I’m sitting in my hotel room, skillfully eating some leftover chicken and dumplings from Cracker Barrel with a coffee straw cause I don’t have a fork, putting off taking off my makeup, and writing this post while everything is still kinda fresh in my mind.
I had the most amazing time tonight at the show! I honesty wish my brain was working better now so I could write better words but this is all I got lol
The show was SO GOOD!! I had so much fun and the Louisville Palace was beautiful!! Like wow it was a gorgeous theater and I’m so glad I got the chance to go! I appreciate so much what everyone did to put this show together for all of us and it all went so well!
I had VIP seats so I got to see Mark sing before the show started and I am honestly so proud of him for facing his fear of singing in front of everyone and doing so well! Sorry the phone lights threw you off a little but tbh it really added to the moment. And I’m glad you got your little guitar clamp thing back lol Thank you so much for doing that for us~
I had seen little clips of the show here and there from June and I thought it looked amazing but I was not prepared for how much more fun and amazing it was to actually be there and participate in the show! Every second was so funny and fun and I think my favorite part was the dance off! Sorry Ethan but Mark won this one lol The fan participation was so cool!
I love the whole team so much it was awesome to see them all perform in person. ALSO AMY AND KATHRYN!! Shout-out to them for being awesome and beautiful and going around to get questions from people!
Okay I better wrap this up cause I’ve rambled too much at this point. I might write more tomorrow if I can think of more to say. But thank you Mark, Ethan, Bob, Wade, Tyler, Amy, Kathryn, and of course Dan the Music Man for putting on a fantastic show that I won’t forget~
P.S. - My mom also loved the show and thought you all did amazing!
Tonight was absolutely incredible. I couldn’t believe how much fun! These boys are some of my fave YouTubers, and I’m glad I had the chance to see them live (and buy a REALLY comfortable shirt!), even if it was so far away the most defined features we could see was Jack’s green hair and Danny luscious curls. For real, one day I’d love to meet them and tell them all how wonderful they are, but for tonight, just being able to see them live and laugh with them was wonderful.
So, I… was not expecting to open up the news tonight and feel like I’d been kicked in the stomach. I’d barely even thought about Linkin Park in years. They were my brief, embarrassing nu-metal mallgoth phase. They were everyone’s brief, embarrassing nu-metal mallgoth phase. Then they were the band even nu-metal posers made fun of. By that point 15-year-old me had plunged down the rabbit hole and discovered Rammstein, and the Smiths, and the Sisters of Mercy, and KMFDM, and I had so much awesome music to wallow in that I barely had time to feel self-conscious that I’d never really stopped loving Hybrid Theory. (Although I did, a little, because I was 15 and nothing was too stupid to feel self-conscious about.)
But holy fuck did I love that album. “Crawling” is the first music video I have any actual memory of seeing on TV. Linkin Park was the first rock concert I ever went to. (And fuck you, they were awesome.) I loved it for the exact reasons my entire age cohort found it embarrassing as soon as we were out of middle school. It’s a primal scream of rage and anguish, artfully bottled up and beautified, that manages to articulate a lot of the nuances of how people hurt each other and what it’s like to be hurt so badly you can barely hang on. Which means it had its finger squarely on the pulse of what it’s like to be 14. Stuck in a rat cage with a few hundred other rats, all of you hopped up to the gills on hormones, clumsily figuring out all the ways people can hurt each other, how and when to protect yourself, how to judge others’ behavior. And because people learning how to judge get awfully enthusiastic about it and nobody likes the primal anguish or the pants-on-head stupidity of their 14-year-old self, it didn’t take long for us to start finding Linkin Park embarrassing. Their angst is utterly sincere, and sincerity is uncomfortable. Especially when it reminds you of the utterly sincere, solipsistic, overblown, ridiculous angst over trivial shit that your adolescent hormones were pumping through your veins in middle school. Getting over yourself is healthy.
Coming back to listen when I’m pushing thirty, though, nothing on Hybrid Theory makes me think about my mid-teens melodrama. Some of it makes me think about friendships and relationships that turned into the kind of fucked-up shit that makes me want to grab my past self and shout “run while you can.” But most of it–speaking as a grown-ass adult here–most of it makes me think “holy shit, I want to find whoever did that to this kid and kick their ass six ways from Sunday.” It is so fucking unbelievably obvious in retrospect that none of the shit Chester Bennington is screaming about is something you just get over once you’ve grown up a little and escaped the shitheads you went to high school with.
Transmuting pain into art is a natural, almost universal impulse; doing it well is hard. Getting close enough to grab the beating heart of it, pulling it out to dissect it, ruthlessly rearranging it into something with structure and clarity, stepping back far enough to judge what you’ve made… the strange, disconcerting realization that you’ve turned it into something beautiful. Something that will appeal to other people, make them relate it back to their own pain even if it’s not the same. (Something vulnerable that can be criticized and judged and sneered at.) Maybe at first it’s for your own benefit, help you process and understand it, let out a bit of that primal scream… but let me tell you, the first time someone says “thank you” or “I needed this” or “you articulated what I couldn’t” or “this got me through a dark place”… that doesn’t just make it worth it, it humbles the shit out of you. And it makes you want to keep doing it forever. It turns the pain into shared understanding and an offer of comfort.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t make the pain go away.
Chester Bennington was really fucking good at transmuting his pain into art and offering it up with utter sincerity.
So RIP, dude. I don’t know the details of what you were going through, but you gave the world a pretty good glimpse of the broad outlines. And that glimpse got a lot of kids through adolescence, my dumb ass included; I can only imagine what it did for people who were going through the same stuff as you. Life may not be some fairy tale where turning your demons into art is always enough to save you from them, but I wish you’d made it. You saved a lot of other people. Whatever peace eluded you here, you deserve to find on the other side.
Pairing: Jughead x reader Description: reader is in love with Jughead. Jughead is with Betty. Warnings: SAD SAD SAD ANGST I’m on my way to the hospital to take my mom and I was feeling this after seeing a spoiler from 1x06 sigh THIS HAS 4,274 WORDS AND IT TOOK ME FOUR DAYS CAN YOU BELIEVE —————————
I watched it happen from the very beginning. I noticed the very first time Jughead looked at her differently, the very first time he blushed when she complimented him, the very first time Jughead showed signs of jealousy when Trevor had asked her out. I watched it all unfold from the very beginning. When Jughead told me he and Betty kissed, I did my best to be the extremely supportive best friend, convincing him to show the pretty blonde he was interested in her. When he did, I helped him plan the entire date out, from where to when, to picking his outfit out for him since he was absolutely helpless when it came to dating. I smoothed out the shoulders of his shirt, fixed his beanie, and sent him on his way.
That night, when he came back to my house to replay all the highlights of his date, he had a smile on his face almost the entire time. It was something I had only seen a handful of times, so even though my heart was breaking, I was still happy that something made him smile this big, even if it wasn’t with me. When Jughead and Betty started dating, I began to slowly lose my best friend. He and Betty were always going together on the “super sleuth” cases, and I was hardly ever invited despite being the graphic designer and editor for The Blue and Gold. It didn’t bother me though, because I figured I would just see Jughead at Pop’s. I was wrong.
Jughead and Betty liked their alone time. They hardly ever invited us to hang out with them, and when we did, the rest of us felt like we were intruding. If I did have any alone time with Jug, his nose was in his phone, texting Betty the whole time. As supportive as I tried to be for the both of them, I was tired of pretending. All I ever did was pretend.
I walked in to the blue and gold after school, the room vacant. Jughead had probably waited for Betty outside of her history class so they could walk together to the newsroom; he used to do that with me all the time. I sighed, sitting down at one of the seats in the room and pulling out my laptop. I set it on the desk and began designing the cover for this week’s newspaper.
Eventually, Jughead and Betty showed up, not even noticing I had been in the room. They were chatting about something, both blushing and bumping each other playfully. I mentally rolled my eyes and kept my nose in my laptop, not wanting to watch them be all lovey-dovey or whatever. A minute passed, which turned in to five, and then ten, and then fifteen, and by this time I was beyond upset. Neither had said a word to me at all.
I finished the designs for the paper and quietly closed my laptop, zipping open my bag and stuffing it in before lifting it over my shoulder. I stood up, my chair emitting a sharp noise as the heel of the object scraped against the old tile floor. Jughead and Betty’s heads turned at the sound, watching me push my chair back in.
“Oh my gosh, y/n! When did you come in?” Betty asked. I know she didn’t mean it in a rude way whatsoever, she was one of my best friends, but it angered me. Deciding to keep my anger bottled in, I acted like I didn’t hear her, making my way towards the door of the classroom. I walked out, making my way down the hall.
“Y/n! Wait!” Jughead called my name, and a hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.
“What’s wrong?” Jughead inquired, his hand sliding down my arm to go to my wrist. I yanked my body back lightly, looking at him in surprise and disgust.
“What’s wrong?” I repeated, my tone of voice obviously showing signs of outrage at this point. “Jughead, if you don’t know what’s wrong right now, then I guess we aren’t as close as I thought we were.” I turned away from him, walking down the hallway again.
Jughead grabbed my shoulder again, turning me and grabbing my hand. “Don’t say that.” Jughead spoke softly, his jaw clenching.
“Really? Jughead, you did not notice I was in the room for fifteen minutes! You did not become aware of my presence in the slightest! And that isn’t even the first time!” I screamed, shoving him away from me harshly. Jughead stumbled back, frozen in shock by what I had just done.
“You don’t even care about me anymore! I don’t even exist to you!” My fingers dug in to my palms as I yelled at him.
“So yeah, we aren’t as close as I thought we were. In fact, I’ve never been farther apart from you.” I turned, walking away again.
“y/n!“ Jughead called my name and I stopped.
"Don’t, Jughead.” I cut him off, turning to face him one more time. “For somebody who claims to be an amazing observer, you sure are pretty damn oblivious.” I walked down the hallway of the empty school, turning a corner and making my way home.
It was 5:39 when my phone rang, interrupting me from my moping over Jughead and Betty. I had stayed home from school the past few days, blaming it on how “sick” I had been feeling, which was bullshit, but only I knew it was bullshit. Or so I thought.
“Hey Ronnie.” I answered the phone.” Now’s not a good time- “
“Too fucking bad, princess. Get your ass up, I’m here.” I heard a knock at my door downstairs and Veronica hung up. I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me, rubbing at my nose a bit to make it look red and grabbed a box of tissues. I wadded a couple up and threw them in the trash so my fake sick story would still be believable.
I padded downstairs slowly, hearing the incessant knocking and ringing of my doorbell. I took a deep breath before answering the door. There stood one of my best friends, hands on her hips and an irritated look on her face.
“Alright, time to stop moping and start moving on.” The black-haired girl stepped in to my house, closing the door and pointing upstairs.
“Who said I was moping?” I fired back, dragging myself up the stairs.
“Oh, come on y/n! You may be able to fool Archie, Betty, Jughead, and the rest of the entire world, but you can’t fool me. I know you aren’t sick, I know you and Jughead fought, I know you like Jughead. Its written all over you!” Veronica flung open the door to my room and marched to my closet, digging through it like a wild dog.” It’s kinda sick, actually. You look at him with literal heart eyes.Honestly, I would have gone for somebody a little more chiseled, but hey, we all got our own kinks- “
“Ronnie.” I cut off her incessant rambling, “Why are you knee-deep in my clothes?”
“Because, sweetheart.” Ronnie stuck her head out of my closet.” There’s a party tonight, and Jughead and my future wife are going, and we are going to show those two idiots who they really belong with.” Ronnie went back in to my closet, holding up numerous amounts of dresses, skirts, and eye-catching tops.
“Jughead is going to a party?” I queried, unconvinced.
“Yeah, it’s a thing with the cheerleaders at Cheryl’s, an Jughead is going to be the ‘supportive boyfriend’ or whatever.” Veronica scoffed at her own words, adding mocking quotations with her fingers before going back to digging in my closet.
“They’re probably going for more clues about Jason.” I mumbled, my mind drifting away a bit.
“For someone who only wears like, 4 outfits, you sure do have a lot of clothes.” Ronnie commented, pulling out a dress and examining it before hanging it back up.
“My mom tries.” I sighed, flopping back down on the bed.
“Oh, no you don’t. Get your happy ass up and get in the shower. You look terrible, which is weird for me, because you usually look incredibly fuckable.”
“Wow, thanks Ronnie.” I spat back, sarcasm laced in my tone. I got up and grabbed a towel from my drawer, walking in to my bathroom and taking a quick shower. I shaved my legs, as demanded instructed by my friend, and Ronnie did my makeup and hair, curling it and putting it up in a pretty half-do. I admired Ronnie’s work, hardly even being able to connect this me with the person that sat in my bed this morning, dark circles under her eyes and her hair in a knotty bun. She had also found a long sleeved black dress that came down to my knees, tucked away in my closet somewhere
Ronnie had brought over a dress for herself to change in to, and slipped on her shoes. She looked up and our eyes met in the mirror, a distressed look on my face.
“Listen, tonight is for us, okay?” Ronnie rested her hand on my shoulders, turning my chair so I faced her.” I’ve been sitting around and moping too, trust me, but we shouldn’t mope. We deserve so much better, alright? So, let’s just go out and have fun. We deserve that much, alright?” Ronnie held out her hand and I took it, pulling myself up and letting my arms go around her neck to embrace her. We both grabbed our purses and linked arms before walking down the stairs of my house and out my door. ——————————————————– “Ronnie, I don’t think I can do this.” I stood at the front door of the house, my heart racing.” I really can’t do this.” I turned away from the building, wringing my hands out in front of me.” I’ve been doing it for so long, and I don’t think I can pretend any more, and- “
“Y/n!” Ronnie grabbed my hands, holing them in between hers.” You can do this, ok? You’re y/n freaking l/n!! You are one of the strongest women I know, and you are fierce! You can’t let Jughead, or Betty, or anyone get to you! Don’t let them ruin your moment, ok? Because you are looking hot as hell- “Ronnie lifted one of my hands, twirling me in front of her, and I giggled- “And I’ll be damned if I let you let them mess with that.” I hugged Ronnie tightly before she linked my arm with hers and we walked in to the Blossom mansion.
The music wasn’t too loud, which was a kind gesture for my sensitive ears. Cheryl had already roped together some kids for a game of spin the bottle, and I had spotted Archie, Betty, and Jughead near a corner of the room. Ronnie had already gotten me away from the sight, pulling me to the kitchen. I only grabbed a bottle of sweet tea, ignoring the alcohol that lined the counter. Veronica did as well, unsurprisingly. Veronica was a very old-school classy person. If she did drink, it was usually only one glass, and something very light, as I had found out one night that I had slept over at her house.
“There’s my girls!” Kevin wrapped each arm around Veronica and I’s shoulders. “Operation ‘avoid Jughead and Betty because they’re little whores who have been ignoring us to suck each other’s faces’ has commenced!” I laughed at Kevin, giving him a weird look for the name he had chosen.
“Lets just call it Operation Cobra, you know, for short.” Veronica suggested.The three of us made our way to the middle of the dance floor ignoring our other friends. It was obvious Veronica was laughing and talking at a bit of a higher volume, as well as being extra touchy and flirty to get the attention of our friends. I didn’t so much as glance at Jughead, because I knew that once I did, it was game over, and I would be running home and hiding under my covers. After a little while, I went to find a quiet place in the house, wanting to be alone. Parties weren’t really my thing, so I didn’t understand why I even agreed to go, but to be fair I was having a nice time
I sat on Cheryl’s back porch, my legs swinging off the edge as I looked out at her backyard. The graveyard with all her relatives didn’t really help boost my happiness, but at least I had gotten away from the incessant bass drops the music was giving off.
“Thought you were sick.” I turned my head to see Jughead leaning against the wall, legs and arms both crossed. My heart started beating wildly and I felt a lump in my throat.
“Thought you didn’t like parties.” I retorted, turning my head back around to face away from him.
“Touché.” I felt Jughead’s presence as he sat down next to me, our thighs brushing together. For a couple minutes, I didn’t say anything, scared that if I did I would burst in to tears.
“You look really, uh, nice tonight.” Jughead looked me up and down and I raised an eyebrow.
“I mean, not that you don’t look nice all the time, because you do.” Jughead scratched the back of his neck.” Because you know, you’re really beautiful, but you already know that I think that, because you know, you’re my best friend, and uh… yeah.” Jughead looked away
“You know, I’m not a mind reader.” Jughead chuckled lightly. I could see him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I did my best to ignore him, crossing my arms and keeping my gaze away from his.
“Look- “Jughead gulped audibly, hesitating before lifting his hand and resting it on my shoulder.” I don’t know what’s going through your head right now, or what you’re dealing with, but I’m here for you- “
“Really? Are you really “here for me?” I shrugged his hand off my shoulder, moving to stand up. I was furious at this point.” Jughead, I have talked to you maybe a handful of times since you and Betty started dating! You have cancelled every single one of our plans since then! Every time we’re together working on the blue and gold, you and Betty hardly even notice I’m in the room! – “
My hands went to my temples as I slowly paced back and forth on the deck of the porch. Jughead now stood in front of me, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans and the other running his hand down his face in a frustrated motion.
“And maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry about it, if you would have at least showed any sort of remorse, but you don’t! You don’t apologize, you don’t even text me in advance to let me know, you keep me sitting at Pop’s for hours, and you never even show up! I don’t even know why I still do it? What’s the point?” I began to walk past him but jughead held his arm out, stopping me from leaving. His hand grabbed my hip, turning me to face him.
“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am- “
“No you aren’t, Jughead! You aren’t sorry!” I pushed him away from me.” You aren’t sorry! If you were really ‘sorry’, you would have been there for me! You wouldn’t have skipped out on our plans! You wouldn’t have left me waiting all the time! Or you would have at least texted me to tell me you wouldn’t make it! Or even apologize!” I shoved my index finger against his chest, pushing him away from me once more.” But you don’t! You don’t apologize, or even feel any remorse about it, because all you care about is yourself! You don’t care about the consequences of the choices you make, because it doesn’t hurt you!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face as I ended my rant. Jughead had a shocked face on his look, as if he was surprised that I had just stood up for myself. I couldn’t blame him. All I ever did was let people use me as their personal door mat. I didn’t want to be that person anymore.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I do care about you, it’s just, I- “
“Save it, Jughead!” I shoved past him, running back in to the house and out the front door. I heard calls from my best friend and turned around to see Veronica and Kevin.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Veronica stood in front of me, blocking me from walking down the path towards the gate to leave Cheryl’s home. Her hands wrapped around my arms, stopping me from moving.” What’s wrong, what happened?”
“What do you think happened, Ronnie?” I spoke loudly, my hands moving wildly in front of me.” Jughead is an idiot! That’s what happened!” Kevin now stood beside Ronnie, and her hands went to my face, wiping away the tears. “I’m in love with a fucking idiot! That’s what happened!”
“I know sweetheart, I know.” Veronica hugged me tightly.
“He doesn’t care, Ronnie. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he hurt me, or anything. It doesn’t matter.” I moved to look at her again.” Why do I have to be in love with him? It could have been anybody else! Why him?”
“I don’t know, honey, he’s a jerk, I don’t know why he- “Ronnie cut herself off, staring off behind me. I turned around to see Jughead standing ten feet away, arms at his sides and his lips parted slightly.
“Did you say you’re in love with me?” Jughead looked at me with wide eyes, waiting for an answer. I shook my head, diving between Ronnie and Kevin and running towards the gate. Jughead began to follow me, but Kevin and Ronnie held him back, letting me slip away. ————————————————– I was halfway down the trek to my house when I passed by the Riverdale park. I sighed, steering off the sidewalk and towards the big dome-shaped jungle gym. I was just going to mope at home anyways, so I wasn’t in a hurry to get there.
I dropped my heels to the ground next to me, swinging my purse over my shoulder and climbing up to the top. I sat down in the middle, the solid platform cold against my skin. I didn’t care though. I pulled out my phone, ignoring any notifications I had. I checked Instagram, scrolling through Jughead’s account. I switched over to Betty’s, seeing multiple photos of her and Jughead. I didn’t exactly know why I was forcing myself to look at these, but I was.
I shut my phone off, wrapping my arms around my body. I hadn’t brought a jacket, another thing to beat myself up over. I looked around the park, my eyes eventually catching someone else’s. Jughead.
“What are you doing up there?” Jughead looked up at me, his hands in his pockets.
“I like it up here.” I defended.
“Can you come down?” Jughead asked me.
“No.” I protested.
“Then I’m coming up.” Jughead sighed, beginning to climb the structure. I scrambled to grab my purse, trying to get off as fast as I could, but it was too late. Jughead had climbed up, grabbing the bars on each side of my body and hovering so my lower body was trapped under his. He looked up at me, his chest heaving from climbing up as fast as he could, mixed with the sting of the cold weather. Our breaths could be seen in the winter air, mixing with each other and disappearing. I stared at Jughead, waiting for him to say something.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Oh yeah, hold on. Let me ruin my closest friendship real quick by telling him I have super hardcore feelings for him when he’s dating someone else!” I spat sarcastically.
“Ok, that’s fair.”
“Whatever, Jughead, just let me out.” I started to shuffle under his body, planning to duck under his arm, but he blocked me, climbing farther up. We were now eye level, his face only inches from mine. Jughead stared at me, not saying anything.
“Are you gonna say something?” I asked him, my eyes flickering between his.
“I don’t know what to say.” Jughead admitted. I rolled my eyes, pushing him so I could get out from under him. Apparently, I had pushed too hard, because next thing I knew, the boy lost his balance, stumbling off the bars and falling in to the grass on his back. I gasped, shouting his name before climbing down quickly and jumping off the last few bars.
“Jughead! Are you ok!” Jughead groaned in response, sitting up and rubbing his head. I dropped on to my knees beside him, my shoulders on his hands.
“Peachy.” He answered sarcastically. I rolled my eyes, standing up and brushing the dirt off my dress.
“Whatever, I’m going home- “
“Did you know Veronica liked Betty?” I spun around, looking at Jughead.
“Well, I didn’t.” Jughead sighed, standing up. “And Veronica told her. Turns out, a big part of the reason Betty was dating me was to try and get over her, and convince herself she wasn’t gay. When Ronnie told her, she broke it off with me.” Jughead chuckled half-heartedly.
“Jug, I’m sorry.” Sympathy was laced in my voice. I stepped back toward him, patting his shoulder with my hand.
“It’s ok, really. I was dating her for kind of the same reason as well.” Jughead looked up at me, his eyes locking with mine.” You see, there’s this girl that I really like, and she’s been my best friend for quite a while.” My breath hitched in my throat, my hand leaving Jughead’s shoulder.” I’ve been kind of a shit friend to her, and I haven’t really been hanging out with her, more like avoiding her. It’s a really shitty thing to do, and I feel, like, really, really shitty about it.”
“Jughead, I, I can’t…” I turned back towards the dome jungle gym, walking towards my shoes. I felt Jughead’s hand on my shoulder and then my back was against the monkey bars, my body trapped by Jughead’s.
“I didn’t want to lose you.” Jughead admitted.” You’re everything to me, and I don’t know what I would do without you in my life. When I started dating Betty, I thought it would help me get over you, and then I could stop feeling the way I felt.” Jughead looked me in the eyes, his face no more than a few inches away from mine once again.” I watched what happened to my parents, and yours. They were just like us. They were best friends, and…” Jughead hung his head, cutting off his own words.
“Jughead.” I reached my hands up to cup his face, lifting his head to look at me.” We aren’t our parents, ok?” My thumb brushed against his cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen down his face. Jughead smiled, his eyes flickering down to my lips, and mine doing the same.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I’m in love with you too.” I laughed lightly, my arms wrapping around his neck. Jughead’s arms went to my waist, pulling me flush in to his body before he pressed his lips to mine. I sighed in to the kiss, feeling relief that Jughead felt the same way about me as I did him.
Jughead bit gently at my bottom lip, pulling it between his teeth as he broke the kiss. I giggled, burying my face in to the crook of Jughead’s neck. —————————————————– “I see my work did some justice.” I heard Ronnie call out. Jughead and I turned around on the sidewalk we had been on to see our friends.
“We have been looking everywhere for you guys! Where were you!” Archie called out, jogging towards us.
“Oh, you know, climbing jungle gyms, pushing Jughead off them, the usual.” I joked, looking up at Jughead. He smiled, rolling his eyes. Ronnie and Betty walked up to us, hands held together.
“Hey, nothings gonna be… awkward, right?” Betty asked, looking at Jughead and I.
“No, Betts, everything’s good.” Jughead looked down at me, squeezing my hand.
“Ok, good.” Betty rested her hand on Jughead’s shoulder giving it a friendly squeeze before dropping it.
“Wait, so, you two?” Archie asked, looking at Ronnie and Betty, who nodded.
“And you two?” Archie looked at Jughead and I. Jughead nodded and I blushed, hiding in his side. Jughead wrapped an arm around my waist, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Honestly, I’m not surprised.” Kevin shrugged, walking towards us.
“Hey, we’re all heading to Pop’s, you coming?” Archie asked Jug and I.
“Archibald Andrews, do you ever think I would turn down a burger and fries from our ever so famous chock-lit shoppe?” I put a hand over my chest in mock offense.
“Of course you and Jughead are together, why was I even surprised.” Archie rolled his eyes, walking away from us.
“That obvious, huh?” Jughead spoke aloud, looking down at me.
for the first time hoco was actually SUPER FUN!!! these four kids FINALLY danced in the giant circle of sweat and terror but it was fr the best thing ever and by far the best dance i’ve been to! like we went in at 8:30 and got out at 11 and it felt like no time has passed at all ??? it was liiit 🤙
(plus we got ihop after that was a fun time)
(also for homecoming antics maybe add me on snapchat ? @ jilleebillee33 !!)
“Y/N, when will you be home tonight?” Your mother asked you.
“Not sure. Peter and I have a Chem test on Monday and want to try and get a lot of studying in before then,”
“Meaning the two of you won’t study at all, but watch movies and then fall asleep on the couch,”
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” you you admitted.
“Alright, behave yourself and make sure you’re home by tomorrow morning,”
“Of course, mom. I’ll see you tomorrow!” You said as you left your house to head to Peter’s.
You and Peter had known each other for quite a long time, and you usually spent your Friday night’s ‘studying’ aka, attempting to study but ending up watching movies.
You would argue that you were Peter’s best friend, but Ned always says otherwise. But you and Peter were rather close, you were always spending time with him, and it was no secret to you that he was Spiderman.
And of course, you harboured feelings for the boy. For as long as you could remember you had had a crush on Peter Parker. And damn, were your feelings growing with each passing day. Peter, of course, had no idea, but you weren’t exactly sure whether that was a problem or not.
When you arrived at Peter’s door, you knocked and May let you in.
“Y/N! Peter will be so happy you’re here. He’s in his room, just go on it,”
“Thanks May! It’s great to see you,”
“Nice to see you too, Y/N,” She said as you walked away towards Peter’s room
“Knock knock,” You said, opening Peter’s bedroom door.
“Y/N, hey,” he smiled
You walked in and sat down on Peter’s chair, across from his bed where he was sitting.
“So did you bring your books?” Peter asked
“Of course not Parker. We never actually study, I thought why bother lugging heavy textbooks over here if we weren’t actually going to study,”
Peter laughed, “That’s fair, but I thought we could skip the movie tonight?”
“Skip the movie? Who are you and what have you done with Peter Parker?”
“C’mon, I had a better idea,”
“And what is this better idea of yours Mr Parker?” You questioned.
Peter smiled at you, stood up and walked across his room to his closet. He began stripping, pulling his shirt off
“Not that I’m opposed to this, but what are you doing Parker?”
Peter laughed, “I’m putting on my Spidey suit,”
“Oh, so not only are you getting naked, but you’re getting kinky,” you raised your eyebrows.
“Geez, Y/N, didn’t realize you were into that kinda thing,” Peter said, continuing to put on his suit.
“Oh there’s a lot you don’t know i’m into,”
“Oh yeah, and what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Play your cards right and maybe one day you’ll find out,”
“I’ll definitely keep that in mind,” Peter said.
He put the mask over his face and walked over and held his hand out to you,
“Shall we, my dear?”
“And what exactly are we doing?”
“Just, come with me,”
You took Peter’s hand and followed him out onto his fire escape.
“What now, Parker?” You asked
Peter wrapped his arm around your waist and said “Now you hold on tight,”
“Oh god,” you muttered, wrapping your arms around his neck.
Suddenly, your feet weren’t on the fire escape anymore, you could feel yourself flying through the air. Your heart was rapidly beating
“Don’t worry, Y/N, I’ve got you,” Peter said.
You tightened your grip on Peter, closed your eyes, and buried your face in his neck. You felt Peter’s arm wrap tighter around your waist.
Soon, you felt Peter hit the ground, and he slowly let go of you and your feet hit the ground.
You opened your eyes and looked around, you were standing on a roof,
“Where are we?”
“I found this place not too long ago, its nothing special, but you can see so much of the city from up here, I thought it was so beautiful when I first saw it. It reminded me of you. I knew I had to show you,” Peter answered, taking off his mask.
You walked to the edge of the building and stared off watching the lights of the city. The cars’ lights reflections danced off the windows of the buildings around you. You could hear the noises of the city below, the car horns and the sirens, yet everything was quiet so high up.
“It really is beautiful up here, Peter,” you turned to look at him
“I’m glad you like it,” He smiled, rubbing the back go his head with his hand.
“Its not just the view I like, Peter,”
“Right, you like the Spidey suit, turns you on,” He joked
“More like I really like you and want to kiss you a lot,” you whispered to yourself
“What?” Peter asked
“I said you suck, Parker,”
Peter rolled his eyes, and grabbed your hand, “Come on, theres something else I want to show you,”
You allowed Peter to lead you across the roof of the building. There was a small garden in the corner, with a bench next to it.
“Peter, this is so beautiful,”
You approached the garden and slowly let your hand fall out of Peter’s as you bent down to admire the flowers.
“I remember you telling me you love forget-me-not’s and lilies, so I planted some earlier this season and they finally bloomed, so I figured now would be the best time to show you this place,”
“Peter, how on earth do you not have a girlfriend? You’re actually the sweetest boy I know,” you smiled, leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Well actually, there is someone I like,”
“Oh really? And who might this special someone be?” You teased, walking around the garden to lean on the side of the roof.
“Well, they know my secret,” Peter said, holding up his mask, “they also are always crashing my house and distracting me from my homework,”
Peter started walking closer towards you.
“They also can never decide what movie to watch on movie nights. Not to mention that they distract me in class too. Not on purpose, mind you, but they’re so beautiful, I can’t help but stare at them,”
You smiled, you knew he was talking about you. As soon as he started talking, you knew.
“Tell me more, Peter Parker,”
Peter was now standing right in front of you, “Well, i’ve kinda had a thing for them for a few years now. I’m kinda actually in love with them,”
“Well, in that case, there’s something you should know Parker,”
“What’s that, Y/N?”
“There this superhero I’m kind of in love with,”
“Please tell me its not Mr. Stark, that would just make this so awkward,”
“No, but have you seen Captain America’s ass? Damn,”
Peter rolled his eyes at you.
“I’m kidding. Kind of,” you said
“Y/N,-“ Peter started
“I love you too, Peter,” You said
“Don’t you mean I really like you and want to kiss you a lot,” Peter whispered
“You dID HEAR ME,”
“Of course I heard you,” Peter smiled.
“You suck, Parker,”
“Does this mean I can kiss you now?”
“I think I changed my mind. Do you have Captain America’s number? He seems like he wouldn’t be as mean to me,”
You stared at Peter while he bit back a smile.
“Yes Parker! Kiss me already,”
Peter put his hands on either side of your face, and gently pressed his lips up against yours.
You pulled away, “You still suck Parker,”
“I think, now, it’ll be you that will be the one who sucks,”
“Oh mY GOD PARKER!” You laughed.
“Sorry, sorry, it had to be said,” he smiled.
“So Parker, are you going to take me back to your house so we can finish up that movie night, and maybe, maybe, if you’re lucky we can talk about that other thing you suggested,”
“I think by the time you even decide on a movie to watch, i’ll be asleep and it’ll be too late for anything else,” he joked
“Well it would be the perfect way to wake up, now wouldn’t it, Parker,”
“Damn, maybe I should wear this suit around you more often,”
“Believe me, its not the suit,”
“Well, then what are we waiting for?” Peter asked, putting his mask back on.
He wrapped his arm sound your waist and shot a web to another building. The two of you were flying over the city once again, but this time you kept your eyes open.
Imagine, you just got out of Belle Rêve and he wants to put a baby up your belly.
It was 00h37 when you arrived at J’s house. Tiredness was dripping from all the pores of your skin. Escaping Belle Rêve was harder than you thought it would be. At some point you even stop believing it was possible. Guards were surrounding you from everywhere, Mr J’s men were all getting killed.
At some point, it was sure in your head that you were going back into your cage tonight, an helicopter came out of nowhere and drop you a rope. Holding you firmly by your waist, J hoisted the both of you up to safety, bullets charging at you from everywhere.
The helicopter drop you off when you were in a safe perimeter. A car was waiting for you. You climbed in it while J killed the pilot. You were happy to see that he thought of bringing you clothes to changes. You went in the backseat so you had more place to change before going back in the front. You pulled down the window and pitched the orange uniform as hard as you could.
It took 15 hours of driving before arriving at J’s house. 15 hours of driving in pure silence. He wasn’t saying a word, you weren’t either.
When the Rover pulled up the entry of the mansion, the sun was beginning to go down, J told you to not wait for him, that he’ll be back later in the night. You didn’t ask any questions, you didn’t have the force to, and even if you had your brain wouldn’t have registered his answer.
You climbed off the vehicle, and went directly inside, to your room, more precisely, while you heard him putting the car on reverse and leaving the manor. Getting out of your stained blood clothes, you slipped yourself under the cover of the bed you share with J.
The smooth mattress under you felt so good after the year you passed slipping on the floor that you can’t help yourself: as soon as your head touch the pillow, you fell asleep.
You were put out of your sleep, maybe some hours later, you didn’t know, by a sticky and hot substance that was running down your cheeks. You were laying down on your side by the window, so the sticky stuff was going all over your lips.
Still light-headed and not really sure of what was happening, you just ran your tongue over your lips. When the viscous substance touched your taste buds, you knew exactly what it was. You opened your eyes immediately and raised yourself up. You turn yourself on the left side and come face to face with J, who had is hard-purplish meat in between is hand.
His torso was raising up and down in a fast speed, his eyes closed and a little smile tucking his lips softly. His boxer were only down at the middle of his thighs. Humidity was starting to make its way into your panties, but you shook your head, furious.
“What the fuck J!”
When your voice reach is ears, his blue eyes finally come into sight.
“What? I had blue balls for almost a year, I needed little relief.”
“But were you really obligated to cum on my motherfucking cheek?! I was finally having a good damn night of sleep!” You said, rage spilling out of you.
“I jacked off so often to your pictures that they are all ruined now.”
“Oh please, you’re worse than a fucking teenager.”
“Don’t speak like that to me. You never complained before.”
“J, I just spend 9 fucking months in jail sleeping on the goddamn floor. Is it too hard to ask from you to just leave me alone for one goddamn night? Just cum into your fucking pillow.”
Suddenly, your cheeks were caught in his right hand, putting your mouth awkwardly forward. His eyes were getting cloudy with anger. He was slowly gritting his teeth, the metal of it making a sound that gave you goosebumps all over.
“Listen to me you little brat. You are not allowed to speak to me on that tone. You are not allowed tell what to do with my fucking dick. If I want to mark you like a fucking dog who mark a tree by pissing on it, I’ll fucking do it. Do you understand?”
He was so calm compared to his eyes, it was scary. You didn’t want to answer.
“ANSWER!” He screamed.
“J? Wow, they really had fun with you in there, hey? So much you forget who I was. I should give you a spanking for that. But I’ll give you one more chance. Yes-who?”
You didn’t want a spanking. At least, not tonight.
He gave you a smile. You gave him one in return.
“Good girl. Now undress and get on your hands and knees.”
You smile slowly faded to an uncertain look.
“What, but Daddy I did everything you asked!”
He gave you a malicious smile. He just win a hiding game he had been playing.
Knowing that if you didn’t do it, the consequences would’ve been worse, you did what you were told. Getting out of bed, the coldest of the room came rushing at you, making the hair of your arms raising. Your back was facing him so you couldn’t see the expression on his perfect face when you pull up your shirt, revealing your braless torso. You began to slowly slide down your burgundy velour short along with your lilac laced panties.
You turned on your heels, coming face to face with Mr. J, whose eyes was eating you alive. You could see the lust in them, the desire to swallow you in one shot. His cock had already took a deep red color and was able to support itself by its own.
Some liquid was already showing at the tip and you couldn’t help yourself at the sight: you squeezed your thighs to get some friction. Its only when you did that that you realised how wet you were. You could feel it running shamelessly down your legs. A deep shade of pink appeared and colored all of your face.
You hided yourself behind your (h\c) hair.
“Don’t be shy baby. You weren’t before you left.”
You stay still.
“What? You became a prude in there? Your baby hole got closed up? You sucked a dick to deep you busted your vocal cords?”
You bite your lips at his obscene words.
“You like that? You like thinking about another’s dick deep in your throat? Hum? You like that little slut?”
“I-I only like your cock, Daddy.” You affirmed.
He show you his metal teeth.
“Good girl. Now on the bed. It’s time for your punishment.”
Without missing a beat, you go on the bed, on your hands and knees, putting your ass facing him and a little bit higher than the rest of your body, to make it seems more enticing. You can feel the bed moving under you and you know exactly that J is moving to try to get the best angle for your spanking.
His rough hands are suddenly touching the bare skin of you ass. A good goosebumps make all of the hair on your body raised up in excitement. You could feel the coldness of his golden bracelets travel behind his hands.
“You know why I am punishing you babygirl?” He ask, the roughness of his voice showing up.
“Because I have been a bad girl to my Daddy.”
“You are right baby. That little mouth of yours put you in trouble. I thought I educated you better than that.”
“I’m sorry Daddy…”
“Being sorry won’t save you baby girl.”
Then come the first slap. It sound echoed in the room along with my hiss. He messaged it for a while before hitting the same spot even harder. The same pattern kept going for a while: hit, massage, hit harder, hit, massage, hit harder… You were a moaning mess at the end, and you couldn’t feel your ass.
“You can’t imagine how much I love the sight of your ass all red and ready.”
You can feel his fingers sliding down carefully towards your wet folds. You moaned when you felt his big finger splitting your lips apart to give him a better look.
“That’s it baby, make your little pussy cry me a river.” He said while putting a finger inside of you.
You could feel your walls trying to suck it in, recognising it right of the bat. Your pussy was squeezing his finger so hard that when he tried to retract it, a sound of suction could be heard. It’s like if your pussy didn’t to be left without him.
Of course you were used to getting something in it every day. Before getting your ass into Belle Rêve, you always had his daddy stick up your tight cunt.
“My, my, my baby, you’re so fucking tight it almost hurt!”
Another finger was added to the equation. You bite the sheets under you, muffling the sounds of your moans at the same time. Your daddy’s fingers were hammering inside of you. And you could hear the sound of slapping flesh all around you.
Suddenly, you were on your belly, face to face with him. His fingers were shot down your throat without warning, making you chocked over the surprise. You started to swirl your tongue around, the taste of your juice all over your mouth. Soon enough, his fingers were replaced by his tongue. Your wet muscle was dancing with his for a couple minutes, spit falling down of your mouth at how sloppy the kiss was.
"You know what baby? I think I found a better way to show people who you belong to.“
”What is it daddy?“ You asked, in a baby voice.
His big blue eyes was on you the all time he was lowering his head so his mouth could be at the level of your ear. His fingers were moving all around your body, pinching your nipples at some point, which made you trembled.
”I’m going to breed that little cunt of yours.“ He whispered.
You cried out in ecstasy as your hands grabbed a hold of the covers on your bed as his ginormous cock entered your tight little pink pussy.
You could hear his moans of pleasure as his dripping cock head pushed against the wet, tight walls of your cunt.
”Fuck yeah, suck daddy’s meat with your tight little cunt. Make me feel good babygirl.“
He started moving slowly inside you, breaking the tight suction of your hole around the thickness of his cock. He started to move faster as your moans begin to be louder and louder, working his cock completely in and out of your little cunt.
“Mm… that’s it, little pussy, grab onto my cock. Make me fuck it harder.”
J grunted with every thrust into your little pussy. His balls popping against your clit over and over slowly turning your pussy into a lake of wetness. Your moans turned into screams ad you knew that if anybody were to be in the house, they would perfectly heard you.
He dug his fingers once more into your hips, pulling you into his hard thrust. He could feel his gut twisting in pleasure inside of him. It was so good, so good. It was making his balls tighten with every stroke.
He was about to breed his babygirl.
”Fuck, I can’t wait to put my fucking baby inside you.“
You could feel your muscle started to cramp over the movement of in and out of his meat inside of you. Sweat was dripping all over his face. You lift yourself up to wipe it with your tongue. J moaned at your action. You smiled, proud to make him feel so good. But you were rapidly pull back into the bed by his hand that was now wrapped around your tiny neck.
He used his grip as leverage, his cock slapping inside you harder than ever.
The smell of your sweet cunt cream scented the air around him and made him go totally insane. He put every muscle he had into pushing as deep as he could into you, to push as far up into your belly as he could get and breed your little hole with his potent seed.
”Oh god, daddy! You’re gonna make me cum with your long, big stick!“
Your pussy clenched down on his dick like a vice, making it close to impossible for him to withdraw. Suction noises was flying in the air as he kept pounding into you. You were still trembling underneath him.
You could tell he was close to cum.
”C'mon you little fucking cunt. Milk me. Fuck!“
When his orgasm hit he screamed. It felt like his cock was exploding inside your sucking walls, milking the seed from his swollen balls into waiting womb to breed you. He dived as deeply as he could into you. Again and again he stabbed his meat into you forcing your womb to opened up against the head of his cock.
“Fuckkkkk yeah… swallow it… little pussy,” he hunched his cock against your womb with every spurt.
“Swallow all of Daddy's… hot seed,” he grunted, shaking as he forced the head tight against your cervix and held it there, letting the last drops leak into your opening. Allowing your womb to suckle on the tip, trying to draw every drop from his potent cock.
“God damn… suck it… suck it,” he moaned before finally collapsing on top of you as his softening cock fell out of your pussy with an obscene slurp.
Your chest was falling heavily as you tried to regulate your respiration. You gently passed your hand into his green hair, kissing his temple sweetly. He raised his head that was currently burried beside your neck and kissed you slowly.
“You took all of Daddy’s big cock, little girl,” he murmured against your lips, pecking it once.
“And Daddy is really proud of his babygirl,” he pecked it once again.
"Nobody will ever take you away from me now.“ He said, rubbing your belly who will soon be the home of somebody else.
Summary: Connor and the reader are friends online, but then find out they’re neighbors too. The reader is homeschooled, so she has no way of hearing the rumors about him. They become best buds and hang out with each other everyday and eventually fall in love
A/N: This was waaaayyy longer than I wanted it to be, so my apologizes in advance. Thanks again to @the-murphy-family for such a fantastic prompt, I’m sorry I rushed the exposition so much. I had so much fun writing this! (If you aren’t already following their blog, I highly suggest it).
Warnings: Connor’s potty mouth | First person reader | Fighting Murphy siblings
It was almost bedtime by the time I’d messaged him. I hadn’t planned on it, by any means. We talked after I’d finished my lessons for the day–he’d skipped school, I saw, which I always thought was off considering his mother was home.
I’d changed into my pajamas–just an oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts–and had begun to tuck myself into bed when I saw him.
He’d left his blind open tonight, and through the window screen I could see him silhouetted perfectly, all the lights in his room blazing. It was nearing 9:30, so I wasn’t too shocked to find he was still awake. The houses were so close together on this side of town and, from the second story window, there was nothing but a four yard distance between our windows–and a drop nearly twice that length.
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring straight ahead, giving me a view of his profile, the sharp angle of his jaw, the thin slope of his nose, and the hard jut of his adam’s apple.
What startled me enough to give pause was the fact he was unnervingly still, unblinking, staring at something I couldn’t see. He wasn’t working on homework or painting his nails or playing that silly candy crush game on his phone. He was just staring.
Too far away for me to make out his expression, I instead rolled over onto my bed, clicking the lights back on and pulling out my phone, opening up the Chat app we used on the daily.
What’s up, buttercup?
I wished I could see him–there were certainly nights we sat by the window and messaged back and forth, but starting out that way would mean he knew I saw him lost in whatever pensive state he’d been in, which more often than not would mean he’d be less than willing to talk. In my lap, my phone buzzed to life.
Isn’t past your bedtime or something?
I snorted, starting my own reply before:
Are you having trouble sleeping again?
Swallowing thickly, I immediately replied:
No, I’m fine. Just bored, checking to see if you were too :)
I tried to wait, give Connor a moment to compose whatever turmoil he’d been sitting in before I asked how he felt, otherwise I’d get a swift ‘okay’ and the conversation would take a dive bomb south at ridiculous speeds.
If it’s nudes you’re looking for, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not in the mood tonight, kiddo
I choked, lunging forward in the bed to muffle my embarrassing squawk into my fist. Thank goodness my bed was out of sight of the window, or I’d have to watch Connor chortling at my less than appropriate reaction to his less than appropriate joke.
Connor and I had only been talking for about two months now, after I’d moved out here five months ago. Well, we’d been talking for nearly the entirety of the five months, but I’d only realized it was Connor not all that long ago.
Oh no, whatever will I do without seeing your sculpted, rock-hard abs??? ;)
Shut up, jerk off
I cackled into my fist, careful to not wake my siblings that slept in the next room over. It had taken a large amount of time to get used to Connor’s rather blunt personality, to put it pleasantly. He’d always been candid, of course, ever since the first contact I’d had with him on the Chat app (“You swear you aren’t a pedophile, right? Or my dad? That’d be weird as fuck.”) and it had been thrilling to be with someone so open and ready to talk about things. The way he felt. The things he thought. The fact he was afraid.
We didn’t exchange photos for a long time–and I’d never seen Connor outside the house, other than the on and off times he’d flit across his bedroom window like a haunt, never knew his name–but the second his photo flashed on my screen, I knew. Even in the photo he hadn’t been smiling, the same stoic countenance he always wore.
He’d recognized my photo immediately, and had been less than thrilled. It took convincing–a lot of me showing up at the fence between our yards, very nauseous, promising it hadn’t been a mean joke–but he came around.
You sure you’re good? You’re quiet
I smiled softly at my phone screen. It was a rare night when Connor had enough energy to be so concerned about others–it wasn’t his fault, I knew, he was just in a bad spot right now. The fact he could consider my feelings for more than a few moments felt remarkable, flattering. But, most importantly, it meant he was doing okay.
I’m fine, pls don’t worry :)
Are YOU okay?
I’m fine, chill out
I rolled my eyes, unsurprised. Deflect and distract, his usually strategy.
Can’t see you rn
Come to the window
I sat up quickly, going over to shut out the light to blur my image to him. Combing my messy hair with my fingers, I tugged on my oversized shirt so that it covered my mostly exposed legs before throwing open the window and leaning out.
Connor, across the way, had already thrown his window open and was halfway leaning out, his face scrunched in confusion. He tapped something out on his phone, pausing every so often to tuck back the dark locks falling into his face. His other arm was braced on the window ledge, the sleeve of his hoodie pushed up to expose his bare forearms to moonlight, glowing a soft snow hue in the dark. My phone buzzed as he glanced back up at me with an open expression.
Turn on the light, dumbass, I can barely see you
I smiled up at him, putting my phone aside to shake my head ‘no’. He frowned, slumping down a little more against the window, his chest pressed to the ledge, before holding his arms up in a 'why not?’ and flipping me the bird.
I typed out a quick response to let him know that my parents thought I was asleep. I watched him read the text, watched his eyebrows furrowed over his deep-set slate eyes, saw him frown, heard him swear under his breath. I bit back a chuckle as he carded his hand through his hair in frustration several times.
I vaguely wondered why this made so little sense–most of our conversation up to this point had been centric of me, but Connor was visibly frustrated (not that he wasn’t frequently) and earlier he’d seemed much to absent to not be upset about something. My phone buzzed to life, casting a blue glow across my face, and I saw Connor’s face stretch in recognition, pleased to make out my expression in the dark.
Meet me in the pool house
My heart jackhammered in my chest at the thought of it–sneaking out. He was crazy, he had to be. He knew my parents would murder me for being up this late, let alone sneaking out, and worst of all, meeting a boy.
Not just a boy. Connor.
I felt him watching me from across the divide, at the edge of my vision and could make out where he leaned against the window, propped up on his elbows and head in his hands, hair hanging in his face. Glancing up, meeting his stony gaze, I nodded.
It was immediate, earning a reaction from him. Biting back my chuckle, he scrambled up from where he kneeled against the window ledge, his whole face smiling as he ran from his window without looking back. He was already standing in his backyard, waving wildly before I’d even departed from the window.
I decided against redressing or doing my hair–Connor was waiting and the quicker I got out there the quicker I got back without alerting my parents to my absence. Besides, it was probably too dark in the pool shed for Connor to make out my bare face and frizzy hair anyway, let alone the hair on my legs and the stretch marks on my thighs. As if Connor had the nerve to look to begin with, I snorted.
Sneaking out was surprisingly easy, and Connor had left the gate cracked just enough for me to slip in between. The door to the pool shed–just a small building, hardly smaller than my bedroom, at the edge of the yard–was slightly ajar, and I saw quick movements coming from inside.
Once in the doorway, clicking the door shut behind myself, I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me.
“Connor?” I called, spinning in the dark so that my back rested against the door, ready to exit if necessary. My eyes searched the dark frantically–in vain. There was a small window, vaguely fogged from years of neglect that allowed a slim moon beam to shine in on a small pile of towels and blankets, a little bean bag chair. Connor had told me not too long ago he and Zoe hadn’t played in here for years, which meant it held secrets long forgotten by either of the Murphy children. I felt honored to be inside it.
“Hey,” he breathed, and though I could see him, I recognized his soft voice just to the right side of me, breathy and soft. It’s too dark to make him out, and I noticed he’s careful not to touch me, but I can feel his breath against my ear, warm despite the fact it’s chilly for a June night. I felt goosebumps pimpling along my legs, making the hair stand up on end. I silently thanked the universe for giving me the gift of darkness to veil myself in.
“Feels like it might rain,” I sighed, turning toward the sound of him, the warmth. My bare arms brushed something–maybe cotton, maybe not–but it pulled back immediately away from me, accompanied by a quick intake of breath.
“Christ, don’t talk about the weather,” Connor hissed into the dark, a hard thunk resonating through the shed where he must have leaned his head against the wall, a bit too forcefully. How very Connor of him. “That’s the kind of shit my dad says in the car when he acts like he’s uncomfortable to be near me for more than ten minutes at a time.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, leaning away, and turning to gingerly pick my way across the shed–it was getting late now and I was already beginning to get tired. Connor may be able to stay up until the early morning hours, but I definitely couldn’t be trusted to be awake at eleven.
“Fuck, don’t be sorry, I just meant–shit,” he growled, and I heard another sharp pang against the steel inside of the shed–he’d hit something with his fist, if the metallic clink of what I assumed to be his ring against the sheet metal was any indication.
I stumbled my way to the beanbag chair, collapsing, and letting myself sink into. It smelled a little like chlorine and sun-in hair dye, but it was soft and warm, almost the size of a double bed. I wiggled upright, squinting again to see Connor in the dark now that I took up the only patch of moonlight in the building.
“You aren’t feeling alright, are you?” I asked softly, resting my cheek against the faux suede of the chair, struggling to keep my eyes open. There was a pause.
“That’s not why I asked you over,” he sighed in his tennor, stomping across the room, picking his way, until he flopped down beside me, displacing the insides of the chair and nearly rolling me out of it.
He reached forward with another soft swear, grabbing my shoulder blades to yank me back onto the bean bag bed, rolling me close so that I wouldn’t fall again. I laughed, unsure what was so funny–maybe it was the fact I’d nearly catapulted out of the chair due to all five pounds of Connor “Ribcage” Murphy, or the current situation, my face pressed against the soft cotton of his hoodie, his heartbeat steady and strong against my cheek. I didn’t move away.
To my surprise, Connor didn’t move away either, just kept both arms wrapped around me, hands firmly in place of my scapula as if scared to dip any lower. I felt the dip of his chin against my temple, felt his lips against my scalp.
“Aren’t you freezing?” He whispered, rubbing quick circles between my shoulder blades.
“Quit dodging my question, Con,” I hissed, beginning to pull away before Connor tightened his grip–surprisingly strong for a boy with such lithe wrists.
“But you are cold,” he muttered, slipping one hand down from my shoulder to my bare arms, rubbing in quick patterns there, attempting to make some sort of friction between us.
God, my parents would kill me if they saw me now.
I want to he clear I wasn’t under any pretenses–this wasn’t, er, Connor hadn’t called me out here so that we could, well–
“I’m fine, Connor,” I promised, taking advantage of the moment to fold my arms against him, trapping them between the heat of our bodies, letting my cheek rest idly against his chest. Connor didn’t like me, I knew, but in the dark shed…well, it was easy to pretend.
It was always easy to pretend to be someone else with Connor.
“You wanna talk about what’s going on with you right now?” I said with a false bravado, thumping his chest lightly with my fist. “You can’t hide anything from me, Connor Murphy. I know you too well.”
“You don’t know anything, dumbass,” he grumbled half-heartedly, and I felt him lean forward to press his face into my hair. “You don’t know shit.”
“So you’re lying to me?” I baited with a smile, tapping his chest, feeling his frustrated sigh and rewarding him with a light laugh. “I didn’t think so. I’m here for you, you know.”
“I know,” he growled, sighing heavily, taking one hand off my back to push his hair away, before letting me go entirely to roll onto his back. His thin fingers covered his face, the black fingernails scratching frustratedly against his pale face. “I just–I don’t, I don’t know how to–shit.”
I leaned forward to tap his chest again, letting him know I was here. “Just talk it out. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
He shocked me by reaching forward with one hand, knotting his fingers with my own and letting them linger against his chest. I was grateful he couldn’t make out my expression from his position, grateful for the fact he couldn’t feel my face flush. I’d never been this close with a boy in my life, and Connor knew that. He wasn’t being fair, and I was sure he knew that too.
Unless he didn’t. Connor had a bad habit of selling himself short. I bit back the urge to press a kiss to his bony knuckles.
“I know,” he whispered, voice suddenly hoarse. He was worse than I thought. “Um, it’s harder now? I guess. I trust you–I mean, I always trusted you. It’s um, it’s harder because the anonymity is gone, I guess? I’m worried now that you know who I am–what I am–you’re gonna get bored of me?”
I didn’t laugh this time. His voice was thick and rapid as if he couldn’t hold back the word vomit, like he’d been holding it back for a while. My own throat felt thick, and I couldn’t contain the guilty feeling in my stomach. I rolled forward, wrapping my arms around his thin waist, feeling his hip bone press against mine sharply. I was careful not to look at his face–it’d shut him down for sure.
“Connor…I need you just as much as you need me, you know that right?” I whispered, trying too hard not to let him hear the panic in my voice.
“I know,” he rasped shallowly, sounding oddly wet. He was crying, I realized stupidly. My heart constricted in my chest, my stomach dropping. He was in pain and I had barely noticed. This was all my fault.
“And even if I didn’t need to vent, if I didn’t need your support, I’d still talk to you because I like you, Connor. You’re my friend. You’re a good person,” I whispered.
“You are,” I continued. “You’re a great person and you’re always looking after me, even when you’re hurt. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Connor, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice–”
“I’m not hurting! Shut up!”
“Shhhh,” I hushed, sitting up to remind him to be quiet. “You’re parents are gonna–”
His face was red. His nose and lips were swollen, wet, and his cheeks, flecked with silver freckles glowing lightly in the moonlight beam he laid in, and there were tear tracks running from the corners of his eyes.
“Connor,” I cried softly, reaching up to wipe his cheek. “Please–”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he sobbed wetly, hands folding up to cover his face. “Just fucking get out, okay? This was a mistake.”
“Hey, hey,” I soothed frantically, reaching up to pet his hair, hoping that it might make him unfold himself. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. I’m gonna help, Connor, whatever you need. I want to help you, please.”
“I’m not your responsibility, kid, okay? You can leave. Stop looking at me, Christ.”
“No,” I sighed. “Look, if you don’t wanna talk, that’s okay. That’s okay. Just, let me stay, okay? I’m not judging you, I’m not gonna leave, I promise. I’m here for you. Let me be your friend.”
He shook underneath me, holding in sharp sobs. I wondered how long it’s been since he let himself fall apart like this, let himself have some kind of catharsis, let himself feel, period.
This relapse was good. It was under control. I was here. I had him.
“Okay,” he whispered finally, reaching up to tangle his hands in my hair. “Christ, just–don’t tell anyone, okay? Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “I’m not. I’m here, okay? You don’t have to talk.”
I might have imagined it, as I lowered my head back to his chest, might have imagined in between the soft presses of his fingers as they moved in and out of my, might have imagined, just briefly, the feeling of his lips pressed against my hair.
The next morning was awkward. My parents and siblings showed no knowledge of the fact I’d snuck out to see Connor last night–it wasn’t as if they weren’t aware we were friends, to my parents chagrin and the Murphys’ delight, but I didn’t need them to think we were involved in some sort of torrid tryst, especially one we weren’t even having.
I left a few hours after Connor had slowly ceased his wet and much needed lament and his breathing had turned into a soft snore. I untangled myself from his arms, and leaned back for awhile to watch him sleep, tried to ignore how angelic he looked, red faced and weepy with silver freckles glowing mutely in the patch of moonbeam.
I’d sent him a quick text to let him know I wanted to return before my parents woke up, let him know I’d be by the next day. Told him to message me if he wanted to talk again.
Now I was waiting for my mother to finish grading my papers for the day so I could to see Connor, who didn’t have school today thanks to some silly teacher institute, lucky loser. The American school system was a joke, to be quite honest.
“You’re jumpy,” my mother noted, scribbling something in the margins of my paper without looking up at me.
“I was gonna ask if I could go over to the Murphy’s? I haven’t talked to Zoe in a long time,” I asked sheepishly, scratching at my arm.
“And Connor, hmm?” My mother hummed thoughtfully, giving a smirk to my workbook.
“Connor’s cool,” I said honestly, nonetheless feeling a guilty lump rise in my throat.
“He’s a good boy,” she mused. “He always helps me with groceries if he’s outside.”
“Which is never,” muttered one of the younger kids, earning a kick under the table from me. My mom just smiled softly.
“Go ahead, honey. Call if you’re going to be longer than an hour.”
I thanked her, nearly sprinting out the door, my twin braids slapping against my back as I skipped between the yards. Zoe was at the door before I knocked, leading me into the kitchen, announcing me loudly in a way that would’ve earned a talking to at my house.
Cynthia appeared in the doorway, looking radiant, albeit a bit tired. Her face smiled brightly at me.
“Honey! It’s so good to see you, it’s been so long since you’ve stayed for dinner–Larry, tell Connor she’s here!–Zoe’s missed you, you should stay the night, right Zoe?–Larry, call Connor–Would that be alright with your parents? Stay for dinner then stay the night? I can run out and rent some movies and snag a pizza–Larry!”
Zoe just rolled her eyes, yanking me down the steps past her mother and into the basement. Her grip on my arm was vice like, almost painful and definitely excessive. Her pretty red hair blew up in my face, making the already dark room even harder to see through the haze of her auburn locks. She practically shoved me onto the couch, following me by slamming down beside me.
“I saw you last night.”
My pulse hammered in my throat, and I felt all the blood rush swiftly to my face, making me dizzy.
“I saw you. I told Mom. I don’t think Dad–”
“What do you mean?” I gasped, throwing my hands between us. Zoe blinked rapidly.
“You and Connor. In the shed. Last night. Christ, it was only ten, you could’ve been sneaky about it–”
“Zoe, we didn’t do anything,” I pleaded. God, if the Murphys knew, they’d tell my parents–
“You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?” She sighed, pushing her hair back out of her eyes. “Whatever, okay? You don’t have to tell me, I don’t give a shit as long as you aren’t pregnant. Just–because you’re my friend, I want you to know some things. Are you gonna listen?”
I thought better than to argue with Zoe, so I nodded shyly.
“Look, I know you and Connor are friends. That’s fine, whatever. But you don’t see Connor at school. You don’t see Connor here, not really. Not what he’s like when you aren’t here.”
I felt my heart constrict. She was going to try to convince me to stop talking to Connor.
“He’s mean. You don’t think it’s weird you’re his only friend? He’s a bully. He’s lazy. He’s violent, Christ–he’s my brother, I love him. But you shouldn’t…you shouldn’t take him seriously, okay? One day his temper is gonna flip and you’re gonna be in his way.”
I blinked, stunned that Zoe would say something so slanderous about her own brother.
“I don’t understand,” I said softly, staring across at her. It was no wonder Connor was so upset, why he had to reach out to strangers on the Internet to vent. His own home was a war zone.
Zoe sighed heavily. “You aren’t at school. You don’t hear the rumors. You don’t see the things he does. If you wanna be friends, fine, but…be careful. I wouldn’t let him anywhere near your heart.”
I didn’t argue with Zoe–I thought better of it. So I just nodded.
“Thanks for, um. Thanks for the warning,” I said with a thick voice, struggling to maintain sincerity.
“You’re welcome,” she sighed. “Mom thinks you’re dating. She’s over the moon. It’s disgusting.”
“I thought you thought we were dating,” I pried, raising an eyebrow. Zoe rolled her eyes, hitting me with a deadpan expression.
“As if Connor could ever get someone like you. As if Connor could even feel something remotely close to love–I’m half convinced his chest is an icebox,” she laughed dryly.
“Talking about me, are we?”
We both spun, wide eyed to see Connor on the stairs, arms folded.
“No, go ahead, I’ll wait. I love hearing stories about myself. Tell me again Zoe about how I’m in love with her?” He hissed, making my face burn red in shame. I felt awful for letting Zoe talk about him that way–worse because Connor made it painful clear he didn’t reciprocate any feelings I might’ve had for him.
Wait. I didn’t have feelings. Connor was a friend. A good friend. A friend who needs me and who doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of, not until he’s okay. Not ever.
“Never said that,” Zoe said with a smirk, rising from the couch gracefully. “But keep digging your grave, it’s fun to watch.”
“Fuck you,” he growled.
“Fuck you,” she grinned. “I’d love to watch your train wreck love admission, Titanic is on, and at least that story has a happy ending.”
Connor kept a white knuckled grip on the banister as she passed, as if holding in an urge to push her. He kept his blazing eyes downcast, and noted his pale cheeks were burning red.
“What’d she tell you?” He whispered once the door slammed.
“Nothing true,” I promised, leaning forward on the couch to make room for him, patting the seat beside me. “Nothing that changed my mind.”
His head snapped up, and I watched his expression go from rage to disbelief to awe before he descended the stairs, shaking. He stopped before the couch, as if scared to come near me, staring down in awe.
“What did my mom say to you?”
I shook my head. “Not much. She asked if I could spend the night. Only if you want me to, though.”
He laughed, but the smile didn’t quite reach his face. “Only if I want you to, Christ, where did I find you?”
“The Internet,” I reminded, earning another laugh.
“Of course I want you to,” he sighed, finally coming to sit beside me. “Of course I want–”
He cut himself off, surprising me, before slinging an arm around my shoulder. I stiffened, but eventually melted against him, reminding myself that it was just Connor.
“You wanna watch a movie? I hear they’re playing Titanic or something.”
It’s two am when I wake up, taking a quick mental assessment of where I am. There’s a soft blue glow burning my eyes, shining over what appears to be a nest of blankets piled roughly on the floor.
The Murphy’s basement, I realized with a jolt, I’m just at the Murphy’s.
I’m in a pair of Connor’s pajamas–Zoe’s clothes don’t quite fit me right–an oversized black shirt and a pair of sweats Cynthia brought down in a laundry hamper. My braids have long since come loose, the desperate curls tangling wildly around my head.
Beside me, Zoe is snoring, almost comically, every so often a nostril whistles in time to the soft sound of Dexter’s Lab playing on the tv.
There’s a hand, dangling just above my head. The pale fingers were curved artistically, the nails too short as if they’ve been bitten recently and the black nail polish chipped hopelessly. It’s attached to an arm, long and thin, almost angular, and up farther is a shoulder, bare, pressed against a red coffee stained couch.
“You’re awake,” he whispered in a conspiratory voice, but when I sat up to make contact, there’s no sly smirk. He’s frowning. “You are having trouble sleeping.”
I shook my head. “Stop worrying about me, Connor.”
“No,” he rasped, sitting up on the couch. I avoided looking too long at his bare chest, but regardless indulged nonetheless.
“You haven’t been sleeping,” I noted, coming to sit by him on the couch. He immediately opened the blanket, giving me room to slide in beside him, before throwing it around both of us so we could settle back against the couch. His bare skin was warm, and I let him take both my hands between his, letting him rub my hands between his in an attempt at some warmth.
“Been thinking too much,” he sighed softly. “Don’t worry about it.”
I swallowed, beginning to feel the effects of sleeplessness and helplessness melt together in a fatal concoction.
“I can’t help if you don’t let me, Connor,” I reminded him, pressing closer. “Let me help. What are you thinking about?”
He leaned away, as if I’d burned him, dropping my hands into his lap and looking away, the thin muscle of his cheeks hollowing as he clenched his jaw. “Can’t say.”
“Connor,” I pleaded. “Please let me help. I want to. I’m begging.”
“No,” he growled. I felt tears beginning to build, to my own horror, behind my eyes.
“Connor, can you just–”
It was an explosion. We both froze, turning in horror to glance at Zoe, waiting to breathe until we heard the soft whistle of her nose again. I turned slowly, terrified back to Connor. His eyes were wide, and if I didn’t have my fingers wrapped around his knee, I swore he might try to run.
“Me?” I asked softly, careful not to wake Zoe. Connor pursed his lips, his jaw twitching nervously.
“Fuck, yes, you, just–shit, I didn’t wanna say that–”
I leaned away, watching Connor’s face contort farther.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered heatedly. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong. You want me to go, right? I’m really sorry, Connor–”
“What?” He nearly yelled. “You think–fuck.”
His head ducked, to my great surprise, against my shoulder, pressing his face into the crook of my neck and, of all things, began to laugh.
“You think–Christ, it’s like you aren’t even real. You think I’m mad at you?”
He pulled away, his face no longer red or swollen, just smiling softly at me, almost awe struck, and staring intently with his slate eyes.
“I…I’m not sure?” I whispered, but not feeling at all nervous when Connor snaked his hands gently up my arms again.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered suddenly, shocking me. “And you have no idea that you’re perfect. Christ.”
I frowned. “Connor. I don’t…I don’t think I understand.”
But he was still looking at me–eyes scanning slowly over my face, landing suddenlyhalf-lidded on my lips, and it suddenly all clicked into place. Why Zoe would warn me. Why Cynthia acted the way she did. Why Connor was so scared in the first place.
I remember Zoe saying how over the moon Mrs. Murphy was at the idea of Connor and I dating–because that meant Connor would have me. It meant Connor would be happy.
It meant I would have Connor.
It was like a sudden dam had broken open inside me, filling me with more revelations as Connor’s hands lifted to cup the back of my head, his eyes soft, scared, and asking as they met mine. I let a quick exhale before I surged forward, slamming out mouths together much too forcefully, and not at all enjoyably.
I laughed–much too loud–but Connor kept back to the task at hand, his eyes closed in concentration, swallowing my outburst and folding me against his (very, very bare) chest and kissing me deeper, slower. It was painfully obvious he didn’t know what he was doing, but so much about the kiss was still tender and important, warming me from my core outward until I was scratching to wind my arms around him, getting him as close to me as I possibly could, kissing back to make sure he knew how much I wanted this. How much I wanted him.
How much I needed him. Anything he needed, I’d give him. Now and forever and–
“If you two are gonna fuck, can you do it in the bathroom or something? I’m trying to sleep.”
Connor and I pulled apart–causing me to stumble backwards against the arm of the couch gracelessly and staring at Zoe as she rolled over with her back to us.
I dared a peek back at Connor, whose lips were pink and wet despite their dry skin splitting with the force of his wide, wide smile. His eyes were glowing brightly, almost burning as he raked them over me. The flannel blanket was pooled behind his back where it had been wrapped around us, and he just simply opened his arms again, inviting me back. His pale chest–pock marked with freckles, clusters on his ribs–was striped with pink lines from where my fingers had raked in a desperate attempt to give him validation.
I crawled forward, pressing my face against his neck in a hazy attempt to bring my breathing back to a normal speed.
“You okay?” I asked, running my fingertips over his shoulders, fighting the urge to word vomit an unholy collection of questions about who and what we were. Connor Murphy, post kiss. Connor Murphy, still life, smiling with wet, swollen, bloody lips. Connor Murphy standing at the edge of happiness, jumps over the ledge.
He nodded against me, fighting with his own dark curls where they made an attempt to cloud my cheeks in an adoring way. Cute, I decided.
“Okay? I’m,” he sighed, laughing and wrapping his arms around me to squeeze tightly. “I’m…you have no idea.”
“Better than nudes?” I teased. He snorted, embarrassed.
“I’m positive. Although–”
I hit him.
“Okay, kidding! Jeez…” he pulled away, cupping my face lightly, pushing the hair back out of my eyes like I was a child. It felt fantastic, he was right, as I searched through the galaxies in his eyes, his pale skin illuminated by the hazy blue glow of the television. It felt so far past amazing, being held like I was the only person he knew how to see. He cleared his throat, and I saw his eyes were brimming with an emotion I couldn’t name.
“You, uh,” he laughed nervously under his breath. “You have to know I love you.”
It was a startling blow, knocking all the air out of me and forced a bubbling laugh to fly out of my lungs. Connor’s smile wavered slightly, so I popped up to press a soft kiss to the cleft of his chin.
“I know,” I sighed, giddy with the realization it was true. “I know. And you know I trust you more than anyone. You know I love you.”
It was like watching him crack open, the way all the uncertainty was cleared from his face, a wave of joy and triumph.
“You love me?” He asked so softly, so awestruck, I felt my heart shake in my chest. I’d barely started to nod before he surged forward to kiss me again, small and chaste pecks across my face and neck, the bridge of my nose, my temples.
He was okay. We were okay. We were going to be just fine.
“I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight. We had so much fun the last time. And it is surprising. You got a room full of reporters, celebrities, cameras, and he says no. Is this dinner too tacky for The Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead? Is he at home, eating a Trump Steak, tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel? There’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable, because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground. That’s probably enough. I’ve got more material. I don’t want to spend too much time on The Donald. Following your lead, I want to show some restraint. With that I just have two more words to say: Obama Out.”
“No, no! It’s like this.” I shooed Tom out of the way and showed him how to grade the paper again. He groaned and put his hands on the back of the chair I was sitting in.
“Why don’t you just do it then?” I sighed, turning to face him again. It’s been three months since the bar incident, and Tom and I have been getting along quite nicely. We bicker here and there – but, like we’ve noticed, we’re completely different people. It’s expected. We’d go to lunch together, go grocery shopping together and we’ve even gone a couple of, non-successful, double dates.
“You said you’d help grade the homework! I have to make this test that I forgot I assigned tomorrow.” Tom looked at you, his eyebrows pulled in. “What?”
“If you don’t have the test ready,” his hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “why don’t you just reschedule the test?” I opened my mouth to say something, probably to call him an idiot like I usually did, but noticed he had a point. I turned back toward the homework Tom was grading and reached toward my laptop, quickly hitting the ctrl + s keys and saving the work I had already done before closing my laptop. I heard Tom scoff above me, I looked up to see him shaking his head. “Idiot.”
“Shut up, Holland!”
“Well, you’re welcome.” It was my turn to scoff.
“Um,” he gave me a look that could only be a duh look, “for saving you time?”
“Oh, you’re right,” I said sarcastically, “thank you, Tom. For having common sense – for once.” He nodded his head, pursing his lips.
“You know what, (L/N)?”
“And they’re fighting again.” Tom and I directed our gaze toward the front door, seeing Jacob and Harrison walk through with a couple of boxes of pizza. I walked over to help Jacob with the drinks as he closed the door.
“We’re not fighting, we’re bickering,” I nudged Harrison’s shoulder, “it’s good for moral.” He rolled his eyes, a smile on his face as he passed me a plate.
“So, you going out with your boy-toy tonight?” I looked up at Jacob, sticking my tongue out at his childish tone.
“Don’t call him that, his name is Tony! And, no, it’s a school night.” I had been seeing Tony for about a month. We started out as just bed buddies and one day something just snapped. When we kissed we didn’t rush it, and he started to stay over more and then he asked me out – he broke the bubble.
“Well, don’t have too much fun with all that homework, tiger,” Tom grabbed his plate and winked at me, grabbing a beer and heading toward his room. I watched as he left, trying to ignore the burning in my cheeks after he winked at me. I tried to replace Tom’s face with Tony’s. Tony, Tony, Tony.
How BTS Would React to Their S/O Flirting with Another Member
Request: Hi Raea~ Could you please do the boy’s reactions to their s/o flirting with another member and the punishment that would (or wouldn’t) follow :)
You two were at the album release party, and Jungkook had gone off to grab you drinks. When he came back, he noticed that Jimin had sat down beside you and was laughing with an arm on the sofa behind you. He took a seat on one of the bar stools a ways away from you and took in the scene, sipping his drink.
Everything was bothering him, the way you had your legs crossed, the skirt riding up on your thigh, the way you twirled your hair, even the dress you chose that showed off your cleavage. When he saw you playfully put a hand on Jimin’s thigh, he downed your drink too and walked toward you, feeling himself heat up with anger.
Completely ignoring Jimin, he glared at you and said “Party’s over Y/N, we’re going home.” You got up and started walking toward the exit, Jungkook following close behind. As soon as you entered the corridor, you heard the door slam behind you, the sound echoing through the empty hall. Suddenly you were pinned against the wall, wrists above you with your furious boyfriend dangerously close to your face. “You’re such a fucking tease Y/N,” he muttered, cocking his head to the side with a smirk. “I think you need to be reminded of who you belong to.”
You two had gotten into a fight the night before and when Taehyung woke up he found that the bed was empty. Feeling worried, he looked around drowsily, putting on his hoodie and getting up to go look for you. When he walked upto the kitchen he found you, still in your little PJ shorts, standing on a little ladder and searching for something on top of the cupboard. He was startled to find that you weren’t alone. Jin was standing beside you, talking about some new recipe he had found. He was trying, and failing, to avoid looking at your exposed tummy as you reached for the corn starch. “Can you help me get down Jin?,” you asked shyly, arms full of baking supplies. You held onto his shoulder with one hand while coming down and when the ladder wobbled, Jin grabbed you by the waist to stop you from falling. “Thanks,” you said, smiling slyly.
“Aish, this little shit,” muttered Taeyhung, smirking.
You suddenly noticed he was there and put down the supplies on the counter.
“Oh. Good morning.” you said, a bit coldly. “Jin was just helping me set up for the charity bake sale tomorrow.”
“Sure he was,” he said, cocking his head to the side. You didn’t understand why he was smiling, you had assumed he’d be atleast a little annoyed, but instead he looked cockier than ever. “Well, I’m going back to bed.” he said, taking one last look at you and grinning before turning to go to your room.
A few hours later, you ventured into the room, covered in flour and tired after a long day of cooking. Taehyung put down his phone and propped himself up by his elbow. “You did all that to tease me, didn’t you Y/N?” He chuckled and motioned for you to come to him. Sighing and thinking about how much you need a shower, you picked up the small towel on the chair and went and sat on his lap, wiping the flour marks off of your face. He took the towel out of your hand and did it for you, lightly running it over your features. He looked so focused that you weren’t really listening to what he said. “Hm?” you asked drowsily, still following his eyes as they travelled across your face. Suddenly he flipped you over, hands pinned to the bed on either side of your head. “I asked you, did you really think you could get away with that stunt you pulled today?”
“What are you talki-” you started to mumble, but seeing the way his expression had suddenly changed, you whispered a quiet “No.”
“Good.” he growled, letting go of your wrists. “I want to see you, on your knees in the shower, when I get in. Bad behaviour needs punishment.”
He thought having dinner with the boys would be a nice way to introduce you to them, but watching you flirt with Yoongi was not so nice. He spent the whole night looking over at you two and wishing you’d talk to him instead. As soon as the boys left, he felt relieved, sitting silently on the couch and watching TV. Seeing you walking toward him, he got up to go to your room, not wanting to talk to you for a bit.
“What’s wrong Jin? You were so quiet tonight,” you said with concern, reaching up to loosen his shirt. He took your hand away and avoided looking at your face.
This was different of him since if something was bothering him he always made a big deal about it, yelling playfully, being the meme that he was. You knew you had hurt him tonight. “Jin, I just wanted to get to know your friends, that’s all,” you said. Looking down at you, his eyes darkened, and he started to walk toward you. His eyes, his height and his broad shoulders were suddenly intimidating to you, and you started to retreat until your back hit the wall. “I don’t care what you were doing, tonight, the only thing I want to hear is the sound of my name from your lips.”
Jungkook was the one who came on to you first, putting his arm behind you, and giving you looks that weren’t very innocent. It was incredibly annoying but Yoongi kept his mouth shut and just observed. What annoyed him even more was that you were responding to it, giggling and tucking your hair behind your ear while looking up at him from beneath your eyelashes. He sat beside you, one arm wrapped around your shoulders and turned your face to look at him. “I think you and I both know what you’re doing right now and,” slightly tightening his grip on your chin, he leaned in and whispered “you better watch yourself Y/N or you’re gonna be fucked all night long when we get home.”
He and you danced together a lot at home, and depending on the mood, it usually turned into something else. So, naturally Jimin loved watching you dance, but not tonight, because you weren’t dancing with him. He watched you move against Taehyung’s body, and seeing the way he was looking at you was making Jimin want to strangle him. He loved you both, Taehyung as his brother who he’d spent over the last 5 years of his life with and you, the love of his life, but what he didn’t want to see was you two together like this. He didn’t say anything right then, he just got himself a drink and sighed.
Back at home, you could tell that something was off so you questioned him while you were taking off your dress to change into your PJs. He came up behind you and pulled down the zipper slowly. “You can only dance like that with me Y/N.” he said, nuzzling his face in the back of your neck. You turned to face him and he walked backwards, his head cocked to the side, never breaking eye contact with you, and sat back on the bed. He played a Weeknd song from his phone and tossed it aside.
“Dance for me Y/N,” he said in a low voice.
“What, Jimin I don’t know how t-”
“You could do it with him but not with me? he asked, his eyes flashing. You understood how he felt, so you got up and walked up to him slowly. He pulled you onto his lap. “This is going to be a long night babygirl.”
He came back from the bathroom to see you laughing with your head back, hand on Hoseok’s knee. You were leaning in to whisper something in his ear and Hoseok was grinning sheepishly, and suddenly Namjoon felt a pang of jealousy in his chest.
When the two of you got home, he closed the door behind you quietly and said in a low voice, “Did you have fun tonight Y/N?”
“Yes i think so,” you whispered back, looking away, knowing that he had seen. He lifted up your chin sharply.
“Oh, it looked like you were having much more fun than that, babygirl.” He smirked when you bit your lip, looking needy.
“You’re not getting that satisfaction tonight Y/N. Bring me the paddle from our room.” he ordered.
“A paddle? Wha- Oh my god when did you buy a paddle what the hell-” He cut off your words by pushing you against the wall.
“Do you want a different punishment then? I can think of alot of other things we could be doing.”
“No, i-I’ll bring it,” you mumbled, finding his heavy gaze arousing.
“Go. I want you across my lap in five minutes.”
When you started to leave, he grabbed you by the waist, and whispered into the nape of your neck. “You’re getting a spanking for every time his name left your mouth, I hope you’re ready Y/N.” He let go and you stood there thinking about how much you liked it when he got like this.
“Why won’t you talk to me Hobi?” you asked running up to him as he walked faster to move in front of you. To be honest you kinda knew why. Namjoon had been with you all evening, and you had let him, slightly ignoring Hoseok. You two were walking to your car, having left the party early per his request. Wanting to break the silence, you said playfully, “Wow why did we park so far away from the others, there’s literally no one here, it’s like an abandoned lot or something, God we’ve been walking for more than half an hour I-” You stopped rambling, when you heard him pull in a sharp breath. “Y/N I know you feel guilty and that’s why you’re mumbling so much, but I swear to god if you don’t stop trying to console me I’m going to bend you over this car and fuck you right here.” You stared at him and rubbed the back of your neck, trying to understand what he was thinking as he scanned you with his eyes. “Oh fuck this,” he growled, hitching up your skirt as he pulled you closer to him. “I don’t think your punishment can wait.”
I had a really stressful day at school today, so I think I’m going to dedicate the rest of the night to some self care. None of my homework is due tomorrow, so I’m just going to read over some notes, maybe do a face mask, and have an early night tonight. I’d very much appreciate some fun self care activities if anyone has some recommendations!