but i had to thank these people who are helping me to stay alive every single day!!!

Bad Intentions (M)

Originally posted by bb-marklee

Part 1 of 2

Rated (M) for mature content, sexual scenes

Vampire Taeyong x Vampire Reader

Genre: college au, jealous vampire Taeyong, smut (in part 2)

Length: 5.6k

Summary: Jung Jaehyun was the epitome of everything you wanted… or so you thought

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Daryl Dixon x Reader – Reunion

Originally posted by failedbitch

Imagine saving Rick, Carl and Michonne when a run goes wrong. You get injured and they take you back with them to the prison where you reunite with your boyfriend Daryl who you haven’t seen ever since the apocalypse started.

Note: Way too long time no see, guys! I’m really sorry, I’ve been working all summer so I didn’t have time to write at all. I’m so glad to be back though! Since I haven’t written in a while I might be a bit „rusty“, but I still hope you enjoy it! 
And as always, this beautiful moving picture does not belong to me.

It all happened so fast. At one point you were just minding your own business trying to find a safe place to crash for the night. You never stayed anywhere longer than you needed -  found something to eat, got a bit of sleep and then back on the road.

Suddenly, the sound of voices coming from not far away made you stop. Someone was in trouble, you thought. Without hesitation you ran into that direction. After all that has happened you promised yourself you won’t let anyone else die if you can prevent it.

The voices were getting louder and louder, that must have meant you’re close. Finally you saw them. Three people - a man, a woman and a boy standing on a car surrounded by walkers. You could tell they were out of ammo since they were only using their knives and a sword.

They were running out of time, you had to act fast.

„Hey, bitches! Come here and have a bite of this fresh meat!“ You shouted in an attempt to distract the walkers as you climbed onto a roof of the nearest car.

You didn’t have a gun, but you had a bow and thankfully also a lot of arrows. You started shooting one after another as they crawled into your direction.

It didn’t take too long to take nearly all of them down especially since your three new friends starting attacking them from behind. You sighed in relief letting your guard down for a second.

„Watch out!“ The man shouted.

Too late. One of the walkers took you by your ankle and pushed you onto the ground. 

„Fuck.“ You growled in pain. That’s what you get for not paying attention for one goddamn second. You tried to reach your bow which you dropped in the fall but it was too far and that dead sucker was already crawling on top of you.

„Oh come on!“ You tried to push his face away with one hand and reach for either your knife or one of your arrows with the other hand but with zero success. Thankfully, you soon didn’t have to worry about it when a blade of a sword came right through the walker’s head.

„Thanks.“ You smiled as you took the woman’s hand. She smiled back and helped you get up.

„Are you okay?“ She asked worriedly once she noticed you can’t fully step onto your right foot.

„Yeah, it didn’t get me. I was only joking when I told them to bite me. Seems like this one took it way too seriously.“ You laughed trying to hide the pain. „I must have just hurt my ankle, I’m gonna be fine. Don’t worry about it.“

„There’s a prison not too far away from here. Me and my people use it as a residence for the time being. We’re gonna take you back with us and get you a proper treatment for that injury. After that you can go, or you can stay if you want. We could use somebody like you.“ The man said as he took you into his arms and carried you into their car.

Once you were all set, he stepped on the gas trying to get you all back as fast as possible. Not just because of your leg but also because it was starting to get dark and they were out for quite a while, the others must have been worried.

„I’m Rick, by the way. This is my son Carl and my friend Michonne. What’s your name?“

„Y/N.“

„I have to ask you a few questions, Y/N, is that okay?“ You saved their lives, which he was grateful for, but this was something he just needed to do.

„Y-yeah, sure, whatever you need to know.“ You nodded as you struggled to adjust your position due to your injury.

„How many walkers have you killed?“

The first question was easy. There was nothing else you hated more than those … things. They ruined your life just when it was finally starting to have some meaning. Killed everyone you loved. Or at least you thought so.

„Each and every single one I could find. They are monsters, they don’t deserve anything better.“

„How many people have you killed?“

This time you hesitated. It was hard for you to talk about it no matter how many days, weeks or months have passed.

„ … Two …“

„Why?“

„ … My mom and brother. They were bit. I just … I couldn’t let them turn.“ Your voice broke with the last sentence. You didn’t want to let them see you cry so you quickly wiped away the tears and took a deep breath to calm yourself down.

„I’m so sorry about that.“ Michonne said holding your tightly. „Is anyone else you know alive?“

„No … at least not that I know of. It was always just me, my mom and my brother … And my boyfriend. But I haven’t seen him since … since all this started. The small chance of him still being alive is probably the only thing that kept me going for this long.“

„I’m sure you’ll find him.“ She tried to comfort you as she stroked her thumb over your hand.

„Yeah, I hope so. Wherever he is – if he’s alive – I just hope he’s not alone. I hope that he found a group of nice people and that he’s happy …“

Michonne could tell how hard it is for you to talk about your loved ones so she tried to change the topic.

„How did you survive this long on your own anyway? You don’t look like … ehm … „

„Like I can fight? Yeah, I can’t, not really. But I can shoot. This baby saved me more than just a couple of times.“ You caressed the top of you bow lightly when you talked about it. It was like your best friend and until now the only ally against the evil in this new world. „It’s more quiet than a gun and better than a knife, I wouldn’t last a day without it.“

All of the sudden the car stopped. You didn’t even notice you were already there. Looking through the window you could see a bunch of people already standing there waiting for their friends to come back safely. They must have been really worried.

Rick opened the door and helped you out of the car. 

„Everyone, this is Y/N, she’ll be staying with us now, we wouldn’t have made it home without her.“

„H-hi“. You almost whispered and waved your hand. Everyone was staring at you. They all seemed liked nice people but you never really liked being the center of attention, so it made you feel a bit uncomfortable. 

Not knowing what to say you looked down shyly when a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts.

„Y/N? … Baby, is that you?“ It was already dark so he couldn’t see you clearly. He slowly made his way closer and closer to take a better look.

„D-Daryl? Oh my god … I can’t believe it!“ If you could walk you’d immediately run into his arms. Tears started running down your cheeks. Ignoring the pain in your ankle, you gathered all your strength and made your way in his direction as fast as you could.

As soon as he heard you voice and realized it’s really you, he ran towards you, pulled you into a tight embrace and buried his head into your chest.

Unable to stop sobbing, you ran your fingers through his hair and stroked his back gently. You needed to feel him. To know that this is real. Not just another one of the dreams you kept having almost every night.

After a while he finally pulled away from the hug only to take your face into his hands kissing you deeply.

You couldn’t see the looks on everyone’s faces but they were all pretty suprised. Daryl never told anyone about you, anyone except Carol. He truly believed you were gone and didn’t trust anyone else enough to tell them about how he lost the only love of his life.

„I really thought I lost ya. I went into your house, there was blood everywhere, I thought … I thought you were gone.“ He confessed while caressing your cheek not letting go of you for one second.

„I’m sorry, I should have left a message or something … I-“ You covered your mouth with your hand trying to stop the sobbing.

„Shh, don’t matter now, the only thing that matters it that you’re alright. You’re here. With me. And I’m  never losing ya again.“ He wrapped his arms around you once again pulling you close against his warm body and whispered into your ear: „I love ya so much, Y/N.“

„I love you too, Daryl.“ You whispered back as you pulled your arms around his neck and kissed his forehead, unable to keep the smile off your face.

You’re My Fish

Request: hi can I ask for Auston Matthews imagine please? where he picks a fight for no reason and then you’re mad so you go to stay at your place after a week you realized it’s Ema’s birthday (his mom) so you go over to help her make cake and stuff during that Ema tell you about how Auston mess up and then he walks in and you guys make up? Thank you so much❤️

A/N: I feel like I say the same thing every time, so I’m just going to say I adore this boy and leave it at that. 

Word Count: 1390

Warnings: Cursing. (Sorry, it’s just who I am as a person.)


“What do you mean, you don’t understand why I’m upset?” Auston asks running his hands through his hair. “I’m upset, no I’m pissed- furious, actually because there are random guys liking your photos on Instagram.”

“It’s public, Auston. Loads of random girls like your photos and you don’t see me getting all bent out of shape about it.” You sigh. Auston is only getting more upset, nothing you say is helping. All because some random guy liked a couple of your photos this morning. One of which was the sunrise and another was the ice before anyone skated on it. “You’re overreacting.”

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Hi there everyone!

This entire week has been a blast, but the time has come for us to close submissions.

We want to extend a heartfelt THANK YOU to all the participants! We couldn’t have done this without you. This event became much larger than we could have ever predicted, making it’s way to all corners of the globe, and we know we had tons of fun with it!

Let’s take a look at some submission totals:

Total (tumblr): 341  ||  Total (Ao3): 66  ||  Total (twitter): 106

Tumblr: Fanart: 228  ||  Fanfic: 99  ||  Graphic: 3  ||  Cosplay: 4  ||  Other: 7

Twitter: Fanart: 76  ||  Fanfic: 23  || Graphic: 1  ||  Cosplay: 2  ||  Other: 4

As you can see, we had quite a few submissions! Thank you everyone! Before we finish closing up the Week, the Moderator Team wanted to share some personal words.

Nathan/@sachiro: The first thing I’d like to express is how truly grateful I am to everyone who participated. It’s been such a joy each and every day to see people challenging themselves and pushing themselves outside of their comfort zones to create new works. I can’t even express how happy I’ve been at seeing every single submission. I applaud the bravery of every participant, and especially those who have never posted anything NSFW before, for coming out of your shells and allowing us to bask in your skills! And to the mods, this Week has been crazy hectic but I’m so thankful for all of you and the efforts you’ve put into making this event a reality. I couldn’t have done it without all of you. See you all next level!!

Seda/@rinsuokah: NSFW Victuuri Week is officially over. It was an amazing and successful event. I had so much fun (and nosebleeds) during the whole event. I want to thank all participants who were spicing up our event with their amazing fanworks. We’re blessed for having such talented people in our fandom. Hope to meet you all during second edition of NSFW Victuuri Week! Much love for you all~

Vicky/@rinmatsuoka: We’ve made it to the end, and it has been one hell of a ride! We can all extend our thanks in words, but it will never amount to how truly grateful we all are for everything our participants have contributed! It’s always such a blessing to see how excited the fandom is to join in events that celebrate the amazing ship that is, Victor and Yuuri. Thank you to all who participated! Be it in contributing, or supporting those who did contribute, and those who supported us in getting the word out! Every single one of you made this event possible! Stay strong my darlings, we’ll be back before you know it and we look forward to seeing all of you again real soon! ♥️

Nad/@oizumi: Hello! Nad is here. I just wanna say thank you to all of you who participate and thank you for making this event alive 😂 and for mods, I love you guys so much (even tho recently I’m not very active and dont contribute much bc life hit me, I’m so sorry….) you guys are the best mod ever!! Once again, THANK U EVERYONE 💖💖

Ally/@yuurinikiforov: It’s been a wild ride, pun intended, but we’ve reached the end. I’m constantly amazed by this fandom and their love and creativity. Honestly, I expected a very small event, but we got so many people participating. It’s truly moved me. I also had the blessing of running our Twitter and, guys, there was so much love spread. We received a few comments from the Japanese fandom complimenting all of you, both on Twitter and Tumblr. I’m honored to help everyone share their talents. We’ll be back before you know it, I promise. Until NEXT LEVEL, keep being amazing.

The Week was far more successful than we ever could have imagined! We’re grateful to each and every one of you who participated and all of you who showed your support for the entries. Parting is sad, but don’t worry - it’s only temporary!

We’re happy to announce our main event, @victuuri-week 2018 dates! We’ll see you all in the run up to the Winter Olympics, January 31st through February 7th! Follow us there for more announcements in the future!

SEE YOU NEXT LEVEL!!!

Trustworthy (pt. 1)

Summary: Being sent to one of your favorite worlds, you are disappointed when it is just as cruel as the world you left. Receiving insults from the company members, you slowly start to close your self off. Can the king fix this?

Pairings: Thorin x Reader

Word Count: 1,945

Warnings: Everyone is a bit OoC; Kind of Cracky; Mentions of Abuse (physical, emotional, and mental) From Parents/Partner

Author’s Note: I will be posting part 2 on Sunday.

Master Lists: Drabbles/Imagines, and Completed Series - Part 2

Originally posted by d-a-black

Requested by: 

     Anon: Can you do a reader insert of a really tall (human or elf) reader being in the company and being teased or made fun of for it

     @pandepirateprincess: Can i get a Thorin and x reader? Maybe a fluff one about tryin to resist falling for him or him trying win over reader cause she was mentally abused and has trust issues?

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january 19

part of the valentines exchange for the @upperclassmennet written for the lovely @aronminyards :) i know your favorite characters are aaron, matt and jean but i’d started writing this and when i saw ur favorite pairing is andreil i just had to do this, hope u like it !!

Neil Josten was not one to make his birthday into a grand affair. In fact, he would have been fine if it weren’t an affair at all. January 19 was just another day; the only thing that made it remotely remarkable was that he’d created Neil Josten today. Neil Josten, a bundle of well-crafted lies and half-truths. He knew he would never be an honest man; he would always have a lie ready at the tip of his tongue, but he was trying. He was trying to become something more than Neil Josten, the boy who came to the Foxes with only one duffel to hold every one of his possessions. So, no, he didn’t exactly consider January 19 to be of any significant importance.

If he had to celebrate a day, he would’ve picked the day he forever said goodbye to Nathaniel Wesninski. When he cut the one identity that tied him directly to the Butcher. When he made Neil Josten a tangible reality rather than an imposter looking for a temporary relief. When he decided, in front of multiple witnesses, the person he was and who he wanted to be. When he made the conscious choice of accepting the family he knew would always be by side, if only he let them be.

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1st Win | Hoseok | (M)

word count: 3.7k

genre: smut + fluff; idol-verse + established relationship

pairing: reader/hoseok

summary: monsta x has just had their first ever win on a music show, and you’re too happy to celebrate that achievement with your boyfriend, who’s a part of said group.

masterlist

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Maybe We Will - Theo Raeken

@justnormalgirlwithbigdreams So sorry for the big delay in posting this imagine! I’ve had a lot of stuff going on for months and had exams! I hope you like this fluffy and sort of smutty Theo imagine you requested! :) xx Thank you!


The wind was violently forcing my hair to fly into my face, my eyes and my mouth, distracting me from the book in my hands, making it virtually impossible to completely concentrate on my reading. I knew it would be easier to just sit inside and do my work, but the truth was I liked sitting outside on the bleachers during lacrosse practice. The fresh air cleared my head, and seeing my friends, Scott, Stiles and Liam practicing gave me a few laughs every now and then. By some miracle, every single time I looked up one of them fell over, or just made an ass of themselves.

I was usually accompanied by Lydia, Kira and Malia, but since Kira joined the team too, it was just the three of us.

And there, as always, stood Theo Raeken, leaning against the railing, acting all “bad-boy”ish.

Every time he was around, Liam and Stiles always sneered at him.

I mean, I never really understood what was wrong with Theo- I didn’t really know him, only what I had been told. He’s bad news, he’s a liar, he’s manipulative, he tried to tear us apart.

I didn’t really understand why they acted as if he had killed someone, like he was a criminal or murderer of some kind- he’s just a kid like the rest of us, right?

But apart from all that, I had simply made up my own mind to stay away from him. Even though what the guys had told me was most likely exaggerated, I knew that there must be some sort of truth at the heart of it, so I played it safe and stayed away.

“What’s on your mind?” Malia asked me with a concerned look on her face.

“Huh?” I snapped out of my daze and turned to my tall friend sitting next to me. “Oh, nothing, sorry. I was just day dreaming.”

“About Liam?” Malia laughed.

“What?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Well, you were staring at him that whole time…” she pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, sorry… I just zoned out.” I laughed.

“You apologised like twice just then. It’s cool.” she laughed with me.

I looked down at the book in my hands, realising I wasn’t going to read any time soon and that I should probably head home and actually do something.

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go home.” I said.

“Ok, well I’ll see you later! Text me, yeah?” Malia responded.

I smiled her way and began walking down the stairs, passing where Theo was before, realising he was gone now.

I reached into my pocket to check the time on my phone, only to feel around the material and realise that it was missing.

“Oh, crap.” I said under my breath.

I realised I must had left it in my locker before I went to the lacrosse field.

I turned myself around and began walking back to the school building, entering through the doors and making my way to my locker.

When I reached my locker, I unlocked it and immediately saw my phone lying in there. It had probably slipped out of my bag.

I grabbed it and closed the door, walking back at a fast pace.

The halls were deserted, silent and empty- seeing as school had finished and the only people that remained were at the lacrosse field… It was quite creepy when I thought about it, but I tried to ignore the eerie atmosphere and continue walking… until I heard a bang from behind me. It sounded like it had come from another hallway. I stopped in my tracks.

I was frozen, waiting to hear if the sound returned, and it did. I rapidly turned around and began to slowly walk in the direction of the noise, trying to convince myself that it was just some people that stayed behind, or even a teacher.

I turned the corner and walked carefully. “Hello?” I called out.

I felt like I was in a horror movie, and this was the scene where the girl that calls out “Hello?” gets killed by the masked murderer. I gulped, hoping that this was all in my head.

“Someone there?” the bang returned and I called out.

Then I heard something scurrying behind me. I turned around immediately.

Then I heard something from the other side again, so I turned to face that instead.

A shadow began emerging from around the next corner, behind some lockers, creeping out slowly…

I began to walk back slowly, because this was no ordinary shadow… it was big… bigger than a person.

I couldn’t help but stare as I walked backwards, curious at what… or who this shadow belonged to.

Then it came out- a giant, black beast.

I froze.

It let out a loud roar that I swear could have sent me flying all the way across the hall into the wall.

I screamed and ran, turning around.

“HELP ME!” I sprinted as fast as my legs could carry me. “SOMEONE, PLEASE!” Then I was knocked off my feet and into the ground, sliding into some lockers.

The beast slowly crept up to me, roaring and growling in my direction.

I tried backing off as much as I could, but it was no use. I was cornered and this thing was going to kill me.

I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them, before something else came into the room, releasing a loud roar from the entrance door.

I lifted my head up to look in the direction of the new sound, as did the beast…

There he was… it was him, Theo Raeken… but his eyes were golden, his face had morphed into something like an animal, he had fangs and he had claws… I stared in astonishment.

Theo ran towards the beast and launched at it, and at this, I once again covered my eyes.

After what felt like hours of roaring, hitting, slamming and fighting, I looked back up.

The room was silent, and the beast was gone. Theo was lying on the floor, lifting himself up, somehow still alive and seemingly in good enough condition to get up and walk over to me.

Theo bent down on his knees and placed a bruised and bleeding hand on my knee. “Are- are you ok, Y/N?” he asked, flinching, most likely from his own pain.

I nodded, not knowing what to say or do. I stared in his eyes, which had now returned to their natural state, as had the rest of him. “I didn’t know you knew my name.” I let out, before I could think.

He giggled weakly. “Of course I do.” he smiled.

“Theo, you just saved me…” I examined the wounds on his body and bruises on his face. I reached up and touched his cheek, gently stroking the dark purple mark on it. “Thank you…” I said.

“It’s no problem.” he smiled.

I looked in his eyes deeply, trying to figure out how the hell they had changed colour only moments ago… “What are you, Theo?” I whispered quietly, but loud enough for him to hear me.

Theo stayed silent and looked down.

Something inside me already knew the answer. From the animal qualities I had witnessed in him, I knew he must be… a werewolf…

“You’re a werewolf…” I said, in realisation. He looked up straight away, his hand squeezing my knee in response. I was right…

“Y/N, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” Stiles came storming in, spotting me and Theo in the corner.

Scott, Liam, Malia, Kira and Lydia followed him in, all staring.

“Get away from her, Theo!” Liam yelled, marching towards Theo, who got up and ran away…

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” I yelled, moving my body, lifting myself up.

“Because he’s dangerous!” Scott yelled back.

“He just saved my life, Scott!” I said. “How could he be dangerous if he kept me away from danger?” I argued.

Scott looked down silently for a moment. “Are you ok, Y/N?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” I crossed my arms. “I’m sorry for yelling…”

“No- it’s ok. I’m glad you’re alright.” Scott smiled.

“We are too, Y/N.” Stiles added in. “All of us.” he walked towards me and threw my arm around his shoulder so he could help me walk out. “Let me take you home.”

_______________________________________________________________

A week had passed since the beast had attacked Theo and I, and I hadn’t been back at school yet.

I had woken up with the intention of going to school, but when I reached the parking lot, I couldn’t bring myself to get out of the car to go to class, so I got out and made my way to the lacrosse field. There was no one there. I simply stood in the middle of the field and just looked around, taking in the fresh air.

I looked back at the bleachers I had always sat on, and at the railing that Theo always leaned on, and to my surprise, he was there at that very moment.

“Theo?” I asked.

“Hey.” he said. I walked towards him, stopping at the bleachers.

He had completely healed- there wasn’t a single scratch or even a bruise…

“How are you?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” I said. “Just not feeling up to going to class.” I laughed, taking a step closer to him. “What about you? You’re completely healed…” I pointed out.

“Yeah, I heal fast…” he laughed.

“Because you’re a werewolf, yeah.” I laughed back, still in disbelief.

“How are you going with all that?” he asked with a sympathetic look.

“It’s crazy. But I’m fine… I’m just glad to be alive after that- thing attacked us.” I said.

Theo stood still, his stare fixed on me. I slid my arms around his waist and embraced him in a hug. “Thank you, again…” I whispered.

Theo’s arms wrapped around me tightly too. I felt his chest rise against mine as he inhaled deeply.

“What were you doing there anyway? How did you find me?” I asked, pulling away slightly.

Theo, looked down with red cheeks.

“What?” I giggled.

“I may have followed you…” he said.

I laughed. “Why would you do that?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” he shrugged. “You intrigue me, I guess.” he smiled.

I looked in his eyes and before I knew what I was doing I had leaned in and placed my lips on his. He pulled me close to him again, sinking further into the kiss.

I felt Theo’s tongue slide in my mouth, grazing against my own as he let out a quiet moan, echoing through my whole body as he released it in my mouth.

Then we heard the sound of voices coming from around the corner. We both pulled away immediately. “It’s coach.” he laughed. “Run!” he took my hand in his and ran us away from the field and into the boys locker room, locking the door.

I observed this and took my chance to continue with what we were doing. I wasn’t usually like this, but something about Theo made me want to just be close to him, touching him…

Before I made a single movement, I stared at Theo, watching his chest rise and fall as he stepped closer to me, lifting a hand to pull a loose strand of hair out of my eyes, tucking it behind my ear gently, never breaking eye contact.

He leaned in and kissed me again, this time more gentle than before. I could feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach, there was a spark within me that ignited my whole being as we kissed, beckoning me to return his kiss with more passion… more feeling.

I slid my hands onto his chest, feeling him as they made their way slowly to Theo’s neck as our lips pressed harder against each other, forcing us to move to a more definite rhythm. His bottom lip was caught between my teeth and I pulled at it gently, earning a sexy giggle from him.

“Shh” I silenced him playfully, in case anyone outside could hear us.

“Sorry, you distracted me from being quiet.” Theo whispered flirtatiously.

“Did I?” I giggled softly and pecked the wolf once more. “How did I distract you, Theo?”

Theo’s arms then made their way to my butt, squeezing it lightly as he spoke. “By doing this.” he answered me, smashing his lips into mine, re-establishing the rhythm we had been moving to only moments before, this time pushing me against a wall. He lifted a hand to rest beside my head, holding him up.

I turned my head, disconnecting our lips for a moment as I began to place light pecks on his wrist, which was conveniently nest to my face.

I moved my lips from his wrist to his neck, and I could feel Theo’s body relaxing against me as he let out a soft moan at the feeling of my lips on his collarbone.

“Y/n, aren’t you afraid that someone will come in?” Theo playfully reminded me that there was the possibility of someone walking in at any time.

I laughed. “Let them watch.” I kissed his lips again.

“I should save your life more often.” He kissed me, speaking between kisses. “Maybe we’ll end up in here again.”

I smiled at the werewolf, speaking before moulding our lips together once more. “Maybe we will anyway.”

This is my traumatic birth story and I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable so pls don’t read if you are sensitive to this stuff but I had to get it out thanks to Yukimura. 

I know no one probably cares or will read this but, man…Yukimura’s life story and current Divine Bride Epilogue really hits home for me personally. I just need to get this out for myself. And my own feelings. 

I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I would have trouble giving birth. I just had this feeling, I can’t explain it. I LOST weight during pregnancy, though my doc said “You’re my star patient! So healthy!” I couldn’t eat. I was thinning out like crazy except for my tummy and felt weak. I ate, MAYBE, a single piece of toast a day and I would probably puke that up. I wish I was exaggerating.  

I know we don’t always know…but I knew. I kept asking my OBGYN questions, “can you do an extra ultrasound” “what about a C-Section? Should I have one?” etc but she would not listen. Always brushed it off. “You won’t have a C-Section it’s very rare.” Because I was thin…I was “healthy.” *rolls eyes* 

When it came time to actually give birth it was terrible. No matter who you are, the pain is terrible. That aside, it took me close to 30 hours, with no sleep, because every few moments I had to keep switching positions because my sons heart rate would drop and the nurses were rushing in to move me into a new position. 

Bless the nurses, by the way. I remember each and every one of them, as they switched shifts. They held my hand, they talked to me and joked with me. When I got a personal card from my favorite one I broke out crying at home. Anyway…

It was a terrible process. When it came “time” to push, it just wasn’t happening. It is mostly a blur but I believe I pushed for 3 hours. 3. Fucking. Hours. ( again, my labor was over 30 hours) I cried. I wanted a fully natural birth but that had slipped from my hands a long time ago. My husband was next to me encouraging me every step of the way. They used the vacuum on my son in a desperate attempt but it only caused more damage. 

Finally, the delivering doctor admitted we were in danger. There was no other option but an emergency C-Section. In a matter of minutes we were whisked away to the operating room. I remember the fear I felt, when they asked my husband to wait outside while they prepped me in the OR. (I have been in the medical field personally and been interested in it since I was very young, wanting to be a doctor and my mother ran a clinic. I did sports medicine for years and i KNOW THE SMELL OF BETADINE.)  I felt so alone and terrified. 

When they finally cut me and began operating I could feel it. I guess they didn’t give me enough drugs but I looked to the anesthesiologist and said “I can feel  their hands digging inside me” (LOL it hurt but whatever I could deal with it) and he upped my dosage. 

They let me see my son for a moment. Less than 5 seconds…..just a glimpse of his blue face….before they took him away from me. I didn’t even get to hold him…Just a flash of his face. My husband and I will never forget the sound of his first cry and that was the greatest sound in the world! 

No one would tell me what was going on. 

“He needs some extra help so we are taking him to the NNICU” 

That was all I got. All WE got. No one would talk to me. No one would tell me what was going on with my baby. 

I got an infection and stayed a week longer in the hospital than was normal, but I don’t care because I got to visit my son in the NNICU. He was in there the whole time, hooked up to many wires and tubes…his little feet were full of poke wounds from getting his blood. I don’t want to go too much into it…

Taking him home was the greatest day of my life. 

And now, he is a healthy and happy boy who LOVES animals of ANY kind, cars, and snuggles. 

I am alive. 

The doctor told me, in the hospital, that he was just TOO large for me. I am small and he was a very large baby. “He got stuck. We got him out to his shoulders and that’s all we could do…there was no other way we could pull him out, he would not fit.” 

He explained to me, that had they not done the emergency C..we both would have died. BOTH of us…And extremely sobering thought. 

My regular OBGYN was not ‘on-call’ during my delivery. Even so. She admitted to me “had we done a 3rd trimester ultrasound I would have seen how much larger he was than what your small frame could handle (:” 

Oh, WOW. like WHAT I FUCKING ASKED FOR. 

????

Gosh, this got long. But either way, it still hits home. Every day I thank my lucky stars that I was born in a time that modern medicine could save us both. I don’t blame Yukimura for being cautious. You should be. Birth is NOT an easy and beautiful process and anyone that has birthed a child will agree. It is SCARY. 

Reading things like that just makes me so grateful. I know we all strive for natural…but I am forever in the debt of the people that helped me along the way and kept me and my son alive. 

I could post pictures of my son hooked up in the NNICU but I have posted pics of him before on my popular blog and been paranoid so I wont. And don’t even get me started on PPD because I felt so terrible not being able to properly give birth. 

Anyway, as much as voltage upsets me sometimes with its bullshit on ‘rape’ etc…I am extremely grateful to have a character that can relate to a rough birth. I would NEVER want my son to feel bad for me passing and him living. EVER. I will give my life a million times over for my child. Hands down. And also seeing my husband being so aware of the dangers at the time and worrying about it made me cry. 

Bless this. Bless this event. I know it is more rare than anything but I am thankful that they gave me a backstory I can connect with. I can’t explain how hard this is to cope with as a mom and I know if Yuki was my son I would just want him to know that he is the only thing that mattered to me. 

And again If he was my husband. I don’t care if I die, though it IS scary, of course. I do my part for my family, I know the risks, and I want them to both live a happy life and smile. 

Dangerous Woman- Part 12

A/N: I actually enjoyed this part….

Warnings: Swearing/Fluff

Summary: You’ve caught the eye of Tony Stark to become the head lawyer for the Avengers. You never expected your life to change but fate has a funny way of turning everything upside down. 

Bucky x Reader 

Part 11/ Masterlist

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

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Here With You: A Feycien Fic

This fic is an alternative look at how Feyre and Lucien might have returned to the Night Court in ACOWAR rather than being flown in by Cassian and Az. I hope it adds an extra layer to their friendship that I know a lot of us feel was missing in ACOWAR.

AO3 Linkage

Summary: Just as the confrontation with Eris is reaching a climax in the Winter Court, Feyre discovers she has enough magic back to winnow her and Lucien to the safety of Velaris where her family waits. But before Feyre reunites with Rhys, she and Lucien share a moment together that could make or break the future of their friendship.

Here With You

All I could feel as my fist met flesh in the snow and I saw the white stained with a spray of brilliant red was the spark of power suddenly thrumming at my fingertips. I whirled to find Lucien staring at me not ten feet away and knew from the widening of his eyes that he felt it too.

Magic.

Before Cassian could protest, I was out of his grip and sprinting until I’d taken hold of Lucien’s worn down tunic and winnowed into the mist. The bright red-hot sun and scent of the sea greeted us as we crashed against the hard cement. Instantly, my back ached. But I felt like I could somehow breathe again.

But Lucien…

“Are you… are you okay?” I breathed, turning my neck just enough to get a look at him. His face was pinched beneath his hands blocking out the sun.

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Doctor Blake Fic: Let These Words Answer

Hello, shiny new fandom! I wasn’t sure I’d have time to write here just now, but then I had a LOT of Jean feelings after 5.05 (didn’t we all…), so here we go! Rated T, 1900 words, canon compliant. Beta thanks to @gabolange, who never fails to make me a better writer. Remaining mistakes, superfluous commas, and stubbornly-held errant sentence constructions are all my own.

Summary: She lets everything else drop away, and it’s only the two of them, alone in this quiet room, with their physical wounds that will heal. She holds his hand, the two of them together, scarred and healing.

On AO3 and beneath the cut.

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Birth and Boodletting: A Feysand Pregnancy: Part Five

I, II, III, IV

A/N: I am actually really proud of this part!!


She could hear it outside the cells. Blood and death and ruin. Cassian and Blake were out there. So was Bay. Nate looked seconds away from bolting, to get to him. Instead, he dug his fingers into the towel, his eyes were near black with barely restrained impulse. Out of his brothers, Nate was the one who was to act first, damn the questions. And he was fighting his impulse to go to Bay. How either of those boys managed to go years without actually being together remained a mystery to her.

“Nate,” she blinked slowly, “Go to Bay.”

“No,” he said tightly. “You need me more.”

“Don’t worry about him, focus on your baby.” Azriel ordered.  “A big one this time.”

Her palms connected with the stone floor. Her chin to her chest. She pushed.

Azriel looked up at her, the sound of crying filled the cell. Biela.

“It’s a girl,” Nate breathed.

She tried to smile. Nate wrapped a towel around her daughter and scooted up to her. Feyre looked down at the baby. Inky Black hair and wickedly bright blue-grey eyes. Biela, she was different. She leaned her head back against the cool stone. She just needed to close her eyes, just for a moment; then she could hold her children.

———–

The sound of drums filled the night sky. Bonfires reached the sky, revelers and females littered around her. She had done Calanmai before. She knelt, ready for the magic to consume her. She had done this twice before, but this time, her nose was enveloped so strongly with the scent of Jasmine and citrus, she almost forgot where she was. But it was gone in an instant.

What the hell just happened?

———-

His sight was starting to come back. He could see outlines and vague movement but it was too slow. And Feyre, she wasn’t moving. His heart was in his throat and his mate was unconscious and-

“Feyre-” Rhys started, moving to his nephew. “Nate take him. Feyre don’t you dare close your eyes.” He moved two fingers to her throat. Her heartbeat was thready. “Az-”

“The bleeding,” Azriel said. “It won’t stop. Nate, you take the twins to your mother and get Amren. Now. Rhys, you help me. She’s going to hemorrhage if we dont stop this now.”

Nate took the babies. “I’ll get Ash.”

“He won’t help,” Azriel said, ripping the skirts from Feyre’s body. “Not after Nesta.”

“I’ll make him,” Nate growled and winnowed away.

“Rhys,” Azriel said, cutting into Feyre’s abdomen. “Can you do this? You are a High Lord. Your healing can keep her alive until either Ash or Amren get here.”

He would move heaven and earth to keep her alive; he would do whatever he had to. “Yes. What do I need to do.”

————–

The rooms were dark besides the candle atop the table and Elain reading. His aunt almost dropped her book. “Nate!” she exclaimed. “What are you-”

He handed her the twins. She blinked before bringing them to her chest.

“Where is Ash?”

“The training ground out back-”

He winnowed.

———

Ash felt his cousin before he saw him. His heart was pounding so fast and his blood pressure was through the roof. He smelled like blood and birth. And fear. Bone deep fear that he had smelled before.

“Nate?” He asked carefully. “What are you-”

Nate gripped his shoulders. “I need you to help Feyre. She’s bleeding out and-”

“I can’t. I can’t-” Not after Nesta, not after the baby. He could barely close his eyes and not see-

Nate clasped both sides of his face. “Yes you can. Feyre is your aunt too. You were willing to die to bring back Nesta. You feel guilt for not being able to save her. Here is your chance to make up for it.”

I-”

A low snarl came from Nate, his cousin gripped his throat, his nails dug into his skin. “I swear on the Cauldron, if the next few words out of your mouth aren’t ‘I will help you’ I will rip out your throat and let your fancy healing magic grow you a new one.” Nate meant every single word, his magic pulling the truth from Nate’s body. Ash’s life outweighed his own fear.

“I will help you.” he choked out. “Take me to her.”

Nate grabbed his arm. “Good choice.”

————-

Bay’s sword went through the male like paper, the blade down to the hilt in flesh. Pulling the blade out, he ached it to another male’s neck.

“Why the fuck are so many attacking?” Bay yelled. “Was there some kind of revolt?”

Cassian ripped out a throat, his fingers sticky with blood. “It was started by Keir.”

Blake punched a male in the nose. Hard enough cartilage ruptured the brain. The male crumpled to the ground. “That fucker is dead when I see him next.”

“He’s locked in the interrogation rooms.” Bay panted. “Your father is going to get information out of him.” Oh no.

Both he and Blake echoed, “This is a diversion.”

Cassian slammed a head against the wall. The sound of the male’s skull cracking filled Bay’s ears. “There is too many too split up and find him. We need to hold the line. We can’t let them get to either the High Lord and Lady or the heirs.”

They were so, so fucked.

————

The High Lord poured his healing magic into her placenta as he had instructed. Azriel had learned a lot about deliveries when he found out Mor was pregnant with Blake; just in case something went wrong. Cauldron, he was glad he knew what was wrong.

Nate winnowed in, pushing Ash forward. “Do it.”

Ash’s throat was red with fingerprints. His son had forced him to come. Leaning down, Ash surveyed Feyre’s body. Her skin was dangerously pale, her bleeding was slowed, thanks to Rhys, but still flowing too fast. She was close to Death.

“Please,” Rhys’s voice cracked. “Please save my mate.”

Ash sucked in a breath, his hand rested on her heart. A bright light glowed beneath Ash’s fingers.

“Please, please, please.” Ash begged under his breath. His eyes were squeezed shut, his breath shallow. “Let me save her.”

The light pulsed, Ash’s nose started to bleed down past his lips. His eyes opened, a bright green, almost glowing, casting a shadow across his cheeks. He coughed and removed his hand from her sternum, his lips were red with blood.

Ash put his fingers to Feyre’s throat and exhaled. “She’s out of the woods. For now.”

Rhys dropped his head into his hands. “Thank the Cauldron.” He looked up to Ash. “Thank you, Ash. Thank you. So much.”

Ash shook his head, the glowing of his eyes starting to dim down. Ash slid back against the wall, his long hair scattered around him. “I saved her,” he breathed. “I saved her.”

Nate’s voice was tight. “What now? We are surrounded and can’t move her right away.”

Rhys’s thumb brushed Feyre’s cheek before standing. “Not for long.”

—————

Blake ran his sword through the male’s throat. Keir was dead. He was going to kill him slowly. He warned the male what would happen if he fucked up. He should have killed him after he broke Nate’s wrist.

Rhys came out of the cells. His finery was covered in blood and dirt. His face was bleeding, his eyes unfocused and his face was a brutal nightmare.

Darkness slammed out from around him, dropping the revolt to their knees, clawing at their throats.

“You just couldn’t help yourselves,” Rhys purred. “You wanted me dead. My mate dead. My children dead.” Rhys’s face hardened, his starry eyes glowed. “You failed.”

Sound cracked around them all, dropping each member of the revolt in a bloodless silence. He shattered each and every one of their minds.

Rhys leaned a hand against the wall, his breath uneasy.

“Keir is gone,” Rhys said. “When we find him. He is going to regret the day he was born.”

———–

Bay slid past Rhys and flew down the hall. He stopped short. “Ash?”

Ash turned to him, his face-

“I’m fine,” Ash said.

“No you’re not!” Bay bellowed. “What the fuck happened?!”

“Feyre was dying,” Nate said quietly. “I went to get Ash.”

“You forced him to heal her?” Ash so much hasn’t healed anyone since he got back from the Dawn Court. He wouldn’t be here voluntarily. 

Nate met his stare. “Yes I did.” He had no room to judge. He forced Tarus to heal Zevakyn in the Blood Rite. But this was Ash and-

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Ash said, wiping blood from his mouth. “Feyre is alive and I’m fine.”

“Shut up, Ash,” Bay snarled. “No you aren’t.”

Bay knelt down, examining Feyre’s face. It was starting to flush with color. Bay pulled off his shirt, covering her with it. It was covered in blood but at least it would cover her.

He looked back up at Ash. “This almost killed you.”

“I know,” he tried to grin. “I was there.”

Bay gripped Ash’s face, “Thank you.”

“You keep touching me like that and you’ll have to buy me dinner. I warn you, I’m not a cheap date. I expect flo-”

Bay snorted and hugged him. “You do something like this again and I will kill you.”

Ash froze before hugging him back. “We both know I’ll be doing something like this again. It’s just who I am.”

He didn’t care. As long as Ash stayed safe and alive, he would be okay. He had lost too many people and losing Ash or Nate, that would kill him.

————-

Cassian put Rhys’s arm around his shoulder and helped him stand upright. His High Lord was on edge and was weak. The Cells sapped so much of his strength from him.

“How’s Feyre?”

Rhys groaned, “She’s okay. Ash saved her. It nearly killed himself to do it, but he saved her.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bay had gone in there before them. He would not be happy with Ash being in this place. Or being near dead.

“Let’s get Feyre and go home,” Cassian said. 

—————–

The female lifted the cloak to cover her face, covering her starry eyes and shifting hair.

It would seem she had made a mistake. She had highly misjudged Cassian and the High Lords abilities. And Blake was not what she expected. She expected the arrogance, the vicious grin. She did not expect the genuine kindness in his features, or the ability to dance or the empathy.

She supposed she had grossly miscalculated her family and acted too soon.

She would not make this mistake again.

———–

Here is the next part!!! I think there is roughly one or two parts left of this. Thank you for reading!! Please, please leave a comment!! XO

"The youth that inherited the Earth"

I really wanted to get some thoughts out before 4x03 airs. Mostly because this line from Abby was really interesting to me for some reason, and, hopefully, I’m about to flesh out what that reason is. 

So in 4x01, Abby and Kane both realise that they are not the generation that will lead their people in the era of life on earth. This is a pretty pivotal moment, considering the adults have always been conducting themselves as Superior to the kids, because Seniority, amirite? The concept isn’t new at all, but let’s delve into why this moment is important. 

First off, it’s important to remember that the conflict between the older and younger generations has been a central theme of the show since S1.

Note Jaha’s response to the argument Bellamy and Clarke are presenting. Every single response made by an adult to something one of the 100 says on this show can easily be characterised with this one sentence – “Thanks, but you don’t fully understand.” (This isn’t always necessarily a bad thing, btw!) 

This is also what makes 1x11 an important (if largely underrated) episode. 

Throughout most of S1, the delinquents spend their time on the ground playing defense. They don’t really taking any steps forward for themselves as a group. Really what they’re doing is just hoping and waiting for the day the rest of the Ark comes down to save them, for the adults to take the burden of their own survival off their shoulders.

Witnessing the crash of the Exodus ship (1x10) changes that for good.

(Also interesting that all throughout 1x11, the delinquents are gearing up to fight back, building some of their own agency as a group, while back on the Ark, the adults are struggling just to stay alive. Almost a role reversal for the two groups.)

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Lost Angel

A/N: I honestly hate myself for this! I cried my eyes out, even imagining this hurt so much! Enjoy and leave your comments behind! I may do a little bonus part! Depends on you guys! Picture is not mine!


 I slam the door behind me as I enter my bedroom, leaning against it. My body feels numb and I have no strength left in me anymore. My eyes are red and swollen from the uncountable tears I’ve shared no long time ago and all I do feel is pain. An unimaginable pain that kills me from the inside. An unimaginable pain that stabs me like thousand knives. An unimaginable pain that tears me apart. My legs no longer can hold me steady and I slid down the door, wrapping my arms around them and starting to sob again. How can my day end like this?

My happiest night turned out to be my worst nightmare. I still cannot process everything that happened in the last few hours. Everything went so fast and I couldn’t prevent it from happening. I have struggled with all my might but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to protect him. I wasn’t strong enough to keep him safe. I have literally failed.

Why? Is all I can think about. Why did it happen? Why did I have to lose him? Why? Why? Why?

My throat begins to ache as I scream out this question over and over again. Over and over again until I cannot handle it anymore and my vocal cords feel sore. I weigh my body back and forth, back and forth, trying to calm down but I can’t. The pain, oh the pain in my chest is too heavy. I feel like I’m dying. I feel like someone knocked the air out of my lungs. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, stomping on it in front of my eyes.

I want him back, just want him back. His kiss that he gave me for the last time still lingers on my lips. The feeling of his arms wrapping around my waist is still present. His beautiful scent, I can smell it like he’s right next to me. But he isn’t, not anymore. I will never see him again.

I will never have the chance to kiss him again. To feel him and to talk to him all day long. All these chances are taken away from me. No more hugs, no more late night calls, no more “I love you’s” escaping from his beautiful lips. If I had known what the night would turn into, I would have never agreed to go to this fucking party.

The darkness of my room is a perfect contrast to what I feel now. Empty. My other half is gone, leaving me alone with emptiness and a broken heart.

Still sobbing and choking, I tug at my hair. I try to erase the memory from this night, but I fail. That moment, that horrible moment is burnt deep in the back of my head. I think it’s my fault even though I know it’s not. I take the whole responsibility of what happened this night even though I shouldn’t. Because I had no control over what happened.  As I open my eyes, I can see it again, live in front of me. His motionless body.

“No!” I shake my head heavily. “No! No!” I want these images to leave my mind and never come back again. I never want to be reminded of the actions of this night. Never.

“Marcel…” I whimper out. “Please come back to me… please baby…”

-Few hours ago-

“Look at the stars. They’re shining very bright tonight, don’t you think?” Marcel pointed to the sky. We were strolling over the huge football field of our school, enjoying each other’s presence. His hand felt warm in mine as we walked around.

I looked up, staring at the stars that decorated the dark sky, shining like little diamonds. The wind lightly blew at our faces and the atmosphere fitted perfectly to the moment I was able to spend with Marcel.

“They’re beautiful.” I commented.

“Just like you, sweetheart.” He answered, kissing my temple.

“Aww, stop Marcel.” I pushed him gently away, my cheeks turning red from his compliment.

“But it’s true!” He laughed and pushed me back against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my face nestled into the crook of his neck. If you’d asked me, we could have stayed there all night long, in the middle of the huge football field, like this. Being in each other’s arms. I felt his strong heart beat against my chest. A wonderful sound that always calmed me down when I had to deal with anxiety or stress. My fingers wandered up his neck, playing with the tiny curls that he couldn’t treat with hair gel.

A pleased hum came out from his mouth. “Do you want to go back to the party?” He asked.

I shook my head no, rather spending some time with my boyfriend where nobody could disturb us. Also, I had no desire to meet all those people who had fun with making my Marcel’s life a living hell.

A few of them were supposed to be my best friends and I felt disgusted that I once hung out with them. I belonged to the famous students in our school but traded that label against going out with Marcel. And I didn’t even care. I didn’t care for fame. I didn’t care if the other’s described me as the nerd’s girlfriend. I was totally content with that name and I couldn’t complain about it.

“Come on, let’s take a seat.” Marcel suggested, leading us to the benches. As we sat down, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, keeping me warm at the same time. I’ve already gone out with many but no one ever made me feel like Marcel did. Special.

He treated me the way I need to be treated, with care, respect and love. Not even my ex Jason, also one of the famous boys in school, managed to give me those things. We have been dating, yeah, but I think for him it was more about being the hottest couple in the entire school. He never gave me the feeling that he was really interested in me. I think worked more for our relationship than he did.

“I can’t wait to graduate.” I said, leaning on his shoulder. In a few months, we would finish school. I couldn’t wait for it any longer. Marcel and I decided to move in together and to study in the same university. I was so ready to leave everything of this life behind me and to start a new chapter. I was looking forward for our common future. One day, I would marry him and we would have lots of children playing in the back yard of our huge house. Just the thought of it let my heart doing flips. A smile crept its way on my lips and Marcel noticed.

“What are you thinking about?” He inquired, giving me a loving kiss on my head. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his sweet gesture.

“I’m just imagining our coming future. You and me as a married couple with children. I’m really looking forward to that moment.”

“Oh my pretty angel.” Marcel said. “I can’t wait for it too. If you ask me, I would want us to marry and having babies now but we’re too young. First, we have to concentrate on our career. And when the times there and we both feel ready for it, I will go down on my knees and ask you to marry me. It’ll be special, I promise.”

“Marcel…” I whispered, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. Sometimes, he made me so emotional that I couldn’t help but tear up about the promises that he makes me.

“Don’t cry my, love.” He responded, wiping away the single tear that escaped my eye.

“I love you so much, Marcel.” I mumbled, bending forward to capture his lips with mine.

“I love you too, my angel.” He murmured before our lips met to a passionate kiss.

Thousand butterflies erupted in my stomach and I felt tingles running through my entire body, every single part of me felt alive. Words could not describe how much love I felt for this young man in my arms. How much I admired and adored him. He was my everything. The air for my lungs. The reason why I woke up every day and went through life. The reason for my smile. I would never be able to love somebody else as much as I loved Marcel.

As we pulled back, a genuine smile decorated our soft lips.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked and I nodded. We stood up, his body pressed to my side as we walked along the whole field to the gate.

And that’s the moment where the nightmare began.

We noticed someone shouting in the middle of the night, probably some drunk students from school. There was a party taking place and everyone was invited. We saw them coming towards us. My nails dug into Marcel’s arm, an uneasy feeling was overwhelming me.

And as I realized that it was Jason and two of his friends, I felt more insecure. Normally, I wasn’t afraid of Jason but when he was drunk, he was someone else.

“Look who we have here!” Jason slurred, he was completely drunk. “(Y/N) and Marcel! What a lovely surprise! Haven’t expected you guys to be here! What were you doing?”

His two friends laughed and I rolled my eyes, clearly had no desire for his stupid behavior.

“Hey Jason.” Marcel said, standing in front of me like a shield and trying to protect me from my ex boyfriend. “We were about to go.” We tried to pass the three wasted boys however Jason pushed us back.

“But we just came!” He whined. “Why don’t you guys stay here and we have a little bit fun, huh?” His eyes wandered down my body, licking his lips. I felt disgusted and uneasy under his gaze. Marcel held me closer to himself.

“No thank you.” He spat.”We are going now.” I admired Marcel’s braveness. I was ashamed that I couldn’t say a single word.

Jason’s eyes turned into a darker shade and it scared me. He still couldn’t bear the fact that I let him down for Marcel. His stupid big ego didn’t understand and he refused to let it go and move on. Even though he knew I had another boyfriend he still chased after me. I knew he wanted a pay back. He wanted his revenge. And now, his veins filled with alcohol he made a dangerous appearance.

I felt a firm grip on my wrist, pulling me away from Marcel. “You can go, Nerd. We will have fun without you, right (Y/N)?” Jason growled.

“Let me go, Jason!” I ordered, trying to get rid of his grab. But he refused to take his hand off of me.

“Leave my girlfriend alone!” Marcel interfered, pushing Jason hardly away from me. Jason stumbled back, almost falling to the ground (he was that drunk), but managed to keep his balance.

“Look at that!” Jason laughed. “The nerd finally showing his balls! Very cute.”

“Stop it, Jason!” I shouted. I wanted to prevent a fight between both sides and just go home as soon as possible.

“What?” Jason laughed. It was obvious that he found it amusing.”C’mon (Y/N), you know I’m better than he is and he’ll ever be. Come with me and I will make you feel good.”

“It’s not the way you treat a woman, you asshole.”  Marcel said, anger was boiling in his veins I could tell.

“What did you just say?” Jason shouted, triggered by the word.

“Asshole. You’re an asshole. That’s what I’ve said. You’re sick, Jason. You have no respect for woman or for anyone else. You just care about yourself! And you shall be true man? I feel sorry for you!”

And that was a moment for Jason to explode. No one was ever allowed to insult or underestimate his masculinity. “You’re going to pay for this, you fucking wanker!”

He punched Marcel on his nose, making him fall to the ground.

“Marcel!” I screamed, wanting to help but I was held back by one of Jason’s friends. He held me tight so I couldn’t escape out of his arms.

I had to watch how Jason and his other friend began to beat the shit out of my boyfriend. They wouldn’t stop kicking him. “Stop!” I cried. “Please stop!” I couldn’t bear to see him getting hurt. Tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my cheeks, and no matter how much I struggled to get to my boyfriend, it didn’t worked.

One of them hit Marcel on his chest and he let out a suffocated sound. It was an agonizing sound in my ears. Marcel had struggles to breathe. His upper body lifted and fell slowly. And it hit me. Marcel had a heart issue. They would kill him if they didn’t stop now. “Jason! Please stop! Stop! You’re going to kill him! Please stop!” I begged and begged and begged but they ignored me totally.

“That happens when you mess with me!” Jason grunted, keeping hitting on my boyfriend. Marcel tried to fend off the kicks but I knew that he became weaker and weaker. His moans and groans burnt themselves into my mind.

Jason hit his chest again, so hard that Marcel screamed in pain. “Jason! Stop! Please, I’ll do what you want, please!” I would do anything he wanted me to. He just should release my Marcel.

As the two guys kicked him for the very last time, one of the kicks hit his chest right were his heart was, Marcel’s eyes met mine and I screamed so loud that probably the whole world heard me. He stopped moving, laying there motionless.

As Jason and his friends realized that Marcel wasn’t moving anymore, they fled. The boy, who held me back the entire time, pushed me to the ground and run away. I landed hard on my knees, tears streaming uncontrollably down my cheeks and I crawled on all fours to Marcel.

“No… No.. no no no.” I sobbed. His beautiful face was covered in blood and bruises. His glasses were broken. He looked terrible. “Marcel…” I whimpered, shaking his body. My fingers went to his pulse, checking it. I couldn’t find it. It wasn’t there anymore. Shock went through my body. I checked it again but I didn’t feel it. “No…” I didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t be. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t be dead.

“No, Marcel. Don’t do this to me, please!” I tried to revive him, pushing on his chest, checking up his pulse. I never received a respond. No matter how much I tried. “Don’t do this to me, Marcel. Don’t die on me! Don’t die on me! Come on! Please!”

I was a crying mess, not wanting to believe that I’ve lost the love of my life. I watched him die, taking his last breath in the worst way ever. “Marcel, baby, don’t do this to me! Don’t die on me baby, please!” I kissed his forehead. His cheeks. His lips. Hoping he would open his mesmerizing green eyes again. “You promised Marcel, we were going to marry! You wanted to propose to me one day, asking me to be your wife. You can’t let this go! Don’t leave me alone, my love, I’m begging you!” I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my neck wetting his soft skin. “Marcel… What am I going to do without you?! Baby, you can’t die, you can’t leave me alone! Wake up please!” I screamed over and over again. “Please!”

As much as it hurt, I knew he would never come back to me again. My baby, my Marcel was an angel now.

-Present-

“I love you… I love you so much, Marcel.” I sobbed, staining my pillow with my tears. It hurt. It hurt so fucking damn much. Even lying in my bed hurt. There have been so many memories in here and I felt trapped in my own bedroom. Without him, living made no sense anymore. Without him, living was not worth it. Without him, I will never find love again.

It’s 330 in the morning and i’m sitting on the roof of my guesthouse 3500m above sea level with a perfect view of the milky way above the himalayas.
The cold stings my face and fingers. My feet are going numb from sitting in the same position for so long. I’ve been up since 1am running back and forth from the toilet and the pain in my stomach won’t go away, the familiar gurgle telling me I might need to make a quick exit soon.
Every 30 seconds I press the shutter on my camera, capturing a time-lapse.
Of course I’d prefer to be warm in bed, i’m so tired my eyes are itchy and every time I blink I have to shake myself awake.
It’s not so much that I WANT to be up here in the cold taking photos.
It’s an innate need.
I press the shutter again, lay back and stare up at the stars. I feel so alive. I’m doing it right.

The sun starts to rise and i force myself back to bed before I freeze. I lay in bed shivering, cocooned under my blankets, my breath still frosting up the air in front of me. It takes me forever to warm up, my fingers are still numb and I lay there for what feels like an hour before I finally feel human again.
The pain in my stomach is still there, warning me.
But right now, in this moment, I feel better about life than I have all year.

When you’re hiking at altitude you need a rest day to help acclimatise, so you don’t join the many who get flown off the mountain.

We rested for 2 days in Manang, days full of snow, snowball fights, movie ‘theatres’ (actually a back room with plastic chairs and a TV screen) and SO MUCH FOOD.

Later that day my stomach reached the heights of it’s illness and I had to head to the doctors. Thank god we were in Manang and a quick set of antibiotics sorted me out. The higher you are the harder it is for your body to heal. I’ve met a few people who got sick in Manang and couldn’t heal up and had to return to Pokhara. While I was waiting in the doctors a lady with altitude sickness came in. She was supported through the doorway, her face was grey and she looked like she was dying, as they bought her in she fainted. People where running around hooking her up to oxygen and eventually a helicopter came and picked her up. Made me appreciate that all i had wrong was a bad stomach.

You can never forget the altitude while you’re in manang. We were staying in a 3 story guesthouse and the dining hall was on the 3rd story. Every single time we had to climb the stairs we had to laugh at how breathless we were.

Learning To Live-Part One.

[PART TWO]

Request: ‘Hey there love your writing so so much!! I was wondering if I could get a fic where the reader hasn’t seen another human being since before the apocalypse and thinks they’re the last human alive. When ricks group finds them they’re in terrible condition and can’t speak. Ricks group takes them into Alexandria and helps them learn how to live somewhat normally again but they still can’t talk. Daryl especially takes an interest in them and ends up being the first person they talk to months later.:)’-anon
Word Count: 2,873
Characters: Reader, Rick, Daryl, Alexandria Group to follow
Warnings: Language, Thoughts Of Dying/Suicide, Minor Violence

A/N: First of all thank you SO much to the anon who sent me this request! I am in LOVE with this idea and am definitely going to make this into a multi-part story! The first part sets up the whole story and the parts to follow will continue with the rest of the request! Feel free to send me your thoughts or more requests and if you’d like to be tagged in the next parts! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!


Two and a half years.
Or nine hundred and fifty days.
Or one hundred and thirty five weeks.
Or thirty one months.
Or twenty two thousand, eight hundred hours.

No matter how you wanted to spin it, the world as you knew it, no longer existed. The dead had taken it over and there was no way of getting it back. How it had happened, no one would ever know. There were plenty of guesses in the beginning. Some sort of disease? Chemical warfare? A punishment from a higher being? Or maybe just the way it was always supposed to end? All were possibilities but there was no one left to figure it out. It just happened, and happened quickly. Once it started it was like a tidal wave, destroying everything in it’s path. Towns were taken over in a matter of days, cities followed soon after, then entire states. Once the military couldn’t hold back the seas of rotting corpses, the government soon fell. And with that, so did every single human being on Earth.

Except for you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Could you write a fic where clarke makes it back to the rocket in time, but her helmet still cracks in bellamy's pov please

Earning Redemption

Bellamy POV

The lab is empty, the lights flickering dangerously against the oncoming storm outside. In the last five minutes on Earth, we had all worked together to ensure our survival.

Now, six of us were onboard and strapped down in the rocket. Two of us weren’t.

I stand at the base of the ladder and glance at the countdown: three minutes. There were three minutes to launch, and Clarke wasn’t back yet.

“Bellamy.” I hear a voice call from over my shoulder. I turn to see Raven standing in the hatch, her eyes filled with worry.

“I know, Raven.” I rasp, not daring to believe that I was going to be forced to leave Clarke on this burning planet.

I hear a loud crash from behind me and spin to find Clarke gripping the railing before descending the stairs, tripping over her feet as she hurriedly staggers across the lab towards us. That’s when I see it. There is a crack and a significant hole in the glass of her helmet.

My mind freezes. I can already see the blisters forming in harsh red circles on her face. But the radiation isn’t our biggest concern now. Clarke has to make it an hour in space with a cracked helmet.

My mind snaps and races for a solution, but it finds nothing. This couldn’t be happening.

“Raven,” I call, my voice strangled as I turn and lead Clarke to the ladder to climb. “What do we do?” I ask as we meet the brunette at the mouth of the rocket.

Raven’s eyes widen before she blinks quickly. Her mouth opening but nothing coming out.

“Raven.” I bark, demanding a solution.

“I mean, we don’t have any more helmets or oxygen tanks… And taping it shut isn’t going to keep oxygen in… I, I…” She stutters, her eyes filling with tears.

My panicked eyes meet Clarke’s, and the utter loss I see painted in her blue eyes devastates me. I can’t leave her here, but how is she supposed to hold her breath for an hour? There wouldn’t be enough oxygen for the eight of us to ration together for an entire hour.

I glance swiftly between the faces of my friends, silently pleading for some suggestion, some solution to save the second-most important person in my life. My eyes halt at Echo; there is an emotion in her eyes that I can’t place.

“Two minutes to launch.” Raven murmurs.

I turn to Clarke, completely lost for words and a solution. Her jaw clenches slowly as determined tears fill her eyes. She nods softly before gripping my arm firmly.

“Take care of them for me.” She murmurs, her voice filled with emotion.

“Clarke,” I rasp, my eyes pleading with her, the universe, anyone who will listen. “I can’t. I can’t do this without you.”

“You have to now.” Clarke replies, her brow set in a determined grimace, yet her eyes are soft, vulnerable.

“No, he doesn’t.” A voice says firmly from behind us. Echo stands quickly before crossing to the hatch and climbing out.

“Echo,” I ask. “What are you doing?”

“The honorable thing.” She replies simply, her mouth a grim line. The same emotion I saw before is in her eyes again, and this time I recognize it.

Pity. Guilt.

She quickly removes her helmet and thrusts it towards Clarke. Clarke’s fingers curl around it slowly, her gaze rising to meet those of the Ice Nation spy.

“There isn’t much time. You all need to go, now.” Echo pushes the helmet further into Clarke’s arms before climbing down the ladder to the lab floor.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke whispers, tears spilling from her bright eyes. She does not say thank you. She can’t. “Thank you” would be Clarke admitting that she believes she deserves to be saved. This is something that is breaking Clarke’s heart, I know it. Neither one of us is okay with this situation in the slightest. Clarke would give her life up in a heartbeat for any of us, but Echo beat her to the punch this time.

Echo nods in reply.

I follow Clarke into the rocket before we turn and share a final glance with the woman who has killed so many, yet saved one person so vital to my existence. The one who makes it ore than just existing and surviving; the one who makes it a life. I swallow thickly. I never wanted any of them to die, even Echo. I nod in farewell, in thanks, my eyes threatening to give way to emotion.

“I gonplei ste odon.” Echo says in farewell. She steps outside of the blast doors, and as Raven closes them, Echo’s form is blurred by the textured glass. I close the hatch door, taking a deep breath and turn to find my seat.

Clarke quickly trades her helmet for the one Echo gave her and straps in for take-off. I glance over at her as I buckle myself in beside Raven and find her eyes are filled with tears. I know what she’s feeling.

Guilt.

It seems like every time we’re close to being rid of guilt, it comes back to haunt us. I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to escape it in this life. It’s a crappy hand we’ve been dealt, but we overcome, as always. There are just some things I question if we’ll ever get past. I mentally add today to the list.

The computer comes online with the countdown as I hear the engines firing. I hold to the straps across my chest as the timer nears ignition. The rocket surges upward, shaking violently, the sound of fiery propulsion filling my ears. I squeeze my eyes shut against the jarring of the vessel.

We reach the edge of space not ten minutes later. As we detach from the rest of the rocket, I open my eyes to be greeted by the all-too familiar view of a black blanket dotted with countless stars.

I look over at Clarke once again, and find that she isn’t crying anymore, but holding her head high. Even from across the cockpit, I can see the battle raging in her eyes. Relief that she’s alive or guilt because she wasn’t the one sacrificing this time, which would win out? I had a feeling I knew which one would, but there would be time to talk about that later.

Five years, to be exact.

“Welcome to Zero G, everybody.” Raven smirks before unbuckling from her seat. As she floated above our heads, I could see the happiness shining in her smile.

I chance a look at Clarke and our eyes meet. She gives me a halfhearted smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I give her a small nod, silently promising that she isn’t alone, that we will be okay eventually.

100100100100100100100100100100

Docking the rocket with the Ring had been challenging, and we had all nearly suffocated before the air systems kicked into gear.

Afterwards, we scattered across the Ring, scavenging any remaining clothing, food, and other resources we could use while Raven and Monty worked on environmental controls. Eventually, we all somewhat settled back into another long duration in space.

As people claim rooms, I walk around the Ring, familiarizing myself once again with the dingy metallic walls that are even colder now than they were growing up. Sure, I’m glad to be alive, but not all of us are. I shake my head as I pass another corridor before making my way to the viewing window where so many moonrises had been observed before.

I round the corner to find the window already inhabited. Clarke sits on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest as she stares out at the flaming inferno that is now Earth. She looks so tiny and frail compared to the strong-willed, stubborn woman I know her as. She hears my footsteps because she turns her face towards me, and I see the tears that stain her pale cheeks.

That’s when it hits me full force. Without saying a word, Clarke is begging me to help her. To ease the guilt. To stop punishing herself because she doesn’t have the strength to do it on her own.

My jaw clenches as I close the space between us, sit beside her, and gently wrap an arm around her shoulders. She leans into my side as she wraps her arms around my waist.

“Tell me that I did the right thing, Bellamy.” Clarke’s voice cracks as she sobs into my chest.

I sigh, knowing that if I say she did do the right thing, Clarke will still feel like a monster.

“It wasn’t your fault, Clarke.” I murmur, resting my chin on her hair.

“Echo is dead because of me.” She whispers.

“Echo made her own choice,” I supply quietly, searching for the right words. “But now it’s up to us to make sure that her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. You’re still alive, right?”

Clarke nods feebly. I take another slow breath.

“So far, her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing. Let’s make sure it stays that way. Alright?” It kills me to see Clarke bearing even more weight from loss and sacrifice. I know how it feels, I understand the guilt and self-deprecation. Today wasn’t just the end of the world, it was a new era of life for everyone who survived the Death Wave, including Clarke and myself.

A chance to begin again.

“You’re right,” Clarke sniffled before sitting up, looking at me. “Echo did the honorable thing, just like she said. Now it’s my turn to honor her by keeping myself alive.”

“That’s better.” I murmur, a half-smile curving my lips softly.

Clarke nods, her tormented eyes wandering back to the window beside us.

“Do you think it was quick?” She asks, her eyes unwavering from the blazing fire consuming the Earth.

“I hope so.” I reply, my gaze following hers.

Clarke sighs, wrapping her arms around her knees once again. She looks so young like this, not at all like the eighteen-year-old I have come to respect and care for. I wonder what my life would have been like had I met her on the Ark before landing on the ground. Different, that’s for sure. But we wouldn’t have the same relationship that we do today. We wouldn’t have been molded by harsh environments, wouldn’t have been scarred by impossibly critical decisions, wouldn’t have developed the trust that we now share. And even though I hate the circumstances, I wouldn’t change a single day on Earth with this incredible woman simply because “what if”.

Silence envelopes us for several minutes before Clarke speaks again.

“Why do you think she did it?”

I blink in thought, gazing down at her blonde curls. I swallow thickly because I know why.

“Even though Echo was cutthroat most of the time, she still had a sense of honor, no matter how twisted it might have been,” I begin slowly. “She did it for me. After Gina… and everything with Octavia, I think she knew that I couldn’t lose another person that I cared about.”

I see Clarke nod, her eyes remaining fixed out the window. “It makes sense, I guess.”

I gently turn Clarke so I can look her in the eye. “You deserved to be saved, Clarke. You’re not alone, you never were.”

“Like you said, forgiveness is hard for us… But I’m going to try.” She sends me a small, reassuring smile.

“That sounds like a good plan.” I mumble.

Clarke returns her eyes to the window. I know that the debt she feels can never be repaid will result in her being here nearly every day for a long time. My heart aches to make it better, but in this instance, I’m powerless. This is an obstacle that Clarke must face and overcome by herself, with a solid support beside her. That’s my place.

Clarke peels her eyes away from the window and catches me staring. She blinks.

“What?” She whispers.

I shake my head gently. “You’re so strong, Clarke. I know that’s a blessing and a curse for both of us, but I’m glad you are.”

Clarke gives me the smallest of smiles. “I’m glad you are, too.”

I wrap my arm around her once again, pulling her to me before planting a light kiss in her hair. “We’re going to be alright, Clarke. I promise.”

Clarke sighs against my side. “I know that we will. It’s just hard to see that right now.”

“I know,” I reply into her hair. “The future is never certain with us.”

“You got that right.” She remarks, and I can’t help the smirk that tugs on my lips.

“You’re starting to sound like your old self again.”

She looks up at me, a flickering emotion in her eyes, almost as if she’s unsure if she can trust it or not. Hope.

“Good.” She swallows, her eyes never leaving mine. I nod, silent understanding passing between us. Clarke returns her eyes to the window.

“We’re going to be okay.” I promise her once again, quietly.

It would take time, and the sacrifices made today to reach this point would never be forgotten. The next five years will be hard on all of us, but I know that they will be easier to endure with Clarke beside me, than they would without her stubborn strength and determination.

We will get through this, just like we do every other hurdle in our path…

“Together.” She whispers.

“Together.”

Thank you to @wellsjahasghost and @bellamynochillblake for collaborating ideas with me. I greatly appreciate your feedback and input to get this fic up and running!

Also on FF.net and AO3. 

AIGHT I GOT AN ANON ASKIN ME ABT MY KINKUNI HEADCANONS, AND TUMBLR WONT LET ME ANSWER IT, SO HERE U GO ANON, 

  • they didn’t even realize they liked eachother for y e a r s, bc theyre both incredibly bad at feelings. kunimi more so than kindaichi. feelings are….so tiring….why cant they trade them for like. money. or candy. 
  • they originally bonded over being the children of overworked mothers; kindaichi having a single mother, and kunimi having a very busy father who they almost never see.
  • do you know how goddamn proud kindaichi is that hes one of the few people who can make kunimi smile? and not just their sarcastic smile, their real, genuine smile. he is so fuckin’ proud of himself.
  • you’d never believe it if kindaichi told you, but kunimi has the cutest dimples when they actually smile. 
  • “i have two long, fluffy creatures living in my house: my cat, and kunimi” - kindaichi, at some point 
  • kunimi intiates all kisses at first, bc kindaichi is too shy, but ucan bet ur hat that he takes charge once they get flustered. 
  • kunimi gets terrible nightmares, which is one of the reasons they’re so tired all the time. at least twice a night, if theyre alone, they wake up in a panic, kicking away their blankets and yelling to the high heavens. but if theyre with kindaichi, all they will really do is fuss and fidget in their sleep, and if they wake up scared, kindaichi will kiss all over their face and whisper sweet things to make them relax and fall back asleep in his arms. 
  • their favorite kisses are the kinds that start very soft, nothing but a peck, but end up with one of them pressed up against the wall panting (its kindaichi more often than you would expect) 
  • every time someone says kindaichi should wear his hair down more, kunimi gets a strike of fear, bc if he had his hair down all the time, kunimi would not be able to focus on ANYTHING, ever. hes too cute and too powerful, save them
  • kindaichi: what does my bedhead even look like? / kunimi, internally: really cute and fluffy and wavy and adorable and VERY distracting also i love you / kunimi, externally: you like a fuckin’ wreck go fix it / kunimi, internally: GODDAMMIT AKIRA, AGAIN?!
  • kindaichi’s thirteen year old little sister, hoshimi, and his mom both rlly like kunimi. hoshimi bc theyre really pretty and let her play with their hair/do their makeup and have a surprisingly good fashion sense, and his mom bc theyre incredibly polite and just being in their presence makes her son happy, which is just what she wants.
  • she had a not-so secret bet with her daughter on when they would finally get together. hoshimi won. 
  • “you know, kunimi, you look rlly nice with lipstick on, can i do your makeup again?” aka “im going to make my brother VERY frustrated, wanna help?" 
  • kunimi has never once said no to that offer. kindaichi is in hell 
  • kunimi basically lives with kindaichi from about halfway through the first year of high school onwards, when their parents get divorced and their mom becomes increasingly withdrawn and violent. they just guessed kindaichi’s house is safer, and it is. 
  • on the days they HAVE to stay at their house, they stay locked in their room, texting kindaichi almost all day so they arent as scared. 
  • kunimi gets incredibly babble-y and shaky and jumpy when theyre feeling anxious. their babbles are hardly intelligible, but usually theyre about whats wrong. kindaichi is semi-skilled at translating them. 
  • they both know sign language, for when kunimi goes nonverbal, which only really happens when they get incredibly upset or angry or nervous. 
  • kunimi both draws and takes photos of kindaichi a lot. their personal favorite is one they caught in the summer, when he was laying out on the floor, on his back with a fan pointing at him. his hair is down and hes shirtless and kunimi keeps that picture as their home screen, to the surprise of absolutely no one. 
  • kunimi is cold all the time, to the point that they often get the shivers with the slightest wind. kindaichi is a human furnace, however, so kunimi spends a lot of time just…hugging him intensely.
  • “we all know im dating kindaichi for his warmth and the fact that he spoils the hell out of me” - kunimi 
  • off topic but theres a rumor on the team that kunimi isnt actually alive bc theyre so cold and emotionless. kindaichi knows this is incorrect, but never argues. bc sometimes kunimi does look a little dead.
  • kindaichi likes wearing skirts at times, but you know what he likes even more? kunimi wearing skirts. 
  • kunimi may not be that light, but that will never stop kindaichi from carrying them. hes very strong, kunimi is swooning internally (even when they laugh at him for trying to lift them up)
  • kunimi doesnt care if you make fun of them, to an extent, but the minute you say a rude word about kindaichi, you’ll have bruises. 
  • this is probably my worst headcanon but kunimi gets into fights every so often, simply because theyre too protective of kindaichi and will gladly kick the ass of anyone who picks on him. also, fighting is fun and gives them an excuse to be tired, win/win. cue kindaichi patching them up and covering their bruises with makeup so neither of their mothers ask too many questions, warning them not to do it again, knowing they wont listen.
  • *inhales sharply* i love kinkuni thank u for listening