but i need my own set

Keeping Oneself Entertained in a Magical Castle Over Summer Break: Part 1

JD-

If you haven’t gotten the gist of this update from the above title, it’s pretty obvious. Kids are out of school, and while I could use this time to go home or take my own personal adventure I’ve opted to hold down the fort while Emily takes some much needed time off.

So this of course raises the question, what can a single man do in an almost completely empty castle filled with magic and mystery to keep himself entertained?

Well, today hooked up a projector so I can play Rocket League in the Great Hall…. That’s sort of it, took 3 hours to set up. Sure I’m surrounded by secret corridors and untold surprises just waiting to be discovered, but you know… Rocket League!

inkberrys1  asked:

Promo eddsworldhipsterdreamcafe? I'm sorry, but I seriously need the promos and I have the blog all set up except for a Matt mod and maybe Pau and Pat but please hear me out I just want a promo from someone, anyone at this point. If you don't, I might give up.

((Ye of course pal! I don’t mind doing promos at all, especially now that I can’t really update my own ask blog.)) 

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

anonymous asked:

Pls bullet point what you liked about the video

A post shared by Dan Howell (@danisnotonfire) on Mar 3, 2017 at 8:36am PST

  • it’s such a random slice of d+p’s day-in-the-life
    • like seriously… what lead up to this meme-y encounter?
    • i just like how this takes place in their house that they share together
    • like it just makes you think this ain’t the only shit they get up to
      • so many bants and lil pranks 
        • it’s so cute
  • there’s no explanation as to why they are holding hats
    • dan’s on the stairs to the gaming room.. but?
      • what video would they need the hats for????¿
      • is that the cowboy hat from the fanfic moment in tatinof lol
  • wait …is phil holding… a sombrero 
    • why does he have a sombrero…? ??
  • the anticipation before dan throws the hat 
    • like, you can just feel him go ‘>:D here’s my chance!!!’
    • how long was he waiting at the top of the stairs for
      • he must’ve given himself time to set up his camera and like, turn around .  
        • unless he had it all planned and ready
          • for some silly contribution to a meme ffs dan omg
            • did he practise throwing it or
  • phil totally oblivious as to what is about to happen
    • he’s just in his own world before the hat reaches him
      • he was totally fine and dandy 
        • he doesn’t deserve this
          • save phil 20k17
  • dan saying ‘what in tarnation’ really quickly before it turns into slow motion
    • gtg fast
    • how ironic
  • the Slow Motion™
    • i feel like it needs some classical music
    • like, it reminds me of this video too much
  • dan’s booming laugh? in slow mo? 
    • amazing
  • the hat’s impact 
    • it like bounces all around phil’s head but doesn’t land
      • it like dances around that beauty wow
    • i love the tufts of phil’s fringe that go everywhere
      • and then just fwoosh’s downwards
  • phil’s recoil in slow mo
    • at first he’s just frazzled looking down/around/behind him
    • but then he sees where the hat actually came from
    • and immediately aims his gaze @ dan
      • he has to live with this lil shit jfc
      • save phil 20k17 x2
  • as phil looks up his fringe follows  behind
    • it’s so LONG
      • i didn’t know his fringe was that long
        • it looks like it’s just gonna fly off his head
          • first dan’s eyebrow in the horse selfie and now this
  • he’s still looking around at this point 
    • he’s like ‘? ?? ? ?  where??? what??’
  • the 😟 look he gives dan
    • it’s as if he’s saying ‘why’
    • it feels like this isn’t the first time something like this has happened
    • save phil 20k11o01029432348 x3
  • the quiet lil snort before dan talks
    • i lov u
      • idk if that was d/p but i lov u
  • THE Z O O M IN ON PHIL’S LIL FACE
    • HE’S like STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT JUST HAPPENENDN FKFKKFDSFKDSSDK
  • dan saying ‘almost’
    • u can hear the lil chuckle in his voice 

overall, pure wholesome content funny banterful interaction 10/10 would watch 5 more times i hope phil gets his revenge soon


i probably missed some things but that’s off the top of my head
thank you for giving me the chance to share this break down of the video

feel free to share reasons why u loved it too

Couch Witchcraft

Because I’m tired and need to be a better witch.

🔮 Do some scrying! All you need is a black mirror or other opaque surface (such as your couch) and you’re set. I often just sit there and scry for random things I’ve been wondering about or need help with.

🔮 Try graphology, or scrawl divination. Simply take a pad of paper and a pen, and begin randomly scrawling all over the page. It helps to have a question, and maybe a specific spirit to invoke to guide your hand, but I honestly do it all on my own and just ask for my guides to help me. Pro tip: hold a chunk of quartz in your hand for protection from negative spirits and amplifications of the answer you’re receiving.

🔮 Practice visualization and try to channel your energy. There are tons of exercises out there, but here are two that I’ve been using forever:

To Channel energy with visualization:
1. Begin by visualizing fire in your elbows down to your wrists. Focus on what you see in your mind, what you feel, what you can smell, etc. Whatever works best, use it.
2. Now, rub your hands together, slowly at first. Try to push the energy in your arms into your hands, breaking the barrier that separates them. Like a circuit, connect the two energies together.
3. Next, spread your hands apart, and try to keep the the energy flowing. Shape the energy into a ball, or anything you like.
4. Give it intent, and release it into the Universe.

To create a circuit for grounding and centering:
1. Place one hand on the ground (the Earth is preferable, but any floor that directly leads to the Earth works too).
2. Focus on what you want to release. Are you angry? Sad? Tired? Feel the energy draining from your body as you push into the Earth. Do this until you feel like the energy has been released. Visualize it being recycled into peaceful, ripe energy.
3. Take your other hand and place it about a foot away from the other. Now, while you press into the Earth with both hands, take in energy from the Earth. Push it out while also taking it in, like a circuit. The energy flows in from one hand, and out the other. When you feel you have been filled with good energy, slowly break the circuit one hand at a time.

🔮 Draw sigils! You can create them based on your favourite​ TV or book series if you want, or just make ones you feel you need.

🔮 Charge sigils! I use fidget spinners to charge mine (I roll up a piece of paper with the sigils on it, and stick them through the holes where the bearings go, and then spin it). But you could also just rub them!

🔮 Make bracelets and weave your intent into them! Knot magic and energy work is my favourite​ thing. You can use colour correspondence and add charms for an added boost.

🔮 Write in your dream journal. If you suddenly remember your dreams while sitting on the couch like I do, it would be a great idea to write them down in your dream journal.

🔮 Burn a candle or some incense to bring in something or get rid of something. I like to light a white candle to help cleanse me as I sit on the couch, and sometimes I’ll leave a crystal nearby to be charged and to spread its affects.

🔮 Sew a poppet! Just leave the head part open so you can add crystals, herbs, stuffing, taglocks, etc. Make a few in different colours so you can have them ready the nextti e you need them.

🔮 Make a sachet. Use whatever plants you have on add during that season, like lavender for Summer and those pretty red Christmas flowers whose name escapes me at the moment for Winter.

🔮 Write in your spellbook. Create new spells, describe how a past one turned out, or maybe research herbal or crystal uses.

🔮 Make some pretty bookmarks! Laminate pressed flowers, use ribbons, or even create those monster page corner things! You can use these in your spellbook or in whatever book you’re reading.

🔮 Read a witchy book! You’ll learn something new and maybe be inspired to do some witchy things! And even if you don’t end up liking the book, you’ll get some insight on what other people do with their craft.

🔮 Meditate. It helps improve tons of things. Ex: concentration, breathing, and focus. These are all great things, both for witchcraft and regular mundane things.

Laurel’s Guide to Grimoires

A while back I made a post about how I organize my Grimoire/Book of Shadows and for a long time since then I’ve wanted to a sort of 101 for creating a Grimoire/Book of Shadows. Be warned, this will be a long post! As always, this is merely my opinion, my word is not law.

(UPDATED 4/24/17; All updates are marked)

Originally posted by ephemeralsyzygy

-The Grimoire Basics-

What is a Grimoire?

As my own personal definition, a Grimoire is simply any book used by a witch in his/her/their own personal practice. There is no limit as to what a Grimoire can or cannot be, as each one is as unique as the witch who wrote it.

How do I use a Grimoire?

A grimoire is used to document, or keep track of, any magickal information that is relevant to the practitioner.It serves to log everything you need to know in your own personal craft. 

-Types of Grimoires-

These are my own personal “styles” of grimoires that I have made over the years. These are not the only “kinds” of grimoires, merely suggestions.

- “Textbook” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that is set up to serve as a reference book, a book strictly for spiritual or magickal information. 

- “Practical” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that can serve a practical purpose, such as a recipe or spell book. Often more portable than a standard grimoire.

- “Inspirational” Grimoire: These are often called inspiration journals. They are filled with spiritual images, quotes and writings to serve as a sort of “bible.”

- “Memory Keeping” or “Journal” Grimoire: This is a grimoire that serves to be a personal record of thoughts and feelings pertaining to spiritual activity in your life. 

-Grimoire Keeping Methods-

- Blank bound or spiral bound Notebooks
    - I’ve actually seen someone tape composition notebooks together to get             a “thick” book.
- Recycled or used hard/soft cover books
- Binders
- OneNote/Tumblr/Internet
- Computer Folder/Flash Drive/Memory Card

-How to make a Grimoire-

I recommend that if you are starting a grimoire or are a relatively new witch, don’t even bother buying a nice, expensive, fancy journal. Most of the time (unless you’ve already done one or two grimoires before and you know exactly what you’ll be putting in this grimoire), that book will sit on a shelf and collect dust. Many new witches get excited to have a “fancy” grimoire and then become terrified of “messing up” in it which results in that book never being used. We’ve all been there, done that.

That being said, here are the basic steps I followed when making my “permanent” grimoire.

- Decide on your Grimoire Keeping Method
 - Gather the information that you would like to put into your grimoire (this can sometimes take a very long time, it took me years), although if the “write as you go” method is more comfortable for you, then go ahead.
- Organize your information. If you’re a perfectionist like me, this might take a bit. It’s also completely natural to change up your organization style later on.
- Protect/Consecrate your Grimoire. This is completely optional, but it can also be a fun “witchy” way to bond with your grimoire.
- Put all your information in your book in anyway that you desire. I found it useful to “plan” out the book before I started writing in all the information. This way I knew exactly what pages were going where.
- Decorate your Grimoire. Also, completely optional. Some people like decorating with flowers and ribbons and pictures and stickers. Other people prefer straight to the point text. Either way works perfectly fine.

A quick note for those who suffer from the perfectionist complex: don’t sweat it. We all want our books to be “perfect” but after writing about six grimoires I’ve learned that grimoires really don’t ever become “permanent” because our preferences change as we grow. If you’re worried about it being perfect, starting “planning” pages in a cheap journal. Take note of any mistakes or things you want to change. You can always create another grimoire later. Don’t let that pesky perfectionism hold you back. And if you make mistakes, try to work with them and turn them into something else instead of scrapping your book to start over.

I used to dream of having a huge, Charmed-like Grimoire, and now I prefer the small, sloppy, scrap book, messy-writing kind of grimoire. Don’t sweat it.

Things to put in your Grimoire

- Correspondences
- Sabbats, Esbats and any Holidays you celebrate
- How to cast spells
- Spells and Rituals
- Divination
- Astrology
- Herbs and Recipes
- Crystals
- Topics you’d like to learn about later.

@cosmic-witch has a HUGE list of topics here

How to organize your Grimoire

This post details my own personal Grimoire Index. However the best way to organize your grimoire would be whatever works best for you. I personally like having everything divided into matching sections. However, if you write spells a lot, you may want spell writing notes in the front, while correspondences would be better in the back. It’s all up to personal preference. 

 Witchy-Woman’s Grimoire Organization

TripleVirgo’s Grimoire Index

 My Tips on Grimoire Organization

(UPDATED 4/24/17)

Other Grimoire Tips

- Intention Cheat Sheets. When you want to write a spell, nothing sucks more than having to flip back and forth all over your grimoire to find the information you need. My advice is to make “cheat sheets” for each of your intentions. Pick an intention, such as Money, and write down anything that corresponds to that (colors, herbs, moon phases or zodiac signs, crystals, incense, etc) this way the next time you want to do a spell for Money, you can just flip to your cheat sheet and be done. (UPDATED 4/24/17)

- Incognito Grimoire: Find a generic book that you like at a Goodwill or second hand shop. Write your witchcraft notes/correspondences in the margins and spacing. Use markers or crayons to draw pictures and symbols. You can also glue blank pages into the book so you have more space to write anything you want. This way your Grimoire can sit in plain sight on your bookshelf when you have company over and no one will be the wiser.

- So You Don’t Think You Can Grimoire: Tips and ideas for witches who struggle with the “My handwriting is terrible and I can’t draw” complex. (UPDATED 4/24/17)

- Scrapbook Altars

- Create a Magickal Memories Folder

This post will probably be a “masterpost” of sorts that I’ll continue to add to as the inspiration strikes. If anyone has any ideas or grimoire-related topics they’d like to see, feel free to share!

~L

This is a small post to say, I appreciate all your positive words & criticisms too.
Feedback is an opportunity to learn.
In particular, I believe being open to criticism can make our journey through life a lot smoother. Whether it’s constructively intended or not, you have the option to use it, or ignore it. I want to let you all know, I am open to any concerns you have, with how I stream or jokes I make. The streamers & I all use this tag to interact with the community and to share positivity. We all try our best at being easily approachable, reading our emails & answering our asks as promptly as possible. Communication is important  to all of us & it’s something I value highly.

This year I have set my values around sharing as much positivity as possible. To say the least, it’s what we all need right now. Even as a Video Game Streamer, this is something we can all get behind- that sharing happiness is one of the only things that lasts in the world and in the end connects us all.

My stream is not a place for vitriol or spreading hatred. I don’t want you to think about negativity in my stream, well all have enough of it in our own lives- whoever you are. I owe this to you & anyone that looks toward my content for a laugh.

I try to grow each year as a person, as do we all, however I still make mistakes. I’m constantly learning about people and how to better myself. If there’s anything I can improve upon in my streams send me a mail or an ask.

John Lennon said “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

I count my life by smiles- you have all brought me thousands. This year, I’m going to try my best to give it back and spread as much positivity and love as possible.

7 Key Insights on Self Love

1. I need to affirm and to validate myself as it’s hard to accept validation from others if, deep down inside, I don’t believe it’s true.

2. My time is valuable as anybody else’s so I need to prioritise what I need to do.

3. I can’t give to others, and help to build them up, if I’m not taking care of my own self first.

4. I need to remember that I’m worthy of love, of success, opportunities, and knowing happiness.

5. My opinions are as valuable as anybody else’s. It’s up to me to decide and to choose my own beliefs.

6. I don’t have to explain why I do what I do (unless you’re the police or have some authority!)

7. My past does not define me - I’m free to change and grow, to try on different “me”s, and to set inspiring goals.

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

❝ You are really perfect ❞

Plot:  You and Jimin fights, he calls you clingy and annoying and says he hates when you steal his clothes. So you begin to act “cold”, because you don’t want to be clingy and annoying, first he didn’t realise you stopped doing that but then he does and feels guilty and sad and you can keep going from that, so he makes it up to you.

Pairing: JiminxReader

Words count: 2,3k+

Genre: Slighty angst/Fluff in the end 

For anon, I hope you like it! - M. 

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner!

Everyone at the Big Hit building knew you, so when you came with snacks for everyone they could not do anything but love you even more.  

Immediately one of BTS’ manager told you that they were in the rehearsal room, so smiling you did a deep bow as a thanksgiving and you headed to the rehearsal room.  

It was the first time you visited the new building, but fortunately, a gentle lady pointed you in the direction you had to follow. They were all so polite and kind that you almost felt a rude person in comparison, even though your boyfriend kept saying you were the best person he had ever known.  

Trying not to drop anything, you didn’t want to waste the morning you spent cooking leaving the food on the ground, you’d better squeeze the heat bag in your hand and knocked gently on the blown glass door that divided the rest of the world from the Bangtan.  

A “c'mon” practically screamed at lungs gave you permission to enter and making, even more, attention you opened the door and entered, recognizing immediately Jungkook’s and Taehyung screams that greeted you enthusiastically.  

“Noooooona!” Jungkook ran to help you, perhaps more interested in the food than your presence but you could understand it. Surely they were practicing for hours and they had to be all hungry.  

“Hi Kookie, yes you can bring away the food….” You giggled as you approached the rest of the group, already trying to check what was in the bag. Check and scream of joy, because it was all homemade food and already just opening the zipper the scent was flared out.  

You’d fix better Jimin’s T-shirt you wore, you slipped it into skinny jeans because you were smaller and even lower than him, noticing only at that moment the slightly detached look of your boyfriend. Jimin wasn’t looking at you and it was almost a surprise because his smile was always the first thing to welcome you when you went to spend some time with them.  

“Aigoooo, Y/N, you cook better than Jin Hyung!” The voice of the leader rang in the room, making you laugh as you sat next to the pink-haired boy. You caressed his forearm, but the smile he made was visibly pulled so that you could be worried that something had happened before you arrived.  

He hadn’t touched food yet and didn’t seem intent on doing it, which pushed you to ask him what was going on.  

“Hey.. Something wrong, Chiminnie? ”  

“No.”  

You flinched slightly feeling his blunt response, while with the corner of the eye you would notice Namjoon’s gaze on you. He seemed worried and this did nothing but confirm your concerns.  

“Are you sure..?”  

“Y/N; Stop. I said there’s nothing wrong, can you just worry about your business for once?  

Keep reading

I don’t tell a lot of people this but about two years ago I was minding my own business playing with my miniature train set when I heard a knock on my door.  I went to answer it and it was a roving gang of communists, dressed in red and holding sickles, and they demanded that I hand over my hot wheels collection (valued at over $540,000) so they could distribute it to everyone according to their need.  I of course refused and immediately went to work boarding my windows. I held out for 27 days until a relief force arrived and drove them off.

being part of a fandom gets a lot easier once you realise there’s more than one way to interpret a character

Things I know now about college that I didn't before

♦️Carry a 1L water bottle everywhere and refill it as needed or you will get dehydrated and feel dizzy walking from class to class in the midday sun

♦️Find out where microwaves are available and save some money by avoiding any overpriced campus food. Watch out for lines though!

♦️Make friends with your TAs I cannot stress this enough. They usually aren’t out to get you and understand the struggles of an undergrad.

♦️You are always going to carry too much stuff in your bag. Planning on doing your econ, math, and bio hw in your two hour break? Think again. Be realistic or your back will pay

♦️Even if you prefer print books over ebooks, the fact that you literally always have access to your ebooks on any mobile device you have will be a blessing

♦️Sometimes certain offices and buildings and labs on campus have their own free printing, separate from the library or your dorm

♦️Invest in a printer if you can (b&w is all you need btw). Share the cost with your roommate for ink and paper and charge anyone else 50% of what your school charges per page. Charge so people don’t take advantage of your kindness!! You’ll save many, many, lives my friend.

♦️Set up an exercise schedule as strict as your class schedule. Try your very best to follow it

♦️Please eat at least twice a day I know it can be hard without having others to remind you.

♦️It’s ok to go a day alone, especially since college involves a lot more interaction than you may be used to.

♦️Work hard to understand and you’ll get the grades you deserve.

♦️Eat fresh fruit every once in a while your skin and insides will thank you.

♦️Invest in comfortable shoes or arch supports if needed. Don’t ignore physical discomfort!!

♦️Some people can regularly stay up til 4am and others can’t. Some people can’t function on less than 9hrs of sleep and others can live with only 4hrs. Everyone’s different!! Follow your own sleep schedule!!

♦️Pasta made with a bag of frozen veggies, a pack of pasta, and a jar of pasta sauce can last you most of a week.

♦️Talk to your professors about general things too like their dog or their weekend plans and all bc heh they’re human too and forming connections is great. Also, remember that being professional doesn’t mean being boring or serious all the time, crack some jokes and don’t stifle your personality.

♦️Set boundaries early on in /all/ your relationships, personal, romantic, professional, all of them. Show people you know you deserve respect and they’ll give it to you.

♦️Lastly, college is mostly for academics but hey you aren’t just a student. You’re someone’s kid, friend, employee, advisor, etc. balance out playing those roles too.

anonymous asked:

What was your inspiration behind the creation of legmon?

My incessant need to talk about how Namjoon is 90% leg, 0% butt, and 100% walking disaster

levy-anakin  asked:

Oo so I was thinking maybe Lance has a ton of weird knowledge because he loves reading books about different things (boats, building, animals/plants). So one day the gang is on a mission and someone gets a bomb strapped to them or there is just a bomb they need to defuse. Everyone is freaking out and trying to think. Lance gets near it and everyone just panics thinking he'll set it off, yelling/langst, then Lance defused it and everyone is in awe or something. I just love your blog!!

oh my god I’m so happy to hear that! I’m glad you enjoy my blog so much!

if it’s ok with you, I’m gonna do more of an overall plot ( and maybe mix in my own headcanons):

so pretty much, Lance grew up in an all Cuban house, he never learned English because he never needed to. he grew up helping his mama around the house or helping his father on his fishing boat.

that’s where Lance first fell in love with the stars. he would ask his dad all the time about them and the constellations they created. his father did his very best to fuel Lance’s interests, but they lived on a very low incomes, and alot of the time Lance didn’t get alot of stuff. he sometimes would skip meals and give hem to his younger siblings so that way they didn’t grow hungry. Lance didn’t get alot of books growing up, and any of the books about space were in English. when he heard about the Garrison, he knew he had to join. only problem was that it was in America, and Lance didn’t know English at all.

so Lance would go to the old library and pick up any English book he could get his hands on. childern’s books, worker manuals, how-to books, he read them all. he would learn both the English language as well as learn how to do anything the books were talking about. another way Lance learned English was watching American shows, he mostly stuck with historical or informational shows. learning how they talked and pronounced the words he’s red over time and time again. (the library only has a certain amount of English books, so he would reread he same ones over and over again) he also learned interesting facts about American history, or watch how to fix a car, he picked it all up.

when he finally applied to the Garrison, he was a ball of nerves. his English wasn’t the best, and his accent heavy in his voice as he sounds out different English words. but you can imagine how proud his family was when Lance didn’t just get accepted, but got a full ride scholarship as well. he promised to keep u his studies and that he wont let them down.

when he does get the Garrison, he realizes how bad his spoken English is compared to everyone else. many time he’ll say the wrong word or forget the English word entirely, and many chalk him up to being the class clown, thinking that he’s doing it on purpose. they don’t realize how much it hurts Lance whenever one of the teachers or another student calls him out for messing up a word or saying the wrong thing. Lance will spend all his time either in the simulation room or in the library, reading over and over different books about the most random of things, trying to both understand the lessons he was just taught as well as broadening his knowledge of the English language. it’s in the library that he met Hunk, and they both gain the first real friend at the Garrison.

now fast forward to the team meeting, and them releasing Allura and Coran, and forming Voltron and what not. Lance missing home so much because he misses his family, and wondering how they’re doing. he misses being able to speak his first Language, he misses calling up his brothers and talking to them explaining complex math and engineering that he learned that day, knowing how much his older brother loves talking about that kind of stuff.

every once in a while, Lance will slip up with his English and it’ll get either a couple of laughs or some scowls, the team thinking that he’s trying to mess around and pull jokes in very serious moments when really he just messed up and didn’t know the right word. Lance will do what he always does when he feels like he’s letting down everyone around him. he goes to the library. it took him awhile to find it, and everything was in Altean, but Lance didn’t mind. he enjoys learning languages and sets to work figuring out the Altean language.

then, some time later, during one to the training exercises, Allura decides to change things up a bit and do a team building exercise. she sets up a bomb (not a real one, that would be crazy) but she says its an old child’s game and while it doesn’t explode, it will make quite the mess if they don’t disarm it in time.

so everyone is talking, trying to figure out how to disarm the bomb, and every time Lance tries to add to the conversation, he gets talked over or ignored. Lance decides to look over the device, trying to recognize anything about it, or any of the words look familiar.  lance remembers about reading one of the books back at the Garrison about how to disarm a bomb (how it got into a space school, he doesn’t really know) and it looks to have the same basic design as one of them. all he really needs is to figure out which wire is the one to cut.

it seems that the others stopped talking at that time to seeing Lance hovering over the device with a pair of pliers, to which they freak out and pull him away, and right when he figured out which wire to cut, and chastise him for trying to do disarm the bomb without them, and some of the comments come off more rude than others and they even put him in a ‘time out zone’ for trying to eal with something very dangerous and sensitive, but they just didn’t want Lance to get hurt because he messed around with it. Lance merely stands back up and walks back over to the bomb, and picking out the right wires, he cuts them, to the teams horror, they brace for their gooey demise.

but nothing happens. the team is amazed that Lance actually defused the bomb. and of course they all crowd around Lance, asking how he did that and why he didn’t tell them he could do it and getting a few cheers of congratulations (mostly from Hunk) lance explains that he would read alot of books and informational shows to understand the English Language, and one of those books was about how to disarm a bomb. of course the others are surprised that English isn’t his first language (they assumed it was since he was at the Garrison) and he continues to explain that when he messes up his words,its not usually on purpose and that he honestly didn’t know the word in English. everyone apologizes about always getting on him when they thought he was joking, and he easily forgives them. afterwards, Shiro even comes up to Lance and personally apologizes about not figuring it out sooner, since he also struggled with learning English when he and his family moved to America. (cue bonding moment!)

and a little extra silliness on the side~

Lance knowing just the weirdest stuff about history, just odd tidbits that he picked u from those history shows, and just spouting them out at the most random of times.

“hey Lance, can you pass me that wrench?”

“did you know that in the 1700s, the french were scared of potatoes.”

“what? dude, that has nothing to do with getting the wrench! why on Earth would you say- you know what, screw it, why were the french scared of potatoes?!”

i know this wasn’t really angsty , but i hope you like it anyways! thank you so much for the ask!

tarot prompt list

a tarot card inspired prompt list for all your shipping needs, feel free to use any one aspect of a prompt you wish, or let it inspire you in your own way~

  • the lovers: love, harmony, mutual attraction
    “I love you so much.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: fluff, soulmate au, confessions, mutual pining
  • the fool: innocence, playfulness, recklessness;
    “Let’s go on an adventure!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: treasure hunter au, worrying, games  
  • the magician: transformation, beginnings, good omen;
    “I guess today’s my lucky day.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: first meeting, supernatural au, witch au  
  • the high priestess: magic, dreams, knowledge;
    “I had this dream, and now…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: visions, sold fortune, magic au  
  • the empress: passion, ferocity, fertility;
    “You cannot do this!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: motherhood, protectiveness, villain au  
  • the emperor: authority, discipline, stubbornness; 
    “You will do as I say.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: kingdom au, argument, enemies to lovers
  • the hierophant: community, learning, rituals;
    “We’ll always help each other out, right?”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: found family, highschool/uni au, teacher au  
  • the chariot: sacrifice, struggle, travel;
    “I’m sorry… I have to do this.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: boss fight, (assumed) goodbye, traveller au
  • strength: courage, obstacles, urges;
    “Together, we can do this!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: slow burn, action movie au, fighting together 
  • the hermit: solitude, withdrawal, introspection; 
    “Leave me alone. Please.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: hurt, stranded au, feeling-focused, lost  
  • the wheel of fortune: optimism, success, luck;  
    “We did it! I can’t believe it!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: genie au, chance/fated meeting
  • justice: karma, honesty, decisions;
    “I don’t know what to do.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: superhero au, dealing with consequences  
  • the hanged man: suspension, potential, indecision;
    “I can’t stay here, but I don’t know where to go. I’m stuck.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: prison/ex-convict au, internal conflict  
  • death: destruction, loss, change; 
    “I lost you. And it was unbearable.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: stages of grief, new beginnings, ex au  
  • temperance: communication, healing, moderation;
    “I’m here for you. You can talk to me.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: comfort, deep talks, hugging, woundtending  
  • the devil: failure, lust, temptation; 
    “You want it too…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: desire, nsfw, unrequited love, demon au  
  • the tower: drama, catastrophe, pride; 
    “Don’t be like that!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: angst, (post)apocalypse au, break-up
  • the star: renewal, hope, rest;
    “I feel at peace.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: star-gazing, lazy days, cuddling, spirit au
  • the moon: emotion, fantasy, confusion;
    “That’s rough, buddy.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: fantasy au, werewolf au, late night talks  
  • the sun: joy, friendship, prosperity;
    “I’m so happy.”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: friends to lovers, love realization, coffee shop
  • judgement: awakening, resurrection, absolution;
    “Why did you have to do this?!”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: reincarnation au, criminal (au), mistakes
  • the world: fulfillment, experience, completion; 
    “Do you remember, back when…”
    possible AUs/settings/ideas: old age, happy end, fantasy world au

anonymous asked:

Usually when you write a story you start with the plot idea, and then you proceed with the characters and the setting, right? Well, I did the exact opposite, and now I've got very defined characters and settings, and absolutely no idea about what am I supposed to do with them. Do you have any advice for me? <3 (P.S. English is not my first language, if anything is incorrect, I'm sorry ^^;) (P.P.S. I love your blog <3)

Hello, thank you for sending a message.

You don’t have to create a story by it’s plot. There’s no right or wrong in writing, no rules, just techniques (that might or might not work for you). Once, a friend of mine said: to write a novel, you create a set of characters, and you throw them in a fictional world to fend for themselves.

At first, I was a bit shocked.

But my friend explained: All characters, no exception, are just trying to fulfill their needs. Do you know the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

Characters must be somewhere in that pyramid, from wanting basic needs like food and shelter (The Walking Dead, for example) to needing success and personal growth (Eat Pray Love, for example). Take Romeo and Juliet for example, two teenagers estranged from their families. They need belongingness and love (third in the pyramid), so they bet their own lives to get that. This is the beauty of using the Maslow’s hierarchy as guidance… it makes plot so clear and obvious. 

My advice is: place your main character in the pyramid. 

Knowing what your main character needs, go on and create a plot on how they will fulfill that need, depending on how desperate they are to achieve it (the lower the need is, the more desperate characters must be). And that’s it.

By the way, don’t worry, English is not my first as well. :DD

5

Theo x Reader

Requested by Anon

Proof reading done by the awesome @joeynihil


“Theo?” You asked when you stopped next to him as he slyly rubbed up against you. “What’re you doing?” 

 “Nothing!” He almost squeaked which naturally had you suspicious that something was wrong worsening. 

 “Sure, I need to go and get my books from Stiles’ jeep I left them in there this morning.” You groaned and jumped when Theo grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you slightly. 

 “I can get them, I’m big and I’m bigger than Stiles so I can carry all the books you’ll ever own!” With that he let go of you and hurtled out of the building. 

Keep reading

Real Things that I've Said to my Service Dog in the Past 72 Hours

Are you peeing on my leg? Yes. You just peed on my leg.

You don’t get a treat if you took it away from me and then brought it back. That’s not how this works.

Why are you sitting like that?

Please don’t lick my nostrils.

“Leave it” includes flies.

Good. I’m glad the fly gave you hiccups.

You do not need your own pillow.

Did you just fall off the bed?

Me talking about you does not mean that I was talking to you.

You cannot eat things off the ground just because you are “off duty”.

*I set something down*
Do not pick that up.
*Bucky brings it to me anyway*

I am blowing my nose not crying but thank you for the comfort anyway.

That went really well aside from you farting very loudly when the cashier complimented you.

I asked for your leash not shampoo but good effort.