umm AU where harry just went through a really bad breakup in which his douchey ex-fiance leaves him for a huge corporate job offer. which yeah good for him except he was a jerk about the breakup, left him via phone message, and didn’t look back. which sucks all on it’s own but now harry finds himself confused because he’s not nearly as sad as he thinks he should be about it, and frustrated because he has two non refundable tickets for a honeymoon cruise. enter childhood best friend louis, who he calls up the night before while packing and is all like, “ummmm so. how’s a free vacation sound?” and louis’s like “nothing’s free in life harold…. but….. i’m listening.” it honestly doesn’t even take anything to convince louis. most of his protest is just for show because harry can already hear him dragging his suitcase out of the closet. so.
so they arrive at the dock where they’re supposed to board the ship and louis’s like “um so why is everyone holding hands lol” and harry’s all “yeah…. so… funny story… ummmm i got dumped and this is my honeymoon cruise surprise :)” (louis is tempted to throw him overboard. they haven’t even gotten on the boat yet but the sentiment is still the same). but now that louis knows the whole story (which harry tells amidst deep frowns and lots of tears), he is determined to be the best fake™ husband ever. so he signs them up for all the couples activities because “go big or go home styles. or tomlinson. styles-tomlinson? who are we again?” and they end up doing better than most of the couples there when it comes down to How Well Do You Know Your Spouse trivia. it should be embarrassing really, because everyone around the ship already knows them as the dream team and it’s only been 4 days.
cue dramatic confessions, bed sharing that means nothing till it means something, an obscene amount of nautical references, and cameos by the rest of one direction lol