but i'm happy and i needed to tell someone

Love You Forever (Spencer Reid x Reader)

A/N: Hey guys! I’m still shook about last nights episode and i don’t think I will ever recover 😂 here is a very depressing but touching imagine. I might have cried writing this so I hope you guys don’t.
Warnings: death, depression, low self esteem
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Prompt: the reader and Spencer are best friends at the BAU and the reader is in love with spencer and everyone can see it except him so when maeve gets taken the reader manages to save her but ends up getting killed
Request: ✅
Upcoming Imagine: reader struggles with body image issues…
2 years.
For two years you have been working at the BAU.
1 year 27 weeks.
That’s how long you have been in love with Spencer Reid.
The whole team knew once you told Penelope but even though Spencer is a genius, he sure is oblivious to love.
He has been your best friend but never showed any interest in being more than friends, which you respected, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
It hurt when you saw Spencer sitting by himself, reminding you that you couldn’t be his.
He’s so independent.
He’s independent until you make him depend on you.
When he bottles up emotions, you find a way to make him talk to you, opening him up to release anything that was on his mind.
He claims you were the only one who could do that.
And one night, he told you something that shattered your heart.
“Her name is Maeve and… I really like her…” you basically spaced off after that.
Are you not good enough?
Is that what it was?
You felt a tear fall down your cheek.
Damn it.
Good thing Spencer was looking at his lap, where he was sitting crisscross on the couch in front of you.
You quickly wiped the tear, but Spencer noticed.
“Y/N are you okay?” He asked a hint of concern in his voice.
“Yeah I'm… I’m really happy for you.” You said quietly.
By now, he knew something was up.
Thoughts fled his mind as he tried to profile your emotions.
“Is there something you want to tell me? Your holding back something. I will listen I promise.” He said reaching for your hand but you pulled back, knowing his touch is just going to make you nauseous.
“I'm… I’m okay. I promise. I’m just… I’m really happy for you. Im glad you… you found someone.” You said, the last part quiet and filled with disappointment.
He didn’t believe you.
He assumed you needed time alone so he patted your shoulder and left your apartment.
You did need the alone time.
Well time away from him.
You need to try to get over him, find a distraction before this gets out of hand.
Over the past month Spencer has told you all about Maeve and how important she was to him, stabbing you repeatedly in the heart as he rambled about her.
“She’s already the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I don’t care what she looks like.” He said staring at the ceiling.
You broke down, you couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Sorry I need to leave.” You said, your voice breaking as you sped away.
About a month after that, Maeve had gone missing and Spencer was torn.
It hurt you to see him like this, distant, scared and lost of hope.
He came to your door multiple times with red eyes and a runny nose.
You took care of him of course, but you were half tempted to hand him over to JJ so the pain would stop.
He could crumple in your arms as you stroked his soft hair, telling him it’s going to be okay.
He had even slept over a few times but the last time you couldn’t help it anymore.
When Spencer was sleeping, you kissed his forehead.
“Spencer Reid… I don’t know how I could fall in love with you so fast but… I guess it was just your personality and hearing your soft voice as you rambled about random stuff. But I love you. Not just as a friend but like… I would have liked to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to wake you up in the morning with coffee and shower you in kisses because you deserve the world. But, I know there’s someone else… to do that. I-I hope she treats you well because you deserve it. You deserve it and so much more.” You felt tears spill over your cheeks as you kissed his forehead once more before walking to the kitchen.
The next day, Spencer had put his life on the line.
You weren’t exactly sure what happened, but you know he risked his life.
Now you were on the way to the warehouse where Maeve was being held captive by Diane Turner.
You and the team walked in, guns out of holsters and out in front of you.
“You would kill your self for her?!” Diana yelled as Spencer stood in front of her with his hands in the air.
“Yes.” He said sincerely.
“Wait! Diane right? You had the thesis about suicide killing brain cells right?” You asked putting your gun back in its holster.
“Why do you care?” She snapped holding the gun tighter to Maeve’s head.
“It’s wrong. I read it. I’m actually the one who convinced Ms. Donovan to reject it. She knew it was wrong but I knew how a biased thesis like that would have never passed. Let me take her place. Killing Maeve won’t do you any good. But if you really want to kill someone… kill me.”
“Y/N what are you…”
“Let’s see how your thesis was wrong. I’m putting my life on the line. I’m willing to die. You have no proof that your thesis works. Let me be your test dummy. Do it shoot me.” You said throwing your gun to the side and taking off your FBI vest.
Multiple people were yelling.
“Put down the gun!”
“Y/N what the hell are you doing?”
“Stop taking off your vest.”
“Let her go.” You said keeping eye contact with her.
Diane slowly let go of Maeve and while she was doing so you charged at her, attempting to tackle her and take away your gun but you were interrupted by a loud boom.
You were shot in the pelvis, making you fall to the floor.
You could have swore that would have worked.
Your head hit the ground as you saw JJ run over to Maeve and Derek cuff Diane.
“Y/N Y/N hey look at me.” You heard Spencer say as your body was slightly lifted.
He pressed down on your wound, but nothing hurt.
“Hey your going to be okay.” He said brushing hair out of your face.
“No. No Spencer I’m not.” You said as you choked back tears.
“Don’t-don’t say that you will okay.” He said as tears filled his eyes.
“Spencer… I love you. I’ve loved you for-for a long time okay? Please take care of yourself. Please be careful. I love you so much I’m sorry I couldn’t do better.” You said choking on hot liquid that turned out to be blood.
You saw confusion and compassion in his eyes.
“No you-your going to live. Your going to live.” He repeated but you could already feel your body start to numb.
He was lost for words.
He wanted to say more but he was shocked and everything was coming together.
At that point he knew what was wrong with you that one night.
He now pieced together the little signs he never noticed until now.
How your pupils dilated when you looked at him.
How you got a little shy whenever he would touch you.
The redness in your cheeks when he would smile at you.
“I’m-I’m so sorry.” He said as tears fell down his face.
“You don’t have to-to be. Just know that I love you p-please.” You said with a faint smile.
His blood-covered hand shook as he hugged you tighter.
He started to cry.
Not just shed tears; he started to sob uncontrollably as he felt the last rise and fall of your chest.
“No no please. Someone help me please!” He yelled holding your faint body in his arms.
The medics finally got there and had you on life support, but it was your time.
You risked your life for Spencer’s happiness and if you could you would do it again.
All you wish of now, up in heaven, is that he keeps going.
That he lives a happy life and gets the care he deserves.

anonymous asked:

So I just found out that I'm gonna get to spend a month this summer on my lesbian aunts' farm and my gf's gonna come along with me and we're gonna help them with the cattle and stuff and I'm really excited bc I got to spend the summer there 3 years ago and it was so wonderful and I'm really looking forward to going back and getting to show my gf the farm and having her meet my aunts and it's gonna be really gay and beautiful and I just needed to tell someone

that sounds like a gay, heartwarming experience and i am so so happy for you anon

congrats my guy!!!!!1

anonymous asked:

I'm so happy that now Yuuri has someone for him whenever his anxious mind attacks him, because I would kill for someone to be there for me when that happens and tell me that they are gonna be there for me no matter what and hug me for like 10 minutes

We all need our own Victors in our lives tbh.

sad dirk headcanon time

so in episode 5 when todd’s putting bright pink plasters on dirk’s scratched up face, dirk looks disappointed and wistful and asks ‘why did they have to be pink?’ kinda sadly. this just seemed a lil odd to me, considering dirk obvs has a thing for bright colours and is anything but hyper-masculine

likely reason: dirk just isn’t a fan of pink, it’s not his colour, whatever

my sad reason: dirk associates pink with bad things

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tumblytunes  asked:

How are you so happy and kind and loving all the time? Like please tell me. Most of the time I'm trying not to immediately snap at people after I was cut off from Mary Jane. I really need tips cuz I feel really mean :(

i’ve gotten to a place where i’m very secure with myself & i never let people have that much control over me. I just don’t think it’s always necessary to respond to everyone’s bullshit. You’ll never see me going back and forth with someone about something. I don’t have the time nor the energy for that. Also I don’t feel the need to prove anything. I know me. You have to understand that people are always going to have an opinion about something, so if i sat and tried to please other people i’d drive myself crazy. Besides… what people think about me doesn’t alter how I feel about myself. If someone has something negative to say to me, about me or around me I remove them from my space. Never let anyone raise or lower your vibrations without your permission.

find your chill.

anonymous asked:

hello!!! i love ur blog btw but i just wanted to say something. i'm so ABSOLUTELY in love with my boyfriend and i literally see him every day and we hang out almost every day and i just left his house like 3 hours ago but i miss him so much already and i just wanna kiss him and hold him and tell him how much i love him bc he's so soft and pretty and i love him!!! AHHHH i'm sorry i just really needed to tell someone about what i'm feeling. I hope everything is going okay for you! have a nice day!

again, goals literally like everyone’s goals tbh. Reading your things like this makes me feel so happy honestly that someone feels this way, gives me hope.


anonymous asked:

Could you please help me? I'm gay, but I just can't come to terms with it. I want to live a happy life, but I'm being constantly haunted by the idea that I'm not normal and I've been suicidal for a long time because of that (among other things such as not being able to get married or have kids). Constantly being around homophobic people makes me think there's really something wrong with me. How do I accept it? What should I say if someone tells me I'm not normal because I'm gay?

First thing’s first: if you’re feeling depressed and suicidal, I highly recommend reaching out to a professional. Get the help you need so you can live a happy, healthy life.

Moving on, you seem to be under the false impression that “normal” 1) exists and 2) is a good thing. Everyone is “weird” or “odd” in their own way. I’m straight, and I’d wager I have a lot more quirks and eccentricities than you do. I’m weird as fuck. And who the fuck wants to be normal? Normal people don’t make history. Normal people aren’t remembered. Nothing good comes from being normal.

Normal is B O R I N G.

You are stressing over something beyond your control and aspiring toward something that will get you nowhere. Ain’t nothing wrong with being gay. There are places where you can certainly get married and have kids. And those normal people you worship are likely the biggest weirdos of them all, and probably not in a good way. Please stop beating yourself up for being true to who you are. Anyone who judges you for something as trivial as your sexual orientation does not deserve to be in your amazing company.

@ those people who put those rlly sweet cutesy messages in the tags reminding ppl to take care of themselves: u are the angels that this world needs


What if I told you
Who I really was
What if I let you in on my charade?
What if I told you
What was really going on
No more masks and no more parts to play

ask--roxystrider  asked:

@ John: I care so much about you all I hope for is that you are happy and safe. I would tell you that I love you more often and hang out with you more, but you have so many people for you there I doubt I would make a difference, Though if you ever need to talk to someone, or have no one to talk to I'm here for you and I always will be. (part 1 oops lmao)

Time = ________

Building everything takes time
Unlike this short cryptical rhyme,
It was snappy.

I’d like to have much more time
Without having to say so in rhyme,
To be sappy.

Does your watch have the time
To tell my heart’s rhyme?
I’d be happy.

Where goes all this time
To change my actions and rhyme,
Dear chappy?

anonymous asked:

ahh my longtime crush kissed me today!!!! (which was my first kiss, and it was so much lovelier than i could have imagined) I can't believe it, he likes me back! we cuddled and he kept giving me hugs and forehead kisses and he didn't mind that it was in front of other people! I just needed to tell someone because I'm bursting ahhhh !!! x

That is wonderful! Im so happy for you!!!

anonymous asked:

My therapist was telling me all the things Ive ever wanted. It was him basically 5 minutes of him telling me how much he cares, and other stuff too. It only took a few moments for the happiness to melt into some other feelings. I have issues naming emotions, but it felt like disgust? Maybe fear? And also like I needed to cry? I'm planning on bringing it up, but I dont want him to think I dont want it. I've never had someone be so kind, even when I'm being difficult. So why am I not ecstatic?

hi anon,

sometimes when people have never had an experience that they deeply want, and then they finally get it, it feels wrong. It’s uncomfortable to suddenly change your expected patterns of interaction with other people and the world, and so the change- even though it’s a positive change -can be unpleasant and scary, at least initially. I wonder if that’s what you were experiencing. It could also be other things- like, maybe you didn’t trust that your therapist was telling you the truth, or that you were uncomfortable with the idea that what he was saying was true. Take care of yourself and keeping talking to your therapist about what’s going on- take care :) 

Klance Soulmate AU

With an angsty twist, cause I’m horrible

  • Lance and Keith meet at the Garrison and have a horrible introduction because Lance tripped over nothing while passing Keith, but swears that Keith did it. 
  • They keep being forced to spend time with each other due to their mutual friends and soon discover (to their mutual horror) that they have a lot of things in common. 
    • “You have a hover bike? Take me for a ride right now, go over every jump, and don’t you dare go slow!”
    • “You like rollercoasters? Shiro hates them and I never have anyone to go on them with! We’re going to the amusement park tomorrow.” 
    • “You’ve never seen Mean Girls?! This is an outrage! Outrage I tell you! You’re coming over to my room and we’re having a movie night.” 
    • “Hey I didn’t fail my calculus test, wanna play Mario Kart to celebrate?” “Alright, but if you blue shell me again you’re fucking dead.”
  • Lance realizes that he’s fallen hard for Keith and immediately begins to panic because oh no, oh fuck no, oh god no!  Lance fucked up, he fucked up so bad. It’s bad enough that he fell for someone who isn’t his soulmate, but he had to fall for someone who has already found their soulmate and has a happy relationship with them.
    • Because it’s common knowledge around the Garrison that the name on the palm of Keith’s right hand is ’Shirogane Takashi‘  

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Hope and Pray

for Cisco week(❤️) can you do an ask where the reader is recently diagnosed with endometriosis and tells Cisco(her boyfriend) and is really apologetic and scared that she won’t be able to have kids but he’s super sweet about it in an adorable Cisco way?? sorry if that’s too specific, but with my own recent endo diagnosis I think it’d be nice to read c: ) -Anon

This one’s for you,babygirl.

y/m/n= Your mother’s name

Originally posted by coupleromance

“Sweetie, I’m so sorry” Caitlin’s voice sounded concern when you talked to her on the phone after leaving the doctor. You had been crying for a long time, just barely making it into your car. 

You let out another sob as you tried not to cry loudly, with your phone still in your ear. Everything hurt. Cisco was so ready and so happy to start a family after your two year marriage. Then only to hear this news….You wanted to just crawl in bed and never leave.Now you don’t know if you’ll be able to have kids.

“Cisco wanted a little girl,” You sniffled out. “He was gonna name her y/m/n…after my mother…and now there’s a 15% chance of that ever happening”

Caitlin wanted to cry for you. She use to hear Cisco come into the lab, happily talking about you and him having a family and what he wanted the baby to be. Just to hear that she has a very low chance…It was heartbreaking.

“Do you want me to be with you when you tell him?”

You sniffled again, sighing deeply.”No it’s okay…I gotta do this myself,”

After the phone conversation, you drove home, scared and nervous. 

You hated seeing Cisco’s hopes get crushed because he would always lock himself up and away from others. You didn’t want to be the cause of that.

You parked and slowly got out of your car, wiping your tears away, making sure he doesn’t see you cry. 

“Cisco?” You called out, opening the door. You heard the sounds of dishes being put away and the sink on. Cisco stuck his head from the side, looking at you. When he sees you, he smiles and turns off the sink. “Hey baby, how’d the doctor visit go?”

You sighed shakily. It was now or never.

Seeing your scared look and the unshed tears in your eyes, his smiled slowly dropped.”What’s wrong?”

You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. “I have something to tell you,”

Cisco nodded, pulling you to the couch.”Okay, tell me,” 

You sat next to him, letting a tear fall. this scared him. This must be serious. 

“The d-doctor…umm” you trailed off, not looking at him.”He um…told me that I have Endometriosis….”

When you finally looked at Cisco, all of the color in his face turned pale.His eyes looked seriously heartbroken. 

“A-are you gonna be alright?” He stuttered out in shock and confusion. He knew what it was but….He couldn’t believe it.

You started crying again, letting the tears fall so freely. “I’m so sorry, Cisco. I know how we talked about having a family and how you were so ready…but the doctor says it’s incurable and that i may never have children..”

Cisco ran his fingers through his hair, looking away from you, only causing you to be more scared that he’ll leave.

but he looked at you again and just pulled you in a hug, letting you cry on his shoulders. “We’ll get through this okay?” He whispers in your ear. You nod, not trusting your voice.

“It’s gonna be okay, Y/N.” He says again, rocking you. “We can always adopt a child, we’ll pull through this together.”

You pulled away, looking at him with your tearful eyes. A smiled twitching on your face. “Really? You’ll want to adopt?”

Cisco smiled a little,wiping away your tears.”To tell you the truth, I know having a family is a bigger dream for you and I’ll do anything to make you happy,”

You let out a breathy chuckle and kissed him long and passionately.

You were glad to marry someone like Cisco. 

He made everything a little less painless.

A/N: Okay, to be honest. I cried writing this. I have a friend who’s also going through this with her husband so writing this was like a personal experience for me and based off how she told me and her husband so I really hope this made you happy and please tell me what you think. 

And If anyone ever needs someone to talk to, my Ask box and inbox are always open

love you all

reedrgale  asked:

Alright, tell me about Cove!

01. Full name: Secret Cove Aquino (…hence why she goes by “Cove”)
02. Best friend: Ha, who needs friends! Would probably never admit that it’s either Jax or Tlaloc, because what is genuine affection
03. Sexuality: … technophile…? Or pansexual. I don’t think she has a preference.
04. Favorite color: Green! and blue
05. Relationship status: Single pringle (and bitter)
06. Ideal mate: Someone who understands what the hell she’s saying about analytics. Allows snark. It’d be cool if they were buff as heck, too.
07. Turn-ons: KNowing your shit when it comes to computers and gaming, but not being an ass about it (and maybe a little praise her direction.)
08. Favorite food: Doritos …no, its probably actually doritos
09. Crushes: Had a crush weird stalker crush on Deniz, probably plenty more on other people
10. Favorite music: Electronic and house
11. Biggest fear: Having to make a life changing decision without the right information or time
12. Biggest fantasy: Having actual statistics on turf wars to manipulate with analysis CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW COOL THAT’D BE
13. Bad habits: Playing MMOs until salty, snoopy through people’s stuff, climbing through windows instead of using the door
14. Biggest regret: Not spending more time with her dad
15. Best kept secrets: Does a lot more ‘people watching’ and sneaking around then she cares to admit 
16. Last thought: “No one on this team KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING!!! ….Except me! …Probably.”
17. Worst romantic experience: Not really her own, but being a constant 3rd wheel is the worst
18. Biggest insecurity: Never really feeling like she belongs anywhere
19. Weapon of choice: Her heavy splattling, Gatalina 
20. Role Model: Some … squid astronaut and maybe like… squid… Ada Lovelace… >m>;; Really cool STEM people, you feel?

Original ‘get to know your character’ meme here!

Shades Darker

Summery: Bucky falls in love and believes that he can’t love her.

Warnings: hints to racism??

Word Count: 800+

A/N: this is the first time I’ve done something in the 3rd person or this style. I wanna try different things to find what I’m really good at so feedback would be greatly appreciated, thank you. This is for all us beautiful WOC who don’t get enough in mainstream media (Priyanka Chopra slays my life). *gifs not mine @helllaellla (I should pay you to help me but I’m poor so love and bread will have to do) @bovaria @marvel-ash @marvelfanfichq @givebuckyhisplums2k16 @starstar1012 @fairy-frills @annadier @buckystories

Originally posted by fantasyimagine

Originally posted by peeceeourheartbeat

Her smile was the thing he noticed first. Then her hair, her eyes, and her body. The last thing he noticed was her skin, it looked smooth and he wondered what it would feel like. But it was a few shades darker than his, and this filled him with sadness.

In the 30s loving someone from a different race was frowned upon, if not illegal, and Bucky hadn’t really adjusted to life in the 21st century. So he felt ashamed of falling for her, and he fell hard.

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