I know your goal is probably to help others study and motivate them to do their best. But. Do you have any advice for the opposite? I feel extremely compelled to be perfect. And it has gotten to a point where I will spend hours rewriting a few notes until I'm happy with my handwriting. I can't go to bed knowing I have something I could be studying. The all nighters are becoming frequent and I don't know how relax. I feel so stupid for even saying all this. But I'm about to shatter completely.
Hello. This is actually something I’ve been going through as well, almost like an obsession. I’ll tell you my experience at the end of this ask. (Sorry, this is long. Can’t put it on read more rn, I’m on my phone)
I’m not saying that you should stop completely, but I’m saying that you should tone it down. At first, it’s not gonna be easy, you’re gonna keep thinking about how unproductive you are and what you could be doing, but you need to give yourself time to rest.
IF YOU DON’T STOP, YOU’RE ACTUALLY GONNA START TO BE LESS AND LESS PRODUCTIVE. Study is great, it’s amazing, but, just like anything else in life, it can’t be extreme. If you don’t give yourself some time to recharge, you’re gonna be learning less and less because of lack of focus and stamina.
Start like this: cut the all nighters. You are NOT gonna do something more productive by skipping sleep, in fact, you’re gonna start tearing yourself apart. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but the last thing you want to do is pass out during an exam or a class. GIVE YOUR BODY A REWARD AND S L E E P.
Wanna be more productive? Fine. Be. But take care of your body before anything else. You are not “losing time” by eating, sleeping, or even going for a walk. You’re not losing time by resting your brain for an hour.
You are not losing time by stopping. If anything, you are gaining future productivity.
Stop checking studyblr that often. Watch a movie, or a series. Listen to music. Clean your head. Stop thinking about failure and start being confident that you know enough. Celebrate every step, and don’t say you could have done more. What you’re doing is enough, even if you don’t think so. Start telling yourself that you’re “perfect” enough, and one day you’ll believe it.
Now, about me. If you follow me for some time, you may have read that I have abusive parents. Not getting into details on the subject, I’ve learned that anything below 100% is not good enough. I’m not gonna lie to you, to this day I have to tell myself otherwise. If I don’t, I’ll push too far and end up fucking everything up like I did years ago.
So, here’s the thing: you’re 12 and you just brought home your first “B” ever. Your parents start screaming, they take away everything you like and lock you in your room for three hours so you can “do something good with your time and study”. But there is a problem: you don’t get the subject. At all. It seems like there is a blockage and you’re starting to freak out. You have another test in two weeks and you don’t even know what it’s gonna be in it.
Two weeks later, you bring home a C.
That’s it. Hell starts. You’re only twelve and you’re already crying everyday you get home because your parents keep pressuring you to get better. You stay up until 3am cramming a subject you don’t even understand just so you can prove that you’re not gonna be a failure in life. Your teacher tells you that they’re disappointed, other grades start to slowly fall because you’re too tired to focus and you distance yourself from your friends more and more.
So yeah, you got that A. But at what coast?
Almost five years later and I still have the same mentality. Still the eternal feeling that I’ll never be good enough, the feeling that my grades define who I am as a person.
Yeah, I could be doing something else right now. I could just ignore your message and go study chemistry or something. But I’m not, because there’s more in life than being productive 24/7.
Sometimes you need to stop and tell yourself that is okay not to give your all every second of your day.
Give your all for a situation that actually deserves it, friend. Trust me.
Don’t try to be productive all the time, it’s not worth it. Relax, even if just for an hour.
Rest, eat, get hydrated, and take care. Good luck!! ❤️