but i still want to just mess it up

CHAPTER 3


JACKSON

For the first time in forever, I wake up on a Saturday morning in a bed that’s not empty. That’s not to say I don’t bring women home frequently - because lately it’s been getting worse and worse. It’s too easy to get bored in this place all on my own, and having someone else here to occupy my body more than my mind is a good temporary placeholder.

I hadn’t meant to let her sleep here. Usually they don’t want to, anyway. With my eyes still closed, my brain conjures up an image of who’s lying next to me. She’ll be on her side facing me, one arm under her pillow and the other one under her chin. She’ll have gone to bed in a pajama set but will wake up in much less, probably just boyshort underwear and a long-sleeved shirt, because her legs get hot. Instead of brushed and curled, her red hair will be a frizzy mess on top of her head that I’ll work on smoothing down the moment I open my eyes.

Keep reading

3

Older Klance? older MARRIED klance (they are like 30ish and still in space)

Mashing up my favorite things: Lance being Allura’s diplomatic ambassador (@worlds-shortest-astronaut) , and in a nice committed relationship between them.

I don’t need you to fix me. I just want to know that you still care.Despite the mess I am. You are not here to heal the scars. 
See that I’m busy patching up this broken heart.Since I search everywhere for any debris,longing to heal what is dying.
I silently hope you’ll still want to love this chaotic soul and this miserable mind.Because I just need you to hold my hand . As I fix the chaos I’ve known. So I just want your love through out the storm.Please let me know I’m not alone.
5

Renji has a baby ♥♥♥

I was in the mood for some Dad!Renji because I think he is an awesome dad and I need more Renji & Ichika pictures <3 (although I think he likes it more to play soccer with her instead of tea party- he still won’t refuse but gets so bored and falls asleep). He messed up with the food in the second picture (I just love to draw this kind of faces).

I want to draw another version with Rukia and Ichika as well. 

101, of course, looks much the same when you flip it on its head.

(please note, this isn’t my observation, just my graphic. Others have already pointed this out, on reddit [x] and here on tumblr [x])

She needs time. For the seconds will tell you who she is. For the hours will show you how to love her. The days we lose ourselves to how we should have been. She needs time like forever isn’t enough. So I’ve been writing about her. How much longer will she wait for you? We lose so often in a day. Mistakes define us. They do. There is plenty to do, don’t beat yourself up over the details. You know, you once wanted to be more. I’m here to say this. You only need to be yourself around me. Okay? I’ll be here and that’s not a promise. It happens everyday. I’m still a mess, you just make it better, right?

Signs as Shit my Philosophy Teacher Says:
  • Aries: "Don't bring me that smoothie bullshit, I want real, authentic, Indian food!"
  • Taurus: "Yo, I know you're the head bitch here, but you're wrong"
  • Gemini: "We are still suffering, bitches"
  • Cancer: "Guys, you need to know the bible"
  • Leo: "That guy isn't compassionate, he's a dick"
  • Virgo: "You don't deserve shit!"
  • Libra: "Gotta learn how to love it, gotta learn how to hug it"
  • Scorpio: "We are all messed up, we are all broken"
  • Sagittarius: "That's bullshit just keep the money"
  • Capricorn: "Someone has peeled an onion here right- Are. You. Kidding me?!"
  • Aquarius: "Hey man I'm depressed and that sucks"
  • Pisces: "Shut up! I'm good at art guys!"
She is kind, she is loving, she is caring, she is beautiful but not just in a physical way but in her mind too. She is chaotic, she is anxious, she is exhausted, she is constantly challenged. She is crazy, she is shy but she is talkative, she is nurturing, she is respectful as well as understanding. She is someone you want, she is someone you need, she creeps up on you when the world stands still and all you can think about is her. She is a mess but she wears her mess beautifully that even on her bad days she still shines brighter than the brightest star in the evening sky.
—  t.i // Dear ladies you are all beautiful just the way you are, do not compare yourself and do not underestimate your capabilities.

it just hit me that seventeen are consistently winning awards now like they are honestly truly rising. all of their hard work is being acknowledged and they have a lot of fans voting for them and the public isn’t even questioning it because they are growing fond of the boys too. I’m so proud of them and I’m trying to not be an emotional mess at 6am but I just !!!! it’s nice to see their faces light up with genuine shock every time their name gets called at award shows bc they still doubt their success and don’t anticipate their wins you know? i want them to always have that feeling of happiness and recognition bc they deserve it. so, so much

How to talk to a introvert when you're a introvert.

I’m  really shy, and there is this girl I really like that is also really shy. This girl has attempted to start conversations with me, but I just always kind of mess it up by not failing to continue it due to the tremendous of social anxiety. I have had full fledged conversations with her in the past, but it didn’t and still doesn’t happen as consistently as I would want to be. I have gradually gotten better at talking to extroverts, and by “talking” I mean listen to what they say and do the occasional nod or comment. Although, I still feel scared in a way to talk to this shy girl I like. What do you guys recommend I do? Should I talk to her about my difficulties in talking to? Any help would be appreciated.

TLDR: There is this girl I like that is shy. I want to get to know her better, but I’m shy as well. What do I do?

2

I don’t want to add my opinion into this massive shitstorm because all of this is becoming a little too much for me and I can’t take it…..

But I at least have to say this. 

Sean did not backstab Felix. 

If acknowledging the fact that your friend messed up, while still being there for them, is backstabbing, then….you may need to look up what a friend is. 

Now if Sean just straight up denounced Felix and completed separated himself from him, then that’s a whole other story, but that’s not what happened. Sean stood by his word that Felix was a decent person who messed up and now has to face the consequences, whatever they are. He even said that he was still there for him. I can see how some might see that as him “throwing Felix under the bus”, but…..if your friend messes up, you can’t ignore it like that. You just can’t. It’s a tough situation to be in. 

Yes, I understand that he didn’t go enough into the media side of it in the video, but enough people have covered that topic pretty well, and he wasn’t defending what they did exactly. He was saying that the media could do what they did, which doesn’t mean he agrees with it (and he doesn’t). You can understand something but not agree with it. For some reason, that’s hard for people to understand….

Could he have elaborated more and been clearer on that? Yes, of course, that would have helped a lot, but making a perfect video that perfectly explains everything you want to say is damn near impossible. If you’re someone who hasn’t watched a lot of his videos, or you already don’t like him, it’s easy for you to misinterpret this as him being “too lenient” on the media. And I get that, because he focused more on Felix than the media, it looks like he’s taking sides. The “wrong” side. 

You don’t always have to take a side. Not every “fight” requires you to take a side. And if you don’t choose, it doesn’t mean you’re abandoning someone or you’re too afraid. Being able to see and understand both sides, and acknowledge the faults in both without needing to declare one a “winner”, is not a bad thing. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t still be there for one of the sides. 

And before you say it, I have watched Sean for a while and it is possible I’m biased because of it. But if I see someone mess up no matter who it is, I will speak up about it. Sean has made mistakes in the past, I know he has, but sharing your balanced opinion is not a mistake. So I’m going to defend him. 

Of course, I’m just a person on the internet, so what do I really know about the situation, but I could say the same to you: You can’t tell someone how they should react to something. Felix hasn’t said anything on the matter yet, if at all, so we don’t know how he reacted to this. From Sean’s tumblr post last night, I would like to think that Felix didn’t react as harshly as some other people did. 

And to those people, I say: Back. Off. 

Opinions exist for a reason, so allow people to share theirs and don’t try to force them to change it.

I’m not trying to start something, but I woke up this morning to Sean’s tweets saying that he regretted his video, and it broke my heart. I was so proud of Sean for saying what he did– for proving that you can be a good friend while also saying that your friend made a mistake– but then everyone took it way too far and started oversimplifying things and making generalizations. That’s not okay, and I won’t stand for that.

You can’t bully someone into retracting an opinion that they believe in. 

Just stop it.

Think. 

And Sean (@therealjacksepticeye), I’m sure I’m not the only one who is here for you if you need it. Your opinion is not wrong, and people can’t pressure you to change it like this. 

We’re here. 

(I know I didn’t address everything, but I don’t feel like writing a novel. I’m also so tired of this, and I want it all to end.)

Deep Dreaming

Word Count: 1,978
Reader Gender: Female

Warnings: SMUT, wet dream, penetrative sex, unprotected, cursing, licking, multiple orgasms, rough sex

Love Interest: Bucky
Note: I randomly thought of this today what has my life come to lmao

Originally posted by sebastiansource

Originally posted by kissing-pleasure

He turned me over roughly, my stomach pressing against the soft mattress. He brought my hands near my head and pinned them there. I gasped as he thrusted roughly into me, repeating his actions. My hair covered my face, obstructing my view of him. I turned into a moaning mess, and he gently moved the hair away from my face. His pace slowed down, but each thrust was still as hard as before.

I whimpered, biting my lip as he continued to tease me. He did it just enough to keep me horny and keep me wanting so much more. His lips latched onto my neck gently, slowly trailing down to my shoulder. His mouth moved over to a portion of my spine and licked all the way up to the base of my neck. I bit my lip harder, softly whispering out his name. I felt him smirk against me, going faster and harder.

“Bu…Bucky.” I moaned out, gasping.

I heard him moan against the skin of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. His moans fueled my pleasure as much as mine did his. I felt the pleasure rising in me, slowly bubbling up to my brain. He pulled out last minute, earning a whimper from me. He quickly and roughly thrusted back in, only to pull right back out. He repeated his actions until my hands tightly closed around his, and he went faster and harder than before

“Oh, God.” I moaned out, tightly shutting my eyes.

My eyes snapped open as I moaned out his name again, sadly realizing that it was just a dream. A very sexy dream, but a dream nonetheless. I sat up in bed, looking around the empty room, a part of me hoping that he’d just burst through the door. He’s been gone out on a mission with Steve for 2 weeks now, and I’ve missed every inch of him. He’s usually not out for this long, and I’ve been worrying sick.

Worrying about whether he’ll come back.

Worrying if HYDRA captured him.

Worrying if he got hurt.

Worrying if he’s in bad shape.

Worrying if he’s dead.

Worrying.

I know better than to call him first, it could potentially blow his cover or give his position away. So, instead, I’m forced to wait for his call. He calls when he has the time, or he’ll text me if he’s okay but I’m not allowed to text back unless he says otherwise. I felt tears brim my eyes as I got out of the bed and put my slippers on. I lazily walked to the kitchen as I hugged myself, trying my best not to cry. I just want to know he’s okay.

I just want to feel him on me, his arms hugging my waist as he kissed my neck. His sleeping head adorably placed on my stomach when I wake up in the morning. I want to wake up to him kissing me again. I want to feel him inside of me, him biting my skin. I want to feel him pounding into my mercilessly. I want to hear his small little moans of pleasure. I want to feel him pin me to the wall and kiss me.

I picked up my cup of tea, quickly heading back into the safety and comfort of my room. Last night I put on one of his shirts, it made me feel a little better. The scent of his cologne helps me sleep at night and put my mind at ease. Apparently it worked a little too well, considering the dream I had. I smiled a little as I remembered it, wishing he’d just come through the door and take me right fucking now.

I sat back on the bed, setting my cup on the counter so it could cool down a bit. My eyes grazed over the picture of the two of us, and I picked it up. My thumb grazed over the frame as I took it in. I sighed as I set it back down, biting my lip as I looked at the nightstand. I kept all of my toys in the bottom drawer, but I rarely used the vibrators anymore. Usually Bucky and I were horny at the same time, so there was never really a use for it anymore.

Plus, when he’d be out on a mission with Steve he’d usually be back within a few days, sometimes a week on rare occasions. I looked at the drawer for another moment before opening it and taking out my favourite vibrator. I wiggled off my underwear before laying down. I usually just slept in a shirt and underwear, I wasn’t a fan of pj’s unless I was sick or cold. I turned it on and closed my eyes, slowly shoving it into me.

I moaned loudly, arching my back as I slowly went faster. I slid my free hand up to my breast, biting my lip. I turned up the speed on the vibrator, my hands having already memorized the locations of the switches. I gasped as the heat in the room grew, slowly reaching my climax. I moaned softly, picturing Bucky on top of me instead of the vibrator. I moaned out his name, and then suddenly the vibrator was taken away from me. My eyes snapped open, and Bucky exhaled loudly, whistling slightly.

“That,” His eyebrows raised, “Almost drove me nuts.”

“Bucky?” I asked, instantly hugging him.

“Hey, Doll.” He hugged me tightly, burying his neck into my hair.

“You don’t know how much I missed you.” I spoke into his shirt.

“I think I got a pretty good idea just now.” He said, and I could feel him smirk, “Any particular reason why you couldn’t wait for me?”

“I kind of had this wet dream about you just now and you’ve been gone for like two weeks and I-” He cut me off be kissing me.

“Well, I’m here now.” He spoke into my ear, his voice deep.

He kissed along my jawline and down to my neck, leaving love bites as he did so. I bit my lip, moaning softly as he slowly brought the both of us down onto the bed. He pulled away to take off his shirt, and I took that time to remove mine as well. He instantly went back to my collar bone, slowly biting down my torso. My hands tangled themselves in his hair as he stopped under my belly button.

I looked down at him and he smirked as he licked and kissed his way to my hip bone. Once he was there he bit down roughly, earning a squeal from me and a chuckle from him. He slowly went back up to my breasts, and I could tell he was teasing me at this point. His mouth latched onto my nipple, and I arched my back in pleasure. I could feel him smile lightly as my massaged the other one. 

“Fuck, Bucky.” I whispered out as he switched sides.

“What, Babydoll?” He asked as he bit down, “Want a little more?”

“Oh, God, yes. I want so much more.” I said desperately, begging for him to be inside me

“Tell me what you want, Babydoll.” He demanded, going back up to my neck.

“I want to feel your dick fill me up. I want you to fuck me mercilessly. I want you to pin me to the bed and use me. I want you to make me cum until I pass out. I want you to-FUCK!” I shouted as he roughly shoved himself inside of me.

My back arched as he pounded into me mercilessly, pulling my hair so my back was stuck in an arch. My breasts bounced violently, and he attacked my breasts. He bit down hard, earning a whimper from me. He moaned out deeply, and I felt myself get pushed farther over the edge. My moans came quick and whimpered as he let go of my hair and instead put his arms around my back and lifted me up slightly.

The feeling of me dangling there helplessly while he pounded into me sent me over the edge. I gripped his arms as my orgasm overrode my brain, my nails dinging into the skin of his flesh arm. He moaned out as my walls tightened against his dick. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and my back tensed. I moaned out loudly, gripping tighter onto his arms. Once I came back down to earth, I let go of his arms.

He lifted me up fully, and threw me back onto the bed. My stomach hit the soft mattress, and I bounced back up a bit. Bucky came right behind me and pinned my arms behind my back with his metal arm, and brought my ass up with his flesh one. He shoved himself into me without warning, and thrusted deep, hard, and fast. My hands closed into a fist as he moved the hair away from my face and pressed my head into the mattress.

I moaned loudly as I felt myself getting pushed into another orgasm. He pulled out, and instead rubbed his dick against my clit. I bit my lip and whimpered, he knew exactly what he was doing. He moaned out as I wiggled my hips, wanting to feel him inside of me again. He abruptly shoved himself back into me and I cried out in pleasure. I shuttered out a breath, feeling another orgasm shoot it’s way through my body.

I tensed up, pleasure overriding my mind once again. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and my breath hitched. I moaned out as I came back down to Earth and he pulled out of me. He let go of my arms, and lifted me up then shoved me onto the wall that the headboard of the bed touched. My body trembled, partly from cumming twice and partly from the pleasure that he was creating.

He roughly pressed he tightly against the wall, pinning my hands to the wall with his. He interlocked fingers with me as he roughly shoved himself inside of me. I cried out and his flesh hand released mine, and covered my mouth so my moans were muffled. I felt him tense up for a moment, and then it was gone. I brought my hand down to my clit, and rubbed it violently. I moaned rapidly as a new form of pleasure was sent through me.

He moaned deeply and rapidly, biting my shoulder. The sound of the headboard slamming against the wall I was on only fueled my pleasure. I felt him tense up, and he bit my shoulder again, this time rougher than before. He licked the spot he bit before biting down on it again. My voice raised an octave as I felt myself reach an orgasm harder than the other two that I had.

“Fuck, Y/n, I’m going to fucking cum.” He said, tensing up again.

I felt him shoot into me just as I reached my own orgasm. I shuttered as my eyes rolled into the back of my head, my walls clutching the dick that was inside of me. He moaned louder than before, his thrusts now slower but still hard. The headboard slammed one final time before he pulled out of me, and stepped back enough for me to collapse onto the bed. I felt him lay beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist and his head resting on my stomach.

“Was that as good as your dream, Babydoll?” He asked with a smile and I breathlessly chuckled.

“That, Bucky, was so much fucking better.” I said, still out of breath, “But now I’m tired.”

“You can’t go to bed without taking a shower.” He said lowly, kissing my stomach.

MARK FUCKING SAYS AT 2:14 IN HIS FUCKING RESPECT VIDEO THAT HE IS NOT DEFENDING PEWDIEPIE’S “JOKE” SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING HE IS EXCUSING FELIX

I don’t want to fight, nor am I trying to, but I’m tired of seeing people saying “Mark is overlooking the problem” or “He’s just like every other celebrity” or that he’s a bad person. He says himself he is not defending the joke but that Felix is being treated terribly over something that he has already apologized and been punished for. Yet people are still spreading hate and slander of him when they don’t even know the man outside of his youtube channel or how much he regrets this. And yes I understand there’s people you don’t want to respect or believe shouldn’t have it but Mark starts his video by defining respect as just human decency. He’s saying that even when someone messes up that we should not condemn them over something they can learn from or treat them as an outsider but to see that they’re just human too. We all make mistakes but that is how we learn. I disagree with Felix’s joke as well, but I believe he is truly sorry just as Mark and Jack both do. Please do not let the media brainwash you, but research and find both sides of the story and make your own opinions and I respect if you disagree with me. I just wanted to show that Mark is not saying that the joke Felix made was excusable nor is he defending him, he just wants us to treat everyone with kindness even when they make mistakes, especially once they’ve apologized and have already been punished enough. 

Seeing that pin up picture with a girl, that had the focus on her legs and some dude actually sitting in the plane I couldn’t help myself. 
I know it’s not very Barry like but imagining him showing up there for a second and do this just to mess with Hal, who is getting ready for take off is still funny in my head. But I actually think that Hal loves his legs haha

you know what still really messes me up? the look on aaron’s face when robert says “i’ll wait for you” in that goddamn park. he is honestly so shocked, so shy and all wide eyed and just surprised that rob would actually wait for him. as if that lanky love sick puppy wouldn’t have waited forever for him? as if he hadn’t been waiting for aaron already for months?? as if rob hadn’t wanted to be with aaron so badly his own sister started to realise why he was behaving the way he was just to be closer to the boy??? the look on his face just still gets me because in a way it makes sense when you think about everything from aaron’s point of view. up until that moment, well before he told rob about the abuse, all he had done was push robert away, tell him to leave him alone and just stay out of his way. and then he’s finally close to him again, and he misses him so much and then robert won’t kiss him. like that must have just cemented everything he thought: i had my chance and i blew it. and that must have been crushing, but then rob comes over and tells him that he’ll wait for him and aaron being aaron doesn’t realise that rob’s been doing that all along. rob has been ‘seeing him like that’ since he first clapped eyes on him and he’s been waiting, holding back, giving aaron space - not because he doesn’t want him but because he wants him so much he’d rather wait than rush what they had and miss out on the chance of giving things a ‘proper go’.
like this makes me so emotional? aaron never thought he’d be worth waiting for and then robert came along and this patient saint of a sinner waited months for him, would have waited years and that very fact is able to shock aaron so much just does things to me.

excuse me...

i have these moments where i just hear something by taylor or read about something she’s done and there’s a part of me that wants to be calm and relaxed but this other part of me always wins and i end up an ugly crying mess because of her and that’s where i am right now. i have no idea why ive been feeling the way i have lately but the second i heard that old Untouchable performance all of the tears and all of the feelings just like……..,.,,,,,,,,,… made me crumble???? i still spend some days wondering how someone as sweet and generous and hard working as taylor ends up getting her name dragged through the mud when literally all she wants to do is make people happy as much as she can whether it’s with her music or just her presence. i dont understand. im so lost like can someone draw a map for me because we’ve all practically watched her grow up and be so many different versions of herself. from the awkward dork to the strongest she can be in the spotlight and then there’s the sweet little fairy and you just know that no matter what version of her she’s being, she’s trying to be human and she is. it’s so hard to remember this with celebrities because we put them in these glass cases never to be touched but left to fade from the camera flashes like these priceless masterpieces. but there’s a reason it seems so easy to imagine yourself stopping at starbucks for coffee after a day of shopping or drinking wine on a roof and spilling secrets like…..she’s so real. she is actually like,,,,,,not just a concept, you know? i wish there were more people like her and i wish there were more of her in me. it used to be this thing of like wishing i was in her position (because c’mon like who doesnt want to be talented, rich, and beautiful) but now i find myself wanting to make other people’s days a little better somehow, everyday. it’s that chain reaction situation that makes her such a great person because the more good you put into the world, the better it gets and it’s such a terrible place so the smallest things make it just a little easier to live in and i dont know. she’s such a bright light. i find myself listening to her more and thinking of her when she’s not around and it’s not a painful ‘i miss you’ anymore it’s more like a safety blanket, remembering days when i began to pay attention to her and nights when my mom wouldnt know what to do when i cried about just one line in her songs. i sound so pathetic right now but i really love taylor swift and honestly days like today where i feel like im on an island and no one can hear or see me, somehow she makes me feel like it’s more of a vacation from the outside world than isolation. idk but like……taylor swift was a very good idea.

Fellow Maul fans, it’s been one heckuva ride (so far..) And no matter what happens by the end of season 3 I just want to take a look at Maul through the years because…. feels.

TPM Maul:
-silent
-badass
-hot
-and strangely seductive???
-horrible dental hygiene
-murders your baes and steals your heart
-#SITH

Spider-Maul:
-messed up
-I mean wtf
-broken in every sense of the word
-needs help
-and food
-you just want to hold him

Galactic Domination Maul:
-still hot
-(hot damn)
-v-neck shirt 👌
-has dreams to monologue about
-literally is 100% aesthetic
-murders your baes but you’re too far gone to hate him

Destroy the Sith™ Maul:
-sass grandpa
-no legs no shirt no problems
-finally seen the light??? Hahaha no
-magically perfect teeth
-smartass
-still hot like how even
-Lady Tano

Destroy the Sith™ (more like Kenobi) Maul 2.0:
-polo shirt
-literally never shuts up
-seriously he has no filter
-still doesn’t succeed at anything
-tries so hard
-can’t take a hint
-you think he just needs a hug

I have this headcanon that Spock’s ears wiggle when he’s super focused and doesn’t notice it happens. And obviously one day Jim/Bones will somehow manage to capture the moment in a holo. 
I want to do endless animations but damn, the frame count is not doing wonders for my platform! (Also I reused my steam animation because I messed up the new improved one one .. sigh)

And I’m still replying to your suggestions, I’m just slow!

can you guys do something for me?

the Instagram account @/the.booklovers.guide has posted a really offensive and triggering photo where someone painted their arm to replicate the cover of carve the mark. the arm is painted all blue and theres slits on their inner arm/wrist painted gold. it undeniably is mimicking self harm. if you have instagram, can you please report this photo? its been up for 2 days, it still hasn’t been removed despite a bunch of people reporting it and asking the poster to take it down. this photo is really messing with a lot of people, me included, in dangerous ways. i just want it to be taken down. i keep going back to the account to check up on it and every time its still there. looking at it over and over again is not good for me but I’m compelled to do it anyway because i genuinely can’t believe this is being defended as “art” and people are throwing around the accusation that the people being triggered by it are “too sensitive”.