but i shortened and lightened it

The Last Call (Steve X Reader)

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Steve groaned, collapsing against the concrete wall in the closet he’d found, hand plastered to his abdomen as blood ran through his fingers.

He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, cursing himself silently.

He should have listened to you when you begged him not to go on this mission. You’d told him you had a bad feeling. But he just played it off as hormones.

He glanced down at his hand, his ring on his finger glinting through the red. He wasn’t gonna get home.

Alive, anyway. He just prayed they’d be able to return his body to you. As sick as it sounded.

He squeezed his eyes shut, his mind going fuzzy with dizziness and nausea.

He clung to consciousness, using memories to ground himself.

If you like her, just ask her out,” Natasha smirked, taking a sip of her drink as she watched Steve.

He turned to her, blushing slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Y/N and I are just work colleagues,” he mumbled and she laughed.

“I never said who I thought you were staring at Steve,” she pointed out triumphantly. Steve chuckled slightly and Natasha continued.

“Listen, Rogers, I know you say you’re not ready to date yet, but I’m telling you, it’s obvious you like that girl and I promise, she likes you too, but someone else is gonna snap her up if you don’t. I heard Pietro say he’s interested,” she commented, shrugging.

Steve’s head whipped back to watch you laughing with Sam and he smiled, glancing back at Natasha.

“Thanks,” he murmured, before standing and making his way over to you.

He smiled at the memory, he was pretty sure Natasha had made everything up but she’d gotten him to take a chance and it had been the best decision of his life.

He should’ve thanked her for pushing him.

He moved onto the next memory, of your first fight, where he’d realized you were the girl he was gonna marry.

You stupid, selfish, irresponsible bastard!” You shouted at him as soon as he’d set his duffel bag onto the couch of your apartment.

“Y/N,” he began, but you stormed over to him, fists clenched.

“How could you do that to me?! I thought you were dead, Steve! Dead! I cried for two days! You promised you’d call me!” You ground out and he cupped your cheek with your hand.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured as you slapped his hand away.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Steve,” you hissed.

“I need you to stop and care about yourself from now on, because I will not lose you to your job. Not now, not ever. I care about you too damn much. You may not be used to checking in with someone but you’d better adjust real quick, because I love you. And I was scared.” You whispered, voice cracking.

Steve’s heart dropped. He’d hurt you. He’d made you worry and scared you. You were right. He wasn’t used to people wanting to know if he was okay.

He hesitantly smoothed his thumb over your cheek, wiping away the beginning of a tear before dipping down to capture your lips.

“It won’t happen ever again. I’m sorry. I love you too,” he whispered.

He’d been such an idiot when you’d been dating. But you were so patient with him, letting him adjust to modern dating one small step at a time.

And so he’d asked you to marry him. Two years later, and now you were expecting. He’d been so happy when you found out three months ago.

“I just don’t understand how you’re so calm,” Steve grinned, pulling his shirt over his head.

“I’m not gonna rile myself up over it yet, Steve. We don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet,” you laughed, setting the pregnancy test down as you picked up your glass of water.

“I’m going to be shocked if you’re not pregnant, Y/N, with the amount of sex we’ve been having this week,” he chuckled and you blushed, smacking his shoulder as you passed.

“Steve!”

“Well it’s true,” he laughed and you shook your head, retrieving your duffel bag from the closet.

“Yknow, Pepper would make an excellent godmother,” he commented and you laughed.

“If I’m pregnant, sure, she would, but her and Tony are a package deal,” you reminded him.

“Well, sure, but,” he began as you bent down to check the test and let out a scream.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked hurriedly, halting all motions.

“I’m pregnant!” You shouted and joy spread across his face.

“Oh my- You’re pregnant! We’re pregnant!” He shouted, somersaulting across your mattress to wrap you in his arms, kissing your face.

You laughed, burying your face in his chest as he spun you around.

He set you down gently and sat on the edge of your bed, hand on your stomach.

“Hey kiddo, we are so excited to meet you,” he murmured to your stomach, grinning. “It’ll be our first time, so bear with us, but we can’t wait,”

You smiled excitedly. “And now we’re going on our first mission!” You shouted and Steve nodded, laughing.

“And now we’re–” he stopped mid sentence and stood. “Wait, no, no, no we’re not. You need to take it easy.” He protested and you rolled your eyes.

“Here we go,” you teased, reaching down to grab your bag as he put his hands on his hips.

“Seriously, I mean it,” he scolded and you winked, brushing past him.

“Sure thing, sweetheart. But not quite yet,”
You added, sprinting out of the room before he could grab you.

Steve smiled, the action hurting his split lip.

He winced and sighed. The memory was bittersweet. He’d never get to see his son or daughter be born now. Wouldn’t get to see your face.

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t still hear you.

He used his right arm to dig around his pocket, finally pulling out his cellphone, red smudging the numbers as he typed the familiar number.

It rang for two cycles before there was a click.

“Hey, Steve,” your sweet voice greeted him and he grit his teeth to keep from crying.

“Hey baby,” he responded, voice cracking slightly. “How are you?” He asked, clearing his throat. “How’s the little one?”

“We’re both doing fine, although I miss you,” you admitted and a tear escaped, cutting through the dirt on his cheeks.

“I miss you too, doll,” he croaked and he could hear a crackle as you switched ears.

“You okay, Steve, you sound different,” you asked, concern clear through the piece of plastic in his hand.

“I’m just really, really tired. I took a pretty good beating this time,” he laughed, trying to keep it from sounding bitter.

“Oh,” you murmured and he swallowed, suddenly feeling like he was going to throw up.

“Well, I went to the doctor today,” you piped up and he tilted his head closer to the phone, focusing on your voice as he heard gunshots through the walls.

“Oh yeah? Everything okay?” He asked and you laughed.

“Yeah, junior’s doing great. The doctors still trying to convince me to find out the gender. But I want you here if we do,” you laughed and he grimaced.

“How’re you doing with hormones and everything? You doing okay?” He asked, switching the subject.

You laughed, the sound making his heart clench. “I cried last night while watching tv because an Oreo commercial came on and we didn’t have any,” you scoffed “I’m a mess,” he laughed, a groan immediately slipping out right after it from the movement.

“Steve, are you sure you’re okay?” You asked again, and he could picture you standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, worrying at your bottom lip.

“I’m fine, really, I just moved wrong,” he assured you. “Don’t bite your lip,” he added and your soft laugh could be heard.

“You know me too well,” you murmured. He chuckled slightly, pressure on his abdomen lightening as his hand slipped. He didn’t replace it.

“Hey, Y/N,” he whispered, his breaths shortening.

“Yeah?” You asked immediately, picking up on his change but saying nothing.

“I gotta go sweetheart, but I love you, tell junior I love them” he murmured, his words fading into a whimper at the end.

“I love you too,”’you whispered, sounding like you were close to tears yourself.

Steve ended the call, hand falling in his lap as his phone skittered across the floor, and his eyes drifted closed, your words the last thing echoing in his skull.

This is the only image I actually finished for a song comic thing I was working on that I probably won’t ever finish… partially because I can’t decipher my thumbnails anymore, and partially because I would have shortened the song to lighten the load but each verse is very different and it would have been. a lot of work to abridge.

Anyway enjoy because I’m actually really proud of this even though it’s… a few months old now.

Here’s the song thou should totally buy it bc it’s awesome and so is supporting musicians (if you can afford it!!)

Chained Rose, Chapter III

A/N: Set in an alternate universe where Ruby and Yang never went to Beacon and a terrifying virus threatens the populace instead of Grimm, Ruby Rose is hired by Cinder Fall to be her bodyguard.

You can also read Chained Rose on AO3

Or if you want, read it here on my blog in chronological order 


                      Chapter Three: I Thought I’d Never See Her Again


A loud scrape of metal on metal screamed in the tiny shop as Cinder and I dragged a heavy fridge over the trap door. The owners of the shop helped us once they saw the bite wound on Jasper’s side. All his blood was turning black by then, seeping through his shirt like an oil spill. He’d progressed quicker than I’d feared, fever searing hot and trembling all over.

“Think this’ll be enough?” Cinder asked as I found a freezer full of ice bags. Taking them out without a word, I nodded to her to help me and started packing them around Jasper. I had dragged him out of the aisles and to a clearer space in front of the register, and stripped him down of most of his clothes. My jacket was ruined but I put it on anyway.

“For now, maybe.” I clapped my hands on my thighs to wipe off the leftover condensation from the machine. A ceiling fan swung limply, stirring dense summer air. The elements were against us here— maybe I should have tried to find a way to shove him into the freezer instead of taking the ice out? But he needed to lie on his side or he risked choking on his own vomit. “He still needs medicine.”

Snapping her fingers in front of my face to get my attention, she pointed to the appliances we had used to pin the trapdoor down. “I meant that. Is that enough to keep them out?”

Keep reading

I love my Mirena IUD, but not getting my period makes me nervous. How can I make sure I’m not pregnant?

Someone asked us:

I have the Mirena IUD and I absolutely love it. However, I am still super wary of the fact that I don’t get my period regularly, as awesome as it is, because I’m constantly anxious about being pregnant. What are the legitimate chances that I might get pregnant with the IUD correctly in place? What are the warning signs if the device isn’t correctly in place? I ask, because my Gyno actually just retired and I haven’t found a new one yet. Any IUD tips or facts would be greatly appreciated!

It’s pretty common for the Mirena IUD to shorten, lighten and even eliminate your period. The chances of getting pregnant with an IUD in place are super incredibly slim — IUDs are more than 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. So you can relax. Odds are your IUD is doing a bang-up job of keeping buns out of your oven, regardless of menstruation (or lack thereof).

That being said, there’s still a teeny, tiny chance you could get pregnant–it happens to less than 1 out of 100 people with an IUD each year, but it IS possible. As you note, pregnancy is more likely if your IUD moves out of place or gets expelled. If it helps you feel more relaxed, you can check the strings that hang out of your cervix every now and then. If they’re way longer or shorter than normal, or have disappeared altogether, see a nurse or doctor about it. Same if you can feel the plastic part of the IUD coming out of your cervix.  You can take a pregnancy test just in case if you’re showing signs of pregnancy (nausea, swollen/tender breasts, fatigue, peeing frequently). But again, pregnancy with an IUD is rare, so try not to drive yourself nuts worrying about it. 

Remember, you can also use condoms if you want an extra dose of pregnancy prevention. And condoms are the ONLY method of birth control that also protect against STDs. 

It’s a bummer when our favorite doctors retire, but remember that Planned Parenthood health centers are there for all your gyno needs (and then some!). We happen to think our staff is pretty great.

-Kendall at Planned Parenthood

advice for ppl who get periods but don't identify with being a girl !!

the mirena iud as a form of birth control is a life saver. i got it four months ago and i haven’t had my period since! it works for everyone differently, but the general consensus is that it lightens, shortens, and makes periods less painful.

how to get it
if you have insurance and a health care provider, your insurance should be able to cover the costs of the insertion & the mirena itself.
if not, go to any planned parenthood and ask about getting the mirena iud. if you look on their website, their should be a page about how the costs are covered but from what i can remember, planned parenthood will cover the costs as long as you don’t have a direct form of income. they keep ur info private too, so if ur parents/caretaker are against you getting the mirena, they won’t have to know you have it !

about the mirena
- small device (fits in the palm of ur hand) that is inserted into ur uterus
- can lighten, shorten, and even stop your period completely
- can ease cramps or diminish them completely
- 99.9% effectiveness as birth control
- low hormone dose
- lasts for 3-5 years
- no worrying about having to take certain meds on time
- does NOT prevent STDs or HIV/AIDS
- can make you gain weight etc (side effects are on webmd, the mirena website, or the planned parenthood website)
- takes 7 days to become affective as birth control, takes 48 hours to be able to have s a f e sex

about the process of insertion/afterwards
- insertion can be painful depending on your anatomy
- your doctor will usually numb you up and (depending on ur situation) give you a painkiller or a pill that dilates your uterus a few hours before
- numbing is done by injecting numbing gel (yes, with needles) into ur vaginal area
- insertion should only take 5-20 minutes (if ur a special case like me, it can take longer but it’s not likely)
- cramping will last for a few hours after insertion
- light bleeding/spotting is notmal for the first few days/weeks after insertion
- you can request pain meds for after the procedure just in case you have cramping

!!! IMPORTANT !!! THE PARAGARD IUD IS NOT THE SAME AS THE MIRENA !! IT IS VERY DIFFERENT !!

tl;dr: the mirena iud form of birth control can help with people who are dysphoric about their periods because it can completely stop or lighten/shorten periods!!

junemermaid  asked:

DorianxBull, 6. “I’m sorry” kiss

“You savage brute,” Dorian says. He has said it before. A dozen times, a hundred—he has meant many things by it. These days, he means—well, something warm. Something fond and playful.

But he misses his mark. The wrong words, the wrong moment. It has been a bad day, and he has tried to lighten it in the worst of ways.

It goes like this:

Bull doesn’t laugh and he doesn’t prod back. He says: “yeah.” He drags his hand heavily over his tired face, shortened fingers against his cheek, how much he bears. He says: “I know.”

The Storm Coast lies between them in that moment, and Bull is all at sea, absolutely lost. It hurts to see. To have caused.

The worst thing is that he looks defeated. Angry would be better—and that’s a guilty thought, too, in light of—well. Things being what they are. Dorian must always needle—in anger or in fondness, he hardly knows another way to speak. But, he is coming to realise, he must learn. Fight for it, if need be. There must be a time for honesty, even on this most serious of topics.

“No,” he says. “No, Bull, I didn’t for one moment mean it. I know I shouldn’t have said it. It was unfair.”

Bull shrugs.

“I’ll not call you anything of the sort again,” Dorian says. “I won’t have it being another one of your jokes that you worry about the truth of. I refuse.”

“You’re not meant to know that,” Bull says. “Has Cole been talking or am I just losing my touch?”

“Perhaps I’m just more invested than I should be,” Dorian says softly, and oh how he despises confessions, but Bull has earnt this much. “Not that it seems to have helped me very much. Bull—”

“Yeah,” Bull says. “It’s fine, you don’t need to say it.”

“I do,” Dorian says. He takes a deep breath, settles himself before Bull, kneels, an offering. He takes Bull’s hand, as gently as he can; raises it to his lips. “I’m sorry for my thoughtlessness.”

Bull’s knuckles are rough against his lips when he kisses them, and he stays bowed to them, closes his eyes, the feeling welling up inside him too much to take.

“You may be the best man I know,” he says, lips moving against Bull’s skin. When Bull’s free hand comes to rest carefully on the back of Dorian’s head he cannot help but gasp.

“Dorian,” Bull says, and oh, how uncertain he sounds.

His fingers slide through Dorian’s hair, come to rest warm and heavy against his scalp.

“You are no manner of savage brute,” Dorian says, and presses a fresh kiss to Bull’s knuckles, to the back of his hand, the long scar running across it. “You will never be any such thing—I swear to you—”

And finally, finally, the tension goes out of Bull. He laughs, laughs—

“Hey, easy there,” he says. “Next you’re going to say my personal hygiene leaves nothing to be desired.”

“Oh, you are insufferable,” Dorian says, because their are limits to his tentative attempts at gentleness. He smiles, even this against Bull’s hand. “I think I may love you.”

anonymous asked:

I know how important it is to have an outside rein connection, but I feel like mine is never as consistent as it needs to be. Any advice?

Always go to the outside rein first in any scenario. 

As riders we always get preached at about the importance of that outside rein connection but very rarely does anyone take the time to sit and explain how to really get to that holy grail ideal. It takes a lot of time, and concentration, and awareness to get to the point in your riding that you feel like it is as good as it should be. Val has actually been a greater teacher of this not only to myself but many of my amateur riding friends who I put on him. He is a horse who I have literally told people to throw their inside hand forward and let go of the rein. He has a great feeling and so I wish, lovely Anon, that I could throw you on him!

As for things you can do to improve your riding on any horse be aware of where your hands are at all times. We all have little riding ticks and bad habits. My right hand likes to float upwards if I am not watching and being super aware of it. Especially tracking to the left I have to be super aware that it is staying strong and guiding and low enough to be effective. Having someone video you regularly is ideal, mirrors even more so, but not all of us are lucky enough for that. Even a friend you trust and can not feel like they are being critical of your riding is a great asset in being able to identify what your own weaknesses in position are so that you can be aware and strive to fix them.

As a rule never cross the neck with the reins either. If you feel like you have to cross the neck for whatever reason open the rein towards your knee and give the horse a place to fall into. Show them that, “Look here is space. This is where you fall into. This is where we come into.” As the riding becomes more educated the channel between the reins becomes smaller and the rein aids tinier and more subtle.

Another big problem I see with connection are elbows. I once got to audit a Jimmy Wofford clinic while I was in Florida pursuing the laughable idea that I was going to be a top eventer. While that was something that was never going to happen considering I am a chicken shit I learned some invaluable gold nuggets that I often refer too. One such nugget worth it’s weight in gold is this: there is no such thing as good/soft hands. Think about your wrist - how can a wrist be soft? It can rotate and open in and out, but how do you soften your wrists? Well you can’t! And as for your fingers the only way to soften them would be to loosen them, letting the reins slide and obtaining the opposite of connection. Close your hands firmly on the reins; it is way kinder to always be on your end of the “phone” then to constantly be hitting “dead zones” and dropping the call. Softness and quality of connection comes from your elbows.

To improve the quality of the connection you must always keep your fingers closed around the reins and strive for the correct rein length, which is often shorter than we realize to be effective. You don’t want to constantly be fidgeting and shortening/lengthening the reins. The more you do that the more white noise there is for the horse to filter out to be able to garner what you truly are trying to say - what is the “aid” and what is the white noise. You always want to strive for the perfect line from bit to hand to elbow; anything above or below creates leverage which impedes the connection. To create lightness within that connection your elbow must be soft, although at your side most of the time. This gives you the ability to length or shorten the frame and the rein length smoothly. There is also my favorite image or idea that I try to stress which is letting the weight fall out of the back of your upper arm. Imagine an imperceptible and truly nonexistent dropping of your shoulder, through the back of your tricep, out the elbow where there is no more weight. That is how you let the weight “fall out of the reins” and still keep the connection strong. This is the perfect image to show people that give does not come from throwing the hand (and subsequently the connection) away but from lightening everything in that moment.

As for exercises that improve outside rein connection many lateral exercises can help your feel. From the most basic, leg yielding asks the horse to step into the outside rein and requires the rider to have a good connection to prevent crookedness and to maintain their line. Especially on a circle this exercise is perfect for illustrating to both horse and rider where the balance should be. From there shoulder-in/shoulder-fore is a great way to be aware of how good the connection is. It requires the rider to have a very firm connection into the outside rein from the inside leg to maintain the proper body shape without falling off the rail/line or becoming too straight. Both of these two examples can be performed (and should be) in all three gaits. The more you ask the horse to step up with it’s inside hind leg to the outside rein and you can control and shape that energy as a rider, the better the ease and quality of the movement will become.

As always stated start small, one to two steps of good or great is better than a whole rail of mediocre. Don’t be discouraged if it seems like you only get a moment of good. Set the horse and yourself back up for success and try again. Always praise both of you for the good and be willing to take a break. Don’t drill either of you. Practice the good. And best of luck!