but i'm so drunk

For me, compassion and companionship are the enemies of depression, the best ways to fight it. Compassion for myself because I know I’m struggling. Companionship because I can’t fight it alone.
—  Hannah Hart in her book Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded

Been wanting to say this for a long time so here we go:

Can we please collectively stop making fun of the “meth fandom” or w/e the fuck nomenclature we’re using to describe real people who finally have a space and community to talk about their substance use? Like I’ve seen posts lump this part of tumblr in with literal fucking neo-nazis and if that doesn’t strike you as fucked up i don’t know what else i can fucking say to you.

I’ve even seen this shit from leftists. Like how can we recognize that capitalism is built on the exploitation of labor and mass disenfranchisement of working class people - and then turn around and mock people who use stimulants to cope with the godawful hardships of that life? If you can’t recognize meth users humanity, then what the fuck are you even fighting for?

I have adhd, but I still abuse my stimulants because my body literally cannot produce the amount of labor necessary for my survival. Thousands of others do the same. We’re not that different from the people on here using meth. Everywhere ~drug users~ turn, we’re denied the chance to talk about our own experiences in our own fucking language. We’re denied the chance to find our own community and engage with it on our own terms. Especially us women who use. Why propagate that shit here? What do you gain by mocking us and people like those in the ~meth fandom~? Who are you helping?

And i know this probably describes only a sliver of my followers, but I hope it’ll reach further. Because honestly? Some people on here need to step the fuck off. 

I’ve never seen a post on my dash condemning this phenomenon (which is often treated like a joke, like it’s not about you know, real fucking people), and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m not saying no one’s said this before, but I sure as fuck haven’t seen it. We can do better. We must do better.


He seduced Viktor at the last GPF banquet and just left him.


thanks to @hedaclarks for the beautiful text

Pandemonium buzzed and twirled around him, the party winding down and people beginning to leave as the bells had been and gone ringing in the New Year for all. Alec had taken up watch at the end of the bar since his capacity for social interaction had been reached a while ago and the flirty fae woman manning the bar had been steadily feeding Alec colourful fizzy cocktails for the past hour. To say Alec was was feeling pleasantly buzzed was a bit of an understatement.  

Alec’s hands felt fuzzy like a layer of static fluff under his palms making everything feel soft and furry when he touched it. He tried resting his face on the bar because his head felt heavy and because a fuzzy nap sounded nice.


That hurt.

Alec frowned. That didn’t seem right. His hands resting against the bar felt nice. But his face hurt. There was a connection there, a failed one but one nonetheless. Something buzzed at the back of his mind with an answer like a frayed sparking wire.

“Alexander are you alright?”

Alec used the bar as leverage to twist his head towards the speaker. 

“Magnus!” Alec cried out a touch to loud. He shushed himself because he was polite like that. His mother raised him to be polite. Alec frowned. He needed another drink. To drown out his mother’s face and words and voice. Alec stretched out his hand for a glass near his head and almost knocked it off the bar with his clumsy fingers. Alec pouted and tried again. The glass was picked up and moved out of his reach with a fond chuckle. 

“I think you’ve had quite enough darling let’s get you home shall we,” Magnus said softly running a hand through Alec’s hair. Alec’s eyes shut as he purred under the attention. 

“Yeah, home,” Alec mumbled happily. 

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