but i loved that she did say 'i won't accept this and i'm not going to be with you'

You will always be afraid. Afraid of her getting too close to you, afraid of her seeing the real you, afraid of disappointing her because you know the masterpiece you told her you’d paint, you never will. I hope that someday you can let somebody break down your walls and you don’t run away when they do.
You will always hold back the things you want to say the most. You will be afraid of the conversations that mean messy. But guess what? Messes can be picked up, friend. I hope that one day you learn to clean up the messes you make and you learn to fight for what you want, because she will sure as hell want you to fight for her when things are messy. I hope that you can talk to her about what’s really going on, so that she can fix it instead of staying up all night wondering why she isn’t good enough for you.
You will always use your body and mental health as an excuse to distance yourself from her. You might not mean to, but you do. But let me tell you something: one day, you will have to accept yourself. For one that talks up a storm about the importance of self love, why don’t you show yourself some? If she didn’t want to love you for who you are, she wouldn’t be with you. I hope that one day you can grow up and love yourself so much that it inspires you to love her forever, like she will imagine in her head.
You will always run away. But one day, when she comes along, you will know that she’s the one worth picking up the gun for. Tears ran down my face more than they should have when I realized that to you, I’m not worth the fight. But I’m worth someone else’s fight.
Someone else will pick up the gun and shoot every demon in our way to be able to be with me. Someone else won’t be afraid of something real.
My last hope for you is that when she does come along, something real, you won’t run away from her as fast as you can, like you did with me.
Being Renessmee's Twin Includes
  • Rosalie: I'm naming her Bella. I will not allow you to butcher and mesh two more names. Her name is Carlie. Deal with it.
  • Carlie: Why can't I fight with you and momma papa? I want to show the Volturi that I'm not a scared little girl. Anyone threatens to kill my family, I refuse to run away
  • Bella: Carlie, how many times have I told you? No throwing knifes in the house. You could hurt Renessmee or yourself. Be more careful.
  • Emmett: C'mon kiddo. I'll teach you how to fight.
  • Jasper: *scoffs* It'd be best if I teach her. You get frustrated too easily Emmett.
  • Carlise: Carlie, your growth is more rapid than Renessmee's. Your genes must be slightly different from hers. It could be an attribution to a power we haven't discovered yet.
  • Esme: It's so sweet of you to help me make dinner for you and Renessmee. I feel like you and I hardly get any time together. Renessmee's always off with either her parents or Jacob and you keep to yourself most of the time. Just know that I'm here if you ever want to talk to someone sweetie. You are my grandbaby afterall.
  • Edward: Your mother and I don't love Renessmee more than you Carlie. We love you both equally. She just relies on us more than you. You've always been more independent than your sister.
  • Carlie: I'm more independent because you and mom are always with her and Aunt Rose takes care of me. But whatever. I don't care anymore. She'll be stuck here in Forks and you all will have to leave eventually and I will travel the world once I reach an acceptable age growth.
  • Bella: Where have you been Carlie?! You've been gone for three whole days! What on earth are you wearing?!
  • Carlie: *sighs* Relax mom. I went to Comic Con in San Diego and cosplayed as Harley Quinn. I went to have some fun. Geez, it's like your trying to keep me trapped with you forever since Renessmee started solely hanging out with Jacob. I bet you really hate that imprint now cause you finally have to pay attention to your other daughter.
  • Alice: Carlie, come shopping with me. We never spend any girl time together since you started buying your own clothes.
  • Carlie: But there's a Gotham marathon on today. How about I go shopping with you tomorrow then?
  • Jasper: *watching the Romanian aired teach you how to fight and use weapons from a window in the house because Bella and Edward forbid him from teaching her himself* I don't see what the problem was with them Alice. I have no urge to drink wither of the girls blood and I adore Carlie. I should be teaching her how to fight, not those barbaric two.
  • Alice: I know Jas. But she finally made some friends that weren't a part of our family. Renessmee has Jacob and that's all she needs. Carlie is free to expand herself unbound to anyone. We don't want to smother the girl by crowding her all the time.
  • Rose: I can't believe Bella never told you about periods. Oh wait, I can. Look Carlie, you have nothing to fear. It's completely natural.
  • Jacob: Why do you hate me Carlie? I never did anything to you.
  • Carlie: *rolls eyes and scoffs* Exactly. I hardly even know you and you're the guy my sister is bound to for life. You've hardly ever acknowledged me before. You've hardly ever spokento me and you have no interest in anyone but my sister. I don't like you because I know that the imprint you have with my sister isn't how you really are or were before my mom even started screwing with your life.
  • Bella: How can you say such a thing Carlie?!
  • Carlie: Oh please. Shut up mom. You know I'm right. You only support that imprint because now, Jacob will forever be within your grasp. Just because you chose not to have him all those years ago doesn't mean you get to keep him around when he's moved on with his life.
  • Renessmee: Will you be my maid of honor?
  • Carlie: I haven't seen or heard from you in nearly four years sis. And frankly I don't want to go to your wedding at all. You know your marriage won't end well. You're in love with Nahuel and whether you admit it or not, you don't feel the same pull if the imprint like you used to. Stop dragging Jacob along. Stop your relationship with him and decide what you want. God, you are worse than our mother. Make up your freaking mind.
  • Leah: I didn't think it would be possible, but I am actually best friends with someone who shares half her DNA with Bella Cullen.
  • Carlie: Oh hush. I'm nothing like my mother and you know it. Now shut up so I can hear Tom Hiddleston say "mewling quim."
  • Seth: Are you sure about this Carlie?
  • Carlie: Yes, for the thousandth time. I love you and I refuse to be bound to someone I met only once. I fell in love with you and that is what I've always wanted. To fall in love, not be bound by fate to become whatever my mate pleases.
The sum of every song in Hamilton
  • Alexander Hamilton: it me, ya boy ham
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 1: hey Burr, we're both orphans and I'm really smart and I want to graduate college in 2.6 seconds like you
  • Aaron Burr, Sir pt. 2:
  • My shot:
  • The story of tonight: were about to go to war but we have freedom and it's going to be great
  • The Schuyler sisters:
  • ANGELICAAAA (work work) ELiZZA and leggy
  • Farmer refuted:
  • Our boy ham straight up flames our British pal Sammy boy
  • You'll be back: meanwhile
  • , King George III is in Britain and is lying to himself
  • Right hand man:
  • Burr: hey hi hello I exist
  • George washing-machine:
  • Alexandre: general washingmachine you called for me
  • Burr: -,-
  • George washingmachine: HAM YOU'RE HERE BE MY SECRETARY
  • Ham: what no thanks
  • Washingmachine: pls
  • Ham: ok fine
  • A winters ball:
  • The boys: WE ALL LIKE GIRLS
  • Laurens: ,:)
  • Helpless:
  • Ham: hey marry me
  • Eliza: :)ok:)
  • Satisfied:
  • *flashback*
  • Angelica: I like alexandre
  • Eliza: I like alexandre
  • Angelica: oh okay *throws herself out of the window*
  • The story of tonight *reprise*: our boys ham, laurens, Hercules mulligan and Lafayette are really drunk
  • Wait for it: Burr is in politics but has no political opinion and nobody exactly knows what he's waiting for
  • Stay Alive:
  • A ham: daaad commme ooooon let me fiight
  • George washingmachine: ehhhhhhh I don't knooow let's send in lee
  • Charles Lee: IM A GENERAL WHEEEE
  • George washingmachine: that was a mistake
  • Ten duel commandments: Lauren's wants to duel lee because he was being salty towards our favorite dad, George washing machine, and they do and Lee gets shot
  • Meet him inside
  • George washingmachine: wtf ham
  • Alexandre: lee started it
  • George washingmachine: son stop
  • A ham: I AM NOT YOUr SON
  • George washingmachine: go home
  • That would be enough:
  • Alex: Eliza I'm poor
  • Eliza: I know idc lol
  • Alex: :)
  • Guns and ships:
  • General washingmachine: hey alexandre pls come back
  • History has its eyes on you:
  • George washingmachine: hey son, if you make any mistakes everyone in the future will probably only focus on that
  • Yorktown:
  • The colonies: HEY WE WON THE WAR
  • What comes next:
  • King George III: haha good luck running a country lol see ya
  • Dear Theodosia:
  • Burr: I had a baby girl she's cute and her name is theodosia
  • Non-Stop:
  • Burr: Alexandre why can't you shut up
  • Alexandre: Kay I will
  • *later*
  • Alexandre: look I wrote 51 essays in 2 seconds to defend the US constitution
  • Burr: WHAT
  • What'd I miss:
  • Thomas Jefferson: hey I'm back from France
  • Hamilton: who r u
  • Cabinet battle #1:
  • Thomas Jefferson: your financial plan is dumb
  • Ham: ur dumb I don't agree
  • Washingmachine: Alexandre calm down
  • Thomas Jefferson & James
  • Madison: no1 likes you
  • Washingmachine: they right you need to calm down
  • Take a break:
  • Eliza & Angelica: stop writing for once and leave with us to go somewhere
  • Ham: no
  • Eliza &angelica: wow fuk u 2 then
  • Say no to this:
  • Mariah Reynolds: my husbands abusive please have an affair w/ me
  • Everyone: NO DONT DO IT
  • Ham: I guess I have no choice okay I will
  • *later*
  • James Reynolds: ur having an affair with my wife give me money
  • Ham: k here u go
  • The room where it happens:
  • Ham: I'm having a meeting with James and Thomas
  • Burr: wat
  • Ham: we're deciding where the capital is
  • Burr: hey I wanna go
  • Ham: no
  • Schuyler defeated: burr is now senator instead of hamiltons father in law and ham is salty abt it
  • Cabinet battle #2:
  • Jefferson: lets help France with their war
  • Ham: wat no not another war
  • Washingmachine: he's right
  • Thomas: wtf of course you take his side
  • Washington on your side:
  • Jefferson: I don't like Alexandre
  • Madison: he wouldn't be so high up w/ out Washington
  • Jefferson: lets ruin his career
  • One last time:
  • Washingmachine: oops I'm not president anymore
  • Alexandre: dad no
  • Washingmachine: byyyyye
  • I know him:
  • King George III: what john Adams is the president now lol good luck
  • The Adams administration:
  • We know:
  • Madison, burr &Jefferson: you took government funds ur career is over
  • Ham: lol no I just cheated on my wife
  • Hurricane:
  • Ham: I've fought everyone, except for myself
  • Ham: I guess I'll change that
  • The Reynolds pamphlet:
  • Alexandre: Time to publish the details of my affair before anyone else for some reason and ruin my marriage
  • Everyone: wtf
  • Burn:
  • Eliza: hey wtf Alexandre ur the worst
  • Blow us all the way:
  • Philip: I'm really smart and I just graduated
  • Philip: hey wait George Eacker just said somthin mean abt my dad alexandre
  • Philip: hey Eacker lets duel
  • George: what okay
  • *later*
  • Philip: *aims gun at sky hoping that Eacker won't shoot and no one will die*
  • Hey this looks the the perfect opportunity to not shoot
  • Eacker: how bout I do AnYWAy
  • Stay alive:
  • Philip: oh no I'm dying
  • Alexandre: no pls
  • Eliza: WAIT WHAT
  • Philip: mom I'm dying
  • Eliza: wat no
  • Philip: oops I did
  • It's quite uptown:
  • Alexandre: hey our son is dead and I'm sorry
  • Eliza: I accept your apology
  • Eliza&ham: ;-;
  • The election of 1800:
  • Madison: hey burr is probably going to win the election
  • Jefferson: what no
  • Madison: if Alexandre likes you over burr you could win
  • Burr: wow everyone likes me
  • *later*
  • It's a tie
  • Everyone: Alexandre
  • Everyone: Jefferson or Burr
  • Ham: Jefferson
  • Burr: what
  • Oh look Jefferson is president now
  • Your obedient servant:
  • Burr: ham you cause all my problems
  • Ham: that sounds like a YOU problem
  • Burr: duel me
  • Ham: k
  • Best of wives, best of women:
  • Eliza: y r u up
  • Ham: I have a meeting
  • Eliza: Kay
  • Eliza: u better not be having an affair
  • The world was wide enough:
  • Burr: oops I killed ham I didn't mean too
  • Who lives, who dies who tells, who tells your story:
  • Everyone: :( Alexandre died
  • Eliza: I'm going to tell his story :)

anonymous asked:

I'm a sucker for angst,so if possible, can you do a scenario in which Undertaker and his s/o are having a serious fight? And his s/o is completely right but he just won't accept he's wrong until he sees how hurt she is

*rises up out of my coffin* DID SOMEONE SAY ANGST

The inside of London’s most recognizable mortuary is typically quiet during the night. (Y/N) and the Undertaker don’t have many problems with their neighbors, that’s for sure. The happy couple is usually content to curl up in a coffin and sleep the night away.

Tonight is not a typical night. Tonight, the windows rattle with the sounds of an intense lovers’ quarrel.

“I can’t believe you did that, Adrian! I mean, how could you?!” The lady isn’t actively pacing the floors, but she looks no less agitated for it. Her fingers drum on the nearest table and her weight shifts from one foot to the other. Her lover is not like everyone else, certainly… she thought he was just eccentric. She never dreamed he’d do something so reckless. It seems he really is mad as a hatter. “Do you realize how many people died aboard the Campania?! Just so you could – could – what the hell were you even trying to accomplish, anyway?!”

While Undertaker is clearly upset in his own right, he’s not as visibly worked up as his darling. Why should he be? He wanted to do his little experiment, he did it, and it’s not as big of a deal as he’s making it out to be. How long has she been alive, in comparison to him? She’s got no right to lecture him like this. “I told y’ already, I wanted ta see what would ‘appen! ‘N’ what do y’ care about all those people, ‘uh? Y’ didn’t know any of ‘em! They weren’t yer friends er family!”

“They were someone’s friends and family!” she hisses back at him. “What do you think, that doesn’t count for anything?! Do you really think I can only be upset if I knew them?!”

His nails dig into the other table, marring its surface with long gashes. “Y’re bein’ ridiculous! If y’ didn’t like what I ‘ad planned, then ‘ow come y’ didn’t say somethin’ about it?!”

The rage seems to be rising inside her chest as her heels scrape against the floor. Why is he like this? Why is he so damn stubborn and can’t admit that he’s done something stupid? “Maybe because I didn’t think you were actually going to do it! Who in their right mind does something like that, Adrian?! Just because you wanted to see what would happen?! I could have told you what would happen! Any sane person could have told you what would happen if you let loose a horde of soulless, ravenous beasts onto a ship full of people!”

That’s enough!” Instead of slipping off the table, his fist suddenly slams down onto it. What right does she have to criticize him? Hasn’t she said before that his curiosity is one of the things she loves about him? Why is it a problem now, just because the outcome was unfortunate? “It was an experiment! I can’t predict the future! ‘N’ it’s not like it affects y’ anyway! Ain’t that right? Y’ don’t even know any of their names! Why can’t y’ jus’ say y’ fergive me ‘n’ we can move on?!”

Her escalation takes things a step further by knocking several glasses and jars off the table she’s been standing near. They shatter against the ground, splinters of glass and pottery scattering in every direction at the couple’s feet. “BECAUSE MAYBE I CAN’T FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!

The air freezes, and through his bangs, (Y/N) can see his glimmering chartreuse eyes widen in shock. Everything is silent for a moment as Undertaker just stares at her, then his body goes limp. Any trace of anger is gone, and he leans on the table as if he’s gotten very tired very quickly. “… Love… no… that’s – that’s not what I want… I’m… I’m sorry, I…”

But he doesn’t know what else to say, and nothing (Y/N) says now can hurt him more than what she’s already said.

Garrett Inquisition Banters - Dorian
  • Dorian: The Champion of Kirkwall, is it? A pleasure to finally make your acquaintance
  • Garrett: I wouldn't have thought anyone who could have had a seat in the Magesterium would much care to know about the south
  • Dorian: You know of the Magesterium? Truly? Most in the South think ever mage in Tevinter is a Magister
  • Garrett: Don't take it as a compliment. My husband was a slave to one of your magisters
  • ---
  • Dorian: So you married a slave?
  • Garrett: /Former/ slave. He belongs to no one
  • Dorian: Ooh, touchy
  • ---
  • Dorian: Have I offended you?
  • Garrett: What makes you think I'm offended?
  • Dorian: Well in Varric's book he writes you as an understanding paragon of goodness, and yet whenever I'm within ten feet you start scowling
  • Garrett: I... didn't realise. I apologise
  • Dorian: Oh no need. In fact, it makes you one of the friendliest southerners I've met so far!
  • ---
  • Dorian: So-
  • Garrett: Not now
  • Dorian: I haven't even said anything
  • Garrett: I'm not up for talking at the moment. Please, just not now
  • Varric: Leave him alone, Sparkler. Everyone has their days
  • ---
  • Garrett: So you actually read Varric's books then?
  • Dorian: Not all of them. I tried reading that romance, Swords and Shields, per Cassandra's recommendation. I felt my IQ drop after the first sentence
  • Garrett: The Seeker recommended it? Varric will have a field day with that
  • Dorian: Well would you look at that? A smile! I feel blessed
  • Garrett: *sighs* And now you've ruined it
  • ---
  • Dorian: So... you're interested in men, are you?
  • Garrett: And married
  • Dorian: Well I noticed /that/. You and Fenris can barely keep your hands off of each other. I was just wondering...
  • Garrett: What?
  • Dorian: Never mind. Let's go back to you scowling at me whenever I walked into the room, that was much more comfortable
  • ---
  • (After Dorian's personal quest)
  • Garrett: The other day, when you brought up my preference for men, were you going to ask about my father when he found out?
  • Dorian: Ah, I've been had, have I?
  • Garrett: It would seem so. Do you still want to know?
  • Dorian: So long as it doesn't end with 'and then he decided to try a blood ritual to make me acceptable'
  • Garrett: Nothing like that. I was about seventeen when I realised, nineteen when I finally told him. It wasn't easy. I was terrified actually
  • Dorian: You were scared he wouldn't approve. I understand. What did he do, when you told him?
  • Garrett: He and my mother sat there and they listened. And when it was done, they just hugged me, told me they loved me, and that was it
  • Dorian: I see. You were lucky to have parents so ready to accept you as you were
  • Garrett: I was. And maybe you might be too, if your father's serious about making amends
  • Dorian: Maybe. I'd like to think he is
  • ---
  • Dorian: So your brother is a Grey Warden?
  • Garrett: He is. My fault, I'm afraid
  • Dorian: How so? I take it you didn't make him do it on a dare?
  • Garrett: I let him have his way. I let him go on that damned Deep Roads Expedition because he'd have thrown a fit over it otherwise
  • Dorian: He caught the Blight, I take it?
  • Garrett: Yes. And if not for Anders knowing where to find Grey Wardens, he would have died
  • Dorian: That hardly makes it your fault. Sounds more like rotten luck to me
  • Garrett: If I'd just made him stay at home-
  • Dorian: He'd have thrown a fit and done something equally stupid to spite you, I'm sure
  • Carver: I'm standing right here you know
  • Dorian: Oh I'm well aware
  • ---
  • Dorian: You know I always thought that Varric made that up
  • Garrett: *groans* Dare I even ask...
  • Dorian: You'd really never kissed anyone before Fenris? And he was your first time too? My, how romantic
  • Garrett: I am going to kill Varric...
  • Dorian: And here I thought we were past the 'you scowling at my mere presence' stage
  • ---
  • Garrett: So, you and Farier?
  • Dorian: Ah, you are curious? Well, I do love talking about me, so there's no harm in indulging you
  • Garrett: *chuckles* How on earth does he put up with you?
  • Farier: Well see, he does this thing with his tongue where he-
  • Dorian: Amatus!
  • Farier: *smugly* What? You use your tongue to talk, don't you?
  • Dorian: Oh, you little-!
  • Garrett: *laughs*
  • ---
  • Dorian: So... open to a friendly wager, Garrett?
  • Garrett: Hardly. The last time I wagered anything, it involved Isabela winning my clothes at cards and me running home with a bucket to cover my privates
  • Dorian: *laughs* Quite the image! Now that's a story I have to hear
  • Varric: I'll tell you all about it back at camp, Sparkler
  • Marian: You can see it first hand if you get him drunk enough
  • Dorian: And now I have my next endeavour all planned out
  • Garrett: Maker, no. Just no
  • ---
  • Garrett: So, out of curiosity, what did you want to wager on?
  • Dorian: Interested are we?
  • Garrett: Hardly, just curious as to what you were going to propose
  • Dorian: Well it's not fun if we don't wager. Varric put in for ten royals already on the odds of three-to-one
  • Garrett: In favour of what?
  • Dorian: I'm only telling those who are betting
  • ---
  • Garrett: Fine, just tell me what we're betting on
  • Dorian: Aha! Knew your curiosity would win out. We're betting on our dear Inquisitor's chances for success
  • Garrett: You're... betting on whether or not she'll die? That's rather morbid
  • Dorian: Not dying per say, though I suppose that will be the outcome if Corypheus isn't stopped. So, your wager?
  • Garrett: Not my trousers, that's for damn sure
  • Dorian: *laughs* Blast, and to think I could have owned the trousers of the Champion of Kirkwall!
  • Sera: I could pants him for you!
  • Garrett: Don't even think about it
  • Sera: *cackles* Too late!
  • Garrett: She's joking... Right?
  • Dorian: My dear Garrett, I'd watch myself from now on if I were you
  • ---
  • Dorian: So I sated your curiosity on our bet, now sate mine. Why /were/ you always scowling at me?
  • Garrett: I didn't even realise I was doing it before you pointed it out
  • Dorian: Nonsense, there must have been a reason. I /did/ hear you duelled Danarius and had a part in his death
  • Garrett: True. And I still have the scars to prove it
  • Dorian: So is it because I was nearly a magister? I take it that it's not because I'm from Tevinter, considering your choice in marital partner
  • Garrett: I... I don't know
  • Dorian: Ah, perhaps you feared I would harm Fenris in some way? I imagine he paints quite a picture of the Imperium
  • Garrett: Just... stop. I don't want to talk about this anymore
  • Dorian: Very well. Shall we talk about me instead? I do love that topic
  • ---
  • Dorian: Are they always that loud?
  • Garrett: Try sleeping next door to them. I think they do it on purpose
  • Dorian: Have you ever tried-?
  • Garrett: Yes, and it doesn't work. Trust me
  • Dorian: You must have gotten back at them somehow. I doubt Fenris would let it go
  • Garrett: *smugly* Well we did book them for the Bad Girl Special at the Blooming Rose once
  • Dorian: What-?
  • Marian: I still hate you for that
  • Garrett: I know. And it was worth it
  • ---
  • Dorian: You... really remember nothing?
  • Garrett: Not really. Only what I've been told since waking up
  • Dorian: Hm. When the Nightmare stole Lyris' memories, it only took her memories of the Conclave... Perhaps it was your extended contact with the demon that did it
  • Garrett: Do you think it will come back?
  • Dorian: I don't know. But if there is a chance, I am happy to help however I can
  • Garrett: Thank you Dorian
  • Dorian: Hmph, of course it took a memory wipe for you to say that to me
  • ---
  • Dorian: Lothering?
  • Garrett: Darkspawn
  • Dorian: Cheery. Kirkwall?
  • Garrett: Home
  • Dorian: Fenris?
  • Garrett: Husband
  • Dorian: Are you saying that because you know it, or because you feel it?
  • Garrett: ...both
  • Dorian: Hm... Ah. Dorian?
  • Garrett: *smugly* Scowling
  • Dorian: Aha, you /are/ starting to remember properly now, aren't you?
  • ---
  • Garrett: Thank you Dorian
  • Dorian: Well, I won't be one to refuse thanks but I usually like to know what I'm being thanked for
  • Garrett: For helping me remember. I was a bit of an arse to you in the beginning, wasn't I?
  • Dorian: Well you didn't spit when we met. It's more than I can say for the blacksmith
  • Garrett: *sighs* And there goes the moment...
  • ---
  • Garrett: So, Dorian...
  • Dorian: Ah, are we back to scowling now I am to be a true Magister? Don't worry, I won't hold it against you. I've even been practicing my maniacal laugh
  • Garrett: I just wanted to offer my sympathies for your father's death. I know how hard it is to lose a parent
  • Dorian: *sympathetically* Or two, in your case. I appreciate the sentiment, though I'd rather not speak at length about it
  • Garrett: Of course. Have you at least had your grapes peeled for you since being back in Tevinter?
  • Dorian: *laughs* No, but it is at the top of my list when I take my seat in the Magesterium. Along with trying to drag the Imperium back out of the muck, though that's a slightly more long term goal I'm afraid
  • Garrett: I'd heard a few rumours about that. You really think you can do it?
  • Dorian: Maybe, maybe not. But if I don't try, who will?
  • Garrett: True enough. If you ever need anything...
  • Dorian: Oh perish the thought. I believe you've been through enough, my friend. Only fate would be unkind enough to saddle you with yet more trouble after all of this

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, but I'm wondering if you could explain how you see Orochimaru's characterization, or tell where to find the document that won't work on ff net? I would message you like it says on your profile, but I don't have an account unfortunately, but I'd like to write one day and I want to understand Orochimaru better and see how other authors see him. Sorry again if I bothered you!

No worries! I’ve been meaning to get it up on here anyway, so have at it! 

Ramble time! A couple of people have commented (negatively) on my characterization of Orochimaru, as I tend to write him more sympathetic than most, so I wanted to get something out there that reflected how I see everyone’s favorite snake bastard. He’s fascinating, from what few half-seen glimpses we have of his past. So you have this little boy obsessed with seeing his parents again, who half the shinobi in the village see as some sort of “incarnation of evil” to paraphrase big-scary-mofo Ibiki, who admits to trembling in his boots whenever Orochimaru walked past him. They don’t hide it, either, that they’re terrified of/horrified by/repulsed by this kid/shinobi/weapon. And at the same time you’ve got a prodigy, someone so ridiculously good at killing things that it makes his own teacher wary of him, and also ridiculously good at breaking people down into their component parts, either scientifically or psychologically. But it’s fine, because this killer/prodigy/lost little boy has a team, and through that team he’s got at least some connection to humanity. Through Tsunade, mostly, because she has Nawaki and then Dan, and that’s good. Orochimaru knows them, accepts them, lets himself care for them.

Except it’s not good at all, because Nawaki dies on a mission under Orochimaru’s command, and that’s the first crack in the foundation. Then they go out and fight Hanzō to a standstill, become The Legendary Three, and afterwards Jiraiya just up and…leaves. He chooses to stay with three orphans in the middle of nowhere over returning home with his team, and that’s the beginning, that’s the second crack. No more Three, just Jiraiya in Ame and Tsunade and Orochimaru in Konoha. And it only gets worse when Dan dies, because even if Tsunade loved him Orochimaru liked him too, and he’s obsessed with death already, but now cheating it completely becomes the goal. No more loss. Crack number three.

And of course there’s only one place for things to go from there, and that’s downhill. Tsunade leaves the village, doesn’t even look back, and suddenly instead of having a team and a friend and a buffer from the rest of the village, Orochimaru is entirely alone, just like he was after his parents died. That’s the fourth crack, but Orochimaru moves on. He gets a student, a place in the village, picks up a stray orphan with a talent for blending in. He takes missions and does well, is the kind of genius born once a generation, and eventually Jiraiya wanders back into the village and he can be…content with that.

But there’s a problem, because Jiraiya—Jiraiya who abandoned him, who was the first of his team to leave him—Jiraiya has this student. He’s brilliant. He’s a genius even among other geniuses, but he’s different. People like him. Namikaze Minato has charm and charisma and friends and people who love him, everything Orochimaru has never been able to get. Orochimaru is almost forty, he’s been a shinobi for all but six of those years, and he’s been working for decades to become powerful enough to be a candidate for Hokage. And then Sarutobi—his teacher—dismisses Orochimaru as a possible candidate and picks this bright, cheerful, twenty-year-old genius instead.

One last crack and the whole structure comes tumbling down.

That’s not even glancing at what happens later, but I like to think that even that much history can be a good gauge as to Orochimaru’s mental status—mainly, a slightly traumatized, somewhat sociopathic, completely obsessive, socially inept genius with abandonment issues and enough neuroses to stock an asylum. Just—yeah, I think he did evil things. Yeah, I think he’s definitely a bastard to whom morality is completely foreign subject, but he did grow up in a culture of child killers while fixating on the possibility of escaping the death-rebirth cycle to the exclusion of everything else, and for me at least it’s hard to hate him. He’s too complex for something like that, and with his recent Heel-Face Turn—for Sasuke—he’s moved from ‘villain’ to ‘anti-villain’ at the very least. And to somewhat more psychologically steady ground, which is always a plus. o/

Hetalia characters as things I've said whist texting my friends
  • America: how many times will I knock over this lamp before I decide to move the stupid thing?
  • Canada: mom said I can't make pancakes at three in the morning anymore. Challenge accepted.
  • England: this tea smells so good I'm afraid to drink it and lose it forever.
  • France: If I have fictional husbands and an irl boyfriend... Is that bad?
  • China: if I can't have the dang plush cat why did I even go to the store????
  • Russia: why do I get a new set of friends every year? Can people really only put up with me for a year at a time??
  • Japan: I want hot guys waiting on me hand and foot but I also hate people so...
  • Italy: being cute is nice and all, but I really with people would take me seriously. Like God forbid I need to rob a bank sometime! He clerk will just pay me on the head and tell me to go play outside.
  • Germany: my whole life is a cycle of déjà vu and stress-baking and I'm surprisingly okay with it.
  • Romano: I get angry a lot, but I'm usually only really angry for a split second, but throwing hissy fits is surprisingly gratifying so I continue on for a while.
  • Spain: sometimes I'll eat nothing but pop tarts for like 3 days straight and I'll feel fine. Am I even human?
  • Prussia: have you ever had so much free time you taught yourself another language out of boredom?
  • Austria: I feel guilty when I see my violin case just sitting there, waiting for me.
  • Hungary: anything can be a weapon if you're angry enough!!!
  • Switzerland: I made a blanket fort. It has Christmas lights and ritz crackers. Here I can pretend all those fuckboys don't exist.
  • Lichtenstein: I'm perfectly capable of doing everyday tasks, but if they know that I'll have to work and I'm way to pretty for that.
  • Poland: I finally cleaned my room and found all the shit I lost. I'm drowning in accessories. Tell my cat I love her.
  • Lithuania: so I was like "I'm sorry but your name rhymes with the name of that bitch from middle school who ruined my life so we can't be friends."
  • Estonia: am I the disposable friend??? If so, please recycle me, and save the environment.
  • Latvia: i used up all my birthday money on platform boots. Maybe this year people won't think I'm 12.
  • Greece: Lilly pissed all over the rug by the front door again, so I'm hiding her in my closet until mom calms down. Sometimes I wonder if she just hates rugs.
  • Turkey: I saw my neighbor at the dance last week and she didn't even say hi to me! Half her damn wardrobe used to belong to me and what thanks do I get???
  • Norway: I spent 20$ on candles yesterday and now I have no food.
  • Iceland: I just want a cool pet, like a boa constrictor or a flightless bird of some kind. Something that says "I'm weird and don't want to talk to you."
  • Finland: It's not that I WANT to get in a fight per day, but if the situation called for it I'd cut a bitch.
  • Sweden: am I a bad friend for ignoring texts half the time? Like, I just don't like socializing.
  • Denmark: my hair took an hour and a half and I managed to pull a muscle in my arm in the process. Like my damn selfie or I'll scream.
  • Belarus: people exist, and I have a problem with that.
  • Ukraine: ...I just figured out why my bf likes that red top so much. Can I borrow your pocket knife?
Erased - (Part 1/3)

Joining the bandwagon of fic around Regina’s comment about Robin needing to forget her to save Marian. 

This is the first part of three (maybe 4). 

Robin takes the potion to forget ever knowing Regina. 


Regina took a deep breath, and with shaky hands added the last ingredient to the potion. It swirled and shimmered a deep blue.

She stepped away from the bench and tried to take steadying breaths.

This was it.

The potion was complete. Robin was due to arrive any minute and then… It would all be over.

‘Regina.’ His rich voice spoke softly.

Regina spun around to face him. Suddenly blinking back tears. This was one of the last moments she would have with him whilst he still remembered. Very soon everything they’d had would be lost.

'The potion just needs a few more minutes to settle, and then it will be ready.’

He swallowed thickly. He wasn’t for a second taking his eyes off her. Off the woman he loved. Because he was all too aware that shortly he wouldn’t remember loving her at all.

'Are you sure… Are you sure there is no other way?’ He asked.

'I’ve looked at every avenue.’ Regina said. 'If you want your wife back, this is the only way.’

Recklessly Robin closed the space between them significantly.

'I don’t want to forget you.’ He said.


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I've been dealing with depression lately and I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to my parents about it but they shrug it off saying its normal because I'm a teenager and I'm stressed. But I'm constantly struggling within myself and I don't know why. I feel like no one will listen. I've been struggling with self harm recently and I hate it because I know it won't fix anything but it's the only thing that makes me feel something. I just don't know what to do.


Nony… I want you to understand something very, very important: You’re not alone, and hurting yourself is never the solution.

I know you are screaming for something to remind you what it’s like to be a person, to feel worth something, to be noticed, even if it’s by your own body, because you’re harming it, but you have to breath through the pain of being so agonizingly distant, and remember that you have people who are there for you. If it’s me, fine, but don’t close off, don’t shut down, and never, ever step across that threshold again. You’re better than the pain in your soul, and your greater than the void left in the wake of your sorrow.

Your parents are right to a very limited extent, you are a teenager, and your current years are in fact the shittiest you’ll ever endure… It gets better. That said, your feelings are not “normal” they’re perfectly acceptable, and you’re not alone in them, but they’re certainly not something to be brushed off, much less berated or ignored. You’re a font of brilliance of some kind, and if you can just harness that thing you love, that think you do well, that thing that allows you to channel that pain, that hate, that anger, that sorrow, that whatever may be, you’ll find that your soul will sing for the moments you do that thing. For me it’s art… drawing, writing, acting, singing, dancing… In those things, the only things I’ve ever been good at, I am a god. I am free. I am the master of my own fate, life, and mind, and I can’t be stopped. Find that thing for yourself. Find it, hold it close, and never, ever let it go.

I was told at around your age, by my guidance counselor, wonderful waste of tissue and breath that she was, that I would never graduate high-school, never go to college, and never amount to anything, because I failed algebra 1 twice, and had a D in chemistry… my GPA was a 1.8 at that point. I was undiagnosed ADD inattentive, Clinically depressed, and in dire need of counseling and anger management… I had already started cutting, was stealing like it was my job, lying on the regular to make my life seem better, because I hated everything that I was, and everything I knew, and the only thing I had going for me was that the douche-bags who might have picked on me to my pudgy, pimpled face were well aware of the fact that I could hurt them. Badly. I was hate and rage incarnate… That guy who got in one, maybe two fights in his whole adolescent life, left unscathed, and never had to fight again because of the other guys? Yeah. Me. (Let that be a lesson, don’t pick on the kid who is perpetually about to snap. You’ll throw a punch, (s)he’ll throw the accumulated force of years holding everything back.)

Cut forward 6 months: Dianne Appolito, the most amazing woman I’d ever known prior to my stepmother, and Sarah, became my therapist. She cut through years of neglect, loss, self-loathing, emotional abuse, fear, trust issues, and a myriad of the other fine issues that made up my brain-fuck cocktail, and had me tested, and ultimately diagnosed for the brain type I have (because ADD is not a disorder, it’s a different type of brain). I got medicated, I got therapy, I got happier, I got better, I got the first and only perfect score on a portion the TAKS test my junior year. I moved schools, I found other talents, I excelled in all that I did. I got focused, I got driven, I got back.

9 years, and a shit-ton more life later: 
I’ve been on national television for 3 seasons of a series on a network that doesn’t really put people of my demographic in roles like I had. I’ve been to 3 separate continents. I’ve met some of the most amazing, talented, brilliant people on the planet. I’ve had a drink with Sir Ian, I’ve shot the shit with Emmy Rossum, I’ve hung out with Tia Mowry, and I’ve been given a pep talk by Brandy. I’ve trained in 10 different forms of armed combat. I’ve had the esteemed honor to have been able to audition for, now, over 3,000 professional productions, and be a member of the Actor division of SAG-AFTRA. I’ve lost the ability to walk unassisted, been told I’d never fight, lift weights, or move like I had again, and stood with sword, and shield in hand a year later in defiance. I’ve stood face to face with the very darkest sides of myself, fallen so low, I never thought I’d recover, and have somehow arrived a better man… Not a perfect one, some days I question if a good one, but certainly a better one.

Never. Not ever is there a point when giving in to the desire to harm, destroy, or end yourself is the best, or even an acceptable option. Be greater. Be more. Be the soul you were meant to be, not the hole you’ve been forced to be.

Stand firm. We are the stuff of legend. Stardust is our progenitor, and we will do those fiery globes proud in our exploits, and explode the ether with our furious love of the world around us. Give wholly into the things you love, and your legacy will be greatness, even if your mind says you’re less.

When you’ve spent years thinking you’re nothing, it’s incredibly hard to find something to believe in. When you find it, my god, please, please cling to it. For me, as I said, it was my art. For you? I don’t know… Math, physics, programming, chemistry, cooking, baking, mixing drinks, philosophy, anthropology? There are so many varied things, and so many facets of each that you have the opportunity to dive into wholly…

Live. Fight. Love. Create. You owe this to yourself. You owe it to the boy or girl who will one day ask you how you made it through, just as I owe it to you.

“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Last Reply 1988 Thoughts

I don’t think I’ll get over Reply 1988′s ending until I get super drunk and have the biggest hangover the next day and reflect on how stupid I was being.

My heart is still broken and it’s so ridiculous because it’s a tv show you know. It’s not real. It’s supposed to allow us to escape real life for a second and accompany characters as they grow up into becoming adults, not make us sob into a glass of whiskey. But guess what? It was so good that we really got attached to them and started rooting for their happiness and feeling their sadness. The show eventually took over my actual real life, and I would turn down the occasion to go out with friends because I need to see what Bora is up to, or what Jung Bong’s interest this week is.

The show gave me Jung Hwan, to whom I related so much in an almost scary way. Tough on the outside but really just full of love for everybody around him. He loved this girl who made his life brighter ever since he was a kid. He loved her before knowing what love was. They’d always bicker and he always acted proud around her because that’s who he was. Expressing his feelings wasn’t his strong suit. He was more into big gestures rather than words. But words were what did it for her. And so we accompany Jung Hwan in his transition to adulthood, with his awkward first love, heartbreaks, moments of friendship, and love for his family. We love him and root for him. But he doesn’t even get any closure at all. What the hell?

And our lovely Deok Sun, who made us look forward to Fridays and Saturdays, who can’t dance for shit but makes your heart burst with love every weekend, when you didn’t even understand what she’s saying because you don’t speak Korean. But you still tune in, and read recaps and root for her. Deok Sun, who made you livewatch the show at odd hours, 6AM, 10AM, who cares? Deok Sun, with her lovely smile and big heart is on. Then they take this girl away from us. They turn her into a prop in a poorly written ‘romance’ they threw at the viewers at the very last minute without showing us how her feelings grew when we SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH HER. They don’t explain her motives, her dreams. Then you realize the show was never about her. They just tricked us into believing it was. Then they start saying it’s a “family drama”, and it’s like ??? WE KNOW THAT?? But does that mean you get to throw the girl you advertised as the main lead in the trash? I’ve never felt this cheated, not even with the How I Met Your Mother ending. Just. Why?

I’m not even gonna mention Dong Ryong, pfft what a waste of character. Taek, oh Taek. What do I even say here? We never got to see him grow into an adult. Idk. Of course, he did “all the right things, at the right time”, but since when does that even matter? The writers never once looked at Deok Sun as an actual person who can ‘choose’ the person she wants to be with. It was always assumed that Deok Sun would just ‘accept’ whoever confesses, and sadly that’s just what happened. And let’s not talk about ‘adult’ Taek (lmfao Kim Joo Hyuk was not playing Taek, and it was such a big mess that they didn’t even address it).

I’m still bitter as ever, and my ask is open as always for your convenience if you want to call me a child or something.

It’s just. You know, Jung Hwan got labeled as this guy whose pride got the best of him (I read this in many posts don’t @ me). That’s just rubbish. Sure, he didn’t confess when he had the chance but he was not being “a macho” dude. He was being a teenager who bickers with his female friend because he’s acutely aware of everything she does. What is wrong with you? Have you ever been in love with someone who knows you so well that if they were to reject you, your whole world would crumble? Jung Hwan was careful not prideful, and I understood him for a while until I no longer could. The guy never got over her, never got closure, never confessed, NADA. That’s just? WHAT ABOUT US, PEOPLE WHO CAN’T PUT THEIR FEELINGS INTO WORDS? WHAT ABOUT US WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED? What’s the show’s message to us? lol. The writer basically said we were doomed to be alone and lonely for the rest of our lives. lol. ok thanks.

Anyways please don’t pay attention to me. I’m so?

This will be my last reply 1988 post. xoxo

I won’t be tuning in for the next one, because I hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE, the ‘We’ll write this as we go” thing. Why can’t you pre-produce? They’ve been preparing for the show for SO LONG. Why do they have to take a break in writing if it’s not to ‘tailor to viewers’ or to ‘adjust to leaked spoilers’. The writer also obviously turned viewers into a joke, completely disregarding our feelings. No thanks. I was your biggest fan *sigh*. Thank you for the laughs and the tears. You filled the void in my heart for a while but then inflicted a new one. I don’t think I’ll forgive you for that any time soon.

Gratsu Christmas: 13th of December Prompt: Hot Cocoa
"Alright everyone, drink up! It's cold outside," Lucy smiled, setting down a tray of mugs on the small round table in the kitchen of her apartment. 
A chorus of thanks met her ears from the rest of Team Natsu. The titular Natsu immediately gulped down about half of the hot cocoa, knowing neither the pain of a searing throat (as he did breathe fire on a regular basis) nor the concept of restraint. Wendy sipped her own mug, watching Natsu with mild alarm, but when she looked at Erza, hoping that she would tell the Fire Dragon Slayer to slow down, she found Titania licking her smiling lips, setting down an empty cup.
"How are they not scalded..." the Sky Maiden murmured.
"You come to stop questioning the things they do after a while," Lucy shrugged, sitting down between Wendy and the fifth person at the table, who she noticed had not so much as touched his cup of cocoa. "What's wrong Gray? Don't like hot cocoa?" she asked, frowning slightly.
Gray had been glaring at the cup before him intently, and started when Lucy addressed him, looking up to find the other four wizards in the room staring at him. "What? No, I- uh, was just waiting for it to cool," he quickly grinned, picking up the mug. "Cheers," Gray continued, gesturing the mug at his friends, before taking a sip. A very small sip.
"Delicious," Gray smiled, a very pained smile, as though he had just drank Elfman's sweat. Lucy rolled her eyes, before taking the cup away from him.
"If you don't like it, just say so..." she muttered. "It's fine, I'll get you some coffee-"
"Ah, actually I think I'm gonna go, thanks," Gray interrupted, standing up.
Natsu sniffed the air slightly, and was perplexed to find the conflicting emotions he could smell Gray exuding. He seemed very put off, no doubt by the hot cocoa he had so obviously reviled, he was rushing to leave, and appeared to feel guilty about it, and he also seemed... sad? Natsu's nose wrinkled. He had always hated the smell of sadness on Gray. Anger amused him. Irritation encouraged him. But sadness? Gray's sadness had an awful scent.
"Why are you going so soon?" Natsu asked as Gray pulled on his jacket over the t-shirt he was miraculously still wearing (In retrospect, that alone should have tipped them off to Gray's bad mood). "We just got here."
"Well Ashy Boy some of us have more to do that just crash at Lucy's all the time," Gray snapped, as he headed to the door.
"Gray..." Erza growled, shooting a warning look at Gray's retreating back. "There's no need-" she started, but was cut off by the closing door. Lucy and Wendy gulped. Gray had just ignored and cut off Erza. There would be hell to pay later. Natsu didn't take any notice of this however.
He turned around to watch Gray through the window, walking away in the falling snow. Why would hot cocoa bother Gray so much...

"Oh yes, Gray-sama can't drink hot cocoa," Juvia nodded over her drink, sitting across from Natsu at a small café not far from Kardia Cathedral. "Juvia tried making him a mug once last Christmas, he just sniffed it once and said he was allergic. So, he did the same to Lucy?"
"Yeah," Natsu confirmed thoughtfully. "If he didn't like it, why couldn't he just say so?"
"Oh, it's not a matter of whether or not he likes hot cocoa. Juvia talked to him about it before, he told me that 'Master Ur always made the best hot cocoa'."
Natsu stared. "So he refuses to drink anything less than Ur's? How good was it?"
"Very, apparently. Gray-sama smiled quite fondly when he talked about it."
"Tch, typical Ice Queen, will only accept the best. Welp!" Natsu grinned, hopping up. "Time to find Ur's secret recipe! Thanks Juvia."
"Oh! Uh, any time Natsu, good luck," Juvia replied as Natsu quickly paid for their drinks before heading out. "But why are you in such a rush?!" she called after him.
"The sooner I find the way she made it, the sooner I can make Gray's sadness go away!" Natsu yelled back, grinning widely.
Juvia chuckled slightly as he disappeared from sight. Honestly, she thought, sipping her coffee, Natsu is the only person whose crush on Gray is as obvious as Juvia's.

"Just tell me what I need to know. It'll be easier that way."
The shadowy figure loomed over the man in his bed, who had up until very recently been enjoying his sleep. The muffled voice spoke again.
"Do you plan to co-operate or do I need to make you?"
"Natsu, for fuck's sake," Lyon sighed groggily, rubbing his eyes as he sat up in bed, reaching over to switch on his bedside lamp, revealing Natsu, with his scarf obscuring his face in his favourite "ninja" style. "What are you doing in my bedroom?"
"Aw, how'd you know it was me?" Natsu whined, unwrapping the muffler around his head.
"Your silhouette isn't very hard to identify, and you're heating up the room."
"Dammit-" Natsu began, only to be intercepted.
"You didn't answer me," Lyon grunted seriously, standing to loom over Natsu in what would have been an intimidating gesture if Lyon weren't naked (He was a student of Ur's after all). "What are you doing in my apartment?"
"Uh, can we talk?" Natsu asked sheepishly, wanting to keep things civil now that Lyon had seen through his scare tactics.
The two moved out of the bedroom into the predominantly dark blue living room, sitting down on armchairs across one another, Natsu throwing his feet onto the coffee table between them.
"So I have a question for you."
"That required breaking-and-entering?"
"Nah, that's just for shits and giggles," Natsu replied, waving away the question. "I just wanted to know if you know how Ur used to make hot cocoa."
This visibly took Lyon by surprised, as his cold demeanour fell apart and his eyes widened. "Why would you want to know that?"
"It's been bothering Gray, and he won't drink any other cocoa, it's annoying."
Lyon hid a smirk. Oh, if only Gray knew his crush was doing all this for him... "Sorry, but I don't know. She kept it top secret."
Natsu groaned. "Was it written down?"
"I never saw her look at a recipe. She just, kind of, did it," Lyon shrugged, not sure how to phrase it.
"So was it really all that great?" Natsu figured he might as well ask.
Lyon looked dreamily out of the window. "It was wonderful. It tasted like love..."
"Okay, tough standard to achieve," Natsu grunted, before his face lit up. "But you remember what it tastes like!"
"Like, you'd recognise it if you had it again?"
"Oh yes, definitely."
"Well that's easy then!" Natsu quickly decided. "We'll just try a bunch of ways to make hot cocoa and you can taste until we get it right!"
"That sounds like a lot of work-"
"You'd get to taste her cocoa again."
"YOU'RE RIGHT LET'S GO!" Lyon shouted, suddenly full of energy, running out of his apartment with an abrupt burst of determination. Natsu stood where he was momentarily, hearing a female scream and a slap in the hall of the apartment complex, followed by a very red faced Lyon, having been made aware of his continued nudity, returning to the room. "Pants. Pants first."

"So Mug #43 was too sweet..." Natsu murmured, noting this on his clipboard, as Lyon stifled a belch. The two sat at a counter in Erza's heavily equipped kitchen, as Titania, donned in what she referred to as her "Cocoa Empress Armour" (Translation: Her normal clothes, with an apron and a Santa hat) placed another cup of cocoa in the "Failed" section, ruing her decision to help Natsu in his mission to find Ur's secret recipe.
"#43 was too sweet, #42 wasn't sweet enough," she grumbled, shooting daggers (metaphorically, but she strongly considered doing so literally) at Lyon. "#26 was too 'cinnamony', #14 tasted like 'Halloween cocoa' whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. Natsu, I'm running out of ideas here. There are only so many ways to make this drink."
"Yeah, and you know all of them except the right one," Lyon mumbled, feeling sick from hot cocoa OD. Erza spun around and held up a hand to smash his head through the marble counter when Natsu quickly intervened.
"Hey, #35 was really nice, do we have any of that left?"
"No. Mr Picky-Choosy here thought that one wasn't 'tender enough'."
"Look, I never said they were bad," Lyon clarified. "But Natsu, explicitly wanted Ur's exact recipe for Gray. And none of them were it."
Natsu felt unusually upset about this. I- I give up. I couldn't do this for Gray. He's never gonna drink hot cocoa again... Fuck, why did this hurt? Was the smell of Gray's sadness going to stick out even more prominently, now that Natsu had utterly failed to resolve it's source, even though he had so firmly decided he would?
...Fuck it.

Not an hour later, Natsu came running into the guild hall with a grocery bag, scanning the place wildly until his eyes hit the Ice Mage, who sat alone in a booth in the left corner of the hall, reading. Glad that the guild was quiet due to the cold weather, the snow-covered Salamander marched over to him, and slammed the grocery bag onto the table before Gray, startling the taller man into dropping his book.
"Natsu, what-"
"Okay!" the Dragon Slayer announced, breaking into a rant, as he extracted a box of mugs from the bag and tore it open, placing a mug roughly in front of a bewildered Gray. "I tried, and I tried, but I couldn't figure out how to make hot cocoa like Ur did, and I'm sorry," he ploughed on, digging through the bad and producing a large jug. "I just wanted to get you to like cocoa again and stop smelling so damn sad," Natsu grumbled, filling the jug by half with milk from a carton he had in the bag, not even looking at Gray, focusing intently on the task at hand. Not seeing the look of shock and affection that Gray was giving him. Not seeing the tears that pricked his eyes. "43 different damn recipes, and none of them right, I got Lyon and Erza to help me and we couldn't do it," Natsu explained, unwrapping a large chocolate bar and proceeding to magically heat it, melting it into the milk. "All because you're so damn picky, Ice Queen," he spat, adding a sachet of sugar and starting to frantically stir the cold concoction he'd created. "All because I'm willing to do all this shit just to get you to fucking smile, you're so lucky, y'know?" he finished, pouring the mixture into Gray's cup, before gently blowing a small flame onto it. The "drink" bubbled briefly before settling, enriched with dragonfire. "Look, I know it's not Ur's, and it definitely won't be as good, but just... just give the Special Natsu Recipe a chance, okay?" Natsu sat down across from Gray and looked him dead in the eyes, ignoring how wet they seemed to be. "Drink."
Gray gulped slightly, before picking up the mug, its handle warm to the touch, and tentatively taking a drink from it. Natsu waited and watched for a stressful few seconds as Gray tasted, and as he swallowed. Gray put a hand to his bare chest, and Natsu knew that he was feeling the warmth of dragonfire travelling down his oesophagus, a sensation very familiar to Natsu. Gray stared at the drink before him, his bangs hiding his eyes from Natsu's view, and he shook slightly, before sniffing quickly and looking up to meet Natsu's quiet stare. He grinned, trying to muster his usual cocky expression, but failed miserably, summoning an adoring gaze in its place.
"It's perfect."
Natsu froze. He had been prepared for a lot of reactions but that wasn't one of them. He stood and walked around to look at Gray up close, scanning for signs of deception, but Gray simply continued to smile at him.
"...Perfect? But that's... impossible! Lyon said that Ur's cocoa tasted like love! How could they be the same?"
"It's nothing like Ur's," Gray hummed calmly, cradling the mug in his hands. "But it has the same taste."
"What the hell does that mean?!" Natsu roared in frustration.
Gray looked at Natsu, who quietened down immediately. "Here, try it."
Natsu had expected to reach out and take the mug. He hadn't expected Gray to take a swig. He hadn't expected Gray to stand, and to grab him by the scarf, pulling him in and locking their mouths. He hadn't expected such a nice taste.
Natsu performed the impressive task of tasting both the cocoa and Gray at once, and managing to swallow the former without choking himself, until only tongues imbued with the taste remained, battling one another. The two broke apart, and Gray looked at Natsu tenderly.
"Did you taste it?" he asked quietly, a hand buried in Natsu's soft hair.
"Yeah," Natsu whispered breathlessly, a pink glow on his cheeks. "That tasted like love..."

anonymous asked:

Rachel, how do you think Stydia will get together on the show? Like, not how you wish it would happen, but how you think will actually happen? This is kinda random but I just wanted to hear your opinion, because I'm always afraid that Jeff won't make it /right/. Fanfics have ruined me tbh.

There’s a few scenarios that I think are totally and completely plausible. But first, here is what I think is definitely going to happen: 

  • They will make their way back to each other as friends. 
  • Stiles will get upset about Parrish and/or their parents going on a date. “Dad, why the hell would you think it’s okay to go on a date with the only girl I’ve ever–?!” (He cuts himself off. His dad kind of smiles knowingly.) “Ever what, Stiles.”
  • Stiles and Malia pull apart. It is unrelated to Lydia. (Aside from the fact that this is lazy and sloppy writing, like all of the fans would hate it, and it would make it too obvious that Stiles and Lydia are endgame. They still think we don’t know. Sssshhh.) 
  • They will become so much closer as friends again omfg and their relationship will be built back up to almost where it used to be fight me.
  • We will see Stiles completely crash and burn, hit rock bottom, and then slowly but certainly return to who he is. They won’t get Stydia back together (why do I think they already dated?) without showing that Stiles is going to be mentally healthy. Jeff Davis protects that character like Stiles is his child. 
  • Stiles makes the first/final move. Stiles instigates. Lydia does nothing. It’s Stiles. Stiles is the one that’s gonna do this; he makes this choice. He makes the choice to be with her, and not any of the other people that the fans choose to ship him with. Lydia. 

Okay. Now the theories. Let’s do this. 

The Romione: Stiles and Lydia are about to die, or, rather, they realize that there’s a possibility that they could die pretty soon. They’re like, “Dude, if we die tonight and we haven’t said how we feel, that is shit.” (I’m too emotional to say this better. Just fucking kill me.) So they just… they kiss and there’s this look between them like “Yeah. We got this.” And for the rest of the “final battle” they just have each other’s backs constantly and its unreal, how well they work together, and they’re more in sync than ever. After that, they’re just sort of… together. 

The Charah: This isn’t actually how they get together (Chuck and Sarah), but it’s a factor. (The comparison here is when Sarah thought Chuck killed his target, but it was actually Casey because he wanted Chuck to be spy.) They grow back together as friends and a big part of that is because Lydia finds out about the fact that Stiles killed Donovan and is okay with it. She understands his darkness. She accepts it. So Stiles starts going to her when he feels like he needs “fixing” and she’s always there to tell him that he doesn’t. And one time he’s kind of crying because he’s so lost, and she’s not going to kiss him but he kisses her, because he needs to find himself in her. Maybe she stops it. Or maybe they end up having grief/comfort sex. The next day, or later, when he’s in a bit of a better place, he talks about it. They talk about it together. And they make the decision to go for it, because whether he’s out of his mind or completely fine, he always wants Lydia Martin. 

The Blythely: One of them is lying dying in a bed (oh my sweet Gilbert) and the other one is like, “If this person dies, they have to know that I love them.” But then, the confession/kiss gives the other person the strength to recover and they have one awkward conversation before settling the fuck into a beautiful relationship. 

The Rosschel: Stiles finds out that Lydia has been utterly and completely in love with him for a while, and when he thinks back on all of his actions, he feels utter and complete shame. He sees her somewhere (god, in the school hallway would kill me, but also her bedroom because A++++. Character development from the first time he was in there. But school hallway because parallels) and he just walks up to her and kisses her, no explanation required. I love the way Rachel just walks up to Ross and slides her hands up his chest and wraps them around his neck so she can pull his lips to hers. She doesn’t need to say anything. They know. (Also found in Pitch Perfect 2 with Becca and Jesse, my children.) 

The Dizzie: After everything that happens, Stiles just like… re-confesses. It’s the end of the series. And he goes to Lydia one day and says the equivalent of the “you are too generous to trifle with me” speech from Pride & Prejudice. Actually, we could use almost exact dialogue from The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. “[Lydia], I still feel the same way I felt [before.] More strongly even than I did then. So if you just want to be friends, then-” Lydia kisses him. He pulls back, gaping at her, and she just smiles and says– “Does that… clarify some things for you?”

The Lukelai: They’re having a fight (maybe about each other’s safety? Oh hell yes. Or maybe even about how he was treating her lately, although I don’t see that happening because the dynamic seems to be shifting, once more, this season) and they end up kissing and then they’re just done. They’re cooked. Because I s2g, one more kiss and I don’t think either of them would ever be able to back away from each other ever again. 

I need to go recover from this conversation.