but i will finish this meme guys

2

“You can’t just sit out here in the rain, boy.”

Modern runaway AU   ✨  Chance encounters at coffee shops, Graves inviting Credence into the warmth of his home, possible dubious intentions? Who knows?
(Also feat. a lil Graves that Kai doodled that’s been along for the entire ride)
Art blog: questionartbox
[Commissions] [Ko-Fi]

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The Defenders + Text Posts

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Tv Show Meme: [2/5] otps → jim and pam (the office)

“Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I ever had to do, which was just to wait. Don’t get me wrong—I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family that I do know how to make a photocopy. I didn’t need your help that many times.”

Notable Guests and Incidents From my Career at Chick-Fil-A
  • Elderly woman in the drive thru that insisted her meal should be free because the total cost was the same as her birth year. 
  • Obligatory group of shirtless frat boys. 
  • Guy who pulled me aside and demanded to know if we wash our floors with grease because the (freshly mopped) bathroom floor was slippery. 
  • Soccer mom that intentionally poured a large strawberry milkshake onto her son’s head as punishment. She asked for a new one.
  • Kid that stood on a table and sung Let It Go uninterrupted from start to finish. She received a standing ovation from everyone in the restaurant.
  • Teenage girl that paid for a to-go order, about $45 total, entirely in singles. 
  • College-age girl that asked if it was true that we were handing out free sandwiches to gays and, if so, if she could have one. I told her we weren’t doing that promotion at our location, but I’d buy her a sandwich if she gave me her number. She politely declined. 
  • Prank caller asking if we wanted to buy weed. The manager replied by saying we had a guy that sold to us for 10$/quarter and to call back when he could match that
  • Multiple instances of kids pooping in the playplace.
  • Another prank caller asking if we sold burgers. The manager (a different one) told them there was a Five Guys across the street, so why on earth bother looking for a burger here anyway?
  • That time Arthur Darville came in.
  • Drive thru guest who regularly asks, very specifically, for “coke zero, NOT diet coke with extra ice’
  • A basketball team from a local high school got banned for using their trays to slide down the slide.
  • This happened to be the same night that the staff all stayed an extra 20 minutes after the doors were locked and took turns using a tray to slide down the slide. 
  • Guy with a southern accent that addressed me as “you with the tits,” shoved his sweet tea under my nose for a refill and then, upon noticing my murderous expression, said, “Service with a smile, darlin’,” winked, and walked out.
  • Woman who told me in a watery voice, upon observing my name tag, that her recently deceased daughter’s name was Emily too. She comes back and chats with me occasionally. 
  • My coworker, Tyquan once finished his conversation with the guests by saying “Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease!” It is now a meme and basically all of our customers know him. 
  • That time I was explaining to one of the girls what Rocky Horror Picture Show was and this elderly couple leaned across the counter with wide eyes and exclaimed “You’ve never heard of Rocky Horror!?” And proceeded to yell their favorite audience participation lines. 
  • Guy who’s on the security staff of a local college frequently comes through the drive thru on his segway. We are all on a first name basis with him.
  • A skinny fuckboy who consistently, for over two years, has always come in wearing a trilby, carrying a copy of hamlet, and ordering “Coca-Cola” instead of coke. 
  • Some redneck-type guy with no front teeth that asked me if almost everybody on the staff is “saved” (they are.) He then asked me how old I was and if I was a nice Christian gal (I’m not).
  • Guy who geek-checked me for my Keyblade necklace. He didn’t play the spinoffs.
  • I went into the low fridge one day and the stack of juice boxes had toppled over, basically burying everything else. I asked the manager what happened, and he looked at me dead in the face and said “it was an appleanche.” 
  • Stoners calling to ask if we delivered.
  • Guy who said, in a deadass tone: “If you guys call it Chick-Fil-A because the staff is all chicks why don’t y’all wear more revealing shirts?” And I honestly didn’t even know what to do because a) our staff is not all women and b) Sir do you realize that this is a heavily Christian establishment I mean christ.
  • Unknown guest who left me several napkins with pictures drawn on them, labelled “tip.” To date it is the third tip I’ve ever gotten and by far the best.
  • That time we traded four large strip trays for eight cases of White Castle.
  • Woman in the drive thru that demanded to speak with the owner because we told her that she could not get six large cups of ice for free and would have to pay for a bag of ice instead.
  • Guy in a full replica batman cosplay. He came in, walked around, took some pictures with people, and left.
  • There was a baby boomer that screamed literally right in my face because his nuggets were cold. I had shit to do though and his breath with nasty so after six whole minutes of this (I timed it) I burst into tears and told him it was just my first day. Later the manager told me that she saw the whole thing and that she almost peed herself from laughing so hard and that I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. 

And finally…

  • Prank caller asking if we could do a birthday party for 52 lesbians.

anonymous asked:

The best thing about combat boots? No one but you will ever know you're wearing fuzzy socks during a mission.

i mean, yeah. you’d think that. 

instead the reality is that if you wear fuzzy socks on a combat mission, the universe can sense your fluff and will conspire against you. so naturally the one time you wear fuzzy socks on an op will also be the one time you’re fighting paste-pot-pete (who is apparently a real guy who really does run around doing glue crimes. i hate this century and i need to have a serious talk with steve and tony about the quality of villains these days. in my day we fought literal nazi monsters. now there’s an overeager dude with a souped-up gluegun. who i am not allowed to shoot for some reason) and you’ll wind up with your combat boots glued to the middle of the road in manhattan. 

and to prevent yourself from getting flattened by a taxi the hulk threw, you’ll have to jump right out of your boots, revealing your pink and yellow sparkly fuzzy socks to all the world. and the news station that just happens to be in the building you’re in front of. 

and then you have to finish the fight in fuzzy socks, which of course are going to be covered in glue and bits of debris by the end. 

and even though it was totally worth it to kick paste-pot-pete in the face, he did get blood on my fuzzy sock.  jerk.

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Another set! You guys sure love your bears in a3

Signs as things I've texted my friends pt. 2
  • Aries: I'm like that girl in teen movies that gets a makeover and is suddenly hot
  • Taurus: if you text me "oof" one more time you're getting blocked
  • Gemini: THAT POST WAS ME SHITTING ON THE KEYBOARD IDK HOW IT GOT POPULAR
  • Cancer: are u making friends, how is your mental health??
  • Leo: I WAS ABT TO MAKE A JOKE THEN U SaID THAT YIKES
  • Virgo: DO U WANT ME TO LURK FOR U
  • Libra: I feel like such a little lonely ass pussy bitch
  • Scorpio: if he had nice arms to grab I wouldn't care what my guy looked like
  • Sagittarius: 💲⛎©© 🔛 Ⓜ️💴 🆑ℹ️✝️ 🅱️ℹ️✝️☪️♓️
  • Capricorn: I just say yes to everyone i can't handle confrontation irl
  • Aquarius: it's ok not everyone has what it takes to be a meme
  • Pisces: I've watched the vid of me with ur dog on ur story TOO MANY TIMES

❛    well,    fuck me gently with a chainsaw.    ❜
❛    do i look like mother theresa    ?    ❜
❛    my teen - angst bullshit now has a body count.    ❜
❛    chaos is what killed the dinosaurs,    darling.    ❜
❛    you look like hell.    ❜
❛    yeah,    i just got back.    ❜
❛    are we going to prom or hell    ?    ❜
❛    god    !    i sound like a fucking psycho.    ❜
❛    i felt bad everytime i did it,    but i kept doing it anyway.    ❜
❛    now i know you understood everything.    ❜
❛    now that’s deep.    ❜
❛    there are no stupid questions.    ❜
❛    that’s the stupidest question i’ve ever heard.    ❜
❛    the extreme always seems to make an impression.    ❜
❛    what’s your damage    ?    ❜
❛    how very.    ❜
❛    i just killed my best friend.    ❜
❛    i can’t believe you did it.    ❜
❛    i was teasing.    ❜
❛    i loved you.    ❜
❛    there’s a new sheriff in town.    ❜
❛    you don’t deserve my fucking speech.    ❜
❛    so what’s the deal    ?    ❜
❛    what a waste    !    ❜
❛    oh,    the humanity    !    ❜
❛    our love is god.    ❜
❛    let’s go get a slushie.    ❜
❛    is your life perfect.    ❜
❛    i don’t really like my friends.    ❜
❛    maybe it’s time to take a vacation.    ❜
❛    now that you’re dead,    what are you gonna do with your life    ?    ❜
❛    why do you have to be such a mega - bitch    ?    ❜
❛    because i can be.    ❜
❛    did you have a brain tumour for breakfast    ?    ❜
❛    i say we just grow up,    be adults and die.    ❜
❛    if everyone jumped off a bridge,    would you    ?    ❜
❛    why are you pulling my dick    ?    ❜
❛    that knife is filthy.    ❜
❛    some people need different kinds of convincing than others.    ❜
❛    you’re beautiful.    ❜
❛    did that sound bitchy    ?    ❜
❛    this isn’t just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.    ❜
❛    you were nothing before you met me.    ❜
❛    she’s my best friend.    god,    i hate her.    ❜
❛    i shop,    therefore i am.    ❜
❛    a true friend’s work is never done.    ❜
❛    god had cursed me i think.    ❜
❛    we’ll crucify her.    ❜
❛    what’s the up - chuck factor on that    ?    ❜
❛    ugh,    such a pillowcase.    ❜
❛    nice guys finish last,    i should know.    ❜
❛    get a job.    ❜

to the anon that requested me this challenging request; i’m never going to work on a video for months now lmao

here you go guys! freakin is hinata gay or european parody

IT’S OVER 9000!!!!!!
Yes, guys, you are awesome! We passed 9000 followers!!! :D
Thank you sooooo, so much
So……….
Let’s talk about my beloved friend, Incineroar :)
Yes, I know that it’s typing is Fire/Dark
Then… why do I keep using it in every neutral (?) desing instead of, I don’t know, Blaziken?
Well, the answer is pretty simple, it’s just because it is a Fire/Fighting pokemon… Look at it!
To me looks like: “Crap, internet doesn’t like Fire/Fighting typing… Look at all this memes! We are already finishing the game! We can not change Incineroar, there’s no time!” “Oh, oh, I have an idea! Let’s just change it’s second type, like Fire/Dark or something, nobody will notice” “Really? What about Z-Move?” “Hmmm……. DARK lariat!”

But hey, I’m just a mad man with a notebook and some free time…

♥ KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE QUOTES
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❛ So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. ❜
  • ❛ There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. ❜
  • ❛ Manners maketh man. ❜
  • ❛ Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you. ❜
  • ❛ You throw away your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. ❜
  • ❛ You shot a dog just to get a fucking job! ❜
  • ❛ If you’re prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. ❜
  • ❛ You’re full of surprises. ❜
  • ❛ How deep does this fucking thing go? ❜
  • ❛ Is this the part where you say some… really bad pun? ❜
  • ❛ This ain’t that kind of movie, bruv. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry, love. Gotta save the world. ❜
  • ❛ I’m awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, no no no. I cancelled the gala because of you. ❜
  • ❛ Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? ❜
  • ❛ The suit is the modern gentleman’s armour. ❜
  • ❛ At least the girl’s got balls. ❜
  • ❛ I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. ❜
  • ❛ You dirty… little fucking prick… ❜
  • ❛ That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. ❜
  • ❛ I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far. ❜
  • ❛ Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson. ❜
  • ❛ What did you do to me? I had no control. I killed all those people. ❜
  • ❛ To Pee or Not to Pee? ❜
  • ❛ Not everybody had thanked you for that one. ❜
  • ❛ A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times: When he’s born, when he marries, and when he dies. ❜
  • ❛ I’m just a pleb. ❜
  • ❛ Being a gentleman is something one learns. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry about that, needed to let off a little steam. ❜
  • ❛ Looks like a lot of people are going to die. ❜
  • ❛ Do I look like I give a fuck? ❜
  • ❛ What a shame we both had to grow up. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry, sir, but why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? Am I the expendable candidate? ❜
  • ❛ You need to take that chip off your shoulder. ❜
  • ❛ This whiskey is amazing; you will shit. ❜
  • ❛ Who the fuck are you? Where am I? ❜
  • ❛ This knife can save your life. ❜
  • ❛ Mankind is the virus, and I’m the cure. ❜
  • ❛ You’re a bloody disgrace. ❜
  • ❛ I apologise for putting you in this position. You trained him well. ❜
  • ❛ A little gratitude would be nice. ❜
  • ❛ Fuck that guy, whoever he is! ❜
  • ❛ Do I look like I give a fuck? Just get it done. ❜
  • ❛ Perfect timing. Gentleman’s just finished. ❜
2

have a cheeky boy


(sorry i tried to do baku but it failed so bad im just posting kiri)

Heathers starters:
  • "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
  • "My teen-angst bullshit now has a body count."
  • "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs."
  • "The extreme always seems to make an impression."
  • "What is your damage, _____?"
  • "That 'what a cruel world, let's toss ourselves into the abyss' type of ambience."
  • "The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is heaven."
  • "Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?"
  • "I say we just grow up, be adults and die."
  • "Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?"
  • "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?"
  • "Some people need different kinds of convincing than others."
  • "She's my best friend. God, I hate her."
  • "Nice guys finish last, I should know."
  • "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being."