but i went to all this trouble

Larry: So I heard from Chug that you convinced Todd the cafeteria lady was a vampire. So how did that go?

Sally: You know exactly how that went.

Larry: I wasn’t aware you were able to stick you tongue thru that, are you pouting at me, Sally Face?

Sally: I will shove this grass down your throat so help me, Larry Face.

anonymous asked:

I'm so afraid that the reason I'm ace is because I was sexually abused by my older brother as a child and I feel so broken and try to force myself to enjoy sexual content but most of the time it just makes me sick

First off let me say that if your asexuality was caused by anything, that’s okay. Really it makes no different to me. And it really makes no difference to the community. If you went around saying “all aces are abuse victims and therefore not really ace” that’s a problem. But use I statements if they apply. Don’t be around people who try to fix you. Don’t try to fix yourself. If asexuality gives you peace please use the label. If you find later that dealing with stuff changes that, that’s okay too. I care more about you then I care about a possible stereotype that is only there to give you trouble anyways.

yukari and yuyuko are such a good couple honestly… hangin out for tea talkin abt their “kids” (youmu, ran and chen ofc) but yukari is such a bad mom can you imagine if she had kids. “yukari did you remember to pick the kids up from their soccer practice” “we have kids?” 

yuyuko is a good mom who makes the kids (but since she doesnt have children we are using youmu) wear protective gear like swim floaties for swimming or a big winter coat when its snowy

“yuyuko im half dead i think i’ll be ok” “youmu do you want to be 100% dead? no? then put this pool float on!! yukari went through all that trouble of finding that”

anonymous asked:

can i just say every single one of your posts is extremely funny. like the imagery is so vivid

thank u anon…youve warmed all three of my hearts.. 
im laughing though because i was just describing a thing that happened to me haha. i was watching 13 going on 30 and went to go get something upstairs, fell down the stairs while runnin back and a peppermint lodged in my throat. like you could see it bulging out a little (sorry to get all alien vs predator here) but it was a willy wonka chocolate factory tunnel scene of terror and i was the tunnel. oddly enough i could still breathe and i just had to drink a lot of water to melt it down which took weirdly longer than you’d think. even though it went down eventually it still felt like something was stuck in there for days. this wasnt even the first time i would meet trouble of a lozenge kind, as i did the exact same thing in a drive thru watching master of disguise before that. i guess it took me a little while to realize ‘you got to get this together. you can’t keep doing this’ (i didnt actually have that kind of self retrospection as a 8 yr old but its funny to imagine i really had a long sit down of thought about this) and cut ties w/ the mints completely

to this day ive never seen the rest of 13 going on 30 or master of disguise. fate has had other plans. perhaps for the better 

disciplinc  asked:

"but i thought it was too oc because it made reigen too nice" omfg im laughing (this is the OP of the post on their main blog btw!) i would have thought earlier that it's too oc too b/c it would mean reigen is spending money(!) on mob

haha I’m glad someone saw that! I felt bad for misjudging reigen but I was really surprised he went to all this trouble. I thought it must have happened after the seperation arc because he became noticeably nicer after that but no, that wasn’t until october, he’s just a really great mentor and he was feeling generous (and probably felt really bad for teru, the poor kid), and recall he buys mob food after many of the exorcisms. plus with more media attention he was getting bigger/more lucrative jobs around that time too.

but this was definitely more than I would have expected and it was a really sweet little omake. I especially appreciated how benevolently polite he was to ritsu/inviting him along despite ritsu…not liking him so much, because reigen’s a responsible adult and ritsu is a young child and adults shouldn’t be shitty/petty to kids under their care.

ok but sep arc was in october and this was summer so it must have been around the urban legends arc, because by mogami arc mob’s back to school and that’s immediately after plant dude arc. mob was also pretty bluntly sarcastic to reigen in the omake which is exactly how he was in the urban legends arc as well. the solo mission chapter is set here too in the manga, and the girls are all in school so I assume the manga skipped over a lot of July and August, assuming it started in May/June. like, urban legends is probably the only one that was arguably set in summer vacation time.

shou and serizawa weren’t around because WD arc hadn’t happened yet (a tragedy, I would have loved to see them). 

although dimple wasn’t around either, which is weird..I miss him a lot…

sometimes I think these omakes inhabit a place removed from the regular timeline and logic of the series but are interconnected within their own canon. I will cherish this omake for referencing the Shut Up and Eat incident if for no other reason

can someone tell me where this fanon trend of making ladybug hate chat’s puns, hate chat’s humor, hate chat’s flirting, and be all around irritated with him in general comes from? seriously. 

because 

Originally posted by akumatisedmari

ladybug

Originally posted by checkyesbraixen

loves chat

Originally posted by miraculousgifsbug

so much?????

Originally posted by aeotaetumbles

like just?????

Originally posted by miladybugnoir

i don’t know?????

Originally posted by ladynoir-aka-life

where you guys are getting this from??????

Magic Works (aka STORY TIME)

Sit down, witches young and old.  I have a story to share.

So, in late Summer 2014, I was held at gunpoint and my car was stolen.  Without going into too much detail, I was out at night running errands and two masked men cornered me in the parking lot of my apartment complex.  (The Mister was not with me at the time; he was in the apartment.)  In the trunk of my car was my witchy box, which contained ALL of my most important craft materials including my book of shadows, my tarot, and my most beloved trinkets.  (I had taken it on a witchy retreat the weekend before.)

When they stole my car, they used it in a bank robbery and then ditched the vehicle after use.  I was DEVASTATED.  I couldn’t sleep or eat for days (trauma can be an absolute bitch); I was terrified to go out on my own, even on our porch.  I lost my job because I no longer had a means of transportation.  And to top it off, I ended up having a miscarriage around the same time.

Guys and gals, I went to a very dark place after this.  The police, as helpful as they were, told me that the likelihood of finding the vehicle was slim-to-none.  In fact, it is common in most places (and especially my state) that stolen vehicles are dumped in rivers or ravines, never to be found again.  What made matters worse was that I had JUST PAID THE CAR OFF and SWITCHED MY INSURANCE TO LIABILITY ONLY.  (For you bebes out there that don’t know, this means that your insurance company won’t replace the car if it is stolen.)

For months, I tried to dig myself out of this hole, but I felt like I couldn’t really connect with my craft because I was missing important elements to my spellwork.  Some of the things in that box were passed down for generations in my family.  They were absolutely priceless.  I felt so…lost.

The following May, I was visiting Tulum, Mexico.  A tropical storm was brewing off the shoreline and everyone else was drunk at one of the all-inclusive bar.  I watched from my balcony as surfers took to the turbulent waves and something came over me.  I felt a literal pull in my chest.  Something kept telling me to go to the water.

My family, friends, and the Mister all told me I was crazy when I went to the beach.  There was thunder, the waves were insanely high, and even the experienced surfers were having trouble.  On the lifeguard stands, black flags were posted (one of the signs that swimming is absolutely ill-advised) and for even an experienced competitive swimmer (that’s me!), it would be dangerous. But something told me to get into the water.

Nothing could have prepared me for the power of the ocean.  It pulled me when I resisted; it dragged against every limb and I became frightened.  But instead of thinking about the fact that I could possibly drown, I kept replaying those guys and their guns pointed at me, one shoved into my forehead.  I became angry; I kicked harder, pushed myself further until I felt the sand at my toes again.

I was crying and so angry.  I stood still in the water and called out into the wind.  I beat my fists against the surface of the sea (I probably looked insane, but no one was out there) and felt all of my pain seep away.  I begged the water for one thing: even if the car didn’t run, could my precious things be returned to me.  I bartered with the sea.

The sea giveth and the sea taketh away, as they say.  All of the hurt and terror and anguish I had felt over the previous year disappeared.  I was embraced by the water and somewhere so very deep inside me, I knew everything would be okay.  There was finally a sense of calm and clarity inside me, replacing the tumultuous emotions I had been feeling.

The morning we left, after the storms had passed, I went back to that secluded part of the beach and promised that I would dedicate my life to helping witches around me.  I had never made a promise like that in my life.

A month after that, the state police found my car.  It wasn’t in working condition at all, but everything remained intact in the trunk.  They brought it to my parents’ house and I rushed outside.  I sobbed when my dad opened the trunk and saw the box waiting, looking the exact same way it did the night the car was stolen.  Everything was in it, untouched by the elements.  (Eventually, I repaired the car enough for it to run another two-and-half-years, too!)

Magic is real.  Against impossible odds, there is power in every wish and desire.  I will never regret the promise I made that day.  I will never take for granted the gifts that have been given to me.  And when people scoff when I say that I am a witch, I inwardly smile and know that my magic is true and real.  I have all the proof I need.

8

i almost married someone who didn’t love me

Tyler's instagram live (in case you missed it)

- he’s proud of us
- Jenna had to show him how to use the live video
- he was in his woods, he goes there a lot, and even though it’s his personal space, he “let us in there for a little bit” (not exact quote, but close enough)
- he’s proud of us
- he bought a leafblower and thanked us for it
- he’s proud of us
- he never had to buy a leafblower before, because he never had his own place where leaves could fall, so he never needed one. but now he does, because of us
- he’s proud of us
- he and Josh didn’t go to the Billboard awards because it would have been hard to organise it (and also he didn’t really want to go either)
- he doesn’t really like music awards
- when he was younger, he had to show his music to house guests whenever someone was over. he never wanted to, but sometimes he still showed them his music. every time he did, he was happier afterwards.
- he feels like they wouldn’t be here now without us giving them a little nudge to keep doing there music
(- also I think he might have said something like he wouldn’t even be here at all, but I didn’t fully understand that sentence)
- he’s proud of us
- he’s asking us to be patient with them, they are working on new music (!!!)
- he saw a deer walking by, he went to find it
- he had a bit trouble with turning off the live stream, but eventually did it

All The Small Things

Every time Tom gets angry on the show, in front of Marco, it’s interesting to know that Marco isn’t particularly bothered by his anger.

 Every time Tom has been scolded by Marco, it’s been because of something he did wrong, like lying.

He’s never gotten angry at Tom for getting reasonably upset about things , even when he promised to him he wouldn’t get mad.

It’s something interesting to point out, because then it reminds you of how Star treated Tom’s anger in BMB.

Marco and Star are very different with Tom’s issues.

While Marco hasn’t yet to invalidate Tom’s feelings, and handles the problem by ridding the source of Tom’s anger.

Star instead, gets irritated because of Tom’s irritation, and shows annoyance at him for being upset.

Now i like Star, and she doesn’t have to put up with Tom’s anger.

But this night did mean a lot to Tom, and Star kinda went mostly for herself, not for them. Tom did everything possible to make the event something fun for her ((Resulting in his own subjects being bored)) and her entire reaction to all of it consisted of annoyance and ignorance.

Tom, who went through all this trouble to make this night perfect and prove himself to the one person (At the time) he cared about, kept feeling like he wasn’t good enough for her.

She ditched him as well to go do other things, although Tom’s anger is dangerous, the things he does get upset about are understandable and relatable.

His night was falling apart, and then Marco showed up, ruined what was probably his last chance to make the night up to Star, and that was the last straw for him.

Everyone is very quick to blame Tom for the breakup, but considering we know practically nothing about their dating life and relationship, and don’t really know why they broke up.

I don’t think it’s impossible that Star could’ve been partially responsible.

Tom is clearly a person who needs emotional support, he’s lonely and ashamed of his issues.

and as much as i like Star, she’s not typically very good with the feelings of others ((She’s getting better at it, but there are plenty of times Marco’s opinions, needs, and well-being were ignored in favor of her own))

Which is why it’s nice that Marco supplies that support for Tom, and takes his feelings into account when he’s hurt.

Tom should be allowed to be upset and angry sometimes, as long as he can control himself.

And it’s nice to see Marco not only validate his feelings, but help him handle his issues in a safe manner (Which Tom frankly seems to enjoy alot more)

It’s a small thing to notice how Marco treats tom’s issues in comparison to Star.

But it’s a pure small thing.

Okay guys that chat was just a chat but daaaamnn it spoke volumes. 

The clip yesterday indicated very much that Sana is feeling a little left out from her girl squad…like she is having trouble relating with them all of a sudden? 

I couldn’t help but notice that her entire demeanour with the boys changed when she was with the girls. 

she literally went from this

to this

and it breaks my heart that she’s feeling uncomfortable and a little distant from her friends. 

I feel like the shot we saw before she entered the room implied this kind of distance as well. 

Sana hovers in the doorway for a moment, almost like she’s observing another world, like she is preparing herself. By us viewing the girl squad from over her shoulder we get a true feel of the distance that Sana must be feeling. 

After details like offering Sana pizza with meat on it and discussing sex in detail, we become further aware of the small things that make her feel a little different to her friends and I think it is building up inside her. This kind of loneliness, like no one understands her and she’s scared and not sure how to try and make them understand, how to relate. 

ahhhhh and then that chat, how the girls just ignored her when talking about Vilde being the only one who hadn’t had a boyfriend before. I know they didn’t intend it but to Sana it would feel almost like she didn’t counted? Like her faith suddenly took her out of the equation. She no longer became valid. I know it’s just a small thing but as we know with skam, these small things count and build up. 

I feel like something big is brewing for Sana and ahhhhh I can’t wait to see how this all unfolds <3 

Let me know your thoughts <3 :)  

my new favorite thing is adding “bitch” to the end of Clexa quotes.


“You’re the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive, bitch.”
“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us, bitch.”

“That’s what it means to be a leader, Clarke. The truth is, we must look into the eyes of our warriors and say, “Go die for me bitch.”

“Jus drein, jus daun bitch”

“Not everyone. Not you bitch.”

“What did you do bitch?”
“What you would’ve done. Saved my people bitch.”
“Where are my people bitch?”
“I’m sorry. They weren’t part of the deal bitch.”

“Don’t be afraid. Death is not the end bitch.”

“You went to all that trouble to capture me just to let me go bitch?”
“I went to all that trouble to save you bitch.”
“You know when I could’ve use saving? When you abandoned me in Mount Weather bitch.”
“Clearly, you didn’t need my help bitch.”
“Clearly bitch.”

“If you betray me again bitch…”
“I won’t bitch.”

“I’m glad you came bitch.”
“Me too bitch.”

“I never thought I’d see you again bitch.”
“I told you my spirit would choose wisely bitch.”


inspired by (x)

whatever you do, don’t think about the possibility that lup, in the umbrastaff, went into the white space with taako in the eleventh hour and saw everything he saw.

don’t think about her watching as the chalice rewinds through his past and seeing nothing but static where she should be. all those memories of growing up together, life on the road, hopping from caravan to caravan, watching each other’s backs, teaching each other spells - all those memories that she treasures, memories that sustained her over ten lonely years in wave echo cave, memories that kept her sane and grounded and herself because they were so important to her…. all of them, just gone. staticked over like it’s nothing.

and she knows by know that taako’s forgotten her. she knows lucretia must have pulled some bullshit with fisher and the mission logs and that’s why no one remembers, she knows all that and understands it’s not their fault, not his fault for forgetting her - but that doesn’t stop it from hurting. it doesn’t take the sting out of seeing the most important person in her life unable to even acknowledge her existence. 

and then she gets to watch the years he spent alone - actually, properly alone for the first time in his life, and how terribly he took it, to the point where he latched on to the first person who would have him despite the fact that their working relationship was unhealthy and unbalanced right from the start. she watches his pride and vanity get the better of him without her there to help keep it in check, she watches sazed’s hero worship turn to jealousy turn to resentment turn to murderous intent and she’s fucking terrified at how close he came to actually taking out his intended target. taako could have died in glamour springs with the others - died for good, with no lich powers or starblaster to bring him back - and she never would have known. out of everything she sees in the white space, that scares her the most of all. 

and then after all that, just to put the cherry on top of this sundae of misery, the chalice decides to give thb one parting “fuck you” and shows them phandalin burning in glorious hi-def slow mo cuz it’s a vindictive little shit of a relic. meaning that, not only does lup - the same gal who values the fuck out of sentient life to the point where she was willing to fight her crewmates in order to protect a bunch of robots - get to watch the relic she created burn up thousands and thousands of innocent civilians…. oh no, that’s not enough. she also gets to see her creation kill one barold j bluejeans, the love of her fucking life. so that’s fun too. 

(which is not even to mention thb encountering barry outside of refuge and his helpless little “they don’t trust me, lup” and she’s RIGHT FUCKING THERE but can’t do anything to make him feel better and just guhhh. cut our poor girl some fucking slack, griffin, she’s had a shitty enough day as it is)

i just, i dunno man. the more i think about the end of that arc in the context of what we know now, the more upsetting it is. lup deserves a fucking break after all she went through in eleventh hour. and her body back. and $15. with 110 years worth of interest for her troubles.

3

listen bro no matter how many frickin “holy trinity” or “””“horsemen of the apocalypse”””” posts you make with dr blackhat y’all will literally never get it right so I got tired of watching and went ahead and made the post to save you the trouble you are welcome

Let me deliver to you a conversation that definitely happens between Viktor and Chris at one point:

“So how was your honeymoon?” says Chris, and he slaps both Yuuri and Viktor on the shoulders in the locker room as they’re preparing for the first warm-up session of the Trophee de France. There is something distinctly reminiscent of the first day of school after summer.

“It was wonderful!” Viktor says, heart-mouthed.

“Chris,” Yuuri says, slowly, with warning.

“And what did you do?” Chris asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

Chris,” Yuuri says, even more insistent. 

“We spent three weeks in a cabin in La Seyne-Sur-Mer, Chris, you know that,” Viktor lifts Yuuri’s foot into his lap to tighten his skate for him. “There are plenty of pictures on Instagram. The French Mediterranean is lovely in June.”

“Yes but what did you do.” Chris’ eyebrows wiggle so hard that they might leave the stratosphere.

“CHRIS.” Yuuri yanks his skate out of Viktor’s hands. “CHRIS I’M SERIOUS.”

“I learned to surf! Kind of.” Viktor presses a finger to his mouth, contemplative. “We swam a lot. We went to a club, once. We, um, ate a lot of…french food.”

“Could it be that you’re having trouble remembering what you did aside from fuck, my friend?” Chris purrs, low so that nobody can hear aside from them. Yuuri appreciates the courtesy, but he still huffs and hobbles away, one skate on. Chris sits down in his vacated spot. “I remember my honeymoon, Vitya. We hardly got out of bed. Your honeymoon is all about getting to know each other. In the biblical sense. Did you discover anything scandalous about your lovely Yuuri?”

Viktor blushes. “Well…he laughs during sex. And sometimes he would just let me lay on top of him and stare into his eyes. A couple of times, it wasn’t even during sex…it was insane. Sometimes we just kissed for hours. Hours, Chris. I did my hair while he was in the shower, and the curtain was transparent. He just let me! He let me watch him get dressed! He didn’t even care! One time we came in from a swim and he just took his bathing suit off, right there in the living room! I couldn’t believe it…and we showered together all the time. He let me condition his hair.”

“Didn’t you two…used to take naked baths together…all the time?” Chris mutters. “Back in Japan?”

“Well, yes but there were other people there.” Viktor’s getting hot and bothered, and Chris can’t even believe this shit. “It wasn’t a big deal, it was like being in a locker room. This time it was…just us. And his eyes would…and he’s so beautiful…”

“Oh my God,” Chris mutters to himself, because Viktor Nikiforov has an intimacy kink. He’s known the guy for ten years of his life and he somehow never realized it.

“And sometimes.” Yuuri pokes his head back around the row of lockers. “Sometimes we had sex above the blankets. In the daytime! Isn’t that insane?” Yuuri, unlike Viktor, is definitely being mocking. “Sorry, Chris, but practice starts in two minutes. Vitya, come on?”

“Coming, Kitten!” Viktor grabs Yuuri’s other skate and follows him to the door of the locker room, waving at Chris over his shoulder. Chris stays in the locker room until something like numb acceptance comes over him, and then exits into the rink as well. 

Fueled By Desire (NSFW 18+)

A/N: So, today has been a crazy day but I started writing this last night and wanted to post it tonight ! So I wrote it in virtually 24 hours, so I hope it didn’t suck to bad. I planned on posting it earlier but I had a bit of writers block. This a Theo smut that you can thank @hardladyheart for. She’s filled my mind with dirty Theo thoughts. (Fun fact’ this gif is actually mine and my blog name used to be twfanfic-af)

Thanks to: @writing-obrien and @hardladyheart for editing and proof reading.

Warning: SMUTTTTT

Word Count: 2803

Originally posted by stilinski-jpeg

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