but i'm so tired because of my exams that i can't do anything good

anonymous asked:

I know your goal is probably to help others study and motivate them to do their best. But. Do you have any advice for the opposite? I feel extremely compelled to be perfect. And it has gotten to a point where I will spend hours rewriting a few notes until I'm happy with my handwriting. I can't go to bed knowing I have something I could be studying. The all nighters are becoming frequent and I don't know how relax. I feel so stupid for even saying all this. But I'm about to shatter completely.

Hello. This is actually something I’ve been going through as well, almost like an obsession. I’ll tell you my experience at the end of this ask. (Sorry, this is long. Can’t put it on read more rn, I’m on my phone)

I’m not saying that you should stop completely, but I’m saying that you should tone it down. At first, it’s not gonna be easy, you’re gonna keep thinking about how unproductive you are and what you could be doing, but you need to give yourself time to rest.

IF YOU DON’T STOP, YOU’RE ACTUALLY GONNA START TO BE LESS AND LESS PRODUCTIVE. Study is great, it’s amazing, but, just like anything else in life, it can’t be extreme. If you don’t give yourself some time to recharge, you’re gonna be learning less and less because of lack of focus and stamina.

Start like this: cut the all nighters. You are NOT gonna do something more productive by skipping sleep, in fact, you’re gonna start tearing yourself apart. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but the last thing you want to do is pass out during an exam or a class. GIVE YOUR BODY A REWARD AND S L E E P.

Wanna be more productive? Fine. Be. But take care of your body before anything else. You are not “losing time” by eating, sleeping, or even going for a walk. You’re not losing time by resting your brain for an hour.

You are not losing time by stopping. If anything, you are gaining future productivity.

Stop checking studyblr that often. Watch a movie, or a series. Listen to music. Clean your head. Stop thinking about failure and start being confident that you know enough. Celebrate every step, and don’t say you could have done more. What you’re doing is enough, even if you don’t think so. Start telling yourself that you’re “perfect” enough, and one day you’ll believe it.

Now, about me. If you follow me for some time, you may have read that I have abusive parents. Not getting into details on the subject, I’ve learned that anything below 100% is not good enough. I’m not gonna lie to you, to this day I have to tell myself otherwise. If I don’t, I’ll push too far and end up fucking everything up like I did years ago.
So, here’s the thing: you’re 12 and you just brought home your first “B” ever. Your parents start screaming, they take away everything you like and lock you in your room for three hours so you can “do something good with your time and study”. But there is a problem: you don’t get the subject. At all. It seems like there is a blockage and you’re starting to freak out. You have another test in two weeks and you don’t even know what it’s gonna be in it.
Two weeks later, you bring home a C.
That’s it. Hell starts. You’re only twelve and you’re already crying everyday you get home because your parents keep pressuring you to get better. You stay up until 3am cramming a subject you don’t even understand just so you can prove that you’re not gonna be a failure in life. Your teacher tells you that they’re disappointed, other grades start to slowly fall because you’re too tired to focus and you distance yourself from your friends more and more.
So yeah, you got that A. But at what coast?

Almost five years later and I still have the same mentality. Still the eternal feeling that I’ll never be good enough, the feeling that my grades define who I am as a person.

Yeah, I could be doing something else right now. I could just ignore your message and go study chemistry or something. But I’m not, because there’s more in life than being productive 24/7.

Sometimes you need to stop and tell yourself that is okay not to give your all every second of your day.

Give your all for a situation that actually deserves it, friend. Trust me.

Don’t try to be productive all the time, it’s not worth it. Relax, even if just for an hour.

Rest, eat, get hydrated, and take care. Good luck!! ❤️

2

I appreciate a natural look, as opposed to too made up. Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It’s like medicine - very healing. A woman who isn’t preoccupied with superficial things, who knows what is real and important. Someone who is willing to slum it every now and then. But mainly, whatever makes her happy.

anonymous asked:

Hello! First, I want to say I love your blog-you're like my go-to HP blog so thanks for running it and making it fabulous! Second, I have a question-how do u characterize Sirius? I am constantly torn between mischievous, flirtatious, party-boy Sirius who’s openly rebellious at home and an angry, conflicted, cruel Sirius who’s just really submissive around his family until the day he finally breaks. I'm planning on writing fic soon, and I just can't find a happy medium for him. Thanks in advance!

I was only gonna write one paragraph, oops.

Why not combine them?

11-year old Sirius who is used to doing as he is told, who blossoms at the possibilities at Hogwarts, who doesn’t button his shirt up all the way anymore and starts laughing out loud. But when he comes back from his first year at Hogwarts, he doesn’t dare speak up against the blatant prejudices he hears daily, even though his mate James spent most of the second semester repeating to Sirius that blood status doesn’t mean anything other than the title, that half blood doesn’t mean animal, that there’s no such thing as superior wizard families. He nods and smiles at the \"right people\" but pulls out a muggle novel at night that Remus lent to him.

12-year old Sirius who reads as much as he can about muggle history, awed that there’s an entire culture and history that he wasn’t aware of, that there are people who invented things that would make life so much easier. Sirius who excitedly tells his parents about it over Christmas dinner - certain that if they just know what he learnt, they’ll change their mind - and only gets sent to his room early, doesn’t get to open his first gift that night and lies on his bed confused as to why they don’t just want to understand. He tells the Potters about it in the summer, and they grin proudly at him and tell him he’s a good kid, give him another book to take with him to Hogwarts, this time about Muggle music.

13-year old Sirius who grows obsessed with Muggle music, first with the sweet poppy tunes on the radio that make him want to dance, and then later that year, when Peter comes back from the winter holiday, arms packed with magazines from the store around the corner that closed down and was just handing then away. He sees these young men with bizarre haircuts and piercings everywhere, complaining about things they thought weren’t right, and who recognises himself in them. He kisses a girl that year, winks at everyone and copies the poses from the muggle boys. He goes home for the summer and slams the bedroom door closed behind him, not even bothering to tell his family about what he learnt.

14-year old Sirius who doesn’t write letters home anymore, who asks McGonagall if he can stay at Hogwarts for the break, who sees his friends get gifts and presents from home, kind words that aren’t meant for him, who sits on his bed and has to remind himself not to cry almost daily. He learns that being beautiful is something he can use in his advantage, that if he smiles in the right way he can get whatever he wants, but that there’s little fun in knowing that they only care for how he looks. Is hands are shaking when he gets off the train at Kings Cross, they’re shaking all the way home, and tries to be quiet, but his stomach is churning, and he slams his hands down on the table at home and yells that they’re all wrong and he doesn’t agree with a single bit. He rages out everything he’s feeling until his father gets up to loom over him and he ends up just stammering apologies, stepping back so quickly he almost trips over his chair as he holds up his hands.

15-year old Sirius who grows out his hair as long as he can, spends part of his summer with James, spends a week working with him in a small muggle bakery and learns that he loves making things with his hands, only using his magic to add some good luck to the bread he sells to a young girl who told him she’s taking summer exams for an early college program. He accept hugs from Mum and Dad Potter, pretends not to see the worried glances they give him when they see the bruise on his cheekbone. He falls in love with the motorbike from the guy at the garage, greedily accepts the magazine the man gives him, laughing when he sees Sirius gaping at it. Going back to school is harder this time, Regulus not talking to him, the Slytherins always laughing behind his back and he’s so angry he ends up doing many things he regrets right after they happened.

16-year old Sirius who’s tired all the time, ignores the letters from home that tell him he needs to start looking for a girl to marry, who goes to introduction parties because it’s not worth the struggle to fight his parents. He wears his hair in a bun when he has to, defiantly lines his eyes with black and smirks when the girl he’s dancing with compliments him when his parents can hear. He flinches at sudden movements and doesn’t want to go home anymore, he cries when he gets a reply from his mother telling him he can’t spend summer at the Potters. He admits to Remus that he’s afraid almost all the time, and laughs shakily when Remus says he wouldn’t mind so much spending a full moon inside Grimmauld place.

Sirius who shows up at the Potters anyway that summer, eyes wide and blazing with anger, who yells at Mum Potter that he’s not going back ever, who grabs Dad Potter’s arm and pleads him to let him stay, just for a while, they promised they love him, didn’t they? He looks at James, waits until the horror stricken expression on his face changes into a determined nod, and then throws his arms around him. He holds on tight, presses his nose against the fabric of James’ pyjamas and tells him he’s the only brother he ever will need again.

17-year old Sirius who carefully starts doing things for himself, who works hard for his exams so he can make himself proud, not his parents. He only sighs when the letter of Gringotts comes that he’s disinherited, but smiles up at his friends, saying it’ll at least be a motivation to go to work if he has to support himself. He laughs when Remus rolls his eyes and James and Peter laugh, and he throws the letter in the air, turning it into large lion shaped fireworks, and lets it explode over the Slytherin table. The feeling of freedom is totally worth the detention.

anonymous asked:

Hey Cain I'm doing exams now and I'm extremely stressed. I can't sleep I can't eat. I fall asleep at 4am and I have to wake up at 7am. Its killing me and I can't eat at so. My appetite is gone. My body feels weak and I'm losing weight, but I'm already pretty small. I have back pains a muscle pains. My hair is getting thinner, my face is getting duller. And now I'm worried aabout exams and I'm getting all work over the side effects of my stress. I've tried everything I don't know what to do.

I have a feeling you meant to send this to @jagurox because that’s Cain’s handle and I’m Von (although he used to have a “v0n” in there so maybe that’s where confusion came in).  He’s Canadian, I’m American, and we’re about ten years apart in age, haa but we’re mutuals who like a lot of the same shit.

so maybe this wasn’t mean for me  but i’ll give you some input having been there, done that. every single thing you described fits easily into severe anxiety and it sounds like it’s really messing with your health so the best possible thing you can do is get yourself to a doctor (even if it’s your GP if you can’t get to a psychiatrist right away). I know you said you’ve tried everything but here are a few things in the meantime that you can try in addition to seeing a doctor, just in case you haven’t thought of them:

1. when it’s time to sleep, keep your cell phone and computer out of your bedroom and get rid of anything emitting light or cover them up with something dark and heavy if you can’t.  make sure you have a heavy curtain or shade over your window to keep unwanted light out too.  sounds obvious but even a sliver of light can make it very hard for some people to fall or stay asleep.
2. avoid caffeine after 2pm (assuming your goal is to sleep somewhere between 10pm-12am which sounds about right for a typical work or school schedule). that includes coffee, caffeinated tea, pills with caffeine (often found in headache medicine), sodas, etc. caffeine prevents you from sleeping and can also put you way on edge so it’s definitely something to minimize in your case (and I suspect you may consume too much if you can’t sleep and get tired as a result).
3. if you frequent websites, watch shows, or read material that has a tendency to make you anxious or upset, cut that out.
4. don’t hang out with anyone who causes drama or makes you a nervous wreck.  never worth it. if there’s anyone in your life like that, get away from it. 
5. exercise rigorously at least three times a week. you’ll naturally produce hormones that will make you feel better AND make yourself tired enough to sleep. this will also hit the “FEED ME” switch and stimulate your appetite.  just make sure you don’t exercise too close to when you want to go to sleep. also don’t nap right after exercising. sleep only when you’re going to bed.
6. i know you said you’re having trouble eating and have lost your appetite but even if it’s a small protein bar or a piece of fruit, give yourself reminders to eat something throughout the day. it’s easy to forget when you’re preoccupied. if you’re not particularly hungry or enthralled with the food, just eat them like you’re taking your vitamins or some medicine you need.
7. almost forgot: get a good playlist and some earbuds. better yet, go for some walks while listening. they’ve done studies on this and listening to your personal favorite music consistently proves to be one of the greatest stress relievers out there.

but above all: GO TO A DOCTOR.

good luck with your anxiety and feel better.