but i'm broke

I
The day you first smiled at me,
you were eleven and I was twelve
and she didn’t hit me back home.
Little fairy, you have always fulfilled
my deepest wishes.

II
When you called me your friend,
you were dressed in purple
and my stomach didn’t hurt as we danced.
I wondered if I should have kissed you then,
but you were happy with him
and that was enough.


III
I dried your tears because I cared.
Believe me,
I tried to protect you from him after
I noticed I didn’t liked seeing you hurt.
If I could, I’d go back and tell you the truth
since the begining,
I’d do it in a heartbeat.


IV
My jacket suits you better than his arms,
and your lips will always be my favorite flavour.
It hurt me, too.
But I will never touch you unless you want me too,
I will always be whatever you need me to.
As long as you are okay, I’ll be that.


V
I did saw you.
You looked so beautiful when I made that joke,
and your touch stayed with me for months,
just like your birthday kiss
and the sensation of your palm touching mine.


VI
I also know I looked bad,
know that I felt bad  and couldn’t care less.
But when the summer came,
and you were here,
I cared.
That was me, being better for me,
because of you
for the first time.


VII
Kissing you that day was a stellar moment in my life,
following you around and beyond a first.
It felt like the last, too.
And the only one. 
For me, it still feels that way.


VIII
I would call you mine everyday,
I would call you my sun,
my stars and my moon,
everything and anything, you.
You have no idea how many times I did it when you weren’t there,
just to make it clear to them,
I wasn’t letting you go anywhere anytime soon.


IX
There’s times when I laugh
remembering my fear and reaction to your words.
Sometimes I forget we were both kids
and that you have never shied away from love.
But you loved me,
not him or someone else,
me.
Suddenly,
everyting else didn’t matter.


X
Having you in my arms
will always be my favorite position to sleep.
Your heart beating against my touch,
your breathing matching mine,
your dreams becoming ours.
Best moment of my day.


XI
What I did still matters to me,
everything felt like changing after
and you never looked at me the same way.
I mean it, and I still do:
I love you,
I do,
I will always love you,
and I will always be sorry about that.


XII
I’m sorry.
       I’m sorry.
              I’m sorry.
                      I’m sorry.
                             I’m sorry.
                                    I’m sorry.
                                           I’m sorry.


XIII
You are never coming back,
don’t you?
I love you still,
I will succumb to the infinity of it.


XIV
I’m sorry.

—  love story. // jackie on my mind. nc.

Cutthroat Kitchen Drinking Game:

  1. Drink when someone says, “I look down at my basket and realize I forgot (insert crucial ingredient)”
  2. Drink when someone smells/flips through the stack of cash when they get it 
  3. Drink when someone introduces themselves as a “fusion” chef of some kind
  4. Drink when Alton says, “You can turn to your opponent and say, Hey…”
  5. Drink when someone bids more than $8,000 on something
  6. Drink when the judge says something is dry or over-cooked
  7. Drink when someone says, “Oh hell no, that’s not going to be me so I have to win this!” or any variation
  8. Drink when someone uses alcohol and it creates bright red flames (there’s a technical term for it but I can’t spell it… flambay?)
  9. Drink when Alton makes a face at the chef when he standing behind the judge when the judge is tasting
  10. Drink when the judge says something is raw or inedible 
  11. Drink when someone gets caught in the doors or doesn’t make it through the doors in time
  12. Drink when someone makes something “deconstructed” 
  13. Drink when someone says, “I make (insert dish) everyday/all the time so I got this” or any variation
  14. Drink when someone uses the ice cream machine
Do you ever feel alone while you were surrounded by your friends?
—  eleflourishing

Happy belated birthday @dracoqueen22 !!!!!!!!!

I hope this year is super great for you and you get to accomplish everything you set your goals on and that all the good things happen to you because you deserve all the happiness in the world!!! <3 <3 <3

This is a mirror image to this pic (color version by @krinsyn), a scene from this fic here by @dracoqueen22 (mind the rating and tags and so forth)

anonymous asked:

But you don't know Benedict.

Ah, now this is a topic I’ve been lucky enough to discuss with some dear mutuals over the years, so let me see if I can do an answer justice.

Of course, we can never know the man, not truly; that is only for the very lucky few that are a part of his life, his world.  But there is so much we can deduce of him, based upon his work, his words, his public deeds and behavior.  

If you look at his work alone, you see incredible natural talent that he has refined through dedication & physical and mental discipline; you see a love of the written & spoken word; and most especially you see a keen & compassionate understanding of the human condition–for how else could he bring such breathtaking truth to all of his characters?  Even the wicked ones, like Khan & Richard III–he makes us feel that even they have reasons for the things they do, often rooted in emotional/psychological pain.  Though the evil they do is no less evil, we can sympathize to some degree, with what brought them to that place.  In my lifetime I have seen no player more truly & more lovingly—in Shakespeare’s words—hold the mirror up to nature.

In interviews & public appearances, you find a humble, self-effacing man, a bright wit, & sense of humor generous enough to make himself as likely a target of jesting as anyone or anything else.  He values home, hearth, family, the environment, although he could easily give over to hedonism on his bank account. How many times do we see him wearing the same clothes, carrying that same blue water bottle on set, even brown bagging his lunches at times?Choices, I’m sure, that reflect his commitment to simplicity and to reduce his carbon footprint. Benedict’s charitable works have been well-recorded on this site, so I’m not going to research it, but when I run across a post about it, I’ll be sure to reblog for info’s sake.

I won’t speak at length about his personal relationships, except to say that’s a man who loves his wife thoroughly. It would frankly break my heart to learn he had the same feet of clay of so many other public figures & celebrities in this regard—what I see tells me he and Sophie have the real thing. And that he guards his little family’s privacy so jealously is further testament to that.

In short, (though this runs long) I trust my eyes & ears, and they tell me to trust in the public image that is clearly on view.  I see a man who gives as much positive energy to the world as he can, and embraces life with complete joie de vivre.  And as I believe in the human soul, I see a most spectacular one that shines luminously, not only enhancing his unique physical beauty, but reminding me that true good is possible in a world that is often quite selfish & mean.

I could probably go on with dozens of more examples, but let me just finish with one of my favorite photos of him, which for me reflects (I hope) a bit of what I’ve written here.

Thank you for your ask–it was a delight to answer! ❤❤❤

do you ever just feel like you’re just completely worthless and unattractive on a physical and emotional level and you’re just never good enough because there’s always someone else that overpowers you with their pretty face and personality and you just instantly back down because you feel you have literally nothing to fight against with
—  (via sturzpoesie IG)

When your SUPER HANDSOME BOYFRIEND™ is also really cute and won’t let you go to work 🐤