What’s up? Name’s Sara. I hate intros despite how much I love talking about myself, so wish me luck and don’t pass too much judgement if this is shit. I spend most of my time following my bro, @frickindecent , around and dancing for him and his group with my 3 best friends. when that’s not going on, i spend a lot of time teaching hip hop dance classes to smol humans, and even more time binge watching ridiculous reality shows. gh is @ txnydxncer and if you message me i might spam you with a shit ton of memes but i’ll be friendly and love you forever.
One of my goals this year was to “make peace with my loneliness." It sounds more depressing than it is, but I think that’s been part of the process. As 2017 has unfolded, I’ve realized that what I set out to do wasn’t to "learn to be happy if I wind up alone forever,” but rather to “learn who I am and embrace it."
It’s been a year of trying new hobbies and watching new things and writing more letters and studying different topics. I’ve been trying to be better about staying in at night and spending less money on myself. I try not to bank so much on the availability of people or places, and to find things that get me excited on my own. For the most part, I’ve changed because of it. I’ve grown in different ways, discovered (and re-discovered) passions, I’ve talked to Jesus a lot more than I used to. It’s been a challenge met with unexpected contentment.
As the holidays grew closer, it’s easy to forget these things I’ve learned. Easy to see people with loved ones and wonder if that will ever be me, or with families and wonder if I’ll ever have one, or wish that I had a stable family background to go home to.
There’s a lot of joy and wonder, but there’s also a lot of sadness and uncertainty. It’s okay to feel those things (would we really be human if we didn’t to some capacity?), but I can’t let those feelings dictate the things I’ve learned to be true: I have meaning simply because my heart beats, and that’s all that maters.
I’ve always hoped my vulnerability, while strange to share without asking people for their pity, to be a vehicle in some way. And that’s also my hope now. I don’t know what type of loneliness you’re facing, if it’s close or distant, inside or out. Please know that it counts… but it doesn’t claim you. What does, are the things that make your heart race, what makes you smile, what gives you meaning beyond our fickle feelings. What a comfort to know that we can all feel alone together.
Venus in Aries: I heard your laughter before I saw you. And then I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And after everyone had gone home we were still running around, or you were running I was just trying to keep up. You work hard, play hard and love even harder, but you like to try on a couple of sizes before you find the right fit. It’s the way you make me laugh at the most ludicrous things, the way you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to go and get it. You make me feel like anything is possible. Our love was like a tickle war turned makeout session, and I still remember the heat when our skin touched. There will never be anyone like you.
Venus in Taurus: Being with you is like coming home. Like a perfect dream. Like lavender candles and cuddling up to a marathon of our favourite show. You kissing me between every episode. You don’t like playing games and you don’t like being rushed when falling in love. You take your sweet time, worshipping my body and my mind so my heart can’t help but follow. I remember those lazy Sundays, strolling through the furniture store, your hand in mine and we would pretend to decorate our future house. But all we came out with were more lavender candles and a burning lust for each other. You turn the mundane into something truly magical.
Venus in Gemini: You drive me crazy, I never know where we stand. We spend the most incredible nights together and then I don’t hear from you in forever. Maybe that’s your style, you wanna look me in the eyes and not read my words on your phone. We sit for hours and people watch, making up backstories for them. When I’m with you I have no sense of time, all I can think about is your mischievous smile and the way you play with my hair. Your love is all-consuming, like nothing in the world matters to you more. With you my sense of reason is completely clouded, I’m yours for the night and every other night. If you’ll have me.
Venus in Cancer: My hero, my sensitive babe. Your heart on your sleeve, that look in your eyes and I was yours forever. When you kissed me I could see our lives flashing before my eyes. Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Your nose in a book but your hand on me, like you needed to be connected to me or else you’d die. Every time you catch me staring at you I can’t help the grin on my face. You are fragile and strong, creating this protective space around us where we can just be together. I love how you’re not afraid of your feelings, and how you already named our kids even though we need to discuss it lol. You make it feel so real, like you are the missing piece of the puzzle.
Venus in Leo: I remember the first time I met you, it all happened so fast. At a party, my friend introducing you and before I knew it your arms were around me. I remember melting into your hug, and the electricity in the air when we finally let go. Everyone else thought it was weird but we both knew, there was no turning back. Being with you feels like running through a field of flowers, faster and faster. Your laughter and your moans echo in my head. My legs feel like giving out but your hand refuses to let go of mine. It’s that smile after you say something clever, and they way you make me feel like it’s just me and you versus the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved.
Venus in Virgo: You make me feel whole. Driving down the freeway blasting our songs, I can’t sing but you don’t care. Your hand on the stick shift and for some reason I got all hot inside. It’s the way you wrap your arms around me at the checkout line, like I’m yours and you don’t care who knows. You’re thoughtful and observant, you make me feel like I matter to you. And it’s not an act, you are actually that kind. I’m trying so hard to describe you, but all I can think about is that night when my family fell apart. You drew a bath with bubbles and you held me until the water went cold. Then we ate raspberries (my favourite) and watched Modern Family. And then you loved me until I didn’t feel like I was falling apart anymore. I think that describes you more than words ever could. You’re the one I see sitting next to me on our porch doing a crossword puzzle, in our old bodies. But it doesn’t scare me because your spirit is forever young.
Venus in Libra: Being in love with you is so easy. Our first date was to the movies. You gave me a red poppy and held my hand the entire time, gently playing with my fingers. My heart was about to beat out of my chest but somehow I was calm, because you were. I love the way you talk so easy, with that breezy confidence. Like you’d never tell me a lie. The way you were charming and kind to everyone from the bus driver to the server at the pizza shop. After talking to each other all night in the park, it was the only place that was still open. My mum still asks about you. I think she loved you more than I did, and that’s saying something.
Venus in Scorpio: God, the way you tear me apart and then put me back together. Over and over again. You of all people know that life isn’t always chocolates and roses. You’re not afraid of the ugliness of human nature, instead you try to find the silver lining, the beauty in the madness. You demand that I’m honest with you, and in turn you trust me with your own secrets. It created a bond beyond love, or maybe it was love. It just felt different, like it was based in reality and not a love story. You’ve seen me at my worst and still think I’m beautiful, because you see people’s souls. Nobody can hide their true nature from you for you are an expert of reading between the lines. Your animalistic passion penetrates deep, and everything becomes a haze of lust and obsession. Because if you’re not obsessed it’s just not worth it. I would trust you with my life, because you would sacrifice your own for the one you love.
Venus in Sagittarius: We had just gotten comfortable on the top of the mountain we climbed when you hit me with “Do you think out of seven billion that some people have the same personality?” And you packed my favourite sandwich, tomato, mozzarella and basil. A moment of breathless kisses and triumph. Your strength made me feel strong too, and your devotion made my heart swell. You never stand still but it doesn’t matter, because you take me with you and always make sure I’m alright. You make me feel included, showing me off and introducing me to all your friends. I’ve never felt more proud than when I’m standing next to you. When you told me how much you loved me I knew it was true.
Venus in Capricorn: The true romantic. What drew me in was that calm stare, you looked like trouble I swear I was gonna faint on the spot. You could keep up with me, and when you took my hand and said “Trust me?” I somehow believed you. But what made me fall for you was how you kept all your promises. Your presence is honest and true, the way you make me feel like I would never be alone, like I would always have a friend. I love falling asleep in your arms to your heartbeat. You’re gentle with me, I can feel your love in every touch. Your love made me believe I could do anything, because I knew you would stick by my side. If I asked you to.
Venus in Aquarius: Keep it cool, that’s how you roll. Almost untouchable, but you let me touch you. It was like the seasons changed in seconds. You finished that last drop of champagne and said “Let’s get wet”, then we jumped in the pool. And then you kissed me. It felt like breathing underwater, I don’t even think you live in the same world as the rest of us. I texted you at 2 a.m. and you didn’t hesitate. Trapped between your body and the wall, your lips on my neck and I was already in heaven. I never thought you loved me back, until you showed up on my doorstep, whiskey on your breath and tears in your eyes. After that I never doubted you, because I knew then that your love was more than words.
Venus in Pisces: With you it’s all about the moment, and moments with you are plush and whimsical. Like sitting on a cloud. You are still the only person to ever write me a poem. And when you asked me if I liked it, how you let me see your vulnerable side even though the look in your eyes was sheer terror, you were brave. I was at loss for words so I just kissed you deeply. You see the beauty in the little things, like asking me about what I dreamt last night or giving me cupid earrings so they could whisper sweet nothings in my ear when you’re not around. Your love is poetic, you actually think of me and what makes me happy. Whenever you see something that reminds you of me you always let me know. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be so cherished.
the iconic mildliners™!! as much as im obsessed with them, i gotta have some real talk here. yes almost all studygrams/studyblrs have them, they look so aesthetically pleasing, and they might seem like they can change your life forever but tbh you don’t have to spend $11 on 5 of them, you can get 10 for $4 in Daiso for the same exact colours (yes, i bought the Daiso ones just to compare and i can guarantee you the cool and the fluorescent sets are identical.) AND YOU DONT NEED THEM TO START A STUDY ACCOUNT!!! it was super hard to search for especially in where im from, but if you dont live in the US, get it from eBay and i promise you i searched for days for the cheapest place and eBay is where you can get all 4 sets for $30! this wasn’t sponsored, but i just thought id help everyone who desires to buy them to get a cheap deal. anyways i hope all of you have a good and productive day or night!
shit i just want to go to like……. an isolated little town on the coast of like england where the waves crash against the cliffs and send up a spray and it’s always a little rainy and dreary and the green is so green with dew and life and the houses are small and cozy and always smell like baked bread and tea and it’s perpetually foggy outside and i can wear sweaters forever and read a book by the fireplace or out in the garden and it sort of just smells ancient and where everyone just minds their own business and life is good and once in a while i bike to the nearest village with a market and spend the day shopping around and maybe i’ll have a dog who likes to follow me around and we just….. live
-it takes trini forever to learn how to take her mask off in her armor, because you have to will the armor to take the mask off, but because deep down trini is just so used to hiding that she cant help it
-im telling you this girl purrs CONSTANTLY. touch her hair. hug her and wrap your arms really tight. genuinely laugh. or if shes asleep and dreaming a good dream for once
-i think its pretty accepted in the fandom that trini has nightmares, but when the rangers are doing their nightly shift with her they find her lil baby plants she spends forever taking care of. zack tries to touch one and she pushes him out her window. kim can touch them tho. and billy. (jasons scared to get the zack treatment)
-shes also a crazy good artist. to everyones surprise, its much more colorful than she or her music lets on. aka trini drawing the ranger gang (there’s also a suspicious amount of a certain pink ranger)
-when trini gets REALLY excited she breaks out into spanish. no one wants to interupt her because its rare for trini to get in these moods, so she doesnt even know she’s doing it. no one else speaks spanish, so they all just smile and nod
-bonfire night and the rangers are discussing their fav movies. when they ask trini, she quietly says with the most straight faced a lesbian can, “Wonder Woman could cut my head off and I’d say thank you.” zack falls out of his chair
-jason and trini sit on the edge of the cliff leading to the ship, beer in hand, and just talk about girls. jason, later on, eventually just talks about billy. trini doesn’t care, she does the same with kim.
-trini and billy study together all the time, and everytime she comes over candace apologizes for calling her deedee ages ago. trini just smiles and runs to billys cran-cave (zack named it that, obviously) (it was kim)
-don’t mention clexa to trini. just don’t.
-this girl LOVES piggyback rides. she didn’t tell anyone until zack threw her on his back and none of them had ever heard the pure sunshine when trini laughed like that. trini piggybacks became a right of passage, a true honor (to everyone’s surprise, trini let zack do it the most, claiming he was the most fun as he ran around and spun in circles. she’d never admit she just liked hugging her adoptive brother)
-trini grabs kim’s sleeve whenever she wants a kiss, seeing as she can’t reach. one time they were fighting, and trini tripped and grabbed kims sleeve to catch herself, but kim (cause shes whipped) just instinctually went in for a kiss, causing them to headbutt and fall to the ground on top of each other. (needless to say they stopped fighting after that)
-they don’t get each other flowers, but rather donuts. obviously.
-everytime they say goodbye, kim HAS to kiss trini’s forehead, then her nose, then her mouth. trini blushes like crazy (“Now you’re the pink ranger!”)
HIT ME UP FOR MORE HEADCANONS ABOUT ANY OF THESE KIDS! OR JUST MESSAGE ME! :)
And this one I didn’t want to spend too much of forever on so a quick journey back to just the laziest of backgrounds. I feel like Zarya wouldn’t know exactly what to make of it and just bubble him anyway. Ask a science person to explain it later. Genji, I imagine would be very confused. Still fiddlin with human sassy Zenyatta’s design a little. I figure he’d still do the regular outfit when working.
could you possibly please rec a couple of your fave fics? ♥️
Ok, so I’m assuming: klance fics? Alright, here we go:
texting fics (I love those kind of fics. They almost always seem to nail characters’ personalities and texting style and are so funny to read. The ones I’ll mention now are my absolute fav from this category):
Completed. Keith and Lance are stucked on a planet which citizens believe they are heroes destined to save them. The thing is they have to get married. Aka: Lance, Pidge, Hunk, Allura and Shiro are texting while Keith.exe stopped working. I don’t remember it very well, but I know I had fun while reading. Also, @xxxkaseixxx recommended it to me, so I already knew it’s a good one before starting.
Ok, so it’s not really texting fic but it’s a first part of a series where second part is texting fic. You don’t have to read that one to enjoy it’s continuation but I’m strongly reccomending it, because it’s a joy, I remember that one quote (about Keith’s mullet) made me laugh histerically at 3 a.m.
The story is: Voltron is a Radio Station beloging to Allura and her family and: Black, Green, Yellow, Red and Blue are it’s hosts. The station menagers decide that if all radio hosts specialize in certian topics and have already established base of listeners then Station can be even more popular if hosts would be paired with each other. Turns out they were right. Completed.
One of the first fics I’ve read in this fandom. I don’t remember it very well but the general impression is that it was quite enjoyable. Except that…pining!lance was…very extremaley thirsty and I’m not very fond of Keith being pictured as some sex object. The fic is well written, it’s not like Keith is dumb but pretty. It’s just when you see him through Lance’s eyes it may be uncomfortable for some people.
Lance, Hunk and Pidge are dancers who strongly admire dancing duo Keith and Shiro. Some stuff happens, Lance goes on dancing camp and guess who’s an instructor? Completed.
Ongoing. Shiro and Allura are getting married and Keith - as Shiro’s best man - needs to take some dance lesson because it’s important part of a wedding. So he takes them from Allura’s maid of honor - Lance. There is some actual knowledge about dances so it’s cool. Also, Keith’s a florist.
Also one of the first fics I started reading in this fandom and only recently completed.
Lance is a college student who tries to cut of his addiction to coffee and maybe switch for tea… Keith conviniently is a hot as hell barista in a bubble tea shop. And also college student, double majoring because he’s awesome and perfect and dead inside.
Slow burn torture. Like, really. Agony, but don’t we love it?
Anyway, title kinda tells what it’s about. Hunk decided that Lance as a roommate is too distracing so he moves out but finds Lance a new roommate so he can pay his rent. New roommate turns out to be Keith, Lance’s highschool rival and bisexual awakening. Another one of those where Keith thinks Lance is straight.
*sigh* Probably will never be completed and, unfortunetly, it WILL leave you hanging. So keep it in mind if you’ll decide to give it a try.
But I had to put it on a list becacuse it’s one of the first etc etc and there is a sentence that will probably stay with me forever: „Lance is a person of many acqaintances, but very few friends”. And I get it, I so get it. When you’re charismatic you attract people easily. But only some of them will stay with you after knowing you better.
Keith falls in love at first sight but will he still like that charming stranger who’s actually rude, obnoxious and tactless when he’ll spend more time in his company?
This one is about how on every planet that Paladins visit citizens mistake Keith and Lance as a couple. It happens so often that Pidge decides to collect data and analize it from scientfic point of view. Completed.
I hope it was a helpful list~
Edit: I don’t know how could it happen but I forgot to add one more of my most favourite fanfics:
Keith witness Lance’s “death” and that experience traumatize him. Later when Lance is A-okay he still needs to check on him and can’t get any sleep due to terrible nightmares. Turns out sleeping near Lance helps him get some rest at night, when he can always make sure his friend’s alive.
Great writing. Interesting study in depression (Lance) and feeling alienated in group (Keith). Ongoing- and I’m personally dying to know what happens next, because resent events sort of left us hanging.