think Dana will let me drive her car?” Of course Scully has the better car. Mulder’s is old; the FBI refused to give him a new one. Which, with his track record, makes sense.

“Once you have your license, sure.”

“Nice. We should listen to some music.”

“No, Will. Concentrate on the road.” A small huff but Will does as he’s told. He’s a good kid and Mulder thanks whatever deity that his son grew up like this; safe and loved.

“Oh we’re back already.” Will sounds disappointed as he brings the car to a stop. He turns to Mulder, a bright sparkle in his eyes. “Can we go again? Please? Just one more time?” Mulder knows he needs to pack. Where is your tooth brush, Mulder? Why do you always forget to pack your tooth brush? He can hear Scully already; if it’s not his tooth brush, it’ll be something else. He should take care of all the other things Scully told him about while she’s in the city terminating the lease for her apartment finally. But this is the first time he’s taught his son something; his son now knows how to start a car, drive without crashing into a tree and then park – also without crashing into anything else. Just because of him. Because he taught him how to drive.

“Sure, Will. One more time.”

Will starts the car and hits the gas pedal; gently this time and Mulder wonders if maybe, after all, the kid takes after both of them.

anonymous asked:

How would you write Dean Winchester (or an excuse to write everything you love about him)? It's for a fic, and I trust you're one of the best sources for his psyche. I know you're busy so just take your time. Besides, even I am busy.

Good evening lovely anon,

I definitely jump on any “excuse” to write about Dean. ;) Though I personally have only written like… maybe three one shots ever, if I was to write a story set in the SPN universe, I would write Dean the way we know him from the show, meaning “canon”!Dean, because that is the Dean I care about, the Dean I fell in love with.

It’s the Dean Winchester with all of his flaws, his fears, his talents, his nerdiness and most of all his big heart, that I’d write about and that I’d want to incorporate and highlight in my story, because to me the most interesting and beautiful thing about Dean as a fictional character is his complexity. What we see of him on screen is the sum of everything he’s been through and despite all the tragedy, hurt and loss that he experienced he is still standing, still fighting.

I wouldn’t want to change a thing about Dean. Well, almost… I wished that he would see himself a tiny bit as the person he truly is - and that person isn’t “a monster” or “a burden” or “poison” as he thinks - but a man that has lost his childhood way too early, was forced to grow up much too fast and had to experience and endure traumas in amounts no one ever should have to. Yes, I wished Dean could see his own self-worth, his importance - and not in a way that shows him as being useful for others, but in a way that makes him recognize his own inherent goodness, how selfless he is.

And while I find it incredibly important for Dean to hopefully at some point down the line and at the end of the show see himself in a positive and much better light than he views himself now, I’d be lying if I said I wanted to erase these character traits, which aren’t beneficial to himself at all. Because if these aspects of Dean’s character were taken away, just like that, without build up and healing and resolution, Dean essentially wouldn’t be Dean.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than seeing Dean lighthearted, with a bounce to his walk, smiling, laughing, delving into LARPing, getting all nervous when meeting childhood idols or just being silly and playing pranks on his brother, but that’s only one half of the bumper sticker so to speak. Dean is more than that and it’s not the times he is at his strongest and happiest that he inspires me most, it’s when he is struggling, when he is close to hitting rock bottom and despite everything manages to pull through. That is when I love him most (I mean I always love him), but it’s the times when he openly struggles, shows emotion, displays rough edges and at the same time total gentleness and insecurity when I feel Jensen can shine most with his acting as Dean. It’s the small gestures, the small expressions and ultimately half the time the look in his eyes that just speaks volumes without any words needed at all that contribute Dean’s power as a fictional character to speak to people. It’s his ability to defy labels and stereotypes that make him not just real feeling but also almost something like a canvas many people can project something onto and find something to hold on to. That is the reason Dean resonates with so many people. He’s complex, layered, complicated and scarred from life, but in the end his strongest asset has always been his heart, his ability to love.

It’s Dean’s vulnerability that is always hiding in plain sight even when the moment requires him to be or act tough that draws me in, it’s his humility and his way of putting every one else first and making sure theiy’re okay that shows his incredible empathy and care (if only he cared a tiny faction for himself as well) that makes me emotional. It’s the way Dean has been able to preserve some childlike glee even through the horrors of losing his mother, father and his childhood in one night, how he is able to still find reasons to smile despite carrying 40 years of Hell and unbelilvable agony and torture under his belt that is incredible, that show he is a fighter. Despite all he is standing tall.

Dean has lost about every single one he cared about, lost himself even and yet, even though he has trust issues (lord knows, who wouldn’t if he/she had experienced what he experienced), is rather a pessimist (seriously, I can understand why lol) and sometimes close to giving up and drowning his sorrows in alcohol, he always manages to come back around. It’s never easy, never without a price to pay, but ultimately there is one thing that Dean can count on and that are his instincts, his heart, his moral compass. It would guide him anywhere and anytime. It’s his humanity and divnity that makes him unique and beautiful.

So yes, dear anon, all of this and so many more aspects (I really could continue writing 20 more paragraphs, but then again I guess no one would read that lol) are what I’d work into the caracterization of Dean if I planned on writing a Dean focused fic. It would probably also feature a good dose of tragedy, drinking, possibly smoking as well though. *hides*

Anyway, hopefully this wasn’t too disappointing. I suck at writing today. I blame the cold I’m fighting. ;P

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you're still taking requests (and if you're not then pls forgive me omg) but you're my favorite writer on here and I was wondering if you'd do a smutty one where no sexual partner has ever made y/n cum before and good pal Harry thinks he's up to the task? Thank you thank you thank you lots of love. X

Boy should you check out some of the people I follow if you say I’M your favorite! Goodness gracious. Sorry this took a bit, and then I’m sorry it took even longer tonight, because it was supposed to be a quick blurb, but it got… a little overwhelming. Wet Harry and thigh-riding being two very important reasons. Enjoy! x. 

019. Not Fake

“It’s too intimate,” you explain to Harry.

He barks a laugh, still staring at you in disbelief. “Sorry to break it t’yeh, love,” he says dryly. “But that’s the point of it, innit?”

You pull a face and huff at him, adjusting your sunglasses. You’re lounging by the pool on a lounge chair and the sun is beating down on you – a stark change from the gray sleet of London – and Harry’s leaning on the edge of his pool staring at you in disbelief.

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coffee-your-teapot  asked:

Rosvolio prompt: "If I promised you'd never see me again would you kiss me?"

read on ao3

The Royal Guard snuck up on him unceremoniously. One moment he was in the market, fingers trailing over different pieces of fabric, delightedly thinking about how much it would irk his fiance if he had a dress commissioned for her in a color far more interesting than blue, when two men snatched at his arms. “His Grace wishes to speak with you, Signore Montague.” 

Benvolio is sure that his answering smirk can only be described as glib when he replies, “As my sovereign commands.” 

They drag him to the castle with little thought to the sizable crowd hungrily watching the events unfold. 

The prince is awaiting him in his lavish office, reading through missives that Benvolio half suspects are there just to make him appear busy. In truth he harbors little affection for Prince Escalus and always has, though it has no doubt been aggravated by his troublesome behavior regarding Rosaline. Still, the Montague heir has enough respect for decorum to give the other man a slight bow. 

Prince Escalus sets down a letter and nods in greeting, “Montague. Thank you for coming.” 

“Well, this worked best with my schedule.” Benvolio says wryly. His societal respect for propriety only goes so far, after all. 

A more adept leader would start off with some meaningless small talk, try their best to disarm their prey and put them at ease. Benvolio has no doubt it is what the prince’s sister would do. Prince Escalus, however, is not his sister. “I am sure that you are as aware of the chaos in our streets as I am, Montague, as I am also sure that you can clearly see that your engagement to Lady Rosaline has had no effect to calm the masses. The people are crying for blood and it does not appear as though they will stop.” 

Benvolio grits his teeth. “Forgive me, Your Grace, but I am vividly remembering you forcing Rosaline and I into this engagement. Are you now saying that you made a mistake?” 

“Precisely.” Escalus nods vigorously, his dark eyes annoyingly earnest. “I naively thought that I could achieve peace where countless generations of rulers have failed. I understand now that there will never be peace between House Montague and House Capulet, only uneasy coexistence. We must go back to the status quo if Verona is to survive.” 

“And how do you propose that happens? We were bound before God, it would be the greatest sin to turn back on those vows.” His blue eyes narrow as he follows that line of thought. “You would be condemning Rosaline to a life of servitude by reversing your choice.” 

“Oh, I cannot possibly tell the public I regret my decision. A leader must be strong, above all else, and admitting fault at a time like this would be detrimental to my ability to rule Verona.” Escalus explained, apparently perfectly happy with his self-serving reasoning. “No, you will have to flee Verona. Immediately.” 

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The Drunk Angel

An unlikely pair of angels cross paths, a fallen and a rebel, starting a surprising series of events and adventures. After many discussions of our muses, witness @the-vampire-inside-me Abel and my angel Engel meet for the first time in the night streets of Toon Town~

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The Best Gift

Inspired by @lunenn headcanon here:  Headcanon: Scully gave up William with a ufo onesie and the cloth doll Mulder gave her. In season 11 he still keeps that doll like a treasure. @markwatneyandensemble already wrote a brilliant piece HERE and a sequel HERE. The idea wouldn’t leave me alone so I wrote one, too. 

There are only three things in his huge backpack that he’s slung over his shoulder; his favorite book, a photo album and that doll. His mother, Dana, Scully, call me what you feel most comfortable with, looks at him as if he’s going to break any moment; maybe that’s why her hand is always hovering around him somewhere, yet never quite touching him.

“This will be your room,” she tells him, an uncertain smile playing around her lips; the room is sparsely decorated with a bed and a desk, “We, well I, didn’t know what you liked so I thought… you can decorate it any way you want.” Will nods once and steps inside. He sits on the bed, puts down his backpack next to him as if it’s heavy for his still small shoulders. He doesn’t know what to say, or do, so he looks up at Dana, who seems equally lost.

“Uhm, why don’t you unpack? I could make something to eat, maybe. Or we could go visit…,” she licks her bottom lip, stares at the floor, “we could go to the hospital again.” And Will just nods. Dana doesn’t move; what did he just agree to? Will realizes that he should talk, say anything. His mother, the other one, the one he’ll never see again, taught him better than this. Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. She just forgot to tell him how to act around his birth parents. It’s easier with his father, with Mulder, because he does not have any expectations yet. Still in a coma, as Dana explained it, he doesn’t know about Will. The boy prefers it that way. He can spend hours watching the man. The nose looks familiar, the lips do, too, and Will wonders what he’ll see once Mulder wakes up, looks at him.

Will opens the backpack’s zipper and the sound is unbearably loud here in his room. Dana is still standing in the doorway, neither inside nor outside. Carefully Will extracts the book of fairy tales. His cheeks color; he’s 15 years old and he carries a big book of fairy tales around with him. Dana’s eyes are on him, he can feel it, but she’s quiet; just an observer. So Will continues. The photo album is next. He didn’t bring it for himself. All those picture don’t mean much to him; it’s all in his head. His mother never understood it when he said he can see it all like a movie behind his eyes. She’d laughed joyfully (Will thinks he misses her laugh the most; he’s yet to hear Dana laugh, or even giggle), almost always full of happiness and so much love. There’s a picture inside this album, it’s the first one in it, reading “The day we received the greatest gift”. It shows Will, a soft tuft of reddish hair on his head, a fist in his grinning mouth, wearing a ufo onesie. Later, much later, when Will knew he was adopted and he and his mother went through the album together he’d asked her about it. He thought maybe it had been his father, the only one he’d known then, had put him in it. “No, baby, your other mommy put you in this. I don’t know why. It’s an odd choice, isn’t it? But you were so cute in it.” One day, Will thinks, he’ll ask Dana about it. Maybe, after all, it was his father’s choice after all; his other father.

The last item he extracts is the most important one: his doll. He’s had it all his life, held on to it tightly knowing it was the only thing his birth parents had left him. He had slept with it as a baby, as a toddler and even nowadays the doll needs to be close, even if Will won’t admit to it. The doll, it must be old he thinks, is well loved; once an arm was torn off by a friend and Will had cried for hours, until his head hurt and no more tears were left. His mother sewed the arm back on, carefully, and Will now touches the seam gently. He hears a gasp and turns to Dana.

“You still have it.” Her voice is full of amazement as she comes closer, her eyes never leaving the doll. She sits down beside him and they’re almost touching. Will faces her as she reaches out tentatively towards the doll.

“I didn’t think you'd… keep it.” Will glances at the doll. Did she really think he’d let it go? That he’d throw it away once he knew his birth mother had given him up? She doesn’t know him, it shoots through him, and she doesn’t know anything about the life he’s led. Not yet.

“Of course,” he bites his lip and she looks at him, her eyes a mirror of his own, like he’s a miracle; a wonder to behold, “It was all I had… I mean. You know?” She nods, though he is not sure she really understands. He would look at this doll sometimes in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep and wonder about her, about his father, too, and this doll. Why this doll? He had whispered into the night. Not once did he receive an answer.

“When I… when I had to give you up, I wanted you to have something to remember me – us – by. It seems silly now. You were just a baby… but I wanted you to have the doll. You loved it so much and I always felt like you sensed its importance. Your father gave it to me before you were born. It was his sister’s once and… he didn’t tell me until later,” she chuckles, lost in a memory that’s her own, and Will’s ears ring with the new sound as if he’s just discovered his new favorite song, “he made it for her after she broke her arm to cheer her up. He said that… we weren’t really in a good place and uhm, he said he wanted me, and you, to have something that symbolized his love and he… he told me that he spent night after night working on this doll to make it perfect. But there’s more to his doll, William,” she stops here, licks her lips again; he just watches her, every reaction, catalogues it neatly in his mind, “the best gift, apart from you, your father ever gave me was courage. Courage to believe, to follow my heart, to love. That’s why I needed you to have this doll. I hoped… I hoped the doll could give you at least a piece of that when I couldn’t give you anything else. I’m glad you kept it.” She traces the faded face, a sad smile on her lips, and Will can no longer take it. His hand, slightly sweaty, shaking just the tiniest bit, lands on hers, and her head shoots up. Tears swim in her eyes and he, he doesn’t know her well either yet, but he thinks not all of them are sad.

“I’m glad I kept it, too.” Then, without warning, she hugs him tightly, finally, and Will closes his eyes, sighs in relief. He’s home.

anonymous asked:

Idk if you are still taking soulmate prompts?? But if you are, could ya do 5 or 7 for nurseydex??

7. the one where you and your soulmate share an emotional link.

Will has never had a panic attack before, and the first time he does, it hits him like a truck. 

What makes it worse is that it’s not his fucking panic.

He’s seen the research–he knows that it takes incredibly strong emotions for them to actually go through the soulbond link. Prior to actually getting to meet his soulmate, he mostly thinks they both got screwed: he gets sweeps of sadness and emotional numbness so heavy they make him want to sink into the ground and disappear, and his soulmate, he knows, probably gets Will’s waves of anger, the hot and fierce flares of the temper he’s never really learned to control.

When he and Nursey actually meet, the bond flaring to life between them in a spiral of color and feeling so strong it made Will see stars, he still kind of thinks they both got screwed, since his temper and Nursey’s irritability pile up on top of each other and make everything worse. Once they stop fighting and start kissing, though, it gets better.

Except right now, his chest has gotten suddenly tight, and he barely has time to think oh, fuck, Derek before he’s gasping for breath, anxiety rushing through his veins and making his knees buckle. 

“Dex!” Chowder grabs his arm as Will tries to take in air. “Are you okay?”

“I’m,” Will chokes out, groping for his phone. “Fuck. Nursey. Call Nursey, something’s–” He sucks in a breath. “Something’s–wrong.”

His legs feel weak, and Chowder helps him sit down on the steps of the engineering building as he takes his phone, tapping at the screen for a moment before pressing it to his ear. Will tries to focus on breathing, but he feels like the world’s closing in on him.

“Just breathe, Dex, okay?” Chowder’s hand is firm and grounding on his back. “You’re okay, you’re–oh, hi! Holster? Why are you answering Nursey’s–” Will drags his head up, as Chowder cuts off, listening with a worried frown. “Oh. Okay. Okay.” He tightens his grip on Will’s shoulder, even as Will’s chest starts to slowly, slowly loosen, his breathing coming a little easier. “Okay, I’m glad you guys were there. Yeah, we’re gonna come home now. Thanks.” 

He hangs up, looking worriedly at Will, but Will’s breathing again, now, the whirlpool of anxiety slowly fading. “Are you okay?” 

Will nods hesitantly. He feels shaky and shitty, but he can breathe. “What,” he manages, still a little winded. “What happened? Is–is he okay?”

“He’s okay.” Chowder hands him back his phone. “He went into the coat closet to try to get something down for Bitty and got locked in.” 

Will winces. Nursey’s claustrophobia doesn’t rear up often, but when it does, it’s usually messy. He rubs his chest absently. “Fuck, that sucked,” he says. But Nursey’s anxiety is gone, leaving behind only a deep, unsettled worry, and that’s his own, he realizes, his skin itching to get back to the Haus, to make sure Nursey’s okay with his own eyes. “Help me up?”

Chowder pulls him to his feet. “Hey,” he says. “If you want, I can teach you some of the stuff I do for Cait when she gets anxiety attacks?”

It’s not really what Will’s expecting him to say, and he blinks, putting his phone back in his pocket. “I, uh,” he says. “You think it’ll happen again?”

“I don’t know,” Chowder says. He smiles, though. “But the first thing you asked me was if Nursey was okay. So it kind of seems like whether it’ll happen again or not, you wanna know how to help.”




It wasn’t how he planned to come out, or how to let someone know that Nursey’s his soulmate, but he can’t really say he didn’t expect it to end up being a mess. Honestly, though…

“Yeah,” he says, surprising himself a little with the curl of warmth in his belly at the idea of not hiding anymore. “That’d be good.” 

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out to see a text from Nursey.

hey. did something just make you weirdly happy?

Will smiles before he can stop himself. 

yeah, he types back. sit tight. i’ll tell you when i get home.

Nursey’s response comes in a moment later. can’t wait.

Will glances at Chowder, who grins and bumps his shoulder against Will’s.

Weirdly happy, he thinks. Strong enough to get all the way through to Nursey.

Maybe they’re not so screwed after all.

Muse | Chapter 8 [4.02]

A/N: All right, y’all know my first version of this chap was a mess. So, I understand your hesitation for wanting to even take a look at my rewrite. But, I have gotten the approval from the lovely fic writer, @sophisticatedloserchick and my incredible beta, @valeriemperez, that this chap is an incredible improvement from the first version. So, if you don’t trust what’s rolling around in my head, I urge you to at least trust them.

Inspiration: the DCTV promo featuring Barry telling Iris (presumably) “The weight of the whole city falls on my shoulders.” Also, some dialogue from the (4.01) Hero Reborn promo is included. The chapter is about how that scene could play out.

Note: I realize the Iris lines from the promo are probably meant for 4.01, not 4.02, but they fit so perfectly into the scene I was writing, I couldn’t resist. Hopefully you won’t mind. ;)

He found her at STAR Labs, sitting alone, deep in thought. The room was empty. They had just caught another bad guy mere moments after Barry and Iris finished up their first couples therapy session, which had proven to be both comical and eye-opening. Barry hadn’t been totally sure where they stood by the end of it, but he knew they’d made progress. He believed that.

“Go,” she’d said when they got the alert from Cisco.

He realized in that moment that he’d been waiting for her okay, for her direction, for her permission.

He, The Flash, the guy who had made all the decisions in the past, after one therapy decision hadn’t dashed away immediately. It wasn’t on purpose either. It was natural. It felt right. And it made him wonder if he hadn’t always subconsciously looked to her for guidance.

In the dire moments, sure, but always?


She looked up from where she was sitting and smiled genuinely, softly, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“You caught the bad guy.”

We caught the bad guy.” He slowed to a stop when he reached her and then took a seat. “We all did.”

Her smile was tremulous. “We did.”

He sighed and took her hand in his, watching how his hands clasped over her smaller one.

“Look, Iris, about the therapy session…” He pursed his lips, and then looked up at her.

“It was kind of a disaster,” she finished, biting her bottom lip. “I mean, right?”

His thoughts had been serious, but her words made him recall how confused the therapist had been throughout the meeting in their attempts to explain the situation without giving away his superhero identity. He laughed.

“I don’t know why no one told us that would be an obstacle we’d have to overcome.”

“We’re adults,” she said, taking on a dignified air. “We should have thought of it ourselves.”

“Too bad we don’t know any therapists who know my identity.”

“Or that we don’t have one of those…” She gestured with her fingers around an invisible device. Her brows furrowed, forgetting what it was called.

Barry got it though and smiled slowly.

“One of those memory eraser things.” Iris’s eyes flashed to his and lit up in recognition. “From Men in Black.”

“Yes.” She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, one of those.”

“Those would come in handy.” He sighed wistfully.

“Shouldn’t Cisco have come up with one of those by now?” Iris asked with a laugh. Barry joined in.

“I’ll have to get on him about that.”

The shared laughter between them subsided until there was only silence. Neither risked catching a glance. Finally, Iris cleared her throat.



“The therapy.”


“Do you… What did you think?” she asked.

Barry knew it was no joke this time. Not from the vulnerability shining in her eyes. They had tackled serious issues during the session, even if they had blundered their way through attempts at hiding from the person they were supposed to unveil everything to.

But the undertone was clear. Sure, he felt like she was trying to walk all over him at STAR Labs, but she was also truly, deeply hurting on the inside. Not only that, she’d been holding STAR Labs and the team up for six long months. It was because of Iris that Team Flash hadn’t gone under. For all the things he’d learned while in the speed force, it hadn’t occurred to him what those he’d left behind had endured in his absence. Or how deep the impact ran.

Things were a lot clearer to him now.

“I think…maybe you’re upset with me,” he ventured carefully.

She blinked. “About what?”

He gave her a knowing look, and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, obviously I’m not a fan of you giving a direction that is the opposite of my direction, since I’m—”


He threaded their fingers together, and she sighed shakily. Her eyes closed, and he saw as tears wet her eyelashes.

“I just…” She swallowed hard, and then looked up at him. “I tried to keep going.” She nodded, pursing her lips together for a moment so a tearful gasp wouldn’t escape her. “To keep running like you said.” She released the breath she’d been holding and tried to focus on his thumbs moving in soothing, warm circles on her hands.

“In the beginning…I was in…shambles. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I cried all the time.” She looked up at him. “I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in our bed alone. It was too hard. It felt so empty.” She paused and looked away, trying to compose herself. “I would wake up in the middle of the night and reach out for you. And y-you,” she caught her breath, sinking her face into his hand when it suddenly appeared there, cupping her cheek. “You were never there.”

“I’m so…” The pain on Barry’s face was palpable. “I never wanted that for you, Iris.”

She looked up at him, a glint of anger and disappointment in her eyes mixed with heartbreaking sadness.

“But that’s what happened, Barry.” She moved back slightly, causing his hand to lose contact with her skin. He made no attempt to recapture it. “And I had to rebuild the team in your absence, because we were so…so lost without you. We wanted to do right by you, but…” She sighed and looked away, remembering. “We couldn’t.” Her voice broke, and then she fixed her eyes on his again. “So, I put my heartbreak in a box, and I tucked it away. I hardened myself enough to keep the team together, so we could protect the city the way it needed to be protected. I turned over all the pictures in our loft because seeing them hurt too much. They drew out the girl who just wanted to curl in a ball and cry all day. So, I didn’t look at them. Because the team needed a leader who wouldn’t break.”

She paused to catch her breath and reclaim a hold of her wild emotions. She swallowed hard.

“And all of this – all of it – happened because you made a snap decision. You made it, and you just…” She swept her hand in an angry gesture. “You just left.”

“Iris, I—”

“You left me.”

Her eyes were blazing. Barry was rendered speechless, his mouth hanging open.

“You left all of us,” she continued, and he thought for a moment she was going to sweep her first statement under the rug. “But you left me.” Her voice cracked and tears flooded her face as she looked away. “I’m your wi—I-I was going to be, I…”

“Iris, Iris, hey, hey…” He was beside her then, cradling her in his arms. “I’m right here now, okay? I’m here.” He pulled back enough so she could look at him. He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze when she didn’t. “I’m sorry.”

She swallowed and nodded, scooted back a little and then said softly, “I know.”

He sighed and created a little more distance between them.

“Iris, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Or any of you.” He took a breath and then looked at her sincerely, trying to express the ache that was in his heart. “The weight of the whole city falls on my shoulders.”

She couldn’t look at him for a second, but then she made herself.

“Sometimes I have to make tough choices, choices that I don’t want to make, that I would never have to make if I was just Barry Allen, forensic scientist for the CCPD. I don’t get that luxury, because I’m not just that guy anymore. I’m the Flash.” He tried to lighten the mood with a strangled laugh, but he knew immediately it hadn’t worked. “If I could’ve thought of a way to save the city without sacrificing myself, I would have.”

“Would you have?” she asked. There wasn’t much spite to the question. Mostly it was genuine curiosity. And heartbreak. She licked her lips and attempted to regather her thoughts. “It was so easy for you, Barry. You saw the speed force coming out of that hole and you just…you said a few short goodbyes, and you left. You even told me it was your redemption. You wanted to go in there.”

He swallowed and nodded once. “Maybe.”

She looked away, wiped away the tears that had only half-dried on her face.

“I did so much damage when I created Flashpoint. In the end, it was HR that saved you by sacrificing himself. If he hadn’t done that…you would’ve died.” He sighed. “I couldn’t fix anything that I did. Everyone else fixed it for me. I wasn’t the hero. I tried, and I still got the happy ending because I let people sacrifice theirs for me.”

Iris was torn between the need to scold him, to yell at him that that wasn’t a good enough excuse, and the very real desire to hold him in her arms because even when he was at fault, she hated to see him sad. He might have super powers, but he was still very human. He was allowed to make mistakes.

“I wanted redemption, Iris,” he said, fixing his gaze on hers again. “But that doesn’t mean for a second that I didn’t want you or that I didn’t want our life together.” He took her hands and kissed each gently. “If I have to spend the rest of my life proving that to you, I will.”

She sighed quietly and nodded subtly.

“Because all I want to do,” he began sincerely, and then broke into the gentle tune, “is come runnin’ home to you.”

Her sudden smile turned into a laugh, albeit a short one. It made his heart swell to see the shift in her.

“Can you just talk to me first next time?” she asked, her voice still light enough that she didn’t sink into herself again. “Just give me a head’s up, ‘Hey, Iris, I’m about to jump into the speed force to save the city, and I might not come out again. Prepare yourself.’ Maybe we can even talk about it and see if there’s another way?”

He softened for her and nodded. “I will.”

Her shoulder sank as the relieved breath swept out of her.

“I learned a lot during my time in the speed force. I’ve moved past the pain and regret and guilt from seeing my life over and over again for what felt like an eternity.” He stopped. “But Iris, you have to know that sometimes I do have to make tough decisions. Sometimes there is no other way.”

“Barry.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “There is always another way. Someone very wise told me that.”

He didn’t want to contradict her anymore, so he let it go. After all, in the past he had always believed there was another way – another way out of killing, another way other than crossing a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll remind me of that,” he said, “since you’re the one I’ll be following.”

She blinked and released his hand.

“What are you saying?” she asked slowly.

He laughed lightly and shook his head. “I’m saying I’m an idiot.”

Her lips twitched at the corner.

“Iris, from the very beginning, the very thought of you has been what’s kept me going. Whether it was just as Barry Allen or as the Flash. I went into the future before you were saved, and I saw that I had absolutely fallen apart without you. I had stopped living. I had stopped saving people. I had stopped caring about anything but my grief and my failure to protect you. In the here and now, in the worst situations, it is your voice on the com that gets me through it. Your direction, your spirit, your words of encouragement, memories of you – they are what keeps this team going.”

She was so shocked and incredibly touched, she didn’t know what to say.


He took her hands back and smiled brilliantly at her.

“I have been at the helm of this team ever since Eobard Thawne was erased from existence.” Iris looked away briefly, but Barry’s thumb smoothing over her fingers brought her back to him. “I didn’t know how things had changed, and I didn’t understand that it was for the better.”

“The whole city doesn’t have to fall on your shoulders, Barry,” she said gently.

He smiled softly, letting that possibility sink into him.

“We’ll all carry it together.”

Her heart was so full she thought it might burst.

“You have done an amazing job keeping the team going while I was gone,” he said. “I can’t think of a single other person I would follow into battle than the love of my life, future wife, badass reporter by day and leading a team of superheroes by night – and in her free time.” He winked.

She caught her breath.

“You’re sure,” she said. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

“It’s what I want, Iris. You’re what this team needs. And you know…” He slinked away. “I’m not sure I’d want my job back even if you tried to give it to me.” He folded his arms across his chest, and she smacked him playfully until he giggled and her eyes were shining with happy tears.

“You’re still the Flash, you know. You’re still the guy the team is going to follow out into the field. They look up to you in a way that they’ll never look up to me.”


“And that’s how it should be,” she said firmly. “You lead them out into the war zone. I’ll keep you all grounded at home base.”

His eyes sparkled, and so did hers. At the same time, they both moved towards each other, melting into a sweet kiss. Iris sighed happily into him.

“Besides, I think you’ll like me telling you what to do.”

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh, yeah?”

Her darkening eyes lowered to his lips then slowly raised to his green-eyed gaze.

“Yeah.” She slipped her arms around his neck and slid herself onto his lap. “I think you are going to love it.”

He held her close. “Well then, by all means, we should have started this sooner.”

She laughed and leaned in for another kiss that built into a more passionate one.

It was going to take more than one therapy session and one heart-to-heart to smooth the new dynamic out between them and the rest of the team. But this was a good first start. It was a breakthrough. They were different people now than they were before he had left, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was a new chapter, and they were living it together.

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

spooniefulofsugar  asked:

For the 4 word prompts. F!Ryder with whomever you'd like. "So, it was you" Please & thank you!

I hope you enjoy fluff, spoonie. That is not a pun, I swear!

The quartermaster had turned even paler than the sand. Sara’s hands balled into fists as she glared at her.

“Missing supplies? Again?

The guilt was almost immediate. Sometimes it felt like Sara knew everyone on Eos, but that was because she didn’t know any of them at all. She recognized the big ones; the important faces, and the names of those with influence - but she couldn’t claim any more knowledge than that. It didn’t matter that Prodromos was her pride and joy. It didn’t matter that she’d spent blood and tears to give this place a fighting chance.

She’d never so much as asked this woman’s name. She didn’t get to be rude to her.

“Sorry,” Sara muttered. She lifted her chin and flexed her fingers; took those deep, calming breaths that Scott always told her to take. “You want me to look into it, right?”

The quartermaster nodded. She didn’t look scared, precisely, but she was definitely nervous. A furious Pathfinder had that effect on people.

SAM spoke up on their private channel. “Travel on Eos will be considerably easier now that the Kett have scaled back their presence on the planet. It should not take long to fulfil the quartermaster’s request.”

“I’ll do it,” Sara sighed. “Give me the coordinates.”

The heat on Eos was more an annoyance than a hazard. Five minutes on Elaaden had a way of making any ordinary desert seem well and truly temperate, but Sara’s forehead was still sticky with sweat by the time the Nomad crested Sheartop.

“We’re almost at the quartermaster’s coordinates,” Peebee said from the backseat. She sounded a good deal more cheerful than Sara felt. “Down that path to the northwest, do you think?”

Jaal rumbled his agreement. “I believe so.” Unlike Peebee, he sounded a little nervous, but that was probably because of angle of the path in question. Anything more than a gentle descent fired up Jaal’s distrust of Milky Way tire treads - and the sandy surface probably didn’t help. “You’ll proceed carefully, right?”

Sara hoped he couldn’t see her smirk in the rear-vision mirror. “Of course.”

She took the slope at a good seventy or eighty kilometres an hour; not fast enough to send them off the edge of the narrow path, but enough to make Jaal squeak in alarm. The Nomad’s tires left the ground for a moment - several moments - and the adrenaline kick got the blood flowing through Sara’s veins again. Jaal gasped when the vehicle slammed back into the sand, kicking silicates up behind them like orange streamers.

Peebee snickered, slapping the panting angara on the shoulder. “See, Jaal? Carefully.”

For what it was worth, Sara did continue the descent with caution. The path was a winding one, curling around outcroppings and between towering, rocky pillars. The slope soon came close to levelling out. According to the quartermaster’s coordinates, they were exactly where they needed to be, but Sara couldn’t see anything.


“Is that a cave?”

Peebee crawled between the front seats to get a better look. “I think so! Let’s go take a look.”

“I recommend that you investigate,” SAM chimed in.

“Then let’s proceed on foot,” Jaal said shakily. Peebee giggled, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle it, but Sara felt another flash of guilt.

“You got it, Jaal. Let’s go.”

The cave was several degrees cooler than the sun-drenched sand outside, and Sara was grateful for it. It was narrow, too, in contrast to the other sprawling caverns she’d seen on Eos, and the sound of their footsteps echoed back at them no matter how carefully they advanced. About twenty metres in, the tunnel hooked sharply to the right - then branched into two distinct paths.

Sara stopped. “Hmm. Scissors-paper-rock? Eenie-meenie-miney-mo?”

SAM responded before the others had the chance. “It would be more efficient to investigate both forks at once, Pathfinder. I do not detect any hostiles in the area. Perhaps you should proceed down the path to the right. Ms. B'Sayle and Mr. Amal Darav can investigate the path on the left.”

“You’re suggesting we split up. Have you been watching those horror vids Liam lent you? You know what happens when the team splits up.”

“Ugh,” Peebee muttered. “It’ll be fine! Quit worrying so much, Ryder.”

Sara raised an eyebrow at her. “Seriously?” She looked at Jaal, expecting to find an ally - but he was already heading for the path SAM had suggested. “Jaal!”

“I agree with Peebee,” he said calmly. “The kett are long gone from Eos, and if SAM detects no cause for concern -”

“Then we have nothing to be afraid of,” Peebee finished for him. She looped her arm through Jaal’s and led him away. With the sunlight cut off by the turn in the tunnel, the darkness was almost complete, but Peebee’s flashlight flickered to life a moment later. “Get going,” she called back to Sara. “What are you waiting for?”

Sara sighed. “If I get eaten by an eiroch,” she yelled at the rapidly retreating illumination, “I’m telling SAM to blame you!”

“You are not going to be eaten, Pathfinder.”

“Whatever you say, SAM.”

She advanced slowly, her weapon at the ready and a prepared biotic throw dancing on her fingertips. Her flashlight went some way towards dispersing the darkness, but its pale beam only stretched about ten metres in front of her. She couldn’t decide whether she was grateful for the narrow path or resentful of it. If any of the monsters from Liam’s vids were going to leap out at her, she only had one way to run.

Sara flinched when her omnitool pinged. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” Peebee’s voice was a little crackly - probably thanks to interference from the surrounding rock - but she still sounded distinctly pleased with herself. “Just wanted to tell you what a great time we’re having over here. We could hang out here for hours. How are you doing?”

Sara sighed explosively. She was ready to fire back something irritable - but she could see a glimmer of light up ahead. “SAM?”

“It appears to be natural light, Pathfinder. There may be a gap in the cavern ceiling around the next bend.”

Sara set her omnitool to silence incoming transmissions. A little sunlight shouldn’t have made her nervous, but something about this wasn’t right. Peebee was being too cheerful. Jaal was being too reckless. And SAM? Sara couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the way he’d said hostiles.

But he was right about one thing: the was a gap in the ceiling. Sara rounded a twist in the tunnel to find herself standing in a cone of golden light, dust motes dancing in the air around her. There was a large provisions crate sitting in the centre of the illumination, an Initiative mark emblazoned on its side.

“Are these the missing supplies, SAM?”

“Yes, Pathfinder. The ID number matches that provided by the quartermaster in Prodromos.”

Sara breathed a sigh of relief - but something still didn’t seem right. She approached the crate slowly, reaching out to skim her fingers along the nearest surface -

And it moved. Only briefly, and only slightly - but it definitely shifted, skidding a half-centimetre across the floor as if something inside it had hurled itself against one side. Sara could hear a quiet shuffling coming from the crate. Panting, too.

This was not a supply crate.

“I swear to god, SAM, if there’s an eiroch in here -”

“I do not detect any eirochs in the area, Pathfinder, and we have yet to encounter one that would fit in a supply crate. Perhaps you should open it to confirm.”

Sara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “SAM -”

“I strongly recommend it.”

Sara sighed one more time. Something was very fishy about this, but SAM wouldn’t try to hurt her. Taking up position slightly to the side of the crate, she used her omnitool to slice through one of the joints. The shuffling stopped while the tool whirred. She crossed to the other side of the crate, hauling on the severed surface as she went. It creaked open - reluctantly - until it finally hung free, secured to the body of the crate by only one of its four connecting sides.

Sara peered into the dark interior. She couldn’t see much. There was a small device secured to one of the inside walls.

“That is slow-release oxygen supply, Pathfinder.”

“Why would there be -”

She cut off at the tell-tale scrape of claws on aluminium. Something was stirring in the darkness. She could hear it breathing; hear it advancing. Sara raised her gun, preparing to turn tail and run if she smelled even a hint of eiroch breath.

SAM was talking again. “You will not need your weapon, Pathfinder.”

What the fuck was going on?

Then it charged at her, barrelling out of the darkness like a little torpedo; leaping up to bat at her with tiny paws and wet nose -

Wait. What?

Maybe it was a reflex, or maybe it was just shock, but Sara stumbled backwards. She fell on her ass on the cave floor - and then it was on top of her, licking at her ears and snuffling at her hair.

“Oh my god -”

It was a puppy.

Sara could have cried with joy. She pushed it away just long enough to clamber up onto her knees. The puppy scrunched up its tiny face, worrying at her wrist as it tried to get in close again. It was an ahdi, by the look of it, with a brightly coloured dorsal fan and blunt little teeth. It didn’t have any fur, but Sara could live with that. Like adult ahdi, its skin was thick and leathery, but it came in rolls like a tiny, furless pug. Its eyes were huge and glinting, and it leaped at Sara the moment she let it go, snuffling at her neck as it tried to climb onto her shoulders; whining like a baby when she refused to let it lick her face.

A voice rang out behind her. “I see you found my present.”

Sara froze - then spun around, clutching the puppy to her chest as she searched for the source of the voice. When she found him, she wanted to cry again.

Reyes was leaning against the wall of the cavern, half in shadow and half in light, smiling that self-satisfied smile of his. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” The puppy managed to squirm high enough to lick Sara’s chin - and tears of joy pricked at her eyes. “And yes. Yes, I do.”

Reyes’ smile widened. He pushed himself off the wall. “Good. SAM couldn’t tell me if you were a dog person or not.”

“Hang on. SAM was in on this?”

Sara knew she was probably imagining it, but SAM sounded a little sheepish. “Mr. Vidal and I were in agreement. It has been too long since you took time for yourself, Pathfinder. He suggested that a surprise might be in order.”

“So you got me a dog?” Sara put a hand over her mouth to shield herself from the puppy’s assault on her chin. “Wait, SAM - so it was you? You took the supplies?”

Still smiling as if he’d never been so pleased with himself in his life, Reyes knelt down on the ground beside her. “Not exactly. We borrowed this crate from Prodromos, but we didn’t actually steal any supplies. SAM fudged a few numbers here and there.” Sara must have looked horrified, because his expression turned mollifying. “Hey - we had to get you to come out here somehow. You’d never have agreed to take the time if you thought it was a personal outing. SAM can fix the books up later.”

Sara glanced down at the puppy, heart pushing up against the bottom of her throat. He was pawing at one of the clasps on her armour. “He can’t live on the Tempest. Kallo will have an aneurysm.”

“Then he can live with me. That was my plan all along, you know.” Reyes smiled again, and Sara’s heart threatened to crack in two. “To give you another reason to visit me.”

He kissed her, lips slow and soft and gentle; fingers skimming up her arm to tilt her chin a little higher. Sara giggled helplessly into his mouth, scrambling to stop the puppy from climbing up between them. It was bouncing around in her arms, yipping in excitement.

“Oh my god. I think I’m going to cry.”

Reyes pulled back. He looked alarmed. “You aren’t allergic, are you? Can you be allergic to ahdi?”

Sara snorted a laugh. She hooked one arm around his neck, dragging him down to her lips again; clutching the puppy with her other hand as it squirmed and yipped and sniffed. “No.”

She kissed him again, wishing she could stay here forever. She wished she could show him just how loved her made her feel.

“I’m just happy.”

anonymous asked:

mel it's late and i'm in need of angst! have you got any heart-wrenching hcs for cassarric you'd like to share?

Varric often teases Cassandra about her lack of eloquence when it comes to finding the right words, but when they argue, she comes out swinging. It used to be literal fists in his face or flipped tables when they were just bitter work associates, but after they settled into a relationship, she had to change strategies for the sake of trust and respect. Now, she fights with words that cut deeper than even her sharpest blades. He won’t admit that she’s better at it than him, even to himself. This woman who can’t write worth a damn somehow manages to come out with brutal one-liners in heated moments that dwarf anything he’s ever come up with (pun intended). 

And because he’s a man who doesn’t let things go easily, he inevitably pulls out the old card of their former prisoner/interrogator dynamic just to remind her of how she’s always treated him like a suspect and never stopped seeing him as anything but a thief and a liar worthy of every vicious glare she sends him. Always, never: words people should normally avoid using in arguments with people they love and care for.

Varric knows it’s not fair, that though her motives were hidden, her intentions in the past had been good, but he can’t help himself when her eyes blaze with that same anger he once witnessed in the dungeons. Whenever she shouts at him, demanding to know where he’s been or why he’s home so late, those memories just come flooding back and they roll off his tongue before he can think twice about it. Maybe it’s the ale loosening his lips, or maybe he just never got over the sting of it, but she’s been nothing but patient with him and he’s only taken liberties with his stories. It’s horrible and it’s ugly, and he has never brought it up in a fight without feeling like absolute scum afterwards.

The worst part about his penchant to throw old dirt in her face is her reaction to the blow. Every time, the Seeker falls silent, and he wishes he could take it all back. The yelling is easier to handle than watching her calmly close her eyes, cross her arms, and walk to their room, the fight now over. Even a punch to the gut would be better than the soft click of the door closing behind her. Regret is something Varric thought he was familiar with before she came into his life, but whatever he’d known previously is nothing compared to the self-flagellation he endures during the hours of silence that follow.

He learned early on that Cassandra doesn’t appreciate it when he goes to her right away. She needs space, time to clear her head so she doesn’t resort to throwing a chair at his face. It’s healthier for both of them that he waits a while before trying to make amends.

So, he sits down, takes out a paper and pencil, and meticulously writes down every venomous word she said to him that night. He reads them over quietly to himself. Does he deserve this much vitriol? Maybe half of it - a good two-thirds, probably. But not the other shit she spewed. Likewise, the Seeker doesn’t deserve half the things he said, either, especially that last half, that underhanded go-to he always whips out, burying the dagger deeper. 

He replays the argument in his head as he reads it over, matching it to memory. It makes him wince, but it’s good material, and so he saves it among his dozen other notes of things Cassandra has said to him in the heat of the moment. Some are just as scathing, but others are actually pretty passionate, and even downright romantic. All of them together build a character he wants to write someday, but he has to get her just right. She’s too smart not to notice the similarities herself if he ever publishes it someday, so better to be accurate than add his usual embellishments, lest she call him out on his bullshit.

After he’s done, it’s usually safe to go to bed. He shuffles down the hall and knocks on the door. No answer, which is fairly predictable at this point. The door creaks open and he slips inside, kicking off the muddy shoes he should have removed at the door and tossing his shirt to the floor instead of in the laundry basket like she’s drilled him to do a thousand times. He pulls back the covers and slides underneath as soundlessly as he can, pulling them up to his ribs.

She’s never sleeping, of course, but she pretends and so does he. Her breathing is too shallow, too light for him to buy it. For a woman whose temper always runs hot, her limbs are cold, and despite the arguments they have, he never lets his feelings on those matters stop him from wrapping an arm around her. 

Cassandra deserves a lot of things he can’t give her. The least he can offer her is the warmth of his body after the fire’s gone out.

They don’t say sorry. They don’t talk it out now. That can be done over breakfast if need be. What they really need now is rest…

What they really need, in spite of their differences, is each other. 

Even on dark nights like these.

Phantom of the Opera and its adaptations sentence starters
  • <p> <b></b> (Feel free to change pronouns around as needed)<p/><b>Leroux:</b> <p/><b></b> "The angels wept tonight."<p/><b></b> "Tonight I gave you my soul, and I am dead."<p/><b></b> "All I ever wanted was to be loved for myself."<p/><b></b> "You are afraid of me! And yet, I am not really wicked."<p/><b></b> "He fills me with horror and I do not hate him."<p/><b></b> "She is singing tonight to bring down the chandelier!"<p/><b>Kay:</b> <p/><b></b> "Hell is full of burning bridges."<p/><b></b> "None of us can choose where we will love."<p/><b></b> "There is no better way to raise a demon in my mind then to tell me something could not be done. Impossibility was not a concept I acknowledged."<p/><b></b> "Let me paint him a rainbow."<p/><b>ALW:</b> <p/><b></b> "The Angel of Music sings songs in my head."<p/><b></b> "You have come here for one purpose, and one alone."<p/><b></b> "I remember there was mist."<p/><b></b> "Is this what you wanted to see?"<p/><b></b> "I was just fourteen and soaked to the skin!"<p/><b></b> "Why have you brought me here? We must return!"<p/><b></b> "His eyes will find us there. Those eyes that burn!"<p/><b></b> "Forget this waking nightmare."<p/><b></b> "Yet in his eyes, all the sadness of the world."<p/><b></b> "All I want is freedom, a world with no more night."<p/><b></b> "I must go, they'll wonder where I am."<p/><b></b> "He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing."<p/><b></b> "But why is it secret? What have we to hide? You promised me!"<p/><b></b> "You were all that mattered."<p/><b></b> "So it is to be war between us."<p/><b></b> "What I once used to dream, I now dread."<p/><b></b> "Go now! Go now and leave me!"<p/><b>2004:</b> <p/><b></b> "No one would listen."<p/><b></b> "No one but her heard as the outcast hears."<p/><b></b> "Learn to find your way in darkness."<p/><b></b> "Who will be there for you, comfort and care for you?"<p/><b></b> "Learn to be lonely."<p/><b></b> "Laugh in your loneliness."<p/><b>Love Never Dies (AU):</b> <p/><b></b> "The moments creep, yet I can't bare to sleep."<p/><b></b> "All agleam, like a dream."<p/><b></b> "Every fantasy set free."<p/><b></b> "Starting soon upon our stage, the performance of the age."<p/><b></b> "Is there music in your head?"<p/><b></b> "What a child. Full of life! Full of you..."<p/><b></b> "Help me through this sadness."<p/><b>Love Never Dies (OLC):</b> <p/><b></b> "Are you ready to begin? Are you ready to get on? You're about to start out on the journey of your life."<p/><b></b> "It's a fun house where the mirrors all reflect what's real, and reality's as twisted as the mirrors reveal."<p/><b></b> "I should've known that you'd be here."<p/><b></b> "I should've known it all along."<p/><b>Alonso and Tilford musical:</b> <p/><b></b> "Pity her, ____. She couldn't bare to look at her own child."<p/><b></b> "Any kindness that we receive is a blessing."<p/><b></b> "Whatever you want me to be, I can be."<p/><b></b> "What twisted measure of human worth condemns a child at birth?"<p/><b></b> "Come what may at morning light, the world is yours tonight."<p/><b></b> "Skin deep, poison in the mirror."<p/><b></b> "You fool the world with your thin veneer, but you're not worth the salt in my tears!"<p/><b></b> "Pain is proof that you're alive."<p/><b></b> "Through it all, what truth is left behind, someone cared enough to break your heart."<p/><b></b> "The love you never had will haunt you like a shadow. So close, but when you reach there's no one there."<p/><b>Ken Hill:</b> <p/><b></b> "While floating high above, I hear you speak my name."<p/><b></b> "We'll share paradise."<p/><b></b> "If only you could weep for me like that."<p/><b></b> "In time you will learn to love me, I know it."<p/><b></b> "Share with me my dark domain."<p/><b></b> "Oh, free me from this dark despair."<p/><b></b> "Weave your magic spell."<p/><b></b> "How dare she!"<p/><b></b> "We are finished. Our love is over! I say it's over... Ended!"<p/><b></b> "I did weep for you, once."<p/><b></b> "Out of pity, ___, not love."<p/><b>Yeston and Kopit Phantom:</b> <p/><b></b> "Why was I born to this grave?"<p/><b></b> "Not a day I'll rest 'til that voice is found."<p/><b></b> "Well, that's obviously something she doesn't know."<p/><b></b> "Well, someone should tell her!"<p/><b></b> "What has happened to your sense of humour?"<p/><b></b> "You were the only one, my only chance of happiness."<p/><b></b> "I wondered how long it would take you to tell me it's true."<p/><b></b> "What did you think of it?"<p/><b></b> "It could've been better."<p/><b></b> "There was a time I thought I was only dreaming."<p/><b></b> "I went through that phase too."<p/><b></b> "This place is mine!"<p/><b></b> "Here, where fables come alive."<p/><b></b> "She is as innocent and natural as a rose."<p/><b></b> "You are music, beautiful music, and you are light to me."<p/><b></b> "I will find a way, through fear and doubt."<p/><b>Charles Dance miniseries:</b> <p/><b></b> "I know what to do about it. I'll kill them both!"<p/><b></b> "What kind of horror are you leaving me in?"<p/><b></b> "The gods smiled when they imagined you."<p/><b></b> "She is the reason I was born."<p/><b></b> "I was born so that she could save me!"<p/><b></b> "Do you find that apt?"<p/><b></b> "You are magic, too, I think."<p/><b></b> "Magic is my friend. Magic cannot hide from me."<p/><b></b> "Hat, do you think? Formal touch?"<p/><b></b> "Do you like these woods of mine?"<p/><b></b> "One can get quite hopelessly lost in these woods if one does not know the path... Or have a guide who does."<p/><b>Rosen and Schierhorn Phantom:</b> <p/><b></b> "I am whatever you want me to be..."<p/><b></b> "I am perfect spirit, imperfect man."<p/><b></b> "I'll always love you, I'll never leave."<p/><b></b> "I will always be your fulfillment and you'll always be my desire."<p/><b></b> "If you are the creator of such beauty, why have you forsaken the world?"<p/><b></b> "What do they know of beauty?"<p/><b></b> "We'll leave the world to its madness. We can live in bliss, alone."<p/><b></b> "Here nothing is missing, nothing is gone."<p/><b>Robert Englund slasher Phantom:</b> <p/><b></b> "Love and music are forever."<p/><b></b> "Everyone dies, I just choose the time and place for a few."<p/><b></b> "You're a thing from hell!"<p/><b></b> "And you sir, are hell bound!"<p/><b>Claude Rains Phantom:</b> <p/><b></b> "Hear the bells ringing soft and low, bringing peace through the twilight's glow."<p/><b></b> "Night has begun."<p/><b></b> "Who would pay any attention to a baritone and a detective?"<p/><b>Spooks:</b> <p/><b></b> "What does a chicken say when it lays a square egg?"<p/><b>Mystery Legends:</b> <p/><b></b> "One day, God willing, I would have my revenge."<p/><b></b> "You were the light in the darkness of my existence."<p/></p>
Little Mermaid AU! -Victuuri

Русалочка- Rusalochka- Little Mermaid 

AO3 Link (x)

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Fairy Tale 

Pairing: Victor Nickiforov / Yuuri Katsuki 


“Are you alright?” The man asked, words slightly slurred, although Victor hardly noticed. His recently waterlogged brain struggling to process anything as coherent as words.
“Wha-…ah…yeah….” Victor barely managed to drawl out of his slack mouth. His eyes finally were drawn down to what should have been the center of intrigue, the fish tail attached where legs should have gone. It was the deepest shade of black like a puddle of spilt ink. Intricate pattern of scales glistening iridescent like the rippled ocean surface on a full moon or a clear night full of stars.
“Ti….. takAya krasiva…..” Victor mumbled mostly to himself.
“What’s that mean?” The mermaid murmured back, eyelashes fluttering sweetly over cinnamon eyes.
“You’re beautiful.”

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Taylor Swift Songs
  • Tim McGraw: Who was your first love?
  • Picture To Burn: Who's picture would you like to burn?
  • Teardrops On My Guitar: Who's the guy/girl who doesn't notice your feelings?
  • A Place In This World: Do you know your place yet?
  • Cold As You: Who's got that heart of stone?
  • The Outside: Do you feel like you fit in anywhere?
  • Tied Together With A Smile: What are you battling?
  • Stay Beautiful: That guy/girl you're hardcore crushing on?
  • Should've Said No: Who seriously wronged you?
  • Mary's Song (Oh My My My): Did you have a childhood friend/crush?
  • Our Song: What is your song? What does it mean to you?
  • I'd Lie: Do you have feelings you'd never admit?
  • I'm Only Me When I'm With You: Someone you're not afraid to be your complete self with?
  • Invisible: Did you ever have a crush who never found out about your feelings?
  • Perfectly Good Heart: Did someone ever lead you on?
  • Fearless: When were you fearless?
  • Fifteen: Favorite memory from freshmen year?
  • Love Story: Have you ever had a forbidden love?
  • Hey Stephen: Did you ever write a song about somebody?
  • White Horse: Did somebody you were dating ever date another person behind your back?
  • You Belong With Me: Did you ever win your crush over?
  • Breathe: Have you ever lost somebody important to you?
  • Tell Me Why: Has somebody ever treated you poorly?
  • You're Not Sorry: Has somebody ever hurt you so badly you just can't forgive them?
  • The Way I Loved You: Who do you define as "perfect"?
  • Forever & Always: Did somebody ever break up with you when you thought things were fine?
  • The Best Day: How would you describe your relationship with your mother?
  • Change: Has somebody ever changed your life for the better?
  • Today Was A Fairytale: Have you ever had a valentine?
  • The Otherside of the Door: Did you ever hold back something you really wanted to tell someone?
  • Untouchable: Have you ever felt like somebody was out of your reach?
  • Come In With The Rain: Have you ever waited on somebody special?
  • Superstar: Who do you idolize? Why?
  • Thug Story: How gangsta are you?
  • Crazier: Has somebody ever made you lovesick?
  • Beautiful Eyes: Favorite eye color?
  • I Heart ?: Did you ever have a persistent admirer?
  • Mine: Have you ever had a really great relationship?
  • Sparks Fly: Has somebody ever made you feel vulnerable while in love?
  • Back To December: Is there somebody you would like to apologize to?
  • Speak Now: What's something you want to say right now?
  • Dear John: Who should have known?
  • Mean: Have you ever been bullied?
  • The Story Of Us: Ever had an awkward run in with somebody you were avoiding?
  • Never Grow Up: Do you wish you could be a little kid again?
  • Enchanted: Who were you enchanted to meet?
  • Better Than Revenge: Did another girl ever steal your boyfriend?
  • Innocent: Is there something you wish you could change/erase?
  • Haunted: Does somebody haunt your thoughts?
  • Last Kiss: Did you ever lose somebody who was really great to you?
  • Long Live: What great thing will you remember for the rest of your life?
  • Ours: Have you ever had a relationship where people tried to change your mind?
  • Superman: Has somebody ever been "too busy" for your relationship?
  • If This Was A Movie: Is there somebody who never came back?
  • Safe & Sound: Have you ever felt unsafe?
  • Eyes Open: Was there ever a time you had to watch your back constantly?
  • Ronan: Do you have any younger siblings?
  • State Of Grace: Have you found the one yet?
  • Red: Is there somebody you're still trying to forget?
  • Treacherous: Has somebody ever made you want to be a little risky?
  • I Knew You Were Trouble.: Have you ever been another notch on somebody's belt?
  • All Too Well: Is there something you remember too well?
  • 22: Who are your best friends? Favorite moment(s) with them?
  • I Almost Do: Is there somebody you've thought about calling again?
  • We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: Have you ever had an on-again, off-again relationship with somebody?
  • Stay Stay Stay: What kind of relationship do you dream about?
  • The Last Time: Have you ever wondered where your relationship was going?
  • Holy Ground: Has somebody ever kept you on your feet?
  • Sad Beautiful Tragic: Are you missing somebody right now?
  • The Lucky One: Who do you think is the lucky one?
  • Everything Has Changed: Has somebody ever made you feel butterflies?
  • Starlight: What was the greatest date you've ever been on?
  • Begin Again: How do you feel about love?
  • The Moment I Knew: The worst birthday you've ever had?
  • Girl At Home: Do you know somebody who is a serious player?
  • Come Back... Be Here: How do you feel about long distance relationships?
  • Sweeter Than Fiction: What is your biggest accomplishment? Did anybody tell you you wouldn't reach it?
  • Welcome To New York: What is your favorite city?
  • Blank Space: Do you have a long list of ex-lovers?
  • Style: Something you think that will never go out of style?
  • Out Of The Woods: Did an outside influence ever ruin one of your relationships?
  • All You Had To Do Was Stay: Did somebody ever lock you out after letting you in?
  • Shake It Off: How do you deal with haters?
  • I Wish You Would: Did you ever end a relationship on an argument?
  • Bad Blood: Do you have bad blood with somebody?
  • Wildest Dreams: Have you ever had a sensual relationship?
  • How You Get The Girl: What would win your heart over?
  • This Love: Have you ever had to let somebody go? Did they come back?
  • I Know Places: Where are your hiding places?
  • Clean: What's the hardest thing you've overcome?
  • Wonderland: Have you ever gotten lost in love?
  • You Are In Love: Has somebody ever made you feel like you were the only person in the world?
  • New Romantics: What would your scarlet letter be?
Raw and Honest Marriage Reflection Conversation with M
  • Me: I'm working on myself and would love to hear if you notice anything.
  • M: Am I missing something you're wanting me to notice?
  • Me: No, not that I know offhandedly.
  • M: I feel like I failed a test lol.
  • Me: I have been working on changing how I view things so that my approach could be better. Would be better. A little cognitive behavior therapy on myself. Thoughts become actions and actions become thoughts. So I'm working on both.
  • M: Awesome.
  • Me: For example like at the park when my friend left and I stayed there with Jumping Bean. I? was on edge watching for any man to enter the area but I stayed and played with him the entire time. And than how I responded to the bullies. I pretty much completely ignored them after immediately dismissing them. Normally I would have gotten right back into their face when they got into mine.
  • M: I'm proud for how you handled those girls babe. And you are totally on the right track. You are having a positive outlook more often than not and you aren't letting the little things bother you as much.
  • Me: I want to do better. For myself, our son, and you too.
  • M: And that's the right order to do things.
  • Me: I'll continue to work on it and improve. I have noticed some personal differences in myself but I don't think they are apparent yet.
  • M: Like what?
  • Me: Honestly? I'm not sure if I should say it. I don't want to hurt you. Do you still want to know?
  • M: Well now I have to know.
  • Me: Honestly, I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
  • M: What do you mean by that?
  • Me: I felt like I was constantly getting scolded by you for the smallest infractions. As if I was a small child getting spoken down to.
  • M: Could you give me an example?
  • Me: If I would say something slightly in disagreement with you you would speak down to me until I backed up. Essentially telling me I'm wrong every time I spoke or did something. I realized just how much that conditioning effected me and how much I didn't say or do something because I didn't want to be looked down at nor spoken down to by you. It made me feel like I could never tell you anything. You would even say a comment or give me a look while my friends were over and I would immediately shut down until you left again.
  • M: I had no idea. I love you babe you shouldn't have to feel that way around me. Glad I left then.
  • Me: I love you so much babe. And I always wanted to make you happy and proud but in the process I've given up and lost a lot of myself and never truly realized how much. How ingrained it had become. I like like none of my passions mattered. For a small example was when I shared something a friend had said, and you gave me that look and said something like "Why would they say that? My friends and I never would," in that tone of voice that just made me disappear. A tone of voice that made me feel as if I was a total disappointment to you. When all that I had shared was that several of my new friends found me attractive, my new friends whom you know are open and honest about who they are attracted to while still being extremely respectable and not going near the boundaries.
  • M: I'm sorry my love. Something else for me to work on while I'm here.
  • Me: It's been years upon years of it. I realized that I go dead silent or worse agree with you when you'd say something that I was not okay with at all that anyone else I'd confront them immediately about. It's all things that all of my friends have been telling me for years but I never understood what they truly meant when they told me until a bit after you left for this training.
  • "You're not yourself around him."
  • "You seem different."
  • "Are you okay? Are you sick?"
  • Are some of the things I've been told.
  • M: So then ... Do you want to try to work this out once I get home or ... ?
  • Me: Absolutely yes love. I knew I was more reserved around you than anyone else but it never hit me just how different I had allowed myself to become for you, for our relationship. I love you so much babe and I always have. I don't want to lose you. I didn't want to hurt you at all.
  • M: I'm not hurt and don't worry about hurting me. It's the truth and it needed to be said. And now that I know we can focus on that.
  • Me: I knew it was an issue and had tried to tell you in the past multiple times but it took a few weeks apart to realize how much. Does me ever telling you something along the lines of my throat closing up when I try to tell you soemthing or my voice getting choked up ring a bell?
  • M: Yes.
  • Me: Or me trying to tell you something and looking away and fidgeting while I tried to tell you something bring up any memories? During each and every of those moments you were employing the scolding voice and/or look. So often that even when you were not yet I knew it was only a matter of time. I was being scolded and punished for any and all infrastructures I felt. You would withhold love and affection and give me the silent treatment too for my infrastructures. For hours at a time. You've sent me to bed too, banished me rather.
  • M: Okay, that one I don't really remember, but I get your point. I have been an abusive shit of a boyfriend/husband. And I'll work on it and pay more attention to you and what you need.
  • Me: I don't think you're a shit, not purposefully, but I do think things were getting toxic between us on both sides. I love you so much babe and I don't want to lose you. I do NOT want us to break up. I want to be with you if we can fix our relationship. I desperately want to work this out babe.
  • M: Let's do it then.
  • Me: How do we? How do we find ourselves and each other again? How do we fix this?
  • M: Be yourself and do your thing while I am here doing my thing. We come back together as each other. Possibly get couples counseling when we get to our next location after my training is finished.
  • Me: What if you hate me? You already told me in November if you met me today as I am as the man that you are today you wouldn't be interested in me. It already broke my heart when you told me that.
  • M: I can assure you that I don't hate you. And we are different people now than we were then. The best advice Dad ever gave me was that love changes because people change. You will love differently because you are different. But it's still love. I still love you babe.
  • Me: Still loving me has never been a question but you were acting and essentially said that you didn't like the person I am today. I've been reserved and holding myself in check for you. I can only imagine how much you'd be against the real me.
  • M: I'm sorry that it came across that way. I love you and only you.
  • Me: I've long ago learned that I've never been monogamous with love. It may be five or more years between loving another, but it is there always.
  • M: And we will work with that.
  • Me: Is this something that will destroy you? Destroy us?
  • M: Can't give an answer to that unknown. Honestly. But I want to be with you.
  • Me: I guess it boils down to one of us will have to give something up. Neither of us has control over our hearts. I know it has been a point of tension in our entire relationship. I tried to be mono for you for many years, but about halfway through your our relationship after you returned from deployment I couldn't do it anymore no matter how hard I tried. Since than our relationship has been open since we opened it, but I remained reserved for you, for us. Nobody else was worth my time and effort to get to know other than Kitten while we dated her and when I met and formed a strong connection with Red Stag during which I've developed emotions for him and him for me. I've fallen hard for him.
  • M: We will do better love. I don't want to lose you, nor you lose yourself.