but i hope this makes sense to people other than me

Bad Match Part 15

Series Summary: Bucky and the Reader are set up on a date, but things don’t go as well as expected.  

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 3.8k(+)

Warnings: angst, swearing, fluffy, jealous, self-loathing.

A/N: Here we are again!  I had a lot of fun writing this one, I hope you guys like it. Come talk to me about it, please, it’s the best part of writing.

Series Masterlist

Part 1/Part 14/ Part 15/ Part 16 (coming soon).

Previously:

“I’ll make you accept the truth, Y/N. I know, for some twisted reason, your mind doesn’t let you see how things really are, but I’ll show you.” He never took his worshiping eyes from yours while he said the words that you were fighting to not believe.

“Bucky…” you whispered. What he was saying and his gaze became too much and you finally averted your eyes to the floor, struggling to get some air.

You were incapable of taking a step back and your arms slowly dropped to your sides when he cupped your chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting your head to look back at him, leaning even closer to you.

“You’re my mission, doll. The most important one to me. So, no, I don’t plan on abandoning it.”

Part 15

His face kept getting closer and closer and closer…

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The Distraction

This is for @aquivercactus who requested a Dark!Steve Rogers where the reader is innocent.  

A/N:  This can be read more like a prologue since making a good guy a bad guy without going totally OOC usually requires one for me.  Instead of writing one long story I’m splitting it in two.

Warnings: None/dark thoughts (Non-con Smut in the next chapter). 

Pairing: Steve X Reader 

Tags: @thecynicalnerd @marauderice @mac5323 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @negan–is–god @kellyn1604 @roschelesworld @taintedgenre @screeching-pterodactyl-fangirl @purplemuse89 @blondesouthsquad @buckyscrystalqueen @kawaiirepublic @captainemwinchester @xbergiex @bellaballanda @theariel85      


 Don’t move to New York.  It’s dirty.  When you arrived you bleached your tiny apartment from floor to ceiling and kept hand sanitizer on you at all times.  

Don’t move to New York. The people are mean. You weren’t outgoing anyway, it was easy to keep to yourself.  Who cares that you made no friends over the past year? You didn’t even keep in contact with the ones you had from back home.  Your monthly phone calls to your parents turned into monthly e-mails after your latest nephew was born those dwindled too.  They were busy with their newest grandson.  You were never their favorite child.  

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

1) Hey Saz, this is the person from Tink's long-ass 5-parter ask. This is going to be even longer. I'm on anon because of shyness above all things but I am willing to message you off anon if you want me to do so! I saw what you wrote about that ask and I agree.... to the most point. All the 'characteristics' of Destiel that differenciate it from other ships that you listed were actually applicable to some the ships I was talking about, especially Johnlock. -->

–> 2)The other ships, yes, you may be right, but for Johnlock I felt even more wronged intellectually when it crashed to the ground than I think I’ll feel if the same thing happens to Destiel. I’m going to sound like a Johnlock shipping troll, but I’m not, I ran away from the mess of a fandom it became post-season 4. So bear with me. I really can’t explain what my experience was at the time if you aren’t familiar with tjlc and what the pre-season 4 sherlock fandom was like. –>

–>3)But let me assure you that it was extremely alike the spn/destiel fandom right now. I want to point out the similarities of the fandom and the ship but that would basically mean me explaining why Johnlock should have been canon, and I don’t think you are here for that. So let me just point out a few things. By the end of the honest-to-god fanfic-y 3rd season, the GA were taking notice of it as well, to the point where, yes, the show is being called the worst queerbait ever even to this day.

–> 4)It frankly deserves it. And it was 2017…. we thought it was due fucking time. Guess it wasn’t. When looking ay bibro blogs I can’t help but be reminded of Johnlock antis. At least when that was a thing, you know, because you can’t be an anti of something when it turns out you were right. We made fun of them, because how the fuck can you see jealousy at weddings, literally killing for the other the day they meet, –>

–> 5) having something secret to say that they can’t bring themselves to say even after the other’s death, being broken over the other’s death TWO YEARS LATER AND ON THE DAY YOU FUCKING PROPOSE TO YOUR GF, prefering the other over your string of girlfriends, counting the texts a woman sent the other, COMING BACK TO LIFE AFTER LITERALLY FLATLINING BECAUSE THE OTHER IS IN DANGER, and, you know, constantly making both of them have shitty relationships and be unsatisfied romantically…. –>

…. and read it all as platonic? The show literally falls apart if you take away Johnlock… sounds familiar. You know, one of the writers for Sherlock is gay. So I believed in him, after all gay writers won’t queerbait, how could they? (turns out they could.) ……But I digress. I won’t blame you if you just glossed over what I ranted above. Actually some of the reasons I’m still holding out hope for Destiel is 1) How atrocious the last season of Sherlock was, worst than Supernatral at its worst. 2) The sense that everything is coming full circle in this season(which we didn’t get, btw, in even the last season of Sherlock). 3) Misha fucking Collins. And you know, although i heatedly ranted above in response to your response, I did it only because I wanted to justify what I spent near three years on. I didn’t want to leave you thinking that a ship like this didn’t exist before, because in my opinion, it did. So sorry. I was being spiteful. About the ‘Greatest Love Stoty Ever Told’, which was in fact the big fandom tagline for Johnlock as well……. I think I’ll wait and see. If it is endgame, then I agree that it really is the greatest love story ever told. And I also agree that the show seems to be going that way

Hi Nonny, 

So this is all in relation to this post and I think that the easiest way to answer this is to say to anyone still doubting, including nonny, to just read the various replies and reblogs on that post, because the answers are perfect. 

Also nonny I know we have spoken in private already and you said that you were feeling better after reading the responses on that post as well so I won’t go into too much depth here, but I still wanted to post your asks in case there are still people out there feeling the way you do.

This is going to be my opinion on the matter, which, of course, is just that. There are many many people out there who were greatly upset by Sherlock and I feel for you all. Its not fair what happened and what that show put you through. Your feelings and your views on the matter are 100% valid and real and nothing that I say here is trying to contradict that. You saw a love story between those characters. That interpretation, like any interpretation of a text, is real and never let anyone say you were wrong. Johnlock still exists within the text of that show, just because it didn’t end with a kiss or a love confession doesn’t mean that it isn’t a valid reading. 

I started watching Sherlock before I ever got into Supernatural. When it came out in 2010 I LOVED it. My film student lizard brain picked up on the Johnlock subtext pretty much straight away and aside from some very brief thoughts of “ooh that would be a different spin on it” I didn’t pay much more attention. I continued to watch Sherlock second season in 2012 and again I noticed the subtext, but at this point recognised that it was all done for humorous purposes. I never thought they would go there. I didn’t “ship” it because I didn’t even know what “shipping” was at the time let alone thought John and Sherlock were more than friends who happen to get mistaken for a couple. That was the gag. It was what made my very typically straight male young brother giggle like an idiot because apparently being mistaken for gay was funny. (It’s not. I hate those jokes. They don’t work outside a Carry On film and I don’t even like Carry On films).

When season 3 came out in Jan 2014 I side eyed the series because I had had enough of the gay jokes. I thought it was getting weird and could see that there was a beautiful bond between the characters that imo was being twisted for cheap laughs. I pondered on whether this Sherlock was in fact in the closet, Were they trying to tell us that he was secretly gay? I didn’t get it because it was never clear enough to me that this was the case and yet they continued to play around with the concept whilst the character of John is off with his fiance. My brother continued to find the whole thing hilarious. It was never taken seriously. My musings on Sherlocks sexuality were pushed aside because it seemed clear to me that the writers were not taking it seriously.

Then over the summer of 2014 I binge watched 9 seasons of SPN. I struggled with seasons 1 and 2, made it through 3, watched 4 and fell in love with an Angel of the Lord. It took me 10 episodes to figure out Cas was gay. It took me a further 2 seasons of umming and ahhing in my own head to conclude that yes,  Dean was definitely Bisexual. It took until 6x20 to realise that this was legit something in the text and not my imagination. It took until season 8 for me to believe 100% that they were going there. (I wavered a bit on that belief in seasons 9 and 10 but season 11 pulled me back and I haven’t looked back since.)

In the early seasons, 4, 5 and 6, I recognised the patterns used between Dean and Cas were the same used in Sherlock. I re-watched Sherlock at some point in 2015 and remember thinking damn yeah they really were shoving the subtext in our faces a bit. But I still didn’t ship it, even though I was 100% shipping destiel at that point. I again pondered Sherlock’s sexuality, had a brief thought of “I’d like to see that take on the story” but again discarded any thought that it would actually be textual in a show that imo seemed adamant in keeping it all about the humour. If they weren’t going to take this characters sexuality seriously, then the story was never going to seriously be explored. 

See if Destiel had always remained the way it was in seasons 4, 5 and 6, then I wouldn’t have any belief that it was going canon. I would probably still ship it (the sexual tension in season 4 was insane) but the idea that it would go canon would have always been a pipe dream. So many shows use the queer subtext as a source of humour. So many shows tease their characters as queer and use homoeroticism for titillation. It delights my idiot brother to no end. I hate it. I think it desperately needs to stop. I have never ever watched an episode of Sherlock and thought that it was doing anything other than just that. (I didn’t particularly like the 4th season though because nothing made any bloody sense and I think they kind of butchered the characterisations - I did say this would all be my opinion though so please don’t take offence).

You say that the show falls apart if you take away the romantic love story and make it platonic. I guess if I was to watch it again I could try to consider that reading, but my own experience watching seasons 1-3 is certainly not from a romantic view point and it all made sense to me. Season 4 didn’t make sense at all, and by the time that was on I was deep in destiel fandom and frequently writing meta, so I DID see the romantic reading in the text and yet still didn’t understand the story. (Again, I stress this is my opinion and is in no way trying to invalidate your own). However, with Destiel, the last three and a bit seasons narratively don’t work without it. I have tried to watch them and ignore every romantic moment, or hint at a romantic love between them, and in doing so, it confuses the fucking plot. I need to sit down and catalogue all the ways seasons 10 to 13 don’t work without destiel to evidence this but it would be a pretty epic job because there are ALOT. 

I understand that you feel that Johnlock and Destiel are similar ships, but my opinion is that they drastically diverted course from each other when SPN went into its eighth season. Since then, there has been nothing quite like destiel in terms of build up and story structure - unless you start comparing it to the straight ships.

Where we are right now, destiel is deeply ingrained into the narrative of the show, and it is never used as a gag. It is never poked fun of in a way that reduces Dean and Cas’s relationship. Something that I believe Sherlock did right up until its last episode. I also 100% believe that the SPN creators and cast have a much greater respect and love for their fans than the Sherlock writers and cast ever did. (I’m not much of a fan of Bendydick Cucumberpatch and I have never been comfortable with Steve Moffat… dunno why the guy just gives me the creeps (then again so does Bob Singer)). They have been so positive towards Destiel recently that I am constantly stunned whenever new media or PR comes out. I am also of the belief that someone as wonderful as Misha Collins who is a champion for the LGBT community and cares deeply about making the world a better place would never ever involve himself in something that if it didn’t happen, would be considered the biggest queerbait in TV history. Breaking the hearts and severely angering millions of fans all over the world. Misha is a very smart man. He knows exactly how much this means to us and what it will do to us if it doesn’t happen. He doesn’t exactly look worried though. He doesn’t ever look like he is guilty over encouraging this ship? He looks like a fucker who knows whats up and can’t wait til we finally get to be in on the joke so he can tweet about it 24/7.

If destiel doesn’t happen, then Misha, of all people…. well… I’d have to rethink my entire opinion of him… the idea is so unfathomable for me, so impossible, it hurts my head to even consider. Did you ever feel this way about BC or Martin Freeman? 

I just can’t believe that the people behind SPN would do that to us, but the people behind Sherlock? Well it didn’t exactly surprise me when it didn’t go canon. The BBC isn’t exactly known for being progressive. It’s known for playing it safe. If Sherlock was on Channel 4 I reckon they would have gone there. The Channel 4 execs probably would have encouraged it from the start. They would have considered it ‘edgy’. 

I know that the CW isn’t exactly the most progressive network either, but its a young network, with a younger demo compared to the grumpy old pensioners who sit and watch BBC every night and complain that their tax payer money shouldn’t be going towards anything other than gardening shows and Eastenders. Soooo I think that has something to do with it too. The CW has a greater chance of pulling something like this off. 

I’m so so sorry that Sherlock burned you. But don’t give up hope on destiel just yet, the factors are all currently in our favour. No two ships are alike, and in my opinion, Destiel is the motherfucking Symphony of the Seas compared to all others. It’s bigger, better, and hopefully, due for launch in Spring 2018.

My dazzling Rey,

I hope you were not too put-off by my question, earlier today. You seemed quite shocked. A little frightened, even. I don’t blame you. I know we have only been a couple for a few months, and a secret couple at that. It makes perfect sense that talk of marriage would be startling, even in the context of using the wedding as a plan to destroy the First Order.

I got the feeling that you tuned out everything I said after we should get married.  I don’t want to pressure you, but I do want you to make an informed decision. Logically, assassinating Snoke is the most expedient way to take the First Order down, and I am certain that with our combined power, amplified by the artifact, we could destroy him. The problem is this: while Snoke does want me to turn you to the Dark Side, and take you as an apprentice, he flatly refuses to meet with us both at the same time. He will not allow us both into his presence, only one of us at a time. He knows how dangerous we could be together.

What we need is some sort of excuse to make him willing to be in the same room as both of us. And my proposal - pun intended - is the only way I can think of to do that. It’s the one bait that he won’t be able to resist. Snoke LOVES pageantry. He takes this sick pleasure in planning out all the aesthetic details for every major FO ceremony and fundraising banquet. What the banners will look like, what people will wear, what they’ll say, where they’ll stand… He loves micromanaging lavish ritualistic ceremonies, and there is nothing more ceremonially ritualistic than a wedding.

If we had a “wedding,” he will want to involved, or more likely, he’ll take over completely, like the tyrant he is. Either way, he’ll probably be willing to risk having us both in his presence, at the ceremony itself. And then we take him down! He would be distracted by his obsession with elaborate ceremony, and you and I would be together - it would be the perfect time to use the artifact. Snoke would be destroyed. Without him, the First Order would be in disarray, and my mother’s fleet could do the rest.

It doesn’t even have to be a real wedding. I probably should have made that more clear when we spoke earlier. It would just be an act, to save the galaxy! At least for now. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re not ready for. I really don’t… I should have explained better, and that’s exactly why I am writing to you now. In the moment, I think I got a bit carried away by the idea of us openly claiming each other as lifelong companion. Needless to say, nothing else could ever give me such joy.

But, I could sense it, you know. You weren’t completely horrified by my proposal. Startled, maybe, but not disgusted. We belong together. I’ve heard you whisper it in the dark more than once, when you probably thought I was asleep. We belong together…

Anyway, I have enclosed another gift. It’s some frozen dessert, a local delicacy from Bespin. I chose it mainly to show you how chill I am about this wedding idea. Also, it seems to actually have a picture of me unmasked. I know you prefer me that way, so I’ve asked the gift shop to start selling products without my mask. They’ve actually seemed to be making an effort to do so, lately.

As hungry for your love as an exogorth for a passing starship,

Kylo

—————————————————

Credit to Sansacat for pointing me in the direction of the ice cream!

This story can be read in it’s entirety at    http://archiveofourown.org/works/11534406/chapters/25895388

anonymous asked:

I would like to share my thoughts on why I think a kiss may happen between Kylo and Rey in TLJ. This might take a few paragraphs, but I hope it will get the point across. It was said that there will be no central romance in TLJ, BUT that doesn't mean a kiss is impossible. In some action movies, that have no central romance, there has been a kiss between two characters after going through a traumatic or an intense experience/event together. An example I will give is the movie Speed with Keanu

pt 2 Reeves and Sandra Bullock. It’s definitely not a romance movie but I remember when I saw that movie at 9, I told an older relative that they liked each other. And they told me, no they don’t! Who got time for romance in a life and death situation, dealing with a bomb on  a bus, and a terrorist, but I picked up on the subtle undertones of an attraction between the two. Then at end when they thought they were going to die together, but survived, they ended up kissing. Now with Rey & Kylo, I 


pt 3 think the kiss could take place after the horrible torture scene with Rey and Snoke. I think Rey will get insight about Kylo’s story beforehand, but when she finally comes face to face with Snoke, she will finally experience in one day, what Kylo had to deal with his whole entire life. I think she will begin to understand how dangerous and powerful Snoke truly is, and that Kylo had no chance as a vulnerable child. Then when Snoke starts to tourture Rey, that will be the breaking point for 


pt 4. Kylo. He’s already conflicted and starting to question his place with Snoke, but it’s still not enough yet until that moment happens. When he see’s Snoke starts to torture Rey, this scavenger girl he has a connection with and complex feelings for, he’s most likely going to help her. And they’re going to take on the guards together. They’re going to be in an intense life and death situation, and they will fight together and once they escape, most likely their emotions will be running high, 

pt 5 they will be caught up in the moment, and will kiss. I think Rey might kiss Kylo because she might be completely overwhelmed with emotions after that intense experience and seeing Kylo stand up and go against Snoke will leave her emotional and finally understand and sympathize with him. These two abandoned people who wants to find a belonging, but couldn’t find it Luke or Snoke, but will find it in each other. I think after the kiss, Rey will be conflicted though because after regaining her 


pt 6 compsure, she will realize she just kissed Kylo Ren. A man who still did bad things, even though she knows Snoke was a horrible influence in his life since he was a child. She still won’t know what to make of it, and she could probably feel guilty and might keep that moment a secret and won’t tell no one, not even when she finally sees Finn again. But I think in episode 9, their feelings for each other will develop further and finally come to light, and everyone will know. I hope this makes 

pt 7 sense. I’m so sorry it’s so long. I needed to get it out. I’m not trying to get anyone’s hopes up. And I know there’s alot of people who think a kiss in TLJ would be too early, but I feel not for me. It’s still all speculation. There might be no kiss at all, or if there is, it might happen in a totally different way than what I’ve said. I just wanted to give insight on why I think it wouldn’t be ridiculous for a kiss to happen in TLJ. I hope this was somewhat insightful. :) (end)


***

I can very much see this happening. And I for one am one of the more hopeful reylos. I am really wanting that space kiss. But at the same time I am not trying to get my hopes up. But I would seriously love for it to happen this way. It’s beautiful and realistic. 

anonymous asked:

this probably a really naive question coming from someone entering her mid 20s, but can you tell me from your perspective the difference between having a crush and being in love?

I don’t believe in naive/stupid questions, so it’s 100% okay to ask :)

This is how it was for me, so I can’t tell if it applies to other people (also, I’ve been in love for the past 10 years, so I might not accurately remember crushes 😂): crushes were usually fleeting for me, none lasted more than a couple of weeks/months. They usually made me feel giddy and silly. Being in love - it’s fundamentally different for me. I saw myself with my partner years on, and it was something that didn’t make me feel afraid. With it came a sense of safety and assurance. I found myself smiling because of little things. It didn’t come at once, but slowly, over time.

I hope this helps <3 I’m always here if you need to talk *hugs you tightly*

Feelings

Harry Hook x Reader

(Daughter of the Cheshire Cat)

Requested by @crazylikezonkos

Warnings:None


Prompt line:How did I convinced myself that you loved me?


(A/N: Remember request are always open and you don’t necessarily have to use my prompt list. Feel free to use your own if you want. Hope you like 💕)

••••

Being daughter of the Cheshire Cat wasn’t easy. True, you were from Wonderland and things there are mad. Which makes you mad. Back on the Isle, you mainly kept yourself. It’s not worth being around people who don’t care for your well-being. You sat down at the bar of Ursula’s fish and chips restaurant, waiting for your take out bag. Suddenly sensing a dark figure behind you. It had to be no one other than the infamous Harry Hook. The two of you had an flirtatious relationship. More so Harry did all of the flirting. You liked Harry a lot but you knew he would never feel the same. He flirts with tons of girls. Obviously he didn’t want a real relationship.


“Ye know it’s rude to not acknowledge someone, right?” His Scottish accent rolled off his tongue, sending chills down your spine


You brushed it off and turned to face him. Nearly falling down to your knees.


“Hey Hook.” You said blankly


Normally you would have came back with flirty reply but today you weren’t feeling it. No need to make effort.


“I haven’t seen ye around lately. What’s ye been up to?” He brushed your hair lightly with his hook


Pushing the tip of it away, you placed it back by his side. Returning to the bar, you waited for your bag.


“So ye is ignoring me? What brought upon this?”


“Harry look, I’m not in the mood. Please just go flirt with someone else and leave me. I can’t deal you right now or ever. Whatever’s happening, end now. Side note, don’t flirt with anyone if you don’t mean it.” You snapped


The whole restaurant turned to you. You felt the need to disappear. Right before you heard him say this.


“How did I ever convinced myself that you loved me?”


Did he just say what I think he just said? He felt the same way? Your heart jumped for joy as your inside bursted with happiness. Now you felt bad for snapping. But then again, you didn’t know.


“I’ve never felt this way about any girl beside ye. And when ye would flirted back, I thought just maybe you may have felt the same way but obviously not. I’ll leave ye alone for now on.” He stormed out of the restaurant


You had to fix this and quick. You ran after him. Hopefully he hasn’t gotten far. You spotted him down by the water. Harry angrily threw rocks into the ocean, pacing the beach. He caught a glimpse of you approaching and immediately stopped. Nothing but sadness was made out in his eyes. You hated to see him this way.


“Harry, I love you. I guess I was getting tired of the whole flirting game that I wanted something that was real. I didn’t think that you felt the same. I’m sorry Harry.”


A smile danced along his face as in satisfaction. Harry leans in and puts his soft pink lips on yours. You kissed back, wrapping your small hands on his biceps. Just like in the movies, you felt fireworks popping from within inside. Harry pecks your lips over and over again before kissing you passionately. Flirtatious, playful, and romantic. Couldn’t get any better.


Soon the kiss was broken. The two of you were left breathless. Harry’s blues eyes stared down into your (e/c) ones.


“I love ye too.”

HEART OF GOLD

*sun is how you think, moon is how you feel, venus is how you love*

Aries The Velocity. When you’re with her, her heart pumps adrenaline straight into your veins. She is the arms you fall into when the rush becomes too much. You never knew someone with such a hard head could have a heart this soft. She’ll light you on fire until you get used to the burn, until her jarring touch is as soft as feathers. And she will help you up every time, you take her hand and it’s like being in a freefall but it’s okay because you’re not alone. What she want’s deep down is someone who can run wild with her. You lose her the moment you try to control her. Don’t. Just enjoy the ride, for it’s one of a kind.

Taurus The Mystic. She is the vivacity of the living, the one who defies gravity. Her heart floating around her body makes you believe in magic. The kind everyone wants to experience. She pops her gum and tells you to put your money where your mouth is. So you rip your chest open, the blood of your beating heart splattering onto her lips. She cradles you in her arms, your worship inducing a heartfelt laughter that echoes through the vertigo of your final moment. “You did good.” she whispers, and at last you are at peace.

Gemini The Dandelion, her soaring heart tied to a string. She’ll rock you ultra slowly until you feel you could fade away into nothing, and live forever amongst the clouds. She demands you show her everything you have to give, before she even much as gives you a smile. The quest for her heart is for only the brave. She doesn’t mind what people say, the one who she calls hers has to be unyielding. So she won’t feel so liquid all the time.

Cancer The Lighthouse. Her satin heart is safely kept, for the one who will finally be worthy. But for now she will dance, she will dance with every angel until she finds the one with the shy smile and the softest curls. At night she tells the Moon all her secrets, and now she has a secret that makes her bones shiver and her lips tremble. She loves you, I promise. Just ask the Moon.

Leo Her heart is a cup overflowing with all things lovely, filling the hearts of others as easily as she fills her own. The Fountain of Youth. Hope, lust, tenderness. You can’t help but look at her in awe and think, “I am. Because of you.” The fear you try so hard to ignore is because she doesn’t need to prove her worthiness to anyone, you’re worried that someday she won’t need you. But if she loves you, you don’t need to be afraid. She will be with you when the world ends.

Virgo The Goddess. Her heart is a forest, full of life and mystery. She brings my soul to harmony in return for the respect she rightfully deserves. She cares for her world with everything she has, believing in the pure radiance of the noble hearted. Many might mistake her benevolence for weakness. However when she finds a bad seed, let’s just say nature can be a cruel master. After all she is the source of life and will not be exploited by the greedy. But to those who love with an open heart she gifts the vitality of spirit, and the liberation of the metaphysical mind.

Libra Her slow heartbeat echoes as it pulses against your palm, right through your bloodstream. She licks her lips and sways her hips to the rhythm. The Delilah. You cross your heart and close your eyes. “Open.” she whispers, and the cosmos had swallowed the pool table and barflies of the roadside dive. All you hear is her soft giggle and ocean waves crashing in slow motion. “Welcome to Eden.” You look around you, and you notice your blood isn’t vibrating anymore. You ask her how she found this place. She gently shakes her head with a smile on her lips and says, “Darling, you’re inside of me.”

Scorpio The Red Winged Angel, always under my skin. The beat of your heart vibrating through my system and I’m afraid that if you touch me I will shatter to a million pieces. Late at night I dream of finding someone as sensuelle as you. Sometimes I wonder how many hearts you own, even though I can’t quit you. I don’t know what I am addicted to more, your touch or the fact that you could disintegrate the earth from underneath me if you wanted to.

Sagittarius The Honeymoon. The fast moving gal who likes them slow. If you want her heart take her for a night drive. Show her the world through your eyes. Make her feel something she’s never felt before. Free yourself from the malevolent, open your chest and breathe her in. Give her the part of you that makes you human, and she will turn you into something ethereal.  

Capricorn The Empress. Class and a pure heart, and the international woman of mystery. And even though games don’t interest her, that don’t mean she doesn’t know how to play. No one does it like her. It’s almost painful how she works you, heightening all your senses with perfect impulse control. Engage at your own risk, because she will make you miss her more than anyone you’ve ever met. But if you want to love her, she’ll hold you down for life in hazy love daydream.

Aquarius I’ve seen her in my fantasies. The Extraterrestrial. She’ll waltz right into your love sphere like she owns the place, utterly unignorable. And then she’ll smile, like she has no fucking idea. And you wonder if she really doesn’t. She goes around granting all your wishes and you wonder, why she gives you the world but won’t let you feel her heart. And she will never tell you, because feelings are hard for robot girls. She is afraid she’s too cold inside. What she doesn’t realize is she loves enough for the entire universe, she is too busy electrifying other dimensions into existence. One day she’ll come back down to earth and see everyone around her on their knees.

Pisces She is the light that shines through the night. The Clair de Lune. You fall into her plush essence and she lets you, like a bug stuck in her amber heart. And you think how every moment of your life has brought you closer to this, to her. You finally understand the beauty of minimalism. Not every star needs to be possessed. Not every silence has to be filled. The most important things are the ones you can’t see with your eyes. Live for this. For the feeling.

Man Up

by reddit user Pippinacious

When the bookstore at the mall put up its help wanted posters, I jumped at the chance to put in my application. Between being an avid reader who had practically lived amongst the store’s shelves in high school and a broke community college student taking a semester off to save money, it seemed still customer service.

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Cinderella AU

Rated: T

Pairing: Jack/Johnny, aka “Samurai Bravo”

Word Count: 11k~

A/N: This is a gift for the lovely @c2ndy2c1d. She wanted the classic cinderella story but with that samurai bravo twist, so I did my best to create a universe that could house the two of them and would still make sense. It’s a little silly and not too serious so I hope you like it bb <3

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170918 BTS ‘LOVE YOURSELF: Her’ Press Conference - Compilation

- Rap Monster: “LOVE YOURSELF: Her is a series following after ‘Hwa Yang Yeon Hwa’ and ‘WINGS’. This album takes the role of ‘seung’ in ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ and features 11 songs.” (TV Report) (seung: explanation, gi seung jeon gyeol: introduction - explanation - twist - conclusion)

- Rap Monster: “I think this album will become one of our turning points.” (TV Report)

- Jin: “Please love our song ‘DNA’ that contains our DNA.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I was greatly surprised when I heard the news about the number of pre-orders. It was 700,000 for the last album and we were very grateful to our fans and everyone who listened to our album then too. This time we thought we shall grow a little greedier and it would possibly reach 800,000 orders, we were greatly surprised seeing the news. I’m grateful that this many people love us. I think the pre-orders represent the trust and love for our music, I’m really grateful.” (Herald Pop)

- Rap Monster: “‘DNA’ contains our message of reconciliation and unite that we want to throw at the society.” (Mydaily)

- [About the meaning of ‘harmony’] Rap Monster: “I think love is an ability. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love others. I often hear people saying that love is an illusional and vague thing these days. I thought about the method of loving. The time we spend looking into ourselves is getting lesser ad lesser because of smart phones and news media. I consider loving oneself to be the answer to many things. We don’t have the confidence to love ourselves completely, but we want to try and think about that answer. Starting from loving ourselves. That’s how it started. Although we haven’t been able to find that answer yet, we hope we can as we go along with the ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’ series.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- [About the whistle sound] Rap Monster: “I and Jungkook did the whistling together but I don’t know which one they used.” (News Inside)

- [About new goals] Suga: “Whenever we receive this question, we always said that our goal is to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The Hot 100 chart actually requires having many albums sold, having songs streamed a lot and another important thing is radio play. This is not easy at all. We are holding expectation whether it will come true this time, but luckily US radio stations are giving us a lot of attention and select our songs often, so we’re carefully placing hope this time. Our album is being sold in the US this time and so many people are showing expectation and attention for us so we want to enter the Billboard Hot 100 chart this time.” (Newsen)

- Jimin: “I really want us to top the digital music chart when the digital album is released. I hope many people will love all of our songs this time as well as give BTS who always attempt new things a lot of love.” (Newsen)

- ‘DNA’ is a song of an uncommonly seen music structure in K-pop, featuring the foreign trendy EDM pop genre and bold use of beat drop. The song contains the message ‘we are entwined by fate from the beginning, we are one from the DNA’. (Newsen)

- Suga: “BTS members and the company staff often hold meetings together. The album concepts are from our thoughts and the producers’ thoughts merged together. When we first debuted, we each were busy making our own music, but now we combine BTS’ thoughts and the company’s ones and come up with the concepts.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I often have meetings and hang out with the company staff. I talk with the producers, including Bang Shihyuk PD. The company keeps an eye on what we think.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- Rap Monster: “I always want to give good influence socially. Whenever I see people who like us, I feel a sense of responsibility. It can be become their inspiration or be left as good impression to them, but I think even mere appreciation like enjoying listening to our music or feeling our dance to be cool can also give good influence. I’m feeling the responsibility to keep offering good influence.” (Newsen)

- Suga: “Music is an extraordinary act that can moves someone. I hope the world will eventually become a world where many people are happy.” (Maeil Kyungje)

- [About ‘GO Rather Than Worrying’] Suga: “These days the young generation uses words like ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’, and I can’t understand why they use those words that much. We interpreted it from the perspective of BTS (in the song), I hope you would think about why the young generation uses ‘YOLO’ and ‘spendthrift’ while listening.” (Mydaily)

- [About ‘DNA’ music video] Suga: “We emphasized on the fancy impression to portray the feeling of falling in love. I was amazed every time I see the music video filming set, because it was so beautiful. I feel good since the result will come out great.” (Sports Joseon)

- Jin: “‘Best Of Me’ is a great song to listen to with lyrical melodies. This song was mixed by a partner who works together with The Chainsmokers. I hope many people would listen to it.” (Sports Joseon)

- Rap Monster: “There’s a famous performance in which president Obama dropped his mic to wrap up the new year speech. It was one of the performances that hold the meaning ‘My speech was good, right?’. ‘MIC Drop’ is a track connected with it. It features a lot of our swag and ambitions and was inspired by president Obama’s speech.” (Seoul Kyungje)

- [About collaboration with Seo Taiji] V: “He gave us support and told us that it’s our era now. I can truly feel that it’s an honor to be able to perform together with such a legendary senior singer.” (Mydaily)

- Jin: “Seo Taiji-sunbaenim told me that I can call him ‘father’. I was grateful that he used the word ‘Seo Taiji and Sons’.” (Mydaily)

- Suga: “I call him ‘hyungnim’. He’s way younger than my father.” (Mydaily)

- [About why the start of the series is ‘seung’ (explanation) and not ‘gi’ (introduction)] Suga: “When we consider the process of falling in love as ‘gi seung jeon gyeol’, I think the stage where we are the most immersed in love would be ‘seung’, so the album started as ‘seung’. There will come a moment when you understand why ‘seung’ comes out now if you follow our album sequence in the future.” (Mydaily)

- Rap Monster: “I think a lot about where our goal should be. When we first debuted, I couldn’t even think of working together with The Chainsmokers. Performing at the Gymnastics Stadium was our goal before debut, but now all kinds of unimaginable proposals are coming from inside and outside of our company. I’m curious about how far we can go. Our abstract goal is to climb up to the top and leave a milestone in the history like how PSY-sunbaenim did.” (Mydaily, Joynews24)

- Suga: “We followed the path of the senior singers and now we too need to build that path and advance further. I hope we can build better paths with better sides of us.” (Joynews24)

- BTS: “Although figures are important, we want to show good music and good performance.” (Joynews24)

10

Here’s the Soulmate!AU collab @rickandmortygetschwifty and I did together! :) It was so awesome to work on this with you; you’re so amazing <3

Please, read @rickandmortygetschwifty ‘s part of the collab right here, under the cut!! (The comic will make more sense, after you’ve read it) Prepare to weep! The fic is long and heart-wrenchingly beautiful!!


For longer than you’ve known, you never truly understood what a soulmate was.

Your first memory was of your mother hovering over you, inspecting the reddening bruise that was blossoming over your knee. She was looking over at you in disapproval, tutting as she tried to hush your sobs.You couldn’t help the tears that ran down your cheeks as you cradled your leg and begged your mother to make it stop hurting.The pain you felt was unlike anything you experienced before. And so you cried and cried, hoping that your screams would drown out the unpleasant sensations.

Your mother simply picked you up, whispering sweet things into your ear as she bandaged you up.

“Oh, you poor little thing,” she cooed, flicking you playfully on the nose. “Rick, you need to be more careful, or you’ll make your soulmate sad too.

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We Are Winning.

Yesterday, as I reflected on the recent days of Life Under Trump, I came to a realization about our Great Leader: he’s tiring.

I know he’s been tiring since he first started campaigning, but I mean that he, Donald Trump, the 71-year-old grandfather in the White House, is actually becoming tired. He’s played all of his cards, every single one–and he’s starting to have to rely on his old hits.

He’s just not tweeting like he used to. Back during the start of the campaign, he was making promises, attacking everyone he could, and rallying support for new candidates and promising results from new Cabinet members. He would talk about obstruction and wall funding, and eventually he started a war with the NFL.

He tried that again the other day…and it was pathetic. He just made the one tweet, only one comment, where normally he could have three or four or even six show up in one day. Granted, the longer format on Twitter means that he no longer has to use “dot dot dot”, but even that was just another weapon he used to cultivate suspense. Now, that weapon is gone. One tweet is all he gets, and I don’t even know if he has the energy for that.

He’s decided to fight LaVar Ball, of all people, in order to secure a victory that is really just him doing his job–he’s not even fighting for a victory, but for recognition of a victory. Had he let it drop and simply said “To the three young men I freed from a China prison–you’re welcome!”, he could have started a debate and projected confidence, forcing an air of gratitude onto them. Instead, he revealed that he had not been thanked and wanted the recognition…because he’s desperate. He’s not feeling his old pride anymore.

His travel bans have been defeated time and time again. Obamacare lives. Two candidates he supported both lost in humiliating elections, and he can’t send an endorsement to the current battlefield because it would mean endorsing pedophilia. People are turning their eyes back to his sexual assault scandals with a new hunger, sensing vulnerability. The Russia probe is closing in. Advisers and aides are being indicted, and he has already chosen the defense of “they’re really not affiliated with me”–a defense that could easily crumble when someone close to him succumbs. Stephen Bannon is gone. Sebastian Gorka is gone. Kelly won’t let him have the briefings he wants, and even Kelly himself has been questioned. He just got back from Asia, where he met multiple leaders who were smarter and more unchallenged than him, and it made him feel inferior. It’s cold, and he didn’t go golfing–and he knows the next time he goes golfing, the press is going to hound him. If he goes to Mar-a-Lago, the press will be there. They’ll turn it against him. The list goes on and on.

Do you want proof that this is working?

His last weekly address was on October 13th. Over a month ago.

He’s tired. He can’t go on like this. He’s stressed, he’s collapsing. He had a glimmer of hope with the Uranium One thing and the Donna Brazile story on “Crooked Hillary”, but even that little number is getting weaker and weaker–with Hillary simply shrugging and calling him “obsessed” with her.

Because he is. That’s the one political battle he could win, and now he’s staring right down the barrels of two more defeats: the tax plan and the Alabama election.

I’m making no promises, but if both of those turn against him–if the tax plan is shot down in the Senate and Doug Jones becomes a Senator–it could all be over. This could be the end of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if the man has a coronary before his one-year-President-anniversary.

He doesn’t fight. He doesn’t smile. He barely speaks. When’s the last time he held a rally? When is his next rally?

Old Man Donald needs a win. Taxes, Alabama, the border wall, he needs something. But he’s terrified that he’s going to lose them all.

Let’s see to it that he does.

Don’t relent, don’t relax. Push harder. Call your representatives and tell them to vote against the tax bill, campaign for Doug Jones and denounce Roy Moore, don’t bother defending Al Franken or any other ally who is accused of sexual misconduct, keep fighting the battles on Trump’s turf and break down his walls. His armor is cracked–go for the kill.

There’s a Ball?

So, this was a prompt. I have included the ask at the very end this time because I don’t want to give away the spoiler! Another one that was slightly longer than expected. Oh well. 

———————————–

            “Did you hear?” A boy whispered in delight, voice echoing around the now silent corridor. Draco rolled his eyes heavily. What was with immature people being obsessed with gossip? One would think that there would be better things to talk about than mindless shite.

             “Harry Potter is coming back for the Remembrance Ball next month!”

               Draco froze as he fought the urge to demand the boy to spill his sources. It wouldn’t do well to bring himself attention, especially about Potter.

               Excited whispers broke out as they all waited for Slughorn to open his door for class.

               “Where did you hear that?” Smith asked doubtfully. “Someone else brought up Potter at the beginning of the year but it turned out to be false.”

               For once, Draco was rather grateful for the Hufflepuff’s insight. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be a recurring thing.

               “I overheard McGonagall telling Flitwick about it when I was passing by the staffroom.”

               Draco furrowed his brows. If Potter was stopping by for a visit, Granger or Weasley would have acted like it, wouldn’t they? He shot a look towards Granger, who had a book on Modern Goat Conspiracy Theories compared to Anciently Deceased Theories open in one hand and their Potion’s book in the other. Surely, she couldn’t be reading both, right? Weasley had his head resting on Granger’s shoulder and appeared to be asleep. His mouth was open and Draco was pretty sure he saw drool.

               The clang of the door opening had Draco putting this behind him. It was no doubt just gossip.

 ———————————————————-

               “If Potter is coming back for the ball, who do you think will be his date?” Abbott asked as Draco sighed heavily, a few seats away from her in History of Magic.

               “Who says he has to have a date?” Macmillan asked with a scoff. “I’m going stag and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

               Finch-Fletchley snorted loudly. “You’re going stag because everyone you asked turned you down.”

               Draco was incredibly sick of everyone talking about Potter. This was getting out of hand. What was with everyone being obsessed with the savior? Merlin, there had to be better things to talk about.

               “That’s because he is blind to Abbott’s desperate pining after him.” Draco snarked, not bothering to turn around. He was just fed up with the whole conversation.

               There was a stunned silence that filled the room. Macmillan sounded as if he was choking on his own tongue and that was certainly the highlight to Draco’s day.

               “Is—Is Malfoy telling the truth?” Macmillan whispered, sounding awed. As if he hadn’t noticed that the girl had been in love with him for seven years.

               “I—umm.”

              Draco spared a miniscule moment of guilt as the girl sounded positively miserable. But it was for the best. He knew how this would end. And really, what was a little pain as long as it ended in happiness? Well, if they actually lasted as a couple that is. As a realist, he predicted those two would break up after one or two children.

               “Would you like to go to the ball with me?” Macmillan’s tone was scared, which had Draco rolling his eyes.

               “Yes!” Abbott squeaked out far louder than was necessary, causing Draco to nod approvingly.

               And if a small smile also escaped, well, no one had to know.

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“He was lost, Cas. Our last hunt, he almost didn’t make it back and said he saw Billie.”

“He saw Billie?” Castiel parroted. They were both still in the war room in the bunker, the aftermath of recent events still fresh and new in their minds as Sam recounted what happened while Castiel had been “away.” 

“Yeah, and it wasn’t great.” Sam bit his lip. “Cas, When Mom disappeared…when you died. I think it broke him to a point where he couldn’t come back from it and deal with his grief. More than one night he’s had nightmares where I’d have to get him out and it’s always your name that’d he’d scream.”

“Grief is a complex emotion that is difficult to understand. The both of you have suffered with it greatly, but I have passed before.” Castiel paused, cognizant the statement should make no sense to anyone else except for the three of them. “He had been in grief then but had managed to find a way out. What made this time different?”

“I saw your wings, Cas.” A voice interrupted them from the threshold of the war room.

It clicked in Castiel’s head then. Understandable. "Dean.”

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When I was born, my Grampy gave me the nickname “Penny”. Penny is me in my purest, most authentic form. On July 19th 2012, I lost my brother Miyagi to an inoperable brain tumor. He was 26. My brother and I were very close. We were only 2 years apart. I never thought of him as a separate person, but an extension of myself. He was my reflection. In his presence I was confident and always so sure… I was Penny. Since that day I have been incomplete, losing all direction and sense of self. Since that day I have been lost trying to find him… trying to find my way back to my self… back to Penny. I turn to writing as my form of therapy, but it’s never quite enough. I released 2 projects since then, but I wasn’t quite myself. I try to find my brother’s love in other men, but they never can compare. I try to get closer to my brother by doing different drugs, hoping that if I get high enough I can reach him, but they only take me further away. I distract myself with work, which buys me things I wish I could share with him. I distract myself with work, which causes stress I wish he were here to help me with. The presence of my daughter, my siblings, my parents… only make his absence more apparent. And so, I find myself taking trips, trying to escape any person, place or thing that is too familiar. Physical trips by car, by plane… Mental trips with controlled substances… Trips in solitude in hopes that the quiet will bring me and my brother back together. Through out these travels I’ve been keeping a record of my dreams, feelings and experiences in notebooks. I turned these notebooks into a MAP. a Movie (TRIP short film), an Album (TRIP) and a Poetry book (2fish) This map has been helping me navigate through my suffering, uncovering the righteous path that has been carved out before and for me… Helping me identify my pain and my mistakes so that I can move forward and reach my full potential and find the light at the end of the tunnel… My personal “hero’s journey". and although I am not there yet… I know I’m getting closer. This map was made by me, for me… but I feel obligated to share because I know that I am not alone in my suffering. If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that every single person on this planet is suffering. Not a single soul in this world is immune to the pain of losing someone they love. The reality of this life is, at some point we will all lose someone we love. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to be more present in the lives of the people they love. I hope this MAP encourages honesty, empathy and compassion. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their own mistakes, imperfections and fears… because I believe in doing so we can understand each other better and realize we are more alike than different. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their grief and pain because I believe suffering can be alleviated when we understand we are not going through any of it alone. - Jhené Aiko Efuru “Penny” Chilombo

🗺🎒📘
Bruises On Another (part three)

Originally posted by nwetss

Prompt: Steve doesn’t know where they come from, and he isn’t exactly sure why they’re there. All he knows is that his body is littered in bruises, and there’s something different about them. They aren’t just bruises, and they certainly didn’t come from a trip in a step or clumsiness. No, Steve knows there’s more behind the marks that litter his body.

THIS IS A SERIES: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - finale

Pairing: Slow!Burn Steve x Reader, Billy x Reader (it’ll make sense)

Warnings: marks, bruises, pain, physical abuse, etc. I mean no disrespect to anyone or to upset anyone, this story starts off rough but I can say that things will get better.

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

OH! And just to be clear about a few things, as i’ve mentioned (literally right below this) this is a soulmate AU. I don’t write these often so i’m not sure how they exactly work, but the way i’ve written mine is Steve and the reader aren’t just connected through the marks and bruises but almost like spiritually i guess? When they first meet, something like wells within them. And when Steve sees her with Billy, he doesn’t know why, but he almost feels a sort of jealousy and almost wanting to protect the reader. And later on in the story, you’ll see the reader a bit jealous of Steve as well. That’s because they have a connection, they just don’t know it yet.

P.S. This a soulmate AU.

Tag’s List: @slythergirlimagines - @agentwhlskey - @impulsivesuperrobin - @darlingimawriter - @starshininginthedark - @jxhn-mxrphy - @audreysduvxl - @patronuscas - @ninjacookiegirl - @losers-club-imagines-and-stuff - @evelxn-cruz - @lovatoarchives - @justanothermarvelfan - @hey-margot - @draussen-ist-freiheit - @pennywyatt - @ordinarily-weird - @theloveisgoodbadours - @delicrieux - @burgerrroll - @kingham-writes - @suicidesqwads - @i-hate-the-pie-people - @slightly-depressed-idiot - @winter111502 - @chasestudy - @simplyhollander - @jessie9008 - @poppunkdork - @almusanzug - @babyhollands - @x-ximenas - @sleepylunarwolf - @richierichandthelosers - @wearing-a-wormstache - @dare-to-dream-about-1d - @itssociallyawkwardowl - @raised-by-fandoms - @captain—potter - @straight–on-til-morning - @mellowlandrunaway - @torrentmgc - @jacks-star-pupil - @of-outerspace - @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked - @reddie-stenbrough - @mad-ramblings-of-a-fan - @fanficwriteromega - @fandomsandwriting@aj-was-taken - @pinkcalumh - @lomlwentworth - @jimmyisfab 
Want to be featured on the tag’s list? Message me letting me know!
bolded is who I couldn’t tag!


“Y/N! Just the girl I wanted to see!”

You turned around at the sound of a voice, find none other than; “Billy.” You’d met him yesterday in your social class and because you were the new students, your teacher had paired you together. The boy had seemed nice enough when first speaking to him and he definitely didn’t know how to quit, so you weren’t all that surprised to find him by your side right before lunch.

The mullet haired boy reached your side in record time, squeezing past other students in the hallway. You felt yourself flinch from contact as Billy wound his arm around your waist and pressed you against his side. You tried to ignore the pain that grew as he hit a fresh bruise from the night before and when you glanced at him, you hoped he hadn’t noticed your flinch but you could tell by look on his face he had. “I didn’t mean to upset ya’, darlin’.” He said, staring at you with feigned worry; you just didn’t know it at the time.

“No,” you responded softly, shaking your head. “No it’s fine. I’m just… just a little bit jumpy.”

Billy nodded, as if he understood and leaned back as you both made your way through the halls. You tried to ignore the dark looks you received from other girls as you made your way to your locker. From what you’d heard at your two days in Hawkin’s High School, Billy was the new it guy, everybody wanted to be with him or be him. So the looks made sense, you just didn’t understand why Billy was so fascinated with you. 

“Ignore them darlin’, they’ve got nothing on you.” You glanced over at Billy surprised, feeling your cheeks burn red in shock at his comment. As you glanced at the many girls, you didn’t completely agree with his statement. “Don’t look so shocked.”

“No, it’s just-” you said again, shaking your head. You went to say more but found yourself lost in your thoughts and instead glanced back down at the floor. “Okay.” You submitted. You sighed in relief when you reached your locker and Billy stepped away from your side to instead lean against the locker next to yours. You couldn’t help, though, feel his gaze grazing your body the entire time like a predator would look at it’s pray.

You pulled down the sleeves of your sweater, and focused your entire attention on slipping your textbooks into your locker.

“So, you hear about Tina’s party this Friday?”

How could you not? You might not be very social but that’s all you ever heard when walking in the halls. Of course, even though you’d been given a slip, you made no plan of going considering you knew your father would never allow you. Hell, if your father knew that you were speaking to a boy like Billy now… there’d be a huge price to pay. Still you nodded in response to his question, sensing where it’d lead.

“Wanna go?” It seemed Billy didn’t like to wait long when pursuing the girls he showed interest in. 

You paused after that, knowing that your father would say no, you just didn’t know how to tell Billy that. “I-I’m not too sure… My father-” You were cut off by Billy’s hand reaching out and practically petting your cheek; you froze in surprise from the movement, unsure of how to react to the bold move. 

You met Billy’s eyes and found yourself stuck as he smile sultry at you and leaned in closer. With his hand still on your cheek, you found yourself frozen as you found your father’s eyes in Billy’s. You felt yourself grow petrified and hating the way any man or even woman who threatened even the tiniest bit could grow control over you. It made you feel weak and pathetic, but yet you only continued to stare at Billy. “Come on, Y/N.” Billy mumbled, and you found yourself no longer able to hear the loud crowd of kids around you. “I think you’d look cute in a costume, so what do you say?”

You opened your mouth to say something but another’s cut you off; “is there a problem?”

You moved your gaze over to the newcomer and found none of than the familiar pair of brown eyes you’ve been trying to avoid. It seemed that Steve’s presence was enough to get Billy to step away from you, and soon you found the mullet-haired boy standing in front of you, blocking you slightly from Steve’s eyesight. It was then that you noticed the two girls behind Steve, one you recognized as the girl who’d helped you the day before; Nancy.

“Harrington.” Billy greeted and you could just practically hear the smirk forming on his lips. “Nope, no problem here.”

Steve glared at Billy before you found his eyes on you; “Y/N?”

You paused, shocked that he’d even considered an answer from you. Normally everyone did the talking for you, and you weren’t really allowed to speak for yourself. But before you could respond, Billy spoke up; “I said there’s no problem, Harrington. Why don’t you stay out of other people’s businesses.” 

“I’m sure Y/N can answer for herself.”

Suddenly all eyes were on you, including Billy’s and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You met Billy’s gaze and saw your father, so instead of saying what you should’ve of, you mumbled; “i’m fine.”

You missed the way Steve’s gaze fell and his tense shoulder’s slumped. Pressing a hand against his chest, Billy took a step forward; “see? Everything’s fine.” Steve glanced at you one final time, and it seemed like he was going to say more before Nancy stepped up and grabbed his arm. “Steve, let’s just go.” She whispered to him and you found your eyes stuck on her hand on his arm, your brows furrowing. 

Eventually Steve relented and you watched him step away from both you and Billy, now gripping Nancy’s hand. You barely noticed Billy turn back to you, until his hand softly grasped your chin, and brought your attention towards him. “So? What do you say?”

In your mind, you couldn’t help and think about the way Steve had grasped Nancy’s hand and the feeling that burned within you. Without thinking, you nodded; “sounds great.”


Friday reached sooner than you thought it would and before you knew it, it was the night of the party and you hadn’t even mentioned the idea to your father yet. You were sat in your room, and you’d just made dinner for your father. You knew he’d be in his room for the rest of the night and hopefully wouldn’t come and see you at any point, but knowing him he usually didn’t.

You stared down at your attire, the same thing you always wore and wondered why you hadn’t thought this through further. Not only now did you have to sneak out for the night, through your window, you didn’t have a costume either and you knew Billy would question it when he arrived. You’d even told him that day a different address then your actual house so your father wouldn’t see his headlights.

You’d never snuck out before and honestly you were greatly questioning your decision to say yes. You didn’t really have a decision, thinking about it now,but the thought of sneaking out, and not being there if your father was to come into your room greatly scared you. You’d never hear the end of it or never feel the end of it if he were to catch you, especially if he found out a boy came to pick you up.

You bounced your knee in spot from your position on your bed, glancing at the time every few minutes. You were suppose to meet Billy outside your neighbours house at six thirty and it was now six twenty-five, meaning you should probably start heading out. Ignoring the feeling that welled within your stomach, you slowly and quietly opened your bedroom door and glanced out into the hallway. Where, thankfully, you could see the lights from the tv in your father’s bedroom flashing, meaning he was distracted.

You took one final deep breath, closing the door quietly behind you and heading to the window. You slid open your window, ignoring the fear that welled within you and stepped out onto the the roof. You crawled on top, closing the window just before it fully shut and begun crawling out to the edge of the roof. Carefully you swung your body out so you hung by the roof and dropped onto the grass in front of your house. Once you were safe on solid ground, you gazed up into your bedroom to see if the light had turned on or any indication that your father had noticed you leaving, and sighed out in relief when you saw nothing.

Nodding to yourself, you faintly let a smile slip over your lips at the fact that you’d managed to sneak out and not get caught; yet. Making your way through your tiny front yard, you stopped in front of your neighbours just as Billy’s car appeared. You swallowed the lump in your throat, ignoring the voice in the back of your head that told you this was mistake and made your way to his car.

You slipped into the passengers seat and almost immediately noticed the frown on Billy’s lips when he saw your attire. Pulling at your oversized sweater you frowned; “I don’t have a costume.”

You met Billy’s eye and watched him pause in thought for a moment, and thats when you noticed his costume. Billy wore a leather jacket with no shirt underneath the jacket, paired with black jeans. You hated to admit it and even felt ashamed, but he looked good.

“You got a shirt underneath that sweater?” Bill asked, stunning you for moment. Though, eventually you nodded. “Great. Take the sweater off.”

“W-What?”

“The sweater.” He grinned at you, a hint of lust behind his eyes. “Take it off. I’ve got a plan.” You paused once again, unsure of what you should do. If you took off your sweater, Billy was bound to see the marks on your arms but from the look in his eyes, it seemed he was determined and wasn’t going to let you go in the clothes you wore. Sighing, you slowly pulled off your sweater, handing it to Billy as he threw it in the back and reached for something else.

All you wore underneath was white t-shirt and on your legs, you wore black jeans. Crossing your arms across your chest, you tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that welled within you, and waited for Billy to get whatever he was searching for. Just then he threw a dark coloured jean jacket a top of your lap and smirked your way.

You slipped the jacket over top of yourself, it was much too big but it covered your arms and Billy never managed to see the bruises which was plus. Turning to Billy, you felt yourself smile a little as you saw his gaze.

“There. Now we’re matching.”


Part 4?

Let me know below!

anonymous asked:

Excuse me, but... why do you hate when straight woman go to a gay bar? I'm a straight woman and I live in Madrid, and here lot of straight people like going out around the gay area (Chueca). I sometimes go with my boyfriend, with my friends, and sometimes with my gay friends, who are very happy I go out with them in Chueca. For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar. Wouldn't be homophobe if I said, no way I am gonna go to a gay bar/gay area? Sorry for my english.

Hi love. Your English is fine! 

This is a complicated issue, and I will try and speak about it to the best of my ability. First off: if I said I hate when straight women go to gay bars, I was speaking hyperbolically and being reactionary, which is totally my right as a lesbian who seeks safe space the same way any gay man does. But the truth is,  that I don’t SIMPLY hate it, every time, always. I hate the way it changes how gay bars feel to me, and I hate the culture it creates and lends itself to. It’s something I have nuanced and complex feelings about. 

Like, I understand why straight women enjoy going to gay bars. I know often times straight women just want to have a good time and get away from straight men, and as someone who ALSO wants desperately to get away from straight men,  I get how gay bars can provide that space. 

However, many straight women can be super disrespectful to that space because they don’t understand the historical significance of gay bars for gay people. Here are some of the things that are really damaging that I see on the regular. Not all of them are specific things all straight women do at gay bars, but they ARE inevitable affects of the PRESENCE of straight women and straight culture within an LGBTQ space: 

1. straight women sometimes get offended when lesbians hit on them at gay bars, which is absurd because….it’s a gay bar. You’re in our space. I also regularly witness straight women acting particularly disparaging or even DISGUSTED by butch women in gay bars, which really hurts and is so cruel and disrespectful. The amount of times I’ve seen gay men band together with straight women to mock butch culture/appearances is innumerable. 

2. At least in LA, its become such a commonplace thing for LOTS of straight women to go to gay bars, that they out number the amount of lesbians/wlw. First off, this just feels awful and isolating for us, but additionally, it makes lots of wlw so uncomfortable that they don’t feel safe cruising/asking women to dance because the probability of the girl being straight is really high. Can you imagine how lonely, scary, and frustrating this would feel for wlw to go to a bar that is supposed to be FOR THEM and feel afraid and outnumbered by straight women? 

3. Lots of straight women treat gay bars like some wild tourist space.  They get to come to the gay part of town and watch the gays interact in their natural habitat, they get to see crazy wild freaky things like boys in make up and butch girls in plaid and go-go dancers and hot guys making out! How titillating and exciting and funny! Now, I’m not saying you do this, personally, but you have to understand that MANY straight women DO. It feels awful and hurtful to just want to go out and dance and be yourself AWAY from the cruelty and scrutiny of straight people, and end up at a bar where you’re getting watched like a sideshow ANYWAY. 

4. Many straight women bring their boyfriends. For numerous wlw and MANY gay men, straight men are traumatizing. They are our abusers. They’re the last thing we want to see in our safe space. NOTHING makes me feel more unsafe and invaded and shitty at a gay bar than the presence of straight men. And if there are straight women, there are likely going to be straight men, at least eventually.  Now, even aside from them making me feel flat out unsafe an horrible, it’s also just disheartening and irritating to see straight couples taking up space in an LGBTQ environment when I’m literally trying to get away from them! I don’t want to see straight people making out. I don’t to see straight people dancing. I don’t want to see straight people standing by the bar pointing at us. If I wanted all that, I wouldn’t be going to a GAY BAR.  

5. Again, at least in LA, it’s so common for straight women to go to gay bars that straight men will actually go to gay bars with the intention of finding straight women, because they KNOW it’s a place where single women congregate. I kid you not, it’s a pick up artist “trick” to go to gay bars. This means, predatory straight men in LGBTQ spaces, trying to hit on women. This INCLUDES WLW because sometimes they can’t tell the difference or literally don’t care!!! I DO NOT WANT to be around straight men, even the ones who are there with their girlfriends, so I ESPECIALLY don’t want to be around the type of straight guy who is looking for a hook up!  I don’t want to be hit on my straight men, I don’t want my bi friends or my femme friends who came to a gay bar looking for solace and to escape unwanted attention to be hit on or checked out by straight men IN THEIR OWN SPACE!!!

I remember the first time a straight man hit on me at a gay bar, I started dancing with him, close and kind of sexy, because it’s not uncommon for lesbians to dance with gay men like that in a playful way. Then, he started touching me, and I thought it was a little weird but was like “whatever he’s probably gay” and THEN HE KISSED ME and it was like my fucking world came crashing down. I felt so terrified and unsafe and dirty, and when I tried to scramble away and was like “Oh my god I’m gay stop” he literally said, and I will never forget this, “I don’t care. You didn’t a minute ago.” 

Whether or not you realize it, the presence of straight women in LGBTQ spaces leads to the eventual normalization of this type of behavior. Straight people and particularly straight men are ALWAYS coopting space that doesn’t belong to them and making it unsafe for LGBTQ people, who are ostracized outsiders who live in danger everywhere else. If I can’t go to a gay bar to get away from these types of men, where can I go? If my friends can’t go to a gay bar to pick up women, where can they go? 

NOW, you mentioned you were from Spain. I have never been to Spain and have relatively no idea what the gay scene/bar scene is like there. Some of this might not be relevant to you personally, and I’m sensitive to the fact I’m speaking from the experience of someone who grew up clubbing in West Hollywood/LA, so this might not apply to you. It might be different in Spain, and I get that you want to support your gay friend when you go out with him. That makes sense to me, and I know there are ways straight women can be respectful in LGBTQ spaces. 

But please, consider all of this. Also, you said something that really stuck out to me: “ For me, going to a gay bar is like going to any other bar.”

That stings, because for us, going to a gay bar is NOT like going to any other bar. Going to a gay bar is like going home, or it should be. You have to understand we don’t get to feel safe or supported most of the time when we exist in the world. We have to seek out those safe spaces, so when those safe spaces get infiltrated by the people who make the rest of the world unsafe for us, IT HURTS. We don’t want gay bars to be like any other bar, they need to be treated as the very specific, historically significant, cultural phenomenon that they are. It’s not just a rainbow on the wall that makes a gay bar a gay bar. I hope that makes sense. 

Further reading here! 

Mothers’ Weekend

Hello there! Long time, no see (my bad I know) but, here: an Alicia Zimmermann-centric piece as she goes to Parents’ Weekend during Jack’s freshmen year. [focus on Alicia, Jack, and Shitty] 6k


Somewhere, deep in her heart, Alicia Zimmermann knows she is a bad mother.

It started out as a worry, as maybe it does for all new mothers, that she will be a bad mother. That she won’t know what to do with a baby or a toddler that one day she will accidentally drop him or forget to feed him or feed him something he is actually allergic to or maybe she’ll scar him emotionally somehow and she worried but she survived his childhood okay. And then, after he was five or six, she stopped worrying about it. She thought she was doing pretty good. Jack had hockey and loved hockey and, sure, they didn’t have deep emotional talks but she didn’t exactly have any basis of comparison. Television families told her she was doing okay. No teenage boy wanted to have deep talks with his mother. And, look, if Jack didn’t talk to her all that much as he turned 12 and then 13, at least he was still talking to his father. Mostly still about hockey but she… she thought that had counted. Hockey was like French, to her. Another language she could understand but couldn’t quite speak. But Bob could. He was on top of it. Jack was taken care of.

She loved Jack. That was never the problem. The problem was that her love wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t alert her to any of the facts and maybe it even blinded her– She loved her son and her son loved hockey and so she loved hockey too. She loved her son and then her son seemed to love a boy named Kent and they never talked about it but she let Kent come over all the time and she figured they would discuss it at some point. She just… assumed everything was okay. Even after he was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder and given pills. It was always… well, that was a little problem but it’s handled and under control and everything is okay now.

See. Bad mother.

A good mother would have known somehow.

A good mother would have pushed and prodded or sensed it without even having to be told.

A good mother would have paid attention to how hard Jack was on himself. A good mother would have made sure her son had interests outside of hockey. A good mother would have known that Jack’s long silences after losses weren’t normal. A good mother would have preached balance and fostered friendships with different types of people and stopped the fucking hockey.

She didn’t though. Stop the hockey. No, not Alicia Zimmermann. She encouraged it. She went to the games and cheered the loudest and she even loved it a little bit because she thought it brought him joy, like his father. She bought into the vision: Jack playing hockey like Bob, the Zimmermann legacy continued throughout the ages…

God, she even used to tease Jack about how it took his father three years to win a Cup and she was sure Jack could manage it faster than his old man.

A good mother wouldn’t have done that. So, see, she’s always been a bad mother. Even now, now that she’s almost lost him, now that she’s promised to do better, now that she’s finally read all the books and online articles about anxiety and pressure and the danger of sports and hockey culture… now she’s still just as bad. Just for different reasons.

Now she is a bad mother because it’s Saturday afternoon and he’s been at Samwell for almost three months and she does not feel like mothers are supposed to feel in this moment.

She glances around. At the sea of other mothers and fathers crammed onto Samwell’s campus for Parents’ Weekend. They are not nervous. They are excited. Happy. Enthusiastic. Overjoyed to see the teenager they had left just a couple months ago again. To her right is a father almost (but not quite) breaking into a run to give his son a hug. To her left, a mother has burst into tears. Happy tears.

And then there’s her. She’s not excited to see Jack. Well, no. No, it’s not that she’s not excited. She is. She is. (She is. She repeats it once more just to remind herself). She is just…

She is nervous too. More nervous than she is excited.

Keep reading

hello there!! have you been doing well, angel? if not, this is a gentle but firm reminder to get your shit together. but hey, why shouldn’t you be proud of yourself? you have conquered so many years of your life and - no don’t you dare try to be modest, every single tiny achievement matters. + I’m here to tell you that failing is NORMAL. everyone fails at one thing or another but succeed at another. And if you feel that you aren’t successful at anything, then darling you haven’t tried hard enough.
alright alright, before I begin ranting out of the topic, let’s get started.

note: this is a part of the get your shit together masterposts. To view the other articles in this category and to view the topics in this that I’ll be covering in future, go here.


avoiding negative feelings

the biggest reason why I don’t have that many negative thoughts (note that I said “many” and not all. I too have bad days once  in a while) now because I realized that I, and only I, am completely on my side. I’m there for me at all times, throughout my life. And doesn’t it sound stupid to be against the only player on my team?

once i realized that, it become so much easier to work at par with myself and to love myself. I became more patient with myself, started embracing my flaws and loving the person that I was. sounds pretty cringy? that’s only because we don’t talk about these things and we feel they aren’t worth talking about. However if you really want to conquer life, loving yourself is the most important layer in this many layered cheesecake and yes, i like food.

cheat code: so how do avoid negative feelings? the answer lies in realizing your worth and capabilities and being on the same team as your own self.


dealing with negative feelings

now we come to the part when you are having negative feelings. Everyone has bad days and negative feelings but you can deal with ‘em in a better way than feeling low and wasting your entire day. and here’s way number one -

figure out what triggered you. when I have a bad day I sit down and list down what exactly provocated the bad day. these were my reasons -

  • someone said I was being annoying
  • I didn’t get much done that day
  • I felt gross and untidy

then, find solutions to those problems.

  • hey, everyone don’t have to like you. you are proud of yourself and that’s enough.
  • Make a list. Do those things. I don’t care if you’re tired, do those things. If you don’t do them, you’ll feel guilty and that’s never fun.
  • god, just go take a shower again. (taylor, you stink.)

as you see, the problems were really petty and solutions are pretty simple. but remember that these problems aren’t negligible. this method works bc once you figure out solutions to them, you figure out a method how to fight them so that the same problems to affect you again. Now I know that when I feel gross I need to take a shower and not roam around like a stinky animal. See what I mean?

lastly, realize that these things are not worth you losing control of yourself and walking around like a dead zombie #rip.

sometimes I have negative feelings because I feel under confident or not sure about something. when this happens, which leads me to way number two - I have a convo with myself.

ok mate, why do you feel down? um I don’t feel sure about this presentation. what if I screw this up? what if the teacher is like this is so shit?? what if I never get to eat donuts again???

seriously? well, I can assure you that donuts aren’t going extinct. as for this interview, listen child. you have prepared for this shit, you can do it. doN’T freak out and don’t think you can’t ace this. you can, trust me.

talking to myself not only helps calm me down but also gives me a sense of purpose. That I have promised myself to ace this and I cannot let myself down. 


loving yourself

  • understanding why

why should you love yourself?

bc you yourself crave the feeling to be loved. isn’t being in love simply magical? Well, so is being in love with yourself. it is even more magical tbh. this is bc you are with yourself 24/7 and when you start loving yourself you become much more aware of yourself and you have able to work much better since you are able to identify your flaws and strengths. Remember when you used to bitch about that girl on whom every guy had a crush and you none? (same fam #LongLiveTheHobos) Turns out that someone does have a huge crush on you. Love yourself, your brain craves for you.

  • take yourself out on dates

raise your hand if you think dates are great. I agree. They are even better when you go out to a restaurant bc like food is great. it is super important that you take your own self out of dates and not only bc you are hungry but bc a conqueror (yAS THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE) knows the value of taking time off for himself. These are not simply slogging through the weekend and binge watching Netflix, mind you. That’s a huge waste of time, froind. A conqueror makes a date official. cheat code: remember that your dates have to be memorable and most importantly, well earned. Here’s a checklist to make your dates more special.

  • positive energy, check.
  • more smiles and hugs, check.
  • a happy mindset, check.
  • and how about a list of things that you can do for yourself?

the turn a bad day around challenge

here’s the first challenge of the get your shit together series! I introduced this bc readers said that the topics on here were easy to say but harder to carry out.I do agree with that but hey, I never said that getting your shit together would be easy. by completing the challenges you can implement the ideas I’m trying to propagate here and also get a feel of having that particular area under your control.

  • task one: when you are having a bad day, sit down. list down the reasons why it was a bad day and why are you feel down. it can be as simple as not getting enough sleep and feeling grumpy.
  • task two: list down the solutions that you can use to overcome those problems.
  • task three: remind yourself that these petty problems cannot cost you your valuable time and that you are a badass bitch and you can handle everything.
  • task four: make a to-do list. I know you haven’t done no shit today so now is the time to shine. don’t put like a thousand things on the list tho lmao. three - four would do enough for the moment.
  • task five: do those things. seriously, do them.
  • task six: (and this is the nicest one) treat yo'self!! you have literally turned around a bad day and done so much shit! you have successfully conquered this day, a day which would have been spent lamenting and getting nothing done. maybe go treat yourself to some delicious pumpkin pie from a bakery (share with me pls); you really do deserve it!! I’m so proud of you :^)

and that’s it, it’s a wrap! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there (or maybe you just wanna talk about food), feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror :“)