Don’t know quite what I want to say. I do know, however, that it will be lost down in everyone’s dash and probably not even be seen. Oh, well… I need to write.
There is comfort, sometimes, in knowing that you can share with people that just sort of, kind of know you… people that don’t know your kids or people that won’t gossip what you say to others…
My youngest graduated UCLA with her MLIS (Master’s in Library and Information Studies) last Saturday. She’s going to be an archivist. Her focus is in rare manuscripts and archival studies. She’s crazy good at what she does. But now she needs a ‘real’ job - a job that pays off her share of her student debt and paves a way for her future. She’s crazy good at what she does. I know - I already said that. She had another job interview today - that, if she got the job, would take her to Kansas City, MO. She’s a Southern California girl, born and bred. Her parents are here. Her sisters are here. And, yet, we are willing to let her go wherever her job takes her. We wish she could stay here, but the cost of living is so ridiculous that any job would only cover that and not even put a dent in her student loans. Being in Kansas City or South Dakota (her Monday phone interview) would allow her to live AND put enough away to take care of her loans. She waited three years, working at Starbucks and Panera, between her BS in History and applying to grad school so she could pay off her share of student loans and start with a clean slate. She’s not a debt-kinda person. Good for her. I suppose ( going off on a rabbit trail here) that if she learned anything from her parents, it was that living in debt is not a good thing.
As a parent (me, at least) you take a few things for granted, one being that, for some reason, you never think your kids will leave you. Her two older sisters are married and live locally. The thought that she would leave is a bit hard to grasp while, at the same time, we understand why she would. She has opportunities before her that the other two did not. After a long-term relationship, she is on her own. She’s okay with that and that gives her options that might not be considered were she still in a relationship. We all wish the very best for her but, truth be told, would rather she stay local. It is an emotional tug-of-war any way you look at it.
There’s so much more to the story but I just needed to put this down, I suppose, in a concrete form. None of you have any answers or solutions or maybe even opinions. You don’t know her. You don’t really know me. But at least a few of you will read this. Maybe that’s all I needed. People with no history of our family, no opinions…just someone to indulge me and my need to vent.