but i'm done now with edits for today

2k down today… you’ll get chapter 3 in the evening if i’m satisfied with it, otherwise it’ll be tomorrow.

I did it. I defended my thesis. It was hard. I cried. That was embarrassing. Kinda wanna shake a couple people on my board for not listening to me when I tried to explain things they then criticized me for. And wanna hide from others in shame for fucking up, and crying. But it’s done. I got a B+. I just need to do some technical edits and hand it over, and then I will never, ever have to do an academic thesis ever, ever again.

It’s done.

Thank you to everyone who sent good thoughts and wishes my way, I appreciated it so much. <3 Your positive energy probably kept me from bawling like a total baby the whole time instead of just crying a bit some of the time. I appreciate it.



   She has many names, this graceful seductress that judges you with her cold green eyes. Call me Milady. You’ll be moaning yes, Mistress when she lets you speak again, your own name forgotten. You exist only when she allows you to. You beg on your knees, offer her riches, luxurious life, marriage - anything to keep her by your side. But she knows better. The rule is hers, she decides when the game is over. She leaves when she assured your parting with your life and money. In the end only one survives, and she is ever a survivor. 
   Once upon a time, her name was Anne. She was a girl of sixteen, young and troubled, wanting to escape the fate of a criminal. Count de la Fere should’ve been dead within a week after their marriage, but something inside her refused to kill him. Love is never not selfish. How could she think the past was so easy to erase? 
   She barely escaped from the hands of the one she loved, hands that used to hold her gentle and tight, promising to protect her from the world. This is the world of men and power. And she is a woman who seeks revenge. Sometimes in her sleep she sees fields covered with blue flowers, but in the daytime she dreams only of bittersweet taste of vengeance in her mouth. She remembers.


april 9th, 1990  happy 26th birthday, kristen jaymes stewart!

wishing a very happy birthday to a very special girl. you’ve touched so many lives and continue to make an unforgettable mark on mine each day. thank you, kristen, for showing me it’s okay to be me and that who i am is nothing to be ashamed of, but something i should take pride in. thank you for showing us your breathtaking talent in all the incredible women you’ve played, for gracing us with your smile, and being a friend to those who have needed and continue to need you as a source of positivity and inspiration in their lives. you are certainly one of a kind and anyone who knows you, either personally or as an admiring fan, is lucky to have you around. i’m proud to call myself a kristen stewart fan and i will always have your back. i love you, we love you, and we hope your birthday is just as amazing and memorable as you are. happy birthday, babydoll.


Happy Birthday Kand Minhyuk!

What can I say that hasn't been said about you yet? I truly don't know, a lot of people can express their feelings for your in such beautiful words and I regularly also try to express my feelings into words. Now that I really need to say what I want to say, now that the day of your birthday has finally arrived...well, all the words that I have been trying to say.... all the words that I wanted to say today and that I had been practicing...well...I don't really know where to start, I'm so awkward at the moment, it feels as though you were here next to me and I feel like hiding my face because I'm so embarrassed at the moment for a reason I can't understand...

Minhyuk, happy birthday, I guess that's what needs to be said fisrt. I wish you all the happiness in the world in this day and every day in your life, I only wish that you can be happy and achieve everything you want, that everything that you decide to do goes well and that you enjoy every day to the max and make the most beautiful memories every day.

....I'm running out of words, oh my god this is so difficult, not because I have nothing to say to you but because all the words are a mess inside my head, they are a total mess and I don't know what to say, where to start, I was out the whole day thinking that I should come back early to post my birthday wishes to you, I was thinking what to say but now everything is gone.
You understand though, right? Everything I feel about you is so easy and yet so difficult to express in words. In normal days I'm always here on this side of the world expressing my love to you, but when it comes to put it in beautiful words or when it comes to write down my thoughts...geez I feel my heart aching and I feel myself running short of breath.

I notice so many things about you, you came into my life so suddenly and started to make it better just like that and I want to thank you for that. I'm always saying stuff like ''you're my oxygen, you're my air, you're the reason that I breathe, I live for you'' and such, it may be a little borderline creepy but when I see you...I do run short of breath, the effect you have on me is that strong. I don't know how it happened, I don't know how I suddenly started stanning you...it just happened, it happened so naturally and now you're part of my everyday life, seeing your smile is part of my every day life and I'm happy that I can see it, your smile makes me smile, and I want you to smile every day, I want you to be happy, above all, I want you to be happy.

The moment I noticed that it was you the one who became my ulti bias... I knew there was no turning back, once someone falls for you...well... it's hard to forget you, at least to me, I'm sure that i wouldn't, you're my ideal type, you're the person I like the most in this world, you're someone I want people to cherish because you deserve all the love in this world. You're hardworking, sometimes you kind of look down on yourself and understimate you, but you know? you're the best there is, you really are the best. I would say ''don't let anyone tell you otherwise'' but you're the one who says it isn't like that so I don't know what to say OTL. You know you are cute right? But I won't say it since you dislike being called cute.

I hope you one day show us how you make all those floral arrangements that Yonghwa mentioned once. :) It would be nice to see. 

um.... I guess this it for the meantime... I don't know what else to say, not because I don't know but because the words left me even though I wanted to write so much about you but right now... my words left me. I'm so sorry, I wish I could say more, I really want to say more...

Well... I love you, but you know that right? even though I'm just one more fan in the sea of fans that follow you, I hope that one day you get to know...how much I love you. At least for now I know that you saw the heart I made for you back in January =) And again, I love you...so much I can't even express it with words.

May this day bring you happiness and lots of cake =)