but i think this should get what i'm tryin to say

anonymous asked:

Hi there! I saw where you opened requests and I'm so excited because I loved your Sundance Kid series! Can I request a fic where McCree invites his fem!crush somewhere private to tell her how he feels since he can't seem to get it across to her with subtle flirting? (She's shy and finds it hard to banter back (/^.^\) Thanks!

Glad you like the series. Thank you for the request and I hope this is what you wanted. It took me a little longer than expected and its longer than I thought it would be!


You usually only came down to the shooting range to watch the others. You weren’t much of a shot and never were comfortable with a weapon in your hand. Technology and science were more down your alley. Since you were young, technology and science had fascinated you and that’s what you ended up doing with your life.

“Hey, sweet pea,” McCree calls out behind you and you turn to him with a smile. The cowboy had always been one your favorites.

“Hey there, McCree. I watched you shoot today. Looking good as always.” That seemed to boost his ego and he gave you a toothy smile.

“Not as good as I usually am though. My arm here has been actin’ a little funny – think you can look at it for me?” He holds his mechanical arm out towards you and you shake your head.

“Come with me to the lab and I’ll check it out.”

He walked silently beside you, twirling his six shooter every now and then with his flesh and blood arm.

“Are you nervous about something, McCree?” you ask him jokingly.

“Now what would I have to be nervous about, darlin’?” The truth was, he was ridiculously nervous and had nothing to do with his arm. In fact, there was nothing wrong with his arm, he just wanted to spend time with you.

You stop as you reach the door the lab and turn to McCree who seems to be a little too close to you all the sudden. “M-McCree,” he leans in closer and you take a deep breath.

“Yes, darlin’?”

“I need…I need you to put that cigarillo out before you come into the lab…please,” you add breathlessly. He smirks and nods, dropping the offending thing to the floor and stepping on it.

“You’re the boss,” he says, still too close to you.

“Yeah, don’t want anything accidentally exploding.” His eyes widen and he stands up straighter giving you room to move away and open the lab door. “So, what’s wrong with your arm?”

“Well, uh, it seems a lil stiff,” he lied.

“Where?” You hold your hands out and nod your head, waiting for him to show him your arm. He moved closer to you and held out his arm still not showing you where it was stiff. He wasn’t even looking at your arm, he was looking at you and you could feel yourself blushing. “McCree…”

“It’s Jesse.”

Jesse…could you please move your arm for me so I can diagnose the problem?”

He let out what sounded like a displeased grunt as you poked and prodded at his arm. You could still feel his eyes on you but you purposely avoided his gaze. “You sure are pretty,” he says suddenly.

“Oh…I…thank you, Mc-Jesse. I can’t find anything wrong. Maybe you should just try to take it a little easier on this arm for a bit.” You stand quickly and move away from him, feeling yourself getting warm again. “Is there anything else you needed?”

He wanted to say you. He wanted to say a little bit of your time, but he couldn’t bring himself to say either of those things. “No, sweetheart. Thank you. Guess I better just take your advice.”

“You do that and…I’ll see you later.”

He was about to speak when someone else came into the lab and caught your attention. He lingers for a moment and you look at him, “Did you need something else?”

“No, ma’am,” he gives you a forced smile and tips his hat before leaving.

You were busy in the lab for the next few hours and when you finally left, you went straight to your room to relax. The room was dark when you stepped in and you dropped your stuff into a chair before turning the light on. A piece of paper on the floor catches your eye and you bend to pick it up:

Meet me at the shooting range at 9,

Jesse

What could he possibly want with you at the range this late? You look at the clock and realize its already 8:45. Looking down at what you were wearing, you shrug and tell yourself that will have to do; there was no time to change. Besides, there was no reason to get all fancy just to meet McCree at the range, right?

You make your way to the range, keeping a steady but calm pace. You didn’t want him to think you were rushing to see him but you also didn’t want him to think you stood him up.

“’Bout time you showed up,” Jesse says from the far corner of the range scaring you half to death. He made his way over to you, the ring of heat from his cigarillo shining a bit of light on his face.

“I’m actually a few minutes early, McCree,” you say nervously.

“Jesse…remember?”

“Right. Jesse. So, what are we doing here? Are you going to show me how to shoot that Peacekeeper or something?” you joke.

“No, darlin’. I, well,” he takes his hat off and clears his throat, “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“I’m listening.”

He hesitates for a moment then blurts out, “I like ya, alright?”

“Oh?”

“I been tryin’ to tell you for the longest, but you’re so shy and sweet and it was just so hard to come out and say it. I didn’t wanna scare you away, sweet pea,” he finishes and you couldn’t think of anything to say which scared him because he started pacing. “Now, I’m gonna need you to say somethin’. I can’t have you bein’ quiet. My heart’s just beatin’ outta my chest right about now…”

“You’ve always been one of my favorites,” you admit.

“So, you’re sayin’ you like me too, huh?”

“Maybe…a little,” you tease.

“Hey there, don’t go hurtin’ my feelings.” He seemed to be feeling a lot better now that he had told you what he needed to tell you. “You mind if I walk you back to your room?” He offers you his arm and you take it.

“Not at all, Jesse.”

“Before we go though, I gotta ask…who’s your other favorite so I can rid of them as soon as possible?” He puts his free hand on his Peacekeeper and you laugh.

“You’re a troublemaker.”

“I am but I reckon that’s why I’m your favorite.”

You nod your head in agreement. There was no use in denying it any longer.

anonymous asked:

wait but i need more dad-to-be harry. that blurb killed me!!! i need him to come home and feel the larger bump for the first time or getting the nursery ready or singing to the bump. omg now I'm just torturing myself. anyway, that blurb was amazing and you're amazing and harry's amazing.

I mean it when I say things sit in my inbox until I have the moment/inspiration/I figure out whether it’s a blurb or a one shot. And this isn’t even the oldest! It’s a Dad Harold kinda night. x.

Spun loosely from: http://permanentcross.tumblr.com/post/142220190203/can-you-write-about-harry-get-cranky-xx-your

013. Missing Kisses

No.

You’ve been angrier with Harry, but you can’t remember feeling this cross with him in a very long time. He’s hard to be angry at when he’s away – you miss him too much and find yourself getting sentimental and sappy and romanticizing even the most mundane parts of the day with him – but somehow he’s managed to do it, and right before he comes home, too.

Then again….

Keep reading

Lana Del Rey sentence starters
  • "Look at you, looking at me."
  • "Loving you is hard, being here is harder."
  • "I don't wanna do this anymore."
  • "I can't survive if this is all that's real."
  • "All I wanna do is get high by the beach."
  • "I never bought into your bullshit."
  • "You could be a bad motherfucker, but that don't make you a man."
  • "Now you're just another one of my problems."
  • "I'll do it on my own."
  • "Don't need your money to get me what I want."
  • "Everyone can start again."
  • "Should have let me know that I never had a chance at all."
  • "I could never be what you wanted."
  • "I know that you're scared to death."
  • "You're afraid to love me."
  • "Our kind of love, it was once in a lifetime."
  • "It was doomed from the first time."
  • "I always fall for the wrong guy."
  • "Things that are bad always taste nice."
  • "That's what girls like me do... lose you."
  • "You're sickeningly beautiful."
  • "This kind of life wasn't meant for the good girl."
  • "That's what girls like me like - the limelight."
  • "If you should go before me then know that I always loved you."
  • "There's nobody for you but me."
  • "We make the rules."
  • "Say you want me, too."
  • "Will my forever love never come back to me?"
  • "How quickly you forget how I made you smile."
  • "I remember everything."
  • "Does she know I'm tattooed onto your heart?"
  • "She's not me."
  • "Promise I won't hurt you, kid."
  • "Baby, we were born to live fast and die young."
  • "It's a game, I don't wanna play."
  • "Never let me go."
  • "We're gonna go far, I can already taste it."
  • "I remember when I saw you for the first time, you were laughing, sparking like a new dime."
  • "Baby, it's a sweet life."
  • "It’s just another lonely day on the playground."
  • "I just wanna party, boy, I don’t wanna fight."
  • "They all know my name now."
  • "I'm not looking for true love tonight."
  • "If you want me, you know where to find me."
  • "I don't wanna get you running scared when there's no pressure there at all."
  • "I'm the sweetest girl in town so why are you so mean?"
  • "You were talking so brave and so sweet."
  • "You got away, didn't you, baby? You just turned your back on the crowd."
  • "You were famous, your heart was a legend."
  • "You told me again you preferred handsome men, but for me you would make an exception."
  • "We are ugly but we have the music."
  • "I don't mean to suggest that I loved you the best."
  • "I remember you well, that's all, I don't even think of you that often."
  • "Let me be your dangerous girl."
  • "Its been so long since someone made me different."
  • "Even my best days without you were nothing in comparison to my worst days once I had found you."
  • "It's all happening."
  • "Pillow talk to me."
  • "I never knew I'd find somebody like you."
  • "You say it's not true, but I know how you do."
  • "I'm like a child who belongs to nobody."
  • "I wear you like my clothes, hold you close to my body."
  • "You hurt so good, you feel so bad, honey."
  • "I just want you to want me."
  • "I'm not what you want."
  • "Let's get out of this place 'cause you're starting to waste within this teenage wasteland."
  • "I'm leaving, are you coming with me?"
  • "I know that they think I've come undone."
  • "It's late, walk me home and put your hand in mine."
  • "Be my valentine."
  • "You are, by far, the brightest star I've ever seen."
  • "I never dreamed I'd be so happy that I could die."
  • "I can get you hooked on love and desire."
  • "I know what you’ve done, I can be your alibi."
  • "Would you kill for me? Would you die for me?"
  • "It's either live or die."
  • "I burnt your toast but baby, I'm still the bestest."
  • "This is not a school girl crush."
  • "This is not puppy love."
  • "I'm your leading lady."
  • "You're everybody's hero and you're hitting it home."
  • "I don't wanna go."
  • "He's a sweet baby, but he looks mean."
  • "I’m America’s sweetheart tryin’ to get away."
  • "You make it hard to leave, but it’s easier for me to stay."
  • "We're not fooling anyone these days."
  • "I don't wanna stay, but I'm so afraid."
  • "It's not love what keeps me here and it's not what you want to hear."
  • "Never coming back, no matter what you do or say."
  • "I've had it up to here with the panic and the fear."
  • "There's nothing in your heart, I thought that I could make you change."
  • "We were just teenagers when we fell in love."
  • "You should never come between a woman and her dream."
  • "I was addicted to you, but I didn't know it."
  • "Put yourself on back to bed."
  • "I was addicted to you, didn't wanna blow it."
  • "You were a dick with your crew."
  • "Why can't you give it a rest?"
  • "You're not that bright for a star, burned yourself out nothing left."
  • "Death doesn't come with a warning."
  • "You should hear me sing."
  • "I know what they say about me, I know that they think I'm danger."
  • "I'll be taking drugs, doing shots, making out in parking lots."
  • "You can't stop me."
  • "Money is my saviour."
  • "Ours was the greatest love story ever told."
  • "You've got it and I want it."
  • "Doomed from the start, we met with a goodbye kiss."
  • "I won't cry myself to sleep like a sucker."
  • "Now you fall asleep with another... Damn you."
  • "Remember how we used to escape for the summer?"
  • "Nothing to lose and we got messed up for fun."
  • "We went too fast, too young."
  • "Flowers in my hair and your breath smelled like whiskey, promised anywhere that I go, take you with me."
  • "If you get lonely, think of me."
  • "Living without you is like TV in black and white."
  • "When I’m around you suddenly I realize that I was blind before I saw the world through your eyes."
  • "I'm a really good girl, you a very bad guy. We're a little match made in heaven."
  • "I don't wanna know I'm wrong."
  • "If we got together, I know it would be hot."
  • "Put the radio on."
  • "My man is crazy... but I like him, in fact, I love him."
  • "I've been waiting on your love, baby, for too long now."
  • "I thought that I could change you like the others but I don't know how."
  • "It's gonna backfire."
  • "Everybody’s saying you’re no good for me."
  • "I wanna fly."
  • "I can't be with the man I love."
  • "With the rate I was going, I'd be lucky to die."
  • "You wanna watch me while I watch TV, while your touching me."
  • "We're gonna party like were running outta time."
  • "We dance like nobody's watching us and we live like we want to."
  • "I was a young girl, selfish and wild."
  • "Look at me now, I have everything."
  • "Had a face like an angel, but inside, my heart was as black as a broke movie screen."
  • "I hope you remember me like this."
  • "I don't know a thing, but of this I'm sure - there's nowhere on this Earth I'd rather be."
  • "You're beautiful, but hopeless."
  • "I think you're so cool, babe."
  • "I love you more with each and everyday."
  • "Do you think you'll love me, too?"
  • "You know I love the thrill of the rush."
  • "Play you like a game, boy."
  • "What's the thrill of the same toy?"
  • "I love you, but I don't know why."
  • "You can be the boss, daddy."
  • "You taste like the Fourth of July."
  • "You’re wrong, but you’re so much fun."
  • "Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?"
  • "I'm a party girl, and I'm just warnin' you."
  • "Do you think it's really mean that I'm only on the scene cause I want a little danger, boy?"
  • "I told you so."
  • "You know sometimes I think God's playing a little game with me, looking down from heaven, laughing, trying to see how much I can take."
  • "Nobody's had more shots at the moon and missed than me."
  • "My boyfriend says I'm like an old movie star with loneliness as my occupation."
  • "You haven't seen the best of me."
  • "You can look, but please don't touch."
  • "Everyone knows I'm a good girl."
  • "I am the baddest, you liking what you see?"
  • "You should stay away from me."
  • "We're children of the bad revolution."
  • "We're acting really tough like the world belongs to us, 'cause it does, yeah, it must."
  • "You've been pretty stupid ever since you got famous."
  • "Your friends all swear that you've changed but, I still keep it O.G."
  • "Let's go back to the basics."
  • "We were best friends, crazy and shameless in love."
  • "I'm just making up for what I never had."
  • "I was born to live fast, die young."
  • "I think we're losing what we used to have, you know?"
  • "You loved me better one year ago."
  • "I won't be all that mad if you go."
  • "You're always spending all that stupid with your band on the road."
  • "You can still come home when you want and I won't be ashamed to take you back in."
  • "It's been five nights since I heard the tone of your voice."
  • "You act like everything's alright, but we both know that it's not."
  • "You're so special."
  • "No one lives forever, but that’s no reason to give up."
  • "Don’t you wanna fall in love?"
  • "Sometimes I get lonely, but millions all know me now."
  • "You're the bad boy/girl that I always dreamed of."
  • "You know I was more than just a party girl."
  • "We're the broken ones."

anonymous asked:

I have a little prompt for you if you are still taking them: Stiles breaks something at Derek's flat or scratches the Camaro, I dunno. Stiles repays him in hugs. Derek wants him to break other things because Stiles' hugs are the best hugs. Yes, please drown me in good feels, I need them.

It’s not his fault. Seriously.

He’d been taking selfies with Derek’s phone, and replacing all of his contact photos with them. Derek didn’t even have pictures for half his contacts, Stiles was doing him a favor, really. But, as he’d been cackling to himself, rolling around on the kitchen counter making dumb kissy faces for his own contact picture, he’d lost his balance. His hand had flung out wildly, and he’d knocked Derek’s favorite Garfield mug off the side. It had swept out across the floor, handle snapping off and flying under the table and the mug splintering into three pieces.

There’s a long silence, Stiles staring at the broken mug in horror, cold coffee dripping down the cabinets and pooling on the floor.

Then, footsteps from Derek’s bedroom, through the living room, Stiles panics, thinks about making a break for it through the window, could he do it? Derek’s only eight floors up. Could be a challenge… But, then Derek appears in the kitchen door, sleepy and confused looking. Stiles’ heart clenches half in fear and half in the shock of seeing Derek so… adorable in the holey sweater he sleeps in, hair rumpled and face with pillow creases engrained on one side. 

“Stiles?”

“It was an accident,” Stiles blurts out. 

Derek arches an eyebrow, leans against the door frame, “That should be the title of your autobiography.”

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Marry Me

@mikansei – you… did this <___<

“Officer!” 

Hijikata stopped at the urgent cry and even though he recognized the voice, he still reacted instinctively to seek out the person calling for him in such an uncharacteristic fashion. 

“Officer!” Gintoki yelled again and latched onto Hijikata’s arm. His eyes were wild, his breathing short, and his hair was fluffier than usual, as a cat’s spine would be if it were startled or scared. “I need your help!”

“The hell is wrong with you? What is it?”

Gintoki paused dramatically.

“Marry me.”

Keep reading

the-sparkly-pastel-skeleton-dea  asked:

Okay so for reunion falls.. I was thinking... how would Dipper react to Ford tryin to pull "havin' a twin is shit you should ditch Mabel and be my apprentice" bit, because Dipper already lives in Gravity Falls, and since Ford's kickin Stan out (is that still happening in this au? I assume it is), then Dipper might end up livin with Ford anyway? Idk I'm just wonderin

i actually wrote a LOT of stuff about this pretty recently. as far as ford kicking stan out goes, im actually not sure abt that one, since stan DOES have a kid to raise and i feel like ford would be at least a little sympathetic to that. but anyway, remember what i wrote for the last mabelcorn? mabel and ford are on better terms in this au, and share a certain kinship around having both been targeted by bill. that being said, here’s what i thought of for that conversation:

ford invites dip along for the alien hunt, and doesn’t exactly offer dipper the chance to be his apprentice, but is impressed with his adventuring skills and the fact that dipper has been training in the art of mystery solving for years. au dipper is quite a bit braver than canon dipper after all, and quicker to spring into action right after ford. theres still a bit of hesitation involved, and when ford praises him for his courage, he laughs and remarks that mabel would’ve jumped right away without any thought. ford then confides in dipper that although mabel uses her heart before her head, he can still see how scared she is inside and thinks it would be best for mabel to return home and cease connection with gravity falls, because he’s seen first-hand how much bill has hurt her already and he doesn’t want it to get any worse. he also tells dipper that he can tell mabel’s heart isn’t in any kind of study or quest for knowledge like he is, she’s just a kid having fun, and he can tell that its mostly because she wants to impress dipper and it might be better for her to focus her energy on her own interests, which can’t happen if she stays in gravity falls. dipper reluctantly agrees, saying that he’s always sort of worried about the same thing. of course, this is the part that mabel hears over the walkie-talkie.

for all that mabel and ford’s relationship is better, he still sees her as a child while he sees dipper as more of an equal. he warns dipper that letting mabel become dependent on him, or he on her, is a bad idea, because one day they’re going to have to go their separate ways, and mabel might not be able to handle it (implying that she’ll do something drastic to keep him around, like stan did to him).

so in rfalls its less “ditch your annoying twin and come hang out with me” and more that he’s genuinely worried about her, but he still does his fair share of projecting on dipper (the kid is even more like him than in canon!) and sees him as the stronger twin. to mabel, who’s already freaking out enough about possibly having to go back home without her brother or any of her friends, hearing that her family doesnt believe in her and thinks it might be best for her to leave is a huge blow.

anonymous asked:

Hey, so this weird thing happens to me where I pass out right after I get a shot, even if I'm calm (I'm usually not tho). I was wondering how would Mccree/Hanzo deal with an s/o like that. Bonus: annoyed Mercy tryin to give the shot.

Ah man that ain’t weird at all! And this is coming from a person who would ask for shots from ages 4 and so on so between the two of us I think I’m the weird one literally asking the doctors for shots rip

McCree

- the first time it happens he freaks out asking “Mercy the hell did you put in them!? They are out stone cold!” While Mercy would respond with “I didn’t even inject anything into them I’m just drawing blood!!” With her hands raised in defense

- once his s/o wakes up he would ask them if they are ok and ask what the hell that was because he is still very worried but once his s/o explains to him why they passed out he will calm down a bit but ask why they never told him before this but would tease them and just tell them that now he knows for future reference

- now whenever his s/o gets a shot he insists on having them in his lap so he can hold them so when they pass out they don’t fall or get hurt and will try and calm them down before hand to help make mercy’s life just a bit easier

- McCree would tease Mercy saying something like “oh come on doc’ it isn’t that bad at least I’m here to help, almost like I’m a doctors assistant~” To only have mercy roll her eyes and respond “McCree you wish you were that helpful” but of course only in a teasing way and she would probably apologize after to let McCree know that she was actually joking

- McCree isn’t actually that big of a fan of shots himself so he totally gets it but he is a lot better at dealing with them then when he was younger

Hanzo

- he will notice his s/o’s uneasiness before hand and ask them if they are ok and listen to them and actually be a bit surprised at how much they dislike shots and would ask if it would help to have him there

- when he sees them pass out he is quick to catch them, even more surprised now because he knows they said they didn’t like them but didn’t think they would pass out!

- would double check with mercy to make sure they are all right and would calm down after being reassured and would sit with his s/o after lying them in the table to wait for them to wake up

- when they do wake up he would ask them if they are all right and help them off the table and tell them that they should of told him it was this bad

- he doesn’t mind helping them whenever they get a shot, it kind of reminds him of back when he would help take care of genji because genji hates shots and would have to help him whenever he had to take one

- hanzo is the one to have to hold their arm down when they get a shot finding it embarrassing that he has to show displays of affection in front of Mercy to try and calm you down by telling them everything is ok and kissing their head and holding them and trying to get them to relax their arm and would shoot Mercy a pleading but stern look to be patient if she starts to get some attitude

Just a cutesy Pinescone confession fic, with dorks bein’ dorks

Rated T
1,200 words

“You tired?” Dipper asked after seeing Wirt yawn yet again. It, like many things about Wirt, was totally endearing and it brought a smile to Dipper’s face.

“Well, yeah. Alas, not all of us can learn the ways of the night owl like you can, Dip.” Wirt leaned his head on his hand and smiled at the computer. “I mean, if…maybe if I was in California and you were in Massachusetts, this would be easier since it’s earlier over there, but, then, well, it would be easier if we were both living in one of those places and that—that’s not a thing, um, sadly.” Wirt frowned. Maybe he was more tired than he realised, rambling on like that.

“Mmmm. You should probably, like, go to sleep…at some point…” He considered this. “But if you can stay up later…that would be…you know, cool.”

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Zoolander Starter Sentences
  • Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
  • Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
  • Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
  • Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
  • What is this? A center for ants?
  • I don't wanna hear your excuses! The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!
  • I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
  • It's that damn _____! He's so hot right now!"
  • There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman".
  • Die, you wage-hiking scum!
  • Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
  • Screw you and your little dog too!
  • Listen to your friend ____, he's a cool dude!
  • Obey my dog!
  • You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother.
  • It's a walk-off!
  • ____ is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.
  • Now, what's a while? Like, eight days?
  • Excuse me, bra.
  • You're excused, and I'm not your bra!
  • Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?
  • I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
  • I felt like, "This guy's really hurting me." And it hurt.
  • You is talking loco and I like it!
  • Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."
  • Taste my pain, bitch!
  • I hear words like "beauty" and "handsomness" and "incredibly chiseled features" and for me that's like a vanity of self absorption that I try to steer clear of.
  • If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.
  • You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't.
  • Trippin' on acid changed our whole perspective on shit!
  • Whoa, whoa, easy! How 'bout a "Good afternoon, ____. Thanks for the freak fest last night."
  • They're break-dance fighting.
  • I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.
  • Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.
  • Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?
  • What's the dealio, yo?
  • I'm not an ambi-turner.
  • They're *in* the computer?
  • A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?
  • You have no evidence. ____ destroyed everything.
  • The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!
  • He had to pull his underwear out of his butt to beat you!
  • Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend.
  • Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
  • What say we settle this on the runway?
  • I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
  • This has been an emotional day for all of us. I think we should get naked.
  • Don't ask questions. Just give in to the power of the tea.
  • You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.
  • I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.
  • When I was in 7th grade, I was... the fat kid in my class.
  • Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?
  • I friggin' worship you, man.
  • They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this?
  • Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!

harry does louis’s t injections when he’s feeling all grumbly and not wanting to himself but after the shot, he kisses harry n thanks him

louis always goes to harry when he’s feeling dysphoric

harry always ALWAYS corrects someone if they ever assume louis is cis,,, and louis always feels that little bit of warmth fill him when he does

sometimes louis plays with his packers and tosses them in the air,,, sometimes harry comes home to a d*ck stuck on the ceiling

louis gets harry into his binder so he can experience what it feels like and he laughs when harry gets stuck w it over his head

harry calls him “my sweet boy” and the most softly he ever says it is when louis comes out of surgery,,, and harry films it when louis gets all his bandages off and sees his new chest

Based off the prompt ’You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ McKirk Au



The pill fell into Jim’s glass soundlessly sinking to the bottom of the brown rust colored liquid slowly dissolving while Jim looked up towards the entrance of the bar seeking for somebody, anybody to save him from the man who’d plopped down next to his left. Finding no one he knew to save him, Jim reluctantly turned back to facing forward. He held back a gasp finding the man way too inside his personal space.

“Uhh,” Jim cleared his throat trying to find some dignity. “Personal bubble?”

The man, red hair too bright even with bar lights dimming the atmosphere and eyes brown but dull looked back at him. Jim held back a shiver, he didn’t know why but he sure as shit didn’t want this man as close as he was. Something was wrong with him, Jim just couldn’t figure out what. The bar top was sticky as the man – Jim hadn’t even caught his name or if he did he couldn’t remember – grabbed for the drink he’d brought with him when he’d sat down. He held up his beer bottle. “A toast?”

“To what?”

“Don’t bare your teeth at people, Jimmy. It’s bad taste.” Gaila’s scolding voiced laughed in his head.

Please go away, please go away. Jim’d had a long day and this was just perfect, just what he didn’t need. Some guy trying to pick him up on fucking Thirsty Thursday. Kirk luck running true to form.

Annoying Guy clanked his glass against Jim’s loudly with a thin smirk on his pale pasty face. Even his smile spiked a pit of unease inside Jim. The man waited, patiently switching to look between the drink in front of Jim and Jim's’ lips. The blonde felt a cold chill run down his arms making the hair stand on end. His Danger sense was tingling - something wasn’t right.

Fine. Alright. Just a little bit of liquid courage then he’d tell this guy to beat it. He picked up his glass feeling condensation wetting his hand then brought it up to his mouth–

“Hey! Stop!” A deep accented voice yelled a second before the brim of the glass touched Jim’s lips. He swung his head around seeing a good looking man advancing towards him with fire blazing through his eyes like a mother bear protecting her cubs.  It was the bartender. And he was pissed.

What?

Jim felt his heart race at the sight of him, what? What had he done? He wasn’t starting a fight – for once. He wasn’t trying to pick anyone up – for once. And he wasn’t trying to have a quickie in the bathroom – okay, that was one time… two times. He’d never even been inside this bar before!

The bartender growled, actually growled when he stomped close enough.

“He laced it. Put a pill in your drink, kid.” The batman’s face was red as he spat the words. Jim felt his drink dropping from his hand, it spilled over the already sticky wood. He jerked back when the older man with stubble dusting his chin lunged forward grabbing for the asshole next to him. Anger made Jim’s cheeks redden but before he could do anything the pissed off barman had his would-be drugger out of his seat and across the bar by the collar of his shirt.

Damn. Stubbled Barman was strong.

Jim didn’t noticed the other patrons in the bar quiet down listening in, rubber-necking and trying to get up on tip toes to see what was happening.

“Listen here you little prick,” Barman started just loud enough for Jim to hear over the music. He was an inch in front of Asshole Guy’s face. “If you ever do something like that again I won’t hesitate to shove my foot so far up your ugly ass you’ll be tasting leather.” He snarled as the guy whimpered out something. Barman looked scary, brown and green blended eyes blazing and hair falling down into his face. “I should beat your ass right now for tryin’ to pull somethin’ like that. As it is, I’m not fixin’ to replace my tables again so I’ll just have Spock here escort you out.” A man shouldered his way to beside Jim. He was tall, black haired and though his muscles didn’t bulge there was an air of don’t-mess-with-me about him.

The guy whimpered something out again that Jim couldn’t hear but the bartender shook him hard, silencing him as his head snapped back and forth.

“If I ever see you in my bar again you might find yourself having an accident. Get me?” Then low, so low that even Jim wondered if he’d heard it right the bartender whispered, “No one ever suspects the bartender, get what I’m saying?”

As quickly as it all began Jim saw the man being shoved back and grabbed by the other man who stood next to him. He was then marched – shoved – out the bar roughly. Jim just sat there. Shocked and feeling sick to his stomach. Liquid from his spilled drink made the wood slick and wet, his clothes had taken the brunt of the drugged alcoholic beverage. His pants and lower shirt were soaked. He had to think back, did he drink anything after the guy had drugged it? Shit. He was almost roofied. Shit. That would’ve been bad. Like really bad. Like horribly bad. The guy could have killed him or-or raped him or done anything he wanted with him! Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Hey, kid!” The bartender that had saved him grabbed for Jim’s shoulder when he’s started to sway sideways. “You with me?” His savior looked generally concerned eyeing him without removing his hand. “What’s your name?”

“Jim… Jim Kirk.” His voice was hoarse. He blinked sluggishly feeling bile at the back of his throat. God, he was going to be sick.

“Leonard.” The man said.

Jim blinked at him again. “Huh?”

“My name,” the man – Leonard – chuckled running his hand through his hair. “Take a deep breath Jim, you’re not breathing.”

“Oh,” Jim felt so stupid. In more ways than one. He drew in a deep breath filling his lungs until he couldn’t put any more air inside then let it out slowly. “Thanks for-uh-”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously, no big deal.”

Jim just nodded not trusting his voice. He should really get home, change - possibly throw away - his clothes, go to bed and try to pretend this disastrous night never happened.

“Why don’t I buy you a drink? You can even watch me pour it to make sure.” Leonard gave him a closed lipped smile cocking his head to the side placing one hip against the bar and a hand on his other. Jim shook his head about to protest but then sighed. “Just water would be good at this point.”

Looking down at the wood Jim tried not to feel the stares on his back from the other patrons. So much for a quiet night out. Absently he scratched at a chip in the wood with his blunt fingernail pushing around a cube of ice. A glass of iced water was sat down in front of him the same time as Leonard filled the stool to the right.

“I’m gonna sit with you awhile, alright darlin? You’re gonna be fine.”

Jim felt a smile play over the side of his mouth, he felt oddly comforted by this strange man who’d basically saved his life. He turned towards Leonard feeling warmth swell in his stomach. Leonard looked back at him with an easy smile and a soft look playing in his eyes.

mini-rant about developing diversity in characters

I don’t wanna fault people for being honest about changes, but… my turn to be honest? Admitting they “preferred” old designs of characters- are having a hard time “understanding” the change, or are having trouble “seeing them this way”- (characters that were clearly suffering from a disconnect with the artist that made them mind you)- is uncomfortable and a hurtful thing to admit to us… 

Leading up to when I first got a pixie cut, my mom would constantly remind me that she liked me better with long hair, even though I felt SO COMFORTABLE FINALLY with short hair, after my entire life with shoulder length or longer, after several years of getting the courage to… Yet just on a whim she chose to dismiss all those years of confidence I’d built and the happiness i’d visibly attained because she was more comfortable with me presenting as familiar and feminine and “safe” and not “standing out” which at the time was a code for “not looking like a lesbian.”

Characters are a growth process the same way we grow up. we were 19-20 years old when we made them, and a lot changes and is learned in 5 years. There are distinct reasons we choose to revisit and diversify them away from what they were. I’m sorry that it’s hard for you to see your fave change, but it’s harder for us to see them stay the same just because it might upset some people- the same way I had to choose between my mom being comfortable or me… And the kicker? She got used to it, and prefers it on me now, and she cut her own hair short after a time too because of it. 

Like. Just. Don’t say it. Don’t. We’re not gonna change our minds, we poured so much time and thought into this, so like.. it’s just going to make us unhappy to read. And inb4 “they only want yes-men on their work then, smh” UM haha no. As if we haven’t made it clear a ton of times we appreciate civil discourse and disagreement, let me elaborate: 

Those that complain about how “ur long hair was betterrrr/u should let it grow out againnn…” were usually either “old fashioned/afraid of change/I can’t imagine myself doing it you shouldn’t do it either/associate it with ugly manly lesbians so u make me uncomfortable now” or People with Sexual Preferences ™. I’m not tryin’ to call out anyone specifically but after a half a decade of observance I’m pretty sure those that feel compelled enough to whine about their displeasure just deep down honestly preferred Gale skinny and surrounded in women because it’s hotter/more appealing to them.

Pls keep that to yourself, thanks…

anonymous asked:

Hey Bley, I'm 16 and fat. Not morbidly obese,but thicker than most of the guys at my school. I've always been a little bigger,but I feel like I'm a fit dude trapped in my own body.I put up a strong front, but I'm insecure as fuck and I just feel like fuckin trash whenever I see everyone else in school cus theyre all better looking and more talented than me. I know I gotta go to the gym, since I eat right most of the time, but i just can't will myself to. I feel fuckin pathetic and stuck in limbo

My man. I’m right there with you. I got my gray hair at 14 & was heavy in high school - and let me tell you, a “Newt Gingrich look” isn’t the greatest look to have at literally the most emotionally vulnerable period of your life. BUT HEY, THAT’S WHAT MADE ME SO FUNNNNNNNNY *gunshot*

Let’s get the weight stuff out of the way first, because how you look on the outside is the least important thing here. Here is the solution: Eat better. That’s what it is. You actually don’t have to go to the gym - I mean, you should, because you should be healthy and it’s good for your heart and will stop you from getting sick as much and is something positive you can do to chase the ghosts away etc etc etc blah blah blah - BUT, if you just wanna be less thick, start looking at what you’re eating. I know you say you eat right most of the time, but be more picky about it. What I learned by losing 90lbs was that what you eat is everything. The gym will get you muscles, but really it’s all about what you’re putting in your body. And by the way, being constantly vigilant about what you’re eating is WAAAAAAAY harder than just ripping out a couple reps in the gym, so be nice to yourself about it and don’t get down on yourself if you slip here or there. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. 

Any long term lifestyle change (which is what you are doing) starts with education. I bought “Nutrition for Dummies”, which really helped, but honestly there’s a ton of great stuff on the web that’s all free that you can read about food and how to eat healthy. I like the Fitness Subreddit Wiki (for both eating help and working out help). It’s been eye opening and life changing. The tl;dr is just focus on eating lean meats and veggies and no pizza or pop or fast food or any of that bullshit. I’m happy to answer any more questions you have about what to eat, but I’d bet dollars to donuts that you already mostly know what’s healthy and what’s not. Cool? Cool. (Also, donuts: Not healthy).

If you can’t make it to the gym, but want to get more exercise, here’s a few tricks that I do that help: I work exercise into my daily routine. Do you drive yet? If so, park in the furtherest parking spot away you can every day. Even better: Can you walk to/from school? Always take the stairs, even when you don’t have to - sometimes I’ll have to go from one side of our office to the other, but I’ll walk up the stairs to the third floor, THEN walk across the office, then walk back down to where I’m tryin’ to go. These are all little things, but little things done consistently over a long period of time yield amazing results. Just ask those dudes who built the pyramids (aka “The aliens who visited our planet in ancient times through an interstellar portal that was explained in the documentary TV series StarGate”).

So. Weight stuff: Done.

Now here’s the bigger thing I want you to know: You are not “fuckin trash”.

(Actually, you’re not even “regular trash”.)

YOU’RE NOT ANY KIND OF TRASH AT ALL, DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK! You’re just a fucking insecure guy who is in high school, going through one of the very worst times of your life. That’s what high school is, by the way: One of the worst periods in your life. In EVERYBODY’S life. You feel insecure, sure - so does everyone else. No one - I repeat, NO ONE is having a ball in high school. They might look like they are, but they are not. 10000% not. Everyone, even the MOST RIPPED AND POPULAR MOTHERFUCKER AT YOUR SCHOOL is insecure. I guarantee you this. Dollars to carrot sticks. You are NOT trash or ANYTHING LIKE IT. You’re just a normal insecure guy. Like me.

So.

Let’s talk about the other people you go to school with: Are they more talented than you? Maybe. Are they better looking? Possibly. BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK?!! That shit will never change. As I am writing this, I am currently sitting in an office surrounded by people who are better looking AND more talented than me. SURROUNDED. There will always be people like that (and there’s an argument to be made here that you should always surround yourself with people who are more talented than you, because it will make you better), but the fact that there are people in the world who are more attractive and more talented than you will never change. What WILL change, however - because you are going to change it - is this feeling that you’re not good enough. You are, man. You one hundred percent ARE good enough. You gotta be nice to yourself here.

I know it’s tough, but try to step outside your life for a minute and think of the fact that you are just beginning your life. There is so much more to go - it’s okay if you don’t have your shit together right now! You have plenty of time to discover where your natural talents are. You have plenty of time to discover that particular hair gel that has just the right amount of shine and hold to make your hair dope as fuck so the ladies (or dudes) come flockin’. I didn’t discover how to get my shit together until I WAS IN MY THIRTIES. THAT’S SUCH A LONG TIME. Look in the mirror and take a breath. It’s all going to work out. (And by the way, those people who are good looking now? They peaked too early and will look like shit when you get older - when it actually counts. Trust me on this. Everyone I know who looked cool in high school looks like garbage now. It’s hilarious and I actually enjoy it way more than I should.)

There’s a great commencement speech by this author David Foster Wallace. It’s called “This Is Water.” I love this speech, because he talks about something I wrestle with a lot - and something that you’re currently wrestling with - which is how to deal with the fact that a lot of life can be extremely shitty. His point is that Life is going to be whatever it is going to be; we don’t have any control over that. But what we DO have control over is how we choose to respond to it.

And that, friend, is everything. 

If you can laugh at yourself when you make a mistake; if you can step outside yourself during a boring class and take solace in the fact that everyone else is as miserable and bored as you are; if you can choose to keep in your mind as you go through your day that everyone else you see walking around is at least as horribly insecure as you are, then you will have beaten the game of Life early on. You will have developed an important skill that will serve you well for the rest of your time walking this planet. Life isn’t something that happens TO us - it’s something that we are all in the middle of, participating in, every day - and we get to choose what we think about it and how we want to feel about it. We have that power. Once you realize that, and start living your life through the lens that you can control what you think and how you feel, nothing is impossible.

Also, seriously, high school fucking blows.

Hang tight, friend. It’ll all be over in a couple years.