but i like how clean it is

EXO reacting to a dirty tape of their s/o or their s/o watching porn

the title is longer than the actual post wtf
have fun buttercups

XIUMIN

  • “You did… what? A sextape?”
  • would find it funny as fuck for some reason
  • also wouldn’t believe you until you show him
  • “It was a fraternity party and I was drunk ok”
  • “You look like you’re about to vomit”
  • it would be okay for him
  • why not, you’re grown up and had partners before him
  • “This is the baddest sextape I’ve ever seen-” *LMAO*
    “but we can make a better sequel”
  • *wink wink*

SUHO

  • shocked
  • omg he just wanted to borrow your laptop because his was broken
  • he looked complete innocently trough the different files
  • smiled over pics you’ve saved from exo
  • but suddenly he clicks on a file and the screen is filled with your naked silhouette
  • “WTF”
  • “Myeon?! Are you okay?!”
  • “WTF NO I MEAN YES I MEAN WHY ARE U NAKED”
  • “what”
  • “ARE YOU A CAM GIRL OR SOMETHING”

LAY

  • the first sound he’s hearing when he’s entering the apartment are moans
  • it was clearly your voice
  • aRE YOU CHEATING ON HIM
  • about to burst into the shared bedroom and ready to fight when he realizes the scenario in front of him
  • you’re in the bed, naked, masturbating and
  • watching a porn
  • this baby would try to stay calm
  • i mean it’s completely normal and ok and why the fuck didn’t you called him
  • hE WOULD HAVE HELPED
  • “ohshitohshitohshit”
  • “YIXING?!”
  • “OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT”

BAEKHYUN

  • "That’s really you?”
  • “Yes Baekhyun”
  • starts giggling like a little child
  • “Whats wrong”
  • “Your naked”
  • he would find it funny as well, like Minseok
  • but also a little bit shocked because you really filmed yourself with your ex whilst having sex
  • “Why do you still have it? I mean… do you… miss him or something?”
  • “What?? Noo! I cleaned my hard drive and found it in an old file, I just wanted to show you then I’ll delete it”
  • “Oh”
  • “Btw he was bad”
  • “Of course he was!  It isn’t me after all!”
  • *sigh*

CHEN

  • Jongdae’s standing behind you and is wide eyeing the screen in front of you
  • what are they doing???
  • is this a circus porn
  • like how can they even stay in this position without breaking their bones
  • you wouldn’t notice him, completely lost in the moment, your eyes fixated of the scenery on the screen
  • when you suddenly start to moan his whole attention would be towards you
  • lowkey turned on from the fact that you’re touching yourself in front of him without even noticing
  • “Are you having fun, Y/N?”
  • “ASDFJKL”
  • “Looks like ;)”

CHANYEOL

  • the fact that he found your browser history filled with porn would made him chuckle
  • your just casually walking into the living room
  • taking a seat next to him on the sofa and leaning your head against his shoulder
  • but he’s not reacting, just staring at the screen
  • what could be so fascinating that he-
  • “SHIT!”
  • he chuckles again with this typical deep ass Chanyeol voice ohgodpls
  • “Kinky”
  • “Chanyeol… I’m… I just-”
  • “Want to try some of them?”
  • “WHAT NO I WAS JUST LOOKING”
  • “Calm down babe, I think it’s actually pretty hot”
  • ok imagine this in my head literally fucked me up rn

D.O

  • "Is this…? It is.”
  • he didn’t liked the fact that he watched another man sleeping with you
  • but holy guacamoly
  • you looked sooo scandalous hot
  • he was speechless
  • you sat next to him, your eyes fixated on his face searching for the smallest reaction
  • suddenly he smiled
  • “God… you look like an angel, Y/N… wait what is he doing with your leg”
  • “Omg Kyungsoo stop I should have never told you about this!”
  • “Are you an acrobat or something”
  • “Gimme the phone now!”
  • “NO I WANT TO WATCH THE FOLLOWING 11 MINUTES”

KAI

  • the fact that you watched porn somehow turned Jongin on
  • it was like reading a sex diary, your browser history was filled with forbidden secrets
  • he liked it
  • ok his face says angel but believe me this man is pure sin
  • can u imagine his dancer hips
  • sry i got carried away
  • so Kai’s casually sitting on the bed, re watching a few porns you watched when suddenly the door to the bathroom opened
  • you stood there in your towel, seeing Jongin on the bed with your laptop
  • “What are you doing there?” you asked nervous
  • when you see his smirk you turn pale
  • “Role play, huh? I think we can do that but with real moaning”

SEHUN

  • you told him that you did a live stream a few years ago
  • he would just sit there, smirking and asking you to show him
  • very turned on seeing you strip on the screen
  • "I can’t believe you were a cam girl”
  • “IT WAS JUST ONE TIME SEHUN AND I REALLY NEEDED THE MONEY”
  • “How long was this stream?”
  • “I dunno… 20 minutes maybe?”
  • “Did you showed your boobs?”
  • “SEHUN”
  • “WHAT I just want to know if it’s worth watching the whole thing”
  • “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU”
Listen my friend, I’ve got to come clean.
You think so highly of me and take my advices to heart but you must know that I’m a fraud.
I don’t know what love looks, tastes, feels like. I have no idea. I pretend I do because it’s the normal thing to do but I think you’ve already figured out that I’m not.
I hope you’ll still like me, but keep that in time when you’re hurting because I wish I knew how to stop it but no one told me how.
—  giulswrites

goooood mornin folks my fuckin appendix is straight up gone now

i saw this thing once abt how most teachers tend to adopt ‘helper children’ who tend to help the teachers with stuff that’s not expected of them (like cleaning after school and stuff) and i like to think that tsuyu has kinda become aizawa’s.  like i dunno, maybe aizawa falls asleep by accident after class so tsuyu cleans off the board and sweeps the classroom for him

anonymous asked:

ah hi i work everyday and i was wondering if you had any suggestions on how i could start integrating working out into my schedule? like how much time/day nd whatnot.. i work from one to eight or nine nd my secondary job is keeping my house clean for my mom. i need Something to do thats mine and for me.

17.   Is it better to work out all your muscles on one day or different muscles on different days?
It generally depends on your schedule. I do recommend giving yourself a few rest days! For someone that has a super busy schedule they may go only 2 to 3 times per week vs someone with a more flexible schedule that can go 4 to 5 times per week. As long as you can hit at LEAST all your muscle groups in 1 week you are golden.. (obviously the more the better)
example of workout plans:
2 days a week: upper body, lower body
3 days a week: push day (chest/triceps) , pull day (back/biceps), leg and abs 
4 days a week: chest/tricep, back/biceps, legs, abs and shoulders
4 days a week: upper body, lower body, upper, lower
4 days a week: lower body, push day, pull day, lower body
the possibilities are endless and are completely up to you

i feel this somewhat answers your question.. but yeah its really dependent on your own schedule.. whatever amount of time you can put aside for your workouts is great.. if u can go for 1 hr great! 2 hours? even better, etc 

ishqbaaz 22.11.17 lb


  • ever since @bengudill​ commented that anika looks like carrie, i can’t stop thinking about it. she does, she really does. makes it look rather morbid. 
    • luckily, anika’s about to get a HAPPY ENDING. GET IT, YOU GUYS? “HAPPY ENDING”? 😉😉😉😏😏😏😏 HEHEHEHE I’M HILARIOUSSSS 😆😆😆😆
  • billu ne phenka toh paanika kaise peeche reh sakti hai???? uska toh haq banta hai! 
  • i can’t help but feel devastated at all the effort it’s going to take cleaning this house. look at the pardeeee behindddd!!!!!! god, those stains are never coming outtttt!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫 #adulthood 
    • also it looks like someone got fucking murdered in here… which considering this is oberoi mansion…. has probably already happened before.
  • daaaaaaaaaaamn, o jaana took on a whole other tune. not sure how i feel about it. it’s kiiiinda creepy???? 
  • out of context screencap: 
    • tell me this doesn’t look like something out a fucking horror movie. it does, it totally does. jesus christ, i’m kinda scaring MYSELF now. 
  • yo man i really feel this red paint was a bad idea. they look like some creepy ass murderer couple whose fetish is killing people and playing in the victim’s blood. like seriously…. this looks creepy as fuck. a different colour wouldn’t have made it look so … dexter-y. 
    • this fuckall music isn’t helping. 
  • HAND SEX HAND SEX HAND SEX!!!!!! 
  • oh thank god the music changed to laal ishq. thank the lorddddddd. AND THE MOOD OF THE SCENE HAS ENTIRELY CHANGED TOO. BEHOLD THE POWER OF BG MUSIC, PPL!!!!!!!!!!! 
  • oh yaaaaaaaaaaaas anika, you get that boy nakey nakey nekkkid! 
  • i can’t help but giggle a little here at how turned on she’s getting by slathering paint on him. like… talk about being a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. 😜😜😜
    • oh well, whatever you’re into, girl. i’m just glad you’re getting some. 

A+ aesthetics wrt to framing and cinematography. 

  • oh god girl don’t get it on your faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace. you’re gonna break out like fucccccccccck. 😩😩😩
    • i’m sorry, but hot husband and orgasms you can score once again in life, but once your skin is fucked, that’s it. one stupid orgasm isn’t worth killing your skin for!!!!!!!!! 😣😣😣😣
  • okay can’t stop giggling at the 80s-movie-style shot of the ~~SEXY LEGS~~~~~~~ 😂😂😂
  • …. are they attempting to clean up the mess by rolling around and using themselves as human sponges???? 😕😕😕
  • ok aesthetics and all theek, did they get beyond first base or not???? coz…. clothes still be on. and there was no suggestive dori opening either. (tellywood signal for sex. dori open = confirmation of 👉🏽👌🏽 👉🏽👌🏽 👉🏽👌🏽 ) I NEED SUGGESTIVE DORI OPENING FOR CONFIRMATION YOOOOOOO
  • YO MAN DID JUST KISSING HER TAKE IT OUTTA BILLU??????!?!!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THERE ANY OF BULBUL’S BOOTI LYING AROUND, COZ UM… LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE 100% RIGHT TO ATTEMPT DRUGGING THIS FOOL. 
    • gosh, how disappointing for anika. poor girl. 
  • “is waale par.”
    • ugh ok this fucker is mad cute. fuck him. no i mean, LITERALLY, ANIKA. 
  • loook how happppppppppy she issssssssss. i’m crying happpy tearssssssss for my giiiiiiiiiirl. 😭😭😭😭😭
  • gosh, who’s at the door though? 
  • OH NO THE FAM’S BACK 😧😧😧😧
  • “yeh koi time hota hai aane ka????”
    “yeh koi time holi ka bhi nahi hai.”

    • hahahahahahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
  • LMAOOOOOOOOOOO ZERO DIALOGUE NEEDED. HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING AMAZINGGGGGGG. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
  • hahahahaha rudra’s satisfied exhale, as if he’s the one who did something. 
  • poor omRu volunteering to clean up their dirty paint-sex mess. height of bro-chaara only. 
  • guh. guess we’re supposed to take it that they did it. coz anika be ~*~*~*~*GLOWING*~*~*~*~*
  • oooop, girls are here to get the deeeeeeets. 
  • again, no dialogue necessary. post-orgasmic glow is a helllllll of a highlighter. it be telling them all they need to know.
  • bulbul looks so tearfully happy at anika’s joy. i’m cryingggggggggg. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I FINALLY GOT LAID YOU GUYS. FINALLY. AFTER ONE YEAR OF SEXUAL TENSION AND SHENANIGANS, YA GIRL FINALLY GOT HERS!!!!!!!!!!” 

  • ugh look at these stupid dorkssssssss holding hands under the table like a buncha teenagers. so cute. 
  • this is where being left handed helps me out! no one can ask me why i’m eating with ulta haath!
    • now to find a boy i don’t despise enough to hold my right hand. this is the hard part. oh well. 
      • *holds a cuteass kitten in right hand* 😸😸😸
  • LMAO RIKARA’S SMIRKS. BESTTTTTTTTTT. 😂😂😂😂
  • lol, shivaay’s going to fucking killlllllllllllll rudra. is ladke ke pait mein kuch bhi nahi rehta. 
  • LMAO GAURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ET TU BRUTUSSSSSSS
      • loving omki rollling his eyes at her. i knew that’s exactly how he’d react to her being silly and I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT 😍😍😍😍
  • omki shomki taking a page out of bade bhaiyya’s book 😏😏😏
  • all the elders are like TF YOU IDIOTS ON???? 
  • gauriiiiiii’s been caught out toooooo. not giggling so much now, are ya, bulbul???? 
  • “mera nahi ho raha na….”
    • hahahahahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂
      • abbe idiot pehle apni harkatein sudhaar. phir tera bhi hoga. 
  • lolololol aniRi laughing while shivKara yell at rudra. UGH ALL MY KIDS ARE BEING EXTRA CUTE TODAY
  • ouff, dadi too. 
  • wow, ok. abhay knows to make AN ENTRANCE. 😐😐😐
    • i guess i should be grateful that pichli baar ki tarah ghar mein bike nahi ghusaaya.  😒😒😒
  • maybe clarify what you’re talking about, abhay, coz every single person in this house has a long list of sins, and no one knows which of those EXACTLY you’re talking about. 
  • chota billu is taking on bada billu. ladke mein dum hai. 😗😗😗
  • shivaay is sooooooo damn easy to provoke. just say “tum oberois…” and he’s foaming at the mouth. 
    • chill billu. like…. enjoy those post-sex endorphins for a bit longer. 
  • wow, rudra getting all high-and-mighty oberoi too. 
  • OUFF KYA SACH YAAAAAAAR KAUNSA SACH AB THOOOOK BHI DEEEE 420 EPISODE HOGAYE “SACH” KE BAARE MEIN SUNTE SUNTE 🙄🙄🙄🙄
  • ok what ghatiya editing, it’s making me dizzy. 
  • oufff abhay, all you saw was tej with a matchstick. how is that fucking proof? you’re such an idiot. 
    • i mean, i’m not doubting that tej has done some super fucked up things, and probably has something to do with this too (realistically), but that’s hella flimsy “PROOF”
  • oh suddenly om is allllllll about the oberoi name. pfffffft. fuck outta here.
  • YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BB-BOY. DROP THAT BOMBBBBBBB!!! 
  • …. oh nooooo, abhay just abandoned svetlana. this is notttttttt gonnaaaa be goooooood. for him. 
  • jethji ka beta. meaningggggggg…. dadaji oberoi’s brother’s son. making abhay second cousin. hmm. 
  • lol why are anika and gauri shocked. they don’t know who the fuck vishal is. 🤔🤔🤔
  • man, they really shoulda cast this one to play a half-brother to shivaay. look how similar they look when they do the simul-turn! 😧😧😧
  • guarantee? the fuck guarantee you want? a dna test? coz those work sooooooooo well in your universe. 
  • on flip side, come the fuck on dadi, no one is someone’s kid just coz they KNOW of their existence. what nonsense logic???? i know of neil armstrong. does that make me his daughter?????? is ghar mein kisi ke bhi paas 2 paise ka dimaag nahi hai. 😒😒😒
  • shakti/tej are so fucking shady. i think i believe vishal, even though i just met him. 
    • i srsly think omkara might be vishal’s baby, with all the emphasis on truth and what not. what if the babies were switched?!!?!?!?!?
  • shivaay looks contrite. that’s a first. 
    • omfg he’s the opposite of angel (from buffy) - having sex AWAKENED his long-repressed soul! lololol enjoy the torment of having a conscience now, billu! 😁😁😁
  • ohnoe, allegations against vishal. he looked so nice and cuddly though.
  • for once, obros seem at a loss of wtf to do. 

  • ouff, anika ki bhaashanbaazi. seems like foaming-at-the-mouth-oberoi-defensiveness is an STD and shivaay’s given it to anika. ugh. 😒😒😒😒😒
  • of course the tape isn’t gonna work. like… OF COURSE IT ISN’T. 

i had suuuch a day yesterday and going home last night was i like…i want to be alone right now and do absolutely nothing but my roommate and i had agreed we’d clean the house together when i got home last night cause we’re hosting friendsgiving tonight. then i got home and not only had she cleaned the house completely, she’d also left me wine and indian take out AND she had fucked off to her boyfriend’s place for the night. i like…am crying thinking of how that was the greatest thing anyone could do. 

anonymous asked:

Are there any monsters that wig you out, the ones you just can't like no matter how you try to see their appeal?

Probably slime monsters - I’m a germaphobe and that just doesn’t feel clean. I’m not scared of the monster, but I’m terrified of being unhygienic!

hey it’s that time of the month when I realise how unhappy I am despite telling y'all otherwise. so first things first, the Boyfriend: am I really in love? I don’t see much in him except that he is really gentle and sweet and I like his physique (not 100% because he leaves hair everywhere and I’m fucking tired of cleaning after him) and he cares for me a lot and he seems in love and I am playing the part of the gf, but there are times when I’d say BYE to him because he has some sexist, homophobic and transphobic attitudes (like most cishet men I guess) and then he only listen to 70s music and I be listening to M.I.A. or Frank Ocean or KPop and he’d call it trash 😑😑 at this point you’d wonder why am I with him? I am two things in life: a martyr and selfish. I am a martyr because he is soooo good he doesn’t deserve his heart broken after all he’s suffered and all his effort in this relationship. then I’m selfish because he takes me to places, buy me things, etc, TAKES ME OUT OF MY CAVE AND MAKES ME EXPERIENCE STUFF. When I come back home for Christmas I’ll miss him but I’ll be able to take a break for myself at last and Think. I don’t know what to do. 2 I still…. haven’t adapted to the city. I blame it in on the shitty university+the shitty degree I decided to do one damned day. I should have done english philology like everyone told me to, because I’d suck at classics lets be honest. I miss Granada a lot. Highkey want to go back and dress in the way I like (bc everytime I suggest changing my looks the bf is like YOU’LL LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN!!!!) and study a lot and maybe find a fucking passion in life and maybe come out as a man??? ,who knows.
3 I haven’t got time to study or read..all day out e Him…I miss the introverted lyf
HEAVEN KNOWS IM MISERABLE NOW.

anonymous asked:

i have anxiety/was yelled at a lot as a child by my (now clean) alcoholic father; today we had a veterans day assembly and a drill sergeant came in to "show us what the military is like." he went into classrooms and made us walk to the auditorium and i cried because of the yelling it was awful

im sorry that sounds really awful to deal with :(

anonymous asked:

How well do medibangs selection tools work? I have a hard time getting clean results in photoshop without a lot of messing with it

i can only assume that the selection tools in medibang are more primitive than what’s available on photoshop owo you have the basic geometric selection tools, lasso, magic wand and selection pen. they work perfectly for simple stuff but some options are limited e.g. no tolerance adjustment for magic wand selection.

i’m not sure what kinda things you need to select, but if you’re having trouble on a sophisticated program like photoshop i don’t think medibang is going to be much of an improvement!

4

mchanzo week day 4 - red/blue

i love the contrasting colour schemes of these two, i think thats one of the reasons i love them as a couple so much
doing big coloured/lined pieces is so difficult in a single day! but im loving the challenge

[commissions are open! | i have a redbubble ]

6

…I feel like there’s a story here.

The album reputation ends with a song called New Year’s Day that I’m really proud of. I was thinking about the concept of New Year’s Eve and I was thinking about how we all really romanize who you kiss at midnight. That is a romantic concept but I was thinking that an even more romantic concept in like a forever kind of way is who’s willing to deal with you on New Year’s Day and give you Advil and clean up the house. So that was the basic inspiration behind the song. It includes two lines that I’d been saving up in my notes for awhile that I’d always wanted to figure out the right place for. Those lines are, “Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you” and “Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere.
—  Taylor introducing New Year’s Day
2

Can you imagine, finally showing your true self to your spouse, your soul mate, and having him not like you?