but i think it still looks okay

Purposeful Piercing Damage

Context: A tutorial level before we get started on the actual campaign. The loot after the Final Boss is the random trinkets they’ll carry over into the canon campaign, and one in particular was the single teardrop earring made of a real tear from the Player’s Manual. This was given to our druid by our paladin who insisted it would look better on them. 

Half-Elf Druid (OOC): I don’t think Iota actually has pierced ears?

Tiefling Warlock: I can help you pierce it. 

Half-Elf Druid: Yeah! If this goes wrong I’ll be screaming bloody murder. 

DM: Like that scene in the parent trap?

Half-Elf Druid (OOC): EXACTLY like that.

DM: Okay, I am going to have to make you roll for this. Fuck, what would that even be, medicine? 

Tiefling Warlock(OOC): I have high medicine stats I think.

DM: Alright, fuck it, still covered in the goo from the slime monster you’ve just killed, in a dank, moldy tower, you go to pierce Iota’s ear- Medicine check please

Half-Elf Druid (OOC): I heat up the metal to cauterize the wound. 

DM: Okay, medicine check with advantage 

Tiefling Warlock: 19 - HAVE AT THEE EARLOBE 

DM: You have successfully pierced Iota’s ear holy SHIT

for @robertisbisexual, because this little ficlet was 99% her idea anyway.

aaron’s still not used to being a parent, sometimes. otherwise known as that time he doesn’t realise ellen is looking for him.

Aaron’s strolling through the village, phone out, when he hears the first yell. He’s distracted by something Liv is texting him about (something he can only assume is going to lead to another meeting with her form tutor about Liv’s behaviour) and so he doesn’t take much notice.

Until he hears it again.


Ellen’s in her buggy, on the opposite end of the road, Rebecca just rounding the corner from the bus-stop, clearing having had been on a walk with the little girl. Aaron couldn’t help but smile as he noticed Ellen was clutching the elephant teddy bear he had bought her, sticky fingers wringing the already well worn neck.

He gives them a wave, before continuing on his journey down the road toward the cafe. He’s got a list of lunch orders, volunteering to go and get food for Adam, Robert and Jimmy (with Robert’s card, because his husband leaves his wallet lying around the scrapyard and Aaron’s always happy to spend his money, thought the joint bank account they’d just applied for was going to leave that null and void) purely to escape the stifling warmth of the portacabin.

“Papa! Papa!”

Aaron frowned to himself, wondering if Robert had come into the village after all, wondering why Ellen had suddenly decided to call him papa, over daddy, all the while Ellen yelling papa down the main street, Rebecca trying to hush her yells.

And then it dawns on him.

He’s papa.

Ellen had only called him papa for the first time a few weeks previously, and so he still wasn’t used to it.

God, she was looking for him.

Shoving his phone in his pocket, Aaron couldn’t help the flush in his cheeks as he realised half the village was out, and staring at Ellen’s hysterics, embarrassed that he hadn’t realised sooner.

Ellen was straining at the straps of her buggy, cheeks red hot and stained with tears as she looked at Aaron. “Papa!” she called mournfully, waving the elephant at him. “Papa!”

Glancing at Rebecca to make sure it was okay, Aaron unhooked her from her buggy, gathering the little girl into his arms, holding her tightly to his chest. Ellen stayed grumpy and upset for a second, hands hanging at her sides, before she hugged him, tiny arms straining to hook around his neck.

“Papa,” she said unhappily, pressing her cheek against Aaron’s.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Aaron said quietly, only loud enough for Ellen to hear. “Papa was being silly.”

Ellen beamed at him, Aaron instantly forgiven. “Papa, play?”

“I wish I could, but I’ve got to get your dad lunch, haven’t I?” Aaron said, balancing her easily on one hip. It was funny, really, how quickly she’d become a part of his daily life, how he considered her his, as much as she was Robert’s and Rebecca’s. “Tell you what though, if it’s alright with your mum, there could be a cookie at Bobs with your name on it.”

Rebecca laughed at the delighted expression on Ellen’s face, nodding. “I was heading there anyway,” she admitted, the two of them falling into step beside each other as they headed for the cafe, Ellen nattering excitedly in Aaron’s ear about her morning spent at the soft play area in Hotten.

“Made a house!” Ellen declared, her hair neatly plaited into tiny little braids, a better job than he or Robert could ever pretend to do, tiny little bows knotted at the end of each braid.

Aaron looked at her, bright eyed, and proud. “That’s amazing! I hope your mum took pictures,” he said, nudging the door open with his hip, setting her down on the floor so she could toddle toward the counter. “Tell Bob I’ll be there in a second, okay?”

“You still not used to her calling you papa?” Rebecca asked, not unkindly, shoving the empty buggy into a corner. “Sometimes, when she’s yelling mummy, I think she’s looking for Chrissie - because it still makes more sense to me, that Chrissie’s a mum.”

Aaron laughed, a little relieved, if he was honest. “I cried, when she first called me papa,” he admitted, the word making his heart swell a thousand sizes as he listened to Ellen excitedly gesture at the cookies, a fond look on Bob’s face as she told him her papa was buying her one.

“I’m glad we’re making this work, Aaron,” Rebecca said, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she spoke, half an eye on Ellen. “She’s lucky to have you.”

“Some kids don’t have anyone,” Aaron said, stark reminders of his own, all too often lonely childhood hitting him as he watched Ellen, realised how loved she was. “She’s got three.”

Rebecca gave his elbow a squeeze, smiling. “Send her back to me when you need to head off,” she said, settling herself into one of the couches, looking delighted to have a few minutes to herself.

Aaron couldn’t help but grin as he scooped Ellen up, dangling her upside down, her laughter filling the cafe. “Did you pick a cookie?” he asked, turning her the right way around, Ellen poking him in the cheek with a grin that was oh-so reminiscent of Robert.


“You can have one,” Aaron laughed, rolling at his eyes at Bob. “One, beans.”

Ellen looked thoughtful for a second, before pointing to a chocolate cookie. “Love ‘oo papa,” she beamed, planting a messy kiss against Aaron’s stubbly cheek, scrunching up her nose in dislike as his rough facial hair rubbed against her skin.

It was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen in his life. 

There and then, Aaron decided that ‘love ‘oo papa’ was one of the very best sentences he’d ever heard in his life.

He could definitely get used to being a papa.

Okay okay okay.  So, I’m trying my hand at writing YOI.  Not sure how this turned out, but here you all are 

Yuuri and the rain had a love-hate relationship. Yuuri loved it, and the rain hated him. Despite how shitty it made him feel, he still continually sat in the pouring rain. The world was just beautiful during a rain fall. The hustle and bustle of everyday life came to a halt - everything was still and quiet. Water droplets formed on the trees and leaves, making them look like they were glistening. Victor looked beautiful in the rain, too - especially when the water droplets landed on his eyelashes, making them look impossibly longer and fuller.

Victor loved Yuuri, he loved most of his quirks. This, however, was one that Victor could do without. Yuuri’s tendency to sit in the rain always, without a doubt, ended with him catching a monster of a cold (or flu if he was especially unlucky).

“Yuuri, please.” Victor pleaded, tugging on his fiancé’s arm. “You can watch the rain from inside, I don’t want you getting sick again.”

“But Vitya.” Yuuri whined, stopping in his tracks while Victor attempted to shove him inside. “Look how beautiful it is out.”

“Yuuri.” Victor grunted, turning around and trying to shove him with his back.

Yuuri ignored him. They were outside of their home, and Yuuri walked over to the middle of their lawn and sat down, looking up at the sky. Victor shook his head in defeat, and went to sit next to Yuuri.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It’s very beautiful. I just don’t understand why you can’t admire the beauty from inside.”

“It’s not the same.”

They sat together for a while, neither of them saying a word.

Then, a sneeze punctuated the silence. Victor’s eyes snapped to Yuuri.

“Ah, Yuuri.” He started. “I think it’s time to get inside.”

“F-five m-more minutes.” Yuuri sniffled, sneezing once more, uncovered towards the ground, and then shivering lightly.

Victor put a hand between Yuuri’s. “No. You’re done, Yuuri. Let’s go. It’s time for a hot shower and some warm, dry clothes.”

Yuuri was thoroughly chilled to the bone. He had stayed in the shower, with the water turned the hottest it would go, for thirty minutes until the water turned cold.

After he was dry, he bundled up in sweats, a long sleeved shirt, sweatshirt (Victor’s), scarf and hat. Victor (who had also dried off and changed clothes) had him on the couch, underneath a thick duvet with a hot cup of tea.

“How are you feeling, Yuuri?”


“You sound stuffy. Are you already getting sick? Usually you have a day or so.” Victor frowned, soft concern evident in his voice, and in the way he was looking at Yuuri.

Yuuri shrugged, opting to keep quiet about the fact that he had been feeling tired and run down lately. Sitting in the rain had been a mistake, he knew it was, but he couldn’t help himself.

He sniffled, his eyelids dropping as he buried his face in the duvet and let out a string of sneezes, each one sounded even more congested and tired than the last, and Victor’s concern increased tenfold after the fifth. Finally, it died down, and Victor handed him the box of tissues. Yuuri plucked one from the box, and sniffled thickly into it as Victor placed a cool hand on his forehead.

“I think you’re running a fever, lyubov’ moya. Have you been feeling unwell lately, or is this just because of the rain?”

Yuuri shrugged, shivered even more and burrowed deeper into his blanket cocoon. Part of this was his attempt to get warmer, but a bigger part was to avoid eye contact.

“I…um…guess I haven’t been feeling great these last few days.”

Victor’s expression hardened. “Then what made you think that sitting in the rain was a wise decision, hmm?”

“I’m sorry, Vitya.”

Victor sighed. “I just hate seeing you not feeling well.”


Yuuri woke up around two that morning, miserably sick.

He was shivering, much more than earlier, even though he was buried under a mountain of blankets. That, coupled with how hazy and fuzzy he felt, let him know his fever had spiked. He could feel his night shirt sticking to his body, his back was slick with sweat, but he could feel the chill deep in his bones. He was aching, too - his head, his muscles, his throat - and all he wanted was for Victor to hold him and tell him everything would be alright and that this would pass.

He whined pitifully.

This made Victor stir.

“Yuuri?” He mumbled tiredly, his voice rough from sleep.

“Victor.” Yuuri croaked, going into a coughing fit. His chest was tight from the congestion, and he found himself wheezing.

Victor had him in a sitting position in an instant. “Can you breathe?”

Yuuri nodded - the change in position helped immensely, but also made his head swim. “Thank you.”

“You’re burning up, Yuuri.” Victor said softly, putting the back of his hand on his cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Not well.” Yuuri mumbled, nuzzling into Victor’s hand.

“I know.” Victor cooed, stroking his burning cheek. “I’m going to get you feeling better though, yeah? Sound good?”

Yuuri nodded wordlessly, and Victor stacked some pillows behind him, which allowed him to relax back.

“Close your eyes, lyubov’ moya. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Yuuri nodded, drifting to sleep while he waited for Victor to come back.

anonymous asked:

what is your fav deckerstar scene

Copy/pasted from a previous ask here

Why do you do this tO ME. This is like choosing a favorite child?! I love all of their moments so much?? Okay but if I must.

I’m very old school deckerstar haha. My favorite moment still stands at 1x04: the wing scar scene.

Why? There was something so immensely tender and heartbreaking about both of them. I think this was the first time that Chloe saw past Lucifer’s mask and also the first time Lucifer let his mask slip. Just the look he gave her, like something in him just shattered. It was like this was the first time someone had actually shown genuine concern for him. He walked out expecting her to be completely distracted with…other things. He expected her to graze over the scars, maybe drag her nails across them in bed, but instead Chloe does something he never would expect. She shows that she cares and that changes everything that Lucifer has ever desired.

The same goes with Chloe’s perspective. Before this Lucifer was delusional and arrogant, but the moment she sees those scars something inside her seems to break. I think she believed his Daddy Issues, but when he says they were a gift from his Father, that does not sit well with her. Now she has him in this completely new light and I think this is the first time she even considered there was more to Lucifer than sex and drugs.

These newfound discoveries just immediately put more trust and compassion between them than they have with anyone else on this show. It just, to me, is the most heart-wrenching deckerstar scene to watch.


The poll is closed.

Total 24 Votes

18 people voted for Vampyre S/O x Jim Kirk

6 people voted for Vampyre Daughter x Jim Kirk

Looks like we are getting some vampyre love! Congrats!

(I still think I’m going to write that Vampyre Daughter x Jim Kirk in the future with slight Spirk in it. I’m planning lots of angst so stay tuned.)

Okay so this AU will be a Star Trek and House of Night series crossover. Basically a Star Trek Universe in which Vampyres exists.

Don’t worry. You won’t have to read the House of Night to read this series. I will introduce you to the world of Vampyres as I progress with my own story.

And that’s it. I hope to start this series as soon as I can while still taking your request. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for following me.

Stay tuned!

ammo121  asked:

Ok if your feeling up to it or want to. How about Older Ace somehow ends up with ten or seven year old Sabo. Like he got a wish or something and his mind automatically went to Sabo or something like that. More feels if he still thinks his Sabo is dead. But what would their interaction be? How would the WB react to this little kid that Ace might have a little cried over?

hello i overthink things and also i’m sorry it took so long and listen, okay, I’m leaning real heavy here on One Piece physics so if it doesn’t seem possible just–idk, sorry

“Hey, you okay?” Ace asks, hitting his knees and sliding a few inches. “Are you hurt?”

The little kid looks up at him with big teary eyes and sniffs. Then she throws herself directly at Ace’s chest and he catches her on instinct.

“Hey, now, little lady, you’re safe now,” he tells her, scooping her up and standing. She’s so tiny, and so light. Probably not even ten yet, and her dress is torn and dirty. He runs his free hand down her tiny back and keeps babbling. “Hey, miss, it’s over now. Don’t you worry ‘bout anything, okay? I gotcha.”

He heads back up to the deck, keeping an eye out. The Whitebeards do good work, though, and all the enemies are down. Luckily the girl keeps her head tucked into his shoulder, and he’ll take snot and tears over her seeing the carnage any day.

When they hit the deck, Vista looks up and sees Ace and the girl and blanches. “Nope,” he says, and backs away. “Nope, no, that’s on you.” And he flees, because he’s a coward who is scared of children.

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anonymous asked:

Hii Bonney how are you? I just wanted to know when you are going to upload Gruvia Game Of Thrones, i'm really looking forward to it xxx

Hello, Anon! I’m fine, thanks for asking! I hope you are doing okay too!

Well, regarding your question, I’ve already wrote 6k of the story, but I think it will need to have 2 parts, maybe. I took a time from writing it to write the drabbles I’ve been publishing, the new Love in The Ice and 1k of the new Guns ‘N Buttercups (still have a long way to go before it’s ready) but I’m binge watching it again soon to get more inspiration. And maybe reading some Jonerys fanfiction HAHA.

  • Fredbear: I have only 3 needs.
  • Midnight: Oh yea?
  • Fredbear: Yea. Napping, tea and cuddles.
  • Midnight: You really are one of those cozy people.
  • Fredbear: Ech... Do you think I have one day so much fluff like Nightmare? Because if so I might change my name to Fluff-Bomb.
  • Midnight: You forgot your medicine.
  • Fredbear: Oh yea, I did. And boi do I not regret this.
  • ---
  • Midnight: Fredbear, it's late. Why are you still on your phone?
  • Fredbear: I'm looking at the fanart people did of me and I am scared of myself.
  • Midnight:
  • Fredbear: Am I scary?
  • Midnight: Eee sometimes?
  • Fredbear: Damn.
  • ---
  • Fredbear: *cuddles into bed*
  • Fredbear: Aw yes~
  • Fredbear: Hmhmhm~ babe I missed you.
  • Midnight: ???
  • Fredbear: *gives the bed a smooch* I love you babe.
  • Midnight: I... Okay...?
  • ---
  • Fredbear: *yawns but makes a long pulled squeak by it*
  • Midnight: *snorts*
  • Fredbear: What? Huh?? Midi???

Okay but are you a Hamilton person or an Usnavi person? Non-Stop or 96000? 21 Chump Street or Freestyle Love Supreme? Long haired Lin or short haired Lin? “Whaaaaaat?” or “No Me Diga?!”

Okay, so like how when sheep/kids baaa at you and you baaa back and they all baaa again?? How would aliens react is if a human on their mission started making the creatures noise back at them until they all doing it.


The mission was fairly simple in Grutona’s mind: follow the tracks of certain creatures and use environmental clues to discern aspects of the creature’s lifestyle and needs. The group had been following the large, octagonal shaped prints of a swutonaton for the past several standard hours, and up to this point, they still hadn’t actually encountered the beast.

Good. Grutona was not keen on being eaten alive today, which would surely be the result of disturbing the beast. Protocol on the mission was to leave should contact be breached with any species that was not fully documented.

However, there was one member of the team that made Grutona worry. Maria seemed to take things like Protocol as more of a… guideline. Already today Maria had disregarded rules about eating wild tree fruit claiming “they have these on my planet, don’t worry!” Grutona did worry. Especially when Maria added: “Besides, they’re delicious.” Grutona knew what type of treefruit Maria was eating, and xhe was skeptical of the claim. These deadly fruits humans called “lemons” were HIGHLY acidic and sour. On xer home world, a fruit like that would be used by deadly criminals as a poison.

Needless to say, having a human on the crew had been an eye-opening, mind-boggling experience. Grutona was learning more about universal cultures on this mission than ever before, that was for certain.

It was a few more minutes of walking along the path, Grutona taking note of the way the plant life was smashed down to the side of the path of the tracks as if the swutonaton had stopped for a time and rested.

“Ah, so it appears swutonaton are a restful breed, and likely a predator species as evident by their choice location being one leaving them so vulnerable.” Kerip, another member of the team, said this clinically, xis eyes dilating further as his species was wont to do in order to get a magnified look at things. As he was examining he spoke to his partner, Bepin who recorded xis observations on a datapad.

There was a noise further down the trail, strangely like a yawn. Grutona looked over cautiously. Maria was gone. Grutona frowned and made toward the sound hoping it was just Maria doing some sort of human thing xhe was unfamiliar with and not the beast hiding in the plant life beyond planning an attack on the mission crew.

But when had luck ever been on Grutona’s side?

As xhe rounded the bend in the trail xhe was met with the horrifying sight. Xhe would have screamed if it were a characteristic of xer race. Instead, xhe stood there in shock.

Maria stood in front of the creature they were tracking all right. The only thing was, the team was entirely wrong about what they thought they were following here. They had assumed the animal was very large, at least nine or ten times the actual size of the creatures in front of them now. And creatures they were. There were at least fifteen of these creatures and they were all piled atop one another, drooling heavily, spiked tails and trunks laying anywhere. 

“I’d definitely call this a dog-pile.” Maria chuckled, completely unconcerned at the reality that basically everything they had assumed about these creatures was wrong. Maria turned to look at Grutona, eyes gleaming in mischief. “Guess we were wrong about the elephant-sized animal with forty pig-sized feet, huh?” Grutona said nothing, still reeling. They needed to leave, Protocol demanded it, and they needed to go soon before more of the creatures woke up as one was doing now.

“Hey, look! They’re starting to wake up! They’re so cute!” Maria took another step closer to them, making cooing noises as Grutona watched in horror as more of the swutonatons started to rouse. Footsteps behind xer alerted xer to the rest of the team arriving to the scene finally. 

There was a moment of stunned silence before an exasperated sound came from Bepin and Kerip started mumbling in astonishments about all the things they had wrongly ascertained. 

“We should leave,” a voice of reason finally called from the back of the group: Teriwald, the ranked officer from the ship who had been tasked with “protecting the scientists” on the expedition.

Grutona found xer voice again, finally. “You’re–”

There was a sudden, loud sound from the pile of creatures “Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrm.”

“Okay, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” Maria was watching the herd of swutonaton with complete adoration in her gaze. Grutona had been warned to be wary of humans when they assumed a look like this one. There was no telling what kind of things they might do next. 

Whatever Grutona had expected, it was not what Maria did next. Maybe xhe thought she would have started running in circles around the group or walk over and touch one, but xhe certainly did not predict that  Maria would raise her arms in imitation of a swutonaton trunk and repeat the noise back at them in perfect imitation. “Meeeeeeeerrrrrm!”

“What are you doing, we need to go!” Teriwald reminded in an increasingly demanding tone. 

“Calm down, Waldo, we’re fi–” Maria was cut off by several cries of the swutonaton calling back at her.


“Oh, this is too good!” More of the swutonaton had stirred now, and they were climbing off of each other and standing in a herd before Maria who laughed and made the noise again. 


“MEEEEEEEEERRRRRM!!!” The entire herd of seventeen (Grutona had counted in xer moments of horror earlier) swutonaton were now calling back at Maria’s prompting. 

Nobody on the team said anything as they all watched in rapt attention Maria and the herd of swutonaton yell at each other for the next ten standard minutes. 

Humans, Grutona concluded, still half horrified, are weird.


YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:


IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.


Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.




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Dean can be a stubborn jerk sometimes.

Sam has been growing up with that since he’s able to remember and though his mighty weapon, the powerful puppy dog look, proved to be successful occasionally, Dean’s an insistent pighead more often than not. It’s a beloved Winchester trait he liked to nurse for a very long time.

But, thankfully, somewhere along the way Castiel showed up and turned Dean into a compliant puddle of goo almost instantly.

Because his dear big brother is obviously incapable of saying no to those big, blue angel eyes.

A very helpful turn of events, that’s for sure.

So when Sam finds himself in need of an agreeable Dean, he just goes straight to Castiel.

“Cas, I need your help,” he says one day. “I have a favor to ask of Dean and, well …”

“I see.” Castiel grabs a cup of coffee and studies Sam intently. “How can I be of assistance?”

Sam smiles relieved. Castiel’s easy acceptance is always something to cherish. “Well, it’s kinda big, I’ve gotta confess –”

Castiel nods like he totally understands. “You want a dog.”

Sam blinks a few times, staring at the angel. “Uh …”

Actually he just wanted to borrow the Impala for about a week (or maybe a bit longer) to visit some libraries high up north, but this … this is way too important to simply wave it off. “Why … why would you think that?”

Castiel tilts his head. “Because of the way you always look at dog owners playing with their pets in the park. It’s the same face Dean makes when he’s seeing a pie he can’t have.”

Sam ducks his head. He’s apparently been way to obvious if even an angel still learning human mannerisms is able to call him out.

“Well, yeah …” he mumbles.

Castiel straightens his back. “I will talk to Dean.”

Sam casts him an incredulous look. “You … you seriously think you could get me a dog?”

“Of course,” Castiel states simply, sipping his coffee and looking freaking confident.

Sam snorts at that. “Sorry, man,” he counters. “But even you can’t bring Dean to get us a dog!”

Castiel raises an eyebrow, the “Is that a challenge?” clear as day.

“Okay, fine,” Sam concedes, chuckling. “Show me what you got! Perform a fucking miracle!”

Castiel takes a last gulp and then marches out of the room like a man on a mission, calling Dean’s name.

And just five minutes later Dean drops onto the chair across from Sam, looking a bit rumpled and dazed, before eventually clearing his throat in a very melodramatic fashion. “Okay, bitch, listen up!” he announces in his bossy you’re-not-allowed-to-contradict-me voice. “There are a lot of things to discuss before we’re getting that stupid dog, you hear me?”

And while Dean keeps talking about rules and restrictions, Sam can’t do anything else than gape at Castiel who is standing just behind Dean, smirking and mouthing “You’re welcome!”.


bakery au (oldie but a goodie)

Part 1

“He hates me,” Bitty moaned, flopping on his couch. Holster was raiding his kitchen, listening to his rant about Jack Zimmermann.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong! Maybe it was because I told him that he played a hard game last night the first time he came into the bakery? All he does is glare at me and say stuff like ‘Eric, the coffee is too sweet,’ or ‘Eric, you need more protein.’”

“Brah, maybe Zimmermann just has a total resting bitch face,” said Holster as he pulled out a leftover pie from Bitty’s fridge. “Guy seems fucking intense. At least he’s good for business.”

“He keeps on glaring at me! And he comes in, like, three times a week. Orders a coffee and just drinks it in his corner, ignores my attempts at conversation even though, mind you, he has already said some pretty rude stuff!”

“The guy’s a celebrity, he probably has his head so far in his ass and doesn’t care about shit, and also just wants some privacy. Bits, you haven’t been taking pictures of him and posting it on twitter have you?” Holster asked, alarmed.

Bitty gasped, “Adam Birkholtz! I would never!”

“Then just treat him like an antisocial customer, he can’t be the only one going to the bakery who doesn’t want conversation and just wants service and food,” Holster said, dropping down next to Bitty on the couch with two tins of pie.

“I know,” Bitty sighs. “He’s just…so handsome. And he was so nice to Nursey when that fool tripped. And he tips generously. And he’s just so gorgeous, even when he’s glaring at me and speaking in grunts whenever I ask him how his day has been. I just want him to like me!”

Holster navigated the TV to a rerun of Golden Girls and handed Bitty one of the pie tins. “I think that’s your problem. You’re an amazing person, Bits, but maybe you can be a bit too friendly for resting bitch face robozoid Zimmermann. Maybe stop asking him about his day and just let him chill.”

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