today was a good day. today was a wonderful day, jason, because i got to see you many times. and not only did i get to see you, i got to hear your voice. it was only one simple “yeah” but that was more than enough for me.
i could have heard you say a lot more but my sister and i had ran to get something for my mother when she stopped you to ask about cabbage. and when we got to the cart, i passed you on the way (and you were so tall, and you were having such a nice hair day, oh my god) and she told me you were coming back. so i convinced her to say more to you than thanks. i wanetd to ensure that i heard at least one word. (she said something along the lines of “you did have some, didn’t you?” just so you would reply. i guess owe her one.)
you talked so quiet. so quiet i could barely hear you and i was standing right there. i think it made me like you even more. my mother told the woman at the self checkout how cute my sister and i thought you were and she had nothing but nice things to say about you. (“oh, he’s adorable. he’s so soft spoken. and he wears bow ties every day, that guy rocks.”) i was slightly embarrassed. not as embarrassed as when she walked to another register to ask the boy working there if jason had a facebook because two girls thought he was cute and had been trying to find him and couldn’t. he didn’t know but she promised to find out.
i’m afraid the word will get back to you. actually, i know it will. i know that woman will tell you. and i know you’ll definitely know i like you then. and that’s horrifying in a way. but i thought about it and honestly, i don’t care that much. even if it makes me more nervous around you, if it makes you happy, i think i’d want you to know. i don’t know how much longer you’ll work at walmart. and i don’t know how many times i’ll see you and i am certainly not going to be upfront enough to tell you.
who knows? maybe you’ll remember me then.
this is such a rushed letter but i write it down while i had the time. i have been home for four hours or so now and i have yet to stop smiling, and maybe possibly shaking, because you were so close and i actually heard your voice and now there is a chance that even if you never come across these letters, every time you see me you will know how infatuated i am. honestly - i don’t think i’ve started breathing properly again. my heart hasn’t slowed down. i don’t think it will.
i hope you had a wonderful day, jason. thank you for making mine.