but i think that goes without saying now

gather round tumblr it’s time for a story about why you shouldn’t solicit conversation with a stranger with a put down about their generation

i sat down about 30 minutes ago in the lobby of a very nice hotel, intending to do some writing. i have my laptop and my cellphone. as i settled, i checked some stuff on my phone, then turned to my laptop. because there aren’t many plugs, i’m sitting in a cluster of couches and instead of being by myself there’s an he’s an older gentleman across from me, polo shirt, salt and pepper hair. was very polite when i asked if he minded if i tucked myself in the corner of the couch

but apparently

apparently

he thinks computers are full of satan or something

because no sooner have i opened up goddamn word when he goes, “you kids and your electronics.”

ah, excellent, unsolicited conversation with a perfect stranger that comes with a critique of modern communication. fight me, bro, you got no idea who you’re tangling with. so naturally i push up my metaphorical sleeves (metaphorical because i’m in a goddamn resort and pavement is melting; i’m wearing a very nice goddamn dress and i’d look like a fucking soccer mom named helen if i had blonde hair) and very politely, i smash his face into the floor with “i’m sorry?” in an utterly flabbergasted tone because dude wtf and no one delivers slick put downs when they’re caught off guard

“i’m here reading my newspaper and after this my wife and i are going on a hike” (lol good luck with that dude the pavement is melting and you want to hike in the mountains) “and we’re going to interact with each other.” he gives my computer a v pointed look

naturally, i have the perfect response to this. it is pithy and eloquent and will surely put him in his place: “i… like to write, and it’s easier on a laptop?”

“it seems to me” (HERE WE GO) “that your generation” (OH GOOD) “is losing the ability to interact with other people.” (O OK) “my grandchildren never take their eyes off their cellphones anymore!” 

and here he pauses and looks at me. as if he expects me to agree. 

so i say “you were born in the 50s, right?” he says he was born in 59. “well, it seems to me that your generation is really fond of adultery, embezzlement, and corporate fraud, among other things, and i’m really enjoying paying for your retirement.”

i admit: i had this line canned after a little snarl i had with my mom the other night.

he stares at me. i stare back. 

“you also realize,” i say, quickly typing socrates kids these days quote into google, “that people have been saying kids these days since socrates said, and i quote, children now love luxury. they have bad manners. contempt for authority. they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” i look up at him. he’s staring at me still.

i’m shaking because man fuck confrontation but also how hilarious is this because i literally had a fight with my mom about this twelve hours ago. i literally have a cranky tweet about it. “so it seems to me that making sweeping generalizations about people based on pretty arbitrary age groupings is kind of ridiculous since i’m pretty sure you’re not cheating on your wife or stealing from your company.”

he goes beat red because now i’m embarrassed him, and i feel really fucking bad because i didn’t mean to embarrass him, but also hey dude fuck you

SO OF COURSE he says “did your parents teach you any manners?”

and there goes the last of my embarrassment because hey fuck you dude the only person who can insult my parents is fucking me. and i say, without even thinking because this is when you have the snappiest rejoinders, “well they did teach me not to open unsolicited conversation with a stranger by insulting them so.”

at this point the dude’s wife shows up and they leave, and the waiter asks me if i want anything to drink and i’m like “yes please give me all your vodka” but instead i say “ice water” because the pavement is melting and if i puke from nerves after that, i don’t want to snort alcohol out my nose

that’s it that’s my story

anonymous asked:

Hey! If you're still taking prompts, could you write about neil and Andrew having a conversation about Neil's past? Like the stuff he had to do to survive and the stuff he went through with the worlds shittiest parents? Also I'm pretty sure neil has killed people like it makes complete sense so maybe andreil talking about that?

There’s a band of pale blue light nipping at the tops of the trees and sharpening the silhouettes of the houses, but everything else is fresh and dark. Andrew smokes with the pack clenched in his fist, the cherry of the cigarette winking at the street lamps winking at the orange moon.

Their front porch isn’t like the rush of the rooftop, but he can get that same jitter of fear from Neil nowadays, and he’s more portable. He’d left him knotted in the bedsheets an hour ago, and knowing he’s inside somewhere at his back is burning him up. Andrew inhales and focuses on the exhale, the way the smoke still tries to hurt him when it should’ve given up. He likes that nicotine doesn’t leave him alone.

Neil slips out the front door and lets the screen door clatter, and Andrew knows that he’s upset before he sits down two steps below Andrew, holding his own head.

He doesn’t ask; just smokes fervently. The moon bobs its head sympathetically, wind catches the smoke and breaks it over Neil’s head like water on rocks.

It occurs to Andrew that Neil isn’t going to start this conversation, because he likes to think things through on his own, solve them wrong, and tell Andrew about his mistakes later. He’s insufferably convinced of his own problem-solving abilities, then obsessed with the mechanism of his own missteps.

“What?” Andrew asks impatiently. He flicks ash from his cigarette and holds it out in front of Neil’s face. Neil sidles through his own tangled thinking for long enough to glance up. He leans forward and sucks the smoke from between Andrew’s fingers.

When he looks away, gusting smoke from his open mouth, he says, “Matt called. We fought.”

You fought,” Andrew guesses.

Neil looks agitated, blue in the choked light, eyes black and furious. “He was being unfair. He keeps trying to tell me what’s right or wrong lately, because he thinks I’ve been— been deprived, like my experiences were outside of humanity, or morality, and it’s so— condescending.”

“You’re only realizing this now? All of the foxes are condescending. It is the only way they can avoid their own failure.”

“This was different,” Neil says, shaking his head. “I can tell when they’re saying things because they want to see my reaction, and this wasn’t that. He meant what he was saying.”

“And what was that?”

Neil goes gagged silent. He shifts backwards up to Andrew’s stair without looking at him, settling into the groove worn into the wood.

“That killing someone makes you a monster. That murder is the worst thing you can do to a person.”

Keep reading

shinee 9th anniversary party shinee day postcard messages

onew: i’m happy! 9th anniversary! needless to say it has been a long time! by your support! it’s the 9th anniversary. i love you! yahoo! that’s right it’s the 9th anniversary.

jonghyun: to. friends~ ! 9 years passed and we’re meeting again like this, i love you.

key: shin99~ i can’t believe it’s the 9th anniversary already!! time passes pretty fast.. we’ll let you hear more news, let’s see each other for an even longer time. love u!

minho: shinee world!! i can’t believe it’s already the 9th anniversary… i mean…. time goes by so fast….. thank you for staying by our side without change during those 9 years, i always say this but, i really think shawols are the best… i sincerely love you, and love you. till the day it’s the 99th anniversary……

taemin: it’s the 9th anniversary~ and now in another year… please give 9-year-old shinee lots of love~~


translated by romanceboys
sourceangelee_taem

→ Paper Doll (pt. 1)

Originally posted by sugutie

☆ pairing → Jungkook x Reader

☆ genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst

 warning sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship 

☆ word count   → 2.1k

summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

i | ii 


a/n  → so basically this is me being coerced into writing jjk smut 
edit: pt i is more of a prologue



[+11,435; -2,003] this really breaks my image of him… proves how you can’t judge someone from their personality on camera

[+9,386; -1,983] all this time he was pretending to be super innocent haha all those stupid fangirls throwing money at him blindly must be going crazy

[+5,903; -1,234] i mean everyone goes through break-ups, but he was cosplaying as an innocent guy who was scared of skinship with girls all these years.. lmao he’s super shamel–

The words on the screen in front of him all blurred and bled into one big stain. He quickly scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, each more condemning than the last. A steady pressure was building in his ears, until the only thing he could see or feel were the accusations of a faceless crowd, all jeering at him loudly, fingers pointed.

It was as if his entire life flashed in front of his eyes right then, and he could suddenly recall every inconsequential and significant thing that had shaped his life the past seven years – the hours and hours spent in front of the mirror rehearsing the same steps over and over again, the taste of soggy ramen Hoseok hyung had let overcook last week, the screams of fans, the sound of his alarm clock, the look on your face when you told him it was over. There was no chronology to the kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses of his past.

“What,” he breathed, hands shaking, eyes wide and disbelieving as his phone fell with a clatter on the table. He desperately wanted to ignore reality, but the stares that were all focused on him kept him grounded to the present.

Of course his first scandal would be linked to you.

Keep reading

Prime Suspect

So I’m running a murder mystery in Pathfinder right now, and one of my players wanted to examine the body of the murdered inn keeper to determine the cause of death. He rolled a nat 1.

Me (GM): Right. Wow. Okay. So you, Zev, approach the body. Lily is still kneeling beside it and weeping, and all of your companions are watching you. The five other guests at the inn are also watching you. You reach out to try and determine how Monty died, and you just… you just cup this dead man’s groin.

-Cue raucous laughter from all my players-

Zev OOC: Oh god! Oh no! Okay, I back up really quickly and I leave the library to go to my room at the end of the hall - but I leave the door open a bit so they can see I’m not trying to run away or be suspicious.

-Cue more laughter, including myself-

Me: Okay, wow, okay. So after cupping Monty for a few seconds, Zev - without saying a word - leaves the library and goes into his bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Not only does everyone now think you’re the prime suspect, they also think you just engaged in a little public necrophilia, and have gone to sort yourself out. You’re doing a great job at solving this murder so far.

littyr  asked:

what do you think drives lady macbeth's cruelty and do you sympathise with her at all?

This post and this post might be of interest. But I think ‘cruelty’ is the wrong word. Cruelty implies violence for the sake of violence and enjoyment of violence. (See here.) Lady M doesn’t revel in the violence. She doesn’t delight in it the way some of the characters in, say, Titus Andronicus do, or even Margaret in Henry VI does after the murder of Rutland/during the murder of York. For Lady M violence is always a means to an end. “Infirm of purpose” is what she calls her husband when he starts to get faint-hearted. He’s too full of the milk of human kindness “to catch the nearest way.” For her, it’s all about the outcome. The ends justify the means. Like I said in one of those posts, I think her driving force is ambition. She wants more than what she has. 

Interestingly, she never expresses any personal desire to be queen. She does, however, use the singular possessive pronoun ‘my’ when she says “The raven himself is hoarse / That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan / Under my battlements.” She claims the crime as her own, and even though the idea of murder occurs to her and her husband independently, she is the criminal mastermind. She says,you shall put / This night’s great business into my dispatch; / Which shall to all our nights and days to come / Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.” And at the end of the scene: “Leave all the rest to me.” This regicide is her baby–and I use that word very deliberately. There are a million possible explanations for why Lady Macbeth is so desperate to seize this power for her husband. My guess is it has something to do with that baby she mentions in 1.7 which doesn’t appear in the play. A woman’s function at this point in history was basically to be a baby-making machine and ensure the survival of her husband’s line. She hasn’t been able to do that (for whatever reason) and her husband, at least, is already middle-aged, so that procreation window is rapidly closing, if it’s not closed already. By early modern standards, that’s a huge dynastic failure. My guess is that her power-grabbing is about agency and compensation. Maybe she can’t continue Macbeth’s line, but she can make him king. And she does

But here’s the other part of it which I think is really important and often gets overlooked, and it goes back to the fact that Lady M never expresses a personal desire to be queen. She wants her husband to be king, and she thinks he is fully deserving of that office. “Thou wouldst be great;” she says, “Art not without ambition, but without / The illness should attend it.” AND THIS IS SO KEY. Because Lady M is nothing if not full of ambition. What she’s saying here is “You don’t have enough darkness in your soul to do this, so I’m going to do it for you.” Now. Is that somewhat fucked up? Absolutely. However, that is an enormous sacrifice to make. I’m not going to get into this in depth, but there’s a lot of natural law theory floating around in this play. What’s important to know is this: In the protestant ethos of this play, if you commit regicide, you are 100% going to be damned for eternity. There’s no doubt about that. So, in an insane backwards way, this is actually an incredibly loving, selfless thing to do on Lady M’s part. She is willing to sacrifice her own salvation to make her husband king. Let that sink in. That is so much more hardcore than just saying, “I’d take a bullet for you, babe.” She is willing to burn for all time to put him on the throne, and not only is she willing, but it’s her idea, not just something she does with her back against the wall. That is a crazy kind of love. And that’s one of my favorite things about this play. This is not a unanimous opinion by any means, but I firmly believe that even though the Macbeths are terrible tyrannical people, they are desperately, devotedly in love with one another. Their language is incredibly intimate. In his first letter Macbeth addresses his wife as “My dearest partner of greatness,” and throughout the play they are constantly struggling to help and heal one another. Theirs is a relationship built on love and equality, whatever else they do (and however their relationship is also sometimes toxic and fractures through the play). Look at Macbeth’s conversation with the doctor in 5.3 when his wife’s health begins to fail: “ If thou couldst, doctor, cast / The water of my land, find her disease, / And purge it to a sound and pristine health, / I would applaud thee to the very echo, / That should applaud again.” That. Is. Love.

So. Why does Lady Macbeth do the terrible things she does? There’s no certain answer. Ambition has a lot to do with it. But I think that ambition is rooted in guilt about what she hasn’t been able to provide her husband with, and a passionate yearning to make up for that, somehow. Leo’s character says in Inception that positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time, and I think that’s true here. Lady M doesn’t orchestrate Duncan’s murder because she’s inherently cruel. She does it for love.

A Zimbits iteration of the tried and true “bed sharing + clothes sharing + it’s really cold” triple trope (feat. bonus love confessions). 

Bitty wasn’t afraid of storms generally speaking, but this one was downright nasty. The team had walked past upended trees—big ones with years of life in them—on the way back from the store. Powerlines were downed. The heating in the house the hockey team had rented for what was meant to be a nice weekend getaway is non-existent because there’s no power.

Bitty lies in the single bed in the smallest room in the house in the pitch darkness and tries not to jump every time a tree bangs into the glass of his window. It’s all so loud.

So, no, Bitty isn’t scared of storms in general, but he’s scared of this storm. For good reason, it turns out, because not a minute after Bitty wishes he’d bailed out of the trip to stay on campus instead, a tree crashes through his roof.

Not the window he’d feared it coming through. The actual roof.

Bitty screams bloody murder.

The tree limb comes through almost all the way to the floor, and water starts dripping down it, heading toward the carpet. Thankfully, it didn’t crash land onto Bitty’s bed, where it would have skewered Bitty. Bitty’s body is thrumming with adrenaline; half terror, half relief.

The door to his room crashes open and Lardo and Shitty practically fall through.

“Fuck,” Lardo says, shining one of the torches they’d bought earlier at the tree.

“Goddamn,” Shitty states. “You alright, brah?”

Bitty tries to speak but it doesn’t quite work. He realises it’s because his body is locked up, he can’t even move his fingers apart. That’s going to be a problem.

“What’s going on?” Jack comes in behind Lardo and Shitty. A knight in rumpled sleep clothes. He surveys the scene, adding his own torch light to Lardo’s. He manages to look calm, and it helps Bitty to see it.

“You shouldn’t stay in here,” Jack deduces, looking over to Bitty, who is slowly encouraging his limbs into movement.

“No shit,” Lardo adds.

“You can take the floor in our room,” Shitty offers. “We’ll put some pillows down for you.”

“No.” Everyone turns to looks at Jack, surprised. “Stay with me.”

Keep reading

‘i can’t help but want’ epilogue

i wrote a short little piece for @legendarydesvender for her birthday. i’d just released this fic when we started talking, and i still remember fondly that she doodled a little spock!keith for me during the livestream that we met in. happy birthday sven!! you’re lovely and wonderful and make me laugh every single day  💖💖💖

keith/lance (2112 words) 

Keep reading

Steve Rogers (NSFW Alphabet)

Number three for my 500 follower thing! Steve Rogers for @sistasarah-sallysaidso 

tags: @yourtropegirl @itsanerdlife @lipstickandwhiskey @captainumeboshi @feelmyroarrrr @emily-james-barnes (maybe. do you like steeb? i forget)

A/N: i’ll add links later, if i have time. 

Keep reading

dailymail.co.uk
Meet the college student Harry Styles wrote the song 'Carolina' about

The mystery girl who pop star Harry Styles wrote about in love song ‘Carolina’ is a beautiful 20-year-old college student he met on a blind date, DailyMail.com can reveal.

The star was clearly bowled over by pretty brunette Townes Adair Jones who he met in Los Angeles a couple of years ago.

And the One Direction heartthrob decided to include her - and details of their memorable liaison - on his self-titled debut solo album.

DailyMail.com can reveal that Styles, 23, met Townes through mutual friends of her sister, actress Gilland Jones, while on a break from recording his album.

Keep reading

“i love you”

imagine magnus is in danger and alec is doing everything he can to get him back, alec needs him back so badly that he goes slightly a-wall on the others and decides he can do it by himself. imagine after hours of war and destruction the others find alec desperately running around searching for magnus. imagine jace starting to run forward, glad to see alec again but izzy catches is arm and shakes her head sadly. imagine they all watch as alec calls magnus’ name repeatedly until his voice is rough and eventually just a whisper, there are tears in alec’s eyes as he refuses to give up. imagine just as he turns to face the others he hears a soft voice behind him, magnus whispering “alec?” as alec spins round and without hesitating pulls magnus into a tight hug, sobbing into magnus’ shoulder.  imagine alec whispering “i thought i’d lost you” as magnus gives a weak smile and says “now why would you think that?”. imagine alec just giving out a sigh of relief and muttering “i love you” as magnus pulls back in surprise and stutters “alexander…i”. imagine magnus’ voice breaking as he goes to say it, “i…i love you too”. imagine, both with tears in their eyes, they rest their foreheads on each others before magnus leans in and kisses alec softly, his heart beating fast because he finally feels happy.

Uruha’s Blog ー Riot City Cherry Blossoms of Imbecility

Yesterday at Zepp Osaka Bayside we were able to finish our additional 「Riot City Cherry Blossoms of Imbecility」tour.
It really was a short tour that passed in a flash but the tour itself was something we hadn’t done in a while and since we don’t really have a lot of shows this year, it means a lot to me to be able to share my time with everyone who supports us through these LIVES, I guess, that goes without saying but still, I feel like this time it’s even more than usual. 
This time, even though they were our own songs, we’ve really learned a lot by going back to the past, and while I think it was a super exciting tour that I really enjoyed, it did make me wanna work on some new music.
After all, I feel like I understand now that what’s so incredibly important to me is the element of music that makes me take great pleasure in always moving forward, progressing and pursing new things.
…Not only in that sense, but by looking back on our past we’re gonna keep getting stronger, also thanks to a venture like this one, so in many ways I think, it turned out to be a short but very good tour.
We will have some time off until our next show in the summer at BIAB, but I really look forward to sharing the nice atmosphere and scenery at that outdoor concert with you guys, hope to see you there!!

I'm sorry how what was a what's what now??

I used to work at a museum and I have SO MANY fuck customers (well visitors) as well as bless visitors stories but I thought I’d share the weirdest question I ever got because it still makes me giggle and it might cheer someone up!

So yeah I had been working at the museum for a few months now and you usually have tidbits of information memorised, like how old this mummy is or where was this T Rex skeleton was discovered and if a visitor asks something we don’t know we have iPads/tablets to find out.

Well I’m in the prehistoric exhibit with the T Rex skeleton and it’s pretty quiet and I hear this young (admittedly cool looking) couple not arguing but like there is a debate going on and then the guy spots me.

I ask them if I can help and they explain that they have a query about T Rex’s in general. Now I’m trying guess what they’re about to ask like “were they fast runners?” “where were the bones discovered” all questions I automatically knew the answers to. Not this one though. And thank god there were no children around.

“How big would a t rex’s dick have been?”

I think it goes without saying that I had to pull out of the iPad for this one.

TL;DR hipster couple ask me about dinosaur genitals. Oh and in case you were wondering; 1. It’s an ongoing debate, a lot of scientists say up to 45 miles an hour and some believe that they couldn’t run at all 2. South Dakota. 3. possibly anywhere from 10 inches to a foot long.

why i adore the front bottoms

im in a decent mood rn and im listening to elvis depressedly, so im gonna write about why i care so much about the front bottoms for anyone who’ll read it.

* They make me happy. Happier than I’ve ever been my entire life. I’m not depressed and I don’t consider myself a sad person, but Jesus, it’s like I don’t even know what sadness is when I’m listening to them. 

* I can only describe it as finally “finding my place” when it comes to music. As someone who is constantly surrounded by rap/trap music, and has never been into that type of music, it took a real long time for me to find a genre of music I relate too. It was never trap music, or pop music, I liked screamo for a few years but eventually I stopped that too. And it’s like I finally found something that I understand

* I consider them my “happy place”. I never understood what people meant by a band changing their lives, because, you know, it’s a freaking band, you never met them, they don’t know you.. How can it become anything more than thinking: “Wow, I really love this song”. But it can and it’s a really lovely feeling. 


*  They introduced me to other bands who make me happy. Without them I don’t even know where I’d be right now. I literally have no idea. Probably going downhill hella fast considering my anxiety has been acting up lately for reasons I don’t even know. I’d have to start seeing someone again. It’d be awful. I’m not saying my anxiety goes away 100% when I listen to them and I’m magically all better again, that’s not how it works (for me at least). But it helps quite a lot. And the other bands they introduced me too do the same thing; if tfb isn’t working for me that night I switch to Modern Baseball, etc. 

*I just get this feeling of rightness every time I hear Brian’s voice or I watch Mat drumming, and my stomach and heart get all fluttery and everything is so right, you know? And I’ve never felt that before. 

Road to Success: Before Opening for Commissions

Artist’s Notes

**First off! I made this specifically for DeviantArt, and then realized that it really applies to every artist who is looking to get into the market of freelance work. I apologize that this journal references that site specifically quite a bit, but the information is still solid.

Commissions. Commissions. Commissions!
It’s all anyone on here seems to talk about. It’s like a measure of popularity.
But there’s a lot of danger in opening for commissions before you’re prepared, and that’s what this particular journal is about. Let’s avoid the common commission pitfalls (a journal for another day  ) and get a healthy, fully prepared start!

Build Your Fanbase

I’ve seen some people join deviantArt (or other sites) and instantly expect to get commissions. We’re talking the same day that they sign up.
Sorry, that’s just not how it works. Actually, you’ll be lucky to get commissions on deviantArt at all. DeviantArt is a community of artists. Sure, there are some buyers on here as well, but very rarely will you find regular work on this site. I like deviantArt because it’s a social network with other artists. It’s a place where I can come to make friends and learn. Sure, I can advertise myself on here, but most of my work comes from my Twitter, Tumblr, and own legwork.
I’d recommend establishing yourself with the same username in as many places as you comfortably can. When you’re narrowing down the prospects, I’d say to avoid small, start-up art communities (you know the ones I’m talking about, those “exclusive”, “by invite only” art sites. Who is going to buy your work there?). Make yourself known on established websites where there is already a user base to be a part of. Twitter, Tumblr, Art Station, Behance, deviantArt, LinkedIn, ConceptCookie and even FurAffinity (if you’re into that kind of thing) are all fantastic options.

Understand Pricing and it’s Consequences 

First off, don’t sell for points. Points is quite literally the equivalent of pocket change. 80 points is $1.
That means that if you’re selling a full color image for 500 points (which I see all the time) you’re selling it for $6.25.
$6.25 for a full picture. A full picture that I can promise you’ve spent more than a half an hour on.
I’ll write a full journal on how pricing works, but generally, you should not be selling your work for less than minimum wage per hour.
I’ll go through a lot of other pricing options in the other journal, but keep in mind that you are working on artwork. This is your time and you should be paid for it. Yes, you might absolutely LOVE doing artwork (so do I!) but you should still be paid for creating images for other people.
If you choose not to be paid now, or to be paid in pocket change now, or to be paid for $5/hr now, you’ll likely regret it later. Your “target market” for lower pricing will not be the same as your target market for average pay. People who pay in dA points likely won’t be returning for more work later, and if they do, it’ll be for the same price. People who are willing to pay what your work is worth are more likely to be repeat customers, are likely to talk more about your work if you do a good job, and are, of course, willing to give you the amount that you deserve so that you’re doing less work for the appropriate amount of money. If you spend most of your time targeting the lower-range market you won’t be able to raise your prices later. (For the record, I’m not talking about general watchers and followers, some people just can’t afford to buy art or don’t need it, but they’re no less valuable in terms of having an awesome fan base. We’re strictly talking about clientele here).

Create a Strong Terms of Service Agreement

Do your research!
Don’t just look at other ToS Agreements on deviantArt, many of them are not strong. If you can’t afford to hire an attorney, do some serious Google searching. There are a ton of really good samples of what your ToS should include.
Again, I’m planning a full journal for this as well, but a few points I could make right now are to include;
A) That you own all rights to your work. Make sure that this is a part of your Terms of Service. Yes, it goes without saying that you own what you make, but many times customers have the misinformed idea that because they’ve paid you they automatically own the artwork and can sell it, make prints of it, etc.
B) A clause about what happens if you become ill. I know it’s likely not something you’re thinking about now, but what if you take a commission and suddenly become ill or are involved in an accident of some kind? You’ll want to detail out what happens. Does the customer get a full refund? Do you require an extension on the work deadline? Do you retain their deposit or the payment for the work that’s been completed, but refund the rest? Think about this now, not later.
C) Bounced checks and returned payments. What if the client pays you in a check and it bounces? What happens if they do a charge-back with PayPal? Is there a fee that you’ll need covered? Most companies have a Returned Payment Fee because they don’t want to get stuck with the fee from the bank or processing center. It’s a smart fee to have included in your contract. From a consumer point of view, I know we all hate that fee, but from a business perspective, it’s a smart idea to have.
D) Do you have a Rush Fee? If a client contacts you and says “I need this done in three days time!” and your average turn around is a month, will there be an additional charge? Keep in mind that this means you’ll be putting all your other clients on the back burner, working longer hours than usual and possibly even weekends or holidays - maybe both. Most artists do have an additional charge for this. Think of it as over time.

**Have a Terms of Service before you open for commissions. Not after. Don’t wait for something to happen where you wish you’d had one.** 

Have Samples of Your Work

Weirdly enough, I felt the need to add this in here. I’ve seen a few people open for commissions that they don’t even have examples for. I’ve been contacted by people who have seriously told me “I don’t have any samples of animation, but I’m a really good animator. I work for $50/30 seconds. When do I start?”.
What?
No!
Don’t be that person. If you’re offering character design commissions, have some samples. If you’re offering storyboard commissions, have some samples. Illustration? Have some samples. Badges? Make some samples. Animation? You guessed it. Samples.
By doing this you’re not only showing your potential customers that you can provide the work you’re claiming you can and giving an example of quality, you’re doing yourself a favor by knowing an approximate of how long it’s going to take you to finish the work so you’re not overcharging your customer or short changing yourself.

In Closing

Remember! These steps aren’t just to help you get more commissions, they’re there for your protection. You don’t want to be involved in an all-too-common horror story scenario where a client can take advantage of you, and you don’t want to give your client a horror story about yourself (that they’ll undoubtedly share with every one of their friends and followers).

Protect your client, protect yourself, and protect your business.

So! I hit 1k followers (DAFUQ?!) & I figured, since I’m going to be leaving soon, that I should do a follow forever (because everyone does one at one point or another lmao) These are pretty self explanatory, so let’s just get to it before I die from this sriracha cabbage… 


Honorable Babes ♡

@apollonic {Sophie}

So you know I had to start this out with you, right? You are one of the most kind hearted, humble people I know. You have a diamond heart and I 100% mean this when I say there were some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed and you gave me the inspiration to take on the day. You already know how much you mean to me, even when we don’t talk for weeks or even when I suck at replying, I know I’ll always be somewhere in your heart, and you in mine. Thank you for being such a good friend. Oh, and by the way… your fashion is A1 and you make me feel like a total shrimp in comparison. I love it!

@archistratego {Eliot}

Heyyyy Eliot. ( / ; u;)/ ~♡ So I’ll try not to be a marshmallow for once and actually be serious. You and I have not known each other for long, but you’ve already become someone very important to me. I think we talk every day now? I know this because every day now I get this stupid smile on my face from your beaming optimism even when you yourself are feeling down. You are a knight if I’ve ever seen one, and are more talented than you will ever realize. Please be good to yourself; ily!

@auroremus {Bruna}

Girl.. ewe So you know… I had to get payback for that cuteness you displayed on your FF, right?? Can we all just take a moment to appreciate this cute being for a moment?? Okay. As you said, you and I don’t know eachother well, but you are honestly so fun to talk to. Some of the things you say has me cracking up, and I must say, thank you for putting up with my shitty communication skills. Also, your ambition is something I could only dream of acquiring. 

@dreadwvlf {Tallie}

Ahem.. I just want to say… Jimin is still  the ultimate bias wrecker. DON’T KILL ME!! Taeyang is great, BUT… dat Park Chimchim doe… (~e we)~ You and I hold the record for longest period of time talking about the same thing (…3 months..) OKAY, it might be because I’m retarded when it comes to responding on tumblr BUT, you were one of the first people I started talking to on here, and you love Kpop? Girl. GIRL. You are and forever will be my aegyo queen, and we shall bond over the untimely death of T.O.P’s wonderful hair (because you know they shaved that shit) 

@keries {Sierra}

My love, it goes without saying that you are the most important person to me. It’s kind of crazy. You’ve somehow found a way to enchant me, to pull my cold little heart out of it’s year long hiatus and now it can’t let go. You are perfection to me, and you make up for all my painfully obvious short comings. Every day I feel so lucky to have found you, and while I’m gone, you will be the first thing I think about in the mornings and the last thing I think about before bed. You are my wings as I am your anchor. Thank you for putting up with me. I love you. ♡♡

@opalynch {Ailen}

My little Maebear.. Do I even need to type this?? It’s so obvious that you are so so so so special to me. Like, I can’t even put it into words. I still to this day have no idea how we got talking, but it was one of the best decisions I’ve made on this tragic site. No one can take your place, and you have a permanent spot in my heart. You are so incredibly cute and ugh, such an angel. Where have you been all my life?!

@papakoscheis {Sara}

Sawa! (Okay I know what you’re thinking… can I NOT be a fucking marshmallow for one second?! The answer is.. no.) Okay so confession time. I kind of high-key stalked you for like a week before you followed me. I mean I’m going to act like I NEVER said that, but it’s the truth. Your whole existence is my aesthetic and you are so eclectic and unique, not to mention so damn smart. You’re going to go far in life and I’m going to ride those damn coat tails to victory!!! There’s nothing you can do to stop me! c:<

@tragicpatroclus {Daisy}

Okay… so… confession time again… You were the first person I ever talked to on this (still tragic) site. You are my first friend here! You took my tumblr virginity! I didn’t even get dinner out of the deal but hey, I’m… totally.. fine with that. Dates are overrated anyway.. >_> Seriously though.. where’s my dinner?! You are legitimately the smartest person I’ve met here. I’m not even kidding. You and I can seemingly talk about anything. I love it! Thank you so much for putting up with my shitty schedule and equally shitty social skills (I’m starting to see a trend here) you too have a place in my heart and I know you’ll soar like a wonderful eagle. Or Pegasus. I mean, your choice. c:

@virtuestars {Luna}

Last but not least! Okay so since I’m prone to going on and on and on, I’m going to try to sum this up in a paragraph. YOU ARE AMAZING! You and I met at a very trying time in my life, and talking to you really improved me. We can always procrastinate together and holy shit, I’m so excited for you to be studying abroad! We will totally have to go out and party sometime. I probably have to most in common with you out of anyone on this post and just knowing I can trust you with my thoughts, any of them, makes me feel so secure in our friendship and I hope and pray you feel the same. Love you!


❦ Loriat’s Follow Forever List

Legend: Babes | Mutuals | ⋆Inspos⋆

1 ~ C

@102runway @achielles ⋆@acuite⋆ @admlynch @alyxhathaway11 @apollonic@archistratego  @arrtemiss @arthoesunshine @asteriaria @astoryillnevertell @astrae @astraera  ⋆@astreay@astveria @asweetshame @auroremus @aurorras @banshy @bellatryks @benbornes @bilboh @bleeding-typewriters @bsargent @calliophes@calliophies@casimeres-lair @castielles @chaleurette @chovchang @cruciatuz @cuipid @czeornys

D ~ H

@dawnstvr @dementvr @divinetheta @dravvings @dreadwvlf @dreamthievves @drunklesbian @eclairer-le-ciel @eileenbahar-arts @emblazecl @english-idylls @eorumverba @exyjosten @ettheseus @eumycota @faeheys @fairydusts @featherumbrellas @firetomypride @fixyourwritinghabits @fleurdealcours@fleurrdelacour@fntstory @foxandstardust @frenchpoetry @fscottfitzgerld @game-of-quotes @gansaey @georgiableedscreativity@ginnys@halaltequila @hautescoutures @hayleylkiyoko @hckat @herhmione @herrmione @herxnstairs @histcries @huffelpuff@hynpos

I ~ N

⋆@ibuzoo⋆ ⋆@illuminosity@immobvlus@inkmagician@inksomniac @isabellasharp @jesprefahey@jilys@keries @ketterdvvm @khaleesee @kingscross @kinqstark @kknotted @kvnvki @lefleurette @lhzthepoet @liilyevans @lilyevians @literateure @lleotolstoy @longbottomed @looonyluna @lord-byronn @lostintales @lxcuna @lumosmaxima @lupins @meaningless–poetry @meetmeinadaydream @merflk @metanoiac @minjard @minrd @mjnyard @moody-nature @moongloss@moonrivier @narcsissa @nature-is-gorgeous @nehmesis@neptuneve @njmphadora   @nobunny88 @nubiferum

O ~ T

@ocxnus @oneihroi @okaymacaulay @okayodysseus @opalynch @opheliamayersv @orgaena @orlandcbloom @orros @oscarwiilde @othellos ⋆@oylmpians⋆ @paintedemons ⋆@papakoscheis⋆ @parisfashionhouse @patroiclus @pequicks ⋆@persrephone⋆ @petrichovr @pipedream@pltrch⋆ @poeets ⋆@pohroro⋆ @prcserpina ⋆@priveting⋆ @ptxd ⋆@pushkins⋆ @qiu-jin @quotes @quotethat @reveiling@rcbynn@rhaegals @rogvepilot @royaltea@rykesmeadow@sealands @simplyvibes @siriusblsck @sofhtie @softalina @softdegas@softfeyre@softheartedpoet @softmeliorns @softstained @starspvn ⋆@stormybisexual⋆ @stormxarie @storyexcerpts @suburbanmomjeans @svvackhamer ⋆@swansmonet⋆ @sxofcrows @tcrtarus @tedtonks @thcodorcnott @theclassicsreader @thehound @therepublicofletters @thewinedarksea @thewritershandbook @thewrittenmagic @thoughts-positivity @tidsource @tinselswan @tlnagoldsteln @tragicpatroclus @tranquilist @tresmoreau

U ~ Z

@ulyxxes @umfleur @unwrittenphrases @vanettineros@veinus@velvetcloak @velvetglrl@versaillcs@vesrailles @virtuestars @vivalcli @voldemxrt @voneverec @vvintervveiss @whereicarusfell @williamherxndale @wordsbydominic@written-in-pen@yalitsquad @zoyalina!

Thank you so much to everyone on this list for being my friends, my inspirations, and having such wonderful content for me to oogle at all day! I will miss you all so dearly.  ♥