What I’ve Done
Characters: Y/N Winchester (sister!reader), Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer
Pairing: Castiel x Reader
Warnings: Self doubt, self loathing, making wrong decisions. Canon typical.
Word Count: 2200ish
A/N: This is 1 out of my 13 entries for @mamapeterson / @mrs-squirrel-chester’s Album Fanfiction Challenge where I chose the album “Smoke and Mirrors” by Imagine Dragons. The song prompt for this fic is: Hopeless Opus
This is kinda a rewrite of the ep The Man That Would Be King. I changed and took out a few things to fit in my reader but it is very much based on the ep. I stole and rephrased some of Castiel’s monologue from that ep as well. I do not claim to own any of that writing.
Thanks so much to the amazingly sweet @bkwrm523 for betaing this for me. I love you Sara!
The expression on her face, when she realized he had been lying to them for almost a year was burned into his mind. It was all he saw, no matter where he went or what he did. The hurt, pained expression on her face. His betrayal had hurt them all. His betrayal had angered them all.
For such a long time it had been so clear to Castiel he was doing the right thing. Working with Crowley had been a necessary evil. It had been the only way and Castiel knew the Winchesters would never have understood that. Nor should they have too. They stopped one apocalypse and now the angels or a portion of them anyway, was trying to start another. Castiel had never been more ashamed in his life. Y/N and Dean had lost a brother to this war. A brother Castiel unsuccessfully had tried to bring back. Y/N had gone to school and Dean had found love. They moved on. They deserved to have lives. Castiel hadn’t wanted to disrupt them but he had watched. He had thought about asking for their help so many times. He knew it was his best option, but he couldn’t. Dean looked peaceful and Y/N looked happy. Castiel knew they missed Sam, but it was his choice to not contact them and to keep hunting on his own. Or so Castiel had thought back then. He hadn’t realized it wasn’t all of Sam he had pulled out of the cage. He hadn’t realized until it was too late. As soon as Dean learned about Sam’s missing piece, he had called his sister back in. Castiel had not shown himself but she has watched the anger and pain on her face as she faced her oldest brother. The same pain he had watched on Dean’s face when he had realized Bobby had known about Sam being back, had been written all over Y/N’s face as she confronted Dean.