Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.
Warning, this chapter contains strong sexual language and is smut. It contains fingering.
I had never really felt something so disguised by love. A feeling that betrays my mind and feeds my body, and in return my heart becomes vulnerable. Lust. I had never really felt it once in my life, up until now. But I still don’t understand it. The very feeling of it, the desire that bubbles up in your stomach, clouds your judgment and erases any of your critical thinking skills.
Oh, how he flooded me with this feeling, the dopamine he released within my brain, the endorphin’s that acted out of pure desire for pleasure, one that he could create and expect for me to return. I had always seen it as a sin, but he makes me see it as an addiction.
Keep Your Comments To Yourself (Star Lord Reader Insert)
Warnings: ya’ll already know by now that this is gon’ be the smuttiest shit you ever laid eyes on like hyfr if my mother saw this she’d probably never be able to look me in the ocular sockets again
Peter refused to stop. The vulgar comments, the improper touching, the suggestive looks, it was driving you completely insane.
The first time it happened, he was co-piloting in the cockpit with Rocket. You strolled in, asking the raccoon if you were almost to your next destination. Jesus, you were in need of some fresh air, for the ship itself felt too confining. Rocket reassured you that you’d all arrive soon, however, it came out more like, “Quit your whining, we’ll get there when we get there.”
Rolling your eyes, you turned on your heel and went to exit. All you wanted was to get away from this cramped vessel, was that too much to ask?
“Hey, stay and sit for a while,” Peter called, stopping you in your tracks. You swiveled around to see his usual shit-eating grin. “I got a special seat for you, right here,” he said, patting his thighs. It totally caught you off guard, for this was the first time he’d ever said anything like this to you. You’d caught him looking at you a couple of times, but he never treated you like the girls he courted at bars. And everyone knew what happened to them.
Having no clue how to react, you just turned and continued on your way, knowing he saw your face flush. You heard him laughing to himself as you made you rapid escape.
But that was only the beginning.
The next day, you had spent about 15 minutes trying to reach a book that had fallen behind your bunk. You were bent over the edge, trying to reach it as best you could. However, your arms were too short and you tried stretching, arching you back to elongate as best you could. The sleek pages just barely brushed against your fingertips and you almost had it until a voice made you nearly jump out of your skin.
“I gotta say, (Y/N), I really like you in this position,” it said, followed by a light smack to your ass. It was Peter. You scoffed at how ridiculous he was and stood up, getting right in his face.
“If you touch me like that again, I will not hesitate to cut off your hands and shove them
up your ass,” you threatened, anger heavy in your tone. His eyes widened for a split second, then he smirked at you.
“Anyone ever tell you how sexy you are when you’re mad?” he asked, leaning into you.
“Couldn’t you be doing something better than running your mouth?”
“Well, there’s a lot of other things I could be doing with my mouth…”
“Ugh, God,” you groaned, disgusted, pushing past him.
A little while later, you were sitting in front of the monitor reading some statistics when something was shoved in your face, blocking your view. Sitting back a little, you recognized it as the exact book you’d dropped behind your bed. Fingers were attached to the spine and your eyes trailed up the arm and saw Peter looking at you with a sly grin as if he’d just done you the biggest favor in the world.
“Thank you,” you muttered. Reaching for the book, he jerked it back close to him. You
got out of chair and went for it again. This time he held it high above your head, his arms longer than yours, which is probably how he got the book in the first place. “Peter, c’mon!”
“Ah ah ah,” he tsked. “You gotta do something for me first.” He tapped his index finger against his lips and puckered them slightly, indicating that he wanted a kiss. You rolled your eyes, but grabbed his leather jacket lapels and tugged him down to your slightly shorter level. You stared deep into his oceanic eyes. The closer you pulled him, and they fluttered closed and the more his body relaxed. Your lips barely brushed against his and he tried moving closer to break the barrier you were putting up, his arms dropping at his sides. That’s when you stole the book out of his grasp and backed away before your lips could actually make full contact.
“Thanks again,” you hollered and walked out of the room leaving Quill dumbstruck.
The next few days were filled with petty remarks. Every little thing you did, Peter had something to say.
“Bet you taste just as sweet,” he’d say as you popped a piece of candy in your mouth, almost choking.
“I could give you a full-body massage, if you’d like,” he offered smugly as you rubbed your shoulders painfully after a mission.
“Your ass looks awesome today,” he muttered in your ear, giving your bottom a slight pinch at the same time.
“You know, if you really want to have some fraction of a chance with me, you might wanna try better compliments.” He nodded and cleared his throat, stepping closer to you.
“Your ass is looking particularly shapely on this fine evening. Better?” You rolled your eyes and walked away.
Another day passed, however, without innuendos. Not a peep from Quill and you thought maybe, just maybe, you could relax. But he wasn’t done with you yet.
“I’m taking a shower,” you’d said nonchalantly, already making your way to the bathroom. Literally no one else thought anything of it, but the moment the words reached his ears, he snickered and sauntered over to you. He cut in between you and the bathroom door, leaning on the frame and consequently blocking your access.
“Mind if I join you?”
“Yes, I actually do,” you replied intently. Once you actually got past him, Quill swiftly corned you against the bathroom wall and pressed himself right up on you. His arms were on either side of you, restricting any form of flee. Then, he inclined to whisper in your ear. You couldn’t deny that your body was getting a little warm as you felt his equally temperatured breath on your, suddenly very sensitive neck.
“C’mon, baby, what’s it gonna take for you to sit on my face?”
“Get out,” you tried saying sternly, but your own voice betrayed you and faltered. Your heart was beating fast and your breath had caught in your throat.
“Oh c’mon, you want me. I know you do. Just think about it; you in my lap, riding me for hours.” You stayed silent, the image actually forming in your mind. Heavy moans engulfing the two of you, your bodies melted into an intense embrace, his strong arms holding you as he’s hitting all the right places. You had to admit, it was desirable.
“What’s wrong, (Y/N)? You’re awfully quiet now,” he began. His sultry tone made heat pool between your legs, slowing dissolving under his dominant demeanor. “I bet I can change that. Bet I can make you scream.” You instinctively licked your lips, your mouth becoming very dry. The area between him and the wall was getting smaller as you felt his lips barely graze against your earlobe, the contact pulling you out from under his spell.
“I said get out!” you shouted this time, regaining your voice. Feeling him smile against
your skin, Peter backed away and leisurely strolled out, knowing he’d gotten to you. The moment the door was closed behind him, you let out and sigh of relief and thanked God that you’d made it out of that one alive.
Another time, you’d just gotten back from a supply run with Drax and were carrying about 3 heavy, paper brown bags in each arm. While he undertook the weight of the hefty cargo with ease, your arms were sore and worn leading you to accidentally drop them. Food and toiletries scattered across the hard floor in all directions. You groaned, but kneeled down anyways and began retrieving the provisions.
“Fuck me,” you cursed yourself.
“I’d love to,” a voice claimed from above. Looking up, your face was at Peter’s crotch exact crotch level and you felt your face heat up. He raised his eyebrows suggestively and, for your benefit, you focused back on cleaning up your mess.
“Shut up.” He kneeled down and looked in your eyes, giving you that cocky grin that let you know he had more to say.
“Make me. I’d sure as hell enjoy it.” You tried to ignore him and finish picking up the items, but he was being childish and only knocked them out of your hands. Your limit was almost near.
“Quill, if you don’t stop, you’re really going to regret it,” you said in a warning tone. He laughed, only fueling your anger more.
“What are you gonna do? Spank me?” he tested. Your eyes shot daggers at him for making such an indecent implication. Crawling across the floor to get the other stuff, you ignored him as best you could. “Or,” he paused, feeling his wandering eyes bore into your ass, “would you rather me spank you?”
“I would rather you leave me alone,” you mimicked his tone. Waiting for another snide response, you whipped your head around and saw Peter was nowhere in sight. Shaking your head, you put the last of the items back into their bags and went to your bunk only to find him lying on your bed. It took about 20 minutes and hundreds of threats for him to leave.
It wasn’t that you found Quill unattractive, quite the opposite really. Of course you thought about him in a sexual way, who wouldn’t? He was damn fine. But he was your friend, that’s it. You prided yourself on not “succumbing to his pelvic sorcery”, as Gamora would say, no matter how hard it was. You’d rather fall down a flight of stairs than be part of his collection of one-night mistresses. Still, Peter seemed hell bent on making this difficult for you and it was gradually becoming so.
Two nights later, you all gathered around for an unusual family-like dinner and he, as expected, scooted his chair a little too closely to you. Rolling your eyes for what seemed like the millionth time, you continued on listening to Rocket and Drax debate fiercely on which knife was better for murdering people. Not the loveliest conversation to have while eating a meal, but you get used to discussions like this when you live with people like this 24/7. Although, your ears automatically drowned out everything else when something warm landed high on your upper thigh.
You glanced down to see none other than Quill’s hand locked on your leg, his thumb rubbing tiny circles in your leg. Trying to pull away, his hand actually kept you in place. His four other fingers dipped further between your thighs and you squeezed them together as to tell him to stop. He let his hand rest there for a little bit and you relaxed a little, for at least he was done for now.
“To be honest, I think a steel blade would- oh!” you gasped, but quickly disguised it with a cough. Peter’s hand had now reached your core and you felt the heat of it through your pants. He began massaging slowly, adding a small amount of pressure to your lower stomach. You cleared your throat and thought about speaking once more, but you knew only provocative noises would escape and kept your mouth shut. He pressed a little harder and caused you to hum, keeping his movements to a minimum so no one would notice him. By the way, how was no one seeing this?!
“Are you feeling alright? Your face is quite pink,” Drax commented, completely oblivious to what was really going on. Peter smirked and looked at you.
“Yeah, (Y/N), are you okay?” he asked innocently, obviously trying to hide a smile. You scowled at him, boiling over with rage.
“I’m fine. I just don’t feel well,” you gritted through your teeth. Everyone else just shrugged and continued on with the conversation without you. Digging your nails into his forearm, he winced a little but kept his dirty paw in place. You just prayed everyone would finish eating soon so you could leave without making an awkward exit. That’s when Peter sneakily popped open the button of your pants. You looked at him, begging him with your eyes to stop to which he just ignored your pleas and placed his hand back on your thigh. Inhaling slowly, you kept as calm as you could for the sake of not embarrassing yourself in front of the others. However, you stopped caring when he tried slipping his hand down your pants. His fingertips made it right under the waistband of your underwear when you pulled down your shirt and shot out of your seat. Everyone was caught off guard at your rapid actions.
“I feel sick, I’m gonna go lie down,” you announced, your voice a lot louder than you anticipated. You didn’t look at Peter’s face before you left, but you knew he was grinning to himself.
While they finished dinner, you decided to take a shower. Luckily, you made it back to your bunk without any sight of Quill. You tried reading your book once more but your moment of peace was quickly disturbed by a presence once more. Assuming it was him, you instantly snapped.
“WHAT?!” It was actually Rocket, holding his hands up in defense as if you were holding a gun to his face. “Sorry, I thought you were Quill.”
“Yeah,” he said hesitantly, “anyways, we’re going out. Do you wanna come or are you still feeling sick?” They way he said ‘sick’ implied that he didn’t believe it for a second.
“I’m gonna stay back, but thanks.”
“Mhmm,” he hummed knowingly. A little while later, Peter knocked on the frame of your door.
“I came to check on you,” he said casually. You ignored him, still mad at him for the whole dinner fiasco. “Seemed a little flustered back there, (Y/N).”
“Leave me alone,” you ordered, getting up and striding for the door. He trapped you again, pushing you against the wall before you could even make it to the actual door itself. Each of his palms were on the other side of your shoulders and he was a little too close to you, invading your personal space once again. You crossed your arms and looked at anywhere other than his eyes. You knew you’d get out of this, some way or another, so might as well just let him play his little game.
“Look me in the eyes and tell me that you absolutely, positively do not want this,” he demanded. While you were able to follow the first set of directions, the words wouldn’t leave your mouth as if they were physically stuck in the back of your throat. God, you couldn’t deny that deep down you did get some form of pleasure from the looks he gave you and the dirty comments that rolled so easily off his tongue. His tongue. Dear Lord, this wasn’t going to end well. “I’m waiting…”
You still didn’t say anything and that’s when the corner of his mouth turned up in a sly smile. Peter chuckled darkly and you turned your head away from him, mortified with yourself. In reply, however, you felt his lips on your neck. An unexpected moan escaped your lips and he used his knee to open your legs a little. His teeth sunk into your neck and you clasped your arms around him. It hurt for a quick moment before he ran his tongue over the bite, soothing the pain. Quill’s hand moved to your waist, rubbing tiny circles with his finger into your hipbone. He kissed all the way down you jaw and cheek to your mouth to pull you into a searing kiss. It completely took your breath away and only added to the dampness between your legs. He pulled away and looked you in the eyes.
“I need to hear you say you want this,” he said, his voice in a much lighter tone than before. Even the lust in his eyes were replaced with something softer. And then it hit you; no matter how much of a pig he was, he still cared.
“Peter, I want this.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to feel like-”
“You talk way too much for your own good,” you silenced him. There was a sudden grab to your ass, causing you to gasp. Peter took this opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. It entangled with your own in a dance for dominance to which he rapidly took the lead.
Undoing your pants for the second time tonight, Peter’s hand glided into your soaked panties. He laughed to himself when he felt how turned on you were. He ran his fingers back and forth against your slick folds then massage your clit. The sensation made your knees weak and your mind clouded. You broke the kiss, throwing your head back against the wall. It was just the kind of friction you were desperate for.
“My my my, (Y/N), who are you so wet for?” Peter asked purely. You moaned at the sound of his voice and he suddenly stopped, but kept his hand in place. “I asked you a question.”
“You,” you whimpered softly, your eyes screwing shut.
“Mmm, that’s right.” He removed his hand and you whimpered at the loss of contact, but he made up for it with another kiss. Peter had the upper hand in this situation and was now directing you away from the wall and to your bed. During your wobbly dance back to the bed, both of your shirts were lazily tossed onto the floor. You reveled in his amazing physique as he cupped your breasts.
He was the first to make it to the bed and lied down, breaking away from you for a split second only to quickly pull you on top of him. The two of you groaned simultaneously as you sat on his stiff groin. You leaned down against his firm torso and kissed his neck, dishing out the same treatment you received earlier. Sucking on the skin right where his pulse was, he sighed. You smiled against him and repeated the action, getting the same reaction from before. One of his hands was resting on your bottom as the other one trailed up the curve of your back to snap your bra open. The garment was tossed onto the messy pile on the floor and he flipped you position so that now you felt the light pressure of the mattress against your back.
Peter laid kisses and bites down your body, stopping momentarily to ravage your breasts pleasantly, and eventually ripped your pants off for good. His lips traced circles on your hip bone that caused goosebumps to erupt all over your skin.Then he forcibly spread your legs, fingers digging into your thighs hungrily. Your heart rate picked up in anticipation for what was about to happen. He nipped and licked at your inner thighs, watching your face though his dark and lustful eyes. He sucked on the tender skin, leaving dark marks in his wake. You exhaled content sighs yet inhaled sharply when he flicked his tongue against your wetness a single time. It was just enough to make you moan, but not enough to feed your insatiable hunger.
“Tell me how bad you want me to eat your pussy,” he ordered.
“God, Peter, I want you to eat my pussy so badly right now,” you practically begged, “Please.”
He chuckled darkly and went to work. He licked patterns and sucked on just the right areas. His tongue as perfect against your aching core and he had to hold your hips down roughly to keep your from wiggling too much. You tugged at his hair, your fingers intertwined with his short locks. When he focused on your clit, your back arched off the sheets. He pumped in two fingers and it was too much pressure to handle at once. The familiar tightening of your lower stomach let you know you were almost there.
“Peter, I’m gonna-“
“Nope, not yet.” He detached himself from you completely and crawled up your body to lay wet, sloppy kisses on your collarbone and neck. You had one hand still tangled in his hair and the other latched onto his shoulder.
“You’re horrible,” you panted, trying to get your breathing back to normal.
“You love me,” he said between kisses along your jaw. You grinned and laughed a little as his facial hair tickled against your skin.
Peter got up and sat on his knees, undoing his pants. You watched carefully, biting your lips as his fingers did the intricate work. Soon, his pants and underwear were gone and you stared at his package, desperately hungry for his thick cock.
Eagerly, you spread your legs for him and ignored his arrogant smirk. Quill kissed your knee as he moved up your body, sliding himself into your innermost parts. You let out a soft cry and a more animistic rumble erupted from his chest.
His thrust were agonizingly slow at first, forcing you to beg him to fuck you.
“You want me to fuck you like this?” his voice as pure as a little boy in Sunday School. His hips moved even slower than before and you couldn’t take it.
“No,” you whined breathily. “Fuck me fast and fuck me hard.”
Then he slammed into and you gasped at the wonderful roughness. Over and over again, until that coil within you twisted tighter and tighter, that special spot being repeatedly hit with each stroke.
“I wanna hear you say my name,” Peter growled into the crook of your neck. You did so, moaning his name loud enough for it to echo through the ship as you came.
It was dizzying, your mind almost disconnecting from your body for a moment. A warmth flooded through your veins as he came too, grunting a cuss through his teeth.
Peter landed on the bed next to you, chest rising and falling slowly. Your legs felt like jelly and your ran your fingers through your hair, knowing it was a mess. After a minute or so of quietness, you felt your body being pulled.
“Get over here,” Quill demanded playfully, moving you into the encasing of his arms.
“Who knew ladies’ man, Peter Quill, was a ‘cuddler’? I would’ve pegged you more of a hit-and-run kind of guy,” you teased, letting your own arm rest on his chest.
“Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper whilst brushing his lips against the shell of your ear. “Lucky for you, I only cuddle the ones I like.”
Let’s talk about the evolution of Percy Jackson throughout the PJO series
He starts off as a confused, lost, awkward 12 year old who had been to a completely different school each year and never felt like he fit in. He’s witty, angsty, sarcastic, and bitter. His looks are average, he has a lack of self-esteem, and doesn’t seem to care about much. He lives with an abusive step-father, and him and his mom have barely anything to get on.
Slowly, as he learns he’s a demigod, he begins to realize that Camp Half-Blood, the place he discovers, might just be his home. He starts to go on quests and actually succeeds, which is something he had never thought he could do. Percy tries to save the world because he finally feels like there’s a purpose to his life. He had felt angry and betrayed by his father, but now acknowledges what Poseidon has done for him, and actually respects him.
Then comes Thalia Grace, who begins to make him question his confidence. He starts to think: Am I really that great? Couldn’t anybody do my quests just as I did? She makes him doubt himself, because deep down he secretly wants to be the boy from the prophecy. He finally feels like there is a reason for him to work hard in life. But Thalia makes him feel threatened, hence the ever-important fight between them.
By the end, they reconcile and learn from each other’s mistakes, which in turn strengthens Percy’s confidence. As the prophecy nears, Percy fights and trains more than he had ever before, and now is seen as a leader. Someone the demigods can count on. Someone they look up to. He takes a risk by jumping into the River Styx, but he does it for his camp, his friends, his f a m i l y. Never would past Percy do something like this. But this Percy does, because he legitimately cares. Later, he storms through rows of monsters, slashes through countless enemies, and hurries from one group of campers to another in order to save his city.
Think about what he had said in the Last Olympian: “‘What did they do?’ My voice sounded tight and angry. ‘What did they do to my city?’”.His city. The city he’s been living in his whole life, the one that he never really thought much about in the past. But now, it’s his city. And right then and there we can tell that he will do anything to protect those who call it their home.
Percy Jackson learns to become a role model for the demigods who are scared out of their minds, because to them, Kronos is a nightmare. They don’t have self-hope, they have no idea what will happen to them. But Percy gives them that hope. He inspires them to fight as hard and strong as they possibly can in order to save their camp. He treats them as strong warriors, and he believes in them. More importantly, he believes in himself.
When confronted by Kronos in the Battle of the Labyrinth, he had had no confidence at all. In fact, he ran. He ran. But in the Last Olympian, there was no running. The only thing he would do is walk straight forward. Because he was tired of countless enemies tormenting him and his friends. He was exhausted, and wanted to put a stop to it. It was difficult seeing Luke, someone he had thought of as a friend, standing in front of him as his greatest enemy. And in that moment, he makes a choice. The choice of leaving the responsibility on Luke, and trusting that he would make the right decision. This was something only a leader could do, and a leader is what Percy had become.
Gone was the lost, scared, confused, and awkward little boy. Gone was the boy who had little self-confidence, who gave into taking a potion that would change his appearance, simply because that was what he had thought mattered. Gone was the boy who felt constantly bitter, who was antagonized and targeted by his ADHD and dyslexia, who lived each day knowing that by the end of the school year, he would surely be expelled, and his mom would have to send him to another one.
The older Percy, the one that saved Olympus, saved the world, is so much different. He manages to last two years (and counting) at Goode High School, something he had never thought he could do. He embraces his flaws because he knows it makes him stronger. He learns to accept his ADHD and dyslexia because it in fact makes him a more powerful demigod. He leads the Camp Half-Blood campers into battle and helps them gain their own confidence. He has friends who truly care about him and would sacrifice themselves for him, just as he would. He gains much more knowledge and experience about his abilities and realizes that they make him special.
Perseus Jackson has had the smoothest, and most perfect evolution throughout the series.
Since I have received a request, here is the full translation for the new fans book.
Disclaimer 1: Based on my observation in Japan, if you like Eruri, I think the interview should be good enough, but if you ship Erwin heavily, you may be disappointed by Isayama’s views of life and death or his interpretation to Erwin’s death.(Tbh, I generally share the same view as Isayama thus I am mutual to what he said)
Disclaimer 2: Better read the book together with Answers, otherwise, you won’t have a full picture.
Disclaimer 3: I tried my best to translated fully based on the printed words without bias. For points which I think needs clarification I have put it as Note, I put it in the bottom so that the comment won’t influenced your own interpretation when you are reading.
1) Interview (IN): Erwin lost his life in Shiganshina Battle, that was a really shocking incident.
Isayama (IS): It was planned to let Erwin dead there from the beginning. I always wants to write Levi and Erwin as a mutual and equal relationship (対等な関係). Erwin joint the SC because of his innocent curiosity to know the “truth” and also his atonement for letting his father died. And gradually he became the leader of SC and he starts to get tripped between “a small child who is chasing his dream” and “a responsible adult”. In order to convince himself, Erwin has used “fighting for humanity” as an excuse to cheat himself. (Note 1)
2) IN: A man who can sacrifice his humanity can’t give up his dream, it was really a surprise.
IS: That’s also what Levi felt. Levi stayed with Erwin till now because he interpretates Erwin’s slogan “Fight for Humanity’s Future” as a very selfless (利他的) aim which he will never think of and he makes this target as his life mission. (Note 2). That’s why Levi also demanded Erwin to be a man who is “loyal to his mission” and “can make cruel decisions”. When Levi realized that Erwin also has a selfish (利己的) side for his dream, he has a feeling that he has been betrayed. But, at the same time, he also felt that a man who he thinks he can never defeat also has “a side like an innocent boy”. (Note 3)
3) IN: Levi told Erwin to “Go to die” after he realized that this great man (偉大な男) is also a human like him. What a cruel decision……………..
IS: I started recall what I thought at that time. I think people reveal their truest self at the time when they have been pushed to the corner and need to face death. For Erwin, Shiganshina Battle is the place where he reveals his true self. What he reveals was a man waving between “his dream to go to the basement” and “his responsibility to fight against beast titan until the last minute”. Looking at Erwin, Levi felt that Erwin wants Levi to say “Give up your dream and go to die”. He caught what Erwin wants. With Levi’s word, Erwin was transformed to an adult who can give up his dream to fulfill his responsibility for the future.
4) IN: What Erwin recall in the last minute was his days with his father in the classroom which is also the beginning of his dream. Is that memory a happy memory to Erwin?
IS: No one knows. Erwin died before he know the answer. May be Erwin has chosen to left the answer behind unanswered forever. But you can’t say he has completely no regrets or maybe he really has. I was drawing that that time thinking that “all people are enslaved to sth” and for Erwin, it was his dream. As long as Erwin is alive, he will never get over his dream and the only way to set him free is death only. Levi giving up the chance to save Erwin for him (Note 4) and released Erwin from being a slave to his dream.
5) IN: So Levi understood Erwin’s feeling (思い)………….
IS: Yes. At that scene to choose between Erwin life and death, Levi was also influenced by his experience with Kenny. When Kenny left him during his childhood, he always thought that “Kenny left because Levi failed to meet Kenny’s expectation”. That’s why when he met Kenny again during the revolution, he wanted to fulfill his childhood’s feeling (Note 5). But at the very end, when Kenny get heavily injured during the collapses, Kenny was not using the injection for himself but give the injection to Levi. From Levi’s point of view, it was a totally selfless act which he never thought a selfish man like Kenny will do. Based on this experience, Levi has chosen not to restore Erwin to life but to treat him as a human and let Erwin go (Note 6).
Oh I also recalled now, some people said it is the best to not fulfill their dreams. It means a life which can chase dream forever may a better life. I drawn Erwin’s death based on this thought.
6) IN: May be dream is dream because you can never touch it and that’s why you can chase it forever. But because of this decision, Levi has lost Erwin, who is someone irreplaceable (かけがえのない存在) to him. So where will he look for his future fighting motivation?
IS: Yes, he is like a balloon dangling in the air (宙ぶらりん) (Note 7). Because to Levi, stayed with Erwin until Erwin’s last minute gave Levi a feeling that he has accomplished everything he needs to. Of course Levi still wants to kill the Beast Titan, for the hole in organization (Note 8) left by Erwin, Levi will look at Armin to fill it up maybe? Since the scene in Snk Vol 18 when they are searching for Reiner inside the wall, I intentionally portrayed Erwin and Armin as the “past” and the “future”. Erwin died without fulfilling his dream. Armin fulfilled his dream and now Armin can only look at the reality.
Note 1: : Be aware Erwin is only cheating himself not other here
Note 2: The phrase is written in a way that Levi is not really interest in saving the humanity, but more he is impressed by the selflessness in Erwin’s slogan
Note 3: Together with Answer => At the beginning, Levi felt “it was different from what Erwin told me before” and a sense of lost [喪失感, a feeling you feel when you lost sth dear to you], but it does not mean he felt distrusted to Erwin, later he starts give in and think “I will help you anyway (しょうがないから協力してやる)”
Note 4: “諦めて[くれた]” have a nuance that Levi is giving up for other (Erwin)
Note 5: I think it means to fight Kenny at full force to meet Kenny’s expectation
Note 6: I have a feeling that Levi was not treating Erwin as a human but a god like figure before he knew Erwin’s dream ;). Anyway, I think Isayama wants to emphasis that Levi’s choice is completely selfless (利他的), completely made for Erwin’s sake not himself i.e. selfish (利己的).
Note 7: I think what Isayama wants to say is Levi is unstable and lost or sth like that.
宙ぶらりん is a word saying you are tripped in the middle and dun know where to go.
Note 8: As mentioned before, Isayama specified that it only refers to the hole in organization (組織的な穴). I interpreted the nuance as there is hole other than organization i.e. mental or whatsoever :)
Summary: You are now a Pre-K teacher and you meet Jaebum, a single dad. Will you date him or will you go back to your ex from high school?
Genre: Romance, teacher, single dad
Warnings: smut in later chapters, swearing
Definition of Pre-K: teacher for children at the age of 4
Authors Note: This is my first fanfic and I am not really sure what everyone will think of it but please give me some feedback! Oh and I hate when fanfics don’t have a slight twist to them so don’t think I’ll keep you bored! I want some action and suspense here :)
You walked out of your last exam feeling excited because you finally finished your senior year of high school. All that was left was graduation day! You were excited for this upcoming summer because you finally had a car, a job, and more time with your boyfriend, Yugyeom. You were also excited because college would start in August, which meant a new chapter in your life.
You had been working hard during the semester to maintain your rank as number 1 in the class. After your hard work, you finally became valedictorian, and you would be giving a speech to your fellow classmates on graduation day. You were ready for a nice and refreshing summer.
at any given moment I am thinking about the fact that krycek still had to be mulder’s partner for a while before he betrayed him, like how many unsubstantiated cryptid and ufo cases did that boy get dragged along for??
During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing
business card and figure, what the hell. The business arrangement
becomes…mutually beneficial. Y’all know where this is going.
S4 Meta: Jasper’s Pranks and What He Means By Them
I got inspired to write this meta by a youtube comment on a clip of Jasper and Bellamy forest talk in ‘God Complex’. The comment was - “I think that Jasper is actually trying to be nice to Bellamy”. Which made me laugh because it’s actually true. I think that Jasper has been trying to be nice to people through most of S4, but because this comes through the filter of his drunken obnoxious madness, nobody is really getting it. Not the other characters or most of the viewers. And that’s really tragic. What’s more, I think Jasper’s trying to be especially nice to the people he has felt the most hurt by. I think this is part of Jasper’s process for letting go. Just as Jasper urges Bellamy not to waste his last ten days on his self-recrimination, Jasper also doesn’t want to waste his time on his negative emotions. I think Jasper’s pranks are his form of purging. He is trying to turn resentment into something positive. He’s trying to be nice.
Prank One: Floating Jaha
Like all members of the 100, Jasper resents Jaha for sending them to die on the ground. All the hell they have gone through since they set foot on Earth is a hell that Jaha dropped them into. What’s more, the 100 were all waiting in cells to be floated on their 18th birthdays. Many had seen family and friends floated before their imprisonment. So with the mattress on the lake, Jasper gives Jaha a funny mock execution as a very public prank. Not only can Jasper laugh at Jaha, but anyone else who suffered under his merciless Arker laws can laugh too. Jaha’s executions were a serious matter, but hating Jaha for them won’t bring anyone back. Jasper’s prank renders Jaha powerless and makes him human again. It means a few days later Jasper can offer Jaha a drink and try to cheer him up with Dr Seuss poems. It means Jasper can be nice.
Prank Two: Scaring Monty
This one is the toughest to explain because it’s obvious to any sane observer Jasper’s acid rain prank is very cruel. And sick and wrong. But to the less than sane Jasper, it’s meant to be a joke. I feel that this prank is deliberately aimed at Monty, the only one who tries to run out to save Jasper. Now Monty is actually the person Jasper cares about most. Monty is the one Jasper addressed his suicide note to and Monty is the one who Jasper is upset about being deemed expendable by Clarke’s list. So why is his prank on Monty the darkest? I think it’s because Monty is the person Jasper felt most hurt by. Because it hurts worse to feel betrayed by your best friend, your brother. Jasper mock dying of radiation poisoning in front of Monty after Jasper had to watch someone he loved really die of radiation poisoning is to purge the resentment he feels towards Monty for Maya’s death. With the acid rain prank Jasper is giving Monty a taste of that same pain. But he knows he can’t waste anymore time resenting Monty. It won’t bring Maya back. And sure enough after Jasper has had his mean little joke at Monty’s expense, they’re right back to being best friends and Jasper has talked Monty into playing pranks with him like old times.
Prank Three: Foaming Clarke
I think fans overestimate how much Jasper resents Clarke. His prank on Clarke has nothing to do with Mount Weather or Maya. As Jasper said way back at the Dropship scene with Monty, he understands why Clarke did it. He understands that Clarke has no chill when it comes to survivalism. What Jasper resents are all the “pointless tasks” Clarke roped him into in the name of survival. His prank on Clarke is simple - Jasper just wants her to chill out. As he snarks to Monty, getting Clarke to chill would be doing her a favor. I think Jasper even feels sorry for Clarke’s total inability to have fun. Of course, the foam prank goes array as Jasper discovers the list just before it and is consequently given a new reason to resent Clarke. But after the list leaks out and Jasper has his own time to chill in the brig, not only does he let go of his anger at Clarke, but he offers her advice on how not to make everyone else mad at her too. Again, Jasper’s trying to be nice. His final line to Clarke is heartbreaking - “Some day when all this is over you’re going to realize that foam bit was funny”. To me, what Jasper is saying here is that after the radiation has passed, he expects Clarke will have survived while he will be dead and that he just wants for Clarke to remember him as the boy who squirted foam in her face and smile.
Prank Four: Hijacking Bellamy
Jasper roping Bellamy into a pointless task of his own isn’t part of the Jasper prank season but it serves the same function. I’m sure Jasper has heard about Bellamy almost getting himself killed trying to save a delinquent and his dad lost in the woods during the acid rain. Jasper teases Bellamy’s desperate need to save everyone, the surviving 100 especially, by waltzing into the forest knowing Bellamy will have to chase after him and protect him. Jasper knows Bellamy is wallowing in self-loathing for the crappy things he’s done and all the people he’s failed to save. Jasper knows this because he’s wallowed for the same reason. And Jasper doesn’t really forgive Bellamy for his failings, anymore than Jasper forgives Clarke or Monty, or anymore than he forgives himself. He just knows that resentment and recrimination are pointless at the end of the world. It won’t bring anyone back. It doesn’t matter anymore. The clock is ticking and Jasper just wants his friend to be happy again. Embracing Bellamy’s old “Whatever the hell we want” motto is ironic considering that little S1 Jasper first hugged and started idolizing Bellamy after he’d stopped being their reckless rebel leader. Jasper is the reckless one now and he knows that Bellamy needs to let go. So Jasper does a nice thing by basically abducting Bellamy and forcing him to have a day off from hopelessly trying to save the world.
There was a crushing weight on his chest. On his heart. It kept pushing more and more everyday. It kept hurting him deep inside, and the day after was always worse than the previous one. No one noticed it. His little, tiny human anxiety wasn’t important.
Warning: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Langst, Lance-centric, Angst, Mental Instability, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Insecure Lance, Homesickness, Just the seventh wheel thing, everything you want to cry for, save lance 2k17, Season 2 and 3 spoilers, angst & feels, keith cares, everyone cares, but Keith’s the one here
I’ve been dying in angst with S02 for Lance, and S03 didn’t help. So here we go. Don’t blame me for what you read because you have your own will and decided to click on this fic. Ah, and this is my first Voltron fanfiction! Inspired by this fanart I drew two days ago. As usual, thanking my beta @blueflamebird for correcting my dumb mistakes! Enjoy~ :D
just the fifth wheel. Seventh if you count Allura and Coran.”
am I even doing here?”
been doing some maths…”
looked at the ceiling, lying on his bed. He didn’t turn on the
lights. He didn’t feel like having… luminosity all around him.
Blinding clarity. Darkness was much better. Somehow, he felt at home
was a crushing weight on his chest. On his heart. It kept pushing
more and more everyday. It kept hurting him deep inside, and the day
after was always worse than the previous one.
one noticed it.
he was good with that. He was okay with that, because there was an
entire galaxy to take care of. There were entire planets needing
Voltron to free and save them, to lead to independence and to the end
of the Galra Empire.
“Seriously guys?” This was the last thing that you heard before entering the room with your head down between the crack opened in the wall. “Tipical vampire, always underestimating Shadowhunters.” Isabelle smiled to Raphael while he took a step back, dropping a noise because of his wounded hand by the sunlight.
You hesitated once you couldn’t watch your major love hurting himself, but his look for you seemed to show all his disappointment after seeing you with the traitors Shadowhunters. You were a Shadowhunter, you were friend of Clary and Simon and the most important, Izzy were your parabati. You couldn’t do anything but go with they till Dumort even if you didn’t know that they had already planned take Camille from there. In your mind, you guys were only ask for Raphael’s help and Izzy clearly knew about your feelings a long time ago.
Fell in love with him wasn’t in your plans. You two met during the Simon’s issue and then when Simon became a vampire you were nominated by Raphael as a guardian of the new vampire, since you were the only shadowhunter that he trusts because you didn’t tried to kill him or tell him bad things. He trusted you for entering in his home, the Dumort, for watching Simon because Clary doesn’t trusted to leave her best friend alone in the middle of unknown creatures. You slowly turned into a bargaining chip between shadowhunters and the Raphael’s clan when your family needed something from they, and Raphael always cooperated because of you. Being on the Dumort alone with Raphael resulted in an affair, his predator look became a protector look and the major secret between you two were the kisses that happened when you and Raphael were alone. You fell in love and couldn’t tell it to anyone, and the most excruciating thing was you having almost sure that Raphael was not even a little bit in love with you.
“You betrayed us.“ Raphael was supposed to talk with Izzy but he was looking at you with the corner of his eyes.
“Adios.” She smiled and took a step back to leave the room with Simon, Clary and Camille, and you felt like you were stuck where you were. Raphael even looked at you again when Isabelle grabbed your arm and made you leave.
You couldn’t stay calm before this horrible week. Jace was missing with Valentine, but you and the other shadowhunters managed to wake up Jocelyn with the spells book. The things were so messed up! Everyone was preparing for a war and nobody seemed to care about the loss of the alliance with the vampires. You couldn’t stop to think about this. About the alliance and, most important, Raphael. You felt so bad for him and your feelings were not helping you. Isabelle and Alec knew about everything you were feeling but Alec didn’t let you go to Dumort, even if you were wanting to go there for apologize in name of the Shadowhunters and make things clear about your intentions. Surprisingly, talk about your feelings was out of question.
“You look so sad, (Y/N).” You heard Magnus saying behind you. You turned to him slowly, seeing his careful look. Everyone were on his loft to try to track down Jace but you were feeling so bad with all the things that were happening that you left everyone. “We all know that Jace won’t get hurt easy.”
“I know that Jace won’t get hurt, I know him.” You gave Magnus a smirk, but he still could see your sad eyes. “But I don’t know about people that I hurt” You crossed your arms, looking down.
“It’s about Raphael, isn’t it?” You looked, surprised, to his face again. “Oh, I know him.” He gave you a smirk, imitating what you said before. “I’ve seem you two before, and trust me, I know him more than you imagine.”
“But how do you realized it?” You still looked surprised, because you always were trying to hide any feeling for Raphael.
“I bet that the Camille’s thing didn’t had his authorization.” He raised one eyebrow, putting his hand on your shoulder. “I know you too. Why haven’t you gone to talk with him yet?”
“Alec doesn’t let me go. I think he’s being more overprotective after his parabati is gone and he know that Raphael is not so happy with us. He think that something’s going to happen with me.” You sighed.
“Alec doesn’t understand feelings yet.” Magnus smiled, making blue magic get out of his fingers. He turned and started to move his hands and do magic. You just realized that he was doing a portal and, after he’s finished, he looked at you again. “Go, my dear, I know that Raphael will not do anything with you.”
You didn’t said anything but gave him a grateful look before entering the portal. You whirled in the midst of nothing before end up at the Dumort’s front, staring at the door and not making sure what to do.
“What do you want now, Shadowhunter?” Hear that voice behind you was both reassuring and scary. You turned to see Raphael and his pale face, his lips compressed in a straight line.
“I want to apologize.” You looked certain for him. You don’t want to seem so fragile, so you used your best voice for not to sound sad.
“In the name of the institute?” He raised an eyebrow.
“No, in my name.” You took a step closer to him, and he didn’t seem to do nothing. He was staring at your face with a misterious look.
“You betrayed me.” For the first time he seemed to be affected.
“I can’t lose Jace and you.” You felt a few tears in you eyes, but you did your best to get hold them where they were.
“Why do you think you had me, (Y/N)? You can’t lose what you don’t have.” He sighed after taking a look at the floor. You felt something worst than a punch.
“Have you ever been mine?” You took one more step.
“We met with you pointing a seraphim blade to my face.” He raised his eyebrows while he was talking with his typical ironic tone. “I’m alive for so many years and you think that you’re the first lover to betray me.”
“I didn’t did anything! I don’t knew what to do, Raphael. Valentine is with the cup and can kill all of us, Jocelyn is our only hope, Izzy is my parabati! But I swear you that I didn’t knew that they were going to do things like they did. And you know why I was the only one? Because all of they know that I love you.” You gave up on hold you feelings and said all that you were holding in you chest. You felt an extreme relief while breathing but felt you couldn’t look at Raphael anymore.
“You what?” He looked surprised.
“Forget, vampire” You said before turning back. You walked up to the street to catch a cab and finally be able to isolate yourself on your room, but you felt Raphael strongly grab your arm.
“Is that true?” He was looking deeply at your eyes.
“Everything.” He started to push you for the shadows under the Dumort.
“Do you think I came here at midnight just to lie to you and go away? I’m not that dumb.” You rolled your eyes when he let your arm.
“I was planning to give you that later, but I don’t know what can happen now.” You heard his soft voice while he walked till you back. If he could breath, you could feel his breath on your neck. You felt his cold fingers touch your neck and shuddered with it, before realize that he was putting something around it.
“What are you doing to me?” You almost yelled, afraid that he was doing something bad to you. You heard him laughing and felt a necklace fall on your chest.
“Calm down.” His soft voice made you sigh. “It’s something very special to me, (Y/N).”
“What is it? Why are you giving that to me right now?” You touched the pingent that you couldn’t see because you didn’t have a mirror or something like that.
“It’s the Santiago necklace. It belonged to all the womans of the family and should be buried along with the last Santiago woman.” He was still behind you. “It’s something very important to me, but I don’t feel that it should be with me, this necklace needs to be in his right place till the end.”
“Raphael?” You were surprised. You were more than surprised, you didn’t know what to do after knowing that Raphael was giving to you a family’s necklace. Your fingers touched the little cold pingent on your chest while you turned around to look at Raphael. He looked sad and happy at the same time, giving you a soft smile. “Why me? That’s not supposed to be with your mother? The last Santiago woman?”
“She was not the last. It is with the last now.” He bent down to be able to touch his forehead on yours. “I will not apologize you.” He whispered and you looked at his eyes, afraid. “Because I’m not mad with you. I’ve never been. I just needed to make sure that you love me. Because I do, (Y/N). And I know that I will love you forever. This necklace is the proof, I’m the last Santiago alive and you’re the last woman that a Santiago loved. It needs to be with you.”
You smiled before feeling some tears slip over your face. Raphael was smiling too, his hands stroking your face carefully. You couldn’t believe on whats were going on, so you just closed your eyes.
“I swear you that I will take care of this.” You could hear his soft laugh, opening your eyes again just to stare his black eyes. He approached his face from yours, touching your lips calmly and starting a slow kiss, full of passion and hesitation to let you go. He knew that one day he would have to let you go, but this time with the proof that you were his true love. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” His soft voice ensuring that at least one thing in your life would always be where you would look.
Summary: you head to the only safe place you can think of. A talk with your father gives you the courage to return to work, where Dean finds you immediately. But he’s not expecting your reaction. Charlie and Cas come to the rescue.
Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader
Word Count: 2,900
Warnings: Language, ANGST, general sadness, betrayal…
A/N: Bad to worse, kiddos. Buckle in for some serious angst. Please don’t hate me. I promise I’ll make it up to you…
my tribute to the wonderful and legendary jasper jordan
(Disclaimer: English isn’t my mother tongue, so I already apologize for any mistakes) Jasper Jordan deserves - or rather now - deserved better.
And you might agree - you might be sad about the fact that Jasper died or you might be unaffected - hell, I’ve read enough comments about people wanting Jasper to die, because they thought he’s annoying. Annoying. Fuck - that’s just - actually that’s messed up. But this isn’t about the people that have hated or still hate on Jasper, this tribute is dedicated to this wonderful fictional character I learned to love and appreciate.
We got to know Jasper as this funny, dorky guy in S1 - people loved him for being positive, for being funny, for being naive, but brave at the same time. People loved him in S1, because he was easy to love. Because positive, funny people are easy to love - you seem them smile and they make you smile - and what’s there not to love?
S2 Jasper - yeah, he was inspiring, wasn’t he? He was so fucking brave, he stood up for himself, for his friends in Mount Weather, he took the lead, because Clarke or Bellamy weren’t there - and he was motivating everyone else. S2 Jasper was inspiring people to do something, S2 Jasper was brave and fierce and - and he fell in love with this wonderful girl named Maya - and then everything went downhill from there. Everyone in Mount Weather died, Maya died - and Jasper - Jasper felt so safe in Mount Weather, he felt at peace, safe - ‘till he didn’t.
Because while we got to know Jasper as this funny, dorky guy in S1 - people tend to forget what actually happened to him in S1. This boy is 16 years old and he was kidnapped by grounders and speared - he almost died. His friends died - and there was danger everywhere - but Jasper continued to be strong, continued to be this funny, dorky guy that people easily loved. He almost died again later, when Murphy threatened to kill him - so Jasper was constantly in danger, he was constantly on the edge of death, but people tend to forget that, because in S2 everything seems to be okay with Jasper - right? Because it didn’t affect him at all - and that’s where people are so wrong.
Jasper suffered from PTSD - and this is canon - end of discussion. And his portray of PTSD was so real and raw and it’s actually sad that people only view it as annoying. Jasper didn’t suddenly “get depressed”, because of a girl “he just met”. I’ve read this so so many times and I can’t believe people can misinterpret a character and their storyline so heavily. This 16 year old boy went through so much, daily, they were basically at war - he was on the edge of death - daily - at the age of 16 !!! - and if that’s not fucking traumatizing. But - I think what really affected him was that he thought Mount Weather would be safe. That they could be at peace and safe - that they could eat as much chocolate cake as they want and he could flirt with this cute girl from across the room - but as it turns out - he was never safe. The people in Mount Weather betrayed them and in the end his own people betrayed Jasper - or at least that’s how Jasper felt. And as Jasper said, they went to earth to see if it’s survivable - and from what he’s seen - it’s not.
We’re at S3 now - and when I look back, I’ve always loved Jasper, but you know what, if I’m being honest - I really fell in love with Jasper in S3. And that’s pretty ironic, because people hated on Jasper constantly at that point. And why? Because he couldn’t deal with what happened and tried to cope with alcohol? Because he felt betrayed by his closest friends? Because the girl he fell in love with died in his arms and he couldn’t do anything about it? Because this sixteen year old boy suffered from so much trauma and never really experienced safety on earth? Because he suffers from a real and valid mental illness - PTSD? Because all I’ve read - all these arguments are “Jasper should just get over it”, “they all went through something traumatic” - but that’s the thing - Jasper isn’t everyone else. And you should never expect everyone to deal with their trauma the same way you do. You should never expect someone, who went through hell, to just get over it - and you should never expect Jasper to just get over it, because there are people on the show that went through something similar and are not as affected as Jasper was.
And you might say that S3 Jasper is just “a drunken idiot”, annoying, broken, useless - I don’t care what ugly word you want to throw at him - but you know what? Jasper protected Raven, he actually saved her. Jasper - the apparently annoying, useless mess that you wanted dead - saved and rescued Raven. Jasper was a hero.
And it’s funny, because people call Jasper selfish, self-absorbed and annoying - and I could never see that. Jasper is one of the most caring and loving people on the show and if you want to disagree - fine - but we saw Jasper, while he was positive and dorky - and he helped people, cared about them and showed bravery - and we saw Jasper, while he felt broken and while he drank himself to unconciousness - and he still cared about people, saved Raven, tried to comfort Octavia after Lincoln died or Monty after his mum died - but so many people still had the nerve to call him selfish. Because he can’t just suck it up or act like he’s fine? Because he’s not like every other character?
But while you view him as an annoying character and hate him for acting like this - I just love him more. And just as Devon said - you shouldn’t hate on Jasper, because he’s hard to deal with right now - you should love him for that - you should want to help him, try to show empathy, try to understand him and everything he’s been through.
Because while Jasper might be a fictional character - PTSD and depression are still valid and real mental illnesses. And some people might identify with Jasper - and seeing him - this representation - might help them. There might be many Jaspers out there - and the fact that people have the nerve to call him annoying, because he can’t cope with everything the way the other characters did - well that’s beyond fucked up.
But you know what? I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry if you can’t love a character like Jasper, if you can’t see his complexity and the beauty of this character and the importance of his storyline. I don’t need to see perfect and well-collected characters on TV - I don’t need to see characters that always do what’s right and I don’t need to see characters that never make mistakes. Because that’s not realistic. It wouldn’t portray the reality.
Jasper is a good person, he has a big heart, he’s selfless, brave, loving, passionate, open-minded and he cherishes freedom more than any other character. Jasper is someone, who wouldn’t force his opinion onto you - and he wouldn’t judge you for yours. Jasper doubts himself and he’s insecure, he blames himself for not being able to just act fine - and yes, Jasper is suicidal and he suffers from PTSD - and Jasper will probably die tonight - but Jasper isn’t his mental illness and Jasper will always be more than his death, Jasper will always be more than annoying and Jasper will always be more than this dorky, funny guy in S1 that everyone apparently misses.
Jasper deserves better. Jasper deserved better. And we deserved to see him getting better, we deserved to see him overcome this - we deserved to see him smiling, him being close, best friends with Monty again - Jasper Jordan is maybe 17 years old now and he deserved so much more than that - and I really hoped we would’ve seen more of his journey, because his storyline, his arc could’ve been truly meaningful - but the writers apparently don’t agree.
But you know what - Jasper Jordan is legendary and amazing nevertheless - he’ll always be a hero and a great character in my view.
And at this point I also wanted to thank Devon for portraying Jasper - thank you for getting Jasper, for really trying to understand him and thank you for giving 100% every. single. time. - even when you just had limited screen time or too short scenes. Jasper will always be alive in our hearts, because you portrayed him so beautifully and because you tried to truly understand him in a way unfortunately many viewers couldn’t.
And he might’ve not survived, but that’s not what he wanted - because Jasper wanted to live - and he always will - in our hearts. :)
Jasper Jordan is a legend. See you on the other side, my friend.
A/N: This was supposed to be a gif blurb for a gif @chaos-and-the-calm67 send me. It was born out of two conversations I had today. One with @percywinchester27 and one with @mysupernaturalfics - who is also the sweet angel… really more like demon spawn but… she did beta on short notice. :P
***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***
You felt a knot form in your stomach when you saw her. You had feared something had been going on between the new PA Natasha and your husband. You had never brought it up to him, because saying it would make it real. It wasn’t that he had ever really done anything to make you doubt him, but the way she was giggling and touching him every chance she got, it would upset you more than you cared to admit. You justified his actions in your mind. Jensen was gorgeous and out of your league. You had gained weight and you were feeling less than confident about the way you looked. Especially after having your daughter.You tried telling yourself you couldn’t blame him for going elsewhere to get his needs filled.
It had been three months since the fight, in which Peter had changed seats in class and had ignored you and run away when you tried to approach him. You regretted it. You had started regretting it the moment you got home right after the fight. You wanted to call Peter and apologize, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It hadn’t been your fault, after all. It had been him the one who lied. But why did it feel so wrong? After having him confess his true feelings, you could only think about having him by your side, holding your hand and whispering sweet things into your ear. But that was it, an imagination. Due to what you had said -what you had done, your friendship was ruined. So when, after avoiding him for a week, you tried to approach him, he turned his back to you and left you standing in front of his locker. You just wanted to hug him and apologize, tell him that you understood. And you couldn’t. You were hurt -hurt by the fact that he hadn’t trusted you enough, hurt by the fact that the day after the fight he asked a class partner to change seats with him, hurt by the fact that he didn’t seem to want your friendship to be fixed. You waited. You waited for a month, and when nothing happened, you decided to wait for another month. When the two months had passed and he was still avoiding you, you decided to show up at his house to try and fix things. So you did. You showed up, knocked on the door, and when Aunt May opened it, she first looked angry, like she blamed you for Peter’s sadness. She then looked sad. She could see the bags under your eyes, the puffy eyes, the weight you had lost. You had not only lost your best friend. You had lost everyone you had. Your parents hadn’t been getting along, and they had finally decided to get divorced, and when that happened, you had no one to turn to. You were alone. Aunt May saw that. It was as clear as the fact that she lied when she said Peter wasn’t home. She looked at the floor, letting you know she wasn’t telling the truth. She wanted you to know it was a lie, to ask her to come inside. But you couldn’t. You were tired. Peter didn’t want to see you. He asked his aunt to lie for him. He had decided to end communication with you, and you weren’t in the mood for trying any longer. You were tired. So you went home, where you heard your parents shouting about the divorce papers. You went home, where you laid on your bed, putting on your earbuds, trying to block out the noise. You went home, where you slept for a day and, due to that, missed school.
You had lost motivation. You didn’t feel like going to school nor going out, so you started to miss it. You went three or four times a week, always avoiding Peter, with your hood over your head. You had no one. What was the point? A month went on like that. The same routine everyday. Until one day, as you had just gotten out of the shower, you heard someone knocking at your window. Your head snapped, you being eager to find out who was outside. Weren’t you surprised. The one and only Spiderman. You didn’t know what to do. Should you open the window? Should you ask him to leave? Your instincts answered before you, opening your window before you even realized what you were doing. ‘Can I come in?’ Peter said. His voice -how much had you missed it. How it sounded so childish but rough at the same time. How it made you fuzzy inside. You nodded, walking back to your bed. You sat there, playing with your fingers whilst waiting for him to talk. ‘I’m sorry.’ He said, taking off his mask. ‘I know that isn’t enough. Aunt May told me how you were. I didn’t want to believe her. But then you started to miss school, and you stopped talking. You started to wear oversized hoodies, and it wasn’t until a day at PE where you took it off that I realized how skinny you were. It’s-it’s all my fault. I was an asshole. I left you alone. I didn’t think about you when you got mad. I didn’t think about how betrayed you could be feeling. And when you left, well, I felt kind of relieved. I started to avoid you -I was mad. I didn’t want to have you close. And I’m sorry. What I did was horrible. I will regret it forever. That’s why I’m-‘ He was cut out by your mother’s voice, shouting at your father, who had come to pick the last boxes he needed to take to his new apartment. ‘What’s-what’s going on?’ He asked, a confused look on his face. ‘They got divorced. Last month.’ You said, your voice low. You hadn’t spoken much often. Your mother was too busy working to have dinner with you, and your father had moved out a month and a half ago. You had no other friends at school, so the most you talked was with the bus driver or the cashier at the supermarket. ‘I’m-I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Shit, of course I didn’t know. I’m horrible. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I just-I just wanted to protect you from the bad guys. And the bad guy-the bad guy ended up being me. I’m sorry. I know you won’t fully forgive me, and I understand. I just want you to know that if you ever need me, I’ll be right there for you. No matter when or where. Always.’ He looked sorry. His hand was pulled into a fist holding his mask, his eyes full of regret. You wanted to forgive him. You needed to forgive him. But would it ever be the same? You didn’t know what to do. So when he decided that you weren’t going to talk -that you weren’t going to forgive him, he turned around. But he changed his mind, and he turned around once more, facing you again. He walked to step in front of the bed, lowered himself to be eye-level with you, and muttered a quick ‘sorry for this’ before kissing you. He had intended it to be a short kiss, but as you felt his lips pressed against your own, you suddenly knew what to do. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You made him lay on the bed, not breaking the kiss. And when you finally broke apart to breath, you knew what to say to him. ‘I forgive you, but stay.’ He nodded, laying next to you, covering both of you with the blanket and pulling you close, kissing your neck and muttering a soft ‘goodnight’.
summary: Jungkook breaks your heart member: Jeon Jungkook x reader genre: fluff, romance, angst word count: 2.5k warnings: fuckboy!Jungkookbadboy!Jungkook I hate you Masterlist│ 1 │ 2 │ 3│4 │5│6 │ 7│ (ongoing)
A/N: Thank you, everyone, for your support and encouragement, I really don’t deserve you, “I hate you 5″ hit 250+ likes. Hopefully, this part even though it’s just a filler will not disappoint you either. The next one is going to be juicier and will take awhile, so I’ll post it by 08.07.2017. P.S don’t hesitate to message me anytime, I love reading your feedback! (good or bad)
“You should go with us, it’ll be fun”-Ava told you as she tried on yet another dress
“I don’t want to be a third wheel, just leave me out this once, I won’t be mad”-you replied to her when she invited you to go to a party with her and Jimin.
“Don’t be stupid, there will be plenty other people you know, you never get to hang out with them, now you have a chance”
“I know that I just don’t want it to get awkward, especially after you ditched me to go with Jimin twice in a row”-you teased Ava
“Well, I apologized for that, but it wasn’t planned, it happened spontaneously, both times”-said Ava with slight shame for leaving you alone still apparent in her voice. You decided going to the party was worth a shot, especially because you desperately wanted to see Jungkook.
They reach a cease-fire of sorts on their return to the office on Monday, though very few words are exchanged about it. Mulder tries to apologize the moment Scully walks in the door in the morning, but she stops him immediately.
“I’m in no way ready to let this go or move on from it, Mulder,” she says, “but the fact remains that we need to work together, and this building isn’t an appropriate place to discuss this.” He nods meekly. “We’ve gotten the X-Files back, but you and I both know that if we can’t do our jobs, for any reason, this office won’t stay ours for very long.”
He’s tempted to push the matter- he’s been practicing his apology all weekend long- but he’s well aware that he’s on extremely thin ice with her right now. He has some idea that on Friday afternoon she had probably come as close to quitting as she ever has before, and it wouldn’t take more than a few wrong words from him to push her out of the door for good.
So he clams up, helps her finish setting their office back to rights, and even takes the very first case that she suggests, even though he’s not really sure that it qualifies as an X-File- or that it’s a good idea, at the moment, given what the case will require from both of them. By Wednesday, they’re on a plane to California, dressed in unfamiliar clothing, with unfamiliar suitcases stuffed with more of the same, on their way to the sort of neighborhood that Mulder would never, in a million years, want to live in.
He can’t stop fiddling with the wedding band on his left hand. The feel of it is at once familiar and foreign, and he keeps running his fingers over it again and again. He thinks that Scully might tell him to knock it off, that he’s drawing unnecessary attention to it, if it weren’t for the fact that she’s been fast asleep for most of the trip. It’s not unusual for her to sleep in the car, and their flight is early, so he’s not surprised she sleeps on the way to the airport… but she almost never manages to nap during flights, so when she spends both legs of the trip to California snoring, he starts to become a little concerned, especially when she dozes on and off the whole time he’s driving them to the Falls at Arcadia. But when his questions are met with the standard “I’m fine, Mulder,” he lets it drop.
The entire time they’re in Arcadia, Mulder can’t stop putting his hands all over her- at least, not when other people are around. They’ve been so distant from each other for weeks, leaving him starved for her touch, and now, he’s been provided with an innocent reason to seek it out. In fact, touching her is almost a requirement, as the residents of Arcadia will almost certainly notice if they don’t look like a normal, happy couple. He senses, however, that Scully doesn’t appreciate his affections at all, a fact that’s hammered home for him when she kicks him out of “their” bed and sends him downstairs to the couch.
He goes without protest. He knows he’s still on thin ice.
The feel of another presence in the bedroom is what wakes Scully on their last night in the mammoth cookie-cutter house. Even though the case has been resolved, the events of the previous evening have left her jumpy, especially since she’s still sleeping in the bedroom where she’d seen the creature attacking Big Mike. She’d cleaned the room up as best as she could, with Mulder’s help, but still, she’d rather not be sleeping here tonight.
She senses more than sees Mulder sitting on the side of her bed, and immediately, she’s annoyed. She’d made it clear to him that he should keep his distance, so what the hell does he think he’s doing, sneaking in here and watching her sleep? She sits up, ready to tell him off, but he speaks before she gets the chance.
“She wanted to have a child and I didn’t,” he says, his voice soft and sad. “That was what ended us. Or one of the reasons, anyway.” He sighs. “We never should have been together in the first place. Not really.” As tempted as Scully still is to send him packing, it’s the most he’s opened up to her about this so far, and she’s hesitant to stop him. She gets the feeling that he finds it easier to talk about this in the dark, so she doesn’t turn on the light on the nightstand.
“Why didn’t you want to have a baby?” she asks.
“A few reasons,” he says. “I was working under Patterson in VCU back then, profiling, spending all of my time trying to get inside the heads of the absolute worst that society had to offer. Part of me didn’t feel right bringing a child into a world where monsters like that existed. And there was my own childhood, of course… the fear that I guess everyone who grew up unloved has, the fear of turning into my own father.”
Scully can’t help herself. As angry as she is, she needs to touch him. She reaches out and feels for his shoulder in the dark, running her hand comfortingly along his arm. He reaches up and takes her hand in his own.
“Don’t you still have those fears, Mulder?” she asks. “It’s not like you’ve seen anything to make you think that the world is any safer, since your days in violent crimes.”
“No, I haven’t,” he agrees. “But that was only part of my reason. When it came down to it… it was her I didn’t want to have children with, Scully. We rushed into the marriage- my fault, more than anything, because I was lonely and desperate and wanted to believe that someone cared about me- but if we had waited long enough, I wouldn’t have married her.” In the dim light from the bedroom window, she can see him hanging his head. “Eventually I started to get this feeling about her… this sense of coldness, aloofness, selfishness, a sense of detachment. I started noticing that we never actually compromised, that we always ended up doing things her way, but that she always managed to make me think we were compromising.” He sighs. “I started realizing that none of those things were traits I wanted in someone I would be raising a child with. And eventually… I realized I didn’t want to share my life with someone like that, either. We divorced, she went to Europe, and that was the last I saw of her until last June.”
“If you really felt that way about her, Mulder,” Scully says, “why was it so hard for you to believe me? Why were you so insistent on trusting her?”
“Because I wanted so badly to believe that she still cared for me, Scully,” he says. “Almost everyone in my life has died, left me, or betrayed me. Can you understand why I didn’t want to think that Diana was just one more person who had abandoned me?” He squeezes her hand tighter. “I’m so sorry, Scully. I should have listened. You are the one person in my life who has never, ever let me down. You deserve better from me than what I’ve given you.”
It’s that phrase- what he’s given her- that thaws her, because she’s struck, suddenly, with the full realization that he doesn’t know what he’s given her. And she can’t let it stay that way. She moves to sit next to him and takes him in her arms, letting his head fall against her shoulder. She can feel his tears on her neck, feel him relax in relief against her, and she kisses the skin just below his ear before she draws back.
“Mulder,” she says, “I need to tell you something, too.” She takes a deep breath. “I think that this time… it worked.”
For a moment, he doesn’t understand what she’s saying… but even in the dim light, she can see the moment that the realization dawns, the moment his face is flooded with joy.
“I’m pregnant,” she says, her voice breaking with emotion. “We’ll get the real confirmation at my appointment next week, but….” She smiles tentatively. “I took a test, Mulder, and it was positive. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I told myself I was just waiting until the doctor confirmed it, but really, I was just so angry that I couldn’t make myself-” He cuts her off, there, by seizing her face in his hands and pressing his lips to hers. He kisses her fiercely, passionately, and she can feel his need for her thrumming in every inch of her body.
“Scully,” he says hoarsely, when they finally break apart. “Oh my god. Scully.” He kisses her again… and then laughs ruefully.
“What?” she asks.
“I just realized,” he chuckles. “This is just like before… just like at Christmas. We can’t- I mean, not that I was assuming that we would, but if we wanted to, we can’t… not until after your appointment, right?”
“No, we can’t,” she says, smiling. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t stay here with me tonight, does it?” He grins.
“No, it doesn’t,” he says. Still smiling, Scully tucks herself back under the covers, holding them open in invitation. Mulder climbs in next to her, taking her in his arms and holding her tenderly against his bare chest. She inhales deeply, filling herself with his scent, luxuriating in it.