but i gave you to your heart

When Our Lady drew near unto death, she called her disciples to her. She spoke softly to them and blessed each and every one of them. To each she gave her heart advice, and then she said to them, “Now it is time for you to learn how to die and to depart from the fear of death once and for all.” Our Lady said, “My Mother, into the grace of your womb I surrender my spirit.” In this way, calmly and with grace, Our Lady shed the body.
—  “Death of Mary Magdalene”, Secret Gospel of St. Mary by Tau Malachi.

anonymous asked:

4 ZSJ 💖

“Does he take care of you? Or could I fill his shoes?”

You damn near jumped out of your skin as someone settled beside you, sitting close enough for their long legs to brush up against you. You’d known of Zack, How could you not, he had been a fixture at PWG for years. You’d been there on occasion with… whatever Chuck was to you. Each time, his words had been polite and friendly, but his eyes… His eyes always seemed to make you quiver.

“You almost gave me a heart attack. How can you ask that?”

The words that left your mouth were hushed, Chuck was in the ring goofing off with Trent and Joey and you knew that if he saw you looking cozy with Zack in any sort of manner, it would lead to an argument that you just didn’t want to have again. 

Zack’s hazel eyes were dark and mischievous, like he knew something you didn’t and he was just dying to share.

“I was in room 502 last night. If I’m not mistaken, you and Taylor were in 503 right?”

You could feel the flush light up your face and Zack chuckled, before casually draping a long arm across the back of your chair, his fingers trailing along the exposed skin of your shoulders, gooseflesh erupting in the wake of his touch.

“I can promise you that you won’t be left… unsatisfied like you were last night.”

anonymous asked:

Hey is there any advice you could give to cheer me up? I tried to do a good thing and ask nicely if someone could credit the artists and they said no it was too hars to track thw artist so I gave them some of the people I knew that made the art and they blocked me. Like, I was really super duper nice about it and they made me feel terrible about it. I just, need a pick me up I guess?

don’t take it to heart, bud. some people just doesn’t want to put in the effort to credit an artist. that’s shitty and that happens.
i’m pretty sure any of the mentioned artists would appreciate your intentions a whole lot though. i sure would. if you approach someone reposting stuff in a reasonable manner, and they still act rude about it, there’s nothing for you to feel bad for.

There is currently a content creator blackout in my fandom, and seeing all those posts about art theft brought back some memories.

(Go and read @hchano​‘s brilliant post, by the way. I’d have replied to it but then my reply turned into a novella.)

The art theft stories resonate with me, you have no idea.

You know, if someone was to check my ‘rules’ pages right now, they’d see this:

Fanart: 
I don’t care about reposts, don’t worry if you spot my drawings somewhere else

Now, it might look like I’m super chill about this. That I’m not 'whining’ like those artists who 'care too much, it’s just drawings’.

The truth is I don’t care because I haven’t posted an artwork I gave a fuck about since 2011. I do not want to bother with that. It’s thankless. It’s an endless source of stress and discouragement. Why would I spend effort and time when I know the end result is that I’ll be - for lack of a better term - pissed on by entitled jackasses and by thieves?

Story time.

I used to run a flash minigames website. It didn’t have much content, since I had to draw it all myself, and figure out how actionscript worked, and so on. Still, I put ads on that website, and not only did it pay for itself, it brought me a tiny bit of income too! For my own content that I had made myself, just imagine! I planned to make that little site grow and grow until it could support me and drag me out of the hell that is unemployment.

It’d see cute stories on Stumbleupon by parents who said their toddler had loved the games. That made me super happy. It was real nice for a while.

And then I got an email from a girl in Israel telling me she had seen my art sold as coloring books in her area.

That was a blow.

I mean, I’m literally an artist by trade. I have a diploma to prove it and all. I’d have loved to get paid for my art, seeing how I couldn’t fucking find a job using those skills that were apparently good enough for commercial use.

But I kept the site up for a little while, as well as my profiles on art websites, though I barely updated them. I’d ignore the thieves that sold IMVU stuff with my art on it. I’d pay no mind to the brats who sold it on Gaia Online, because it was just virtual coin. I tried to ignore the fact that some of my stuff got popular under someone else’s name.

Just drawings, right?

Anyway, my flash games could be stolen. Actually, in the general sense, it was pretty much the goal. There was my website’s logo on them, a direct link. Having them redistributed meant traffic coming back to my site, and advertising income for me.

Can you see where this is going?

Back then, there was a flash game monetization network, called MochiAds. It was cool. It allowed you to insert ads into your games, and a great many flash games websites would import MochiAds’ feed, which made for a fast and widespread distribution of the games. It was a neat service.

Except someone decompiled my games, replaced my logo by theirs, inserted ads inside them and published them as their own.

Within hours, you could google the new names the thief had given to my games, and get 500.0000 results. Accounting for all of my games, that made for millions of reposts, all of them defaced, linking to the thief’s website, monetized by them.

Of course, MochiMedia responded quickly when I reported the theft, but their disabling the ads on those games didn’t remove them from the thousands of independent websites they were posted on.

I never made another flash game.

As a matter of fact, I no longer draw.

I was never in it just for the fun. I wanted the rewards. I wanted to make art my full-time job. Hell, I went to school for that. I wanted the compensation for my effort and time. I wanted my website to grow from the 'sustains itself’ to 'sustains me’ size.

And then I realized that people could snap their fingers and steal it all. Make me look like I had plagiarized my own work. Bury me in stolen content.

I learned that, on the internet, there was no point giving your heart and soul to something you can’t nail in place.

And, more than anything, I learned to hate drawing.

But, hey! Look at the bright side! Now that I gave up on drawing, nobody will steal my art anymore!

Isn’t that great? :)

Married with Benefits (Part 10)

Summary: In order to not pay out-of-state tuition, you ask your friend, Steve Rogers, to marry you. Things, as always, never go as planned. (College AU)

Word Count: 930

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

A/N: Here is my inbox for you to scream into. :)

Originally posted by whatwasdead


The next day, Steve had to go to work and you asked him if he could drop you off at campus, wanting to explore more of what your future school offered. He said goodbye with a kiss to your cheek and you tried not to let your thoughts dwell on it too much as you walked around the nearly-empty buildings of the large university.

The next few days were filled with applications you had to fill out, make sure you had the right schedule, and even looking for a job to pass the time and get a little money from whilst you were studying in the city. Steve didn’t bring up kissing again and you inwardly denied that it disappointed you.

Keep reading

twilit-tragedy  asked:

Oh my god, I have to say this: your recent undercut!Kenma gave me the strength to live for 120+ years (because hOLY F-). Also, I love "It Stings"! I've turned on notifs so I never miss a page aaaaah <3 tl;dr: I love your art and have a good day!

If you liked that, then you might also like:

No but seriously I’m swimming in my hair au’s

Thanks for all the compliments, really warm my heart,
I’ll have some new comic pages up soon! (●´□`)♡

You too, have a great day~!

Aisles [m]

Aisle Three

Summary: Jungkook was your best friend. You held onto his secrets. And he knew all of yours. Except for one. One that would change your friendship forever. You were in love with him.

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Genre: bestfriend!au, college!au, angst, smut

Word Count: 5,802

Originally posted by sugutie

Aisle One Aisle Two Aisle Three

Surprisingly, it was easy for you to lie yourself and to everyone around you. Flashing a smile anytime someone around you asked you how you were doing. The layers of concealer under your eyelids hiding more than the lack of sleep. You tried to keep yourself busying, burying yourself under piles of books and notes to occupy your mind with anything but Jungkook and how he wrinkled his nose when he smiled.

 In a very strange way you found solace in the amount of schoolwork that was piling up in the pages of your planner. Exams, research papers, and presentations were keeping you out of the house and inside the walls of the library. You were regretting your schedule for this semester, but with the MCAT looming you couldn’t afford to take any risks. Medical school was the light at the end of the tunnel, and not even a bunny toothed boy was enough to keep you distracted.

 Hoseok however, had a problem with the fact that you should probably start paying rent to the librarian. He missed you, constantly sending you reminders to eat and drink water during the hours you were studying. You had regretted the night you told him that you hadn’t eaten since 7 in the morning and 45 minutes later a freckled teenager came into the library with the largest bag of Chinese takeout you had ever seen. And your name was scribbled on the front.

Y/N 9:35 PM: Hobi, I appreciate the thought but can you please stop sending me food while I am in the library.

Hoseok 9: 47 PM: I’ll stop sending you food when you actually sleep in your bed, for once

Sighing, you throw your phone back down on the table. He had a point. You hadn’t slept underneath sheets in weeks. By the time you got home from school you were too tired to make it your bedroom. Every morning waking up regretting the fact that you had decided to buy the lumpiest couch known to man. You knew that this wouldn’t last. That eventually you wouldn’t be able to hide behind the excuses of academics to avoid having a life. You were going to burn out.

But two days later you found yourself in the same position.

Keep reading

Mister Hockey and the boy crying in the kitchen

(complete version)

Alternate Universe where Bitty is a figure skater at Samwell. He and Jack meet for the first time at #Epikegster 2014.

warning labels: Alcohol, mentioned homophobia, Parse. 


 Jack went down the stairs with a huff of annoyance. The first floor of the Haus was packed from wall to wall. Loup thumping music, laughter and yells that were barely tolerable from his room now seemed almost tangible, crushing him from all sides. He could already feel the beginnings of a headache.

 He pushed his way through and managed to reach the kitchen unscated. Only three guys were sitting at the table, loudly debating Plato’s cavern versus the Matrix, and another was leaning on the counter near the stove, muttering to himself.

Jack opened a cupboard, swore under his breath when he saw that it was empty of their usual mugs, glasses and bottles. He took a new red solo cup from the enormous pack available to all, and filled it with tap water, trying to ignore the guys at the table.

 ‘…aren’t you the most precious thing, baby…’

 Jack turned around. The guy next to the oven was muttering endearments with a southern drawl- but there was no one next to him. He wasn’t even holding a phone.

 Jack had a doubt. Was the guy talking to him?

 ‘Yes, you are lovely, a bit old, but I would love you, and take care of you, and create glorious things with you, oh sweetheart, if only…’

 The guy was not talking to Jack. He was talking to the oven.

 He was also, apparently, completely drunk.

 ‘… better things than pizza rolls, you can be sure of that, you sexy thing…’

 Jack was a moment away from heading back to his room when he heard a sob.

 ‘… but it’s not to be, pretty thing, you and I will have to go our own separate ways and- sniffle- get with our own lonely lives and - oh lord, I’m being ridiculous-’

 ‘Huh-’ started Jack. ‘Are you okay?’

 The guy turned around. He looked older than Jack expected. At least, he seemed to be over eighteen. Jack only had an impression of eyes and blond before he got the drunkest and fakest smile he ever saw in his life.

 ‘HI!’ said the boy. ‘Gosh, you’re big.’

‘… are you okay?’ repeated Jack.

 ‘Why, yes, of course! I’m peachy!’

 ‘You’re crying.’

 The guy seemed surprised by this fact. He dried his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and made a dismissive gesture with his other hand.

 ‘Don’t mind me, sweetheart, I’m being silly.’

 ‘…You were crying,’ insisted Jack. ‘And talking to the oven.’

 ‘Well, no one else seemed to give her love, so I figured-’

 He stopped himself and looked at Jack.

 ‘You’re the Captain of the hockey team,’ he realised. ‘This is your house. This is your oven.’

 ‘…Yes? In a manner of speaking?’

 ‘What’s her name?’

 ‘Whose name?’

 ‘The OVEN,’ insisted the guy.

 ‘She- it doesn’t have a name?’

 ‘Blasphemy. If I had the chance to own such a lovely baby, I would name her something adorable! Like Daisy, or Betsy, and I would bake everyday, I would make pies and cookies and biscuits and-’

 He burst into tears.

 Jack threw a look around. The guys at the table were staring at them.

 ‘Dude, what’d you do to him?’

 ‘Nothing!’

 ‘D’you break up with him or something?’

 ‘No! We just met! He was talking about the oven- and then- and then-’

 He made a helpless motion towards the crying boy.

 ‘Maybe you should do something about it?’ suggested one of them.

 ‘Like what?’

 ‘Dunno. Something. To make him stop crying.’

 Jack hesitated. He thought about retreating to the safety of his room, where the music didn’t hurt his ears and blonde strangers didn’t burst into tears at the sight of a kitchen appliance.

 Awkwardly, he lifted a hand and patted the guy’s shoulder.

 ‘…there, there,’ he muttered, feeling like the most ridiculous man on Earth.

 He got several thumbs ups from the table residents. Which didn’t help his predicament at all. The boy was still crying.

 ‘Hey, hey, shh, don’t cry, everything is going to be okay…’

 ‘You don’t know that!’ wailed the blonde boy.

 ‘Okay, you’re right. Maybe, huh, what could make it right?’

 ‘I want to BAAAAAAAAAKE!’


(more under the cut!)

Keep reading

Married with Benefits (Part 12)

Summary: In order to not pay out-of-state tuition, you ask your friend, Steve Rogers, to marry you. Things, as always, never go as planned. (College AU)

Word Count: 861

“Married with Benefits” Masterlist 

Originally posted by skywalkersleia-archive


He ignored Bucky’s calls on his way back, his mind only focusing on you. Steve wanted to be close to you, wanted to hold you, wanted to be with you. There was no one else, there never had been. Sure, he had dated a few girls in college, but you had always stuck to the back of his mind and he was positive his relationships had been purposely tanked by himself because of his feelings for you.

He snorted. Personal sabotage. Who knew?

He opened your photo message again and looked at you, marveling at the sheer beauty of you. You were angelic, from your acne blemishes, to the small chicken pox scar you had under your right eye.

Keep reading

Little Things

MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my very bad attempt at something cute, but you know… Fluff isn’t my best. Also a bit different from what I’ve done in the past, so feedback would be great. I messed up the months, I’m aware. 

Word count: 3,365

Pickering, Canada
April 2024

Keep reading

But I guess you made me realize that I had just so much love to give.
And I know you aren’t to blame,
for we cannot control those who fall for us.
But my heart is a roaring ocean.
How it burnt passion across me like a flame.
How it burst into a billion stars when it found you.
For I gave you every inch of myself.
How I offered you my universe ,as you softly traced your fingers across the stars.
How you worshiped the moon yet you never called her ‘yours’.
And I still gave you everything,even if you never loved me back.
—  Thoughts On Giving Too Much // Conee Berdera
Heart Rate!

Harry was on Grimmy’s show once again, for like the millionth time. It wasn’t a special occasion, at least as far as Harry knew. Nick had told him he just wanted to check in with him, let people know what he was up to. It was unusual, but what in their relationship wasn’t.

Of course you had joined him and were now sitting behind the glass, seperating the audio booth from the control room.

“Now, I brought back a friend of yours, because you enjoyed it so much the last time.”, Grimmy was currently telling Harry with a laugh.

Harry groaned when he saw the heart rate monitor.

“Not again.”, he said, shaking his head and shooting you a look, silently calling for help.

You just laughed, while nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. Lou put a hand on your shoulder, soothing you.

“It’ll be fine, hun.”, she told you, giving you an encouraging smile.

You nodded hastily. You were glad the monitor wasn’t hooked up to you right now, because you were certain your heart rate would tell everyone just how nervous you actually were.

“Let’s start with something simple.”, Nick said, after Harry had been prepared and the monitor was ready.

He held up a picture of a puppy, making Harry smile.

“Cute.”, he chuckled.

“Staying steady in the face of an adorable puppy.”, Grimmy commented for the benefit of those listening at home.

“I’m more of a cat person.”, Harry explained.

They both looked at you and you nodded in affirmation.

“Well then.”

Grimmy continued with a few more pictures that barely had an affect on Harry, which to you wasn’t suprising, since you had been the one to pick the pictures.

Finally things got interesting when it came to the next picture.

“Aah, beautiful, wonderful.”, he turned it to Harry, “What about your lovely fiancée?”

Harry grinned and the numbers on the monitor went up quite a bit, to a good 95.

You smiled at him through the glass as his eyes found yours.

“Still makes my heart beat faster.”, Harry said, more to you than to anyone.

You blew him a kiss.

“Ugh, too much cheesiness, let’s move on.”

You held your breath.

“Now, Harold, what do you think of this?” Grimmy turned the next picture.

Harry frowned for a moment, then his eyes widened.

“Is that…?”, he stuttered, looking from Nick to you again.

You smiled broadly and gave a nod.

“Oh my gosh!”

The monitor gave a loud beeping, because Harry’s heart rate was through the roof.

“This, ladies and gentlemen, is Harry Styles’ reaction to realizing he’s gonna be a dad.”, Grimmy explained, turning the picture so the camera could see it. It was a sonogram of yours and Harry’s first child.

Harry had tears in his eyes and broke out in a hysterical fit of laughter, covering his eyes with his hand and turning from the microphone.

“Oh gosh.”

When he came back up, he shook his head with a laugh.

“I hate you all so much.”, he said, with a glance over at you and his friends behind the glass.

You were laughing as well, tears in your eyes.

“Well, go on! Go kiss your baby mama!”, Grimmy told him.

He didn’t have to tell Harry twice. He jumped up, ran for the door and into the control room. You had barely gotten up, when he already scooped you up and gave you a bone crushing hug. You slapped his arms.

“Watch it! Don’t squish the baby.”, you reprimanded him with a laugh.

He immediately let go, just gently holding onto your shoulders.

“I love you so much.”, he said, then kissed you with a smile.

Rotten Judgement - part 8

AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Hercules!AU After selling your soul to save your lover’s life, you become one of the Lord of the Underworld’s slave. Bucky is obsessed with one thing: collecting hearts. But why?

Word Count:1,997 (see what I did there?)

Warnings: the usual + Blood, Mention of Torture 

A/N: The final chapter. Thank you all for your feedback, you literally tricked me into writing more ;) I adore you guys ♥ There’s an epilogue coming this Sunday bc it was already super long. 

Rotten Judgement - Masterpage

“People do crazy things… when they’re in love.”

Nat gave Bucky a curt nod as she slowly closed the door. He stared at the closed door for a long moment, trying to understand the meaning behind her words.

Was she taunting him? Surely you couldn’t have sacrificed your life unless you truly loved him. He started pacing back and forth as he talked to himself.

“You are, by far, the most stubborn person I have ever met,” Bucky groaned, talking to your lifeless body. “If I say ‘black’, you say ‘white.’ You never listen. It’s like you enjoy winding me up or something.”

Keep reading

Warm Me Up pt 22

Songs I listened to: Mercy- Shawn Mendes, The Reason- Hoobastank, Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson, Love You Goodbye- One Direction, What Hurts The Most- Rascal Flatts, Breakeven- The Script

Click Here for Ch. 1

Click Here for Ch. 21

There was one ceiling tile that wasn’t completely aligned with the others. It had been driving Nico crazy since he woke up. But he found himself staring at it anytime he was alone. Which was often. Aside from the nurses and doctors that checked on him, no one else came in.

Ever since Will’s outburst, Nico had asked to keep visitors away. He couldn’t bring himself to tell his friends what had happened. Surely they’d heard it too. Surely they’d heard all the things Will said, all the things he’d called him.

The moment kept replaying in his head as he stared at the tile. Over and over. Even when he slept, he didn’t get a break from it. In the back of his mind, the shouts were still echoing.

“Ready to go home today?” Dr. Ass- something asked him. Nico shrugged. “I suggest you stay away from alcohol. You’re too young to give yourself liver damage.”

Nico rolled his eyes and pulled at the ends of his hair. “Yeah, well. Easy for you to say. You have your life made. Nothing to run away from. I’m trying to run away from everything.”

“Everything?” the doctor asked.

“I’m not suicidal,” he snapped, knowing that if he said the wrong thing, he’d have to stay longer and get checked into a psych ward. “I’m just saying… drinking stops the thinking. It always has. So I drink enough to forget.”

“Well what were you trying to forget this time? Because obviously it didn’t work until you reached unconsciousness.” Nico averted his gaze and stared at the IV in his arm. “Alright then. I hope I don’t have to see you back here with the same problem, Nico.” He nodded and watched as the doctor removed the IV and gave him some regular clothes that Percy and Annabeth had brought in for him.

Keep reading

My Best Friend

AU!College Roommates. As your best friend, Bucky was determined to look out for you and if that meant offering you a place to stay indefinitely, so be it. 


Pairing: Tol!Bucky Barnes x Smol!Reader
Warnings: Some profanity. Also. We’re all fucked.
Author’s Note: gUYS PREPARE TO GET WRECKED. But not with this chapter.

It was just a routine walk home with Bucky when you admitted you’ve been struggling to pay your rent since your former employer shut down his sandwich shop a few weeks ago. 

He had blanched and immediately prepared a mental list of questions and options to explore, but your enthusiastic grin made the words die in his throat.

How could you look so damned innocent and sweet with just one smile?

“I found a nightclub to work at, and they even offered to hire me right then and there at the bar! I won’t have to worry anymore!” you cheered, happily placing your soft hands over your heart. “Isn’t that exciting?”

Bucky’s eyebrow twitched, and his jaw clicked at the thought of you serving drunken idiots with nothing but a counter to protect you. His languid stride came to a halt and he turned to gaze at you.

What were you thinking?

You were the most troublesome, innocent, caring, attractive woman he knew and you wanted to work at a nightclub bar? Where men would definitely try and do anything to attain your attention?

No. Hell no. Over his dead fucking body.

You slowed to stand beside your best friend.

The dark, rare sardonic look he bestowed on you made you flinch, and your grin slipped as you tilted your chin down and looked away.

“…is t-there something wrong?” you whispered quietly, fiddling with the frayed end of your navy blue shirt. There must be, because you rarely ever inspired the look he was drilling into the side of your face in that very tense moment.

“Yes,” he muttered grumpily. “There is something very wrong with you possibly working at a bar, in a nightclub.”

“I also got a job offer at a pub,” you commented, finally meeting his frustrated expression with your own confused one. Maybe a pub would be a better choice?

“That’s almost the same thing,” he bit out through gritted teeth. “And they’re not places you belong.”

You frowned and your brows knitted together. “But it’s not the same…and what do you mean…?”

Gah! See? No self-preservation whatsoever, you couldn’t even piece together why he was so concerned in the first place.

He groaned, and rubbed the back of his ear in agitation. “Look, can’t you find somewhere else? A department store? A vintage shop, anything but a bar?”

You flushed, and Bucky had to will himself to keep breathing amidst the beauty of it.

You were going to kill him. You were absolutely going to be the death of him and he didn’t even think he’d mind as long as it was caused by that very look.

“I could work at a strip club,” you murmured thoughtfully. 

Bucky sobered, and he almost choked on his spit. You weren’t joking. 

You giggled, and sheepishly scratched the back of your wrist. “I mean…not like that, I could be a janitor or something.” 

The sour way he pursed his lips and scrunched his nose hinted that you shouldn’t elaborate any further or even consider it as an option.

Your embarrassed blush extended to your chest and he patiently waited for you to spill whatever naive thought you were entertaining in your mind.

“…I can’t find any of other place, they’re either not hiring…or I’m not good enough…” you mumbled.

If he wasn’t annoyed before, he certainly was now. The anger burning through his veins was absolutely maddening and he hated that the heavy feeling was directed toward you.

“You’re the best person I know,” he declared, grabbing your hand. Your eyes widened, startled by the sudden movement and the conviction behind his words.

“They’re the ones who aren’t good enough, and they don’t deserve you.”

“I..I…” damn you were stuttering again. Leave it to Bucky to just go and throw out compliments in such a matter of fact manner. “T-thank you…” 

“I’m your best friend, and best friends look out for each other’s best interests, and I don’t think you working at any these places would be good for either of us - don’t look at me like that - it would suck for me too because I’d have to be there glaring at men and chasing them away with sticks.”

You laughed, imagining your grumpy best friend waving around a giant stick and loudly threatening anyone that dared look at you pervertedly. 

“That’s not very nice, Bucky,” you chided, glancing down at your joined hands. 

Then your eyes narrowed and you shrugged daintily, appearing genuinely perplexed. “I don’t think anyone would really stare at me, I’m not that pretty.”

“Are you kidding?” he asked incredulously. “You’re stunning.”

There he goes spewing that nonsense again. You lifted your free hand to harshly jab your index finger on his chin, and wrinkled your nose in displeasure. 

“Stop saying stuff like that.”

Despite the painful poke, he sighed wistfully. You were just too cute sometimes, even when you’re exasperated. “I only speak the truth.”

Your cheeks warmed all over again, and you dug your finger harder into his flesh. He grunted and swatted your hand away. “Please don’t choose any these places, it would break my heart.”

He rubbed your knuckles with his thumbs, and when you didn’t immediately respond he glanced down to see you on the verge of tears, head bowed in shame.

 You didn’t want to hurt him, and nothing upset you more than the idea of doing so.

Shocked, he blinked a few times, before registering that there were indeed tears rolling down your cheeks. “N-no don’t cry!” he floundered for a moment before pulling you toward him. 

Within moments his body became a protective shield hiding you away from curious bystanders as you clutched his cotton shirt and softly cried into his chest.

“I won’t be able to pay my rent if I don’t take any of these offers,” you wailed, feeling conflicted. “Everyone lives with their parents or they don’t have space, I don’t have anywhere to go!” 

Your words were muffled, but he understood them anyway and he scowled as he looked out into the distance.

With tuition, rent, and no other financial support coming in other than what you produced yourself he could see why you were so desperate. A lot of people were in your predicament…but…you were his best friend and you didn’t deserve this, or being limited to working at questionable establishments.

He wished you said something sooner, rather than plastering a serene smile on your face everyday. He would have never known the extent of your struggle had you not been ecstatic enough to tell him about the nightclub.

He sighed, and stroked your hair gently a few times, before tracing soothing patterns on your back. He let you sob until the noise was nothing more than periodic hiccups, and then he gently pried you off and held you at arms length.

“You can stay with me for however long you need to, don’t worry about money, rent, food or whatever else.”

Your eyes watered again and you shook your head firmly. “I can’t just..I can’t accept all that!”

Bucky frowned. Why the hell not? “It’s just me, you can have my room, we’ll make it work.”

You looked uncertain, and downright scandalized. 

“But…”

He didn’t want to have to pull the friendship card, but you were being so selflessly stubborn. “You’d do the same for me.”

Your eyes widened, mouth parting in shock, because he’s right. You grudgingly realize what he’s getting at and that he was giving you a way out…but still.

You’re going to protest, and he tiredly closed his eyes. 

“Trust me…I’d rather have you staying with me, than knowing you’re struggling to balance school and paying rent by working at a grungy club…pub…whatever, just please…” 

The raw worry on his face and the coiled tension of his body made you feel guilty. You didn’t want to be a bother, but saying no would probably be even more upsetting for you both. 

And maybe…just maybe this was a chance to finally catch up on your studies with financial worries?

It was a chance you sorely needed. You bit your lip and nibbled on it for an agonizing five minutes.

Finally you nodded. “O-okay,” you clasped one hand over your heart and wiped the edges of your eyes with your forearm. “I promise I’ll repay you somehow!”

You won’t.

He’d never let you, but you didn’t need to know that, it was difficult convincing you to accept his help as it was.

He gave you a noncommittal smile, silently basking in the relief your answer brought him. 

“We’ll worry about that some other time.” He glanced at the darkening sky. “Come on, we’ll get something to eat, and figure out the rest of the logistics.”

He held out his elbow for you like he always did, and your bottom lip trembled as you looped your arm through his. Bucky truly was the best.

You were lucky to have him, and as you both strolled across the street, you mumbled out a tiny, barely audible, ‘Thank you.’


Tbc.  

GUYS ARE YOU FUCKING EXCITED BECAUSE I AM HOLY MOLY.

I feel empty, as if every last string that was holding my fragile bones together all gave out at once. I can’t support these shaking knees anymore, I used to fall into you when my heart started falling out of my chest but you’re bandaging up your own wounds. You have no more bandages to lend me anymore. I should learn to let you go, but I don’t know how to stand up straight without you. I’m sorry one day I’ll learn to say my own name without yours following right after.
Interview: Abby Ramsay

Today we’re joined by Abby Ramsay. Abby is a phenomenal model and actress in LA. She uses her art to raise awareness of issues close to her heart. Her Instagram has recently blown up a bit after she gave an interview about social media. Abby is a fellow ace feminist, which is always awesome to see. She’s incredibly passionate, as you’ll soon read. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.

WORK

Please, tell us about your art.

Well, I am an actress and model out in LA. I show off my work mostly through Instagram. Just creating these images and stories, whether they be moving or still, really gives me this outlet to express my thoughts, feelings, and ideals that I can’t always put into words.  

I like to use my art to bring attention to topics like asexuality, body positivity, feminism, and mental illness as those are all things that are close to me.

I also like combining them. Everything I do is done with the mindset of “just because I am asexual does not mean I am not sexy or desirable.” but also “Just because I am viewed as sexy or desirable does not mean I can’t be asexual.”

What inspires you?

Just the idea that I can use what I love to help people. The industry that I am in has the potential to have your voice be heard by many people all over the world. If I have the opportunity to use my platform to change it for the better then I want to do it.

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

I have been acting since I was about 5 years old. Granted at the time the only reason I was in these musicals was because I was a really good singer at a young age, but they fed my love of storytelling. I would create plays at home and act them out for my parents, and it really blossomed into a passion by middle school. I fought long and hard with my parents (especially my mom) to let me try to get an agent, and they eventually gave in. I was a freshman in High School (2012 I believe) when I was signed with a small agency, and they sent me on my first few jobs. I was in love!

The agency also dealt with modeling, so the first photoshoot I ever did was with them. I was really shy in front of the camera at first. I had dealt with a lot of body positivity issues in the past, but the longer I was in front of the camera the more I enjoyed it. I actually felt really comfortable with myself.

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

Hmmmm. I guess I like to keep things natural. I have never been an over the top character actor (I mean it’s fun, but I have my preferences) so I usually try to take scenes to a more organic place. I do the same thing with my modeling. I always try to get a few pictures that represent me. There’s this idea that when you are modeling you can never smile and you always have to be sultry, but when I am working and talking to the photographer I like to smile and laugh and just be myself. Those end up being some of the best pictures.

I also do this hand on head leaning back pose a LOT. My friends give me a hard time about it haha. But it’s like my signature pose now I guess.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

It is not going to be easy, but with hard work, dedication, and a little bit of luck you can make your art your life.

ASEXUALITY

Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I usually just say I am asexual, but for me that means that I don’t find people sexually attractive, and I am just not interested in sex. I’m not sex repulsed and I am aesthetically and romantically attracted to people, but I would much rather kiss and cuddle than have sex.

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

There have been a couple instances. When you have your work online, you usually get some not so pleasant remarks from people. You get people who want to “fix you” you which is the one that bothers me the most.

But even outside the internet, I have had some encounters that have been less than ideal. I had a teacher at my college basically say that I was too pretty to be asexual and that it would be a waste. I know she didn’t mean it the way it came out, but it’s one of the reasons we need more visibility.

I also had a fellow acting student come to the conclusion that she did not like me because she thought asexuality was stupid. I never quite understood the logic behind that.

And it’s also hard, especially in acting, because Hollywood is so sexed up that there is just this assumption that every character interaction is because they want to bone.

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

OK, the idea that “you just haven’t found the right person yet” or “you won’t know unless you try” pisses me off. I have gotten both and my general response to that is “you could give me a cheap piece of raw fish or a $200 piece of raw fish, it doesn’t chance that fact that I don’t like raw fish.” and “I have never been shot before, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy that either.”

There is also the idea that if you have a mental illness or if you have been in an abusive relationship or raped that your asexuality is just a byproduct. You know, whether it is or isn’t that shouldn’t make their identity any less legitimate.

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

You are not broken. I promise you. Your feelings are completely normal. You are a valid part of the LGBTQIA community, and though we may be a smaller group, we are full of love, no matter where we fall on the spectrum. Just be yourself.

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

My Instagram is abbysworldsastage.

Thank you, Abby, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

One Thing Missing- Peter Parker One Shot

Pairing: Peter Parker X Reader

Prompt: Peter forgets about your birthday. (Based on The Moment I Knew by Taylor Swift)

Word Count: 1600

A/N: SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING SPOILER FREE!!! (And this is unedited)

~~~

“Morning, Y/N.” Ned greeted you as you arrived at your locker before school. Being locker neighbors with your close friend kept communication during passing periods a lot easier.

“Hey, Ned.” You smiled, opening your locker up to exchange your books.

“Did you do the Spanish homework? I couldn’t figure out #12.” Ned asked.

“Yeah, that one was tricky. I’ll help you with it at lunch.” You stated.

“You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.” He said, making you laugh. He looked farther down the hall behind, “Oh, looks like someone woke up extra early.” You turned to see where his eyes had landed. Peter was making his way down the crowded hallway with a small, but bright bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Good morning, Y/N, Ned.” Peter said, arriving in front of the two of you.

“Who are the flowers for?” Ned asked in a teasing tone and Peter looked over at you.

“They’re for you, Y/N. Um, for your birthday.” He stated, holding them out to you.

“Thank you, Peter. They’re beautiful.” You smiled, taking them from him before sniffing them delicately.

“Well, uh, May suggested them, but yeah, uh, you’re welcome.” He laughed awkwardly and then coughed to clear his throat, “Happy early birthday.”

“Thank you. You’ll still be able to make it tomorrow, right? The Stark internship hasn’t commandeered your Saturday night?” You asked, worried your best friend and crush was going to leave you on your special day and make up for it with early flowers.

“I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Y/N. The flowers are just an early gift.” Peter said, making you smile in relief. The bell rang and you turned around to shut your locker.

“Well, we better get to class.” Ned said, raising his eyebrows at Peter, to which Peter just brushed them off.

“Class, right.” Peter mumbled.

~~~

The next day, you were waiting with your eye on the door. You heard three quick knocks on the door and you immediately stood up. You smoothed out your party dress and checked your red lipstick in the mirror, before answering the door. You opened it to find Ned smiling back at you.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.” Ned grinned, handing you a wrapped gift.

“Thank you, Ned.” You smiled, hugging him. You stepped back, allowing him to walk inside.

“Am I the first one?” He asked. You nodded as you closed your front door and set the gift on a nearby table.

“Yeah. You’re here early too.” You laughed. He looked down at his watch and shook his head.

“Only by a minute. I would call that perfect timing.” Ned adjusted his party hat as another knock came from the door. You quickly went to grab it.

“Happy birthday!” Liz smiled, holding up a gift bag.

“Thank you, Liz.” You beamed, moving to the side to let her in. As more guests arrived, you kept your eye on the door, just waiting for Peter to walk in.

“Y/N!” Liz’s voice made you snap out of your thoughts.

“Yes?” You asked.

“How have you been? I didn’t see you at all yesterday.” You gave her a half-hearted reply, mumbling that you’ve been fine. You felt too empty to talk to her right now. You combed back through your memory, remembering exactly how Peter said he’d be here tonight and that he wouldn’t miss it.

~~~

As the hours passed by, everyone merged into the living room, laughing at the current conversation. You looked around the room and you found one thing missing: Peter. You just wanted to be alone. Silently, you slipped out of the room and into the hall.

“Y/N?” You heard Ned’s voice ask from behind you, “Is something wrong?”

“No, I-” Your voice cracked, betraying you. You cleared your throat and tried again, “I’m fine, Ned. Just go back to the party.” You said before hurrying off to the bathroom. You closed the door and rested your back against it. You tried not to fall apart as the sinking feeling started.

“He said he’d be here.” You tell yourself hopelessly. You looked back at yourself in the mirror and let out a dry laugh. Here you were in a party dress in red lipstick with no one to impress. There was a knock from the other side of the door and you inhaled a shaky breath.

“Yes?” You answered.

“Y/N, please let me in.” Ned said quietly. You sighed as the tears began to grow in your eyes. You unlocked the door and slowly opened it.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He mumbled, holding out his arms to hug you. You let out a sob as you welcomed his embrace. You cried onto Ned’s shoulder, Peter’s promise echoing in your mind like a broken record. “It’s okay, Y/N. You’ve still got us.” Ned whispered in your ear. You pulled back and wiped your eyes as best you could without completely screwing up your makeup. Looking over Ned’s shoulders, you could see your guests standing at the end of the hall, watching you with sasd eyes. You were speechless- after all, what do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know?

“Cake time!” Ned announced, in attempt to draw the attention off your scene. Your guests shuffled off to the kitchen and Ned gave you a pitiful look. You struggled to smile for him. You followed him down the hall to your kitchen, where your cake was already out and ready.

“All right, let’s sing. One, two, three,” Ned lead everyone in singing ‘Happy Birthday to you’. At the end of the song, you looked back at the door one last time. Still no Peter. You turned back to the cake and you closed your eyes.

“I wish Peter was here.” You thought to yourself as you blew out the candles. Everyone cheered and Ned took the candles out of the cake. As he cut into it to serve your guests, you glanced at the door. Your heart had hit rock bottom- Peter wasn’t there, Peter had forgotten your birthday.

~~~

“May, I’m home.” Peter said, walking into their apartment. He shut the door and placed his keys in his pocket.

“Hey, how was it?” May greeted with a smile from her seat in the living room.

“It was good.” Peter replied with a nod, “I’m just super tired, so I’m going to head to bed.”

“Tired, huh?” She asked with slight smirk, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah,” He answered, confused.

“Okay, well. Good night, Peter, but I want to hear all about it in the morning.” She said, kissing the top of his head gently. Peter cluelessly nodded before heading to his bedroom. He closed the door and took off his shoes.

“I thought I lost you.” Peter laughed lightly to himself, looking at his cellphone that was resting on his desk beside him. He picked it up and saw five missed calls from Ned and several texts from him. Worried, Peter quickly read through the texts:

‘Peter, where are you?’ ‘Really? Spider-Man right now? Not cool, dude.’ ‘You’re in deep trouble now.’ ‘Y/N was CRYING because you ditched her on her BIRTHDAY. C’mon, Peter!’

“Y/N!” Peter exclaimed, nearly dropping his phone. He had gotten so distracted fighting crime all day that he didn’t even realize what today actually was. He missed the birthday of his best friend, of the most important person in his life, of the girl he absolutely loved; he missed your birthday. Running to his closet, Peter found the gift he had gotten you. He removed his Spider-Man suit from his backpack and replaced it with your gift. He carefully climbed out of his window and made his way through Queens to your house. He could see your silhouette as you sat at your vanity. Peter got onto the fire escape and tapped on your window. Confused, you stood up and moved your blinds. Seeing Peter, you scoffed. You slowly opened your window as you wiped your tears off of your face.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Peter said, crawling through your window to stand in your room.

“I’m sorry too, Peter.” You replied, making him look at you in confusion. You let out a restrained laugh, “Yeah, I-I am sorry. I just can’t do this anymore. It was one thing having you bail out on me when it was just us studying together, but it’s another thing to completely leave me on my birthday. No text, no call, nothing. Just a party spent with me waiting for you. Do you know what it’s like getting all dressed up, but being met with no one to impress? What was I supposed to do when the one who means the most to me is the one who didn’t show? You were the one thing missing, Peter.“

“You got dressed up for me?” Peter asked in disbelief and you shamefully nodded, “You don’t have to dress up to impress me, Y/N. I love you the way you are. Even now in jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup on and tears in your eyes, you’re beautiful. I could never ask for more. I love you and everything you are.”

“You love me?” You said in barely above a whisper.

“Very much so.” He nodded, “I truly am sorry for forgetting your birthday, not coming to your party, making you wait-” Peter was cut off by you placing your lips over his. After a moment, you pulled back to find him in shock.

“I love you too, Peter- very much so.” You giggled, kissing him again.

sungmin1206:

Hello this is Sungmin.
Due to several situation, I’m here to greet you guys after a long time. 
Firstly, I’m sorry for worrying the fans.
There has been talks that weren’t nice these days because of me and because these are things that I cannot judge and take action on my own.. I’m sorry for giving such a late reply. Because of that, I’ve always felt sad and sorry about it.
Looking back from the process of preparing for my marriage, from a position as an idol who has grown from the love from many fans for over 10 years, it seems like I’ve disregard the fact that I should not (have handled it) in a general way.
To the fans that felt hurt because I didn’t manage to give more careful consideration and  a truthful position at the time when it is needed, and the people who felt  betrayed from the baseless misunderstanding and rumors which grew bigger like a snowball, I feel that there should have been a more active communication (between us).
Even though they are activities that I’ve wanted to do with the members that I’ve anticipated so much everyday while I was in the army, with the heart of earnestly hoping that this important album for Super Junior will do well, I’ve decided not to participate in the activities this time.
As a member of Super Junior, I want Super Junior to receive love for a long time. In order for that, with the current situation of my ongoing controversy, I think it is the right decision to think of Super Junior first and I think that me not participating in the album this time is for the sake of the team’s path. It is an important comeback for everyone this time round so I don’t want to make it as situation that because of me, our ELF will not be to support us with all their hearts.
Sorry to the fans who gave me love and supported me but I think I need to have more time and work harder.
ELF, I hope that you will support Super Junior’s comeback this time round with all your hearts and please continue to watch us.

Label SJ Respond:

Hello, this is Label SJ (SM Entertainment).
This is our statement regarding Sungmin’s post today about his activities.
Label SJ has decided to respect Sungmin’s decision not to participate in Super Junior’s album.
From the beginning, Super Junior was created as a group that could be flexible with its members, and as a result, Super Junior has seen love and success across the globe, able to promote in a variety of ways.
Super Junior is currently preparing for an album, with hopes to release it in October, and the label is doing its best to help Super Junior carry out promotions that are better than ever before.
Though Sungmin isn’t participating in the album this time around, Label SJ will fully support all of Sungmin’s future activities.
Thank you to all the fans who have loved Super Junior for so long, and we ask for your continued love and support for all of the Super Junior members.” © ©