but i spent my precious time on making this so i may as well post them

Caring Company

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re sexually frustrated and can’t sleep. Most nights like these, your best friend Steve Rogers keeps you company- it’s always just been platonic and friendly until one night he finally makes a move.

Character(s): reader, Steve Rogers

Warnings: little fluff, lotta smut (so my sweet, precious, innocent little ones may want to skip this one!)

Word Count: 2397

A/N: still so busy with this new job training, but I’ve been playing with this one for a week or so when I’ve had the chance and just decided to post it. I’m not super confident in my smut-writing yet, but I liked this idea and rolled with it, so, yea. As always, advice/comments/critiques are highly appreciated and cherished, and I’m down for requests or prompts too!

Master List

You had been tossing and turning in your empty bed for hours, relief and rest evading you with every minute that passed. You fished around in your sheets for your phone and the tapping sounds as you typed echoed in the silence. “Hey Cap, you awake?”

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anonymous asked:

man, i don't even know what to do with kenny omega man; first he and kota slaughter us with their undying love. now, he riling the shit out of okada and making mr. stoic mcsparkles FEEL things like anger, disgust, irritation and maybe, just MAYBE some grudging admiration and respect. all while kenny just sort of flirts with him in his weirdo passive-aggressive way he did with kota. he's moving on in the most masochistic way possible, i think, although that title's a nice bonus as well.

okay this turned out more about kota/kenny because I hadn’t thought about Kota at all in the context of Kenny/Okada stuff till this came into my inbox, and then the information about Kota being in the G1 came out today and just. it got away from me.

In a wonderful post that you should all check out @mithen said “Kenny alternately taunts and pleads with [Kota] through social media” and I think that’s a great way to describe it.

A theme that arose in Kenny’s Kota-related interviews in 2016 was that Kota probably isn’t even on his level anymore.

“There are precious few people that can change the face of wrestling. It may even just be the two of us. So I’m going to stay here in New Japan, doing my best and waiting for him. (At the G1 finals) I finally surpassed him. I was chasing Ibushi for eight years and finally outgrew him. I hope that’s inspiration for him, right?” - Kenny Omega, Aug 28 2016 (as translated by Chris Charlton (which kenny retweeted))

He’s spent eight years chasing Kota. He wants Kota to come to him this time. He’s been waiting for him in NJPW. He’s been giving him “inspiration.”

Kota defeated Kenny the only two times they’ve ever been in singles competition against each other. Kota has also had matches against Okada at least twice that I know of (not counting Tiger Mask W, who is, of course, an entirely different person) and lost both times. Beating Okada certainly would put Kenny on a whole other level. Especially beating him clean which is something Kenny has been very focused on.

Kenny doesn’t just want to win. He’s made that clear. He wants to beat Okada. Because he’s not just after the belt and the power that comes with it. He’s after the knowledge that he’s better. Better than Okada. Better than Kota Ibushi.

if you look at it like that, one might almost say that he’s been baiting Kota in his current run for the title. I’m better than you. I’m better than you. I’m better than you. I’m doing things you never could. Come home and prove me wrong.

Be My Wife (Lin x Reader)

Summary: You have been dating Lin for a little over four years when he asks you to be his wife. 

Prompt: “Be my wife." 

Warnings; None ? Literally all fluff 

A/N: this is also posted on my Ao3, @/kaylaiplier 

word count: 1035

Originally posted by cierrasuee

You and Lin had been together for close to four years. You had met him while he was in the beginning process of writing Hamilton at the library you worked at. He had come there every day for a week asking you everything on the artifacts that surrounded the library that had to do with his precious Alexander Hamilton. You were happy to answer him for you had studied history while in college and knew lots of random facts about the first treasury, plus you thought Lin was cute so it was a bonus. 

After that week he would show up randomly some days to show you his progress and ask if it were even close to being historically correct. You slowly felt yourself falling for the Playwright with each hour you spent helping him create what would be his best Musical yet. Lin could safely say that he felt the same but he wouldn’t admit it until your guys’ third date when he asked you out while you guys wrote Helpless in the small hole-in-the-wall cafe two blocks from the library. 

You were extremely proud of Lin, who wouldn’t be? He had come so far from the man who was barely writing any lyrics at all to a man with hit Broadway show about a founding father. You were so proud and so happy that you got to witness it all at his side. Lin would always talk about how you had helped him with it saying most of it’s because of you but you would always brush him off, he did it all on his own, you just helped make sure it was historically correct. 

Today you were sat in Lin’s dressing room on his comfy old couch, your sock covered feet in his lap as you guys talked softly listening to the rain outside and the music playing off of his laptop. You always made time to come and see Lin before a show, whether it was just you dropping off lunch or staying there for the whole show, you always made time. Today was a slow day at work so your boss let you off early so you came to the theater and surprised your lovely boyfriend. 

“Do you ever think about how many pigeons we’ve seen? Like, there are so many but what if we’re just constantly seeing the same like twenty pigeons?” You pondered randomly after a few minutes of silence. Lin laughed loudly, letting out a big belly laugh at your randomness. 

He shook his head after calming down his laughter, “How do you come up with these things?” 

You shrugged allowing a smile to come over your lips at his laughter, “I read something on Tumblr last night and it’s been bugging me so I thought to ask you.” 

“Amazing, no wonder I’m dating you,” He replied pulling out his phone. “I’m tweeting about this, the fans will know how weird you are. I will show them.” 

“Go ahead, babe. They’ll still love me more!” 

“No one can love you more than I do.” 

“I don’t know, Tobi loves me a lot. He may top you.” You shrug looking away as you take a drink of the hot cocoa that you had made a few minutes prior. After you set down the mug on the small table next to the couch you felt Lin place his body lightly on top of you. “Well hello, there mister.” you greeted staring into his eyes. 

“Hi.” He whispered leaning close and pressing a soft kiss to your lips that left you breathless. He pulled away, smirking at you. “Can Tobi do that?” 

You slowly shook your head as you rolled your eyes. “Exactly, I love you the most.” 

“God, you’re such a dork.” 

“But I’m your dork.” You look down at him, his head now resting on your stomach as he stares up at you. You ran your fingers through his long hair slowly, “Yeah… you are.” 

You held Lin’s gaze as you lightly scratched Lin’s scalp while you ran your hand through it. You were lost in thought, thinking over all of your moments with Lin and how you wouldn’t trade them for the world. He was your world. Your rock. Although you’d be his rock more since he’s the one who’s always floating away with new crazy ideas while you held him close so he wouldn’t go too far. You were happy that he had chosen to come to your library that day, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now, with the love of your life. 

“Be my wife.” Lin suddenly stated, pushing himself up on his hands. You snapped back to reality, your eyes widening as you looked at the man before you. 

“What?” You questioned softly, your heart beating heavily in your chest. 

“Be my wife. Marry me.” He repeated, grinning at you as he straddles your knees while on his. He shoved his hand into his pocket pulling out a simple engagement ring with just a small diamond in the silver band. “I have been waiting to do this ever since our first anniversary, but I was waiting for the perfect moment and that perfect moment is literally every moment spent with you by my side. So I decided that now would be the right moment, in the place in which you helped me get to.” 

You stared at Lin with loved filled eyes, a tear rolling down your cheek slowly. He watched as you wiped the tear and smiled lovingly up at him. “Of course my Lin-Manuel, I’ll be your wife. You could have asked me this four years ago and I still would have said yes. I would have said yes if you asked me ten years from now, I love you so much.” Lin’s smile broadened and he happily slid the ring onto your waiting finger. 

“I love you so much.” He whispered placing his lips on yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck, resting them on his shoulders. “So so much.” He muttered as he pulled away. “You’re going to be my wife, that’s the best sentence to leave my mouth.” 

 You giggled, leaning your head into the crook of his neck. "God, you’re such a dork, but you’re my dork.”

anonymous asked:

any fics where Jily is being shipped by family/friends/fans/ECT.

Here are a bunch, and I think we haven’t recommended the first one before!

Title: Snap Me That
Author: wearingaberetinparis
Rating: Not rated
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: ~
Summary: University AU

Title: Shipped by the Public
Author: doopilydo
Rating: Not rated
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: ~
Summary: Prince James and Princess Lily are shipped hardcore by the people. They’ve never met. The strength of the will of the public brings them together. 

Title: Undercover
Author: thequibblah
Rating: K
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 2,861
Summary: “Who said we had to be subtle? It’s not like either of us works for MI6.” “You won’t fool me into snapping into spy mode by bringing it up!” “Are you asking me to step up my game?” “Prick,” Lily says through gritted teeth. “Challenge accepted.” Muggle spies-posing-as-high-school-teachers AU. 

Title: Untitled
Author: thornfield13713
Rating: Not rated
Genre(s): Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: ~
Summary: It is a truth universally acknowledged that Professor Evans and Professor Potter are the one true OTP of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. However little known the feelings or views of the professors may be to the student body of Hogwarts at large, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of their students that it is considered almost sacrilegious to ship either Professor Evans or Professor Potter with anyone but each other.

Title: Blind Dating
Author: MPPmaraudergirl
Rating: T
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: ~16,000
Summary: Jily Muggle AU: After being set up on a blind date neither agreed to, Lily and James decide that fake dating and staging a horrendous breakup would be the perfect pay-back for their friends’ scheme. But after a while, who can say what’s real and what’s fake?

Title: Untitled
Author: fetchalgernon
Rating: K
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count:~
Summary:“our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and didn’t tell us it was a blind date, so instead of getting to know each other we spent the entire ‘date’ scheming against them and decided an awesome way to get back at them would be to pretend to date and then have a horrendous breakup but now that we’re two months into this charade we’re not sure what’s real and what’s fake anymore” AU

Title: Untitled
Romance, Humour
Word Count:
19. Our Grandmother’s are trying to set us up AU

Title: Christmas Lights
Not rated
Romance, Humour
Word Count:
Got stuck on the roof putting up Christmas lights AU

Title: Meeting the Marauders 
Author: PoppyPotter
Rating: T
Genre(s): Romance
Chapters: 10
Word Count: 49,864
Summary: Or how Mr Evans was forced to spend Christmas with four raving lunatics, had his life turned upside down and was forced to make his precious daughter go on a date.

Title: Give Me Some Time
Author: takeharryandgo
Rating: Not rated
Genre(s): Romance, Humour, Muggle AU, Modern AU
Chapters: 1
Word Count: ~
Summary: Modern AU. I got the idea from one of those posts with multiple AU prompts–hope you enjoy my version of rockstar/groupie (+coffee shop ;))

Title: A Dying Wish
Author: pupparoux
Rating: T
Genre(s): Romance
Chapters: 15
Word Count: 47,781
Summary: Lily Evan’s grandmother wants only one thing from Lily before she dies…she wants to meet Lily’s boyfriend. So Lily rises to the occasion, and who does she bring? Why none other than our favorite… James Potter.

Title: Arm Candy
Chie (Chierafied)
Celebrity AU, Muggle AU, Humour
Word Count:
“I really don’t need a date,” Lily had protested to her agent from the start, biting out the words from between her gritted teeth. “It’s the twenty-first century. My value should be determined by my performance, not by my ability to land a man.”  But Mary, stubborn as she was, had not come around. “You’re getting an award, Lily, you can’t well go to the ceremony alone.”

Title: #Jily
Author: Chie (Chierafied)
Rating: T
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 2,991
Summary: Twitter seemed awash with the hashtag Jily. Lily blinked at in confusion, until she realised it was one of those silly couple monikers people had bestowed on her and Potter. …Though there was a small dissenting crowd following a tweet from Potter’s bandmate Sirius Black: Jily? Hah! More like LAMES.

Title: Key Limes
Author: cgner
Rating: T
Genre(s): Romance, Humour
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 24,695
Summary: In which Academy Award winner Lily Evans discovers the periphery of internet fandom and the existence of Prince James’s gold star system.

Title: Upside Down
Romance, Drama
Word Count:
Lily’s pop star career seems to be hitting a rut, until her publicity team comes up with the perfect plan- a fake relationship with James Potter, frontman of the hot new boyband The Marauders. Lily’s less than enthused- last time she and James were in the same room together, there was vomit involved, all over her nicest pair of shoes. After a few dates, however, lines begin to blur, and suddenly things between them don’t seem to be just PR anymore…

Title: Sovereign Affairs
Author: BookWorm77071  
Rating: T
Genre(s): Family, Romance
Chapters: 20
Word Count: 57,543
Summary: Modern Jily AU for the Jily Royalty Fest. Lily is the illegitimate sister of Duke Sirius and Prince Regulus, and is summoned to the Slytherin Palace to take her place by Prince Orion on his deathbed. With the help of her new friends, Lily learns what it means to be a Princess, and just what it is that makes a family.


I wasn’t sure how to completely romance both Gil & Reyes at the same time, so I decided to do a sort of speed run to make sure I wouldn’t mess up my game. I’ve played it until before after the last main mission & finally found the right pattern of missions to get it to work. The way I did it triggers both of their “main” romance scenes (Ryder’s room & Kadara cave) (I’ll play the last quest tonight (……or in two days whoops, sorry guys about to start playing right now) & update this with any scenes/conversations affected by the Gil & Reyes romance at the end)

UPDATED/COMPLETE: I finished the main story and added on to the end!!! tldr; Everything seems to work out! ♥

STEPS & MISSION ORDER: (under a cut cause of spoilers + it’s really long)

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anonymous asked:

I'd like to request headcanons for Viktor, Yuuri, and Yurio on how they feel and react when they first visit their s/o who lives in New York City please!

This is unique! I don’t know if it really falls in the long distance series, but you can imagine that if you want! Thank you for the request :3

[Viktor Nikiforov]

  • Spending time in New York with Viktor would be the greatest experience ever like 10/10 would recommend
  • He’s going to be so polite and chipper to the people who are rude to him on the street, kindly ignoring their negative spirits
  • omfg just imagine someone yelling at him for being in the way and then he’s like “oh my sorry i didn’t think me standing here would be such an inconvenience! my bad! :)”
  • He’s going to want to do anything and everything New York has to offer, and you’re going to be his tour guide
  • Viktor will probably force you to see a Broadway show with him, and you’ll probably end up going to a ballet, too
  • He will want to take so many pictures with you everywhere; he’ll post them all on Instagram and share his adventures with the one he loves most
  • omfg just please take him sightseeing please please i promise it’ll be lit as fuck and so precious
  • Besides all of the actives and such to do, Viktor will love nothing more than coming home at the end of the day and winding down in your home, just enjoying the time being spent with you

[Yuri Katsuki]

  • This small-town boy will be out of his element in such a big city, but it’s worth it to go see your beautiful face
  • He is going to be so overwhelmed with the amount of people and the loud noises that ring throughout the city tbh
  • and you know he’s going to be such a cute bean in his little mask to protect himself from smog and illness omfg
  • Yuri is going to be attached to your hip the entire time, holding your hand and basically molding his body against yours to make sure he does’t get separated from you
  • but like by accident you wandered away from him at a store and within five minutes he sent you fifteen texts and left like six voicemails ugh babe you’re precious but chill
  • He wants to visit an outdoor ice rink and take you skating because he figures it’s an easy way to have an excuse to hold onto you while you skate, but you don’t mind
  • Yuri mostly wants to just walk the streets with you and show you off, as well as visit all of the fancy and interesting restaurants to try new foods
  • He never quite becomes accustomed to the hustle and bustle of New York, but Yuri knows it’s worth it if he can see you

[Yuri Plisetsky]

  • Bringing this boy to New York would be utter chaos but probably one of the best decisions you could ever make honestly
  • He may or may not get into some fights with some passersby, depending on the mood he’s in
  • lmao but just saying he totally will try to fight with someone if they cross him and it’ll be hilarious probably
  • The first place he’s gonna want to go is definitely designer clothing stores
  • Chanel, Gucci, Prada, you name it and he’s fucking THERE
  • Shopping with you and buying you clothes would be the highlight of the visit, not to mention any fashion shows you manage to get into
  • and let’s be real you’re gonna basically have a new wardrobe by the time he’s through with you lmao
  • When it comes down to it, he really just likes spending time with you and dressing you up; he’ll surely be visiting you in New York way more often


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So the Lapidot Anniversary week finally began 8D !! I’m so glaaaad.

I’m sorry in advance  this post will be really long

Probably no one knows this, but I’ve been in this fandom for about 2 years, despite the fact I started watching last december -or last october if I count the firsts episodes before stopping-.

Before watching, I was just looking at fanart in my FB feed, and saw a lot of Lapidot fnarts. I was like “Oh damn they’re cute !!” and was randomly saving pictures. I was sometimes reading comments, looking at memes…To a point where I was like “But, wait. They’re together right ?”. I seriously thought they were a couple before watching.

When I was  finally watching, after Peridot’s arc I wanted her to live with everyone and was sad she decided to stay in the barn because it meant we would see her less often.

But then there was this beautiful episode called Barn Mates .

I was like “Oh wait so Lapis is gonna live here too ?! YES OMG YEEES”

Even if we wouldn’t be able to see them often, well they’d still be living together so that’s cool ?!

But then I saw how Lapis was in this episode and…kinda fet sad for Peri ? I could understant Lapis but well

I spent the episode internally yelling “PLEASE LAPIS LOOK HOW SHE’S TRYING DON’T YOU SEE SHE LIKES YOU” and kinda almost cried and melted when Peridot left because she wanted so bad to make her happy she gave up her own home (that, remember, she found first)

Then Lapis saved her and my heart almost exploded.

You see, even if it started kinda bad, well, look at how it is now. This is one of the most precious ships I’ve even been interested too.

And tbh this is not the only one that started like this, actually some ships I like/used to like sometimes started even worse and still became canon…

I could make you a list of ships I love and are a little like Lapidot and they’re all canon come on make the list complete lmao

…Now. Let me explain” what the actual fuck is going on with this drawing ?”

For the first day, I didn’t really want to do some ship material, I have the whole week for this, I just wanted to…start slow y’know ? I also didn’t want to do something like a screencap redraw. So I basically made a “what happened when they finally started to live together” or something like an alternate end
This may look a little off topic BUT there’s a stupid rommate story story behind this - beside the pun on the title-

For some reason one day, I don’t remember why, I thought “I’m sure Peri would play as Megaman in Smash Bros. Lapis could be Zelda and-” something then came into my mind.

One of my best friends -and ex-roommate- is a huge fan of Smash Bros (actually he’s just a Nintendo fanboy, say hi dude :3), and we spent a lot of time playing this game. A while ago my main was Zelda and one of his most used characters was Megaman.And there was 2 things that this little bastard loves to do as Megaman : either discreetly putting a bomb on me and then saying “Hey, hey, guess what ?! BOOM 8D” while I’m on fire or constantly throwing lemons because why not.

Aaaand when this memory came back just after this I felt the need to draw this

Also what makes this even funnier, is that ou respectives colors are the same :v I love blue to a point where most of my stuff is blue and, well, same for him but green.

-And yes now Peri and Lapis own a wii U fite me-

(oh yes and i forgot - boop @lapidot-anniversary-week )

The Salt Mine I discovered

TL;DR: TouKen trolls are attacking and not reading. They don’t seem to grasp that I can be critical of a poorly founded relationship.

Full opinion/last say on this 100% under the cut for those that want more or give a shit.

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justiceinstripes  asked:

Dadster headcannons and thoughts?

Okay, so. I don’t headcanon Gaster to be Sans and Papyrus’ dad, but luckily you didn’t mention anything about that! So I’ll just stick to Gaster and his S/O having a child. By the way, this is post-void gaster, so he’s already been in the void and then been spit back up again. 

Pre-void, he was a heartless man with no time for romance and definitely not something as moronic as kids. A waste of his time. He was a smart-ass and exclusively devoted to his work, nothing and no one could change him. Until he fell into the void and got back up, of course.

  • First off, your lovely (former) Royal Scientist here is a very neglectful man. He’s a workaholic, always working on something in the lab, forgetting to eat and rest and even pay attention to his lovely partner/child.
  • Of course, as soon as the kid or you need him, he’ll drop everything he has and crash through the wall in the labratory to run home to you. If you ask (beg) really nicely (start crying) he’ll take a vacation from his job to try to take care of your child with you.
  • By the way, you’re unbelievably important to him if he decides to have kids with you. He can barely shake other peoples hands without needing to sterilize himself and the entire house afterwards. So a little kid, running around with dirt everywhere, snotty nose and muddy boots? He’ll have a bad time if that kid doesn’t get raised properly according to him.
  • But, he had absolutely no experience whatsoever when it comes to raising a kid, and he sucks at picking up the signs that it needs to be fed or sleep.
  • Why didn’t I mention changed? Well, that’s where his incredible sense of smell comes in. Disgusting, yeah? Well, it’s a bonus for you, because he’ll clean that little brat up in a heartbeat, if it means it can be clean. He needs everything to be clean. Everything.
  • He’s not a good dad but he can be a pretty funny one. 
  • You’ll find him trying to teach your three month old child how to calculate the square root of 78.
  • The first couple of years will probably be hard for you, with Gaster passing your kid to you every five minutes, confused about why it’s crying because he already changed it five times, what does he do?
  • When the kid says the first word in front of Gaster, he’ll calmly walk outside and then, three seconds later, he’ll somehow crash through the ceiling. “I will repair that, I promise”. He does. eight minutes later and he’s sitting on the couch with his child and the ceiling is better than new.
  • No matter how old the kid is, if they start crying, he just assumes they need a shower. Don’t ask how he came to that conclusion.
  • Sometimes he may forget that they’re still a child, so when they come to him, 4 years old, and asks what sex is, he sits them down and brings out the chalk board. 
  • When your kid’s about to go to school, first day of every school year, Gaster will always drive them there, list up all the stuff they need and they’ll check every item. He’s gonna start dusting their shoulders, shedding a tear because his baby’s so big now, time passes so quickly. Sniffle, dramatic sparkles. “Dad stop”… he doesn’t stop.
  • The first date is no different, except Gaster will be making a very frightening face at their date, all the while quietly and sneakily slipping some condoms into your kids bag. “Dad STOP”… he will never stop. 
  • On the bright side, his weirdly… weird nature somehow teaches your kid about responsibility.
  • He’ll try to help them with homework, he really will. But every time a question is asked, he completely derails and end up talking about how the connection between remote and TV works. “Dad I asked what 24 times 62 is” oh that’s easy! … Wait, now they’re discussing the anatomy of sharks.
  • He’s probably the most supportive goop you’ll ever meet. Oh, the kid’s anatomically a boy but identifies as a girl? Let’s go shopping! Kid’s not heterosexual? Cool, Let’s talk about different kinds of protection!
  • He’ll, ahem, “take care of it” if anyone ever bullies his precious child in any way. Don’t let him. People will go missing. If you let him take care of it, please ignore the ominous sounds coming from your basement. But please stop him and talk with someone instead.
  • All in all, Gaster is a horrible father at the start, but he somewhat learns. He’s super dramatic sometimes and he watches too many cliché movies, but he tries and the kid loves him.
  • Wait, did he ever go back to work?

i don’t talk about this at all, but since i’ll be gone for some time and everything… maybe this will help someone

i’ve suffered from anxiety since i was fifteen (exactly for six years). before i turned fifteen, i was content and successful in my pursuit of becoming a doctor. i always wanted to become a gynecologist, it was my biggest dream and it still is to this day - specializing in childbirth, treating and counseling people with uteri throughout their pregnancy, from giving prenatal diagnoses to delivery and postpartum care - to just help people with uteri with their fertility, sexuality, and other issues; to nurture something i’m familiar with and to have my own clinic one day. i got into the most famous medical hospital in my country. i had so many friends, i was strong and confident. i laughed easily and often, and felt as if i had the good life all figured out. then shortly after i turned fifteen, a severe anxiety episode hit me like a ton of bricks. looking back, i can see how it came about, how several sad events stacked upon themselves until i finally collapsed under their weight, but at the time i felt annihilated, ploughed over, and destroyed virtually overnight. to struggle to get out of bed every day - but you can’t. all you need to do is turn off your alarm, get up, and go on with the day. instead, you hide under your covers, avoiding life. you’ve lost jobs, friends, and a whole more - but still, you can’t make yourself do it. that was basically half of my puberty. i became addicted to nicotine, i’d go out with a new group of people every night - nightclubs, rave parties & bars. i was pretty popular in the blocks at that time, but i hated it so much. it was all pure fakery - i was trying to cure myself, but alas i just made it worse. i didn’t want to talk to my mom or my sister about my mental health - the shame. i was ashamed of myself. they were so worried about me, but i just pushed them away because i was ashamed of who i was. surprisingly, i was doing great at school despite everything. when i turned 18, another anxiety episode slapped me across my face. i spent the next year steeped in profound physical, emotional, and mental anguish. despite years of evidence to the contrary, when i couldn’t get myself off the couch for one damn year, when i couldn’t enjoy any activity anymore, and when i couldn’t smile genuinely at anyone or anything, i truly thought that this was my actual self, my real personality - that i was boring, unmotivated, useless, an anomaly; that i was weak, and that all of this was my fault. but one day i looked at my mother and my sister - so many people suffer with their families… so many people live with abusive and unhealthy families. the way they yell at them, undress them, beat them and curse them for every little mistake - i took a closer look at both of them and couldn’t believe how lucky i was. i was grateful for their kindness, they loved me so much. for the first time in years i told them i loved them, they melted because they couldn’t believe i finally… i finally started trusting them. my mother once said that there is a light everyone that never goes out, even when they die. i craved that light - i knew my thoughts were lying to me. the thing is, when you are used to trusting your thoughts and being self assured and confident, it takes a long time to realize that the torrent of negativity in your brain may not be an accurate representation of reality, but even through the worst of it, there was a tiny sliver of me that knew that something was wrong, that i needed to deal with this, that this was unhealthy and that this wasn’t me. i decided to fight back.

i had to make a decision: was i going to let anxiety collar me up and take me out for walks whenever it so chose, or was i going to reverse roles and become the master of my own life? was i going to have something to hold on to? i wanted to live and make something of my life. i wanted to make my mother, sister and my friends proud, but i also wanted to make myself proud. i owed that to myself.

my mother passed away last year - pure grief. and the thing about grief is that it’s one of those emotions that have a life of their own. it carries every feeling within it and sometimes there’s no way to discern it, also don’t forget to add anxiety on top of the cake. we question everything - our identity, who we are, where we come from, and where we’re going, but there is power in surrendering to the unknown. i believe that our loved ones who passed away transform into something else and move on to the next stage of life. they’re still here, but not in the same way as before. they’re in everything we have learned from them, in their creations, in their children, in our hearts and memories. the same goes with us - we are not, and less about what we think we are or what we know. here, on this planet, that’s great freedom. and it helps us to meet life’s adversity with courage, head-on. “there is a light in everyone that never goes out, even when they die”. i witnessed her last breath and that sight will never leave my head. but… when she left, something new came. it knocked against my forehead and i kindly let it inside my head - then i realized it wasn’t anything new. it was her knowledge, her wise and kind words. she passed away, but i still feel her light - it hasn’t died and it never will. my light is still not ready, but i have hers. witnessing her last breath made me realize how precious this life actually is. she gave me this life, she taught me how to think with my head, she sacrificed herself to push my sister and me through the good and the bad. when they buried her, i realized that life is to be lived, because one day - and we all know the adage - we will die. that may sound scary, but death made me realize that. it matured me. it brought me wisdom. it strengthened my bones. it taught me to let go, despite my anxiety.

so if you’re reading this and… if you’re someone who feels like a miserable piece of shit, you need to remind yourself why you’re here - what’s keeping you alive? all those questions - what do you think? what do you feel? what do you want? what is useful? what have you always found meaningful? why is that so meaningful to you? what talents has the universe given you? why are those talents important? what are your dreams? why are those dreams important? when and where have you found joy in your life? why did you find joy in that? what’s the truth? nobody except you knows the truth and the truth can be hard to take, but it puts you on solid ground. you can walk forward on solid ground. from my point of view, the truth is that i believe it’s the voice deep in your heart that keeps you going, day after day. it’s what compelled you to even read this long post. it’s the stirring up inside of you that wonders at a brighter tomorrow. the will to live - to experience, to touch, to see, to taste. is that the meaning of life? what even is the meaning of life? why the fuck did i even mention all those questions? well, let’s say you remembered when you were meditating and felt a deep connection to the universe (meditating, dancing, writing, drawing, running, talking about a certain something or someone, playing games - whatever keeps you connected). now, you have to ask yourself “why was that so meaningful to me?”. our most meaningful memories are usually of very short periods of time - a day, perhaps, but more often just a couple of hours, or maybe just a few minutes or even seconds. when we remember a special holiday, it’s the special moments in that holiday we recall, not checking in at the airport or going through security. the thing is… we often want guarantees, that life will treat us well, that others will treat us well, that we will rise to our own expectations. but life has few guarantees. many of us take for granted that we’ll wake up healthy in the morning until we have a reason to believe otherwise. we take moments for granted, we take life for granted but what we don’t realize is that life is about moments. by making moments count, we can make an hour to remember. by making hours to remember, we make days full of joy. by making days full of joy, we make a life of happiness.. look around and see what’s precious. clear your head of all the little things that won’t matter down the line, when you’re looking back at all the times you cherished the most in life, and find a reason to make this moment one of them.


Accidental Fusion - a fanfic

I’m too freakin deep in this fandom -throws this- I can’t believe I spent time on this and ok with it what is my life coming to, I’m kidding this was quite the experience… ba dum tish… Alright so I really liked the third possibility/idea on your post of how they discovered fusion and I lost control and wrote this.

I’m way to shy/embarrassed to submit this via my tumblr account but just here (I mean unless you want to know who I am then I’ll message you). I haven’t written a fanfiction since I was 13 so I hope I wrote everyone in character enough I always worry about that. Hope you like and enjoy

and I may have slipped a little gay shipping in there shh


“Aaand that should be all, enjoy your new base guys…” the woman in purple stated ending the tour as her and the group of men behind her returned back to the main lobby of the base. She continued in a dispirited tone despite her rather upbeat talk during the guided tour, “you know, until we have to move again… in case someone blows it up until there’s nothing but dust…” Pauling sighed, exasperated as if she had to clean up the mess. She took another breath in before turning back to the group, “If there are any concerns, please. Please. Let me know, ok? So we can take care of it. Quickly. And not let it destroy the base or any person, ok?” She paused, praying that everyone understood. When they gave either sounds or motions of approval, she nodded, thankful, “Good. Now I have to hurry–”

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[Miraculous Ladybug]: That Awkward Moment When...

I finally got the last chapter done!! So sorry that this took so long, but I’m only just started to get adjusted to my new schedule for the semester. But this story is finally done! Thank you so much for all of the notes you’ve been giving this story, I really appreciate all the support. I’m glad that you all enjoyed the ride :)

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6]

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: That Awkward Moment When…

Summary: “Marinette wasn’t an idiot. As many precautions as she insisted they take, she knew she and Chat Noir were both going to find out sooner or later. Of course, Marinette assumed that the way they’d found out wasn’t by running right smack into each other and detransforming in front of the other. So of course, in a typical calm and rational manner, they pointed to each other and screamed.”

Because, nine times out of ten, letting the cat out of the bag just ends up being very, very awkward.

Day 7: Free for All - “Courage”

“What did I tell you? Our Instagram is blowing up! A hundred thousand likes and counting. Just from one selfie. Oh man, we should totally film ourselves! Exclusive Ladybug and Chat Noir footage? We’ll get so many followers.”

“This coming from the person who says that maintaining his Adrien Agreste Instagram is soulless and exhausting .”

Adrien snorted. “That’s because it is soulless and exhausting.” He lifted his hands and started air quoting. “In makeup, getting ready for my shoot! Hashtag: that modelling life. Hashtag: makeup. Hashtag: fashion. Hashtag: style. Hashtag: die. Hashtag: kill me. Hashtag: get me out of here.”

“That’s not very nice to the few hundred thousand followers you have that probably read all of your tags and relish those days when you’re getting your contour done.”

“Of which you are one of them, you hypocrite!”

“Um, your father is a fashion genius. You bet your modelling butt I’m gonna follow you and see what kinds of shoots he’s putting you into.” Marinette grabbed his phone from his hand and switched screens to Adrien’s personal account. “Besides, I find your food posts way more interesting.”

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Sorry to hear that tumblr kinda screwed you over :( screwed me too because it lost my last request to you. Could I have Makoto crushing hard on his best friend (besides haru duh) so iwatobi keep trying to set them up? Thanks - love you <3

guys. guys/. guys. i went off topic (also here to not promise a regular posting schedule BUT LOOK I’M WRITING AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?!)

“Staring at people while they’re eating is a little strange, Makoto…”

Nagisa’s voice snapped Makoto out of his trance-like state, grounding his thoughts.  He hadn’t even realised just how long he’d been staring at you, but everyone sat about him had nearly finished their lunches; he wasn’t even aware that lunch time had started more than a few minutes ago.

“Hey, Makoto, you ok?”

Now it was you, calling out to him… He wished you’d call out to him more.

Yeah, ‘cause that’s not creepy, Makoto.

“He’s probably just tired from studying, right, Haruka?” Rei chimed in, and Makoto’s attention was fully drawn away from the object of his affections. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted his phone light up with a message, but before he could check it, Haruka responded, moving his thoughts away from the screen.

“Mm… Probably.” Although his words were nonchalant, Haru’s gaze was suspicious. This wasn’t the first time that Makoto had been ‘out of it’ recently, and it only ever seemed to happen when a certain person was around - you.

“Mm, speak of the devil, we’ve got a study period next, Haru, Makoto. I think I have to get a textbook from my locker, but I’ll see you two there!”

Packing away the remainders of your lunch, you flung your bag over your shoulder, waving towards the still-sitting group. Makoto felt almost immobilised, a feeble wave his only recognition of your departure. His brain was desperately trying to figure out exactly when you had begun to enchant him so, exactly when his heart had begun racing when in your presence… You’d just been a friend to him for the longest time, and yet, here he was, staring and fantasising; wishing you were his.


Now it was Haruka, eyes narrowed in concern as he gazed inquisitively at his friend. Makoto knew that he wasn’t behaving normally - being around you was becoming troublesome…

“Ah… I’m fine, Haru. Shall we go?”

“You haven’t eaten much.” Looking down, Makoto took in the sight of his abandoned lunch - he was quite a slow eater as it was, but he may as well have not eaten, going by the state of his bento.

“It’s fine, I can eat some more in the study period!” Reassuring a concerned Haruka, he chuckled, hurriedly stowing away his remaining lunch in his bag. “____ will be waiting for us, though, so we should probably make a move…” He wasn’t sure that he’d be able to get through the study period with you sat next to him, but any time spent with you was precious to him - even if it was spent looking over a psychology textbook.

Speaking of his psychology textbook…

“Hey, Haru, have you seen my textbook? I thought I had it in my bag…” Rummaging through his bag, Makoto began to worry - the last thing he needed was to end up borrowing your textbook; that would mean getting closer to you, having to lean over you to see the words, having to-

“Oh, it’s here, Makoto!” Rei, perhaps a little too conveniently, handed over the textbook, which, for whatever reason – Makoto didn’t care to think of it at that moment in time – had been in Rei’s own pile of textbooks.

“Thank you, Rei!” Shoving the book into his bag, he turned to leave. “See you two later!”

Makoto had turned his back before he could see the mischievous glint in Nagisa’s eyes, the quick murmur to Rei, and the latter’s swift disagreement – which was ignored, as usual –  Haruka, however, caught every movement, and couldn’t help but wonder what Nagisa had planned.

You weren’t sure why Haruka had suddenly left to participate in ‘pool maintenance’ in the middle of the study period, but the lack of his presence had left Makoto in quite a state, for whatever reason.

“Are you sure you understand that, Makoto?” Looking down at the diagram beneath you frowned. Makoto didn’t usually struggle when it came to biopsychology, but, this time, he wasn’t doing so great. “You’ve confused the hippocampus and the amygdala. They’re pretty different things, I thought-”

“A-ah! Sorry, ____… Just distracted, is all!” Before you could correct his mistake, he reached for the sheet, frantically tearing it away from underneath you. Eyeing him, you gently prodded his abdomen.

“Hey… You doing ok? You seem a little distracted.” His eyes were darting about, hands clutching onto the side of his seat. Maybe it was just the stress, getting the best of him? He’d never been like this, before, though… You’d already talked with him about the future, universities, jobs - he wasn’t still concerned about Haruka, right? Placing a hand on his shoulder – and choosing to ignore his startled jump – you decided to ask.“Is this about-”

“____!! ____!!” Nagisa, flushed and panting from exertion, ran into the empty classroom, interrupting your sentence and drawing you away from a rather grateful Makoto. Despite his obvious fatigue, presumably from running, Nagisa was grinning, eyes sparkling as he plopped down onto the seat opposite you. Taking a moment to catch his breath, Nagisa held out a single hand, gesturing for you to wait. “Makoto told me to deliver these to you, ____! Never would’ve guessed he’d be here, too…”

You noticed Makoto freeze up besides you, and your curiosity was piqued.

“Deliver what?”
“Deliver what?!”

Makoto’s voice echoed your own, but he seemed to be more panicked than anything, large frame leaning over the desk in an attempt to see what Nagisa was pulling from his bag.


Raising an eyebrow at the oddly synchronous speech of you and Makoto, Nagisa placed the box on the table, and opened it. You were touched, at first, that Makoto – or at least, you thought it was him, but you didn’t really have a clue – would go to such lengths to convince Nagisa to collect and deliver these, but odd, vibrantly iced letters caught your attention. They looked as though they were supposed to make up a sentence, but the majority of the words necessary were missing, rendering the efforts null.

“… What?”

The grin was wiped off Nagisa’s face as he whipped the box around to face him, exclaiming in despair at something. “Nooo… I forgot to get the other boxes…” His hands dragged down his face as he fell to the table, crushing the doughnuts in the process. You didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, and by the looks of Makoto, nor did he. Casting a sideways glance at each other before moving to console the distraught – and doughnut covered – Nagisa, you didn’t even notice Haruka slip into the room, until he spoke up.

“Check your phone, ____.”

“No, that was meant for later, Haru!” Nagisa’s voice, slightly muffled, protested, and he drew his face from the desk, covered in powdered sugar and jam.  You glanced at your phone, noticing a new message from Makoto. As if the last few minutes hadn’t been enough, now this?

‘Did you agree? I hope you agreed. Makoto’s been a mess around you for a while now and it’s not very pleasant. Nagisa told me to write this as if I were Makoto, but I don’t know how he’d do this… Please agree. It’ll make him very happy, and that would also make us happy.’

The message, obviously not from Makoto, was cryptic at best, and your brain was scrambling to put the pieces together.

“What’s going on, here?” Makoto, who had been reading the message over your shoulder, had gone awfully quiet, sinking back into his chair with a white face and a meek smile. “Makoto, do you know what’s going on?” He looked towards Haruka briefly, only to swallow nervously as the latter narrowed his eyes at him.

“N-not… Particularly?” The colour was returning to his face at an alarming pace, and his eyes were avoiding yours, finding his own hands rather fascinating, all of a sudden.

“That’s not quite true, is it, Makoto?”

“Oh for the love of-” At this point, you weren’t even surprised that Rei was here. Whatever the hell was going on, the three of them – perhaps even four, although Makoto looked as though he were on the verge of fainting – were in on it together.

“Rei!! I thought you wouldn’t come!” Nagisa,

Rei glared sharply at Nagisa, taking in the state of his face and tutting discreetly. Ignoring Nagisa’s animated gestures towards the pair of you, he shoved a finger towards the open psychology textbook in front of Makoto.

“… Check his textbook, page 73.”

At this point, you were convinced that Rei had somehow formed an origami lockbox just from the paper inside the textbook, and you’d have to strip-search Makoto to find the key, and who knows, maybe there’d be more doughnuts inside- Where on earth did strip-searching Makoto come into the picture?

“W-wait! ____, I think that we should-”

“Makoto.” You took ahold of his outstretched hand as he reached to grab the textbook, and noticed how he was trembling. “Either you tell me what’s going on, or I open that textbook.” His eyes widened, his own large hand tightening around your own for a brief moment before letting go.

“I don’t know what’s going on… Just open the textbook, put us both out of our misery.” His shoulders slumped, a pained tone to his words crafting doubt in your mind - what was wrong with him? Had he been hiding something from you? Letting the pages flit down to the cover of the book, you landed dead on page 73, and were greeted by a stuck-in note.

’____, by this point, I am almost certain both Nagisa and Haruka have failed in their tasks. If they have not, then please do not tell them I wrote that. On behalf of everyone here, and Makoto himself, will you please… Please, enter a relationship with him beyond friendship? I believe he has strong romantic feelings for you, and it would definitely be mutually beneficial-’

The writing went on for quite some time, but you needed no more.


He didn’t even look like he was present in that moment - eyes of a scared child looked back at your own, and you realised quite how much this meant to him. Were you truly so dense as to not notice feelings of this magnitude? Even though the confession had not come directly from him – hell, he hadn’t even had any part in these plans, from the looks of things – the reality of his feelings was quite evident.

“I-I’d understand if you didn’t want to, um, to d-date me. It’s fine. We’re good friends, and we could definitely… Stay that way?”

“Oh Makoto…” You couldn’t help but smile, bringing a hand up to his face. “You’re some sort of angel, I swear…” The look on his face could only be described as grateful; he looked as though he could have kissed you right then. “I’m surprised I didn’t notice the signs earlier, to be honest, it all seems terribly clear now.”

“Yeah, that’s why we-”

“Please be quiet, Nagisa.” He immediately shut up as you reprimanded him, although continued to giggle softly. “Either way- It’s a lot to take in all at once, but hey,” taking one of Makoto’s hands in your own, you grinned. “everything’s worth a try once, and I could see this working out.”

“I could see us working out.”

anonymous asked:

Anon who loves Jason Todd more than life. But you wanted fic ideas so I'm here to help! Jason Todd and Damian patrolling together because Dick is busy and Tim is busy and Bruce with the League. So Jay and Dami patrol together and Jay actually wants to be a brother in some way to Dami but like Jays a dork so he's not sure how??? So just awkward Dami and Jay interaction. You're a gem. 😁

I’ve had this request sitting in my inbox longer than I want to admit, but at last I’ve finished it! I’m so sorry about the wait for this one Anon.


Warnings: none

Words 3k+

Jason wasn’t supposed to be there. He was supposed to be at the store, picking up a few groceries before patrol. Somehow his feet, or rather his motorcycle, had carried him to the manor instead. He hadn’t wanted to cook, and he’d wanted fast food even less. Some part of him had been craving Alfred’s home cooked dinner and he’d given into it. It had been too long since he’d dropped by. Plus, there was little stopping him these days with his mending relationship with Bruce, slow as it was.

He hadn’t been supposed to walk in on an argument.

“I can handle myself for one night Father. I was gone for a year and you barely noticed.”

“I barely noticed because for most of that year I had little to no memory. No means no, Damian.”

The contrasting and yet oddly similar voices of father and son carried to Jason from the living room and he hesitated at the door unsure of what he was walking into. The inviting smell from the kitchen and his stomach’s protest convinced him to attempt to sneak past the disagreement.

He slung his helmet on to the coat rack and strolled inside, hands tucked into his pockets. He only meant to cast a brief glance into the living room on his way by, instead he found himself staring at Damian. The Batbrat had gotten taller. Not by much, but enough to notice. Had he really not been around that long? That Damian had grown an inch or so while he was away?

He realized too late that he’d stopped at the mouth of the room instead of passing by. Damian was the first to spot him, his scowl at his father faltering into an almost smile before returning to its downturn. Bruce turned his head at Damian’s distraction and his shoulders dipped almost in relief at having a distraction from the argument.

From that alone Jason didn’t want to get tangled up in it. If they’d been at this for a while it meant either Damian or Bruce was close to snapping at the other. His mind told him to backtrack. Return to his initial decision to grocery shop. His hand went up in a wave and his mouth made the word. “Hey.”

“Jason. Alfred didn’t tell me you were coming for dinner.” Bruce said.

“He didn’t know.” Jason shrugged. “I only knew when I pulled up. Unless you don—” He didn’t get the chance to finish as Bruce waved a hand at him.

“You’re always welcome.” Bruce said.

“More so than Drake anyway.” Damian said, the ghost of a grin on his face.

Bruce glanced down at him. “What did I say about being nice even when your brothers aren’t around?”

Jason chuckled. “Its fine, B. Makes me feel appreciated.” And it did, Jason realized. His chest had warmed a little at the thought that Damian preferred him to Tim. That paired with his almost smile earlier had made him feel downright welcome. Damian didn’t warm well to others, and to have the kid happy to see him was nice.

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Thor: The Dark World (liveblog) [x]

In which Loki is a jealous little shit any time Thor’s attention is directed at someone else.  (Inspired by a conversation with thescentofwhiteroses) I apologize for the length, but I had a case to make!

Scene one.  Thor literally spent less than a day with the Avengers and yet Loki still seethes WELL SINCE YOU LIKE THEM SO MUCH when he changes into Captain America, like that is the worst splinter under his skin that Thor had made new friends (that weren’t him).

Scene two.  Loki staring creepily at Jane, partly for other reasons, but also because this is the woman that he thinks has softened his brother up.  He says it in the first movie, that he thinks it’s Jane that changed Thor’s attitude, so when he first meets her directly, he ramps up the creepy staring at this bug under a microscope, because why is Thor so fascinated with her (and not Loki)?

Scene three.  There is no other reason for Loki to give even half a shit about Thor getting into a relationship that’s only going to cause him pain.  Why does Loki even CARE if Thor loves her, given that he professes that they’re not even brothers, that they never were, that there’s nothing left between them?  And yet there he is, telling Thor all about how Jane is just a heartbeat in Thor’s life (unlike Loki).

Scene four.  NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU, LOKI.  But the way Tom delivers this, Loki is so offended that Thor’s attention wasn’t on him for five seconds, he’s petulant and cranky, like, there’s a reason it’s a running joke in fandom that Loki’s all THOR THOR THOR I’M READY THOR THOR THOR PAY ATTENTION TO ME THOR THOR THOR I’M SO FUCKIN’ READY THOR THOR THOR in this scene, because he is.  Who cares if Jane’s ready, LOKI IS.

If this had only happened once, or maybe even twice, I would be willing to chalk it up to one of those things where it was more open to interpretation, that it could have just been a fan reading into it what they wanted to see, that multiple interpretations were all just as valid as each other.  But I think it’s pretty clear that, even if this isn’t meant in a shipping sort of way, that Loki is demonstrably jealous any time Thor’s attention is on someone else for a significant amount of time—usually Jane.  And that’s thing about these scenes, they’re largely about Loki being jealous of Thor’s GIRLFRIEND.  It invites you to wonder just why Loki cares so very much that Thor has a girlfriend that he pays attention to.

Even then, I would be willing to hold up my hands and say, okay, it’s just a familial thing, Loki’s jealous, but that doesn’t mean it’s in a romantic way.  Except then I start to consider that there are other times that Loki’s relationship with Thor has been directly paralleled to romantic relationships—the neck grab that Thor only does with potential love interests, one that’s paralleled by Odin touching Frigga’s face, and then the way Thor holding Loki as he was dying is directly paralleled to the way Odin holds Frigga’s body.

Any one of these on their own isn’t that big of a deal.  Nor am I implying that Thor/Loki is actually canon, because I don’t think that’s what they were going for, I don’t think that’s even what they were maybe leaving the door open a bit for.  What I’m saying is, when you take out authorial intent (which is important, I’m not downplaying that!) the Thor/Loki relationship has a good amount of evidence to thematically and narratively tie it to romantic relationships in some pretty consistent ways.

One of the biggest of those is Loki’s jealousy—usually over Thor’s canon love interest—and how it seems to just bug the absolute shit out of him when Thor pays attention to other people.  For all that he says otherwise, whenever Thor’s attention strays from him, Loki gets entirely worked up, he gets furious or he gets cranky or he starts picking away at things until Thor’s paying attention to him again.

For all that this is a really unhealthy way to be a lot of the time, I can’t help but see it as something that has potential for good, that Loki’s desire for Thor’s attention will keep drawing them back together, that a little time and a little growing (given that I do sort of consider them to basically be teenagers and teenagers are often JEALOUS LITTLE SHITS) will ease up this desperate need to only have each other as the center of their worlds.

Thor is already better about this, he’s always been able to hold more people in his heart, that’s one of the best things about him.  He may love Loki the most dearly—which I think is true even in the MCU, because Thor always has the strongest, most intense scenes with him, you see that Jane practically fades into the distance when Loki is there for more than five minutes—but Thor loves many people.  Loki, however, only holds a very, very few people close to his heart.  Sometimes he only ever has Thor in his heart, that’s all he’s interested in caring about.

He may get better about that, he may not, but I think the important thing to take away from these scenes is:  Yeah, you just have to look at him and see that he is a wonderful, darling, precious, jealous little shit.

AN: ***Please read***Hello. I know that I have a ton of requests lined up, but I needed to write this. I learned yesterday that my cat, Janie, is going to be put down tomorrow. She has a cancer in her right cheek, making it nearly impossible to eat, yawn, or so much of anything else without extreme pain. She is, in every sense, the light that kept me going. I have always held her and cuddled with her when I was upset or sad, but she’s going to be gone. When she is gone and I need comforting, who am I going to be with? I needed to post and imagine that addressed this, it is very important to me that I express all of my worries, fears, and sorrow about her loss through what makes me the happiest: writing these.

 I am sorry for not writing the requests, I will get back to them as soon as I can, but it may take me a few days to adjust back to my normal self.

*This is a picture of Janie above. It took me forever to write this, I ended up sobbing periodically through the process.

Pairing: Reader X Avengers

Warnings: Death of a pet, very raw feelings of sadness and feeing alone.


“To My Love, Janie.”

It was finally happening. You knew it was coming one day, but when they told you…well, it felt too real.

Your cat, the one that you had raised and in a sense, grown up with, had to be put down.

She had been through everything with you; all the good times and the bad. She was, in every way, your best friend.

You locked yourself away in your room for hours, holding back tears until it hurt, then letting them run down your face freely as you muffled sobs. You didn’t want the others to know how much pain you were in. After all, it was just a cat right?

People would call you stupid and too emotional to be so upset over a pet, but you couldn’t help it. You had a huge hole in your heart as you thought about the next day; you were going to have to take her to be put to sleep.

Your cat jumped up on your bed and curled up in your lap, purring softly, but still noticeably in pain. You cringed and almost didn’t want to hold her, you felt like you were betraying her. She put her love and trust in you as her caretaker, and you were going to cut her life short the next day.

The vets told you that it was the best thing for her and that she would be suffering more than living if you didn’t do it, but it still felt cruel. You didn’t want to play god. How should you be able to take the life of something so innocent away?

When she licked the back of your hand, you lost it. Sobs rocked your body as you scooped her up in your hands and cradled her like a baby, this was your last night with the precious soul. You had spent years and years with her curled up next to your head, and even sometimes pushing you off the pillow so that she could sleep in the middle.

You knew that if you staid up much longer, you would make yourself sick, so you laid her down next to your pillow and flicked off your light. She licked your forehead as she settled in for the night, but all you could do was try to stick together for just one more night, for her last night.


It was done, and you were completely empty. Any emotion, anything at all that used to reside in you was drained.

You called a cab to take you back to the tower, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to drive yourself. When you got there, everyone was worried sick about you. You hadn’t told anyone where you were going or what you were doing, and you looked like a complete wreck.

“Y/N?” You heard Pietro’s voice call from the common room as you passed through, but you just kept walking. You didn’t have it in you to respond.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Nat walked up to you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, effectively stopping you. She must have seen the bags under your eyes and the tears staining your cheeks.

You bit your chapped lip so hard that it began to bleed, but you found little relief from the physical pain, the emotional still remained.

You shook your head and kept walking, shrugging off Nat’s arms. You felt a pit in your stomach begin to form, and nausea took over. You felt lightheaded.

“You don’t look so good.” Steve said as he wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you upright. “Something is very wrong, what happened?”

Tears, ones that you didn’t know remained in your body, burst from your eyes and down your face. Steve immediately wrapped his arms around you and held you, whispering stupid things like ‘it will be okay’.

Wanda, clearly seeing that you weren’t going to be able to tell anyone what was wrong, decided to search your mind and see for herself.

Her red eyes fell and her shoulders slumped when she saw what was upsetting you. She jumped up from her seat and gestured for Steve to carry you and follow her. Steve carried you to Wanda’s bedroom and laid you on her bed. He stood by your side, holding your shaking hands in his much larger, calmer ones.

“Her cat just passed away.” Wanda whispered to Steve, not really knowing if you could hear her. “She…she shouldn’t be in her own room right now, that will bring up too many memories at the moment.”

Steve’s hands squeezed yours, as if to let you know that he was there for you.

“Honey, do you want tea? Hot chocolate?” Wanda asked you, caressing your hair softly.

“Tea.” You choked out. and Pietro (whom you didn’t even see standing at the door) zoomed down the hall to put on the hot water.

Wanda left to explain to the others was wrong, all the while Pietro and Steve kept you company.

They tried to make you laugh and tell you cute stories, but also asked you about your cat. They asked you about your favorite memories with her, and the things you loved the most.

At first it was very painful to talk about, but after a while you realized something; you shouldn’t be focusing on the fact that she is no longer with you, you should be remembering everything she was, and how much you loved her.


In loving memory of Lady Jane Grey


It was 17 long, beautiful, amazing years with you babe. I love you Janie Baby.

Zuka Streaming PSA

I’ve been watching the 1789 debacle and I feel like some clarification for the…..passionate backlash is warranted.

1789 debacle = someone ripped a hardsub of @marie-isidore‘s 1789 stream and uploaded it to Facebook.

Warning: This is a Long Post

It’s no secret that Takarazuka puts on super lavish shows multiple times a year. Ever wondered how much those shows cost the company?

Millions. I can guarantee you that those shows cost them millions and millions of dollars. The only way that they can CONTINUE making these shows we love is if we, the fans support them. We do this by BUYING THEIR GOODS, THEIR DVDS, THEIR MAGAZINES. 

This sound a bit hypocritical to you, considering that I’m streaming all of these shows to you?

I stream because I want to spread the love of Takarazuka Revue. 

That’s the only reason why ANYONE in this fandom streams things. Not to encourage bootlegged copies, but to support the purchase of Takarazuka DVDs/Blurays. 

We stream things in the hopes of REDUCING the bootlegged material. 

Ironic, no?

But the fandom, ESPECIALLY the tumblr fandom, is very protective of subtitled material.

I’m sure you’ve all looked around for translated things, yeah? There’s a certain joy of being able to actually UNDERSTAND these beautiful shows, yeah?

And I’m also sure you’ve found that there aren’t many places that translations can be found. Sure, there are the individuals here and there that translate some articles and magazines but shows? FULL shows? With a well rounded translation and perfectly timed subtitles?

Those are scarce. Those are precious. 

And those should be respected and treated as the rarity they are.

@marie-isidore PERSONALLY translated 1789 in order to SHARE HER LOVE OF THAT MUSICAL (even though I think it’s a complete trainwreck oh my god). But she did it for you guys. FOR THE FANDOM. And to have someone swoop in and snatch a subtitled copy and have the gall to upload it to a different site WITHOUT her permission and most definitely WITHOUT her knowledge? 

That’s just incredibly disrespectful. Disrespectful of the work she put into translating the show, of the hours spent timing the subs to the video (I should know. You can spend 2 hours subtitling 10 minutes of video. A typical 2 hour show takes more than 8 hours to subtitle WITHOUT human error).

This goes for ANY of the translated material in the Takarazuka fandom. It doesn’t matter WHO translated it; it doesn’t matter if you got it from the TIP project, @zukalations, or from any single individual.

Always ask for permission when using a translation or subtitle file.

Remember, translators and subtitlers (and the rare breed that does both cough @marie-isidore​) get nothing out of what we do (other than a really interesting skillset, tbh). We don’t get paid. In fact, we may actually lose more money than most fans (not including ppl in fanclubs) buying scripts, CDs, and DVDs IN ORDER TO TRANSLATE AND SUBTITLE THEM. 

I’m not trying to point fingers at anyone for this incident, or any incident like this.

True, this situation had the unfortunate circumstance of coinciding with an influx of new fans from Takarazuka’s Chicago and Rurouni Kenshin. 


1789 is one of the more well known and popular shows, and therefore runs a higher risk of being snatched. This could literally have happened if @marie-isidore had streamed this a month ago rather than yesterday. Remember when someone ripped a Romeo et Juliette Zukalations hardsub from cytube? It’s an unfortunate trend with the big name shows.

The Takarazuka fandom is having an explosive growth period right now, so let’s continue to be as welcoming to the newcomers as we can.

Please don’t let a few bad apples spoil the bunch. 

However, don’t let the re-uploaders get away with it.

If you’ve got a link to someone’s work that’s been re-uploaded, let them know and if you can, try to help get the material taken down.


Because at the end of the day, what we transubbers and streamers are doing is, in fact, copyright infringement; it’s illegal. Hankyu (Takarazuka’s head company) could literally sue every single one of us for trying to make Takarazuka more accessible to Western fans.

So please, respect the streamers in the fandom.

Respect any sort of fan-creation you see and their creators.

These streams and translations aren’t a “right”; they’re a “privilege”.

Treat them as such. 


anonymous asked:

I LOVE your stories but they all seem to be set in the past! Could you do a story set in the present and not in the past without Frank if you could?

Hi Anon! Thank-you for reading my stories, I love that you love them as much as I do! I hope you enjoy my take on a Modern Jamie and Claire. 

Edit Jan.17: Second Posting to this story can be found here

    The rain pelted against his head as he stood in the town square waiting for her. Saying a quick curse as the water trickled from his scalp down his spine he couldn’t help berating himself, “Brilliant idea, Fraser! Try to impress the lass by wearing a kilt and leather jacket all while freezing your bullocks off. Just brilliant.”  
    Pulling out his mobile careful to shield the screen from the onslaught of rain, Jamie checked his recently missed calls, nothing. Texts, again nothing from Claire. Shifting from foot to foot in almost a hop, Jamie felt the goosebumps raise on all of his extremities as the wind picked up sending an icy spray up his kilt. “Jesus!” He exclaimed vainly trying to keep the soaked woolen fabric down.
    Thirty seconds since he last looked at his phone, still nothing. Where could she be? Was she standing him up? Nervous queasiness formed in the pit of his stomach as he frantically looked up and down the streets for any trace of Claire or a car she might be passenger in.
    “Where are you, Sassenach?” Jamie frowned down at his phone, another five seconds passed, still nothing.
     Tonight was to be their first official date despite having decided to date month prior. Between his round the clock deadlines and her surgical residency time was precious to them and normally was spent curled up at their shared apartment on the outskirts of Charlotte. Jamie smiled thinking of how they met outside a coffee shop six months ago.

    Of course he had been running late that day. His first day as an Investigate Journalist, and already failing to meet the most basic deadline, arriving to work on time. Jamie recalled one minute running across the street with the paper’s headquarters in sight, the next he was looking down into the strange whisky colored eyes of the most beautiful lass. An iced tea cup’s lid askew to his left, the contents soaking the curly brown hair of the lass beneath him.
    “Um, would you mind letting me go?” a soft English accented voice lilted up at him.
    Feeling his neck and face flush red, he let go of the woman and stood, proffering his hand to the lass. “I’m terribly sorry, I was—ah, well, I was no paying mind to where I was goin’.” The lass’s eyes widened at the sound of his accent as she stood.
    “You’re a Scot!”
    “Aye, last I checked and you are English if I ken my accents correct.” She smiled and nodded. “Aye, thought so and both of us use to the cold and mistin’ climates of the United Kingdom fatefully meet in the distant, muggy land of North Carolina.” He scowled then smiled relishing in her resulting laugh.
    “I’m Claire.”  She had said while squeezing the hand she had yet to release.
    “Pleasure, Claire. Name’s Jamie. I may be running a wee late for work, but it was my fault you are now wearing your tea instead of drinking it. Please let me buy you another?”
    He kept hold of her hand hoping she would let him stay with her a moment longer, even if it meant he was taken off print immediately.
    “You don’t need to bother with it. I have to be going, Frank is waiting on me. Perhaps another time?”
     “Oh, sorry lass, I dinna mean to keep you from someone.” His grip slacked but she tightened hers.
    Laughing she rifled through the bag that was slung across her body retrieving her phone. “Silly man, Frank is a beautiful black curly coated Labrador Retriever. Although since we’ve never met before it was an honest assumption, and I’ll forgive you for making it.” She had winked and handed the mobile to him. “Put your contact information in so I can take you up on that offer of tea, if it still stands?”
     He smiled and complied, knowing he would do anything to keep this woman smiling.

    “Jamie! What are you doing out in the rain you fool?” Claire’s voice jolted him to the present.
    “Waiting for you.” Unable to control the smile on his face he leaned down and kissed her open mouthed, cheeks turned up. “What took you so long, Sassenach. I thought you had mind to stand me up.”
    Smacking his chest Claire glared mockingly up at him. “The Uber driver got lost claiming he missed the turn-off due to this weather.” Rolling her eyes she grabbed his left arm dragging him across the street and into the coffee shop where they first met. “I didn’t tell you to stand out in this rain!”
     “Sorry, Sassenach. I couldna help if I had to be where it all began.”
     “Don’t do it again! Last I need is for Nurse Glenna to page me saying you’ve landed yourself a room for pneumonia.”
     “Aye, mo nighean donn, I’ll no wait for you in the pissin’ rain again.”
     “Good. Now, let’s get a cuppa and some biscuits and try to warm you up.”
    Nodding back at her, he let himself be dragged to the nearest booth before she left to order the tea. While in line she turned back smiling at him in a giddy sort of way and quickly turned back to give the barista their order. He patted the hidden pocket inside his leather jacket, feeling for the small silver and ruby ring he had placed there five and half months ago.