but i'm gonna start using this

the funniest thing about K/ancers posting stuff like “Ship what you want” and “You’re not a bad person for shipping [Ka//ura, Sh/eith, Sh/ance]” in the ship tags is, like

we are fucking aware of that

if you really wanted to help us you could start by telling your side of the fandom that someone’s fictional preferences don’t determine their ~moral high ground~ since they obviously refuse to listen to anything we have to say

Remember how there used to be all this hype about the Wonder Woman movie, but then nerdy men started saying shit like, “Well I’m going to see it, but sales will probably be low cuz it’s a woman lead.” and suddenly so much of the hype is gone?

things that make me happy:
• cats purring
• the smell of the ocean
• cursive
• perfume bottles
• sleeping in
• making people laugh

dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes

anonymous asked:

pls give us some fluffy klance headcanons i'm starving

i’m literally just.. gonna pick some stuff i saved in my drafts randomly lmao

  • the first time they properly hug, they have that classic “never letting go till someone starts coughing behind them” moment. when they realize for how much they’ve held each other, they separate at the speed of light blushing profusely
  • now that the paladins know there’s a space mall, lance is determined to ask keith on a date there, so he pretends they have to go for a mission. “soooo, coran told me we have to get something for him at the space mall and specifically said he wants you and me to go get it for him” “are you sure? i’ve talked to him 10 minutes ago and he didn’t mention anything?” “uh…yeah? he told me ‘cause i’m his favourite paladin duh!” “alright let’s go”. so once they’re there lance confesses there was no commission to do for coran he just wanted to ask him out and keith smiles fondly, takes his hand and they walk together around the shops
  • supposing lance was jealous of keith during 2x06, i want him to ask keith again about him and allura. “you know i just wanna make sure….not that i like you or anything…” “lance. you know there’s nothing between me and the princess i just wanted to see how long it would take for you to confess”
  • i’m not exactly fond of angst, but near death experience love confessions are starting to grow on me so there’s that
  • red and blue are married and therefore have a deep connection so they spill to their respective paladins what the other thinks of them and :)
  • or even better…. meeting some aliens that can read minds or something and one of them is like “the red paladin is in love with one of u” and lance *laughs nervously* “ahah it can’t be me right” keith: stares at the camera
  • i want!! more lance gushing over keith but this time keith actually hears him and does the same back. basically the next time he notices lance hanging around the hall, he brings shiro with him and starts talking about how amazing lance is and makes sure he hears him
  • lance being aware!!! of the effect his flirting has on keith to the point he flirts with him pratically everyday and keith doesn’t know if he can’t handle it and shiro has to listen to every of his love problems
  • keith being able to recognize lance’s smell. i assume he likes to put cologne and smell nice, so keith’s pining ass would probably recognize his scent even a mile away. “still no news on lance?” “he’s coming back. i can smell his perfume” “how the hell do you know that” “….. it’s a … galra thing” (it’s not)
  • keith dragging lance along his plan to help shiro and allura get together but in the process they manage to resolve their own feelings
  • once in an established relationship, i want them not only to be a power couple, but to be so proud of it they actually brag about it with the enemies they meet
  • lance coming up with the most silliest pick up lines just to make keith laugh: “are you a tv? because i would watch you all day” “lance please” “only the best pick up lines for the best boyfriend” “i’m pretty sure you’re talking about yourself then” hashtag plan backfired
  • keith struggling about finding lance a gift once he knows his bday is coming up, so he goes on a solo mission to try and find a planet that has nice flowers in it. but he doesn’t have the courage to give the bouquet to him, so he writes him a card and leaves them in front of his room’s door. “most beautiful flowers for the most beautiful boy i know” keith thinks he’s slick because lance doesn’t know his handwriting, but he actually does, so the next day lance puts a card under his door that said “thank you -L” and keith falls on the floor
  • lance was very popular in class back at the garrison because of his friendly personality and keith tells that to him one day and how much he actually wanted to be his friend and lance is like “you know….there was this guy at the garrison, he was good at many things, except talking to people. but…. i liked him anyway”
  • keith saying that he doesn’t smile often and lance retorting “you’re not that grumpy i’ve seen you smile” “what do you mean” “You know….that smile you do when your eyes are shining…. like y’all have seen right” shiro: lance i’m pretty sure you’re either imagining it or he smiles like that just at you. cue a very flustered lance leaving the room
  •  this is super overused but i love the idea of keith telling lance “I’ve already lost Shiro I can’t lose you too” and then hugging him
  • “are you a tree? because i pine for you” “lance why are you practising your pick up lines with me” “Ha..ha….of course….just…practising.”
  • if lance can surf i really want to see him teaching keith how to please beach episode i need you
  • blatant flirting!!!! without realizing that it’s flirting!!! which is basically what they do in canon but you know….basically a “everybody can tell except them” kind of situation
  • cheek kisses, because i live for them, even better if it’s something done on impulse and unexpected
  • keith watching lance proudly doing something and accidentally slipping “that’s my lance” out loud. shiro: i didn’t know you two were dating? keith: i left the stove open i gotta go
  • keith and lance have never actually referred to each other as friends and i want that this is not a romantic thing but i just need to hear them saying “he’s my friend” ya feel
  • lance meeting a very awake keith in the middle of the night and asking him what’s wrong. “trouble sleeping?” “yeah” “is it because you’ve been thinking about me? :3″ “GOODNIGHT LANCE”

ok i hope i satisfied you enough lol <3

PJO/HOO characters as things my friends have said (spring 2017 edition)
  • Nico: The gods got halfway through me and said "it's useless" and threw me in the reject pile yet here i am!
  • Sally: *notices divorce papers* OwO what's this?
  • Percy: I SCREAM BUT THE GODS WON'T LISTEN
  • Annabeth: Appreciate my science you ungrateful mango
  • Octavian: Do you fuk wit da war?
  • Paul blofis: I look like the creepy uncle at the barbecue who comments too much on your khaki shorts
  • Leo: FUCK PIZZA CRUST *proceeds to try and make a sassy exit but instead face plants into the ground*
  • Jason: *whispers* who am-*sings loudly* WHO AM I
  • Hazel: Like this vine if you've ever..... Died.... Inside Before
  • Reyna: I'm starting a new band called "Tragically Queer". You can find us collabing with panic at the dick in the near future.
  • Frank: Leave me and my bae alone you meme lords
  • Piper: might as well call me your waitress CUS I'M GONNA BE SERVIN UP SOME TEA FOR YOU TONIGHT LADIES
  • Will: My mom said i can't hang out tonight

you would think as people get older, they get less and less petty, but seeing CC literally change her twitter bio to “creator of the Shadowhunters…” is just so childish… why would you give them the rights to your books if you’ve never been pleased with the writers of the show??

Another 100 Random RP Starters

- does include some swearing; feel free to edit when sending in an ask to fit character’s speech

  • “No. No, no, no. Don’t you dare try to pin the blame on me.”
  • “Did you even bother to think about the consequences?”
  • “Listen here you useless paperclip!”
  • “Meerkats are murderous little bastards.”
  • “For the record, I hate everything.”
  • “Do you even remember me?”
  • “Did you know the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes may have killed a man?”
  • “I’m going to join NASA and fling myself into the sun.”
  • “I hope you know what you’re getting into.”
  • “Please don’t. Just… don’t.”

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I have so few things to remember my family by. They took everything from us.