And one day you just take a step back and realise that this person, the person that you’ve allowed to hurt you so many times and you’ve given so many chances to, isn’t really anything special. In my case he was just a boy who could never appreciate me, who could never actually give me what I wanted, what I needed, what I deserved. He only wanted me when he couldn’t have me and I was so blinded by my feelings for him and so desperately wanted things to work out between us that I ignored how badly he treated me. His actions would never match his words but I overlooked it because I hoped one day they would eventually line up but of course they never did. I finally accepted that I was wasting my time on someone who didn’t care enough to be who I needed them to be. Anymore time I spent on him was just preventing me from finding someone who will care enough, who will care so much that I will always wonder why I wasted so much time on a boy who could never love me. It still hurts sometimes and I’m still getting over him but everyday I forget him a little bit less and I think that is the saddest yet most encouraging thing that could possibly come out of this.
— how silly of me to think that I could change him when he can only change for himself.