but i want to tell you what i feel

Harry Styles - “Confessions” Part Five

This is the conclusion to the series! I hope you all have enjoyed it and that this lives up to your expectations. Thanks for all of the love and support I have received for this imagine. Means the world to me.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four

“How long does it take to get the results of this test?” You wonder out loud to Harry later that evening. The two of you were headed for LAX, going to pick up Anne, whose flight was to be landing at any minute. Harry had gone early that morning and gotten his blood drawn, as did the mother. Harry told you the two of them didn’t see or speak to each other though, which was good. 

“They said a couple of days but would rush it because of the circumstances.” Harry explains, keeping his eyes forward and both hands tight on the steering wheel.

“You mean because of who you are.” You clarified for him. “If you aren’t the father, they’ll want to know as soon as possible so they can make sure no one starts rumors you’re having a child, and if they do they have proof that you aren’t.” 

“Can we jus’ not talk abou’ this? ’m nervous, ’m scared, I don’ need you over here sayin’ stuff like tha’ to make me feel worse.” This was the first time he had snapped at you in awhile, especially since all of this had happened. It showed you just how much this was taking a toll on him. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, reaching over to rest your hand on his bicep. “I was just thinking out loud, I guess.” You tell him, removing your hand. He sighs, instantly regretting the tone of voice he had taken with you. He glances over at you but you weren’t looking at him and instead were focused on the buildings and cars flying past outside your window. 

Harry had felt a sense of hope last night and this morning that things would be okay with the two of you. You had kissed him, you had said you loved him, you’d laughed and joked with him this morning when he got home from the doctors office. Things felt normal and okay again. And he knew the results of the paternity test would most likely determine if you would return back to London as his girlfriend or his ex to never see him again. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this anymore. Of course, he didn’t particularly want this baby, but if it was his he knew he would love it completely and raise him or her to the best of his ability, even if that meant he would lose you. He would be a parent and he would have to do what he had to for his child. For the fear of losing you alone was the only reason he was praying the baby turned out not to be his. He hadn’t let himself feel that emotional connection yet. He hadn’t seen an ultrasound, he hadn’t heard a heartbeat, right now it was an abstract idea, a phantom consuming his thoughts until all of this was resolved. 

“Hey,” Harry breaks from his thoughts and looks over at you for a second, seeing that you were looking at him with concern riddled across that beautiful face. You reach over, resting a hand on his leg. “You alright?” 

“Jus’ thinkin’.” Harry answers, turning back to the road. They were almost at the airport. He couldn’t wait to see his mother. He needed the comfort of his mothers arms around him as he figured this all out. You were also excited to see her. Anne had always been such a comfort to you and it was going to be nice to have her around to help. 

“What about?” You wonder, your hand still resting on his leg. You see him bite at his lower lip, clearly unsure if he wanted to tell you what was on his mind or not. “You don’t have to tell me.” You assure him but he shakes his head. 

“’m jus’ thinkin’ abou’ how I’ll feel if the baby isn’ mine and how I’ll feel if it is mine.” He explains quietly, giving a small shrug of his muscular shoulders. “I don’ feel a connection yet and I know the only way there would be chance of you forgiving me would be if I wasn’ the father so I prefer tha’ instead of a child with someone else righ’ now.” 

“Whether you’re the father or not, you still cheated and then lied to me, Harry. I’m not going to just forgive you because you might not be the father.” Though admittedly, you would be more so open to resolving all of this if he wasn’t going to be tied down to a child. 

“Yeah, bu’ if ‘m no’ then I have more time to spend on gettin’ you back.” He grins over at you then and takes your hand from his leg to bring the back of your hand up to his lips. He glances over at you as his soft lips kiss your skin before he puts your hand back on his leg and focuses back on the road. You’re heart raced at his touch, your mind going a mile a minute. 

You didn’t speak for the remainder of the trip, which was thankfully not much, but you did keep your hand on his leg. Once you saw Anne and you both got out of the car, heading to greet her, she pulled you both into a hug one at a time, holding you both close against her as you hug her just as tightly back. 

“Oh, Harry,” She comments, resting a hand on her son’s cheek as she looks into his tired and clearly stressed face but he gives her a smile, not wanting to upset her more than he already had. He hugs her again before he takes her bags and heads to put them in the back of his car while the two of you hug again. 

The drive home was thankfully not awkward. Baby talk didn’t happen, instead Anne shared stories of what was going on at home, what her and Robin had been up to, as well as Harry’s sister Gemma. It was nice to talk about something other than the baby and cheating and just pretend that everything was okay again.

“So, am I taking the guest room or is it pre-occupied?” Anne questioned when Harry was close to pulling into the driveway. That’s when you glance over at Harry, realizing the two of you clearly hadn’t thought about that. You’d been sleeping in the guest room still while he was in your old bedroom. Now with Anne needing the guest room where would you go. 

“I’ll just… I’ll take the couch. It will only be for a few days anyway.” You answer, giving a shrug. The couch was plenty big enough and decently comfortable so it shouldn’t be too bad. 

“I’ll take the couch.” Harry argues. “Or, you could stay with me. We have a huge bed, or well… I have a huge bed.. we won’ have to sleep close together or anythin’.” You bite your lip but decide he was right. You wouldn’t have to be close to him as the bed was in fact huge with plenty of space but you had to admit it would still be a little bit weird and hard to be so close in a bed that the two of you had once been intimate in but it would have to do for the next few days until all of this was finished and you returned home. 

It was so nice to have Anne there. She helped fill that awkward silence that sometimes fell between you and Harry. She also made it easy to not talk about the current situation, the two of you were escaping all of it finally and it felt so nice to have laughs and comfort instead of arguing and tears. 

“Jus’ kick me if I ge’ too close.” Harry comments to you after the two of you had gotten ready for bed. You were pulling all the extra pillows off the bed that Harry had always been annoyed by. He always claimed that you didn’t need more than what you used to sleep so why overload the bed with smaller decorative ones? You said it made the room complete and they were staying, so he put up with it but you had to admit, the task of taking them off every night did get kind of annoying, as did having to put them all back on in the morning. “You know I like a cuddle.” 

“And you know I have no problem kicking you.” You respond with an innocent smile to which his response was to grab a pillow and toss it at you. You laugh as it bounces off your arm that you held up to shield yourself. “You can kick me if I get too close too. Not that I will but ya know, just in case.” 

“Yeah, I will.” He smirks at you as the two of you pull back the blankets and slide into bed. You sigh as you collapse back into the pillows, pulling the thick blanket up to your chin as you sink into the mattress. You had missed this comfortable bed. 

Surprisingly, the two of you did keep your distance from one another throughout the night. He stayed on his side, and you on yours. He woke before you and couldn’t help but smile over at your sleeping form, needing to resist the urge to pull you close against him like he used to. He knew you wouldn’t like that though so instead he just leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, careful not to wake up, before sliding out of bed. 

“Mornin’, sunshine.” He greeted you when you entered the kitchen a little while later. He lifts his forkful of eggs in a greeting before sliding the plate over to you when you sit beside him. “Eggs?” He asks, his mouth full. You laugh and shove him with your elbow before grabbing his fork. 

“You’re disgusting.” You comment before shoving your own forkful of eggs into your mouth. You realize then that maybe sharing a plate of breakfast wasn’t a normal and just friends kind of thing to do but it’s what the two of you had done for so long, it happened so naturally just as holding hands after the meeting with the lawyers had been. You push the thoughts from your head though as Anne walks into the room, freshly showered and grinning at her son and you, happy to see that things were clearly getting better with the two of you.

“Morning everyone!” She greets, going about making herself a cup of coffee. Harry watched you through the rest of breakfast, the two of you passing the fork back and forth until the eggs were gone. He kept thinking about how nice all of this had been and how easily it could go back to this but that damn test was looming over everything. It could ruin all of this but then he kept thinking how he already had ruined all of this but these moments gave him hope that just maybe it wasn’t over, that you and him still had a chance as a couple. 

It had now been three days since he took the paternity test and still hadn’t gotten an answer but everyday he woke up with his hands shaking, a nervous sweat building on his skin as he thought about how today could be the day. This morning you had picked up on it as you awoke and knew instantly what he was thinking, so against your better judgement you pulled him close and allowed him to curl against you and cry. 

“I don’ know what I’m goin’ to do.” He cried into your neck, holding you tight against him. “I can’ be the father, I can’t.” 

“We’ll get through this, Harry,” You realized as you said it how that sounded and Harry clearly did too as he gave a small hiccup and lifted his head to frown down at you. “I mean… I.. we’ll get through finding out the results. I… we’ll figure out the rest when we get there.” You were so confused as to how you were feeling lately, about him, about the cheating, about the baby. 

You loved Harry, you loved him so much, and he had been showing you how much he loved you these last few days. He was being caring, affectionate as best he could without letting it go too far and make you uncomfortable, he was being his old self and you had missed that. You missed Harry, and you missed being in a relationship with him. Maybe forgiving him wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He had been your life for so long, you could perhaps try at least. 

It was later that afternoon, the two of you and Anne had been watching a movie when Harry’s phone rang. You looked over at him beside you and saw that his face had grown pale. You glance down at his phone and see it was his lawyer calling him. The results were in. 

“Answer it, Harry.” You hiss at him, elbowing him. He looks over at you, his eyes wide and a crease formed between his brows. “I can do it.” You reach for the phone but he seems to snap out of it and stands up, accepting the call. 

He walks across the room, his back to both of you as he talks low, his voice quiet. You and Anne look over at each other and she reaches over to take your hand as she picks up on the way your heart rate had increases and your breathing had become shallow as you focused on Harry, trying to hear what was happening but you couldn’t hear him. 

And then the phone fell from his hand as he ended the call and your heart sank. That gave you the answer of what the news he had just received was and you felt your heart shattering all over again. Harry was to be a father, you just knew it. 

“Harry?” Anne questions after a few moments of silence, Harry still with his back to the two of you. “What did he say?” But Harry still didn’t answer. 

“Harry? Talk to us, please.” You stand then, releasing Anne to walk towards him. “Please.” Maybe it was the fact that you had come closer, or maybe it was just the fact that you had a quiet plea to your voice and he sensed you were close to tears, but he finally turned. His face was dry but his eyes were wide and he had an emotion hidden in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What did he say?” 

“It’s…” He takes a deep breath and then to your astonishment, he began to smile. “It’s not mine.” His breath was just a whisper but you heard it loud and clear. “They said there wasn’ a match at all and there’s no way it’s mine.” Your head was buzzing, unable to form a coherent thought as you look up into those green eyes. 

“Oh, Harry,” You both turn as Anne stands and rushes over to hug him tightly but you still just stood there. “I’ll… I’ll give you two some time to talk this through.” She kisses Harry’s cheek, then yours after giving you a quick hug, and leaves the room. Harry turns to you, silently questioning your thoughts. 

“It’s over, love, it’s all over. We don’ have to worry abou’ this anymore.” All he wanted to hear now after hearing those amazing words was to hear you say you still loved him and were willing to give him another chance. “Okay, look,” He steps forward and takes your hands in his, gripping at you tightly. You look up into his eyes, still wanting your thoughts to straighten themselves out but your head was still buzzing so instead you allowed him to talk. “I know I still messed up, I cheated, and tha’ will forever be my bigges’ regret bu’ if you le’ me, I will spend the rest of my life tryin’ to make up for this. I love you, I love you so much, Y/N. Please… give me jus’ one more chance, tha’s all ‘m askin for.” 

“Harry,” You whisper, releasing one of his hands to instead bring your hand up to rest on his slightly stubble covered cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning but you liked the feel of it under your fingertips. “It’s going to take a lot for me to fully forgive you.” He sighs, closing his eyes as he willed the tears not to come. He knew this was it. He had made it to the other side of this whole pregnancy ordeal so now you were going to say since he didn’t need you anymore you were going to leave. “But I’m willing to try.” His eyes pop open and he sees you giving him a soft smile. 

“Really?” He whispers, unable to believe that you were willing to give him another chance, and give him another shot at being a better boyfriend this time. You still wanted him, you still wanted to be with him, and he was stunned that somehow, after all this shit you were willing to try again. He didn’t deserve you, he really didn’t. 

“I love you so much, Harry,” You say. “And even after all of this, through all of this, if I can still love you, then just maybe we really can make this work.” 

“Oh my god.” He whispers it like a prayer and then pulls you into his arms, his face burying in your neck as he holds you close. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders, both of you with grins you couldn’t control. “I love you, I love you so much.” He pulls back to say and then his lips were on yours. “I don’ deserve you-” 

“Just shut up and kiss me again, Harry. I’m done talking.” You cut him off, a grin on your face. His face broke out into his adorable boyish grin that you had missed so much. You tangle your fingers in his hair as his lips join with yours again. 

anyone who tells you that no one cares about you is not to be trusted. they do not have the authority to speak for everyone else in the world. they want you to feel bad about yourself, they want you isolated, they want nothing good for you.

when someone says “no one cares about you” what they mean is “i don’t care about you and i want you to suffer. you should base your entire sense of self-worth on what i, a proven asshole, think of you because that makes it easier for me to hurt you and control you”. don’t buy into it.

people do care about you. people do want to see you progress in life. people do want what is best for you. please start talking to people who will raise you up and not ones who just want to bring you down.

Two Faced

Prompt: TJ and the reader “can’t stand each other” and end up being forced to share a bed together. Then feelings get confessed. @caramara3

I’m combining with another request for Bad Boy TJ being in love and not telling the reader until she makes the first move saying she shouldn’t want him but she does. After they have sex, TJ admits his feelings. @irishpoetlover

I have written a Seth fic where the two share a bed so I hope I’m able to make this one different. I’m crossing my fingers that I can get my creative mind going.

Again, tags suck.

Keep reading

(Archie Andrews x Reader): You’re such a cliche

Summary: Archie and Reader (a cheerleader) develop feels and eventually a relationship, the only problem is that the reader doesn’t want it to get out.

A/N: (apologies for spelling and grammar) This is a different style from what I normally do so I hope you enjoy it :)

 It had all started after an away football game. (Y/N) had been sitting at the front of the bus like she usually did (she claimed she got carsick; she was really just trying to avoid most of the other cheerleaders so she could read in peace) and Archie sat down next to her.

“Is this seat taken?” Archie asked, causing (Y/N) to look up from her book.

“I guess not,” You mumbled, a little annoyed to be distracted since you were just getting wrapped up in the story.

“Sorry, there’s no other seats, otherwise I wouldn’t bother you, you seem pretty pulled into that book.” He explains, looking a bit nervous.

You take pity on him, “That’s okay, I just usually sit up here to take a break from the girls, I love them but sometimes they’re a little too much.” You admit.

Archie nods, “I totally get that, I have the same thing with a lot of the guys on the team, that’s why it helps to have good friends who aren’t only thinking about football.”

You shrug, not wanting to admit that you don’t really have any good friends, just the other cheerleaders.

“So what are you reading?” Archie asked.

And that’s how it all started. The two spent the whole ride back to Riverdale talking about everything from books to music to politics.

After that the two found each other more and more often, they started partnering up in the classes they shared and Archie made it a habit to always sit next to (Y/N) on the bus to and from away games. Any time anyone asked if they were dating they would both scoff and reject the idea, both convinced that the other one didn’t feel the same way.

You were at a party, you hated parties, the music was always too loud, it was too hot, and everyone around you was too drunk. Cheryl was hanging on to you, her arm around your shoulders, “Isn’t she so tacky?” She asked you, her words slurring together.

“Who?” You asked dumbly, realizing you’d zoned out of the conversation.

“Veronica, of course” Cheryl sighed, “God, you’re so stupid sometimes. Anyway, I think she’s probably had work done, I mean…”

You nodded along as Cheryl droned on, not noticing Archie standing nearby watching you.

Eventually you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and carefully pried Cheryl’s arm off of you. When you got up to the bathroom you stared at yourself in the mirror for a long time, wondering how you’d gotten yourself in this situation. After washing your face quickly you opened the door only to stumble into Archie.

“Oh, hey!” You say cheerfully, putting on the facade you’d perfected in recent years.

“Why do you act that way when you’re around the other cheerleaders?” He asked bluntly.

“What way?” You asked, playing dumb, even though you knew exactly what he was getting at.

“It’s like you’re a completely different person when you’re with me, I don’t get it.” He tells you.

“It’s just easier.” You respond, defensively crossing your arms over your chest, “It makes it easier to fit in.”

Archie sighed, “Yeah, you’re a cheerleader, but you’re also so much more than that. Don’t let people like Cheryl dumb you down.”

“I appreciate that Archie, I really do, but if I was myself around these people…I’d probably get kicked off the team.” You reply, “Now if you’ll excuse me,” You add before slipping past him and making your way back to your post next to Cheryl.

The next weekend was an away game. It was a brutal loss and Archie was unusually quiet on the bus ride home because of it.

“Hey, you played great tonight, you know that right?” You said softly.

“Thanks, (Y/N), but I still feel bad, I could have played better,” Archie replied. 

“Hey, I’m sure next weekend will be better,” You say as you gently and hesitantly intertwine your fingers with his own. Your brain tells you not to, that this is a bad idea and you’re slowly becoming everything you hate but another party of you can’t bear that you’re not touching him more.

“(Y/N)…” Archie mutters softly, looking down at your hands and then back up at your face.

“Is this okay?” You ask quietly.

“Yes,” He replies quickly.

You smile softly as you turn to look straight ahead again. 

They held hands the rest of the ride, neither one wanted to be the first one to let go. Once they got back to school and everyone started getting off (Y/N) quickly snatched her hand away before anyone could notice it.

“Can I walk you home?” Archie asked, surprising you. The two of you never spent time together outside of school and stuff for football, especially not alone. 

You smiled and nodded, “Sure.”

As they walked Archie reached for your hand again.

“So what are we?” Archie asked as you walked up to your porch.

“I don’t know,” You replied, turning to face him, “I’m turning into everything I used to make fun of, but I don’t hate it.”

“Well, do you want to date?” Archie asked.

“I think so,” You admitted, “Do you?”

“Of course, ever since I first sat next to you on the bus I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask you out.” He replied, blushing slightly.

“Then you should pick me up tomorrow night at seven,” You reply as you unlocked your door.

Their first date was at Pops, they were having a good time, talking about their families and how dysfunctional they are when some cheerleaders walked in and made their way over to where they were sitting.

“Oh my god! Are you guys on a date?” One of them asked excitedly.

“No,” You quickly replied, “We’re just hanging out,” You lied quickly and believably.

“Oh, sorry,” She replied awkwardly, “Well…we’ll leave you to it…” She said before the group walked away.

“Sorry about that,” You said, turning to Archie, “They’re just…”

“Why did you say we weren’t on a date?” He asked.

“They-There are these really dumb stereotypes, you know, the whole cheerleader and the football player cliche? I just, I can’t become that.”

“But isn’t that what we are?” 

“No! We’re more than that, we’re more complex, but that’s how those girls will see us, and I just can’t-”

“Do you want to be in a relationship with me?”

“I-yes.” You admit, “But we’re some fantasy straight out of the 1969s.”

“Why is that so bad? What we have is real, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” You reply again, “Archie, I want to be with you, but if we are, we can’t tell anyone, at least not the football team and cheerleading squad.”

“Are you ashamed at the thought of being with me?”

“No, I just wanted what we have to be just between us, it’s too special to taint with everyone else.”

And for two months they did just that, they went on dates, spent time together, did everything that couples do, the only difference was that they didn’t tell anyone one at school, or act in any slightly romantic way when they were around other kids.

Archie had a hard time keeping it from his close friends. Betty, Veronica, Kevin-and even Jughead-sometimes tried to set him up with people, but he just kept avoiding their ideas, claiming that he was too busy with music and football and work to have a girlfriend. None of them really bought it (I mean, it hadn’t stopped him before when he was with Grundy or Valerie) but they had a hard time figuring out why Archie would be so adamant about it. Kevin was the one who first brought up the fact that he was hiding a secret girlfriend but everyone else thought that was highly unlikely, they’d never seen him act more than friendly with anyone, and none of the girls he hung out with stood out more than others.

But, like all secrets, the truth came out eventually.

You and Archie were at Pops one Friday night, enjoying your tradition of splitting a hot fudge malt and a basket of fries when the ice queen herself, Cheryl, walked in.

“Well, well, well, what are you two doing here? Out on a date?” She asks as she saunters over.

“Cheryl, for the last time, we’re not dating, we’re just hanging out.” You reply with an eyeroll as you glance over at her.

“Well, you two do an awful lot of hanging out for two people claiming to just be friends.” She comments, “Every weekend someone finds the two of you here, just the two of you,”

“Cheryl, everyone hangs out here all the time, what are you trying to say?”

“I’m just saying that if you’re not dating Archie, you should give someone else a ride on the ginger stallion.” She replies suggestively as she gives Archie a meaningful glance, “What do you say Archie?”

“I um-” He stalls, glancing at you nervously.

“Oh come on Cheryl, just because Archie doesn’t want to make out with you doesn’t mean he’s dating someone,” You cutting, starting to feel a bit defensive.

“Well, that didn’t stop him last time.”

“What?” You ask, feeling completely thrown for a loop.

“At my family’s maple syrup tapping,” Cheryl replies.

“Oh, that doesn’t matter, that was before we were dating,” You reply before realizing what you just said and claiming your hand over your mouth and glancing at Archie with wide eyes.

“Ha! I knew it!” She shouts triumphantly, “Jesus Christ, you guys made that way harder than it needed to be. I can’t wait to tell everybody, this is so exciting.”

“Great…” You mutter as she walks away, already typing on her phone (presumably texting the group chat the ‘good news’), “Shit,” You mutter as you rub your hands over your face. From across the table Archie reaches over and grabs your hands away and holds them in his own. 

“Hey,” He says softly, “It’s going to be okay, we’ll figure out how to deal with this, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re okay with this.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You ask, giving him a loving smile, “I guess now that the cats out of the bag we should just embrace it, you know? I was getting kind of tired of hiding it anyway.”

“Good, because I’ve been wanting you to wear my letter jacket for ages now, and I think Monday would be a great opportunity for you to debut that look.”

“You’re such a cliche.”

“You know you love it”

anonymous asked:

i'm curious what story of sana's people want telling? she is a norwegian teenager and yes she is muslim which is important to her identity but /i/ personally can't see how you should/ could make that part of the story line (i'm not saying it's not possible i just don't know) ?? i feel like skam is about seeing things through one persons eyes and we are seeing that? it's not about having a separate story for a character it's seeing one story through another perspective (cont.)

(cont.) i don’t agree that sana’s story is affected greatly by isak and even holding hands. i understand that a lot of ppl watching have concentrating a lot on that which is stupid but it seems like some ppl think julie did that on purpose to take away from sana??? wrong in my opinion. sana is a very selfless character and we see her getting hurt bc of her love for friends and her vulnerability bc of that and i think it’s being shown very well. (cont.)

(cont.) i hope you see this as healthy discussion/discourse not as hate or me trying to say anyone is wrong, i just want to understand if i’m missing something? and also i’m only sending /you/ these messages bc i saw you reblogged a post about fans glossing over sana’s story and similar

The thing is that it’s taking all the focus away from Sana. The evak holding hands scene for example. I mean there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s the fact that it’s taking the focus away from Sana, who is the main character. It’s taking all the attention away from Sana’s pain, which (in this clip) should be the main focus. 

It’s like with Noorhelm. In season 3 it was a factor that moved the main characters plot forward, but now in season 4 it’s only taking up Sana’s storyline, and that’s so unfair, cause Noora and Noorhelm had more than a whole long ass season for themselves, and it’s sad and stupid that Noora should have to take away Sana’s “screen time”. 

Throughout the three first seasons we see Sana through the other girls eyes, but we mostly get to see the “norwegian girl” side of Sana. But I thought that season 4 was supposed to be about a muslim girl of colour. Because as we have seen, that isn’t something Sana has shared with the other girls. At least not a huge part of it. This season I wanted to learn about Islam, religion, what it’s like to be a muslim, a muslim in norway, a muslim girl in norway, a girl of colour in norway (and in general). But as an ask from an anon said (to @evenandsana i think), what we have learnt this season about Islam and religion, and how it’s like to be a muslim, is thorugh people in this fandom, here on tumblr. Skam has literally not taught me anything I didn’t already know about Islam this season. What I’ve learnt is thourgh these amazing people on tumblr, and even though they have been so amazing, and so helpful, and kind and so generous with sharing everything and teaching us so much, honestly, it shouldn’t have to be people here on tumblr teaching us about this, it should be Skam. 

Finally, Sana is one of the only muslim girls of colour characters IN THE WORLD. Honestly I can’t name one other character like her in main stream media. This was supposed to be a season where other muslim girls and/or girls of colour were going to be represented in a good and real and healthy way, and to finally see “themselves” on a popular tv show. And yet, Sana is pushed to the back, even in her own season. I can’t even imagine how that must feel. To see “yourself” represented in media maybe for the first time ever, and seeing that character being shoved aside just so people can see even more of Noora (a white girl who is represented absolutely everywhere) and evak who we literally just watched a whole season of.

Adam Driver’s statement in VF and what it might imply for Kylo

This is both a personal brainstorming and a reply to this post, I could’ve reblogged it and added my two cents but I prefer to write a new one.

So, Adam’s brief statement about Kylo has caused a little bit of a ruckus, even though he stayed as enigmatic as always (damn you Driver, we want answers!!!).

First of all, let’s refresh our minds. This is what Adam said in the VF interview:

Adam Driver, alluding both to Finn’s state and the scar seen on his own face in the trailer, told me, “I feel like almost everyone is in that rehabilitation state. You know, I don’t think that patricide is all that it’s cracked up to be. Maybe that’s where Kylo Ren is starting from. His external scar is probably as much an internal one.”

Now, this is my personal view on the matter and I’ll tell you right away that is very positive for those of you who believe in the Kylo redemption arc (and to those of you who don’t… why do you hate yourselves?)

I’ll try to be as clear as possible even though I’m not sure if I can make my point come across the way I want it to do!

1. “Almost everyone is in that rehabilitation state”. This can be read literally (as in, physical rehabilitation - Finn) and metaphorically (spiritually), in my opinion. What is rehabilitation? The literal meaning is “to restore a condition of good health”. But “rehabilitation” is also a sort of purgatory, a state in which you’re in between your old self and your new self. Think about people who go into rehab for example: they go through a long and hard process during which they go from their broken self to their new, clean persona. I think this is closer to what rehabilitation means for Kylo. In his case, I think it’s more of a spiritual matter. He killed his father, he met someone who’s probably as strong in the Force as he is if not more (Rey) and with whom he shares a peculiar and mysterious bond with, and overall, his doubts and insecurities might be coming back to bite him in full force. Kylo is probably in a state of utter confusion and inner fights after what happened at the end of TFA. He already was, but now they probably got worse. And he’s probably trying to go back to how he used to be (Kylo Ren), but he might not make it and come out of this ‘rehabilitation’ as someone ‘new’ instead. Aka reedem himself.

2. “I don’t think that patricide is all that it’s cracked up to be”. This was very interesting to hear from Adam himself because I think he’s probably the one who understands his character better than anyone else, writers included. And the first thing that came to my mind is how they said killing Han Solo was a sort of test for him to bring him closer to complete his training to the Dark Side. But we all remember his words before he did the terrible act “I’m being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it” and we all know JJ Abrams said that Kylo came out of that act “weakened”. So, why did Adam say that the patricide “is not all that it’s cracked up to be”? Maybe he meant that the consequences of that act don’t bring Kylo where he expected? Aka to complete his training and fully become a Dark Side fighter? Could it mean that, on the contrary, the guilt, the mixed feelings about what Kylo has done, could bring him closer to the light? Be careful, I’m not saying we will see a on-the-way-to-redemption!Kylo at the start of The Last Jedi. Not at all. As I said, the rehabilitation process is a long and hard one. It might even take the whole of episode VIII and IX for him to finally come to his senses. But I’m sure we will see the walls around him starting to crack in TLJ, for many reasons.

3. Maybe that’s where Kylo Ren is starting from”. About this line, the OP of the post I linked wrote “it might imply that the REAL dark side of Kylo Ren is going to start/ come out”. Now, that’s their opinion and I fully respect that. I didn’t write this post to discredit anyone, but just to give my view on the matter, because it’s almost completely the opposite and I thought it would be interesting to see the two sides of the coin, sort of!

So, the real dark side of Kylo is going to come out and he’s going to become a full villain? It may be. There’s speculation that the FO will win at the end of TLJ, so it might be that Kylo turns to the Dark Side completely in the movie. But from what we’ve seen in TFA, I really don’t think so. It’s true that he’s a villain “in the making” and exactly because of that, it might be ‘easier’ for him to turn his back to those who have manipulated him his whole life (Snoke) and decide not to make that extra step that would completely turn to the Dark Side.

If you think about it, the prequel trilogy showed the downfall of Anakin from the “light” to the “darkness”, while the original trilogy showed us how Darth Vader went from being completely “in the darkness” to coming back to the “light”. So they started from the very opposite of what they would become in the end. If they wanted Kylo to become a full-range villain, I don’t think they would have shown him so conflicted in the first movie. I think they left those hints in hope someone would pick up on them and realize that Kylo’s path might not be what everyone expects from him (aka the Dark Side). Killing Han Solo has been a strong and dangerous decision as well, and I don’t think they would have done it if it didn’t have a more than legitimate reason (aka to start the Kylo’s redemption arc). Harrison Ford said he wanted his character to die in a way that had a meaningful impact on the story, and what more meaningful impact could his death have than bringing back his son from the darkness?

So, back to the line “maybe that’s where Kylo Ren is starting from”. In my opinion, this doesn’t mean that Kylo is starting his downfall to the dark side, but on the contrary, Han’s death and everything that happened at the end of TFA might be the starting point for him to realize that he can still redeem himself, save himself and find a way back to who he used to be. And I feel that that line implies that Kylo will have a lot of brainstorming to do which will eventually bring to a deep character development and (hopefully) to a change of heart. What I hope is that, even if the FO supposedly wins at the end of TLJ, Kylo won’t be with them anymore.

I won’t dig into the line “His external scar is probably as much an internal one” because I think it’s WAY too obvious. And this post got way too long, I’m so sorry.

AGAIN, I didn’t write this to go against the other OP, I just took this chance to express my opinion on the interview :) Feel free to leave me your thoughts as well xxx

I miss you once again

Tonight, I called you from a different number. It’s sad to say I memorize it like every inch of your body.
You answered and “hello”  was all I heard before I hanged up.
I slammed the phone on the wall and laid on the floor, watching my tears hit the ground.
Another regret, another missed opportunity.
I’ve been desperate to hear your voice, to see your smile, to feel your embrace.
I wanted to tell you how much I loved you and that I’m no longer mad of what happened in the past;
I wanted to let you back in,
I wanted to do everything again while forgetting the pain you’ve caused me, the pain I caused you.
I needed to let you know I’ve missed you while you were gone, and the days you were here that we never spent together.
You should know that each night I spent dreaming of the day that you would walk through the door like you use to;
getting picked on in the middle of class and not knowing how to answer the question because I was thinking of the times when you use to make me laugh, thinking of your eyes, the smile that left me without air in my lungs.
I can’t lie and say that I fell in love with someone new because I didn’t,
I couldn’t move on as fast as you did;
and even if I did, I can’t look him in the eyes and say that I love him because those words were only meant for you.

I wanted to say something, but what else can I say that you haven’t already heard from my lips and the letters written?

I have all this love for you but no where to store it.

– Topaz P.

May 24th, 2017, 11:40pm

Void III ❁

“Solitude comes visit at night,

and I tell myself,

that I don´t need anything,

that I don´t need anyone but,

how long will it last,

how long will this loneliness

keep making me feel trapped”

Originally posted by pangguk

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Angst and future smut.

Summary: Breaking into apartments while the owners are away. Sleeping in their beds, eating their food, using their showers and leaving before being seen. That´s what you do. A loner, a wanderer, a human ghost, call it whatever you want. You come and go, and no one notices. That, until Kim Taehyung returns home before expected.

Word count: 10.324

Warnings: very subtle dissociation.

I programmed this to be posted so hopefully it works!

Part I Part 2

This fic is going to be long , angsty and smutty but please be patient

I´m very nervous about this chapter

Even if things are changing, I feel the exact same way as I felt yesterday. Unsure about what is going to happen next, a bunch of questions accumulated on the tip of my tongue. The rain has stopped now, but the air is still humid and making my throat dry. I´m munching some mints right now, because I don´t want to lose my voice, something that happens to me often if I catch a cold. As I lay on the couch, I can´t help but feel lost, even though I´m doing my best and, if it weren´t for Taehyung´s mood swings, I would feel like it´s all useless. As if I´m just here like I could be anywhere else.

Because, sometimes it´s hard to live with someone as expressionless as him. I don´t want to complain out loud, but Taehyung´s behavior is a bit odd these days, or maybe mine is. I would wake up and jump in my sit when I would see him around convinced he had to be at work instead, would have to get more ramen packages because now he was eating a bit more and I would suddenly open the larder only to find it empty. Other than that, showering, eating, he was like a ghost. He either stayed still or moved too much, like lightning. And he slept. He slept a lot, a very unhealthy number of hours lying in bed with his eyes shut. And it worried me that he was feeling so upset he either wanted to stay there forever or move so fast he couldn´t even think straight.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Heyo dad. So there is this popular (damn i hate that word but it is the only appropriate word I can think of) and 'more attractive than I will ever be even as a female' boy-dude at my school and he is a football player and crap and I haven't really talked to him but today I was watching anime in my computer arts class with and he came up and he wondered what I was watching and I was questioning life but turns out he's a huge anime nerd so we were talking for an hour?? Idk how to react. what do

What does your heart tell you? Do you want to go on having conversations with this person, than nothing should keep you from doing so. If you feel not right about it, than you don’t have to talk. Just do what feels right to you


Cleopatra : Confessions Of A Mistress

A Letter To Julius

Dear My Love,

Its been awhile since i seen you i know you still think of me when your in Rome. The last visit was something to remember but i`m writing to you to tell you that you are on my mind too. It would be nice if you came to my land and show me how much you think of me,No one has to know what we do at the Temple just only you and me. I just want to feel your hands all over my golden brown skin while i give you my sweet lips as they touch yours. Don`t worry my love there will be more than just touching so come ready for a surprise.

- Cleo

I Will Be Doing A Scene With Sort Of A Egyptian Theme Yours Truly Will Be The Female Ruler Cleopatra. The Title Explains The Story But I Will Be Doing The Diary Entry As Cleo. You Maybe Wondering Who Will Be Playing Ruler Of Rome Julius Caesar Well I Will Let That Be A Special Appearance So Stay Tuned Folks!!!

Here’s the rest of the sketch from that preview. A Lackadaisy/catperson AU Katarina!

Man you can really tell how unused to cat features I was at the top. Blech. xD I had to really go study how the cast of cats were drawn, proportionally speaking, so I could achieve the bottom sketch. Came out much better than the first time around, too! The first time was more of my usual anthro proportions, which was NOT what I wanted for this. So I erased it and tried again, and am much happier with this iteration!

The 1920s era fashion feels right at home for most of my crew, too, really. The core quartet all lived through those times. It makes me want to think about the vampire speakeasies that would have been sanctioned by the Nations. lol

anonymous asked:

HI this is the anon who's like a female anakin and whose crush is like a male Padme!! I just wanted to say that one of the reasons the prequels/Anidala/especially AOTC are so special to me is because they honestly capture so well the feeling of having an intense crush. Not gonna lie, I broke down crying during the "you are in my very soul" scene because thats exactly how I feel about my crush and what I wish I had the courage to say to him lol. Sorry for rambling but bottom line is 💗 Prequels

THIS IS THE PUREST THING I HAVE EVER READ!!! I BELIEVE IN U ANON i would tell you to just be brave and tell your crush how you feel but who am i kidding i have done that approximately zero times so i don’t have much ground to stand on here jksdfg

anonymous asked:

I send a message to my crush,and I tell him that i'm in love with him,but the problem is that it wasn't anonymous it was public, and I feel so stupid. 😔

You shouldn’t feel stupid because you have feelings for someone. You know how they say “better an oops than a what if”. If his answer is not the one you want to hear, then tell him it was just an innocent joke.

anonymous asked:

Ok so there's this girl that I've talked to for a while, since the sixth grade actually, and really like her. The thing is I'm bi, so I'm a girl too. I flirt with her a lot and we make dirty jokes toward each other and sometimes she jokingly tells people we're dating. She's asked me about my sexual orientation a few times but I just joke my way out of it because I don't want to make things awkward...what should I do???

I’m really not sure sorry. Maybe like decide if you think she is someone you want to actually be with or just stay friends with - or pursue other people. Then maybe talk to her about it?

As it says in my ask box, i really don’t know anything about like lgbt experiences (and i feel like you are saying that being bi and not out to her plays into this situation) but I do know that communication and self reflection are always good. 

I feel so robbed of 6 years and 7 days of my son in space again, back on
the Ark. Like just imagine, after the initial shock of everything. After storing
away what they need, getting their plant supply set up, all of that, just
imagine him returning to his old home, going back to that place where life
had taken so many ups and downs for him. Remembering the first time
he ever held Octavia in his arms. Feeling each piece of personal items that
were still left there, waiting for what was suppose to be, him never returning.
Imagine those memories of happier times hitting him when he walks through
the threshold. Octavia’s childish laugh filling his ears as he used to carry
her around the loft on his shoulders. The tears coming to him with the sting
of raw emotion as he remembers his mom, remembers Octavia under the
floor, the random house checks. Remembering the bad things, like when
his mother was floated and Octavia was stolen from him. I bet he has an
attachment to so many of the community used rooms on there and each
time he stepped back inside of them, those memories slapped him hard
in the face.
I feel robbed of 6 years and 7 days of Bellamy Blake working on himself.
On him learning that there is no threat here like there had been. That as
the days tick by, there was no threat against his survival. That he could
just live and be a person again. Knowing that the could let go and relax.
He can actually sleep without leaving one eye open. Without worrying when
the next attack or threat of war will be. When the next person will try
and change him to their side. He can literally learn to love himself again
in those passing years, those passing days. He can learn that he’s not
the monster he thought he was on Earth. He has the chance to make
peace with his demons, especially the demons he never faced in the
walls of the Ark.
I bet in the beginning, there were days where he’d lock himself away
and scream and cry. Where he’d just lose it all and himself in the anger
and thought of loss and wanting to do good by, not just Clarke, but Octavia
as well. Where he’d just lay awake at night staring at the metal ceiling
unable to relax because it’s not the same feeling Earth gives him. It’s not
the openness he had grown used to. He literally has to re-learn how to
live again. How to let go of that survival instinct and be a person. He has
to learn that every day won’t hold another threat for survival. He doesn’t
have sleep with a weapon at his side. He can actually sleep longer than
two hours at a time. He has to learn to shut his mind off again. He has
to learn that he can’t constantly be worried for Octavia or Clarke but
at the same time, know that it’s okay to hold on to that shred, that little
piece of hope that Octavia is still leading those 1,200 people and that
maybe, just maybe, Clarke survived somehow. Most importantly, he has
to learn how to be a leader again and survive in a different way than how
he was on Earth.

Actually that felt good to vent omg I should do this more often. Yall if you have trouble voicing what’s In your head you go write it down in a journal then burn it. It feels good. And talk to people.


Clause (n): a unit of grammatical organization next below the sentence in rank and in traditional grammar said to consist of a subject and predicate.
— New Oxford American Dictionary

Search the internet for “run-on sentences” and you’ll likely find examples of long lines (some run-ons, some not) by William Faulkner, Charles Dickens, Lewis Carroll, and other authors famous for their verbosity. Some sites (which will go unnamed) tell you that one of the iconic lines of twentieth-century American literature—the first line of J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye (1951)—is a run-on sentence.

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

This is, indeed, a long sentence—63 words and six commas, to be exact—but it is not a run-on. On the other hand, this sentence is:

Julia likes cats, however, she prefers dogs.

Just seven words and two commas, but a run-on. (By the way, that last line is a fragment, a sentence lacking even one independent clause.)

How is the second sample sentence a run-on if the first is not?

The answer hinges on the definition of a run-on sentence. Contrary to popular belief, run-on sentences are not defined by length or complexity; a 1,000-word sentence could be grammatically correct and a four-word sentence could be a run-on.

A run-on sentence is something far more precise. It’s a sentence that contains two or more independent (aka main) clauses not properly separated. Generally speaking, independent clauses can be separated by a period, a semicolon, a colon, a comma and a conjunction, or a dash (though not all of these solutions work for all sentences).

We might fix the run-on above to read:

Julia likes cats. However, she prefers dogs.

or, more commonly:

Julia likes cats; however, she prefers dogs.

or even better:

Julia likes cats, but she prefers dogs.

The reason why the original “Julia” sentence is a run-on is fairly arcane: a conjunctive adverb like “however” cannot separate two independent clauses. Students preparing for the SAT and ACT should learn how to identify independent clauses, dependent clauses, relative clauses, relative pronouns, conjunctions, subordinators (words that make clauses dependent), and conjunctive adverbs—all terms and ideas that need to be understood in order to master the art of avoiding and fixing run-ons and fragments. This is likely the most important cluster of grammatical issues to master for both tests.

But my purpose here is not to unpack the nuances of these issues (you’ll need to take a class for that). It is simply to note that preparing for the SAT and ACT requires that students begin to see conventional English sentences as things constructed along pretty exacting guidelines. Sentences, like machines, are objects made out of properly connected parts.

Like an automobile, a sentence is made of interlocking units. Just as there are many correct and incorrect ways to build a car, there are countless ways for the parts of a sentence to interlock correctly or not. And just as a good auto-mechanic sees a car for its parts and knows exactly what to do under the hood to fix a mechanical problem, SAT and ACT test-takers need to be able to see sentences as constructed things made of clauses, which need to be connected with the right tools and in the right ways.

This is precisely the kind of thinking at work in Salinger’s opening sentence in The Catcher in the Rye. The sentence is something of a master class in English grammar.

If you really want to hear about it, | the first thing | you’ll probably want to know | is | where I was born, | and what my lousy childhood was like, | and how my parents were occupied and all | before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, | but I don’t feel like going into it, | if you want to know the truth.

This sentence contains nine clauses total, 7 dependent and 2 independent, all properly separated. A clause consists of, at minimum, a subject and a predicate. I have highlighted only those terms necessary to complete each subject and predicate and italicized all conjunctions used to connect clauses. Things get tricky at the beginning of the second clause, whose subject is “thing” and whose verb is “is,” followed by an entire dependent clause (“where I was born”) that acts as the object of the verb “is.” In this sentence, “you’ll probably want to know” acts as a dependent clause since it is contained within a larger independent clause.

As a whole, a good SAT or ACT grammarian should see this sentence like this:

Dependent clause 1, Independent clause 1 Dependent clause 2 Independent Clause 1 continued Dependent clause 3, and Dependent clause 4,  and Dependent clause 5, Dependent clause 6, but Independent clause 2, Dependent clause 7.

We could dig into this complex sentence further by looking at, say, how Salinger subordinates those seven dependent clauses, or by considering how to identify when a clause begins and ends. But, again, the point here is not to explore all these complexities (though that’s an important task for those preparing for the SAT and ACT).

My point is at once much simpler and more challenging: it is to show you that sentences are made of smaller units called clauses, and that there are rules for connecting and separating these units from each other. This is all to say that improving one’s grammar isn’t about memorizing countless rules or running your eyes over countless pages of writing.

It’s first and foremost about changing the way you see sentences—as constructed machines made of individual parts rather than as finished wholes.

Stephen P. is a writer and teacher based in Los Angeles. He has taught literature and writing courses at several universities and has taught writing and reading at Elite Prep Los Angeles since 2010.

anonymous asked:

So I just wanted to tell you that I dropped out of school.. I've been struggling to be motivated in school and I realized now that it's a waste because I really hated the program I was in.. it made me depression and anxiety worse and I wasn't having fun.. I want to try to start my own business but it'll take time.. I wanted to tell you because I just feel so relieved and I don't know how to express how I'm feeling! 🌷

I’m glad that you’re doing what feels right!! I hope everything goes well for you and don’t give up when it’s tough 💕 lots of love!