but i mean seven is such an awkward number

Things Medda has Overheard from her awkward and anxious son while he's alone
  • Jack: fucking...blue. Blue. What the fuck is blue. Why is blue...blue. Why am I pondering this at one am. Bed. I need to go to bed. Blue? No. Bed.
  • Jack: what the actual fuck. Triangles...do not look like that. I wanted a simple triangle this should be so hard.
  • Jack: Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Well honey, he's creeping outside your window right now, but don't let that's stop you from falling in love with him.
  • Jack: x equals...seven? And y is negative nine? But...that doesn't fit. Fucking...flip the signs and multiply FUCK YOU NEGATIVE NUMBERS
  • Jack: Macklemore didn't die for this. Macklemore didn't die for me to cry over chem homework. Chin up, Kelly, and do it for Mackie.
  • Jack: what if I just...asked? No, that'd be awkward. But how else will I find out? I mean, I think she does. But seriously. Does she? I mean, a real gold tooth? That'd be sick.
  • Jack: so...boy are cute. And girls are pretty. And I like both. And the word for that is bi. So it makes sense. And that's cool. But FEELINGS ARE STILL CONFUSING FUUUUUCK.
  • Jack: if I...went to bed...right now...it'd only be five pm but I'd get plenty of sleep for once. No homework done, but sleep is good, yeah? Yeah. Sleep. Sleep now.
♥ Tagged - Randomize my life! (SLBP Version)

Rules: Pick 15 people and randomize them here. Make a new post and fill in each section with the number corresponding to your results. Feel free to tag anyone!

I got tagged by @mandakatt  and decided to do this entirely SLBP style. But oh god, what have I created?!

1. Mom or Dad: Kenshin - Good lord can you imagine? It’d be like one of those sitcoms or dramedy movies where the kids take care of their loopy space-cadet father, wouldn’t it? Making their own breakfast, otherwise he’d be serving chocolate ice-cream on top of cinnamon toast crunch or something.

02. Sibling: Yukimura - Awww. Awwwww…this would be so cute. I’d totally welcome Yukimura as big or little bro. Either way he’s got your back!

03. Grandma or Grandpa: Shingen - Ahahahaha…ever met one of those pervy old grandpas that insist on telling you about all the ladies they dated before you grandma, or how suave they were back in their day, or giving you dating advice? And you’re just cringing and stuffing another deviled egg in your mouth at Christmas, desperately wondering why your wine glass doesn’t refill itself? No? Nobody? Is this just a problem I have??

04. Haunts you: Mitsunari -  What a shitty ghost to have, really. He’d organize your messy books, spoil makeup he thinks is cheap and tawdry, and rearrange the spilled salt to spell out insults. Heaven help you if you ever pulled out the ouija board - he’d manage to throw shade as a shade that would blister the devil’s own ear. No wonder he’s still stuck on earth.

05. Boyfriend or girlfriend: Toramatsu - It’s a heavy, weighty responsibility - that of corrupting the innocent. But I am ready, willing, and able to take on that burden sir yes sir!

06. Your ex: Mitsuhide - Oh man. It was probably one of those quiet breakups, the ones that almost hurt worse than the explosive types. Where you just realized one day that there was no way you could force a square peg into a round hole, but it’s not the other part’s fault. You don’t have a good reason to NOT be with him…you just don’t have a good reason TO, and that really. Really. Sucks.

07. Your best friend: Saizo - WTF. I feel like this would not really actually happen but if it did it’s more just because he’s also your brother Yukimura’s bestie and they include you in everything, until one day you wake up hungover in a strange place at 3 AM and when Yuki doesn’t answer you find you’ve called Saizo. It’s never spoken of again after he takes you home, but the knowing sits warm and tight in your chest for weeks afterwards, and when he just sort of shows up one day you sit around watching Deadpool and pick it apart together.

08. Proposed: Toshiie - Is this really any stretch? He’s probably been joking about marrying you since you were seven. When he asked at ten you squealed about how gross boys were. When he asked at fifteen you just turned bright red and ran. When he asked at your twenty-first birthday you were more than a little tipsy and laughed until rum and coke came out your nose and then ran off to tell your friends. That was the last time he asked.

09. Your boss: Shigezane - This would be so? Cool? Shigezane would be the most awesomesauce boss, laid back and chill but still supportive AF, and if you ever need to take a personal day it’s yours. No questions asked. 

10. A random person you meet at a bar: Kojuro - It was probably a wine bar, near the courthouse where all the bigshot lawyers and corporate types schmooze about. You’re there for a special networking event, and the man with his jacket tossed over the barstool behind him and his sleeves rolled just the perfect amount up shares a quip while you wait for your glass of pinot gris. Only later does it occur to you that your tab’s been taken care of, and though you visit again for the next few weeks you never see that steady smile again.

11. Your rival: Nobunaga - I mean this is kind of a given, right? I think Nobunaga is incapable of any existence where he’s NOT a rival of some sort. The man needs drama like he needs air. Last box of brownie mix on the shelf just before Thanksgiving? Throw down. That asshole in the Lambo at the red light beside you, revving his engine and eyeing you in your Volvo over the top of his aviators? Nobunaga.

12. Gave you your first kiss: Masamune - I feel like this had to be a dare. Or a game. The most awkward round of spin-the-bottle you played in someone’s basement, dark and fumbling and his lips tasted of 7-Up, a thousand degrees beneath yours with the heat of his embarrassment.

13. Drunk and singing karaoke with: Oichi - YES. YES. I need this like yesterday. We have ‘Telephone’ choreographed and everything and belt it out together, and she always manages to get the number of the same man whose lap she’s poured her drink into by the end of the song.

14. Played seven minutes in heaven with: Hideyoshi - Oh hells yes. I mean, have you read the epilogue where this basically already happened?! You’d tumble out when the time was up, flushed and panting and not remembering what goddamned century it was, and even his smug grin wouldn’t be enough to make you resent the way he haunts your wet dreams for the next three months.

15. Gave you your favorite dessert: Ieyasu - This is hard to see. Unless it’s bribe? It’s probably a bribe. It’s definitely probably a bribe.  And I’d be double checking to make sure it wasn’t poisoned.

This was a lot of ridiculous fun, thanks for the tag Mandakatt! If anyone else would like to do this, go for it - I’d specifically like to see @wonky-glass-ornament, @yoolee, @cavern-of-bells, @suzunesays, @han-pan, @frywen-babbles try it!

fandomhell97  asked:

Prompt 9 with Junkrat and fem reader? Cause I actually do work at a haunted factory scare place as an insane child in front of a static tv

wasn’t sure if you wanted it as reader worked there or Rat so hope this ok hun.
SFW - turned out NB reader sorry

You’re one of the actors at a haunted house and I accidentally punched you when you jumped out at me- can I buy you coffee or something to make up for it?

You sighed and turned the corner of the fake haunted house, you didn’t even flinch when you walked through cotton wool spider webs, a bemused look on your face as you looked at all the blood smeared walls with various GET OUTs and TURN BACK NOW’s

So your friends had all chipped in to pay for you to go in, they knew you were so into your horror but were convinced if it was you in any of the situations from your favourite movies it would be a whole other story, that you would loose your shit.

You ducked under a fake corpse which had been hung, just pushing the dangling legs out of your face, rolling your eyes as the door opened on it’s own. It moved too slow for you and you just pushed it open, not even blinking when a ‘zombie nurse’ lurched towards you, you side stepped and just hopped over remains of ‘victims’

Jamie grinned and looked at himself in the broken mirror in his room, head to toe red, a massive tail, wings on his back, his fake limbs were even fitting in looking like black coal added on with long claws, they had gone all out with his costume.

He grinned showing off his sharp fangs, poking them. He loved the massive black demons horns that stuck out of his mop of blonde hair.

He sighed and looked at his tatty shorts, he’d not been allowed to go for the loin cloth like he had wanted, would have showed too much of his legs off apparently, cowards, let him have some thigh out he thought to himself before he heard the creaks on the floor…

The tall fake demon hid behind one of the many fake fire props in the room. You once again pushed open the door, bored, you looked around the room, cliché horror sound tracks from the dollar store was playing the background.

There was manic cackle that split the room, it sent a shiver up your spine, it was ear splitting and so close, you turned and right behind you, towering over you was 6'4 of demon, piercing amber eyes, sharp jagged teeth..

You screamed and jerked forward with your hands balled into fists and socked the demon right in the gut before you took another swing. The 'creature’ yelped and sank to his knee with a hiss. You blinked when the red male held up his hand.

“Fu-fuck…..Oi! ya ain’t meant to touch us! it’s like a strip club, 'ands offa the merchandise!” The demon huffed and gave you such a look.

Your heart was beating so fast before it sank in, unlike all the things you had seen to this point, this male looked so convincing and you had lost your shit. Your face went bright red as you tried to held him up.

“Oh fuck fuck fuck I am so sorry… fuck… I was so bored with this crappy place that I thought nothing was going to scare me th…then you” you mumbled as he stood up holding his gut.

“Are ya sayin’ me face is tha’ scary? I am offended mate… first ya 'urt me then ya 'urt me feelin’s!” He sighed over dramatically as he kept his eyes on you.

“I am SO sorry… I mean… here” you pulled out a receipt from your pocket and wrote down your number. “I owe you like a coffee or seven.. give me a call on your next day off and I will make it up to you..okay? no harm done right?” you tried to grin at the demon.

“I will 'old ya to tha’ offer of seven…” he sniffed and tried to look down his nose at you as he stuffed the paper into his pants.

The silence was awkward but you both laughed it off. He grinned at you and walked you to the other side of the room. “Right, me mate is in there an’ 'e’s likely to knock ya flat if ya take a swing at 'im ok?” he cackled and all you could do was muse how his normal laugh was as scary as his performance one..


aeternumcontramundum-deactivate  asked:

Talk about your favorite angel. And enjoy the gin (I wish I had some lime-twist Seagram's but I won't get sidetracked... back to angels...)

This is pretty difficult, because if we’re talking about angels in fiction, they’re very rarely depicted in such a way that they’re both A) great characters and B) a thing actually resembling traditional angels rather than just superhumans. Neil Gaiman’s angels are almost always excellent, Ted Chiang’s “Hell is the Absence of God” has incredible angels (though they are not really characters), and the Ian Tregellis novel I just read, Something More than Night, has an extremely delightful narrator, a kind-of-fallen angel named Bayliss who has read too much Raymond Chandler (and who, for all of his human trappings, remains extremely alien, angelic, and even traditionally Thomistic). 

If we’re sticking to Canonical angels, then we’ve only got three to choose from. Gabriel is just boring, so he’s just right out. Michael is great because he results in tons of glorious works of art, and as a young Catholic kid in a family who decided one day that halloween was TEH EVILS he (and st. george) stilled allowed me to run around in a costume once a year. Raphael is great for a number of reasons, because the Book of Tobit is just a blast. I mean it’s a biblical road trip bromance story between a dude and his pal who turns out to be a wing-man in more senses than he expected. 

Most Catholic tradition agree that there are seven archangels, but only those three are named, and I am not nearly familiar enough with either Christian or Jewish mysticism/esoteric stuff to really have an opinion on the others. 

Except for one. Uriel. Who is, I guess, my favorite. 

Uriel enjoys a pseudo-canonical status above the other angels in non-Canonical tradition. Because Medieval people needed a fourth angel. Three is an awkward number (unless you are doing trinitarian stuff). Churches have four walls. Maps have four sides. If you are going to throw angels on stuff you need a fourth dude. So (for the most part) Uriel just kind of became the unofficial extra guy. He’s identified with the angel that guards the entrance to the garden of eden with a flaming sword– which not only makes him look badass whenever he shows up in art, but makes him a really interesting symbol/image/whatever. 

Gabriel essentially represents divine communication. You can use him to represent prophecy, virtues surrounding this kind of communication (like humility), the will of the divine in general, etc etc. 

Michael essentially represents power of goodness. You use him to show the absolute power of the good over evil, to show martial virtue, courage, etc. 

Raphael’s place is kind of fixated on one smaller part of Tobit, and he usually represents healing in some way. So, the healing power of grace, supplication, etc. 

Uriel is a liminal figure. He is that which exists between– not only as all angels do, as this strange thing between God and Man, and as this thing which is genderless, but in addition, beyond the typically liminality of angels, as this thing which stands on the threshold between paradise and our postlapsarian world. 

Which makes him (or her, or them) super amazing when used properly (read: Not Milton). 

Raphael, Gabriel, Azrael,
three of seven– what is War

 to Birth, to Change, to Death?
yet he, red-fire is one of seven fires,

judgement and will of God,
God’s very breath– Uriel.

H.D. Was one of the greatest poets of the twentieth century. You don’t hear her name much because of a campaign against her– she dared to be bisexual, to surpass men she knew like William Carlos Williams and Ezra Pound, etc, and so until fairly recently she’s not been taught as the great she is. Her magnum opus was a trilogy of three long poems set during and after the Blitz– The Walls Do Not Fall, Tribute to Angels, and The Flowering of the Rood

Uriel is one of the most important figures of the second poem (who is linked to the primary concerns of both bookends). He, as you see above, is the judgment and will of God, linked pretty solidly to the blitz itself, to the rampant destruction. But already in the first poem H.D. transformed the Blitz from something ugly and purely violent into something purgative, restorative, and beautiful. The image of the  buildings of London come to be our own souls, and by the Blitz they are once again freed, the limiting walls and ceilings of the material world are blasted open, letting us once again have a chance at transcendence. 

To Uriel, no shrine, no temple
where the red-death fell,

no image by the city-gate,
no torch to shine across the water,

no new fane in the market-place:
the lane is empty but the levelled wall

is purple as with purple spread
upon an altar,

this is the flowering of the rood,
this is the flowering of the reed,

where Uriel, we pause to give
thanks that we rise again from death and live

Uriel becomes linked the flowering of the rood, an image of the Blessed Virgin, which becomes, in the final poem, an image of Mary Magdalen, who seizes femininity and the souls of all traditionally “sinful” women, such as Eve, Lilith, etc, and transforms them into glorious jewels.

Uriel’s liminality is one of violence and destruction, but destruction of borders, of barriers, a destruction which spreads and brings the whole world onto the threshold of paradise. His/Her/Their liminality incorporates the liminality of the feminine, the liminality of the author, HD, as a woman who defies societal categorization in both her gender and sexuality. And it all becomes bound up in this image of the flaming sword on the borders of Eden. 

So yeah. Uriel, especially Uriel-as-written-by-Hilda-Doolittle, would have to be my fave. 

For Uriel, no temple
but everywhere,

the outer precincts and the squares
are fragrant; 

the festival opens as before
with the dove’s murmuring;

for Uriel, no temple
but Love’s sacred groves,

withered in Thebes and Tyre,
flower elsewhere.

anonymous asked:

Look at Rick Riodan's twitter! He said that Nico would have a POV in BoO! It was most certainly his twitter, and he didn't say it was a joke! :D :D :D

I did see that! (and the subsequent fandom explosion). I feel like I’m one of the only ones who isn’t totally thrilled? Don’t get me wrong, I really like Nico, and having his POV means we get to see more of Reyna, which are all super great things, but…

I’m a huge fan of consistency within writing and books coming full circle. To have Nico narrate in one book out of five seems really awkward and misplaced to me. I was really rooting for narration by just the seven again, but with more balanced numbers than in the last book (Only four Piper chapters? I was cheated. Cheated.). 

{SPOILERS FOR ALLEGIANT} It was like in the Divergent trilogy when the narration in the third book was suddenly included Tobias chapters. It just doesn’t work for me. If you’re doing a series on one way, stick with it. We’ve had narration from just the seven this whole time, and I’m not sure why that needs to change.

((But at the same time REYNA))