but i still want to just mess it up

anonymous asked:

You said you get high in one of your posts. I hope it's jut weed and not any hard drugs :(

It’s just weed, no worries. My anxiety got really bad with grief and it’s been the only thing that consistently helps. It also allows me to actually sleep, it has been quite the lifesaver.

I do appreciate the concern.
I don’t… Really wanna talk about the extent of how badly grief has messed me up because I have a lot of fears/issues with death, dying and a whole bundle of insecurities, and talking about them, while may help everyone to understand and maybe even cope with their own stuff, is still… Triggering to me? I’m still neck deep in this stuff and trying to stay afloat.
So, I hope you guys understand that I’m not going to answer any more on this kinda subject. It’s sensitive to me.

I just want to create a rockin’ podcast and not bring in all this terrible stuff in places I go to escape. I love you all!

You need to stop telling me I’ll be alright, let me feel these things and let me feel like dying in my own ways of suicide, I need a lot of time to get fucked up even more. You have to stop making me feel like I’m wrong all the time and my attitude fucking stinks, you need to get away from my truths if you don’t want it, because I’m so tired of your sugar coated shit too. Don’t tell me to die because I’ve been trying not to, don’t give me a glance like you have stayed for too long but did nothing at all, don’t turn away and say you have done your best for me. Stop lying about how your actions messing up with my head all over again. Stop being in denial about your words that wrecking the tiny confidence left in me. You, most of you, just stop yelling at me and still pretend you’ve been good to me. You need to stop acting like you care when you keep repeating the same wrong ways of showing it. I’ll never ever get better by how you tell me to stop, I need your support on whatever I’m going through, be with me, I don’t need your talk while waving your hands on the other side of the road. Just say nothing, do nothing, make me feel something, like something that will give me a willingness to keep fighting and to use it as a hope to clean whatever I did to myself. Don’t make it worse, help me get better. Don’t judge me because this is me right now and still wanting it to last longer, don’t talk shit about me because I’m so complicated to be with. This might be a part of me, but yeah this is me, but please look at me like you’re not disgusted, because this is not the whole me, the other part you’ve been waiting for is still hiding and please help me uncover her and tell her not to be afraid. Understand and accept who I am now first, because for me, I kinda hating it but I love this part, don’t hate me because I want to be with her until it stops being too painful loving her.

anonymous asked:

I know we're all dead but can we talk about how cute it was that he said thank you when she took her top off? And how intimate that moment was when he just took a second to look at her, to breathe her in, to confirm that this was really happening? Cause of death: Olicity.

Oliver was the perfect gentleman throughout that entire scene. 

Starting from the beginning, he was… everything. He was a man who was clearly still in love with this woman, but he’d also heard her last season when she said she was, for all intents and purposes, done. He was a man who was willing to get every tiny scrap of her natural sunlight, no matter what the cost for himself. Y’all are lying to yourselves if Felicity wasn’t doing exactly what Curtis suggested when the idea of her trying the salmon ladder came about. She’s all cute and flirty and doing something that shows a lot of skin, and yet, the entire time, Oliver was just so sweet. He didn’t push it, he didn’t take what are pretty obvious signs, he didn’t do anything without her explicit permission and direction. They went through two bottles of wine, my friends, they were quite a few sheets to the wind and still, he was the perfect gentleman. Even when she asked him to help her down, when he grabbed her waist, when he held her close, letting her down gently, cradling her like she’s the most important thing in his entire world (she is)…

(src)

He was just… 

(src)

… so Oliver and so respectful and I loved it so much.

But then it gets better.

Felicity finally makes the first move, she kisses him and remember the way he responded? 

(src)

(wow they kiss really well like damn well done a+)

He gives it his all because that’s all he wants to give her. He messed up so much in the past, and while the source of those issues are deeply buried and require a fucking bulldozer to unearth, it doesn’t change that it effectively ruined the best thing in his life. But now, now he has her back and it’s everything. Yes, the wine has stripped their inhibitions, but it just scratched off the surface, revealing what they’ve always, always wanted.

(src)

(src)

(This was cute af, anon, I so agree. He’s so totally getting swept up in the sensation of having her in his arms again, of kissing her, tasting her, feeling her, and it’s intoxicating. It takes over everything, leaving no room for anything but continuing to feel those wonderful things. We see that in the way he suddenly spins her, with so much intent, so much purpose - I know I’m not the only one who thought that was going somewhere else - but then he’s so painfully gentle with her. He could absolutely rip her sweater to pieces if he wanted to and he knew she probably wouldn’t complain one bit until later, but he didn’t, because remember, this is the Oliver who has been in love with this woman forever and he lost her and he’s been respecting her wishes in not pursuing a relationship and suddenly she’s here and she’s with him, but that doesn’t change where they are mentally, where he’s at mentally. (Wow, tangent.) It’s marked with that soft, adorable smile of his - that happy smile of his - and the way he says, “Thank you.” It’s really as if he’s thanking her for giving them this chance again.)

And then…

(src)

The passion is back, brimming over, all-consuming, burning them from the insides out, taking over everything, pulling them together like the magnets that they are…

But that’s not all it’s about, not quite. It’s about that, oh yes, but it’s also about connecting again, not just physically but emotionally and mentally, with their very souls. This isn’t just physical for Oliver, nor is it for Felicity, which is what he needs to double check, he needs to see, to make sure that… 

Well, that this is happening, that it’s what he thinks it is, that she’s on the same page, that she wants this, that she wants it as badly as he does, that she’s doing it for the same reasons, that… 

(src)

(the way he whispers her name, a gasp, a breathless plea… a prayer…)

He has to make sure. He has to. One, because it’s Oliver and when it comes to Felicity, there’s never been a halfway. 

Which is so very interesting considering what happened tonight - thinking about it from Oliver’s perspective, he honestly thought he was giving Felicity everything he could. He didn’t know at the time that he was only giving half of himself, only giving her the pieces he felt worthy of her, not realizing that he was hiding things from her, all under the guise of trying to protect her, in his own warped way. He has been broken, in his mind, for so long, but it’s only when he’s whole within himself that he can finally be with her, which we’re finally seeing, thank goodness.

He’s all in or he’s all out and he needs to know that Felicity is there with him.

(src)

But not a simple “Are you sure this is what you want,” no, it’s more than that.

(src)

It’s about them, and their love for each other.

(src)

And there it is. She’s right there with him, her love for him shining through, bathing him in its purity, a cleansing feeling that shines light in the darkest corners of his being (even if he doesn’t recognize it until much much much later). 

Cause of death: Olicity 

Indeed, anon. Indeed.

A sort of a giveaway.

I have this extra deck wallet that I made, that doesn’t look very good.

We had a fight.

And since I don’t want to take it apart, I figured that somebody might not be as picky as I am and still want to use it! 

And some of my favourite crystals to compensate!

The wallet works perfectly fine, it’s just not a quality that I could sell, and I don’t have a use for it. As you can see, it has adorable snails on it.

See what a mess I made when I was trying to sew it? When it’s all closed up it looks good, I just struggled a bit too much here, haha.

So, if you would like:

  • This not-quite-perfect deck wallet
  • and some crystals!

Just reblog this post, and I will pick a winner to send these to! Rules, because I like rules:

  • International winners are welcome
  • don’t tag as giveaway
  • don’t reblog more than once a day cause that’s super annoying
  • only reblogs count
  • You have to have your ask box open
  • Only reblog if you actually want it okay?
  • I think that’s it.

We’ll let this last for a week. I will pick a winner on April 19th!


*deck not included*

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 11)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 928

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

A/N: This fic keeps getting longer, I apologize. :D 

Originally posted by sincerelysaraahh


The following morning, you were roused by Bucky, who was trying to move away from you. He was trying to be as quiet as possible, you were being moved out of your comfortable position and you weren’t shy to voice your discomfort. He gave a silent laugh.

“Sorry, I gotta use the bathroom,” he explained in a whisper, pulling his body out from beneath you and putting a cushion under your head. “I’ll be right back.”

Too sleepy to argue, you hummed and smiled up at him. “Mm-‘kay,” you muttered back, cozying up to the cushion.

Bucky gave you a soft smile, bending at the waist to give your forehead a gentle kiss. Once straightening up, he headed for the bathroom, taking his phone out of his pocket after a night of not checking it.

Keep reading

Some Pidge Headcanons

- Pidge is the kind of person who would rather try to find a free version of a program instead of actually paying for a program

    - Either that or she just makes her own program

         - Everyone would go to her so she could get them free stuff

- When she’s bored she just makes a fake profile on stuff like club penguin and neopets and just dick around with the system and trolls people

       - She’s been banned like 57 times on club penguin ALONE but she just works her way around the system

- Her interest in tech stemmed from wanting something on her computer but she can’t access it yet

        - “Dad, why can’t I find out what NASA is hiding from us?” “It all in their files, it’s confidential” “Oh really >:3c”

- Gaming becomes one of her favorite things, she was always interested in how it works

         - The main reason her sleep schedule is so messed up

- The relationship between her and Matt is like “I’m gonna call u an asshole and put pink hair dye in ur shampoo but I still love u with all my heart”

     - She’s definitely the kind of sister who comes in, leaves the door open and walks away

- Pranks are her thing, don’t mess w/ her

    - They’re always super elaborate and well-planned and she never gets caught

- She always secretly wanted shorter hair bc she didn’t want to deal with it

      - But people always used to say she looked like Matt so she didn’t want them to look even MORE alike

- Her interest in aliens and conspiracy theories started as a joke but then she fell down the rabbit hole

    - She saw all the evidence and people’s point of view and she was convinced that there were aliens out there and that the Zodiac Killer is Ted Cruz

              - You know alienmemes420? Yeah, that’s her on forums aggressively proving that her theory is right

                       - She actually came across Keith on one of these forums and even argued with him but she never knew his actual name

                                     - This skill actually came in handy because she was able to figure out the twist at the end of the season months before anyone else 

Suga Daddy: Part 8

Suga Daddy: 8

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: angst, dirty talk, language 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi tells you about his past but is terrified of how you’ll take it.

This came a little early than expected. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading.

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven 

Everything felt like it was playing out and slow-motion and all you were doing was twirling the flowers in your hand. You were nauseated and your mind was racing with every possible scenario. You knew that Yoongi couldn’t have a squeaky clean record. Especially with his attitude and the way he talked to you sometimes. For some reason you still loved him, despite that.

Keep reading

I don’t need you to fix me. I just want to know that you still care.Despite the mess I am. You are not here to heal the scars. 
See that I’m busy patching up this broken heart.Since I search everywhere for any debris,longing to heal what is dying.
I silently hope you’ll still want to love this chaotic soul and this miserable mind.Because I just need you to hold my hand . As I fix the chaos I’ve known. So I just want your love through out the storm.Please let me know I’m not alone.
Bruce as a grandpa

- You know with all his kids, legally his and those who are basically his, he is bound to have at least one grandchild if not more.

- Like he has retired from Batman and Tim and Damian basically took over all his duties at WE. Now he has all the free time.

- Also Alfred is totally a great-grandfather.

- Takes the time to spoil them. Not with material items but like games and treats.

- Selina is over often as well to hangout with the little rugrats.

- Finally gets the time to enjoy his family. He is super happy to see his kids getting treated the way they treated him all those years ago.

- The big dinning room table is in full use. There are high chairs and booster seats. Now instead of knives getting thrown it’s cheerios and vegetables that are to be watched for.

- Bruce loves to tell stories. Mainly of Superman or other League members’ embarrassing stories.

- Another wing of the manor has opened because as those kids grow, extra rooms are needed.

- Telling stories about his parents and stupid stuff all the kids did. (Bruce’s kids).

- The family members saying he needs to watch the kids for the night as an excuse to keep him out of the batcave. Old man still thinks he can keep up with thugs on the street. But at 60 plus he needs to take a break.

- When they are all over at once it’s complete and udder madness. The place is a mess, toys are everywhere, at least two blanket forts have been made, someone is still missing from hide and seek, and the Bruce is standing in the middle of this smiling because it’s his wonderful crazy family.

THE SIGNS AS ELECTRA HEART LYRICS

Aries: Think you’re gonna break my heart. Think you’re funny, think you’re smart. Yeah, you may be good looking, but you’re not a piece of art. - “Power and Control”

Taurus:  Yeah, I wish I’d been a, wish I’d been a teen, teen idle. Wish I’d been a prom queen fighting for the title. Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, feeling super, super suicidal. - “Teen Idle”

Gemini:  I guess you could say that my life’s a mess, but I’m still looking pretty in this dress. I’m the image of deception. - “Homewrecker”

Cancer:  Lies, don’t wanna know, don’t wanna know, oh. I can’t let you go, can’t let you go, oh. I just want it to be perfect, to believe it’s all been worth the fight. - “Lies”

Leo: Living life like I’m in a play, In the lime light I want to stay. I know I’ve got a big ego. I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal, though. - “Primadonna”

Virgo:  I never sang for love. I never had a heart to mend because before the start began, I always saw the end. Yeah, I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me, but nothing’s ever gonna give, I’ll never set you free. - “Starring Role”

Libra:  I’ll chew you up and I’ll spit you out ‘cause that’s what young love is all about. So pull me closer, and kiss me hard. I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart. - “Bubblegum Bitch”

Scorpio:  Born with a void, hard to destroy with love or hope. Built with a heart, broken from the start, and now I die slow. - “Valley of the Dolls”

Sagittarius:  When you’re around me, I’m radioactive. My blood is burning, radioactive. I’m turning radioactive. My blood is radioactive. My heart is nuclear, love is all that I fear. - “Radioactive”

Capricorn: And now I see, I see it for the first time, there is no crime in being kind. Not everyone is out to screw you over. Maybe, oh just maybe they just wanna get to know you. - “Fear and Loathing”

Aquarius: All my life I’ve felt it deep inside of me. All this time was fighting for what I believe. All my life I’ve tried to hide what history has given me. - “Sex Yeah”

Pisces:  All I really want is to be wonderful. People in this town they, they can be so cruel. I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep. If I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all. - “The State of Dreaming”

I know that Ethan’s not gonna hit a milestone for a lil while but I’ve been thinking about a plan to hold a meetup because I’ve seen it be done for Jack (like fofparty or bossweek) and it would be so cool to make it happen.

Not saying that I am super qualified to do it, (I might as well hand this idea over to someone else) But I’m just having a thought where it’s a simple hangout for celebrating Ethan hitting 300k using a tag since that’s how it is usually done. Posting stuff under it and just getting to know people, you know?

Idk if it would even go well when the time actually comes but I want to make it a possibility. I also maybe should message people about this who might be interested in helping me out.

So if you guys have any input on this at all please let me know cause I’m making a lot of considerations for it when he actually gets close to 300k :D

And if this just gets buried then honestly I’ll still go with it anyways, who knows this is just the basis for the idea.

Thanks for reading this mess regardless though! (if it even makes sense haha sorry i can’t word that well sometimes..)

anonymous asked:

Omg love your HCs!! They are all so cute!!!! >V< can u please do RFA +V and Saeran x MC first time holding hands? Like what would their reactions be?? Again LOVE your HCs!!! Omg bye!!~~

(THANK YOU ANON! I GOT YOU!)
~~~~~~~~
Zen:
• Honestly, it wasn’t very long in your relationship you started holding hands.
• Basically it was your first date.
• The both of you were just walking in the park together. Laughing, and getting to know each other.
• And my god you looked so perfect. He actually wanted to just kiss you. I mean, the sun was shining on your flawless skin, the wind blew stands of (H/C) hair in your face..it was breath taking.
• BUT HE KNEW THAT MIGHT GET WEIRD ON A FIRST DATE S O!!!!
• He slowly inched his hand down beside yours, and began interlacing your small, delicate fingers in his larger ones.
• hEBLUSHEDSOHARD, BUT MADE EYE CONTACT AND YOU JUST- WOAHMAN HEY WUDDUP AHA.
• After that, he never really likes going out in public without your hand in his.
~~~~~~~~~
707:
• This cheeky little sh-
• After he finally realized his true feelings for you, and stopping pushing everything and everyone away (anti-social much? Me too.)
• He asked you to go to a cat shelter with him.
• After all, Vanderwood didn’t say his partner couldn’t have a cat and just so happen to..bring it over. A lot.
• Does this count as your first date? Well, technically. You’ve hung out a lot, but never really anywhere but the parties and RFA members houses.
• “(Y/N)!!! This cat is just so cute! You should have it! I’ll even pay!”
• “Seven- I- I can’t take care of a cat?!”
• He B E G S.
• And for the first time, he gently grabs a hold of your hand, holding it tightly in his.
• He places a kiss on your cheek, and gives you the cutest little pouty face.
• At this point, you’re a blushing, awkward mess.
• “Uh-m uh..some soft hands you got there..”
• He smirks for a moment, before thinking of the dumbest thing he can say in that moment.
• “thanks, I use a lot of lotion. If you catch my dri-”
• “O K A Y SO LETS GET THE CAT AND SKADADDLE OKBYE NOW, FUNTIMES WOO.”
• But you never did seem to let go of his hand, the rest of the day, at least.
~~~~
Jumin:
• You would think it would take a while for him to get all..lovey dovey with you.
• But it was kind of a happy medium.
• So basically, it was the 4th-5th ‘date’
• Really doesn’t want to rush things. He’s a firm believer that love takes time.
• But when it happens, it’s actually kind of sweet.
• You’re lying on his couch, waiting for him to come back in with the breakfast he ‘couldn’t wait to make for you’
• He walks in the living room to check on you, smiling over at your resting figure.
• He can’t help but want to keep walking towards you.
• And soon, he can’t even control himself?
• “Jumin? What are you-”
• He picks you up, and sets you down in his lap, all whilst placing you hand in his.
• And he doesn’t even really say much. Other than he “felt like it” when questioned on what he was doing.
• This was cute, comfortable and all, but..
• “whats that burning smell??”
• “..Shi-”
~~~~~
Jaehee:
• okay this is so obvious but.
• coFFEE DATEEE!!!
• Or at least, on your way to.
• It’s a really cold morning, the two of you have been dating for a couple weeks now. So, you decided to bundle up, and grab some coffee.
• Now, she didn’t have gloves. You would think she would, but ohhoho, Nope she is not prepared.
• Thankfully, you have a trick up your sleeve. A smoothhhh move, this way it won’t be awkward to make the move. You go, (Y/N).
• You take off the glove on one of your hands, and hand it to her.
• At this point, she’s looking between you and glove, a bit confused.
• You then place your uncovered, warm hand in her freezing one.
• “What are you waiting for, silly? Put on the other glove~”
• You smooth mother-
• She’s a blushing mess, really. But she adores you.
~~~~~~
Yoosung:
• Sweetbbyboy
• he’s so innocent. He’s never even held hands.
• One day, you’re playing games with him at his place, and well…beating him.
• “How are you so good at this?!” Yoosung frustratedly says.
• “I guess I’m just a pro.”
• He gives you an 'o really’ look, with the intent of picking up his game.
• But he needed motivation.
• “if I win this next round, you have to hold hands with me the rest of the day. Minus when one of us needs to go to the restroom.”
• He still lost tho, lol.
• But, you couldn’t help but want your own prize.
• “how about we do it anyways?”
• HES SUCH A MESS.
• YOUR HAND IS SO!!! CUTE! AND SOFT! AND JUST!!!!! HE WANTS TO HOLD IT FOREVER!!!!
• Yes, you’re that couple.
• The one that is always painfully close and always holding the others hands.
• But he loves every minute of it. And so do you.
~~~~~
V:
• It was not long at allll before you help hands.
• Before he got eye surgery, he needed your “help” to get around. So, he wanted you to hold his hand and guide him around so he could get the things he needed to get.
• But he could actually see well enough.
• He just wanted to hold your hand.
• You had butterflies, he had butterflies, you two were honestly just lovey messes on the inside.
• But you loved it.
• (bonus)
• When he got the eye surgery, you had no idea. And he made you hold his hand again…however, something was off. It seemed he was bringing you along more than you were to him..
• “V- can you..”
• You were then cut off by none other than Jumin, who just so happened to be driving by.
• “V! How’d that surgery go?”
• gASP!
~~~~~~
Saeran:
• Okay so he was not getting physical ATTT ALLLL!!!
• And this kind of frustrated you.
• Yes, sweetie I know you’re bad with human interaction buT WE HAVE BEEN DATING ALMOST 2 MONTHS PLS LOVE ME.
• So, RFA helped you come up with a plan. A jealously plan.
• Yep, you were gonna try and get Saeran to get all jealous and protective over you. Maybe even get him to get a little closer.
• It started small, You’d have Yoosung start flirting a little with you in the group chat.
• Plan fails, and Saeran just leaves the chats with no word.
• You knew you had to step up the game.
• One day, you and Saeran go out for a walk around town, just casually talking with each other.
• When you 'coincidentally’ run into Zen just up ahead.
• “(Y/N)! Hey! You look cute today!”
• You weren’t expecting him to say that of all things, so you couldn’t help the tiny blush that appeared on your face.
• “Awh, tha-”
• This is when you felt your hand get tightly enveloped by another.
• Saeran was jealous.
• And unafraid to show it.
• “Looks like I’m interrupting a little date~ see you on he messenger, later! Have fun you two!”
• When Zen leaves, Saeran still doesn’t let your hand go.
• “You know..this is actually kind of..nice..” He awkward says.
• cuE HEART E X P L O S I O N
• ERROR (Y/N)
• YOU DID IT.
• From here on, he starts becoming more and more physically affectionate~ thank you, Zen!

Secrets

Requested. (This was a little bit difficult for me….hope it’s up to par D:)

Song or Quote : Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.
Who: Peter Parker

Peter sulked behind Tony who led them to an old diner that miraculously was still standing after everything the city had been through. He was dreading what was going to be said to him once they finally sat down. Peter had messed up, bad. Tony ordered a black coffee and a cherry turnover while Peter just stuck to a chocolate milk. He didn’t even want anything but Tony insisted he get something. The silence was painful and seemed like it was never going to end. 

After some time of watching Tony eat his turnover, Peter finally decided to break the painful quiet. “Look, Mr. Stark, I just, I need, I want to apologize for not being on my A game tonight.” 

Tony chewed for a minute, staring at the teenager before swallowing and deciding to respond back. “Mind telling me why I almost got my head ripped off and your body almost getting torn in half? This isn’t some game, kid. It’s real life and real life means real danger and real danger means broken bones and dead bodies. When I bring you along to these kinds of things, I bring you because I need you. Just because I’m Iron-man doesn’t mean I can do everything which is something you will never hear me say again.” 

Peter bit his lip, shaking his head. Trying to find the words to justify why his mind was not where it was supposed to be. Stuttering and tripping over his words, he bowed his head and mumbled, “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark. I, it’s, I, my-”

“-just stop.” Tony sighed, running a hand over his face, he inhaled deeply. This was a kid sitting in front of him, just a kid. A kid that was fortunate to have these abilities and unfortunate at the same time because he was stuck with them. Looking at Peter, he asked calmly, “Where was your mind at, kid? Why weren’t you focused?”

Peter refused to meet Tony’s gaze, he didn’t want to admit why he had been spacing out. Because, he knew that lives were at stake but the guilt of cancelling his date with [Y/N] for the fourth time in a row was eating away at him. He desperately tried to keep his crime fighting life as Spider-Man and [Y/N] separate. He didn’t want to put that burden on her, constantly being worried whether or not he was going to make it home or not. It wasn’t fair to cause stress when he could just avoid it and keep his Spider-Man life private. 

Sipping on his coffee, Tony sternly spoke. “If we’re going to be working together, we’ve got to be honest with one another.”

Again Peter didn’t respond, he just didn’t know how. 

“What was so damn important in that brain of yours that made you forget about your life for one split second?”

Peter toyed with his hands, shrugging his shoulders, getting frustrated with himself. “I don’t know, Mr. Stark. I just, I spaced. I know this is important and that I should always stay focused but, I just, I-”

“-Peter, listen to me, and you listen good. I see potential in you, please for the love of god don’t make me regret my decision.”

Peter frowned, looking down in his lap, he toyed with his fingers again. “I’m seeing this girl, [Y/N], Mr. Stark. I have been for awhile now and I kept it a secret because I don’t know, I want to keep my personal life for just me. And I don’t want to drag her into this life because well, she doesn’t need to be apart of it.” Looking up at Tony, Peter sighed. “I’m still a kid and I want to do kid things like go to school, see her in the hall and think to myself, ‘wow, she’s so beautiful,’ and then meet up with her at the lockers and talk about how her day has been going. Go on dates, have awkward moments on those said dates, struggle to find the words to say when I find out that I love her.” Peter ran both hands through his hair, “Tonight was the fourth night in a row that I’ve cancelled on her and I’m just afraid that she’ll leave me and I don’t want that because when I’m with her, I feel good. I feel great, actually. I feel normal, I feel like just a normal kid and it’s an escape from this double life I’m living-which don’t get me wrong, Mr. Stark, this life is nice too because I feel like I’m making a difference in this world but sometimes I just need a getaway and [Y/N] is my getaway. Wait…what are you doing?” 

Tony mumbled under his breath, “I may have bit off more than I can chew.” His focus was completely focused on his watch, his fingers were hovering over a holographic keyboard as he toyed with it. In seconds [Y/N] social media profile was hovering in the air, “Is this? This is the girl you’re seeing?” Tony seemed impressed, “She’s cute.” He looked up in time to find Peter’s horrified stare, ignoring it, he skimmed through her pictures and interests. “Very cute, aw, well isn’t this sweet. Is that the Statue of Liberty? It is, isn’t it. Hm, let’s see ‘Peter took me to see Lady Liberty today!’ Oh come on, man. You took her to see the Statue of Liberty for a date?” 

Still stunned that Tony had [Y/N]’s social in his hands, he swallowed. “Uh, yeah, she, uh, she’s always wanted to go and I thought, you know, I should, wait why are we talking about this right now?” He wanted to get off the topic of [Y/N]. There was a reason why he kept her from Tony despite knowing that he could easily get onto it. 

Waving his hand over the floating images, they vanished. Toying with the keyboard some more, another image popped up over his wrist. Swiping the images, he nodded in approval. “She’s a smart girl. All A’s and lookie here, she’s in three AP classes. How old are you again? How does she have the time for this and you? These are some impressive scores, probably the highest in your grade I take it. Let’s just see, oh look, she does with you being right behind her.” Waving his hand again to make them disappear, Tony leaned forward. “Okay, look, I get why you’re head over heels, puppy dog in love with her. She’s a cute, smart, very smart girl.” 

“Did you? Did you just hack into my school’s grading system to look at her grades?”

Waggling his finger, Tony narrowed his eyes. “Ah, no changing the subject and really? You have to ask? I’m Tony Stark, I could get into this rinky dink diner’s security system and shut it down.” Clearing his throat, “Listen to me, kid. Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good. You put your life at risk tonight because you were too busy worrying about her. But you know what, I get that, I get you want to protect her from this double life thing your living. I get it. But what you don’t understand is that keeping her from this, is only making it worse for you and her.” 

"I can’t just tell her I’m Spider-Man! She’ll freak out and if she freaks out, I’ll freak out. Her and Aunt May are very similar in their freaking out episodes. I have to keep it a secret.”

“You know, I’ve heard girls date men that resemble and remind them of their fathers but I’ve never heard boys dating girls that remind them of their really attractive aunts.” 

Peter narrowed his eyes, “I never said [Y/N] reminds me of Aunt May, I just said they freak out the same. But yes to some degree, I guess you could say they have similar qualities-but that’s besides the point! I am not telling her I’m Spider-Man.” 

Tony rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. “When you have someone that means this much to you, you want to protect them and only them. I’ve been there, kid. You want to make the world a better place for them but the thing is, is when you step foot into that suit. It’s not just about them, it’s about everyone. You have a responsibility to save as many people as you can. And when you’re all in love and what not, you lose sight of that responsibility. Prime example was tonight when we almost died.” 

“So I just what? Break up with her and suffer? Because I don’t think I can do that, Mr. Stark. If anything, it’ll make my concentration worse.”

“I’m not saying that. What I am saying is you have a responsibility to save as many lives as you can without losing your own. You’re young, you’ll find other [Y/N]’s, if not better ones.”

Peter squinted his eyes, shaking his head. “No, I won’t. There’s no one like [Y/N]. No one.” 

Tony half nodded, understanding the firm point the teenager had. Sighing, he rubbed his forehead, “This job isn’t easy and you’ve got a long way to go before these instincts start to feel like second nature.” Glancing out the window, his eyes caught sight of a familiar face among a crowd of kids about to step foot into the diner. “Word of advice, Parker? You should tell her what you’ve been up to. Because one thing I will say is that despite my distaste for love, that kind of girl is not the kind of girl you let slip away from your fingers over something so irritatingly silly as not telling her who you are and what you do.” Throwing down some money, he stood up and winked at Peter before saying, “Because a few years from now, I may scout her to work for me and that’d be so unbelievably awkward to work with her after you were an idiot in not telling her.” 

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Out the door to my lavish expensive penthouse where I can take a wonderful lavender bath.”

“Peter?”

Peter spun around, frozen in place to find [Y/N] standing behind him. Struggling to stand up, his knees banged the underside of the table before scrambling out of the booth. [Y/N]?! What, what are you doing here?” 

Raising a brow, she eyed Tony suspiciously, “I could ask you the same thing…”

Tony smiled, “You must be [Y/N], Peter has told me so much about you. Sorry about having him cancel on your date but I really needed to finish up some finishing details on his entry for the September Foundation.”

“At a run down diner?” She asked, not really believing in his lie.

“You know what, you, my sweet girl, are a lot smarter than I had been told.” Moving around her, he headed for the door. “Peter will telling you everything you need to know.” Winking before leaving the door, he chuckled to himself as he left Peter looking frantic and nervous. 

[Y/N] crossed her arms, “Peter, what is going on? I thought you said Aunt May wouldn’t let you go out tonight. And why the hell was Tony Stark in this diner with you? And, the September Foundation? What is he talking about?”

Sighing, he reached for her hand, “We need to have a long talk about all of those questions but not here.” 

[ to @newtscamamder ] salut elena, and happy happy happy birthday!!! it’s been entirely too long since i’ve talked to you, and even longer since i wrote something for you, so enjoy some spur-of-the-moment drarry headcanons <3

  • after the war, the first thing harry said to draco was at least a little surprising, if not worrying 
  • ”move in with me, malfoy”
  • ”no way in hell, potter”
  • apparently, there was a way in hell
  • a nervous draco showed up to the address harry had owled him months before and knocked softly
  • the door swung open to reveal a ruffled potter, who immediately smiled as he saw draco
  • “i was hoping you’d show up, draco”
  • two weeks later, they’re skirting around the apartment and acting as if they barely knew each other
  • which, of course, wasn’t true
  • harry was acutely aware that draco brushed his teeth with his left hand, but turned a book page with his right
  • and draco was intensely trying to ignore the fact that harry cleaned up every single mess in the house without ever bringing it up to the blond
  • two months later, they’re friendly
  • joking around about the years they spent in misplaced hatred
  • “still think you got a chance with the weaslette, potter?”
  • “only if that flower girl – what’s her name, peony? – would take you off my hands”
  • quietly, they grew closer and closer
  • close enough to lay on top of each other
  • and jokingly flirt
  • and sometimes not jokingly flirt
  • after their first year, harry took draco to a christmas at the weasleys
  • “they’re my family, and i wouldn’t want to just leave you at home”
  • it was awkward and shifty
  • until molly took draco into the biggest bear hug and whispered “i’ll go knit you a sweater”
  • draco wouldn’t admit it, but he had tears in his eyes
  • after that, draco and harry were practically inseparable
  • the only way one could tell they weren’t actually together is by seeing that they weren’t hold hands
  • until one day, they did
  • maybe it was draco that grabbed harry’s hand, or harry grabbed draco’s
  • neither of them knew who made the first move
  • they never mentioned that moment
  • or the little sparks that flew whenever their fingers touched
  • but it was always on the back of their minds
  • and then, it was always in front
  • then it was on the tip of their tongues
  • and one night, tipsy draco told even tipsier harry
  • “i want to hold your hand all the time”
  • granted, it wasn’t the most articulated thought that draco ever had
  • but it was enough to get the point across
  • and enough to ignite the flame in harry’s heart and make harry’s eyes shine
  • harry reached over and grabbed draco’s hand
  • neither of them let go.
Jason’s telling the Bellarke story, and it’s romantic.

*I’ve never written meta or spec or anything like that before, I am a known shitposter, but I had a lot on my mind so just stay with me while I attempt this.

Ok guys, I know the finale has us all drowning in our tears and the looming hellatus has us quivering in our boots, but I am here to offer a bit of Blarke hope.

Jason is writing romantic Bellarke. It’s in the story, and after the finale and his recent interviews I am more confident than ever. He might hate us, and want to torture us, and stretch this slow burn out as long as humanly possible, but he’s telling the a story and Bellarke is at the center of it. 

Now to my “evidence” or whatever:

The Writing

Let’s take a look at our most iconic Bellarke episodes over the last couple of years and also look at who wrote those episodes, focusing on two writers in particular: the show runner, and the man he was ready to hand over the reigns to.

  • 2x16: the iconic “together” moment, and the entire good-bye scene (Jason)
  • 3x02: Bellamy losing his shit, going after Clarke, the cave scene, “WE CANT LOSE CLARKE” (Aaron and Wade)
  • 3x15: “I trust you”, “You’re not the only one trying to save someone you care about.” “START WITH BELLAMY BLAKE” (Aaron and Wade)
  • 4x01: oh boy, “Thanks for keeping me alive”, Bellamy losing his shit both times Echo threatens Clarke’s life, the very intentional cut to Bellamy’s face when Clarke talks about /exa, the return of “princess” (Jason)
  • 4x12: roadtrip flirting, worried Bellamy as Clarke takes off her helmet, the blarke of it all (Aaron and Wade)
  • 4x13: the hug, the face caress that haunts my dreams, the entire head and the heart discussion, “I’ve got you for that”, “I left her behind”, Clarke radioing Bellamy every single day for 2199 days (Jason)
    • *yes I know other moments like the s2 reunion hug, the s3 beach hug, and the list episode were by other writers, but that’s not my focus

Are you seeing the pattern here? Either Jason or Aaron/Wade write the most important Bellarke scenes of each season. We have the biggest known Blarke writer on staff (imo) and the actual show runner responsible for these treasures. 

THEN, you add the fact that Jason was ready to let Aaron take over, if his other pilot got picked up. He trusted Aaron, a known Blarke stan, to continue the story he was telling. Isn’t that suspicious? 

But just think, our 2 biggest Bellarke episodes were written by Jason.

Planning

So we’re all aware that Jason says he knows where he wants the show to go for about 6 seasons - even if I still think 3a was a mess and not the original storyline for reasons. He has planned out how this show ends and he’s had that ending since he started. 

He wouldn’t be responsible for writing such iconic (romantic) Bellarke moments and interweaving that into the plot if it didn’t go anywhere. The man is trash and I wouldn’t trust him to buy my groceries, but he knows what he’s doing and he knows how to tell a story, even if he gets it twisted sometimes. He knows where to starts and how to end - which is why he writes the first and last episode of every season.

Their Story

“First of all, Bellamy and Clarke have always been at the center of this show. It has always been the story of — on some level — Clarke and her relationship to Bellamy. […]” -Jason Rothenberg

I think we’ve all learned to take Jason’s interviews with a grain of salt, but he knows what story he’s telling.

The show is about them. He is writing their story, and he has been from the beginning. Which is all especially evident when you look at the S1 script leaks that blessed us this year, and what was cut out, aka DAY TRIP. 

It’s been them from the start and it’s been romantic from day one. 

Anyway, This was my first shitty attempt at meta or spec or whatever and probably my last, but I think it’s just important to realize what’s going on despite how shitty Jroth is, he’s telling a certain story. 

But add on to this if you want. Thanks!

3

Clexa Week 2017 - Day 6 - Friends to Lovers.

Childhood Sweethearts Au

Drabble by @danagrint

“Do you remember that time when we were 7 years old and you wrote that card saying "you are my sun my moon and all my stars”? If I had to choose the point where it starts, I’d say it was then. But it took me years to realize. It’s not as bad as it sounds. You were my best friend, do you remember that time when we decided to wear matching weird socks for a month? I still don’t know what we were thinking, but I’m glad for all the crazy things I did with you, and for you. I’m glad that I don’t have to tell you about everything I went through, because you were there living it with me. Then college came and it was weird, because for the first time I realized that maybe our best friends forever bubble was just a childhood fantasy. New people, new places, new dreams. I still remember the afternoon when things changed. Raven was driving, Octavia was there too. And you were looking out of the window, and in this moment, I wanted to kiss you. I looked at you and I felt that pull, I wanted to feel your lips, I just… I tried to stay away. I thought I was crazy, or lonely, or it was just something about your new glasses that made you more attractive. I don’t know. I was afraid of what I felt or might feel close to you. What I could end up doing. I didn’t want to mess up what we had. I started dreaming with things I never thought I’d want to do with you. I’ve known you all my life, but I realized that there was still much to learn about you. Rediscover our memories, your body and all the little spots on your skin. And then you kissed me. You kissed me, Lexa, and you became my sun, my moon and all my stars.“

Time For Bed

Originally posted by jaerins

Time For Bed
Rated: Mature
[Talking Christian into going to bed was harder than you thought]

Got a request from silexia and I thought it was super cute so here you go~ My first Christian Yu scenario~

You hated to say it, but you were happy when Christian stopped being an idol. That lifestyle was so hard on you both. The hectic work schedule, the traveling, the late night practices. It was all awful.

But he’d found a new love and passion. Editing and directing seemed to be his calling and you supported every waking moment of it. But just like his previous job, you found him staying up all night working on it.

You came home from work mid-day to find your boyfriend hard at work editing Live’s new MV, and here it was well past midnight and Christian had barely even moved. He probably wouldn’t have even eaten if you hadn’t brought him food.

Getting him to stop was going to be no easy feat. You’d been trying to for the last couple hours, and he’d always just say “Just a few more minutes Babe. I’ll be right there”

“Christian?” you knocked on his office door, poking your head inside. “I made you some tea”

He turned around giving you a tired smile, the dark bags more and more noticeable under his eyes “Thanks, Babe” he removed his headphones accepting the tea. “I just got to finish up a few more scenes and then I’ll be off to bed. Ok?” he smiled into your touch, kissing your hand. You didn’t even have to ask to be rejected anymore.

“Alright…Not too late ok?”

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Mirror For The Sun - Part 6: Mt. Rushmore

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 5  -  Part 7

Summary: (Bucky POV) Nat tricks you into leading a road trip with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Her plot is partly to get the boys to travel for fun for once but mostly to get you and Bucky together. You and Bucky, who seemingly despise each other.

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 3692

Author’s Note: Okay team, I love-hate South Dakota. I think that shows in this part. XD I hope you like it anyway. Fun factoid, so far I have been everywhere in this fic that I am taking you all, and by the end there is only one place that I’ll not have described from experience.

Originally posted by wanderluxx

I woke early this morning and made my way to the kitchen, Steve was already up, wolfing down a protein bar and preparing for a run. Not quite ready for conversation and definitely not interested in a run on my first vacation in years, I slipped silently past him onto the elevated deck that wrapped around much of the cabin Y/N had managed to find and rent for us. I have to admit after 14 hours of driving yesterday alone, most of those hours contentious and stressful, this cabin with plenty of room for the four of us to spread out is a much-needed reprieve.

As much as I hate to admit it, Nat knew exactly what she was doing convincing Y/N to map out this trip. She knows exactly how far is too far a drive for one day, when we all need space or when it’s okay to tough it out and share a small hotel. Just now the space and the quiet is a welcome change from the hot, overcrowded amusement park or the busy city streets.

I check my watch and know the sun must be coming up, but looking out from the roughly hewn pine railing, all I see are tall, dark evergreens covering the rippling hills in front of me. I can’t even see another house from here. The morning air is cold on the back of my neck since I’ve tied my hair to calm it, so I flip my hood up over my head and turn with a start when I hear her soft voice. “It’ll warm up soon.”

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