but if i don't practice how am i going to get better

After reading @brbimstudying ’s post, I decided to show my side of the story as well.

What you see here are only the pictures. You don’t see how my hand gets frequent spams and how my right arm is hurting because of how much I’m writing. You don’t see the migraines I get practically every single day because of stress and exhaustion, to the point when I’m actually having to go to a neurologist.

You don’t see how many mental breakdowns I’ve had over a grade. You don’t see how many hours I’ve spent just lying in my bed because I’ve been studying for too long and now I’m too dizzy to get up. You don’t see all the times I cried and “gave up”.

I don’t know why, but I don’t really give up. I keep coming back to it.

Yesterday, I had a free afternoon and got home around 6pm. I studied until 10pm and had to listen to my parents go on and on about how irresponsible I was, just “throwing away study hours like that”. Had to listen about my math grade. I know about the math grade.

I am human. I am not motivated 24/7, or happy to study all the time. Sometimes I sit and stay there because I HAVE to, because I feel a terrible guilt when I stop. I fight my back, arm ,and hand pains and I keep going.

That’s what you don’t see.