I’m not sure if this AU is gonna get bloody or not, so I’m just going to post it on here for now
Supernatural Teen AU!
Keith recently moved with his father to a new town. In his free time he loves researching and searching for cryptics, although he finds paranormal things to be highly unblievable. He will soon find unbelievable things happening in his new hometown.
“I will never forget the bright red hood entering the classroom.The colour stood out in the grey colours that you usually found in this town. I almost understood how the big bad wolf felt in the fairytale. I wanted to sink my teeth in those squishy cheeks and bury my nose in that soft-smelling hair. I looked to my right where Lance sat, and I could see that he was thinking the same, but he had always had a remarkable ability to control himself.
I took a deep breath to calm. Patience yields focus. I’ll just have to endure the hunger until first school break.”
I am so afraid that I am going to waste so much of my life being sad when I should be living. And not just living, but living vibrantly and loudly. I want to read more, travel more, learn more and talk to more people without feeling held back by the confines of my body. I no longer want to feel like I am drowning, sinking, falling or being swallowed up whole by something monstrous. I want to feel alive, lovely and brilliant, even for a moment
Consider: despite the differences in opinion between independent Ricks and Council Ricks, Rick’s self-loathing is so persistent in the central finite curve that “fuck you” has been replaced by “fuck me”.
one more thing i wanted to say about jasper today:
“is it sinking in yet? you never… had a chance…”
this moment. this moment here, when she lets amethyst just… whip her as much as she wants. it’s one i never know how to feel about, because it still feels a little ambiguous.
jasper says her line seriously. there’s no sardonic humor to it, no fighting back. she just… takes it quietly, as if she genuinely just wants amethyst to get it.
well, for context’s sake, it may be relevant to note this happened right before:
after that interesting little moment, where amethyst suddenly uses her whip and jasper shows a rare, genuine moment of shock and fear not shown since she saw rose’s shield, she shuts up and plays tough.
she decides to let amethyst wail on her for a while. her following line (bolded above) isn’t really derogatory or attempting to to insult her, like she did before. it’s more “just… accept that you can’t do this”. i think jasper just feels it’s… pointless now.
jasper believes in the concept of moral destiny - either you’re good, and good things will eventually happen to you if you try hard enough, or you’re evil and weak, and you will only fail and suffer until your inevitable end. she’s always been fighting against what she perceives as her own destiny: she failed in the war she was made for. she can either try to fix it, forever, or give up and be a failure who will never avenge her loved ones or find closure. that’s all she thinks about herself, in the end - rebecca sugar told us she hates herself, and that it’s rooted in her origins on earth. she won’t accept help, because she doesn’t think she deserves it.
it may be psycho-analyzing too hard to say that jasper saw something of either her own failure in amethyst, or perhaps her sisters’ fate (well, at least the ones who died + those whose destiny she doesn’t know), but… one complicated part of jasper is that she simultaneously wants to believe in her own redemption (by homeworld’s standards) and that those who suffer were always destined to. in the end, it’s really about convincing herself that her own traumas were because she deserved it, and that’s how she copes.
at the same time, she doesn’t really believe in unnecessary suffering… she wants amethyst to understand that, from jasper’s perspective, she shouldn’t even try. you either win or lose in life, and amethyst has already lost… which isn’t what happens, of course. amethyst has friends, and a life outside her fight, so she was always going to be ok. love saved her - steven and peridot’s love, as well as everyone else, which let her find comfort in steven and form smoky quartz.
but jasper… jasper doesn’t have anyone, and so she lets herself be consumed. all it takes is losing the only thing she’s been living for - the chance to avenge those who died, the chance prove that she’s more than a failure, the chance to consider herself a worthwhile person. so of course she just laughs at herself. she has no one, and she doesn’t think she deserves anyone, either.
maybe her own words are what she’s hearing in her head: “is it sinking in yet? you never had a chance”.
I didn’t want to be sad every time I go onstage … and I didn’t want to sink back into depression or relive these things over and over again, I wanted to make myself happy and when I get on stage everything is so happy. I’m having the time of my life.
Happy 22nd Birthday Kehlani Ashley Parrish | April 24th, 1995.