but i'm tired of scribbling it

do you ever think about how vriska always wanted to be a hero? it’s 3 a.m. and i’m tired and this might not make sense in the morning, but… well…

she grows up killing other kids so that her mother could survive. at first it seems to be merely the trope of “abused kid is a bully who just wants to be loved,” but there’s another layer of complexity there.

she starts killing other kids because she absolutely has to, before she’s old enough to understand right and wrong and the implications of killing another being. and then when she does become old enough, it means that she doesn’t see her childhood circumstances as something horrible that happened to her, she sees it as a collection of horrible things that she did.

and she can’t stop then, can she? that night finally happens, when she looks into the face of a troll she’s about to kill and realizes “this is a person just like me.” but it’s not like she can do anything about it. her lusus still needs to be fed. it’s what she’s done all her life.

she can’t stop now.

it’s awful, and she knows that. she might not know that in the sense that she sits down one day and thinks “what i’m doing is awful,” but she knows it in the uneasiness in her gut, in the tiny hesitation before the final blow.

she knows that. she also knows it’s necessary.

one day, she meets terezi.

all terezi wants to do is find criminals and execute them, and when terezi and vriska work together, terezi will stand over the body that vriska is about to feed to her lusus and announce proudly that their actions were all in the name of JUST1C3!

vriska believes her.

she wants to be a hero.

terezi is the first one to ever tell vriska that she is doing something just, something right. terezi tells vriska that her actions are heroic. that’s what terezi means to her, after a while: she is the first person to make vriska think she is good.

and then there’s doc scratch, and make her pay, and the game, and everything happens all at once and while not all of it is vriska’s fault, so much of it is. and terezi isn’t supporting her anymore, she doesn’t think vriska’s a good person. she goes off to fight noir because, for once, she wants to be the hero.

terezi kills her. she doesn’t get a chance.

terezi spends three years on the meteor alone. everything goes to shit, it’s game over, everyone’s dying, and terezi witnesses the destruction of everything she’s tried to protect, and she thinks, you know who would have fixed this? vriska.

since when is vriska the one who solves problems, who keeps people from killing each other? i mean, vriska? really? i mean, come on. think about it. literally, there is no other character who wouldn’t break out into laughter at the mere idea that vriska could possibly be a viable solution to anything.

but terezi tells john to rewrite the past three years and the entire universe in the process in order to keep vriska alive. because she thinks — no, she knows — that vriska can be a hero.

how does act 7 end? it ends with vriska not making it through the door, with vriska being left behind, because she decides that if she has to die, she’s gonna die fighting and she’s gonna die heroic.

and, of course, terezi goes to find her, because she will always, always always always always, believe that vriska is a hero.

mikkeneko replied to your post “I dreamed that someone tagged #YOUR POOR HAWKE on a (nonexistent)…”

Your poor Hawke! He doesn’t have enough surface area to be hugging all the cats AND the mabari AND Anders all at once!

Poor Hawke indeed, what a terrible thing! D: DOESN’T STOP HIM FROM TRYING! 8′D Luckily he’s a big man, he has a lot of surface area, a lot more than many others could boast. Optimal for hugging, even if it’s not QUITE enough for everything that needs hugging! :DDD