I’ve had the worst two years of my life
(and that’s saying something) but earlier this year I found something that made me feel like I had a purpose, like me still being here mattered even just a little. My life revolved around it; it centered me. No matter how bad everything else got, I still had that. Then it got taken away and I just…I’m spiraling. I don’t know how else to describe it. It all feels so pointless now. Everything.
I checked myself into the hospital on Tuesday night because I thought it was the best and safest place for me to be, but being here hasn’t helped. I’ve been sobbing non-stop for three entire days, I haven’t slept, I haven’t eaten, I can’t remember having an anxiety/panic attack until this morning or if I have it’s never been that intense, my entire body has been shaking for hours and I can’t make it stop even though the nurses gave me meds to calm me down.
Until this week I’ve always found the dumbest reasons to not entirely lose it no matter how shitty my life got, but I think this finally broke me.
“What’s the point?”
I keep asking myself that over and over trying to come up with some answer and for once I’m drawing a blank. I thought there was one, but I don’t think that’s true for me anymore. Maybe I was wrong before. I don’t know. I actually don’t anymore.
(i cant stop thinking abt this so i thought you might have done this already lol) all might and inko eating at a restaurant and all might gets excited for a sec & buffs up but when he does that he hits the table and spills their drinks