but i need to make jokes okay

turned sour - dino x reader

ugh, i am SO SO sorry for the long wait. this is probably the longest oneshot i’ve written in awhile and i’m quite happy with it! btw dino is just so fun to write. he’s bubbly, he’s happy, he’s good-humored, he’s generally a ball of sunshine but also very mature when he needs to be. thanks for the req anon ^^

Word count: 4133

Date posted: 1/15/2017

TWs: umm swears and a lot of sushi. like a fuck ton.


“…so tonight’s okay, (y/n)?” You couldn’t fight off the smile that crept onto your face as you answered him. Chan just had a way of making you grin, whether it was a really bad joke or his bright, cheery voice.

“Of course,” you said, pacing up and down the living room of your apartment, giddy with excitement. “See you at seven, then?”

“You betcha! Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.” You hung up hastily before throwing yourself onto the couch and strangling the nearest pillow with your arms, squealing with excitement. “Yes, yes, yes!” You laughed and bounced up and down on the cushions, ecstatic. It was silly, but you couldn’t help it; the joy and excitement of the past few days was threatening to burst out of you.

Keep reading

do you ever like… hear somebody make a joke about how sad they are and everyone else is laughing but you’re sitting there like: i gotta help this guy. holy shit are you okay bud. nice joke but for real i’m here when you need me we can talk about anything no judgement

Public Sex With George Would Include...

RequestOkay so public sex with George. I don’t know I just need something about it.

  • “Shh, babygirl, you don’t want us to get caught do you?”
  • “No,”
  • “Then be quiet or I’ll stop.”
  • Him teasing the fuck out of you.
  • Sex in a restaurant.
  • Sex at a park.
  • Sex at a muggle theater.
  • Oral under the table.
  • Mrs. Weasley getting concerned.
  • Fred catching on and freaking making jokes.
  • “Oi, George, what’s that I smell? Is that - that the smell if, se-”
  • You smacking Fred in the mouth.
  • Just tons of public sex. 
  • HIM WALKING OUT WITH NEW HICKEYS
  • AND RON IS LIKE
  • “When did those get there?”
  • AND YOU’D RESPOND 
  • “Ronald, I will personally kick your arse if you don’t bloody shut up.”
  • AND FRED WOULD BE ALL LIKE
  • “Oh so George has grown up has he? Was he any goo-”
  • AND PERCY SHUTTING HIM UP BY SAYING
  • “I didn’t want to picture that!”
  • BILL LAUGHING REALLY HARD AS YOUR FACE GETS REDDER AND REDDER
  • “Wow! No one said you had to picture it!”
  • BILL WOULD LAUGH!

PLEASE STOP MAKING JOKES ABOUT SEUNGKWAN’S WEIGHT BECAUSE ONE IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD BEING MADE FUN OF AND TWO HE IS SO SKINNY TO ME EVERYTIME I SEE HIS ARMS I GET SO WORRIED BECAUSE I KNOW HE IS TRYING TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT BUT HE DOESN’T NEED TO OKAY THANK YOU THAT IS ALL

The kids are doing it
  • Soldier 76: *wraps an arm around Mercy before nuzzling his nose against hers*
  • Mercy: *blushing uncontrollably*
  • 76: So how about it?
  • Mercy: How about what?
  • 76: Us. Being a... you know.
  • Mercy: Elaborate.
  • 76: *rubs neck before turning red in the face* A couple. I never had a chance to start things with you back then and I don't want to pass up on it now so... what do you say?
  • Mercy: Jack, we're at war. We... we can't be in a relationship. It'll compromise things. We can't do that to the team
  • 76: But all the kids are doing it
  • Mercy: Doing what?
  • 76: Having sex these days and hooking up
  • Mercy: WTF WHO IS DOING WHO
  • 76: O_o;
  • Mercy: *shakes 76 violently*
  • 76: They are using protection...
  • Mercy: WHO IS THEY?!
  • 76: ...
  • Mercy: *evil, threatening glare* Jack Morrison you tell me right now who is doing who!
  • 76: ._. D.Va and Junkrat
  • Mercy: MY PURE CHILD HAS SINNED
  • 76: She was sinning long before she started playing with his junk
  • Mercy: *hisses and storms off to murder Junkrat*
  • 76: Get it... his junk *laughs*

I usually leave short, passive aggressive comments on videos with stupid CC, but I decided to go full on sass on this @markiplier video… I am very happy that @therealjacksepticeye made a tumblr post about it (which you can read here), but I don’t feel like real change is going to happen until creators make videos explaining why jokes in CC is not okay.

[I’m hoping that this will make @rikkipoynter proud of me] 

[Also, @danisnotonfire and @amazingphil need to start CC their videos, just saayyinnnnn]

Things that need to be left in 2015
  • 3rd wave Feminism - Seriously that shit needs to go.
  • Otherkin- Sad and pathetic but very very funny.
  • Trigger warnings and safe spaces - You’re an adult , act like it you will not be coddled.
  • Male tears and making fun of men for having emotions - Do I really need to explain?
  • Endorsing obesity and a unhealthy life style. - I’m talking to you pro fat community.
  • Being PC- learn to take a joke not everything is offensive.
  • Doxxing- MY private info is MY private info not the worlds. Grow up.
  • Bullying artist to the point of attempted suicide - Seriously what makes you think it’s okay to do this to someone? 
  • Shoplifting community - You’re not stealing for survival, there for you shouldn’t be stealing.
  • SJW’s - Once again must I explain. 
  • Self diagnosing - If your not a health care professional then don’t make medical diagnoses.
  • Rape culture- It doesn’t exist , no one promotes rape, our culture doesn’t promote it.
  • Yes all men - I’m looking at you sjw and feminist . Its just stereotyping men and degrading them. And I though your movements were about equality?

WTF?!! I’m seriously so disappointed with chapter 192. After all the hype of this Takumi + Megumi vs. Rindou, it was ended up for nothing?! Is this serious?

Beside Souma vs Hayama’s match, TakuMegu Vs Rindou’s match was actually keep being highlight on these recent chapters unlike the others. So am I supposed to be okay when the TakuMegu vs Rindou match was just a JOKE?!! Then for what all those hype that the author kept throwing into my face?? I’ve been waiting for ALL WEEKS to see this takumegu vs rindou match and it all comes for nothing! This is probably for the plot wise so takumegu can survive but still give me at least a chapter when they were making the food for Rindou alas don’t even try to hype it if not going anywhere! So disappointed  feeling like shoving my head rn don’t need one more troll in my life 

but the cover…

these fantastic four look so fabulous i can’t even, okay Tsukuda I kind of forgive you a little bit…

OTP BEING SUCH A DORK!! *gif list of my feels…*

Alright I forgive you Tsukuda but still

I LOVE YOU TSUKUDA SO PLEASE MAKE THESE TWO SHIPS (TAKUMEGU &SORINA) CANON LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!

Before and After Ep 10
  • Before: Ha! Another ep of YoI and I'm ready to see that medal and don't suffer by it not being a ring!
  • Aftet: WHAT THE FECK U JOKING, ITS A FREAKING RING OMG ITS AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • I need to re-see just to make sure it isn't my imagination
  • After re-seeing: One more time
  • After re-re-seeing: Okay, maybe I just need one more
  • After re-re-re-seeing: Jesus fuck it's real
  • After seeing Pichit just confirming it: OH MY GAH
  • After VIKTOR CONFIRMING IT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • After Yuuri asking Victor to be his coach: ........
  • Kill me now
BTS Reaction To Their S/O Joining A Foreign Military

(( I do not own any gifs unless otherwise stated ))

Requested by anon~

Jin: *spends hours on his phone making sure there wasn’t any big attacks

Yoongi: Be safe please… *Whenever someone comes in who looks professional he is afraid they are going to tell him bad news*

Hoseok: Joining the army? I thought you were joking! *Doesn’t care who they’re fighting for just that they are okay*

Namjoon: *Skypes them every day to make sure everything is alright* And then Jimin hit the high note and his face was like

Jimin: *brags about how amazing they are* And they joined a foreign military so they could help those in need!

Taehyung: *Constantly scared for their safety* but what if…

Jungkook: Oh i get it because you’re a fan you’re joining the army! wait you’re actually joining the military? *knows they are going to do good in the world but also wished they would stay*

avatarsymbolismsblogs  asked:

au + 5 hc - everything is the same, but with more dad jokes (atla and/or lok)

Okay, but just imagine Ozai making dad jokes.  He’s just a much of an abusive genocidal utter monster as in canon, but he makes dad jokes constantly.  He makes them when he burns and banishes Zuko.  He makes them as he sends Azula out to chase her brother.  He makes them when Zuko comes home.  H makes them in the war meeting when he decides to set fire to the entire Earth Kingdom.  He makes them when Zuko confronts him on the Day of Black Sun.  He makes them when he makes Azula Firelord and tells her to stay home.  He probably made one to Azulon’s face when arguing he should get the throne.  The only thing that unites Zuko and Azula is their desperate desire to make him stop.

“By the way, since you can only play the bonus mode after beating V3, please surmount the new killing game first. After that you can play [the bonus mode] as much as you like.”

Okay, so I know that he’s partially joking around and doing that “being self-aggrandizing via self-deprecation” thing, but for fuck’s sake, part of Kodaka thinks that the fans wouldn’t want to play his new game unless the old characters were dangled in front of people and I find that so simultaneously sad and infuriating.

Me when Writing

Me: This is gonna be so awesome, I’m so ready. *writes for ten minutes, looks up* 

Me: What? I’ve only written two lines? Dang.

 Me: okay, I need to actually do this now 

*half an hour later* 

Me: wow that was amazing, I must have written like two thousand words. I totally deserve a break. Pat on the back. 

*checks word count* 

Me: I’m gonna guess, 1927 words 

Word count: 325 words 

Me: WHAT? 

Me: but 

Me: 

Me: I’m taking a break. 

*2 hours later* 

Me: ok, break over, I’m gonna do this properly now. *quickly proof reads first paragraph* 

Me: what was that? 

*deletes first paragraph* 

Me: I’m sure it was good? Where is the good stuff? Must be here. 

*reads second paragraph* 

Me: That was actually terrible… 

*deletes second paragraph* 

Me: Well if they were both rubbish, then this MUST be good… 

*reads third paragraph* 

*deletes third paragraph* 

Me: ok, the rest better be good. 

*looking up at a blank screen, having deleted it all* 

Me: Break time

Okay, so I know that Klance is the big ship for Voltron fans, and I don’t wanna take that away from you, but…have you considered Lance and Hunk being the ultimate “bros”? Like, they’ll just be having a normal conversation, and suddenly:

“It makes sense that we’re the legs of Voltron, bro.”

“Why’s that, bro?”

“Because we need each other to keep going.”

“Bro”

And this happens all the time, multiple times a day. And nobody can tell if Lance and Hunk are a) aware of what they are doing and are just joking around, but are still totally platonic, b) actually flirting, or c) entirely oblivious as to what their conversations look like from an outside perspective and are 100% serious about these comments.

anonymous asked:

what really makes me upset is how jb said "have you changed" and "do i have to watch out" to yj and kept basically making no homo jokes and how a lot of igot7s are trying to defend his actions :/// theyre just brushing it off and its scary lol

okay, so, i was trying to stay quiet and stop answering asks about this whole situation but i think that i need to take this out of my chest. first of all, i love jaebum and i would never erase all the great things he did and continue to do on his daily basis, he’s a great leader and he brings much joy to my life. however, he’s a human and, breaking news, humans can fuck up – and i don’t say this to defend him, in fact, i say this so the people that were defending him can realize that it’s okay to acknowledge that some of his comments were a bit too much and affected negatively a whole community, which, btw, i make part of. 

after all, what really made me disgusted in this entire mess was the fact that people, before some koreans announced that those subs were mistranslated, tried to shut down the people offended by those comments, blaming on everything else but jaebum himself. homophobia is universal and it’s a big, tremendous issue. i was born in a conservative environment and yet, i got to grow up and educate myself about minorities and other things that my family wouldn’t talk about or tell me that it’s bad. jaebum travelled a lot, he met a bunch of people, he uses internet, plus it’s 2016 not 1916 so let’s, for once, not blame this on his culture (i mean, youngjae, who, as far as i know, was also born and raised in the same country, was right there and he didn’t have the same behaviour as jaebum). on the other hand, jaebum always had this necessity to keep his “chic and sexy” & manly image, which i don’t think it’s healthy for him, justly because it can lead him to be awkward and say stupid shit like these when it’s really not that deep. 

i hope jaebum educates himself and be careful with his words next time, because i watched the entire episode and, even after the mistranslation explanation, some of his comments continue to be unnecessary and suspicious. now, about the people bringing his anger issues past, which btw he has been working on for years and getting each day better, calling him ‘abusive’ (or doing these really stupid got6 jokes), they are just taking this too far; yes, jaebum fucked up this time, but this doesn’t give you the right to send death threats to someone you don’t know nor make assumptions like “he’s probably abusive to his members”. wtf is wrong with you.

lastly (and this is not only about jb): 

  1. call someone out =/= attack
  2. stan someone =/= defend
  3. send hate =/= educate

a) you can still love and support a person, even after they did something problematic.

b) if someone is offended about something problematic your fave did or said, stay quiet, listen to them and try to understand. don’t tell them to shut up nor how to feel. 

c) acknowledge that what your fave did was wrong and live with that. 

d) please, don’t send me more questions about this, three pimples popped on my forehead while i was typing this essay.