but i needed to make by myself

anonymous asked:

I know it's been asked before but do you know any big ways to improve or feel satisfied with your own art? I've been drawing for over a decade of my life and feel like I'm still bad and can't finish a piece I'm proud of and it makes me feel so miserable. I don't want to give up, I see many artist like you that get me pumped to draw and aspire to get better, it's just not happening. I won't accept "drawing isn't for me". It's the only median like to do and I need a creative outlet. ahh I'm sorry!

hmmmm i think what really started me on my progress was taking a break and just going on an “art trip” to find the styles which i found myself drifting towards. which kind of art form do you identify with? what colour palettes make your eyes wanna do backflips?

moody art? action packed art? nature art? conceptual art? watercolour art?

import your external interests to make drawing feel more homely. you love plants? puppies? the colour red? big jackets? ripped jeans? jazz music? rainy weather? PUT. THEM. IN. draw what makes your brain buzz with excitement but also remember to start with what makes your heart comfortable as well.

the whole point of discovering these first are to help you find your identity before what you draw really becomes who you are, instead of just aimlessly working on the practical theories of art without knowing what you want to really achieve through it. most of us started on art for this reason - self expression. best of luck nonny!!

ooc:: it is one of those nights where one simple thing really makes you pissed off and dampers you mood for the remainder of the evening.

Bells

Originally posted by btssavemylife


Pairing: Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Fluff/Angst


Jungkook’s Pov

The first day of school…fun…

I walked through the doors into the building filled with teenagers. Different groups of friends were against the walls, huddled into their little groups as they spoke about the different adventures they had over the break.

I nodded and smiled to people here and there as I passed them through the hallway. “Hey, Jungkook!” “Hi Kookie!” “Hey, Jungkook, how was your break?” I gave short replies followed by slightly forced smiles. It’s not that I didn’t like these people, I just simply didn’t want to be here.

I plopped myself into the desk in the front left corner of my first period classroom. I may find school annoying, but I still need to do well. And making a good impression on the teacher is the first step.

I was a little early, so I sat at the desk looking around. Suddenly, I hear a faint chime in my left ear. I turned towards the direction the sound came from, and I saw a girl walking through the door. I’m not gonna lie, she was really pretty. But that wasn’t what I was focused on, I was focused on where that chime was coming from. I heard someone, most likely that girl, take a seat about 3 desks to my right. I heard the chime again, this time in my right ear. I whirled my head around turning it back and forth. I accidently locked eyes with the girl. I smiled politely before quickly looking away. The chime rang a third time. Eventually, I became fed up with trying to find where the sound was. I assumed it was coming from outside and brushed it off. Well, I tried. It kept ringing all throughout class. It drove me a little crazy, but I tried not to think too much about it as I passed it off as construction going on outside.

Class ended, and we all began to crowd around the door and squeeze our way out. I ended up squished behind that girl, and I heard that damn chime again. I had no idea where it was coming from, but it was me driving insane. It’s actually a really nice sound, but when it’s constantly playing in your ear it’s not so pleasant anymore.

I went about my day, moving from one class to another, until I made my way back home. I plopped on my bed, and let out a long sigh. 

This is going to be a long year.

I arrived at the entrance of my school once again for the dreaded second day of school. I was a little late, so I moved a little faster to get to my first class on time. I walked in and made it into my seat. I sigh. Good, I’m not late.

That girl from yesterday quickly walked past me and sat in her seat as well. Guessing she was also la-

*Chime*

Oh god, not again.

That chime, I only ever heard it in this class. I didn’t hear it in any of my other classes. Could it be from something inside the classroom? My thoughts were interrupted by the teacher beginning roll call. She calls out random names, as I spaced out a bit. I heard my name get called, and I respond. “Here.” I start to hear that girl squirm in her desk, but I didn’t think much of it. “(Y/FN)?” The teacher called out. “Here.”

*Chime*

Okay, that’s it.

I waited until the teacher was done with roll call to bolt my hand in the air. I’m going to find out where that stupid chime is coming from if it’s the last thing I do.

“Yes, Jungkook?” Says the teacher. “Ma’am, do you know where that chime is coming from? I heard it all day yesterday in this class, and I’m starting to hear it again today, But, I only heard it in this class. Is there something in this room that’s making that noise?” She looks at me confused. “Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jungkook. I never heard a chime at all. Not today or yesterday.” I looked around and the class was looking at me strange, which made me feel embarrassed. What? How is that possible. Oh my god is this a sign of me going deaf?! I begin to panic a little, until I hear someone say, “Wait, Ma’am, that doesn’t make sense. I’ve been hearing it to.” I look over. It was…that girl? The teacher turns her attention to the class, “Have any of you heard any chimes?” They all collectively shake their heads, except that one girl. We looked at each other wide eyed. “Well, I don’t know what it is, Jungkook and (Y/N), no one else heard it…” I heard what she said, but I kept my gaze on that girl, who’s turned away by now, still really confused.

(Y/N)…

*Chime*


~Two months later~

Today’s the day. Today is the day I ask (Y/N) to be my girlfriend. We’ve become really close. We talk on the phone every day before we go to sleep, we hang out everyday at lunch, and we’re always with each other throughout the school day. Some would say we’re already together. We both know about our feelings towards each other. But, today is when we can finally make it official.

I start walking down the street to school. I have flowers in my left hand and a note with a bag of (Y/N)’s favorite candy in the other. I start to feel really jittery. I can’t wait to see her reaction. I can’t wait to hug her and hold her hand. I can’t wait to finally be able to call her mine.

She’s my soulmate. We’re both entirely sure that’s what the chimes mean. The only reason we’ve waited so long is because she wanted to take things a little slower. I didn’t mind. Once I got more comfortable with (Y/N), I realized how much I loved her, and that I’d wait as long as I needed to for her. I also realized how well our personalities meshed. We had so many of the same interests, but also some differences that we love learning more and more about. We laugh at all the same jokes, love the same TV shows… I can go on forever.

We were made for eachother.

My heart soared just thinking about her. I couldn’t wait to see her. The school was about another 10 minutes or so away. I’ll be able to see the school once I turn he-

Ow! Holy shit, ow!

There was a sudden high pitch ringing in my ear. It was so loud, the pain from it was so intense. It felt like my ears were going to bleed. I hissed at the pain. I don’t know what it was, but there couldn’t have been a worse time for this to happen.

I’m not going to let this ruin me asking (Y/N) out. I’m sure it will be gone by the time I reach the school.

But, it wasn’t. If anything, it was getting worse the closer I got. In the very far distance, I was able to make out a large crowd of people in the road in front of the school. Though the ringing in my ear was so loud, I was somehow able to hear…sirens?

My gut wrenched.

No…

I ran. I ran faster than I ever had in my life. I sprinted my way to the crowd. As I neared the sea of people, mainly teenagers, the pain from the ringing intensified. I clutched my ear, still running. I started to feel a warm liquid on my hand. I looked, and it was blood.

Doesn’t matter…get over to that crowd!

I sprinted even faster, and began making my way through everyone. I pushed and shoved, not being able to hear what they were saying, let alone caring. I was starting to make my way to the center of the crowd. I see an ambulance, totaled cars, blood…

I swallowed, bracing myself for what I was about to see. I was breathing heaving. Whether it was from the running or the sheer panic I was feeling, I couldn’t tell. Please, don’t let me see what I think I’m about to see…

I made my way to the scene, looking around. It was a car crash. There was a man being arrested to my right on the side of the curb. I looked around, I saw (Y/N)’s mother being carried on a gurney into an ambulance truck. I could already feel the tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t want to look, but I had to.

On my left, there was a group of paramedics surrounding something on the floor. They all stood, to reveal it wasn’t something, it was someone.

In that moment, my whole world came crashing down around me. I dropped my things. My backpack, her candy, her note, her flowers. I fell to ground, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from what I was seeing no matter how hard I tried.

I saw her…

…as they covered her body, confirming my worst nightmare.


And the ringing stopped.



Thank you so much reading!  ♡

-Kat ღ

anonymous asked:

hi, i have a lot of trouble scheduling different commitments that i make— i often find myself realizing that i have two mandatory obligations that overlap only days before it happens or the day of. i am absolute crap at keeping a calendar but clearly i can't trust myself to just remember all of the things i need to do. what are your suggestions?

You need to start using a planner. I know, it sucks, but there you go.

This post talks about how to use a planner.

This post has a link to a planner that’s designed specifically for ADHDers.

Our planners tag also has some posts about bullet journals!

-J

anonymous asked:

Do you feel like a hypocrite giving people advice on their ed when you're still in the midst of your own?! You obviously haven't been doing what you're telling people!

I don’t feel like a hypocrite at all, actually.

The fact that I still struggle sometimes does not negate all of the work I have done or invalidate the things I have learned on this journey.  Part of recovery is taking the lessons you have learned and applying them in new situations that may come up and make you stumble.  I stumble, I have tools that I have worked hard to develop over the years, I use those coping skills, I reach out for support when needed, I pick myself up, I keep going, I keep working.  Recovery isn’t about perfection or about never having to do more work on yourself.  I would feel like a hypocrite if I did not write about these things.  I feel very lucky to be where I am today.

“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”

-Portia Nelson

honestly, this has been on my mind for a while, but I think there are some people I need to… not distance myself from, but sometimes, often, I’m more excited about a friendship than the other person is and it just creates this weird feeling of imbalance. I don’t know if that sounds weird, but when I was a kid I was first bullied and later I had to really put an effort into making friends with people, I was rejected a lot (I assume because I was a girl, but I acted like a boy, because later when I started hanging out with boys this all got easier) and I don’t want to put myself in that situation again. this isn’t a critique of anyone, it’s alright to not be super enthusiastic about a possible friendship, and that’s probably exactly what I have to remind myself of: it’s ok if people don’t want to be ‘besties’ with me and I don’t have to try to convince them of otherwise. I’m already extremely introverted so, in short, I think what I’m saying is that I want to focus my energy on the people who are openly wanting to be good friends with me.

A lot of ppl always ask me “cam why are you always so happy or why are you always smiling?!” …every single day that I open my I eyes and still have breath in my lunges that’s a MASSIVE win in itself because not everyday is promised. Another day is a blessing because that means I get to work on bettering myself in order to become the person I need to become to get to the next level and to receive what God has for me. It’s another day/ opportunity to positively impact someone or many many, to be creative, to love on people, to give back, and genuinely make a difference! It’s knowing those opportunities are available that bring so much joy, helping others become successful- helping them achieve their goals/dreams! I get to help kiddos and my community…and that is absolutely priceless!❤️

spring break is coming to an end and honestly, i feel so inspired. I spent lots of time with my friends and also myself, and i truly found myself again. school had been hectic and I had been getting very tired and unmotivated, and this break was well needed. 3 more months and this school year will be over!! make it count!!!!

An embarrassing story

Last night something really funny happened that is somewhat embarrassing for myself but it’s so hilarious I’ve been cracking up about it all day. Thus, I must share it.

I dreamed I was trying to concoct a recipe for banana daiquiris. I knew it needed to have bananas and coconut rum in it, but there was an elusive third ingredient that would really elevate it. I tried as hard as I could to remember what it was.

The answer came to me and I jolted awake. I nudged my sleeping husband and whispered excitedly,

“Yacker cranity!!!”

And as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized that, holy shit, I have no idea where they came from, because I knew it was supposed to be vanilla yogurt. So I hastily tried to correct myself while my husband muttered, “What are you talking about,” but he was probably asleep the whole time anyway. I was so surprised I had to write the words down in my phone so I wouldn’t forget. Even throughout the day I had to go back and look at it, because I couldn’t remember what I had said.

Yeah, sleep is weird, dreams are weird, I am weird. Life is fun!

“I feel like all actors go through ups and downs with high highs and low lows. In our job we have so much control, but at the same time so little since we never really know when the next audition will be.

I auditioned for my role in ‘Anastasia’ three times. The first two auditions, I was acting how I thought I should act. I thought they were looking for something similar to the cartoon version. The third time was the charm. I just went in as myself, and everything worked out.

Good things will happen to people who put themselves out there and believe in themselves. You have to keep telling yourself that you are enough. You are enough to make people happy and don’t need to be anything else. The minute you start to acting like someone else you won’t be happy, and the successes you may get won’t feel as fulfilling when you’re acting like someone you’re not.”

Hey fam! In a collaborative effort between myself and @fandammit, we have created a Slack team for any and all Kabby shippers. This is completely open to anyone, and all you need is a valid email address to join. For those of you blessedly unfettered by office work, a Slack is like a chatroom crossed with a forum – there are multiple “channels” for group discussions, but also direct messaging and direct group messages! Also, emojis! @fandammit​ does a much better and comprehensive job explaining Slack here, and I encourage you to give the post a read. But if you miss the closed-in feeling of LJ or the threads of fanforum, you might want to give us a shot! 

Your admin team is myself, fandammit, and the amazing @shefollowedfires. If the team grows, I may consider taking on additional admins as needed. We’re not here to moderate, just to make sure everything is running smoothly. 

Anyone can join. No matter if you’ve been all aboard the Kabby train since the Unity Day bombing, or if you just finished watching the series last night. Everyone is welcome. 

So if you want to join up, just send @fandammit or I a valid email address, and follow the instructions in the post linked above or in the #general channel of the Slack! 

See you there! 

The Place That Held Your Heart

A/N: Hope this makes sense. Continuation(s) of A Place Where You Were Loved and Over The Moon. I hope you like it.

Words: 1,747

Also tagging @peter-at-the-park-er since this is a direct continuation of their request that turned into A Place Where You Were Loved.

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Anon said: “did you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?” + scott

@jazzijanal said: “I’m not angry at you, just at myself… Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.” with Scott please!! P.S. Hope you feel better soon!

@superwholocked221 said: Stiles and “Its been too long since you’ve really smiled” with a supernatural reader?

Anon said: “It never works for us, and it never will.” Stiles x Reader?

Anon said: Hi!! I really love your blog. I just finished reading “Over the Moon” and omg my feelings kkk .So I was wondering if you could write a second part where the reader is getting over Scott, but then he starts to have feelings for her and go after her. Something reaaally fluff plss. (Sorry if I say something wrong, i’m brazilian skslsl)

Anon said: “You betrayed me, you betrayed all of us” and “I need you to forgive me” with Scott?

Anon said: Can I request “Sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?” from the prompt list thing with Stiles please? I love your writing btw!!

@imonlymesodeal said: Hey. Can you do a part 2 to a place where you are loved? Please :) It’s no problem. I just really want to see where it goes! Please try to make it happy :)

Xxx

It was still dark as you walked the streets, the faint twilight before the dawn just starting to paint the sky in lighter shades. You looked up, smiling as you saw the stars fade, giving way to a new day. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes for just a moment before you let the breath out on a long sigh, almost a hiss, knowing with it went all the reasons you’d built up around you for safety.

Your mind drifted back to the last time you’d walked here. Well, not the last, because that was when you had left Beacon Hills for what you thought was for good. But the last time with Scott and Stiles. You couldn’t shake the smile as the memory played for only you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

not theatre related but was wondering how you deal with and dealt self confidence being a teenager young adult? I know boys shouldn't be the basis of our self esteem but with theatre being full of rejections, and boys teenage life isn't always fun. All my friends have guys constantly chasing them but I've never had a guy like me, and it makes me feel really bad about myself sometimes. I don't get leads in shows either and that sucks. Just need advice on dealing with the disappointments

I can relate. Oh my gosh can I relate. All through high school and college, I never dated, guys never were interested in me, and I felt ugly and unlikeable. I put on a veneer of just being confident and being “too busy” for relationships, but it hurt to see all the students around me in relationships while I was always alone. Never had anybody ask me to a dance, never had a valentine… it gets to you over time! I was constantly told, “oh guys just aren’t mature enough for you, Christine. Wait for college.” And then in college, they said the same thing. “Just wait for the real world, these guys are immature.” But that didn’t stop me from feeling undesirable. You wonder what’s wrong with you.

But I assure you, nothing is wrong with you. I can’t tell you why guys aren’t interested in you right now, but it’s not because you are unlovable or because there’s something wrong with you. Someone will be there for you in the future and you’ll look back and remember these days and think, I just had to wait for life to line up the right circumstances. I had no idea what amazing things were coming back when I was worrying about guys not liking me in high school. But please don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, because there’s not. You are worthwhile, and you are perfect just the way you are.

there’s always been this constant need to prove my sexuality online ever since i came out. like, offline, i’m told that i’m straight or doubted that i am gay if i ever tell anyone. of course due to heteronormativity everyone is assumed to be straight by default but it makes me wildly uncomfortable. i want people to see me irl and think “oh yeah he’s gay” even though that won’t happen. online i always make gay posts or act as gay as i possibly can to remind myself that i am really gay and not just faking.

i tend to act concieted and self centered at times and i need to remind myself to think critically at all  times and better myself, i will make more effort to improve myself in every way i can, especailly my interactions with others. i am finally realizing where i need improvement, and i am sorry that  this relization came at the expense of other peoples time,energy, safety,and comfort

Hiatus

Alright it’s had to happen sooner or later. I’m going on a full hiatus. It’s the last month of my Master’s degree and it’s been insane. I don’t have enough time to do everything I need to do, let alone what I want to. As in I’ve been trying to be responsible and planning out how to manage my time properly, and my conclusion for the last week had been if I did everything I needed done by this week, I had about 12 hours of total time to delegate to sleeping/anything that isn’t purely work, over 7 all days. It’s about similar for next week

I’m dying and I can’t afford to be here at all. I’m already making compromises in my work to make sure I don’t kill myself because don’t worry I’m doing my best to take care of myself too but basically, yeah, I’m going to be fully gone.

If you want to contact me, I’ll still be lurking around IM and you can always find me on Skype cheryl.neves

Wish me luck guys!

542 Days Clean and Sober

My iron levels are feeling close to needing an emergency transfusion. I know the feeling because I’ve gone through it before. I have very little stamina and I’m super dizzy. I biked to the store to pick up prescriptions and I almost fainted on the way home. I have a headache that won’t go away no matter how much I rest or what kind of painkillers, anti-inflammatories I take. My hands and feet are freezing and tingly. I’m going through ice cubes like crazy! I’m absolutely exhausted. I cannot take iron supplements because they make me vomit. If anything worsens I have admit myself to emergency because of the risk it might cause to my heart.

Besides that everything is ok. Lack of energy means lots of pillow nesting and quiet time. I’m a little frustrated but I know it won’t last forever so I got to keep pushing through.

I have minor stress things like lack of money (I’m surviving on PB&J sandwiches, ramen noodles and coffee, spent my leftover tattoo cash last week to buy food and pay my phone/iPad bill), possibility of finding a new place to live (more on that in the coming months). I’m not like super stressed because until Wednesday there is nothing I can do. Why worry about tomorrows troubles when I can lie comfortably in my nest and watch Grey’s Anatomy. Priorities.

anonymous asked:

I know what you mean! As a nonbinary femme, I think of my femininity as a weapon. It's like a dare for someone to think I'm weak so I can prove them wrong. I feel extremely empowered. I honestly hate thinking of myself as a victim.

I think most people still hold that perception that women are weaklings who need validation from men and only serve to be sexualized objects and I hate that anyone could ever think of me that way too. makes me sick. We aren’t victims

2

I seek a daddy. Im 19 soon 20.
I broke my arm so for now no nudes and i have to trust you first.
So im not really a little but kinda still.
1. Idont have a little age. And i most likely never will. Maybe 12 or 13 if your demanding it.
2. Dont talk down to me baby language makes it seem like you think im stupid if i want baby language i Will start it myself and when i stop it you will accept it.
3. If i say no to something i most likely have a reason such as maybe im not comfertable or in the mood. And you will respect it.
4. You have to be older than me. But dont be like 30…. unless you look like your in the twenties.
5. I live in Denmark so might be time difference.
6. I seriously suck at dirty talk. So dont make me. Im great with rp tho.
7. Since i never had a daddy i havent had any rules. So warning i may tell you off if you try put up any. Allthough bedtime is cool. Cuz i suck at getting myself in bed.
8. PICTURE OF YOUR FACE OR BYE
(Allthough even better if you could do from torso… plz have a hot body)
9. If you want pictures of me you cant deny me pictures of you. I usually just ask upper body if your hot.
10. I might reject you if your not attractive but… i have to be attracted to you at some lvl right?
11. My previous relationship i never had the comfert i was seeking they were always they would never try to comfert me when i was sad or scared but i would do it for them.. PLEASE give me the comfert i am craving
12. I prefer snap cuz i always ignore my kik.. but if not snap i guess i Will make a change.
13. Daily talk thanks.
14. I like getting kinky.
15. Most important. BE ROUGH.