but i literally knew no one

Batfamily Preferences: Weapon of Choice | 1

Preference: Your weapon of choice/the one your S/O gifts you.

Notes: Ah, yes. Preferences. Easy. Loved. Uncommon in the Bat-fandom. A writer’s gold, and one I’m going to take advantage of. I’ll be busting out a few more of these soon, and if you have any requests for a preference (or a character to add to preferences) then send me one! (I know my inbox is literally overflowing right now but shhh we don’t need to worry about that). =D

Masterlist | Inbox

Taglist: @followeroonieclassic @instantangelstudent @puggleprincess @robincoalition @peteyparkerr  @clearly-crystall


Bruce Wayne:

When Bruce said that he would “arm you”, you imagined that you would be walking into work in full combat armor from just how protective he can be—the boys said that was him being untrustworthy, but you knew better. Bruce just wanted to protect you, and sometimes he let his arrogance get in the way of showing it correctly—or at least something, like a utility belt (”Fashionable.” Dick had remarked) or even a trio of Batarangs. But no. When Bruce calls you down to the training room and has a change of work out clothes in his arms, you dreadfully and pleasantly realize that he wants you to be the one to protect yourself when he can’t. 

Even if your heart is blazing with the joy that he trusts you to defend yourself on your own, it still took a Batman, a Nightwing, a Red Hood and a skillful butler to drag you onto the treadmill, and Damian clad in a coach’s uniform (complete with the whistle, which he definitely used) to keep you there. Bruce doesn't regret subjecting you to such torture, even if you look amazing and are much healthier, and you don’t think he ever will be.


Dick Grayson:

This is one of the many things Dick considers when your relationship finally whirrs into motion; Gotham City is one of the most dangerous cities in the world, and there is going to be times where you’re walking somewhere alone, out of his worried reach. You tell him with a shrug that you usually carry your keys between your fingers when you’re in those situations. But that doesn’t seem to really work for him, so not only does he fill your bag with pepper spray, but tosses in a taser and a pocket knife.

But you don’t even get the chance to defend yourself when he’s swooping in like a hawk (or rather, a Nightwing), landing on the culprit, and then cooing and fretting over you. When you wrap your arms around him and sigh, Dick chuckles sheepishly. Yes, he did save you. But you could save yourself, and that thought is reinforced after you get your powers and start to take on the world with him.


Jason Todd:

Jason isn’t going to beat around the bush. He’s just going to approach you on a rainy day, a duffle bag held under one arm and a membership card to a gun range in the other, saying,”Gotham City is shit. Help me make it less shitty by avoiding your ultimate demise, princess.”

The gun range is loud and startling for someone who isn’t accustomed, so Jason slips the headphones on your ears and folds goggles in front of you. But the awkwardness of the weapon in your hand adjusts. Especially because Jason’s guiding hands are so tender, and whenever you shoot the kickback launches you into his chest. He’ll smile and right you,”Perfect, doll. You’re a natural—Riddler, Harley, all of em’ are gonna go running when they see you.”

“That’s because you’ll be behind me.” You remarked.

Jason gently cups your elbows and watches you aim,”I’ll always be behind you, Y/N.”


Tim Drake:

He designs multiple things for a multitude of situations, and it only makes you feel bad because he stays up all night and day to create them. A watch that you can activate, sending a drone on your way for protection and occasionally weapons of some kind, most notably. But you’ve always been one to go above and beyond—so you take to hacking, because it can save both people online and in the real world.

When Tim finds his laptop open and exposed in the worst kind of way, he doesn’t know whether to be proud, pissed, in tears, or all three.


Damian Wayne:

Damian Wayne is… Damian Wayne. The second he discovers that you’ve never even held a sword, nevermind fought with one, he’s dragging you by the wrist over to the training mats. When you fail at winning on the first try (”We’re not all perfect like you, Damian.” You had said upon losing. Damian smirked,”I’m flattered, habibti. You think I’m perfect?”) he begins training you, which is a grueling process that makes your arms hurt and the pads of your fingers burning. On the surface, Damian rolls his eyes and tells you to suck it up, but later he unbandages your hands and kisses each of your fingers. He really is a sweetheart, even if no one but you realizes it.

anonymous asked:

i saw the name and i immediately knew it was you

ikr it’s such a me url isn’t it?
i literally watched all of the main pinofs and saved four different urls trying to find one and YET i take the one good tweet url

anonymous asked:

Okay everyone, if she doesn’t want to say four things she likes about herself, then we gotta do it for her! 1) I love how genuinely kind you seem 2) Your passion for Pooh is unrivaled 3) Your hair is so long and pretty omg 4) You radiate sincerity

I’m crying. Not even exaggerating. If I knew how to post pictures with asks on mobile, I’d show you. I’m literally crying. My heart is aching with love. Thank you so much. I feel like I have no one, but everyone here makes me know that I do. I have people that care for me. I love you kind follower. You’ve made my heart happy tonight. Thank you.

I always found it funny and kinda cute that Keith was so desperate to get Lance out of the pod before he was fully conscious and healed 

But then I thought, what exactly did he think was going to happen if he opened the pod like that or if Allura didn’t stop him, considering he knew Lance was still unconscious. I know he wanted to talk to him since they just had their bonding moment, but I mean he’s not even awake, he would have just literally fell over and crushed Pidge LOOL

Then episode one came back to mind, when Allura’s pod opened and she was still slightly unconscious and unstable but calling out to her dad so she fell over, but Lance caught her in his arms before she could get hurt

AND KEITH WAS RIGHT THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED

TRY AND TELL ME KEITH DIDN’T LITERALLY TRY AND OPEN LANCE’S POD WHILE HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS JUST SO THAT HE COULD FALL FORWARD INTO HIS ARMS AND THAT’S WHY HE WAS SO POUTY ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T GET HIS WAY

NOT TO MENTION HE LITERALLY STAYED BY THE POD FOR EIGHT YEARS BEFORE GOING TO JOIN THE OTHERS TOO, MOST LIKELY WAITING FOR LANCE TO COME OUT ALL SHAKY AND UNSTABLE SO HE COULD HOLD HIM UP

IM SCREAMING

6

(( OOC: More before and afters… also… a little sneak peak of a project I’m currently working on. ;) )) 

Accurate first impressions of Kpop groups
  • <p> <b>Super Junior:</b> "so many members??? so many sub-groups/units??? suju is literally every other kpop groups' dads. been in the game for so long and still run kpop. Trendsetters. Legendary. all of them are MCs. Why aren't they running SM by themselves???"<p/><b>BigBang:</b> "badass!! cars!!! sad?? emo??? party!!!! every group looks up to them and admires them.....your fave's faves. weird dancing(?) but they're always lit. it's always a bigbang concert whenever they perform. why is that one guy so tall? that one guy is popular in Japan!!! the difference between Jiyong & G-dragon is scary."<p/><b>SHINee:</b> "it feels like everyone has solo projects and they probably get together only for Christmas or to get turnt up. are they Japanese?? i think those 2 short guys are dating idk. wtf why is he called tofu....why is he called bling bling.......WTF IS A DIBIDIBIDIBI-"<p/><b>Infinite:</b> "wow they dance so in sync w/ each other. probably heard their catchy af songs before really diving into the fandom. created the scorpion dance, how epic. they just seem so real?? like they're brothers??? is that one a girl or a boy??<p/><b>VIXX:</b> "so tall. so violent. so shippable w/ everyone. pretty sure they have a confirmed gay sub-unit?? their maknae likes to bully them. jellyfish doesn't deserve them. so.....they're vampires, voodoo dolls, 8 year old kids, video game characters, Greek gods....what can't this group do????"<p/><b>BTOB:</b> "everyone knows about their reputation, they're wild af. hella tiny compared to normal human beings. i was blinded when looking @ that guy's smile he's an angel sent from heaven. their songs either make you wanna cry into your pillow or join a high school musical is2g."<p/><b>EXO:</b> "they seem kinda scary/intimidating bc SM won't let them fangirl. everyone's an exo fangirl and fanboy on the inside. iM crEEPin iN Ur HeARt BAbE. they literally glow on stage??? are they still wolves???? do they still have superpowers??? who is Chinese and who is Korean??? i thought there were 12....."<p/><b>B.A.P:</b> "so are they best absolute perfect or are they called rice? weird aliens/rabbits is a concept i never knew i needed. they sued their company together but there's always one guy who kills them all? why??? everyone who talks about b.a.p wants to skydive i'm so confused. so is that hot guy w/ the deep ass voice actually their grandfather??"<p/><b>Got7:</b> "so many different races in 1 group i'm living. bruh their dorms must be so wild, how are they raising a dog??? rapline is kinda weak........they could still get it tho. all of them have such vibrant personalities MUST. RESIST. STANNING. their second name is dab7? i don't know them."<p/><b>Seventeen:</b> "ok joke's on us, we all thought we couldn't remember exo's names but shitballs, seventeen exists. wow they seem so fun to be around, i want to be their friend. their leader must have approximately 8.9 breakdowns everyday. how are they always so happy??? they're legit stranded on an island ffs. dino is 100% their real baby."<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> "so THAT'S the member that everyone loves bc he's such a meme. do they always remix their songs when performing??? they're so lit???? i'm still confused as to why this group doesn't have a first win. came to check them out bc of got7 and wasn't disappointed."<p/><b>Day6:</b> "lmao that famous guy from twitter is in a kpop group???? why does it feel like JYP is just letting them run around the company and do whatever they want at this point....does JYP even know they exist?? their songs make you wanna hit up your nonexistent ex *jams sadly*. who's bob???"<p/><b>iKon:</b> "they shouldn't be the next bigbang or the next anything, they're low-key doing amazing already. bad first impressions always turn into good ones when yall take the time to know them. they literally have their own anthem??? what's a visual i only know ikon."<p/><b>NCT:</b> "there SM goes again, tempting us w/ new groups but depriving us of comebacks. how is taeyong supposed to hold the fort down when he has 40 kids he hasn't even met yet?? they're exo's biggest fanboys, everyone needs to stan them asap. if they didn't look and sound so good, i'd sue SM for dressing them like they're homeless. the dreamies are so spoiled by the hyungs and their company. MY CHILDREN????"<p/></p>

“The album has taken a year and a half to write, whereas with One Direction we’d have six weeks” they literally had six weeks to write an album jfc…. like i knew that in general and how rushed their shit was and how overworked they were but…. damn.

10

In which a one-off character that dies in the pilot succinctly describes everything that James Flint is fighting against for this whole series - even though we won’t understand that for a Very Long Time.

1x01 || 2x05

BONUS:

Maybe, if I post every time this happens, abled people will stop thinking that this sort of thing is rare.

A while back I was sitting by the restaurant in Ikea and using my phone while I waited for Marvin to buy some things.

I was seated at one of four high-backed chairs arranged around a low coffee table. Across the table from me was a stranger, his young son sat in the chair to the right of me, and his daughter, who was about nine-years-old, sat on the floor at the coffee table. She was colouring and her brother was playing on a DS.

Their father stared at me while pretending he wasn’t. It’s pretty obvious when someone is watching you from eight feet away, though. I didn’t get angry vibes so I wasn’t concerned and just pointedly ignored him while catching Pidgey after Pidgey.

My phone had a semi-transparent, soft plastic case on it. I usually covered it with cute stickers. At that time, it had large words written in sharpie on the back that said, “It’s rude to stare”.

I was absorbed in my game when the stranger across from me laughed suddenly, loudly, and pointed me out to his daughter.

“Her phone says, ‘It’s rude to stare’,” he said.

He chuckled and looked at my face, expecting an explanation.

I stared at him.

He stared back.

I sighed.

“Oh, yeah. People stare at me a lot,” Just like you were, I thought. I waved my phone to show off the words. “So I wrote that on there. So, yeah.”

I went back to my game. Guy chuckled again.

“Really, people stare at you? Why?” He asked.

I looked up from my phone. I stared at him.

He stared back. I raised my eyebrows. He kept waiting for an answer.

I held up the butterfly-printed cane that had been leaning against my legs by way of explanation. “Sometimes I use a walker or wheelchair, too.”

“And people stare?” He pressed.

“Yep,” I said shortly.

“Wow. Well, you know, I think it’s probably because of their own personal fear.”

I seriously bristled at that. The tone was awful, really patronizing.

“Yeah. Seeing disabled people in public is a real shock. We remind people of their own mortality,” I said humourlessly, adding in some sarcastic laughter for good measure. I tried to signal my disinterest by lowering my head and leaning over my phone screen.

“Yeah-” he said, charging full speed ahead like he didn’t even need me for this conversation. He clearly had something to say all prepared.

"And you know, it’s funny. But I used to be scared of- people- people with disabilities,” he said, with a smile and lean-in, touching his fingertips together, making me want to punch his face.

I was in a bit of social shock. I just kept thinking, are you kidding me? This Ikea food court confession is happening right now, huh?

“Not physical disabilities, but mental disabilities.”

He was so smarmy, you guys. When he said that, I think my soul left my body. And I had no idea how to either respond or extricate myself reasonably. 

I hesitated, looked from this guy to his children, who were watching the exchange with awkward interest.

“Oh. Uh. Well, I’m autistic, so…” I let my words trail off. To this day I have no idea where that sentence would have gone.

“Oh. Oh! But I mean, you can’t tell,” he turned tomato red. “You’re so well-spoken and- I guess you could say that you have really overcome.”

As he was fumbling, I was giving him an exaggerated but sincerely felt grimace and an unimpressed "ehhh”.

At his pronouncement of my overcoming, I sat up straight and said, loudly and pissed enough that his children started looking worried, “Uh, yikes. No.”

Guy’s daughter looked like she would rather he did anything but continue talking, but that’s what he did. Like any allistic abled white dude worth his salt /s, he powered through, ignoring my obvious and projected displeasure.

“But, I mean. In school, it’s funny, because it ended up that most of my friends were handicapped. I guess I kind of protected them-” His voice took on an artificially soft, sticky quality. It was at this moment that I snapped.

“Okay. I’m going to cut you off there,” I said. I put my hand up. His tomato face spoiled.

“What? Why?” He seemed torn between expressing frustration and wanting to appear kind-hearted and open-minded in front of his children.

“Well. Uh. Ugh,“ I looked at his kids, wondering how harsh or how kind I should be. I hated that he put me in this spot. In that moment I hated him so much.

"Well, you’re saying a lot of stuff that non-disabled people think is nice to hear, but it’s not. It’s just- it’s just not.” I knew it was pointless to try to explain. My words were failing fast. He didn’t really care, anyway.

“I wouldn’t even be able to explain it to you,” I shrugged.

He gaped at me. Now he was angry. This wasn’t going how he had wanted it to.

“I know you’re coming from a good place. But it’s not nice. It’s just not… yeah.” I gripped the handle of my cane in one hand and my phone, Pokémon Go forgotten, in the other. I fought the urge to literally run away. I felt the surreal pressure of my behaviour being one of these kids’ formative disability-related experiences.

“Oh. Uh. Well. Okay. Sorry,” he said, embarrassed, not sorry. “And uh, thanks for saying that,” he said, trying to get me back. I looked away.

“I just-” he started. Even his children looked unhappily surprised that he was trying for that last word.

“I just want to say that you’re great.

I didn’t look at him. I smiled at his daughter, who smiled back out of habit, more confused than anything. His son looked down at his DS, secondhand embarrassment turning him red too.

“Hmm. Well, your kids seem nice,” I offered breezily.

After that, I moved away from the circle of green chairs and sat in an uncomfortably high stool in the corner. I hid there, head down, my hands shaking very slightly, feeling paranoid. Like I failed. And that my friends, is ableism. 

2

there wasn’t a wrong or a right he could choose he did what he had to do

10

“i’m  r u i n e d  over you.”

Someone: Why are you so upset about Kaede?

Me internally: Kaede Akamatsu had the potential to be a fantastic character and a groundbreaking protagonist for the series. From the moment the prologue ends, she successfully united everyone and was able to push them towards an escape route, something no previous protagonist has ever done. Her self-esteem is stable and uplifting unlike previous protagonists like Makoto, Komaru, even Hajime despite the fact his problems weren’t displayed front and center from the beginning by the end we knew how deep they went but Kaede genuinely was a fully self-assured confident protagonist. And it didn’t stop there. When her first plan didn’t work she immediately began working on other ways to escape. But, instead of having a game with an active character leading the scene she gets the fridge for Shuichi. This is bad enough, but it’s even worse seeing how it plays out afterwards. After her death, everyone plays her up as some glorious angel despite the fact that, no matter what her intentions were, she went behind Shuichi, and all of her friends backs and killed an innocent. It would at least be cool to play the idea that Kaede was so driven by her want to save everyone she ended up doing something awful, because that makes her an interesting and multi-layered character, but this fact is never bought center stage and instead the narrative portrays her as some kind of saint, with the only people who kinda call her misdeeds to attention being Angie and Kokichi. After her death, Shuichi constantly thinks, ‘Kaede entrusted me her wish’, ‘Kaede believed in me’, and other such thoughts which really drives home the point that she existed to make him feel sad, and that’s annoying because before she got the axe they had a good dynamic. She was the one who pushed him when he wasn’t feeling up to it, and he was the one who anchored her when she was getting overeccentric. That’s a romance I would be far more willing to see carry a game than having our main character cry over someone who he knew for less than a week. This show of manpain and glorification is at its worst when it’s revealed she was framed by the mastermind at the end, which in addition to letting us in that she was quite literally killed off for no reason, is used as a way to say she’s innocent despite the fact that she still orchestrated, and almost successfuly carried out a murder that could have led to poor Rantarou dead on the floor. Shuichi isn’t a terrible protagonist, but the poor writing for Kaede as nothing more than a plot device for angst, and waifu bait was a heavy dissapointment.

Me externally: I wanted to play as a girl lol

wow thats uhhhhhhh pretty gay

Thor Ragnarok

So I watched the movie again today and I feel like I can finally talk and fangirl about it


SPOILERS AHEAD


  • Loki was beautiful
  • Hela fricking slayed
  • When Loki looked at the Teseract I was literally freaking out like boi please don’t
  • Also I never knew how much I needed Loki in a black suit
  • And Odin!Loki hosting a theatre to recreate his death and building a statue just cracked me up so much
  • The scene with Loki and Dr.Strange was hilarious but pls stop bullying my baby-
  • Odin’s death killed me more than Frigga’s tbh and Loki was rlly sad and no one can tell me otherwise
  • “Kneel before your queen” “bITCH DID U JUST STEAL MY LINE”
  • “He’s my brother” “Adopted”
  • Thor begging to not get his hair cut
  • Oh and R.I.P Mjolnir btw
  • I’m also really into scared Loki idk why
  • “I have to get off of this planet”
  • Also Thor being traumatised abt seeing Hulk naked
  • Loki is beautiful
  • Thor trying to be cool in front of Valkyrie and completely failing
  • I also really like that stone guy
  • Oh and Grandmaster is an a-hole Thor would have won against Hulk but nOOOOO
  • Hela is prettier with her hair open tbh I don’t rlly like that helmet crown thingy
  • Where the hell is Sif?
  • Heimdall is freaking cool okay
  • Please stop hurting Loki
  • Oh and the fact that Loki stabbed Thor when they were only 8 years old fills me with joy
  • Banner complaining about Tony’s pants
  • Thor constantly trying to keep Bruce calm
  • Loki can look at people’s memories??? How cool is that??
  • That other scraper lady who hates Valkyrie is a b-
  • Oh and Loki was really beautiful did I already mention that?
  • I kinda feel bad for Hela
  • Thor being happy to see Loki
  • “Your saviour is here” (I squealed)
  • I was really scared when Loki went to bring that demon back to life like I thought he flippin died
  • Omg Loki’s skills and hair flip y'all
  • Where is my Thorki hug? Like boi
  • I really wanted them to hug k ;-;
  • Fucking love the soundtrack of the whole movie
  • Oh and remember the two girls at the beginning who were taking a selfie with Thor? hOW CAN THEY JUST IGNORE LOKI’S BEAUTY
  • Tbh if I were one of the girl’s I would have hugged Loki and give him all the love he needs aaaaa ;-;
  • Oh yeah Loki was really fucking beautiful
  • God I can’t get over how great this movie is y'all

Fuck Loki was so perfect I can’t

(I probably forgot a few things but I think y'all understand now how much I love this film)

my thoughts on every rep song

ready for it: still tied for my favourite with one other. i just love it idk why. i was literally so shocked when it came out i just… IDK I GRAVITATED TO IT.

end game: catchy! not something i would really listen to if it wasn’t taylor, you know? but it’s still a bop. she’s also a lyrical genius, like they’re all so well written. ‘and i bury hatchets, but i keep maps of where i put ‘em’. so fucking good.

i did something bad: hands down my favourite alongside ready for it. it’s my type of music, if that makes sense? this is my ‘haunted’, ‘ikywt’ and ‘i know places’ of the album. it’s my favourite 100%.

don’t blame me: adore it. definitely a ‘overdose on drugs’ song (lmfao that’s what my sister calls what my music taste is like) and yep i love it. so good and sultry and catchy and darker and she is taking no one’s shit.

delicate: really good. i love her lyrics. i love the beat. i wanted a lil somethin more, feels very… one tone? idk i don’t know music verbiage but it’s still very good and def gonna be a good driving song.

look what you made me do: a banger. ‘nuff said.

so it goes…: ‘you know i’m not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you’ ripriprip i really love this song too. i honestly adore the direction her music is going in. whenever i say ‘ya i’m a taylor fan’ people will be confused cause she’s normally not what i listen to but this is definitely going in my typical direction and i LOVE her exploring it.

gorgeous: it grows on me every time i listen to it. i wasn’t feeling it the first time i listened, but when it comes on now i’m like OH WORM??????? again, her lyrics are other worldly but we all knew that. not to mention that cat lyric was literally written for me.

getaway car: the robot noise at the beginning is… inch resting. but this song feels very… 1989 taylor for sure. it’s a good thing. it’s a banger. i’m going to be screaming it in the shower. but it’s not my favourite. still catchy tho.

king of my heart: this one feels very forgettable when it starts but then that…hook…chorus…drop… (seriously i don’t know music terms) hits and you’re like OH ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT? i can’t wait to dance to this at the concert. but the talking-singing part is a little ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to me but that’s okay cause it just gets me more pumped for the DROP!

dancing with our hands tied: a banger. this one intrigued me the most by the title alone, and i wasn’t disappointed. wasn’t my FAVOURITE but i have a feeling all these songs are going to grow more and more on me over time till they’re all my favourites so. but i do love it? not much else to say.

dress: so i want to do the do to this song. it’s sexy. it’s so different. i absolutely love that she’s exploring new things and new lyrics and just!!!! so proud!!!!

this is why we can’t have nice things: lorde vibes??? anyone????? 22/new romantics vibes during the chorus, not sure why. i think this one will have to grow on me? 

call it what you want: so soft. so pure. so good. i want to drive down the coast with my lover’s hand on my thigh to this song.

new year’s day: lyrics! lyrics! lyrics! i wish i loved it more but i think that will come in due time. i’m just hyped and it’s lower tempo so i think this is going to be a song i need to listen to when i am crying. i’ll update you once i’m in that mood lmao.

in conclusion:

taylor swift murdered me!!!

Lapis and Peridot: abusive power + control

So out of curiosity in light of Raising the Barn, I was brushing up on power and control in abusive relationships, and I came across this interesting diagram:

These are tactics used by abusers to obtain power and control in their relationships. When used together, it creates what’s known as a climate of fear– and, with this, the victim will feel like they don’t have an equal voice in the relationship.

First off, I strongly believe Lapis was holding onto a sense of power over Peridot that she was at least somewhat aware of, leading to Peridot’s hesitation to voice her own wishes. And I’ll like to break down and illustrate the major tactics she used that unambiguously gave her power and control in her and Peridot’s relationship, because apparently there’s still debate on whether or not Lapis is an abusive character.

(mind you, not all tactics have to be used in a relationship, but considering I cover half of them below… I’d say it’s more than enough)

Keep reading

Why Fans Resonate With Lance So Much and Why We’re Mad He’s a False Protagonist (spoilers I guess)

So Lance has pretty much been my favorite character since about ten seconds after he came on screen, and I’ll try to get right to the point about why I feel that way and why a giant portion of the vld fandom feels that way as well.

Obviously, Lance has been openly shown to have insecurities about his self-worth. I can’t really think of another character from a cartoon show (except maybe, like, Sokka from A;TLA) to have this plotline to this degree, but it’s a very unique and sensitive characterization that should be handled a little more carefully than it has been.

As a recap, Lance doesn’t really contribute much in the way of “hyper-specialized skills” to Voltron (aside from occasional shots of underused Sniper!Lance.) But next to him, we see 1). An ace pilot with special alien heritage and advanced hand-to-hand fighting skills who has been picked as the successor to the team’s leader 2). An Earth hero/veteran with a special prosthetic that gives him valuable fighting abilities, who pilots the oh-so-special Black Lion 3). An engineering genius 4). A tech/ex machina genius 5). A space princess with magical powers, fighting skills, and shapeshifting abilities who can ‘sense’ and ‘channel’ whatever whenever the plot needs her to.

And then, oh yeah, we’ve got…Lance. Who cracks goofy jokes. 

He’s NORMAL! And it SUCKS to feel ‘normal’ when everyone around you seems so effortlessly special!

I’ve struggled with that feeling my whole life—that habit of constantly measuring myself against others and obsessing over what I can “contribute”. For the longest time, I thought I was only as valuable as what I could bring to the table. So I was shocked and awed to see a character with that same affliction. It’s odd. I’ve never had a character I resonated so strongly with. I see myself in Lance so much.

Our own insecurities are validated and reflected through Lance’s character. It’s a real emotional issue that many of us struggle with, so to see it on the screen given representation means something.

ANYWAY—Onto why Lance is a false protagonist, and why I’m pissed about it. In fiction, a false protagonist is “a literary technique, often used to make the plot more jarring or more memorable by fooling the audience’s preconceptions, that constructs a character who the audience assumes is the protagonist but is later revealed not to be.”

LANCE WAS SET UP DURING THE BEGINNING OF EPISODE ONE AS THOUGH HE WAS THE MAIN CHARACTER. 

Seriously, think about how books typically use their prologue+main story setup. We got our prologue (Shiro and the Holts being taken) and then it opens up to what the viewers assume is the start of the “Main Story” which typically follows the main character-to-be. This is a natural pattern to follow in storytelling because it helps the viewer understand and process what role each character plays overall. Lance is the first character we got a little bit of a read on with that whole “Blah blah remember you’re just a replacement for the dropout so don’t end up like him” Garrison test flight, so that’s another reason for the viewer to latch onto him. 

Watching Voltron for the first time knowing literally nothing about it going in, I knew there would be a team dynamic as episode one unfolded but thought that there would be special emphasis on Lance as the main character (think Aang from A;TLA. Yeah, there was a team of main characters, but Aang was THE main character if you get what I’m saying).

Seriously, go back and watch the first episode again if you didn’t notice it the first time. By a writing standpoint, Lance is written in the most “This will be the main character!” way possible. 

Which is why it’s so bizarre that he’s been pushed to the back-burner for so many seasons now. God, at this point, his back-burner isn’t even turned on anymore. He and Hunk are just the 3-day old pots of mac n’ cheese congealing by the sink while Shiro, Keith, and Pidge are lit up and ready to go at a moment’s notice, but at least Hunk’s Balmeran arc in season 1 spanned, like, 2 or 3 whole episodes when Lance is lucky to get anything beyond two minutes.

I’ve accepted that he’s not THE main character (I WAS starting to think it was Keith, but then he f’ed off for season 4 and I was like, no, Voltron, when we said we wanted less Keith we just meant we needed a better balance of characters not the entire removal of one) (and anyway how bad is it that even when Keith’s character is finally drawn back a little bit, WE STILL. GET. NO. LANCE (or Hunk). ARC.) 

Still, the dynamic from a writer’s standpoint is a little clunky. In my experience, stories are best told when they revolve around a singular main character, or two, like Gravity Falls for example. But things fall apart and get messy, especially in a television format, if you try to sell 5 main characters (six if you count Allura) as equally important (story-wise) right from the start. It just doesn’t work. It’s only natural to latch onto one or two characters and that’s why we keep getting these “Just wait, Lance will get his (3 second, never mentioned again or brought forward into a new season) moment!” promises. Good storytelling just doesn’t evolve well when you try to juggle five characters as all equally THE main character. And it ESPECIALLY feels super-clunky since Lance was introduced in episode one of the whole show as the potential main character and then used mostly for comic-relief ever since.

And when I say I want a Lance arc, I don’t mean “I want a Lance arc where Lance helps Keith learn to lead” or whatever—NO, GODDAMMIT. I WANT. AN ARC. FOCUSED SPECIFICALLY ON LANCE. NOT ON LANCE GROWING AS A SUPPORT FOR OTHER CHARACTERS’ GROWTH.

I was actually hoping that whole “Lance Dies in season 4!” worry going around would be true because 1). Lance obviously wouldn’t die for-real, so I wasn’t even worried about that 2). It would mean we would actually be getting what could have been a very emotional and quality Lance-focused story arc longer than three minutes.

I’m actually starting to think Lance isn’t going to get a story arc that spans across a few episodes that also remains the driving theme of those episodes. I think it will be another tossed-out line regarding his insecurity and that will be it.

I wanted Lance to be the Black Paladin so freaking bad, you guys! It would have been such a twist, such a moment for him to show off the leadership skills he’s been quietly accumulating. AND HOW ANGRY WAS I IN SEASON 4 WHEN LANCE LOGICALLY SAID “HM, MAYBE WE SHOULDN’T STAND UNDER THESE GENERATOR THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THEY COULD FORM A FORCE FIELD AT ANY TIME” AND SHIRO BASICALLY SAID “WAIT HOLD ON, WE HAVE TO INVESTIGATE WHAT IT IS BY STANDING EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” WTF. LANCE, WHY ARE YOU SO IGNORED.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m cranky and kind of forgot where I was going with this but I’m signing off, passively hoping that maybe Lance will one day get his huge “I’m Keith and I get whole seasons dedicated to me” arc. 

But it probably won’t happen.

Ugh.

I’m going back to bed.