but i'm too lazy to make two more

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“The odd thing is, Harry,“ he said softly, "that it may not have meant you at all. Sibyll’s prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom.

-cough- My mind interpreted this question as, “Please torture Kunikida some more.” Also, I could completely picture this scenario in my head, but getting it down in words was a bit of a struggle. Still, I hope you like it! ^-^

Another note: Obviously, to make everything understandable, the songs they sing are in English. I hope my references aren’t too lame. I’m not exactly the funniest person on Earth. T^T

Kunikida Doppo is in hell.

It’s not what he imagined hell would look like, sure, but it’s definitely just as scary. The one person that could have saved him is sitting to his right, and Kunikida wonders why he had let this outing happen. Kunikida shifts his eyes to the birthday boy next to him and clears his throat.

“With all due respect,” he says, trying to pick his words carefully. “Why are we in a karaoke room? I would not have thought that you were one for such loud parties.”

Fukuzawa quietly takes a sip of his tea before answering, “Ranpo. Kyouka.” He doesn’t elaborate any further, as if that’s enough of an explanation. The tea in his hands is brought to his lips for another sip, signalling the end of the conversation. Kunikida smothers a sigh and turns his attention to his unruly subordinates.

“I’M KING,” Ranpo declares loudly, taking perch on the nicest couch in the room. “You guys have to listen to whatever I say.” This cannot end well, so Kunikida does his part and tries to interject.

“That’s not how the game works,” he tries to explain. “We’re all supposed to draw straws, and the one with the longest straw is the king. In fact, the king should change every round.”

He may as well have been talking to thin air, because Ranpo is already flipping through the song menu. Kunikida smothers a sigh and decides not to interfere. If he stays quiet, perhaps humiliation can be avoided.

The first round of songs begins, and everything goes wrong immediately. After a moment of thought, Ranpo declares his first victim and his choice of music.

“Yosano. “It’s Raining Men.””

Hearing the lyrics come out of the doctor’s mouth is terrifying, Kunikida thinks. He doesn’t know whether it’s the smile on Yosano’s face, her voice, or the glint in her eyes, but for the first time ever, the song induces images of male bodies littering the floor in Kunikida’s head. He pales, and tries to remind himself that it’s a song celebrating love and relationships of some sort. He breathes a sigh of relief when the song ends.

“Tanizaki, Naomi. “A Whole New World.””

Halfway through the song, Kunikida and Atsushi jump out of their seats to cover Kyouka and Kenji’s eyes and ears. “Aladdin” is ruined forever. 

Apparently, Ranpo is slightly shaken by the performance of the Tanizaki siblings as well, and tries to restore some semblance of decency and innocence to the room by choosing the two youngest members of the Agency to go next.

“Kenji, Kyouka. “You are my Sunshine.””

The performance is a delight, in the sense that nobody feels the need to stop the music or plug their ears.

It’s near the end of this performance that Kunikida suddenly comes to a heart-stopping realization. He breaks into a cold sweat. The only people yet to be chosen are himself, Atsushi, and Dazai. A plan is needed in order to avoid death by musical humiliation.

What could he do? If he tells everyone that the ideal says that singing is bad for his health, would anyone believe him? Would anyone care?

The camaraderie in this team is terrible, Kunikida suddenly laments. More often than not, it seems as if his coworkers at the Agency try to induce a heart attack in him on purpose.

“Atsushi.”

Kunikida snaps out of his inner dialogue for a few seconds in order to hear the fate of the tiger cub.

“Gangnam Style,” Ranpo declares. He’s always had something against Atsushi, Kunikida thinks. “With the dance moves.”

Kunikida watches the poor boy with all the world’s sympathy in his heart until Dazai pokes him in the arm. “Hey,” his partner whispers. “You should join. You’re a very good dancer. I still have pictures from your Just Dance incident…”

Kunikida almost chokes, and gives Dazai a well-deserved whack in the head. Screw camaraderie, he thinks, ignoring Atsushi, who has his eyes turned to him, begging for help. He absolutely has to get himself out of singing before he can rescue anyone else. His eyes fall on his notebook.

Budgets! He can do company budgets. Maybe Ranpo will leave him alone then. He gets started, flipping to a brand new page and calculating how much today’s party will cost and how much saving will need to be done for the rest of the month.

“Dazai,” Ranpo calls.

At least he has another three minutes before his plan is tested.

“And Kunikida.”

No.

“I Knew You Were Trouble.”

Hell no.

Kunikida ignores the mic on the table, and the tapping of Dazai’s hand on his shoulder. “Sing with me, partner,” he says enthusiastically. “I know you’re shy, but hey, it’s a duet.”

Dazai begins the song, ignoring the fact that Kunikida does not join him, and Kunikida allows himself to relax a bit. Dazai’s wailing is not helping his concentration, but at least he’s not being forced-

“KUNIKIDA, THE CHORUS!” Dazai screams, pointing a second mic at Kunikida’s pursed lips.

“‘Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in                                           So shame on me now…”

Kunikida will not give in. Briefly, he thinks that he can sympathize with this Swift girl. He should have kicked Dazai to the curb the first moment he laid eyes on him.

“Flew me to places I’d never been
‘Til you put me down, oh”

Dazai’s wailing is getting louder, but Kunikida believes he can endure.

“I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE WHEN YOU WALKED IN…”

Dazai’s mop of curly hair is getting closer and Kunikida’s ears are starting to ring.

Deep breaths, he tells himself. 

“FLEW ME TO PLACES I’D NEVER BEEN…”

Endure.

ENDURE.

“COME ON KUNIKIDA, JOIN IN!” Dazai shouts, right in his ear.

“NOW I’M LYING ON THE COLD HARD GROUND.”

“ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kunikida screams, whacking Dazai on the head again. His hit is hard enough so that a THUMP is amplified by the mic, but Dazai sits up, unfazed. He shrugs.

“Pretty close, actually,” he comments. “But you sound more like a goat than Taylor Swift.” He continues to sing, unaware of Kunikida’s growing murderous intent.

Kunikida wants to bury himself in a hole. He looks to the side at Fukuzawa, who pointedly stares straight ahead, away from his accusatory gaze.

This team has no sense of camaraderie, Kunikida thinks again. He briefly considers joining the Port Mafia. Surely they wouldn’t engage in such foolishness as this. 

At that very moment, Kunikida feels a cold prickling run down his neck, and he cringes, suddenly very afraid. He looks to the side carefully, and Fukuzawa gives him a dark look before turning his eyes away again.

Fukuzawa sips his tea.

Kunikida tries not to cry.

LoT Drinking Game

*and by drink i mean kool-aid bc otherwise we’d all die drink responsibly kiddies 

Drink every time: 

  • Someone shades Ray Palmer 
  • Ray mentions being in Stein’s class (double it if he’s being salty) 
  • There’s a Prison Break/Titanic reference 
  • “TWO MONTHS AGO I WAS A BARISTA!”
  • Carter is mentioned. 
  • Someone does a horrible job of protecting Jax (multiply it for every person who lets him down). 
  • Mick has to carry an injured team member. 
  •  Len & Mick steal something. 
  • Rip warns the team to not mess up the timeline. 
  • The team messes up the timeline (2x if they try changing their own life)
  • The 100% foolproof plan shockingly fails.
  •  Rip asks the team if they’re SURE they want to continue the mission.
The guys having lunch, probably

Edd: *gags* This sandwich is disgusting!
Matt: really? It can’t be that bad. *Takes the Sandwich from Edd and takes a bite*
Matt: *gags* EW NO BAD!
Tom: You two are babies, gimmie that. *Grabs the sandwich and takes a bite*
Tom: *cringes and covers his mouth* Ehhafvxbbaacbdt
Tord: Ha! You British are so sensitive to different foods. *You know exactly what he does*
Tord: I have never regret anything more than this-!
*Insert ten minutes of them just gagging and wretching*
Edd:
Matt:
Tom:
Tord:
Matt: Maybe it’s better the second bite?
Edd: That would actually make sense.
Tom: yeah ok.
Tord: Lord help us, pass it to me I’m going first.

prince!akaashi and knight!bokuto bokuaka headcanons that are absolutely 100% @librebananr‘s fault because of her gorgeous art here and her headcanons here

part 1 | part two to be added   

  • The saying Bokuto Koutarou grew up with was “If the Bokutos could have been born poorer, they would have been" and it was always met with a round of uproarious laughter that makes his heart sink. He finds no amusement in his starvation, the withering away of his mother and father as they work and work and work. How his siblings are constantly filthy, constantly sallow and horribly thin, constantly just one step away from doing something desperate. Something ravenous.
  • It wasn’t always this way. Once the house of Bokuto was noble. Riches and property and a good name– It was all lost because of some long lost ancestor, who drank and gambled away their riches. Leaving the family with nothing.
  • Still, this story of once-had glory gives Koutarou hope. He convinces himself that if honor and power can be lost, then surely it can be won too. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t find a way to do it.
  • Koutarou and his family now works in the home that should have been his. An ornate, decorative mansion just next to the royal palace. The proximity alone means Koutarou is a frequent at the royal palace– and attends all of the royal ceremonies common people are allowed in.
  • He’s eight years old when he first sees the prince and his whole life changes forever

Keep reading

Imagine you and bestfriend!Woozi making too much noise from joking around in the study hall and getting lots of dirty looks from everyone around you two.