but i still remember how much i cried here

anonymous asked:

"Sorry, were you sleeping?"

Harry had been gone for a few weeks in LA, meeting with different writers and working in the studio. I, however, was stuck in London without him.

“Hello?” I smiled at the sound of his sleepy voice on the other line as I shrugged out of my coat and tossed my keys onto the side table in the hallway that Harry had insisted we didn’t need.

“Hey, sleepy head.”

“Mmmm, g’mornin’, love.” He paused and I could practically see him stretching his long limbs in my head, “S’pose it’s not morning for you though, huh?”

“You would be correct, it is 5 PM here.”

“Just getting in from work then, yeah?”

I smiled at his complete memorization of my schedule, “Indeed, I am.”

“How was your day?”

“It was alright, it’s raining here.”

“Wow that’s some amazing news, never would’ve guessed that.” He teased.

I laughed and then sighed, “I miss you.”

“Miss you too, only one more week though, love.”

I ran a hand through my hair, closing my eyes, trying to imagine he’s next to me rather than half a world away. “One more week.” I whisper. “How’s thee studio going?”

I could hear the excitement in his voice as he talked about the new music and it made my heart swell. After about a half hour of talking (mostly listening on my part) I frowned at the sound of wind in the phone, “Babe? Are you outside?”

“Yeah, um, listen I have to go, alright? I’ll try and call you later when I’m at lunch to say goodnight. I love you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying not to feel the disappointment, “Okay, love you.”

I sighed as the line went dead and with nothing else to do, I tied my hair up and started working on dinner, opening a bottle of wine as I did so. I remembered buying it with Harry when he was still here. We were supposed to drink it together on the date night that was promised weeks ago but was always pushed aside for other commitments.

I sighed as I finished making dinner, realizing I made enough for two out of habit and I nearly cried right there. He didn’t know just how much I missed him, how lonely I felt when he was gone. I tried to hide it from him because it wasn’t his fault, he had to work. And if I was being honest, maybe I was being a little dramatic because he usually did work from home. But the house still felt too empty when he was gone, impossibly big, and the bed practically swallowed me up without his long limbs taking up two-thirds of it.

I showered and crawled into bed in one of Harry’s shirts that still smelled vaguely like him. I knew as the time passed with my phone in my hand that he wasn’t calling me. My phone slipped out of my hand onto the floor as I slipped into sleep.


I was sleeping, but some part of my mind registered the door of the house opening, but ignored it. I heard the door of our bedroom open, but ignored it. I ignored the sound of a bag falling to the floor and boots being kicked off.

But then the bed shifted, and someone was jumping up and down on the mattress, making my body jolt violently. I groaned and began to open my eyes, “What the—“

The bed stopped moving and as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I saw Harry’s silhouette looming over me. “Sorry, were you sleeping?” That impossibly cocky grin on his face as he stared down at me.

It took my mind a few moments to process, my brain working through the fog of sleep, but it was Harry. Harry was really here. I finally screamed his name and jumped up, tackling him to the bed and kissing him all over as he laughed, his arms wrapped around me fiercely, just as unwilling to let me go as I was him.

“You said… You said one more week.”

He kissed me before answering, “Missed you too much, decided to come home early. I wanted to surprise you.”

I thought back to our conversation earlier, “The wind…”

He smirked, “I was boarding the plane.”

I shook my head, grabbing a pillow and hitting him over the head with it, “You sneak!” I accused.

He laughed, “You don’t wanna do that, love.” He gestured to the pillow.

I quirked an eyebrow, “Oh really?” And hit him with it again.

His smile remained, but his voice was low and dangerous as he said, “I’m warning you.”

“What’re you gonna do?” I stood up on the bed and took a swing at his stomach. He caught it against his body and with a tug brought me down on the bed next to him, beginning to hit me with the pillow as well as I laughed uncontrollably. “Okay, okay!” I squealed, “I give up, I give up, you win.” He sinks down to his knees beside me on the bed and sweeps the hair out of my face. “Hotels are really lonely when you’re not there to have a good pillow fight with me.”

I smirked, “I can imagine.” I pulled him by the shirt until he was kissing me again. I sighed against his mouth, “I can’t believe you’re home.”

He kissed me again quickly, “Can’t get rid of me that easily, love. You’re stuck with me.“


chase the dark clouds away

Read on AO3 here!

The first thing Tooru sees when he wakes up his that all-too familiar pair of brown eyes.

He blinks slowly, his vision hazy. He reaches out to the side for his glasses, but they’re not where he usually leaves them on his nightstand.

In fact… his nightstand isn’t where it usually is. What’s going on-

“Hey, Tooru. Here.”

Hajime’s voice interrupts his train of thought, and he looks back up at his face. Tooru doesn’t need his glasses to see his favourite smile in the world. It lights up Hajime’s face, and Tooru nods and accepts them. He presses them up on his face, blinking a few times to get acclimatized.

He looks around at the white walls, white curtains, white bed sheets-

Oh, right.

He’s in the hospital.

He gazes down at his leg, which is wrapped up tightly, elevated up off the bed. It doesn’t hurt, but the dull ache in his arm from the IV is probably to thank for that.

But… it’s okay.

Tooru looks up to see Hajime grinning down at him, standing just beside his bed. His best friend reaches for his hand, and their fingers press together with familiarity.

His hands are warm.

What’s he have to be scared of, when Hajime is right here with him?

“Hey…” Tooru starts, but his throat feels dry and scratchy. He swallows once, and tries again. “Hajime… hi.”

Hajime squeezes his hand. “Hey, sleepyhead. My mom told me you’ve been sleeping since your surgery.” Hajime brushes a hand through Tooru’s hair, which he’s sure is a mess, but the soft touch is welcome. Tooru doesn’t usually let him touch him like this - it’s too embarrassing, too close , too soft - but he’s tired and compliant right now so he doesn’t fight it. Tooru closes his eyes and leans into it, so Hajime repeats the motion, soft and careful. “Have you seen the doctor yet? I should probably go get them-”

“No!” Tooru interrupts, tightening the grip on Hajime’s hand, opening his eyes again. “Don’t leave.” Hajime stares down at him, so Tooru continues. “Just… not yet, okay?”

“Okay.” Hajime offers him a smile. “How are you feeling?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I was reading the headcanon tags and saw that one about overprotective Marco, and I had this idea where tom and Marco are at his (tom's) house and his dad starts being a dick to tom to the point that he forgets Marco is here and start beating tom. Then Marco beats the shit out of him for ever daring to treat his demon like this, while yelling at him that he should treat his son with respect or something... think you could do a fanfic like this?

Of course I can! This was so much fun to write! I worked really hard on it and had a really nice time making it. I’m not sure if it sucks or not, but I hope it doesn’t. I think it’s good but I feel like you guys might hate it. IDK, trigger warning. abuse/violence

Marco sat near his boyfriend and the two smiled at each other, they were laughing happily with each other about just seeing one another again. “I’m so happy you decided to come see me today!” Tom grinned. “It’s gotten lonely here for a while.” He frowned. Marco tilted his head and gave the demon a kiss.

“Why have you been here alone? You could have just teleported over to see me.” Marco suggested. Tom frowned and shook his head.

“No, my dad was upset with me, so he doesn’t want me leaving.” Tom responded. “So he’s been keeping me here for a few weeks.” He explained. This confused Marco. How could somebody keep a person in their home?

“How exactly?” Marco asked.

“Oh it’s called a restricting hex.” Tom explained. “It puts limits on not just my supernatural abilities, but my physical ones as well. I can’t fly, teleport, make a flame, and I’ll start to get really weak if I leave my house. I don’t really have the energy to get about. And i I leave the atmosphere of the underworld, the fire and warmth and such, I’d probably start getting sick.” Tom made a face. He’s tried it before.

Marco tucked his hair behind his ear and tried to think of a situation where that sort of thing was acceptable. “I don’t… I don’t think you should have to go through that.” Marco mumbled. Tom looked up curiously, and then smiled warmly.

“Oh no, it sounds worse than it is, I promise.” Tom assured. This made Marco feel a little better about his boyfriend’s situation. “As long as I stay in my room and don’t act out of line, I’ll be fine!” Tom chirped. Marco went back to worrying after he said that.

“What do you mean by that?” Marco asked. “Does your dad have control over it? The hex I mean.” Marco added. Tom nodded.

“Yeah… he can make it cat up if I start to act out of line.” He said this part a little warily but then snapped back. “But it’s a good thing! I deserve punishment if I act how he doesn’t approve. He’s my father, I should do what he says.” Tom explained. Marco didn’t like this at all. He didn’t like this odd side of his demon tat seemed so… brainwashed! Marco could tell the things Tom was saying scared him, but he wasn’t accepting or seeing it.

“Tom, that’s not-” Marco wanted to explained this to Tom, but he cut off when the demon gasped and his ears pointed up sharply.

“Marco!” He gasped in a hushed tone. “Oh no, you have to hide!” Tom pushed Marco to the closet and shut the door.

“Tom? What’s happening?” Marco asked. Tom shushed him.

“Shhh! He’s coming! He’ll be angry if he sees you!” Tom didn’t give much information, but Marco put a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet. He looked through the cracks in the door and saw a large man enter Tom’s room. Tom cowered in front of him like a tiny bug as he came closer. “D-dad, what y-you doing h-here?” Tom forced out.

“Speak clearly, you sound fearful and weak.” The king demanded. “Show weakness, and rebels may try and take you out. And I may just let them.” He threatened. Tom gulped and stood up straighter.

“Yes sir.” He forced himself to speak connectedly. “Why are you here?” Tom repeated.

“You’ve disobeyed me.” The king snarled. Tom’s eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. Marco, who was still watching, began to feel nauseous at the sight of how scared his demon was becoming. He wanted to go out and offer him some sort of support, but stayed put, remembering Tom’s urgency.

“No!” Tom cried. “I-I-I swear! I’ve been here the whole time!” Tom promised. His father grabbed Tom by the ear and lifted him off of the ground.

“You have gone to earth again! I know you have!” He screamed at the much smaller demon, he then threw his son onto the ground. Tom choked up and Marco had to cover his mouth again in order not to let out a cry.

“No! I swear! I didn’t!” Tom was almost near tears and shaking like a leaf as the king came closer. He grabbed his son again and lifted him up. Marco gasped when he saw the gigantic demon slug the smaller one across the face and throw him down to the floor.

Tom looked at the king fearfully and closed his eyes tight. He was waiting for him to hit him again, but something worse happened. “STOP!” Marco screamed. Tom opened his eyes and gasped when he saw Marco grab the king’s arm and pull him away from Tom.

“Marco, no!” Tom cried, not wanting the violence to turn onto his human. Marco ignored Tom’s cry and stared up at the king with a look of rage.

“I do not care who you are, the king of the underworld, the king of hell, or the fucking king of burgers, YOU DO NOT HURT YOUR KID!” Marco yelled, shoving the man back. Tom gasped at this minor motion. Marco was way too small in comparison to actually hurt the man, but even raising a hand to him was something Tom would never even dream of seeing.

“Tink for a moment about who you are instigating.” The king narrowed his eyes. Marco growled.

“Oh, I know, and I do not care.” Marco assured. “Tom is a dear, he’s wonderful, and he deserves your respect. A child should never, EVER fear their parent, you don’t DESERVE to be a parent.” Marco raged. The king grabbed Marco by the collar and lifted him up, but Marco showed no fear. “You hurt him to make yourself feel stronger, but you aren’t, you’re weak and you’re pathetic!” Marco yelled, kicking his feet.

The demon king’s eyes went totally black and he bared his sharp teeth. He began to speak in a disoriented voice. “You speak of fear like you know.” He hissed, Marco saw black flames coming from his feet. “ArE YOu ReADy tO FaCE TRuE fEAr?” He dared.

Tom clapped a hand over his mouth, he was done being afraid, he wanted to help his Marco.

Before the king could do something, the unexpected happened, the king freeze with confusion.

Marco started laughing.

He then looked up at the devil king and narrowed his eyes, giving a smug look. “Are you?” He asked. The devil king then dropped Marco once he heard a noise behind him. He whipped around and saw Hekapoo standing in the door followed by Lekmet and Rhombulus. Marco grinned at Tom who was holding the dimensional scissors. He had cut a portal open to Heckapoo’s dimension so she and the high commission who were gathered at the time, had seen everything.

“Lucifer!” Heckapoo yelled. “You know very well the harm of an outworld citizen is prohibited. And what’s worse, you used an outlawed restricting hex on your own son.” She read the charges. Lucifer was about to fight but Rhombulus crystallized him before he could say anything, then transported him to his home.

Hekapoo turned to look at the kids and smiled. “Thank you for calling me, Tom.” She smiled. “Now we have proof of everything we suspected about him.” She explained, and walked closer to Tom. “Now we have the authority to help you.”

Tom looked at Marco in shock. “Why-why would you do all that?” He whispered. “He could have killed you!” Tears began to well up in Tom’s eyes and Marco held him close. “Why would you do that!?” Tom blubbered.

“I had to protect you.” Marco hushed him.

“Don’t do that next time!” Tom cried. Marco shook his head and hushed the demon.

“Oh Tom, I could never let you suffer. I love you too much to let you get hurt, and watch somebody hurt you.” Marco explained. More tears began to fill Tom’s eyes and he sobbed, being held by the human boy.

“It’s all my fault, I almost LET you get hurt.” His voice was shaky. Marco shook his head and gave Tom a kiss, trying to calm him.

“No, sweetie, no of course not.” Marco soothed. “You saved me, you called them here and saved me, and yourself.” he reminded. “You are so strong.” He whispered to the demon. Tom felt more tears well up in his eyes, and he clutched Marco close.

“I made it.”

Surprise Party- Chanyeol Scenario

A/N: Hey everyone! This was by request. no smut this time but lots of angst to be prepared. It broke my heart writing this but I hope you guys like it!!! Thank you to the anon that sent in the request! -Admin A

It was finally time. Chanyeol’s birthday was right around the corner and I was planning a huge surprise party.

This was a much bigger challenge than I had originally anticipated. Between finding the venue, buying the decorations, the cake, the food, it was a very daunting task.

Not to mention the fact that I had to not only make sure the members kept their mouths shut, but I had to do all of this in secret so Chanyeol wouldn’t find out.

I loved my boyfriend, but he was super protective of me and that made it incredibly difficult to sneak around behind his back.

I had to take calls in the bathroom, sneak away to meet up with caterers and venues before finding the right one, and all of the decorations were hidden in my trunk. I was lucky enough to have some of the members help, especially Jongin.

He was so excited to help, especially since Chanyeol helped plan his birthday party this year.

We had met up on a few occasions, and this time was no different. We were at a nearby coffee shop in dimly lit corner. It was late evening, so we didn’t anticipate anyone trying to find us here.

We talked about the last minute details, who was keeping Chanyeol busy that day, who could help decorate, and who was picking up the cake.

We decided it would be a good idea to have Sehun keep him busy and take him to the arcade while the remaining members helped decorate. I would pick up the cake and make sure the caterers got there on time.

I would usually have Baekhyun keep him busy, but he’s been having a tough time keeping the secret as is, and if he got too excited he may blurt it out accidentally.

We had just finished all of the planning when we saw Chanyeol walk past the shop. He looked into the store windows and I quickly ducked. My hand flew up to Jongin’s head and I pushed his head down gently, making him duck as well.

I was hopeful that he didn’t recognize us, but I wasn’t sure. I peered around Jongin and watched Chanyeol as he shook his head and continued walking.

“That was close. Go figure the last day we meet and he’d almost spot us” I said, rubbing my temples.

“You’re not kidding. This has been stressful enough. The last thing we need is him catching on to what we’re doing” he sighed, taking the last sip of his tea.

We hugged each other and said our goodbyes and I headed home. I opened the door to the apartment and Chanyeol was sitting on the couch watching TV.

His demeanor was much different than usual. He would usually greet me happily and stand up and give me a hug and a kiss, but it seemed like he was ignoring me. I walked up to him and sat next to him on the couch and it looked like he had been crying. His eyes were red and a bit puffy and his nose was running.

“Baby what’s the matter? What happened?” I asked, trying to touch his face.

He recoiled at my touch and shook his head, refusing to talk to me.

“What the hell Chanyeol? You’re never like this. What’s going on?” I question.

This time his eyes well up with tears and he finally replies, staring blankly at the TV.

“I don’t know, why don’t you go fucking ask Jongin.” He spat.

“OH MY GOD. So you saw us then, at the coffee shop.” I sigh, my shoulders slumping slightly.

“Of course I fucking saw you, I watched you push his head down and watched you duck, I saw you peek around the corner to see if I saw you two. I saw all of it.” He said, swallowing hard.

“I can’t believe what I saw though, you and Jongin. I never thought you’d be seeing someone behind my back. I thought I was enough.” Chanyeol uttered, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“You never thought I’d WHAT? WAIT! You think I’m… We’re.. OH MY GOD NO. NO NO NO. Jesus Chanyeol You honestly think I’d cheat on you?? Do you not trust me?” I asked, tears filling my own eyes this time.

“I don’t know. I thought I did, now I can’t be sure. It all adds up, the bathroom phone calls, sneaking around behind my back, not telling me where you’re going, now this. It just, makes sense.” He said, still refusing to look at me.

“Chanyeol, you should know by now that you’re the only person for me. FOREVER. I would NEVER ever mess around on you behind your back, and with Jongin of all people. You DO realize that he’s like a little brother to me right? I love him to death but that’s just.. no. that’s never happening.” I explained. He finally looked at me, but only for a moment.

He shook his head and stood up. “I don’t know what to believe. I can’t talk about this right now, I’m going to bed. I love you, but I just can’t keep my thoughts straight right now” He mumbled, wiping his eyes.

He didn’t hug me, didn’t kiss me, didn’t tell me goodnight. None of it. I decided maybe it would be a better idea if I just slept in the spare bedroom, so I headed in there and cried myself to sleep. It wasn’t that I did anything wrong, I know I didn’t. I just couldn’t stand thinking about how much he was hurting and that I caused it.

I woke up in the guest bed, confused for a moment. The scenes from last night replayed in my head and I remembered why I was in here. I still felt horrible that Chanyeol thought I was cheating with Jongin, but I was hopeful that after today, it would all come to light.

I peeked into our shared bedroom and noticed Chanyeol was sound asleep, clinging to his favorite Rilakkuma plushie. He usually only cuddled with him when he was sad, so I wasn’t surprised to see him snuggled into it. Honestly, I’m just glad to see him resting after everything that happened last night.

I closed the door quietly and continued with my morning. I quickly got a shower and got ready and made us both breakfast.

I knew he would be getting a call from Sehun soon to go to the arcade, so I made him a plate and placed it at his usual spot on the kitchen table. I texted Sehun to tell him to make sure Chanyeol goes with him at all costs, even if that means dragging his ass out of the house kicking and screaming.

Today needs to go as planned. He must show up to his own surprise party.

I jotted down a quick note and placed it on the kitchen table next to his food. It read:

Chanyeol (Baby)

I have a lot to do today and had to leave early. I’m so sorry about last night.

Here’s your breakfast, it may need microwaved a little depending on how soon you get up.

I love you and I’ll see you later. Please believe what I told you last night. I meant it.

I love you and ONLY YOU.


I looked around the room once more, making sure I had everything before I grabbed my keys and headed out the door to meet the members at the venue.

We quickly started decorating, and after a few hours and many complaints from the other members, we were finally done. The caterers had arrived and were getting everything set up, and I had just returned from getting his cake.

Guests were starting to arrive, and Baekhyun, Minseok and Junmyeon kindly helped them to their seats. Everyone else was helping me oversee the caterers and making sure that Sehun was on his way.

“Sehun texted me. they’ll be here in two minutes.” Junmyeon said, smiling with excitement.

I quickly thanked him and got all of the guests to duck down as Jongdae turns off the lights. A few minutes pass and I see the door open and I could hear Chanyeol’s complaining.

“Aish Sehun, why would you bring me here. It’s dark and I can’t see anything” He groans, unaware of the situation in front of him.

Jongdae flicks on the lights and everyone jumps up and yells.

“SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” They all shout. Chanyeol is startled more than we all anticipated and rubs the left side of his chest with his right hand, breathing heavily.

He takes a moment to calm down before finally realizing that the surprise party was for him and he’s all smiles. I watch him as he makes his rounds to the guests, thanking them each individually for coming.

It felt so good to see him happy but at the same time, I was nervous after everything that happened last night. I watch him as he hugs all of the members, then approaches Jongin.

His expression drops when he sees him, but after a brief conversation he hugs him and smiles. I felt a little bit better about the situation after that, but I needed to hear from Chanyeol myself that everything was okay.

I was a bit zoned out, thinking about everything that’s been going on, between the planning and everything from yesterday, when I heard someone saying my name.

I shook my head and looked over to see Chanyeol calling me and waving a hand in front of my face.

I gave him a little half smile while trying to gauge how he was feeling. His face was expressionless, so it was near impossible to know what he was thinking.

He cleared his throat and began to speak.

“I-ah. I.. I’m sorry. I talked to Jongin and he told me everything. That you had planned this months ago, why you were sneaking around, why you were meeting up with him, all of it. I feel like an idiot. I can’t believe I ever thought you’d cheat on me. I’m so so sorry. Do you think you could forgive me?” He asked, looking like he was about to cry.

“Chanyeol, please don’t be sad. I know it looked bad but we did all of this for you because we love you so very much. I’ll forgive you, although there’s really nothing to forgive. You reacted how most people would’ve in that situation. I’m so sorry I put you through that. I know you must’ve been devastated. I’m just glad you know what was really going on. I love you so much. I just need you to know that and that you’re the only person I’ll ever be in love with.” I replied, hugging him tightly.

He quickly hugged me back, tightening his grip on me and not letting go. I felt a few wet spots on my shoulder as his tears fell, but when he pulled back from the hug, he was smiling widely.

“Thank you so much for all of this. Everything was perfect, and I genuinely had no idea. You even got my favorite cake!!! I love you so much. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.” He said before cupping my face and kissing me gently.

I still couldn’t believe we pulled it off.

Hope (Part 3)

Originally posted by myachaelclifford

Ever since my first breakdown we’ve been Living in the hospital. and that fucking sucks. 

But what sucks, even more, is that it’s already been approximately a month since I last saw my lovely home and I miss it a lot. it’s already the second cycle and I am not doing great! same old same old, just another 3 weeks of fainting randomly, being extremely sick, throwing up everything and everywhere and last but not least having people to take care of me every time, which is not fun at all.  

and Even though I miss my apartment more than ever, and it’s been approximately two weeks since i last saw the sun (Wish is pretty depressing) today is a happy day, after so many time of not seeing such a familiar face, Liz (Luke’s mother) is coming to visit for a couple of weeks and i couldn’t be more excited about it, Luke on the other side was pretty stressed and it was a bit hard to hold on to. 

“What are you saying?” i ask removing the phone from my ear after Luke groaned something that i could barely understand. 

“The flight is fucking delayed” he says louder and roll his eyes, sitting at the edge of the hospital bed “Why? why does it have to happen today?’  

“Calm down” i chuckle, pulling the phone over my ear again.

for the 20th time of the day i’ve trying to call my nana, better known as the woman who took care of me since i was a little baby on that foster home in Sydney, she is basically like my mother and i couldn’t miss her any more than i am now, ever since i got sick i’ve trying to communicate with her as much as possible but sometime she was too busy or it was too late to call, and now that it was the perfect timing, something was messing up with the lines. 

“Nana is not picking up the phone” i pout looking at my frustrated boyfriend.

“Babe, is like 10 pm in Sydney she must be sleeping by now” he groans rubbing on his face “My fucking mom is going on that plane at like 4 am, and gets here at like 10pm the next day i really don’t know how i am going to pick her up at the airport” he continues with his problem.

“let her take a taxi” i shrug putting the phone aside and trying to call again. 

“no” he says almost immediately “if i could just escape for 40 minutes of studio hours i would do it, but  those motherfuckers always-” 

“Luke” i stop him stretching my leg a little and giving a little push, honestly calm down a bit, geez” 

he groans and leans on his place, landing his head on my lap so now my fingers were snaking around his scalp. “My mind is rushing” he mumbles, I can almost feel his tension going away just a little bit when my hand brushes his hair. “i need a drink and i need to quit my job and i need to get my mom at the airport” 

“You stress too much” i say softly “and you are overreacting, you don’t need to quit your job, dummy, you are just stressed because now studio hours are kinda late” 

“Yeah” he says like it’s pretty obvious “it is so annoying having to go work and then! i’ll have to go to the airport in the freaking night!” he says sounding a bit mad “do you know how much i hate leaving you here alone for so many hours?” 

“i am literally on the safest place i can be” i chuckle softly, taking my phone up to my ear, dialing Nana once again. 

“Last time i left to alone for over 5 or 6 hours, you had a breakdown” he says trying to prove his point. 

“It wasn’t your fault! it is the stupid cancer fault, plus, when that happened in the middle of a chemo session, i am better now, really”  

he looks up at me, not really believing what i am saying as usual and then looking back down “Sure” he says and sits on the bed again. “maybe i should pay a driver to pick my mom off” 

i nod and keep caressing my boyfriend’s hair while he struggled with the complications of his life. a dash of pain rush over my forehead, and i groan, taking my hands off my boyfriend’s head and reaching for the emergency button. 

“Can i have something for the pain?” i say when the nurse at the other side of the line picked up. 

“Sure hun” she says “What hurts?” the old lady asks. 

“Just a headache” i say and release the button from my hold, to then turn to my overly concerned boyfriend, that as usual, he turned over protective with this things. 

“Are you in pain?” he asks reaching for my hand and lacing our fingers together. 

“Just a bit, i’ll be fine” i smile softly and squeeze his hand “is just that thing” i point to the bag of the treatment that i get every day  “it always gets me like this”

“Are you sure?”  he asks softly

“Yes” i whisper and lean to kiss his forehead “I’m kinda hungry” 

that comment makes him smile, listening to me saying i was hungry was like music to his ears. Since Chemo started i haven’t been eating much, all of those random waves of nausea and weakness wore me off, I didn’t felt like eating, so i just left it even though Luke would insist for the longest time to make me eat something, i lost weight, but slowly I’ve been getting it back, which was somehow good. 

“Is Michael coming?” i ask happily, again running my fingers on his hair. 

“Em.. not really, i think he said something about not feeling too well, he’s coming to practice, but anyways ..” he says skipping the unnecessary information and going to the point “Calum is picking me up though, why?” 

“i want Mcdonald’s” i innocently smile “or better, In and out, can you please tell him-” 

“No” he scoffs at me and roll his eyes “it’s not any healthy to eat in and out”

“Pleaseeeee” i while, softly pulling his blonde hair as an instance “Just once, i hate hospital food” i sigh “look at the good side, think about all of the calories and how much weight i could gain from that” i smile 

“like, what, half a pound?” he laughs “No” 

i pout and take his face on my hands, squishing his cheeks and massaging his face on my hands “i won’t stop doing this until you say yes” i say, i know how much he hates it, i know him so well, and i know that if i keep doing it he’s going to be mad, but it’s the best way i could fine for him to say yes “Please bubba” 

he groans and grabs both of my hands pushing them to my sides “Okay fine” he says hardly acceding “i’ll call him” he says pulling his phone out “But just because you are finally willing to eat something” 

“Yay!” i celebrate letting him go from my hold and throwing my body back and laying on the bed “i’m excited now” 

he chuckles “of course you are” he mumbles squishing one of my thighs with his free hand while putting the phone over his ear “you deserve it though, you had a lot of tests today, i didn’t ask, how do you feel?” 

i shrug “i am alright,” i say with a small smile “it was nothing more than a blood test and a scan, just a check” i say like it’s nothing “i’ll be fine” 

he smiles sitting up on the bed and leaning down to kiss my cheek “hopefully” he mumbles “What do you want for dinner then?” he asks me, taking his phone off his ear. “Calum is not picking up, i’ll just text him” 

i smile and mumble what i want, it was nothing different from what i’ve order a hundred times before when we used to go to in n out on the weekends as a little tradition of us. He was typing quickly while moving on the bed closer to me and laying completely by my side. he looked tired, he felt tired, i knew he was more than tired of all the drama and stress in his life. he needs a break. 

“Have i mentioned to you how much i love you” i mumble close to his ear and kiss his cheek. “Because i love you so fucking much”

he turns around and gives me a weird look before smiling and pecking my lips softly “that was random” he chuckles and pecks my lips again “but i guess that i love you too” 

i gasp at his response and push him lightly, almost acting like i was offended “you guess?” i say and he laughs. “say it properly, you sucker, i’m expressing my feelings here” 

he laughs and sneaks his arm around my shoulder pulling me closer to him and kissing my forehead “C’mon babe” he chuckles looking down at me “you know i love you” 

i smile and look up at his piercing blue eyes “How much?” 

he shooks his head, and shrugs “I can’t even count how much, i just love you to the fucking moon and back” 


It’s been approximately 6 months since i last saw my mother face to face when me and (Y/n) went on a little holiday to Australia, and it was such a relief to finally see her. i still remember the last time i had a proper conversation with her face to face and through a screen. it was the day i told her (Y/n) had cancer. i cried. she cried.bits and pieces from that day still fly through my mind, i know how much she likes (Y/n), and it’s heartbreaking that after so many time she gets to see her in this state, i am not looking forward to this moment to come, at all.

However, here i am, 6 pm, just escaped from Studio hours even though I technically can’t do that and all ready to see mom come out of those doors, and then get back to work so i can finish this as soon as possible.

When i see her short body coming through the door, carrying her luggage with that tired look I’ve seen many times in the past, i smile, i can’t believe my mother is actually here, i missed her like crazy. 

“Oh my goodness!” she exclaims when she sees me through the crowded hallway of the airport. “My baby!” she laughs and I pull her into a warm welcoming hug. “i missed you so much” 

“i missed you too mom” i say closing my eyes feeling her embrace “So so so much” 

she separates from my hug and puts both of her hands on my cheeks, making me stare directly at her. “How are you?” she asks me with a sweet voice “You look tired love” she comments and caresses my cheek. 

i smile “I’m doing okay” i whisper and shrug. 

doesn’t look sure of it  “Are you sure honey?” she says softly. 

she looks at me with those eyes, when she knows something is wrong with me but wants me to say it out loud but like most of the times, i am way too stubborn to admit it 

“I am not sure mom” and with that, she does not ask more questions, gives me one last hug and a kiss on the cheek, and we are ready to head out of the airport. 

on the way out mom makes more than clear to me that she would rather go to the hospital to see (Y/n) before stopping at the apartment to leave her stuff and have a bit of a rest after such a long trip. For my luck, the hospital is not very far from LAX and we get there very soon, after no more than 15 minutes I park in my usual spot in the hospital parking lot and get ready to get in. 

“So, she’s been a bit better” I explain while taking out the sunglasses from my face “She is not currently in chemo so that’s good, the doctors made a couple of tests after the cycle to make sure everything was in place and she is responding well to the treatment” 

“Has she been too weak?” she asks already getting out of the car, almost eager to see her. 

“no, not this last days” i say “yesterday she was in a bit of pain, i guess it was just the medicine, but she ate pretty well, we brought her a burger and fries, she was more than happy to eat it, which is good” 

Already when walking through the hospital hallway on our way to (Y/n)’s room  some of the nurses wave their hands at me when they pass along my way and i give a little smile to them. we’ve been here for almost a month since’s her first breakdown and it was almost impossible for the entire nurse section to not know who was i, especially when (Y/n) was such a great social person who made sure to be friends with every single nurse and doctor that came to see her on the oncology section. at least it was good she was having social contact with other people that was just me or the boys. 

Again, we get to our destiny pretty quickly, and in the blink of an eye we are in front of her door, i open it and let my mother go first, almost inmidiatly obtaining a reaction rom her and my girlfriend. 

“Liz!” she yells and gives little jumps of excitement while sitting on the bed. 

she wasn’t wearing any of her usual set of beanies that are stored in her cabinet, so her bald head was completely exposed. she seemed more than happy to see my mother and i could notice that if it wasn’t for the IV stuck in her right arm she would have jumped from that bed and give my mother a very tight and welcoming hug that she has been expecting to give her from the past two weeks. 

my moms face is something that I can’t read, she is shocked of (Y/n)’s look, I know, she looks different, very different, is like she is now a totally different person. I spot my mom cleaning a little tear from her eye while hugging (Y/n), and I almost can feel all the emotion that is going on in the room. 

“I missed you” (Y/n) says with a smile “Oh my god, I am so happy you are here, I have so many things to tell you” 

my mother nods and gives her a kiss on the cheek “i am glad to see you” she mumbles, with a voice that is not her normal voice. “you look so… Different” 

she nods “I know” her sweet voice says, and then her look turns to me “hey, aren’t you supposed to be at work bubba?” she says to me 

“uh- yeah” i nod and walk up to the bed giving (Y/n) a kiss on the cheek “Mom really wanted to see you, would  you mind staying here for just a couple of hours? I’ll pick you up after I’m done with studio hours and you can rest” I tell my mother with a little apologetic smile. 

“it’s okay love, we have a lot to catch up” she smiles and sits beside my girlfriend. 

Walking away from the room, after excusing myself for leaving so soon, i make my way outside so i can head back to the studio to finally finish all of this, and finally, have my day finished. but when i almost reach the end of the aisle, i feel someone touch my shoulder, and i turn around, it’s Holly one of the nurses in charge of (Y/n), and also her personal favorite one. 

“The doctor wants to see you at his office” she simply says, and with just those simple words i tense. 

i wish i wasn’t called to his office, i really didn’t, i felt like i was a little kid in school and i did something wrong, with the difference that i was not at school and this is not my case who we are talking about. whoever, again, i really wished this was not happening and if i could make that moment disappeared i would do it in a heartbeat, and not only this moment, the entire cancer situation. 

those words are for sure going to stay in my mind for a long time, as long as i got there, the doctor did not waste any time updating me on what was happening. Number one, she is not longer responding to chemo and they are giving her one more cycle before testing her for radiation. number two, she caught a cold which in her state could be very delicate, and last and definetly not least, the doctor has no hope she will make it. and i really wished he didn’t said that because now i was one step closer to my fear of losing her. 

this can not be happening 

this CAN NOT be happening 

*drum roll* it has been completed

“We never used to be that bad!” You declared laughing and raising the cup of wine to your lips. “Oh please (y/n), you and Legolas were inseparable, to make it worse you weren’t intimidated by me” Thranduil declared. “That part is true, I never feared you”
“That is why you have my blessing to marry my son”
“Ada please.” Legolas said blushing, you slipped your hand in his and smiled. Tonight was the night that Legolas had declared your engagement to his father, Thranduil wasn’t at all surprised, in fact you swore he seemed happy but you knew better than to voice that view in front of him. “A lot of preparation will have to go towards your wedding day, have you started planning?”
“Some things” You replied. Thranduil had the right of it, you and Legolas had been bestfriends since childhood, and always together in fact you used to bathe together when you were very little. As you grew older you played together and even trained together, every evening returning home in bruises and scrapes and mud. Many late dinners were shared between the two of you accompanied by wine. It was the late teens when you started noticing how attractive and brave Legolas was, in fact you realised how much you had fell for him when he took you to your secret place and told you he was to attend court at Lord Elrond’s in Rivendell. You hadn’t expected to cry but you did, and when Legolas questioned why you were so upset you didn’t have an answer.
“I’ll return (y/n) do not fear” He had said and then you found yourself kissing him and then he found himself kissing you back and let’s just say how memorable that night was. When he had returned safely you barely had a chance to see him, he was with Thranduil for a long while before you could see him. “You returned safe” You had said when he entered his chambers. You had snuck in and waited on the bed. “You waited for me” He replied and then ran over to hold you.
Since then you were again inseparable and before he even had a chance to finish asking for your hand in marriage you were already shouting yes over and over.
“I trust you will take care of my son?” Thranduil asked swirling his wine around his cup, you liked to think that he had a soft spot for you, whether that was true or not remained unknown. “I trust he will take care of me” Thranduil’s lips curled up ever so slightly into a smile before standing up. “The merriment will last for many nights I fear, enjoy this night together alone while you can before the people start talking to you” You were in the grand hall and seated on the dias. The elves scattered on long tables feasting and drinking to the news of your engagement. As you and Legolas slipped out no one even noticed. “Your father seemed pleased” You said sweetly and Legolas backed you against a wall out of sight from guards. “Of course he’s happy, he loves the idea of having you as his daughter” He pressed his lips to yours hungrily and you grinned parting your lips so his tongue had access to yours. “We should go to our chambers”
“Why when there’s no one around here?” You moaned in excitement and pulled him to you deepening the kiss. “Anyone could see us”
“Let them see”

“Legolas look!” You called and he stirred awake from the bed. “What is it? Let me sleep”
“No Legolas get up!” You have been married for 3 years now and honestly each day has been better than the last. “Ugh (y/n) what is it?” He propped himself up on one elbow and his silver hair swept over his shoulder. “It’s my wedding gown” You held it up against you and he beamed standing up from out of the bed. “I forgot how beautiful it was” He said running a hand over the fabric. “I do remember ripping it off your body though” He whispered seductively and you shivered. “I remember that too” He moved the dress from your body and let it slip to the floor. You jumped up into his arms and wrapped your legs around his waist; he stumbled back to the bed kissing you hard. He lay you down on the sheets and climbed above you. The first time he had taken you was so gentle and sweet and now you could hardly wait for when you have sex, he was still sweet but gentle was long gone and you had absolutely no complaints. His hands were grasping at your slip before literally tearing it from your body. “You owe me a new one” You commented, arching your back into his touch.
“We’ll discuss that later” He said slipping his hand between your legs. “Legolas!”

4 months later-
“It’s definitely a proper bump now” Legolas said his hand pressed to your belly. “She moves when you talk” He smiled and crouched in front of you. “Hi love this is your ada, I’m excited to see you, me and your mother” He spoke to your baby for a few more moments before standing up and taking your hand. “Where are we going?”
“I was hunting the other day and I stumbled across our old secret spot” You squealed. “It’s still there! I haven’t been there since we were very young” He walked with you carefully, helping you through the trees until you reached the spot. “Oh Legolas it hasn’t changed!” You sat down in the centre of it and almost cried with all the memories of your childhood coming back. “We first made love here” He said sitting beside you and pulling you close to him. “It’s beautiful, I never realised how much I missed it, you used to hide here when your father was cross with you”
“I remember, you used to stay with me”
“Only because he didn’t scare me”
“You know he cried when I told him you were pregnant” You raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I’m being serious he cried” You rested your head on his shoulder and smiled. “We’ll get to show our baby this place”
“We trained here sometimes too didn’t we?”
“Aye we did and I beat you each time” You declared and you both erupted in laughter. “You beat me thrice and that was all” He placed his hand on your bump and you placed your hand over his. “You have all this to look forward to” You whispered. “And you have a wonderful father” you added.
“And a perfect mother” You smiled up at him before giving him a gentle kiss. “I love you Legolas Greenleaf”
“I love you (y/n), so much” You stayed in that spot for a while, lying back on the grass, your head on his chest and knees raised watching the sunset. “When did you fall in love with me?” You asked. Legolas sighed and ran his hand up and down your arm. “I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, I think I was in love with you a long time before I actually realised it, what about you?”
“When you told me you were going to Elrond’s. The thought of losing you and worse things went through my mind and it was then I realised I wanted to be by your side forever, that’s why I kissed you.” His hand stopping moving and you sat up so you were above him. His hand stroked your cheek gently. “You’re so beautiful” His fingers traced your features before his thumb brushed over your lower lip and he sat up so he could kiss you. “I have forever to show you how much I love you”
“Forever still isn’t long enough for me to show you how much I love you” You replied.


It was back in December 2014 when I first unexpectedly came upon Running Man—a South Korean variety/reality show. Back then, I didn’t really had a clue as to what the show is about, who the members are or how they progress in  one and a half hour broadcast.

But little did I know, my journey as a Runner would start right then and there.

I once given a background post about the show which you can read here. This time, to commemorate my first anniversary of being a Runner, I’ll share to you my very own RUNNING MAN STARTER PACK it’s not totally a package, rather a list  of 10 episodes/specials I recommend you to watch in all of their 320 episodes (as of writing) if you are a new runner or just starting to watch the show.

This list highlights  the best episodess of the individual members and as well as  their team work that despite the betrayals, is still formidable.

To be honest, it was hard to choose what goes to this list as there are a lot of notable episodes in RM. I can really give you a ton of them in just one sitting. But we aim to narrow them down to the notable ones for starters. No need to worry about the other eps though, as I know you’ll watch every single one once you’re hooked. Believe me. *wink*

Originally posted by littlepeacefulrunner

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B5 was the first fandom I was active in, back in the LJ days. Then later on it became my first tumblr fandom, too. Those were good days. I remember when pretty much half the people I knew here were going to that B5 con in Phoenix and I basically cried my way through the entire weekend because I couldn’t be there. This show and this fandom lifted me up. And I may have grown calluses over the wounds of it all falling apart (and how badly that hurt me) and I may try to pretend I don’t care anymore, but I still miss it. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing it.

You Break His Guitar (Luke Imagine, Part Three)

A/N: Hiiii this is the final part of this series! I’m glad you guys liked it so much. Some of you asked me to tag you in it, but I forgot and I need to go to bed, so I hope you see it! I swear I’m not ignoring you! Let me know how you like the ending!

Part One: http://5-seconds-of-mischief.tumblr.com/post/122127393816/you-break-his-guitar-luke-imagine

Part Two: http://5-seconds-of-mischief.tumblr.com/post/122205987021/you-break-his-guitar-luke-imagine-part-two


Luke almost didn’t pick it up.

When unknown numbers call him, he almost never answers, figuring that if it’s important, they’ll leave a message.

But he felt something in his heart that made him pull to the side of the road and dig his phone from his pocket, where it had resided ever since he hopped into his car, driving around town looking for her.


At first he’s met with silence, almost like whoever was on the other line knew he wouldn’t answer, and then your voice crackled across the shitty line, and he felt his whole chest implode.

“Luke?” You asked, sounding far too timid considering your lengthy relationship. “Please don’t hang up. Please.”

You broke off into sobs, realizing calling him was a terrible idea. You can handle freezing in the pouring rain, but his rejection? That was the worst of all.

“Y/N, I’m not gonna hang up,” he assured you quickly, already putting his car into drive and coasting back onto the road. You sounded broken, and he had caused it.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll replace it. I swear I’ll get you the same exact one. I’m so-”

“Fuck! I don’t care about the fucking guitar!” He cut you off angrily, not furious at you but himself, but you took it differently.

“Oh god,” you sobbed, feeling absolutely pathetic. “Please don’t hate me. I need you.”

“I don’t hate you. I love you,” Luke answered, feeling like shit himself. Why was he so inadequate at biting his tongue? “Babe, where are you? Are you okay?”

You calmed down slightly at his softer tone, the one he uses during the most intimate experiences. “I’m lost,” You cried into the receiver, knowing your time was limited. “I’m in a mall parking lot. My car is almost out of gas. I don’t even remember how I got here.”

“Baby, it’s alright,” Luke cooed, and you thanked all your lucky stars that he still cared about you. “Look for a sign, Y/N. I’m coming to get you, but I need to know what mall.”

You glanced around the parking lot, not seeing much. Turning back to the phone, you saw “Creekside” embossed into the booth.

“It might be Creekside Mall? I don’t know Luke!” You were well aware that your phone time would end soon, and you could feel the hysteria bubbling in your chest.

“Creekside? I know where that is!” Luke exclaimed, feeling like maybe he wasn’t a total disaster. “I’m about twenty minutes from-”

The line suddenly cut off, and a monotone voice informed you that you needed another quarter to continue the call. A quarter that you didn’t have.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed into the night, the sound being lost in the beating of the rain. You were absolutely drenched, so you made you way back to your car, reaching forward and tugging on the door. It didn’t open, so you wiped the window with your arm, seeing your keys glistening from the cup holder in the center. You were locked out of your car. Great.

You screamed, the kind of scream that’s so raw and desperate that if anyone had heard it, they would call the police, scared that a murder was taking place. You slid down the side of your car, sobbing as you sat in a puddle feeling sorry for yourself. You didn’t deserve this. This was some fucked up voodoo shit, it had to be.

You sat there, chilled to the bone, but also feeling incredibly numb. That morning, you and your boyfriend had parted ways with kisses and jokes, and you had felt so content with your life. Now, it technically wasn’t even the same day, and you felt dead inside, and horribly lost. You were so numbed from the cold that you didn’t even hear the subtle engine of Luke’s car over the rain, or the slam of his door.

“Y/N!” Luke yelled, shaking your shoulders as your eyes focused on his. “What are you doing? Get out of the rain!”

You started crying again. “I’m sorry,” You bawled. “I’m sorry. I locked my keys in my car.”

It sounded even more pathetic out loud, and Luke must have felt your embarrassment, because he tugged you up by your arms and half carried you to his humming car, you stumbling along blindly. He opened the backseat door, basically shoving you in, before jumping in himself. He leaned across the middle console and put the heat on full blast, you just softly crying the whole time, dimly aware that you were dripping water and getting his backseat soaked.

“Take your shirt off,” Luke said softly, lifting his own over his head and tossing it to the front seat.

“What?” You wanted him to forgive you, but the thought of fucking in his backseat brought tears to your eyes. You just couldn’t take that right now.

“No baby, not like that,” He murmured at your look. “You’re going into shock from your low body temperature, and those wet clothes are making it worse. Your lips are blue and you’re shivering. I need to get you warm.”

You nodded slowly and let him lift your thin shirt over your head, leaving you shaking in your bra. He had seen you bare thousands of times, but you were wary anyway. He pulled you into his chest, and immediately you felt his heat invade your pores. He laid back, keeping you on top of him as your body slowly ceased it’s tremors, your cries slowing as well.

“I really am sorry Luke,” you sniffled, your head nuzzled into his neck.

“You shouldn’t be,” he responded, running his fingers through your wet hair. “It was an accident, and I completely overreacted like a bitch. I’m sorry, Y/N. This is completely my fault.”

“I shouldn’t have broken your guitar,” You mumbled.

“It was an accident. Accidents happen, and I should have understood that. I love you so much, and tonight made me realize you are so much more important to me than an instrument.”

You didn’t respond, instead letting his body heat warm you. It was close to 4 a.m., and you were thoroughly drained, just wanting to fall asleep.

“You feel warmer yet, baby?” Luke asked some time later, rubbing small circles on your back. You slightly nodded, half asleep, and he laid you down on the backseat, maneuvering into the driver’s seat to take you home. He sent Michael a quick text stating you were alright, and decided that he could send Calum and Ashton with a spare set of keys tomorrow to get your car.

The drive home was slow, because he realized you had no seat belt on. Upon reaching your shared apartment, he carried you bridal style up to your suite, making sure that your top half was hidden with his body. He placed you gently on the bed, removing your pants and shoes while you stirred lightly, barely realizing where you were. He quickly shed the rest of his clothing and got you both under the comforter, enveloping your still slightly-cold body with his own, kissing your forehead repeatedly. You were a little awake, so you opened your eyes to see his staring at you.

“Do you forgive me?” You whispered, needing to know that the air was cleared.

Tears glistened in his eyes. “Yeah, absolutely. Do you forgive me?”

“Yeah,” you sighed contently, closing your eyes. “I love you. I thought you were breaking up with me.”

“I love you too,” he swallowed hard. “I don’t want to break up with you. Ever. And especially not over some stupid, fucking guitar.”

You hummed a response, before finally falling asleep. Luke stayed awake though. A new melody played in his mind as he felt you breathe, felt the warmth begin to emanate from your body as well. He hoped he could play it for you soon, on his new guitar, which he will love a thousand times more than the old, stupid, broken one.


Valerie’s Letter

“I know there’s no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks. But I don’t care. I am me.

My name is Valerie. I don’t think i’ll live much longer, and I wanted to tell someone about my life. This is the only autobiography that i’ll ever write, and – God – i’m writing it on toilet paper.

I was born in Nottingham in 1985. I don’t remember much of those early years. But I do remember the rain. My grandmother owned a farm in Tottlebrook, and she used to tell me that God was in the rain.

I passed my eleven plus, and went to a girl’s grammar. It was at school that I met my first girlfriend. Her name was Sarah. It was her wrists – they were beautiful. I thought we would love each other forever. I remember our teacher telling us that it was an adolescent phase that people outgrew.

Sarah did.

I didn’t.

In 2002 I fell in love with a girl named Christina. That year I came out to my parents. I couldn’t have done it without Chris holding my hand.

My father wouldn’t look at me. He told me to go and never come back. My mother said nothing.

I’d only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have.

It is the very last inch of us.

And within that inch, we are free.

I’d always known what i’d wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I started my first film: The Salt Flats.

It was the most important role of my life. Not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.

We moved to a small flat in London together. She grew scarlet carsons for me in our window box. And our place always smelt of roses.

Those were the best years of my life.

But America’s war grew worse and worse, and eventually came to London.

After that there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.

I remember how the meaning of words began to change. How unfamiliar words like “collateral” and “rendition” became frightening. When things like norsefire and the articles of allegiance became powerful. I remember how different became dangerous.

I still don’t understand it: why they hate us so much.

They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I’ve never cried so hard in my life. It wasn’t long until they came for me.

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place.

But for three years I had roses – and apologised to no-one.

I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch.

But one.

An inch.

It is small and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

I hope that - whoever you are - you escape this place. I hope that the world turns, and that things get better.

But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may not meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you: I love you.

With all my heart.

I love you.


Jamie Benn #2

Requested by Anon:  Can you write a Jamie Benn drabble based on TSwift’s Mary’s Song (Oh my, my, my)? THANK YOU SO MUCH!

*Thank you so much! I love this song so I was really excited about writing this. :) I hope you like this. Also, I can’t believe this is just my second Jamie Benn request. :O*

Word count: 834

Originally posted by sebaho

You slid next to Jamie on the front porch steps of your childhood home. He smiled down at you and continued to watch the quiet street, not even offering you one of the three beer cans he had on his other side. You wrapped your light cardigan on your body tighter.

“Why are you all alone in this chilly night?” you smiled.

“Just thinking,” he shrugged, “you?”

“Wanted some alone time too,” you confessed.

“Want me to leave?” he asked.

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missing | part two

part one

calum + reader
word count: 1659

writing masterlist | request/ask/feedback

summary: calum is mia on the most important night of your life


Apparently, it took Calum almost a month to ‘stop being an asshole’, which I later found out was his idea of ‘giving me some space’. 

In that time, I’d tried to listen to my best friend’s words of advice and move on. I even tried going on a blind date.

The guy was nice enough at first, opening the car door for me, pulling out my chair at the restaurant. It all seemed fine until he brought up.. Calum. 

“So I heard you were with that bassist from that band a while ago..” I raised an eyebrow at him, slightly shocked that my date would bring up my ex-boyfriend.

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I will never regret loving you 💜bangtan boys💜

I’ve never been to the wings tour , i’d nvr had the chance to go so i dont rly know why knowing today is the last day hurting me this much
Its not hurting bcuz im sad i didnt go to any of the concerts but bcuz our boys worked so hard for this and now its the end of it and im sure they
I cant believe while im remembering all of the past year how much work they put , they cried and went through so much , they fought themselves to do better and better , they spent the day and night to get the best they can , even when there were haters everywhere they still believed we r here with them to help them through the negativity and pain ..
I have 1 wish and it will nvr happen but i jst wish to give each of them the biggest hug i can give telling them how wonderful they are how perfect they are how much we love them as they are… That without diet without practicing too much without thinking of giving us too much we still know how they feel and we’ll nvr go anywhere ..
Im sure you’ll make it even big with your new comeback and jst thinking of it makes me wanna cry bcuz i know you will shed many tears and sweat to make it perfect … I love every little thing about you guys … You make me learn too much of you .. Im proud to be an ARMY and i’ll 4ever be 💜

The Strength to Survive

word count: 1195

angst, fluff, hopelessnes

I was trapped. There was no way escaping this time. I knew I was done for. The door, the fragile wooden door, the last thing between me and certain death, was bending dangerously under the weight of about a dozen walkers pushing against it. I felt tears dwelling up in my eyes. I always knew this day would come, at some point each and every one of us would run out of luck no matter how careful we planned our runs or how safe we thought our refuge to be. I just never thought it would end like this. I had hoped for it to be quick, not the crap I found myself in right now, sitting around waiting for the walkers to get me. I listened to their growls as I started to cry.

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The Dream of the Foundling - Part 4

Summary: After tragedy strikes the kingdom of Agora, Prince James is faced with impossible task of finding a suitor for himself. Which only becomes ten times harder when he falls for his servant.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Suspense I guess, this is more just a filler than anything, sadness, sorta angsty.
Word Count: 1,200
Author’s Note: Okay I caved I feel like you guys have been waiting long enough so I thought I’d post this anyway. 


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Sun Kissed Skin

ship: wincest
rating: mature
ao3 link
tags: beach sex, hand jobs, blow jobs, public sex, Impala sex, praise kink (ehh, kinda) oral sex, dirty talk
summary: “The beach. The ocean. Girls in coconut bras and grass skirts. Pina Colada’s. Now that was a vacation.”
word count: 2,353
written/created for: anon wincest love week
a/n: as stated above, this was written for wincest love week. I’ve been meaning to get around to posting these on tumblr (for they are on ao3). Plus it gives me time to edit and hopefully make better. I was @wetsammywinchester anon.
tagging: @clearlylostmymind, @imakittehkatt, @kittenofdoomage, @kansaskissedlips, @ilostmyshoe-79, @im-a-winchester-in-hell-1967@oh-jesus-sammy (so these are pretty much the only wincest shippers I know. If you don’t or do want to be tagged, let me know.)

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The Good Inside You. Theo Raeken imagine

A/N: Spoilers from the finale incase you haven’t already watched it. Enjoy!

Theo and yourself were deeply in love, but when pack and yourself found out about him, everything changed. You broke up with him and didn’t speak with him as much, seeing him around school was difficult also since you were his lab partner. You were still in love with him, he was your first love, just as you were his, and your friends could see this.

When the day came where you all were in the sewers everything happened so quickly, the beast was there, and Deucalion. The moment that shocked you most wasn’t when the beast was finally gone, and Mason was saved. It wasn’t when Deucalion was not blind, but it was when Kira opened up a hole in the ground. Dark and seemed like it went on forever.

“The skin-walkers have a message for you Theo…” Is what you heard when you were running to get to your pack since you were slightly injured, which is why you were behind. When you finally got to them you saw Theo already half way through the black hole, which a young girl was dragging him down. Theo was screaming Scott’s name for help and you ran towards Theo to help him, but it was too late.

You couldn’t forgive yourself, you kept questioning whether if you got there sooner you could help Theo. You knew Theo was bad news, but there was a good side to him which you saw everyday you spent with him. He was only bad and took upon bad actions because the Dred Doctors corrupted his mind when he was only 9.

You stayed at home most of the time, and your friends became worried and checked up on you once in a while. You had reoccurring nightmares about Theo, and you missed him. Lydia called you 5 days after Theo was gone and asked you if you wanted to spend time with you, but you politely said no. The pack was upset since you weren’t there with them or at school for days, your parents let you stay home because they knew everything that was going on and you were a perfect student at school so missing out on a few days didn’t affect you harshly.

One night was different. You had a dream that Theo was still here, and this dream seemed so real to you. In the morning you got up and went into woods calling his name, and someone turned you around, hoping it was Theo, but it was only Liam.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” He said sadly and wiping the tears from your face.

“H-He’s here, I know he is.” You say out of breath.

“Y/n, he’s gone.” Kira says walking up to you with the rest of the pack.

“He can’t be dead…” You say trying not to cry.

“Theo isn’t dead, he’s just gone into darkness.” Kira says holding your hand.

“I’m sorry, I know you still cared about him.” She says again pulling you into a soft hug.

Stiles drove you to Scotts house where the rest of the pack were to have breakfast. You were quiet as were the rest of them. You were happy to have such loyal friends. After minutes everyone was talking and you joined in feeling a bit better. Stiles dropped you home hours later.

“You coming to school on Monday?” He said.

“I think so, thankfully tomorrow’s Sunday so I can get myself prepared.” You smile at him.

“If you need anything, I’m here, we’re all here.” Stiles says placing his hand on yours.

“Thanks.” You reply and give him a hug while stepping out of his jeep.

You close the door and wave goodbye. Your parents already called you while you were at Scotts saying they had a work function, so you got your spare keys and opened the door. Turning on the lights you almost had a heart attack.

There getting up off the couch was a tall figure, which was Theo. You open your mouth to say something but he cuts you off.

“Please don’t faint.” He says walking towards you steadily.

“H-h-how are you… w-when.” You stutter.

“Slow down.” He says caressing your cheek.

After having a small breather he explains everything to you on how he was back.

“After days in the lonesome darkness, I was afraid of what was to come. One day I heard voices, someone whispering saying; ‘she needs him, she needs him’ over and over again. I got let out suddenly and the voice said to me ‘the girl whom you love needs you’, that’s how I was sent out.” He says while looking into my eyes.

“Me?” You say quietly.

“Yes.” Theo replies.

“You got me out, you saved me.” He says touching your cheek.

“Are you really here?…” You tear up looking at the boy you cared for.

Theo hugs you tightly and cries to himself.

“I love you.” He says, which warms your heart.

“I don’t know how you still care for me after everything I’ve done.” Theo says letting go and looking at your teary eyes.

“You’re the only person I can remember who has ever cared for me so much.” He says again.

“I know you were influenced to be that way, and I always had faith that there was good inside of you.” You say looking up into his loving eyes.

Body of Roses (Punk!Luke Fan Fiction) Chapter - 20

Photo not mine

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19

Warning: Violence, mature subject matter

Rating: A-14 (Read at own risk)

Word Count: 1,629

Luke’s P.O.V

I stood there for ten seconds waiting for the excruciating pain to begin coursing through my body and my breaths to become weak, but nothing happened. The loud grunts and skin to skin contact was the sound that filled my ears next causing my eyes to snap open. I took in my surroundings; Ella now fighting off the seven or so guys in Jai’s gang like they were nothing. The sight of how strong she’s become sent a smile to my face, but it quickly dissolved once I saw the body on the ground at Ella’s feet.

My hands automatically began to search my middle frantically for any bullet wounds but there was nothing there. I felt shock absorb my body as my eyes landed on the face of the man whom Ella shot instead of me. Jai lied motionless, his stomach not moving indicating that he had stopped breathing.

My eyes landed back to Ella who by now had nearly taken out the entire all seven. I hardly recognized her anymore with her hard set stare showing no weakness or vulnerability. She wasn’t the same girl who I met 5 months ago in her room at her brother’s party. She wasn’t the lost girl who thought there was nothing else in her life. She was strong and more beautiful than ever, because she was finally free from herself.

I took a moment to collect myself from my near death experience before jumping in and helping Ella with the rest of the guys. It took us nearly five minutes before all of them were lying unconscious on the ground.

We both stood there, staring at one another for a long while trying catching our breaths from the fight. Ella was the first to move, running over to where I stood before I engulfed her small fragile body in my arms. I heard her soft weeping as she held on to me tighter like I would slip threw her fingers. Bringing my head down, I kissed her lightly on her forehead before bringing my lips down to meet hers.

“I’m here now,” I told her wiping the tears that were still staining her cheeks off with my thumbs. “You’re safe.”


Ella’s P.O.V

We were at the police station for most of the day, filling out reports and documents. I remember my parents and brother coming through the front doors of the office and swallowing me up in their arms. My mom and I both cried together telling one another how much we loved the other and how she’d never let anything like that happen to me again. I remember looking up into my dad’s usually cold set stare seeing them brim with tears as he gave me one last hug and a kiss on the head. Luca didn’t bother holding back his tears, too over joyed to see me home safe and sound.

“I still can’t believe you dyed your hair.” My mom mutter making a smile crack on my lips.

“It’s not like I had much of a choice,” I told her. “Jai wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be recognized easily.”

“But you had the prettiest honey coloured hair.” She whined, picking up a strand of the blonde hair and twirling it around her index finger.

“It was either that or cutting it all off.”

Most of the day consisted of paper work: filling out a found person document and the use of a gun in defense. Though I did kill Jai, the police let me off telling me that it was out of protection for myself and Luke.

“I’ll drive you home.” Luke whispered in my ear as I signed the last paper that was given to us.

I shook my head. “I don’t want to go home,” Before he could question me I continued. “I want to spend time with you. I mean how long has it been since I beat you in Grand Theft Auto?”

I felt Luke smile with his cheek against the side of my head looking over my shoulder as I finally finished all the paper work. “I thought we did a blood oath to never speak of that again.” A small laugh escaped from inside me causing both of us to go into a fit of laughter. “You have no idea how much I missed you.” He whispered in my ear.

I turned to him taking hold of his hand before signalling to my parents that I was going with Luke. “Believe me,” I began. “It wasn’t much of a paradise for me either.”

His hand tightened around mind as if trying to tell me that he’s never going to let anything like that happen to me again. We both made it out into the parking lot spotting his run down car easily before hopping in and beginning our drive. We stopped at a local pizza parlor to eat before Luke forced me to go with him on a private beach.

“Luke,” I hissed at him in a hushed voice like someone would catch us. He looked down at me from the top of the fence with a cheeky smile on his face. “This is called trespassing and I think there has been already too many laws broken this past month.”

He just shrugged moving closer to the edge, “So I guess breaking one more law can’t hurt.” And with that he disappeared to the other side.

I did a full circle making sure no one was watching though there wasn’t a person for miles. “I swear to God Luke, if I fall…” I continued on, heaving myself over the nine foot fense before dropping into Luke’s arms. He gave me a smirk before leaning down and kissing my lips quickly as he gently placed me back on my feet.

I let out a small gasp once my eyes moved from Luke’s face, landing on the pink glowing sky of a sun set.

“Luke,” I whispered. “It’s so beautiful.”

I knew he was smiling from accomplishment. “I knew you’d like it." 

He then pulled my arm gently, dragging me closer to the ocean. "I don’t have a bathing suit, Luke.” I laughed as he picked me up bridal style and began wading his way through the water.

“Who says you need a bathing suit to swim?”

With that, He threw me into the cool autumn water causing a small yelp to escape my mouth as I resurfaced. “You’re gonna pay, Hemmings!” I laughed not caring about the volume of my voice anymore or the fact that anyone could catch us on private property.

We splashed and dunked one another for another twenty minutes before noticing that the sun was almost down. With all of our clothes wet, we began our way back to Luke’s car driving back to his house.

“Parents are gone to New Zealand for my dad’s business trip.” Luke told me. “And both my brother’s are back in university so it looks like we have the house to ourselves.” He sent a wink over my way causing me to laugh.

“I can’t stay that long,” I told him. “My mom’s probably expecting me home soon.”

We pulled into his driveway, making our way up to his front door before letting ourselves inside.

“Do you have anything I can change into?” I asked him

“Ya.” He nodded, both of us making our way downstairs to his room. I waited for him in the games room to find some clothes for me to change into while I looked at the wall of photos again.

“The track pants are probably gonna be too big,” I heard him say from behind me as I turned to face him. “But they have drawstrings so-” He stopped mid sentence, taking in my face. “What’s wrong?”

I brought my hands up to my cheeks noticing that tears were streaming down them before looking him back in the eye. I didn’t remember when I began crying, didn’t even realize I was crying until he pointed it out. And once I stared into his deep ocean blue irises, I felt more of them stinging in the corners of my eyes.

“I killed two people,” I choked out before watching Luke drop the clothing from his hands and bringing me into his arms. I felt myself leaning against him not able to support my own body weight anymore. “I’m a monster.” I whispered to him.

“You’re anything but a monster,” Luke gently lifted my head to look him in the eyes. “You didn’t kill two people, Jai did. You did that because you had no choice.” He whispered to me bringing his hands up to cradle my damp cheeks. “You’re not a monster, Ella. Jai is.” He slowly lowered his head down to my lips planting a gentle kiss on them. My hands automatically wrapped around his neck, tangling my fingers into his soft hair. I felt his arms snaking around my waist bringing me as close as he possibly could to his warm solid body. “You’re beautiful and smart and strong.” He whispered on my lips. “You’re anything but a monster.”

That was the last thing he told me before placing his lips back on mine where they belonged and gently pushed me back into his room. His hands sent shock wave rippling though my entire body no matter where he touched me.

The night was filled with love and passion. It was a night that I’ve never experienced before as he showed me an entirely new world. And I knew from the moment when he whispered my name in my ear and nuzzling into my neck that I loved him in a way I never thought I could feel 5 months ago.


Next Chapter Here

A/N: Hey guys! So thank you so much for reading my fanfic and I’m really hoping you’re enjoying it! If you are then definitely give it a like and reblog because it helps me out a lot :) Thank you so much guys!