but i dont even go out so i will probably never

What is a story you have been dying to tell?

When I was 15 years old, I ran away from home because I was pissed off at my parents for a reason I cant remember. I didnt have much money, so I decided to hop onto the skytrain(public transport train in British Columbia) and ride it as far as it would go. I reached the end of the line in less then an hour, and decided I wanted to ride it all the way back again, while trying to formulate some kind of plan of how I wanted to live the rest of my life without my parents or anyone. At the last stop, or the first stop depending on your perspective of it, a girl came on and sat in the row right behind me. I didnt pay much attention to her at first, as I was busy writing my life plan on a napkin. It was a few minutes later that she got up and came sat next to me, curious as to what I was writing. I told her the story, and after a few laughs, we began talking about everything and anything. Her name was Amanda, 17 years old, and absolutely wonderful. She told me she was getting off at the last stop, which was also the first stop, depending on how you look at it. It was also the stop I had gotten on originally, and I told her we would ride to it together. The train ride took less then an hour, and what a wonderful hour indeed.

When the last stop did come, we both knew we probably wouldnt see each other ever again(this was before the days of cellphones, and I was a shy little kid afraid to make moves). As we got to the end of the sidewalk which split in two different directions, she went right and I went left. Before saying goodbye she turned to me and asked me a question that has become a wonderful part of my life; she asked me, “Tell me something you have done, or want to do, that you think I should do? It can be anything, as challenging as you want it to be, or as easy. As long as you give me the rest of my life to complete it, I promise I will do it..” I was confused as to why, but I thought about it, and told her, “Sing a song acapella in a room full of strangers.” She said perfect and asked me if I would like a challenge as well. I told her I did, and she told me, “read, from start to finish, “Ulysses” by James Joyce.” I had never heard of it at the time, but I agreed, and we said our goodbyes.

I have a awful memory, and cant remember most conversations I have with most people. But I remember all of that clearly. You know why? Because of the challenge she gave me. In the 12 years that have past since, I have tried to read that book in over 150 different sittings. Everytime I open my copy of the 780 page monster of a book, I always think of her, and I always think of that day. Ive never been sure if it was her intent or not, but she left her lasting memory on me with that challenge. I soon after learned what she did, was a completey wonderful and amazing thing for me. So I decided to keep it going. Ive met a lot of strangers in my life; some that have become friends, and some, due to living in different time zones and whatnot, didnt. I dont want to just have experiences and then let them go. I want to remember these meetings, and embrace the fact that they happened. So whenever I leave someone who has left an amazing impact of my life, I always make sure to add them to my Ulysses Bucket List. I ask them to give me a challenge, as difficult or as easy as they want it to be, and regardless of the fact that they have done it or not; simply something their heart has had wanted to do.

Some have been easy and fun; I met a man in India 9 years ago who told me to, for a week or a month, cook/buy twice as much food as I intend on eating, and give the other half to a stranger in need. I completed that mission 8 years ago, and thought about that man and the time we had all the way through. I met a girl on a cruise 6 years ago, who told me to jump into a body of water on a slightly cold day, without touching or feeling the temperature of the water first. I did that the very same year. I met a couple at an outdoor music festival a few years ago that told me to wear the most bizarre outfit imaginable and walk through a public place, completely oblivious to the fact that you arent looking normal. I did that task the very next day, at the same festival. Some have been difficult, to say the least: three guys I met in Amsterdam and smoked all night with, told me to go to a mall and give 10 strangers 10 presents. That one took a lot of courage, but I did it a year or so after I met them. It was nerve racking, but at the same time exhilerating leaving my comfort zone. A girl I met on a plane told me to sky dive; Im still in the process of getting that done. A couple I met in Cali on the beach told me to tell the 5 people I hated the most, that I love them and respect them. That one was very difficult because of my stubborness, but ive come close to completing that list many a times(still in the process, 2 more people to go).

And some things, have had an everlasting impact on my daily life. I met a girl at a music festival, who told me that whenever I get mad at someone, walk away, sing my happy song in my head for 5 minutes, go back to the person im mad at with a clam heart and mind, and work things out. Ive made this my way of life. I once met a man at a gym in a hotel I was staying at, that told me “whenever your body and brain tells your that you are exhausted and done…use your heart instead and push out 2 more reps.” Ive made this my motto when working out or working on any kind of extrenuating exercise in which my body demands me to quit. I also use it while working on anything, and while studying. One of the best pieces of advice ive ever received.

There are many others that each brought joy to my life. There are still many tasks I have yet to accomplish, and everytime I think of these tasks, I think of the people that gave them to me. It amazes me how well I remember all these people, while I cant remember so many aspects of even yesterday. These experiences, not only do I take from them a “mission” or a “challenge”, I also take from them a memory of them that never fails to appear inside of my mind. I opened my Ulysses book for probably the 300th time yesterday, and read a few pages, which prompted me to share this story with you today. Im in the final 30 pages of the book, also known as the most dreaded of the read(in the last 40 pages or so, James Joyce doesnt use a single punctuation mark; no periods, no commas, no nothing; a straight 50 page run-on sentence).

I never saw Amanda after that day, nor do I know if she ever did get a chance to sing a song to a room full of strangers. But what I do know, is that she gave me a gift that has never once stopped giving. So wherever you may be, thank you for giving me the Ulysses Bucket List. And I swear i’ll finish it one day. My life advice? Simple: Create your own Ulysses bucket list.

the main difference between male and female

Aries: a female aries is lovely and charming, she has a spark to her that makes her determined to accomplish what she sets her mind to. She’s extremely erotic and open about her sexuality.

a male aries is very serious at first glance, almost shy but once they feel comfortable around you they get all weird with their drugs and anime fetiches

Taurus: a female taurus is down to earth, she appears to be quiet and softspoken but omg this girl has the craziest things going through her brain, and she will always to be hungry, is not always expressive about emotions but she gives the best gifts and hugs.

A male taurus is always really fucking strange, he’s super quirky, a gamer, addicted to game of thrones and always uses cartoon references. Funny sense of humour (borderline offensive) says love isn’t his thing, is the first one to fall.

Gemini: a gemini male almost always seems to be super attractive, either bc he’s the cute nerdy type, or the popular hot guy. really smart, likes to laugh a lot. Can be a real douche 

a female gemini is adorable and always in the mood to goof around, so freaking versatile, if she feels betrayed will spill out all ur secrets and call u out on everything bitch watch out

Cancer: cancer boys are huge babies, they are party guys, it’s all about fun and games until someone mentions ‘’love’’ and they will sit u down and ramble about what their perfect girl would be like. is always waiting on the ‘’one’’, has high af expectations but likes the simplest and most boring girls.

cancer girls are moms, they always hug you, but omg these women are so jealous with their friends, it’s like you can’t even co-exist in a room with their bestie bc they will give u the stinky eye, i can’t

Leo: leo girls are the funniest ever, end of story. they’re divas and vulgar ass men at the same time. Fashion on fleek, always looks high but it’s just their face. belongs in the 70′s.

male leos are friends with everyone, most popular guy ever, nice, likes to act all mean but it’s all playful. has a hard time settling down, deep down always wants more in a girl

Virgo: virgo women are fierce, they are softies on the inside although they always look anxious  on the outside, stressed 24/7, loves sex so much low-key addicted to it, organized but a big ass mess

virgo guys are intelectual but stubborn mofos, say a lot of dad jokes, god complex, act like they don’t know shit about trends but really loves buying clothes and dressing nice.

Libra: libra boys are guys who look like angels, so friendly and innocent, BUT BAM BITCH they hit you with their sass, they are flirty af but SO FUCKING OPINIONATED, will flat out say ‘’i don’t like girls who ____’’, expects for you to chase after them, they are actually explosive and get moody easily, really dirty jokes

libra girls are airheads, so nice and giggle all the damn time (it’s cute srry if i sound mad), they always laugh at what ur saying even if it’s dumb and not funny at all. always has a young face, most likely not very open about sexuality, modest, easily corrupted, ——–if u have a scorpio moon u are the devil regina george— :)

Scorpio: scorpio guys are psycho, 60% are sociopaths i swear, they never laugh but when they do it’s loud and crazy and no one knows why the fuck. always walk like they’re in a hurry, STARES, is a child 4ever

scorpio women are extreme, she will not shut up for hours and the next day will not speak at all. is sexual but probably a virgin, knows everyones secrets, jealous with friends, jealous with stranger guys, jealous with mom, jealous with pet, jealous with self. stalks crush and writes poems about him but will never admit it

Sagittarius: sag guys are soooooo cheesy romantic, i swear they’re the fourth water sign, literally so many emotions, likes art, falls in love so easily it’s ridiculous, IS ALWAYS FRIENDZONED OMg hilarious but with partner, lasts 4ever

Sag girls are the ones who friendzone, will forget ur name in a second, flakey, says she’s down to go out with friends and guess what, bish fell asleep.loves to gossip with u, will always wanna hook u up with her friends or find out details about ur crush. does the dirty work for everyone

Capricorn:  cap girls are outspoken, bitchy but if she likes you she will defend u till death (she’s still gonna be a bitch to u but a softer one), confident AF, always looks ready to go to a club, boys everywhere like girl where’d u get these bruhs from. everywhere you go, guys will flock them, will make u feel like a potato bc she’s so perfect. has a hard time making decisions and letting go

cap male is competitive, ambitious, smells gooooood, style on fleek, the funniest guy ever, dark humour, smart with money, is probably gonna be a CEO, mommy’s boy, loves whiskey idk, eats SO MUCH like more than anyone, is a puppy on the inside, fuckboy but diehard romantic deep down.

Aquarius: aquarius guys always look cool, bad boy, they look like they dont care (spoiler alert: they don’t) has like 219 ex girlfriends and another hundred friends with benefits, smart ass, feels superior to everyone, thinks he’s so deep, he probably is but can never show it so no one believes him.

 aqua girls are always popular, the quirky one, the one who likes things ‘’no one else likes’’, a huge hipster, simple but attractive, has so many guys who wanna be with her and she acts like she doesn’t even notice. has so many guy friends (theyallwannabangher but ok) probably artsy, has good taste in music

Pisces: pisces men walk so fucking fast, probably because of their fucking long ass legs, has a serious face almost like he’s analizing the situation but in reality they’re thinking about memes (has amazing memes), never follows his heart, has strong feelings but rarely ever acts on them. is in love with someone they dont know, always has that little shine in their eyes

pisces girls are always the cute girl, the baby, the good one. deep down these girls will say dirty shit and has that evil side that always wants to come out and play, easily makes friends, is a disney princess and loves warm things. 

3

Ok. So, I just wanna talk about this for a second. For anyone who doesnt know, this is from the teaser for season 4. It should be on this hellsite somewhere if you wanna watch it, or you can find it on youtube.

Now, if you haven’t seen season 3 yet, you should probably stop reading this, cause I’m gonna mention a few spoilers. There probably not going to be terribly large spoilers, but spoilers all the same. If you’ve seen season 3 or you dont care about spoilers, then read on.

Okay, so… I was watching the teaser and I didn’t think much of this scene at first. But upon seeing it again something seemed odd. In this scene (in case you haven’t seen it or don’t remember it) Lotor is chasing after something and desperately trying to hit it with his sword. This is significant because, so far when Lotor has fought anyone, he’s calm and cool. Hell, so far Lotor seems to be someone who never seems to loose his calm exterior and always seems to be in control. He does crack sometimes, but not like this. In this scene he’s clearly upset. In fact, I’d go as far as to say he’s in a panic. I mean, look at the look on his face in the last shot. Whatever it is he’s desperate to wound/kill it and he needs to do it before it can get away.
Okay. So Lotor is trying to hit something and he’s freaking out. “What’s your point Star?” You might find yourself asking.
Well, take a look at the shots again. Look at who’s in them. Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor are in the shot with Lotor, but not Narti. In case you aren’t sure who Narti is, she’s the blind mute one. The one with the cat.
Alright so, if you’ve seen episode 7 of season 3, you know that there’s a strong chance that that cat is in fact Haggar’s. When he got sick she treated him with quintessence, apparently making him immortal or something similar.
“But Star,” you ask, “what does this have to do with anything?”
I’m glad you asked!
If you’ve seen season 3, then you remember the episode where Haggar sent someone too spy on Lotor because she doesnt trust him. He’s obviously caught because Lotor’s not an idiot. He confronts Haggar about it, throwing the cybornetic arm of her spy at her. Now I don’t know about you, but to me the whole thing felt odd. Haggar is normally at least a little bit sneakier then that. The whole thing sort of plays off as a simple filler scene simply put there too show that Lotor is playing by his own rules and Haggar isn’t having it and doesn’t trust him. But I think Haggar is a little smarter then that. She’s been the brains behind Zarkon for ten thousand years after all.
If you can’t tell where I’m going with this, let me explain. I’d say the cat (or possibly Narti herself) is there to spy for Haggar. I’d say he realizes this in that moment, perhaps after something large about his plans has been exposed, and in a fit of panic and anger tries to kill it (or Narti). Even the way it’s framed. The camera is placed between Acxa and Zethrid, like the person or whatever Lotor is attcking is standing in formation with the three other girls. That would make the scene from Narti’s point of view. Specifically, this is what she would be seeing (except it would have to be the cat seeing it because she doesn’t have eyes but that’s not the point). Both Zethrid and Ezor seem to be in a state of shock. Acxa just seems to be stepping out of his way.
So I guess what I’m saying is that, next season, if anyone turns put to be a traitor amongst Lotor’s group, it’s the cat/ Narti.
Thank you for your time.

How I see kpop groups and their traits

Exo: referred to as gods by the future generation; they could release an album full of high pitched screaming and still would make the best selling kpop album; china line who?; we are 1 what?; korean members with chinese stage names; don’t let the satan near you; yehet, kkaebsong; give Sehun lines

Bts: from nowhere to everywhere; hyperactive kids making good music; kids with mental health issues doing vanalism; they look at you - you faint;  shit down, beach - bitch?, ikskjuz miii; zoo; give Jin lines

Ikon: B.I, Bobby and friends; favoritism by yg; “the next bigbang”, but yg seems to forget about them so does the crowd; being hyped up then ending up disappointed; capable of doing good music but refuses to; give chanwoo lines

Got7: no mvs in the future just videos of them dabbing; b side tracks always better than the titles; acrobatics until their neck breaks; not so creative fandom name; bamx2 is big; jaCSon, hard carry by Monsta x

Winner: searching for them - error404: nowhere to be found; somewhere in the yg building; Taehyun had enough shit, wants his own band, searching for members through tumblr; capable of being unique, yg aint letting them; let them break out   

Day6: now 5live, nope, day8, members: sungjin, wonpil, dowoon, youngk, jae, chicken little, brian, younghyun; the one who has a stage name but seems like everyone is forgetting about it; dancing king; hashtag king; let dowoon sing

Astro: too much sugar in my eyes i can’t see; too pure for you; won’t ever do other than cute concepts;  michael jackson; giant maknae; voice cracks for life; new generation of flower boys

Seventeen: too many; pledis has a thing for girly boys; pledis’ only income; leg breaking choreos; adore u remakes as title tracks; no dark concepts in the future; sebeuntin; carrots, mounteen; slipping here and there; dino nugu aegi; thughao, 10:10; divaboo; noone looks like suga; jeongcheol, meanie; give china line lines

Vixx: concept kings but kinda ran out of concepts; oldschool kpop feel; from vixx ravi to solo ravi - full upgrade; one of the prettiest fandom names; endless leader bullying; serial killer; let the maknae line sing

Shinee: going strong since 2008; people seem to pay less attention to them; taemin upgraded; weird fashion taste - key; cola cola; don’t sleep on them

Infinite: dope intros - give you chills; old kpop sound, unique sound; scorpion dance, live singing + synchronized choreos; dinosaur who’s laugh can be heard without a mic; endless leader and maknae bullying; saved woollim; give sungyeol and sungjong lines

Monsta x: future strippers; stuck between hiphop and sexy concepts; wtf is going on here mvs, gay mvs; cringiest fandom name; weird noises by the rapper; damn daniel; how to learn hungarian by changkyun; abs, memes; ten years later: waiting for their first win; mosta x, moista x, monster x;  give hyungwon lines; 

Bigbang: legends; noone can dance, too lazy to dance; fashionistas; min hyorin; yg = bigbang

B.a.p: started to rise - shit happened - nobody cares about them anymore; getting killed or killing others in mvs; unappreciated dancers and rappers; high notes for life; actual meaningful lyrics

Block b: zico and the boys; biggest weirdos of them all; no friendship just business; give jaehyo lines

Nct: taeyong and the boys; pouring salt at the wounds; mess of a noise music; rotating as much that i can already see the tornado; dozens of units; horrible fashion; unnecessary ps; damn hoverboard skills; great vocals being hidden; johnny somehow managed to get out; let hansol free; give lines to everyone

Pentagon: putting them through an unnecessary scripted survival show to make people foget about some disbanded groups (4minute); sm and yg let some gems slip out from their hands, at least they are not in the dungeon; giants and dwarfs; ugly crying; lame jokes; ultrasound screams; nudity; wooyu; yutoda; give shinwon lines

Btob: being forgotten by cube; weird, extra; slowly turning into a ballad group; is minhyuk a rapper?; give peniel lines

Beast: what is happening with u cube? shit happened; new name - bea5t?;  lost their spirit after shit happned; great lives 

Suju: waiting for ot15; shit still happening; growing out of kpop; concepts don’t match their age; still waiting for kibum; don’t forget about zhoumi & henry; diaries of a married man; being succesful in the military

Nu’est: best debut song ever; had the most potential as a rookie group; pledis messed up; now they’re popular anywhere besides korea; getting worse and worse title songs; aesthetic mvs; creative fandom name; again pledis has a thing for girly boys

Ft Island: hongki and the others; awesome dope music (let’s not count puppy here); people don’t appreciate quality music anymore; this gem is lost in the ocean of cute, badass & hiphop concepts; pretty fandom name

Cnblue: another gem; better japanese releases; boring new songs because they have to fit into the kpop standard; yonghwa’s unique teeth; visuals; let the others sing

SF9: another group coming from a survival show; covering their seniors’ songs so they can’t even recognize them; thumbs up for the K.O choreography; don’t go with them to amusement parks; deep af voice maknae; park jimin 2.0; hwiyoung got them lines in roar

KNK: a bunch of idiots - literally; tall af; models af; old school kpop feels; if you hear someone laugh hysterically from afar it’s probably them; falling dramatically to the floor while doing so; choking sounds; don’t let them feed you; horlolololo; astro x knk; bullying sanha

2PM: definition of men; hella hot bodies; starting to be unknown; when was their latest first win?; manly concepts; awesome vocals; the rap is still meh; go crazy is a jam y’all; great actors

U-Kiss: so many member changes; lit songs, but not getting appreciation; don’t complain about your faves not getting 1st place like 2 months after debut - it took for them years; the first kpop fathers; they need a comeback soon

B1A4: great vocals again; don’t let them being forgotten; cnu just rocks the short hair admit it; baby i’m sorry is one of the best kpop songs; but great ballads as well

Teen top: they need to go back to their previous style; cap rocking them tattoos; hilariously funny group - watch their weekly idol; promoting as five now - anticipate their comeback

Wanna One: what even is this name; salty af that Jonghyun and Samuel are NOT in the 11; Never is still my jam; i’m not lookung forward for cute concepts; god 10 year age gap between the oldest and youngest member; still salty some trainess weren’t even in top 20 *cough* hwanwoong *cough* taehyun *cough* gunhee* *cough*; some great inventors (round clap, jeojang, etc.) and psychos and a lot more.

Everyone please note that i dont mean to offend neither the groups neither the fans. its just for fun and me being 100% sarcastic by these statements. i love and respect these groups with all my heart!
sorry, its a bit long.

Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

hey i just wanted to say that if you’re already scraping by to make ends meet, the holidays are really hard. and that puts pressure on you and on your whole family. and if there’s one thing i hope you know it’s that you don’t need to prove you love someone by buying them something. i know we all want to get the people we care about really fancy things. but i’m okay if you get me like a smooth rock you found by the ocean. i know it’s true of other people, too. i’d rather you hand me a diy picture frame from popsicle sticks than something you had to go into debt to buy, and i think any person who’s worth their socks will tell you the same thing. and on that note? everybody loves socks, and they’re pretty cheap. yes, it’d be great if you and i stumbled on enough money to actually afford things. but love, i’ve learned, isn’t about the buying.

and on that note? for those of you out there who find the holidays a particularly dark time… i hope you know there will always be someone willing to open the door for you. even when it feels like there’s no one. even if that door is a window you have to crawl through. 

and for those of us who have more than we need, i hope we open those doors. if you notice someone who is going to be alone during the holidays, or who is usually depressed but for no apparent reason seems markedly happy and is giving away their things, please invite them over. hang out with them, no matter how awkward it is. sudden cleaning and long notes about how much they love you are also signs of suicide. with recent changes in insurance, it’s increasingly harder to find mental health care, so help a friend out (and maybe even yourself!) by figuring out who still takes the insurance offered so we can all give ourselves the gift of coping mechanisms, the gift that keeps on giving.

i hope you all are happy and safe this season!

Lance's Love Interest

Okay guys. I could write a dissertation on why I think Keith will be Lance’s love interest, but that’s pretty much already been done. So what I do want to talk about is why Lance’s love interest won’t be Allura.


Before I get into this, I feel obligated to say that I’m a big ol’ bi sexual. Meaning that I’m not against this ship because ew girls. I’m not against it at all. Sure, I don’t ship it, but personal feelings about a pairing have no basis in cannon analysis.

Lets start with Lance’s vlog

What I got from the vlog is that nobody lies to Lance like Lance lies to Lance. Like seriously, how Lance can breathe beyond those Layers of Bravado is beyond me. He spends the majority of the vlog talking about how Allura probably does like him because he’s such a lady killer and yada yada yada, bull shit, bull shit, bull shit. You get the picture.


But then there’s this moment.


It’s legitimately sweet. Lance is gushing not about how he’s going to win over Allura or how awesome he is but about why he likes her so much. Only then he catches himself and goes right back into his Wow I’m So Awesome mode.

Then directly after this, he starts talking about how he’s not ready to settle down, which is… strange. Yeah, you could argue that Lance is saying this because he’s young, but the way it’s presented makes it seem like he’s covering something up, especially when you take into consideration Lance’s How to Fall in Love guide.

Lance loves love, not just as an end goal, but as an continuous endeavor. He understands it’s hard work, but he wants to put in that work. Lance wants to be in love.

What I’m getting at here is, Lance really likes Allura, but I think deep down he knows she doesn’t return those feelings. I mean, hes all like, ’Pff, yeah, of course Allura thinks I’m awesome, but sorry babe, can’t hold this stud down’ directly after we see him swooning over her, and honestly, how more obvious can it be that he’s hiding his real feelings/over compensating?

Lance knows Allura probably wont ever return his feeling and us as the audience knows that too. Or at least we should. Seriously, if I could say there was one thing I really have against this pairing, it would be the fact that Lance continues to flirt with Allura despite her obvious discomfort with it. The only reactions to his flirting we’ve ever gotten from Allura are disinterest and down right disgust. Meaning, his feelings are not returned.

Oh, but you might say, well they could be one day, and that’s where I’m going to have to disagree with you. I really don’t think Allura would just suddenly start to have feelings for Lance, not when there hasn’t been an ounce of romantic subtext between them and especially not when taking into consideration some of the comments made by the creators and voice actors.

Jeremy Shada said that Lance still thinks he has a chance with Allura, heavily implying that he doesn’t. The creators said that Lance would end up with someone he needed, not wanted.

Even if you ignore the blatant fact that Lance has wanted Allura from the beginning, it still makes this scene and Lance’s choice of words really interesting.

Lance straight up said that “Sometimes we don’t get what we want” while talking to Blue. And who is Blues new Paladin? That’s right! Allura! She even walked in right after he said it.

I know this has already been said, but just for the hell of it, let me point out that they also said Lance would end up with someone self assured, something Allura is not. She doubts herself more than any other character and has from day one. In fact, it’s Lance - one of the most insecure characters in the show - who gave her the confidence she needed in the season 4 final.

Now I really want to talk about this scene. I’ve heard people say that it parallels the ‘We are a good team’ moment from season one, and like, totally. It does, but apart of what this scene accomplished - at least to me - was solidifying the fact that Allura does not have feelings for Lance.


Lets break it down: There’s the obvious differences between these scenes. Keith and Lance’s has soft background music, unnecessarily long eye contact, fond smiles, a purple background (the combination of their respective colors), and a total mood shift. Its filled with romantic subtext and is also brought up later on several occasions. Lance and Allura’s moment had none of that.

Something less obvious Id like to point out is that if these scenes do parallel each other, then Lance would be the Keith in this situation and Allura the Lance. You may not agree with me, but I’m pretty positive that Keith has been low key pining for Lance since season one, which is fitting, because Lance has been pining for Allura. In Keith and Lance’s scene, Lance is drawn in by Keith whereas Allura merely glances back at Lance and then brushes him off. Insinuating that while Lance and Keith’s scene is a big moment to both of them and could be the start of feelings that Lance may go onto reciprocate, the same can not be said for Allura and Lance’s scene. In summary, Allura - being the Lance in this situation - did not show the same interest that Lance showed to Keith in their scene.

You could say that the situation was dire, and yeah, you’d be right, but for one, they don’t show us parallels for nothing. They’re used as a means to compare and contrast. Two, Keith straight up almost got his ass handed to him in the midst of a battle all because he was too busy making doki doki eyes at Lance. Meaning circumstance isn’t really an issue when dealing with this sort of thing.

The last thing I want to point out is, while Allura never reciprocates Lance’s advances, Lance - in his own self deluded, deny the bi, sort of way - does reciprocate Keith’s. First off, it should be heavily noted that Keith’s interest in Lance is much more subtle than Lance’s interest in Allura, because as we all know, Keith has abandonment issues, walls, and all that fun stuff. He doesn’t parade around his interest because he probably doesn’t see it ever being returned, not realistically.

But he’s wrong and here’s why: Lance feels inferior to the entire team, so the idea that he goes around challenging Keith and constantly vying for his attention out of pure jealousy/a need to prove himself makes no sense. If that were the case, he would behave that way towards everyone. Granted, Lance did think that Keith thought he was better than Lance, but in season two, Lance said, “I guess no one else thinks that” in regards to his marksmanship. Meaning Lance thinks that the rest of the team thinks hes not as talented as them also, and yet he treats them the same way he always has. Lance is literally obsessed with Keith, especially in season one. He’s the embodiment of the boy pulling on the girls pigtail to get her attention.

He also talked about Keith in admiration when he wasn’t around, wearing a similar face to that of the one he wears when hes flirting. Hell, he wears that same expression every time he teases Keith, but when he does it here, paired with this praise, we know it’s meant to be interpreted as a fond expression.

(also note that his expression morphs to this when he starts talking about Keith and only Keith despite the fact he’s praising the entire team)

He admires Keith. He wants Keith’s attention and respect. He flirtatiously banters with him. He goes to Keith when making important decisions about his future and place on the team. He expresses ambiguous jealousy every time Keith is with a girl.

Allura does none of this. So if you want to say that she could possibly reciprocate Lance’s feelings then you have to say the same for Lance towards Keith.

Look, my purpose here isn’t to dissuade anyone from shipping Allura and Lance or to down said shippers. I’m just trying to analyze cannon material and reach an conclusion. So my final theory on the matter of Lance’s love interest is that Lance has feelings for both Keith and Allura. He just doesn’t get that he has feelings towards Keith for the same reason he doesn’t want to admit he knows Allura doesn’t like him romantically. He likes to keep a lot of things tucked away in his head and chooses ignorance over introspection until those thoughts some how make it to the forefront and he’s forced to do otherwise. I think in season 5 the vlog will come into play and we’ll see the summation of Lance’s feelings towards Allura, but I have little to no doubt that it will not go the way he hopes it will.

And hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong. More power to you Allura and Lance shippers.

I need to read percy jackson because i love them AUs

And i love torturing Lance so I give to you this percy jackson AU idea where Lance is the son of Hades because langst and Lance being a outcast are my soul, Shiro is the son of Aphrodite because look at the guy, and Keith is the son of Zeus

and uh… heres some more idea for it

LANCE

  • son of Hades, not well liked
  • really hates that he’s the son of Hades
  • really misses his mother and his siblings, like really really misses them
  • just wants to be normal and go home
  • most new campers assume he’s aphrodites son because he’s a flirt and kind of attractive and they don’t know the ropes yet which always leads to an awkward moment when they ask because he kinda wants to say yes
  • would literally die for his friends
  • and by firends he means hunk, and later pidge, who are the only people that hang out with him
  • is incredibly jealous of keith because everyone loves him and he’s the son of zeus, is incredibly angered by keith because the guy doesnt even care
  • has an obession with water and swimming

KEITH

  • son of Zeus, adored all over
  • couldn’t care less about any of this halfblood stuff
  • was an ophran before he ended up at camp halfblood, knew Shiro before Shiro was taken in by the Holts
  • honestly more interested in his mum than he is zeus
  • does not understand lance, like at all.  the guy seems to have an obession with keith and has created this whole rivalry and keiths just like ‘so thats a thing i guess?’
  • despite being liked, doesnt really have any close friends until Shiro shows up
  • really wants to help shiro settle in, isn’t sure he wants to help shiro get his memories back  

SHIRO

  • son of Aphrodite, has been named the favourite by other campers
  • like keith, he doesn’t care much about his godly parent or anyone elses godly parent
  • also like keith, was an orphan however he ended up in the holts are instead of camp halfblood
  • shiro doesnt actually know how he ended up in camp halfblood.  one day he’s fishing with matt and sam and then something happened (he’s not sure what) and he woke up at camp halfblood
  • really wants to remember what happened that day, and find sam and matt
  • at the very least he wants to assure the holt girls that he’s alive, unfortunitly he’s not allowed to
  • mostly sticks with keith, both can usually be found training because they’re keith and shiro and what do you mean training all day every day isn’t healthy?

PIDGE

  • not a halfblood
  • however she is the first human to ever be able to fake being a halfblood
  • snuck into camp halfblood and has contiuned to pretend she just hasn’t been claimed yet, because of this she (like lance) is mostly an outcast however she (unlike lance) doesnt mind so much
  • their mutaul outcastness somehow lead to lance and pidge being friends and therefore hunks also a friend
  • the reason she snuck into camp halfblood was because matt and sam went missing and matt is actually the son of a god (athena) so Pidge thinks camp halfblood may have some useful iinformation

HUNK

  • son of hephaestus
  • also doesnt care about parentage. honestly the only one out of the 5 that does is lance and he only really cares about his own he aint gonna judge you
  • because he doesnt care, he didn’t mind being friends with lance when the other had no one and now they are best friends
  • also hates keith, mostly because lance does
  • like lance, would die for his friends (just with more fear)

ALLURA

  • daughter of athena, hella feared but also hella admired and liked
  • when you met her she is pretty and regal but dont be fooled, she can and will beat your ass for hitting on her.  some how lance keeps managing to forget this
  • like lance she also cares about parentage and can be hella judgemental.  she despises lance because he’s hades son.  lance will never have a chance with her
  • her father also used to be at camp halfblood as a counselor, however he was killed
  • since his death she’s been looked after mostly by coran and also has gone into prepare-for-revenage mode

CORAN

  • a counselor at the camp
  • didn’t like lance at first, however he paid attention and noticed how self-sacrificing lance was and has a soft spot for him (it helps that lance saved his life this one time)
  • adores allura, wishes she and lance would just get along but knows its not going to happen
  • isn’t fooled by Pidge but is letting her stay anyway because he understands why she’s there
  • is banned from the kitchen, now and forever

THE GALRA

  • Halfbloods who desire to rule over humanity or maybe just destory it
  • Lead by Zarkon, who i’m thinking is either the son od Zeus (therefore entitled and also connection to Keith) or Hades (again entitled because big 3, and also evil connotation, also he’d have a connection to Lance which could lead to some Lance betrayals because he’s treated like shit)
  • Regularly kidnap other halfbloods to force them to become galra soliders, such is the intended fate of Matt
  • Regularly kidnaps humans to be slaves, such is the intended fate of Samuel and also Shay’s family
  • Shiro was their most promising of kidnapped soilders, however he was saved by a BoM member and taken to camp halfblood, not that Shiro remembers any of that
  • The BoM is a huge pain in Zarkon’s side but Haggar is the one that most  deals with them, they’re halfbloods who were taken by Zarkon or joined him willing and later realized how fucked up the situation was and managed to escape or become an undercover agent
  • Zarkon used to be a big deal at camp halfblood, and then he killed Alfor because Alfor didn’t agree with him

OTHER THINGS

  • thace and coran are probably dating
  • and only lance knows, he finds it super gross cause to him it’s like watching your parents flirt badly in front of you
  • which is fitting since coran basically adopted lance and all
  • lance finds allura incredibly attractive and enjoys flirting with her.  however he enjoys flirting with her because it makes for excellent training when she gets mad, he would be so lost if she ever responded positively
  • totally drooling over Shiro becase hello, look at him
  • Shiro is completely unaware, keith is not.
  • Klance or Shance would totally be the end came.
  • Despite Zarkons best efforts most of humanity is still completely unaware of the halfbloods exisitence.  
  • Voltron is the name giving to a squad like no squad.  this squad ends up being the main 5 (funnily enough)

If someone could write this for me i’d be in love

OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

Yuuri’s English

So in my mind, Yuuri speaks ridiculously good English. And although his accent would probably never fade entirely, it’s likely very faint and neutral. This comes about from Yuuri just being, well, Yuuri. Yuuri hates standing out too much, right, so I firmly believe that he would practice his pronunciation as much as possible, until people could almost mistake him from actually originating from Detroit. 

That boy has probably swallowed a grammar text book too, embarrassed when people giggled his first week when he made a little mistake here and there. Of course over speaking it solidly for four years, in a less natural way, he knows his grammar rules better than some native speakers. International reporters love him because of this (none of the language barrier awkwardness). 

He’s also 100% better at the language than Viktor is. Although we know he’s fluent, there’s clearly going to be a difference between somebody who has lived in an English speaking country for years, and someone who isn’t using it constantly. I can totally see Viktor forgetting really weird words every now and then like ‘elephant’ or something, and trying to describe it with odd terms such as ‘giant horse with long nose’ until Yuuri supplies what he was trying to say.

Although this doesn’t say that much, I will note that Yuuri is dubbed with an American accent whereas pretty much everyone else who doesn’t live abroad carries their native ones, so it kind of confirms my thinking a little? 

So when isn’t Yuuri so great? 

  • When he’s sleepy 

If Viktor ever tries to ask him something when he’s on the verge of sleep/just waking up, Yuuri will respond with either a mumble, or very fast Japanese because he hasn’t registered where exactly he is. Viktor finds this adorable and just tucks him back in.  

  • When he’s nervous 

AKA why not so many people internationally know that Yuuri is so great with the language. When his anxiety peaks before competitions, Yuuri kind of forgets all the pronunciation notes he’s forced himself to remember and such, and on occasion gets mixed up. Sometimes he has to talk very slowly to remember the next words so everyone kind of assumes he’s very serious. 

  • Essentially when he’s emotionally overwhelmed 

I believe this to essentially be canon. Remember this in episode five?

A lot of the time I noticed that Yuuri pronounces Viktor’s name with a hard ‘r’, but in this scene he says it with more of a ‘ru’ sound which is closer to how you’d write it in Japanese (at least, I’m mostly sure about that. I’m not Japanese.). And whilst I’m pretty sure he also says it like this a few other times, I find happy Yuuri not controlling his pronunciation very sweet. 

Also sad and angry Yuuri. Angry Yuuri can hardly even be understood when he’s ranting (he’s also too angry to care about this anyway).

  • When he’s drunk 

This is actually canon! Reports from the museum all say that Yuuri gets very Kyushu accent when he’s intoxicate. Also, may I remind you of “BE MY COACH, VIKTORRRRRRRRRRRR!” 

  • during sex   

On a totally relevant side note, we know that Yuuri can dance hip hop well, so humour me in my headcanon that this boy can rap. Maybe not freestyle, but he can certainly recite some popular verses. It’s probably Phichit’s fault. 

Boku No Hero Academia Light Novel No.2 Translations

Commence Study Groups!

そろそろの勉強会: Chapter 1, Part 2 [click here for part 1] [Part 3]

(t/n: for some reason I found this quite hard to translate, but it was a quick short part before they switched back to yaomomo and gang, nonetheless enjoy the bakushima! p.s dont forget to read part 1!!! ^_^)

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a list of healthy habits for a better you

  • getting out of bed as soon as you wake up - no more chilling on your phone for an hour while you should have been doing your homework (me rn)
  • did a mistake? did something you shouldnt have done ? accept you did this mistake but try and stop blaming yourself and critisizing so much: accept that its okay to do mistakes and it happens, by changing into a pozitive attitude there are much more chances to not do that again
  • have a few days/ weeks for a project? work !! on !! it !! seriously dont let it all in the last day the stress is much higher and it probably wont turn out that good because you’re hurrying up
  • eat breakfast !! seriously ok
  • pick an outfit the night before: so much time saved up
  • reading a book? get a highlighter and highlight unknown words ( especially if you’re not reading in your native language ) . at the end of the chapter/ your reading time search them all or maybe even write them down ? ( i struggle with this so much tbh but i believe it pays back knowing much more than before )
  • do a little bit at least of something you enjoy daily: even if you’re busy af find just half an hour in which you draw, read, play with your cat etc etc
  • achieve a morning and night routine: honestly it can be the most simple things but if you do them like straight as soon as you wake up then you’re more likely to be productive while if you just stay on your phone for half an hour then brush your teeth, you’re basically wasting time.
  • talk to people ! ok listen up i know its scary to just go and talk to people but if you know for example you have a common interest its very likely they will be excited about it and you might even become friends !
  • you’re afraid of doing something? lets say public speaking. i am completely terrified of it . this is exactly why i signed up for debate, to get over this fear. the only way you can solve your problem with a fear for something like this is to face it straight on . yes it will give you anxiety probably it might stress you but you’re being so brave and slowly you’ll most likely overcome it
  • have a crush? you know they’re single and a very chill person ? talk to them. like seriously the best thing to do when you have a crush is chill down for a bit and realize its not the end of the world if they dont like you back and the only way even to make that happen is to talk to them ! like become their friend and maybe hint at them that you like them and you never know??¿

okay listen here i know you’re probably thinking im the most peaceful perfect person ever because i do all these things but the thing is : i dont , i barely do any of them . however , i would really like to change that and i really believe these little habits will help me ( and you ! ) in life in general.

hope you have an awesome day!

3:50 pm

Every Friday at exactly 3:50 pm Draco makes sure to kiss Harry.

Every Friday. He hasn’t been late once either. Because Draco always drops everything he’s doing, no matter what he’s doing, to go and look for Harry. It’s not that easy sometimes. Harry has a job that, unlike Draco’s, requires him to actually leave the house. Whenever Draco shows up at his workplace, Harry’s face lightens up. He has never complained about Draco interrupting his work. Not once.

Even when they’re fighting and they’re both in a bad mood, they briefly forget about it when it’s 3:50 on a Friday. Like right now. They had an argument last night about Harry getting a motorcycle. Draco just doesn’t get why Harry would want to spend that much money on something that will probably kill him. They both fell asleep with a scowl on their face and they didn’t talk while eating breakfast. Harry left the house while Draco was reading the paper.

But now, as Draco stands in front of him, Harry is smiling at him fondly. Merlin, Draco just never tires of that smile. Even after all these years.

He glances at the clock and sees it’s 3:49. His eyes find Harry’s and they hold so much love, it makes Draco shudder. He takes Harry’s hands in his and pulls him closer. When his lips brush Harry’s, a familiar feeling washes over him. It’s warm and invigorating, reassuring and exhilarating. Kissing Harry will never fail to consume and mesmerize Draco.

Harry leans away again and brushes his thumb over Draco’s cheek.

“I still have a bit of work to do, but I’ll try to be home early, okay?”

“Okay,” Draco whispers, his eyes still closed.

He feels Harry kiss the tip of his nose and can’t help but grin. He pulls Harry back into a tight embrace and relishes the feeling of Harry’s body shaking against his, as Harry laughs out loud.

“I love our Friday afternoon kisses,” Harry murmurs.

“I love them, too.”

Draco really does. Because it was 3:50 pm on a Friday afternoon when Harry Potter said “I do” and kissed Draco for the first time as his husband.

Scream It Louder

Originally posted by jeonfhan

Character(s): Reader X Wonho, BestFriend!hyungwon

Genre: smut, slight sexual tension

Warning(s): jealous smut, slow build, praise!kink, rough sex

Length: 8.5 k words

A/N: For the anon that requested a wonho smut similar to the kihyun one. im sorry this ain’t really my best work, but yoooo Wonho got me feelin some type of way


You scrunch up your nose as you stand behind Hoseok, fingers digging into the hem of his shirt as he drizzles cheese onto the nachos.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” You ask, eyeing the mess of salsa, ground beef, tortilla chips, and cheese on the baking sheet.

He groans, tipping his head back, “Of course I know what I’m doing. God, do I look like I’m 12?”

“Nah,” you respond, grinning cheekily, “More like 15. That awkward mid-puberty boy type of look.”

He swats his hand at your grip on his shirt, pointing the wooden spoon in his hand at the sofa.

“Go and sit and be quiet if you want any food,” he says, turning his attention back to the nachos.

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OK guys hear me out on this but- I think that the entire TAZ world, or at least the seven red-robes are running on a constant majoras mask/refuge year long loop that resets with the earth being devoured by The Hunger, and that there is a second voidfish that (up until now) kept this a secret

There will be a tl;dr at the end

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anonymous asked:

getting kind of tired of the lack of updates, w out an explanation, we at least deserve that

I think I’ll have to put this in the FAQ at some point because I get asked this a lot even though I’ve answered it before, which is OK. I don’t expect people to search the blog for old asks all the time to find information. It might just be easier to put it in the FAQ.

I had surgery in late April for a kidney tumor. It was successful but the recovery has slowed my updating significantly since then. I used to have no job and all the time in the world to work on SaM before that, updating maybe even 3 times a month. That is not doable anymore. Since surgery, I’ve had health problems as well. I’ve been to the Emergency room 5 times since April, all on separate occasions, once even on my family’s first time ever going to Hawaii. I was stuck at the condo.

In addition to health problems, I also have full time employment now. Meaning, I can only work on “Satan and Me” and my other comic “Here it Comes” on the weekends. Updates will be significantly slower because of that, also because I still want to have a life outside of just drawing on the computer all week. I don’t spend my entire weekends drawing updates. Sometimes I go shopping or see my friends or have a meal with my family. 

My full time work is also a drawing job, which I’m happy to have because I went to art school to work in art, so I like that I finally can do that after attending school for 3 years. This is extra taxing on my wrist, which has been in very bad shape even when I started SaM 3 years ago. So sometimes I just don’t want to draw because my wrist needs a day off. I am unable to draw 7 days a week every week. I still try to do that, though, because I feel bad about how much updates have slowed down since my surgery in April, so I still push myself and end up doing just that.

These past two weeks I have some friends in town for the first time on vacation as well. So for these two weeks I haven’t been working on SaM, choosing to spend time with these friends while they’re here instead. It’s my first vacation since I started employment in April, and since my medical recovery. I even had to work during my family’s vacation in Hawaii, so that never felt like a vacation to me when I was stuck 4 days at the condo sick, on meds, and drawing all day while everyone else got to sight see.

I’m sorry that updates are slower. “Satan and Me” will realistically probably get an update every month or every other month if I’m honest. I can’t help that at this point. I try to make the updates prettier and with more panels to make up for that. Before, updates would be 7-10 panels long. I’ve been trying to shoot for the 20s range for you guys, or at least upper teens, since Natalie came back. 

I’d love to draw more, believe me I would, but with fulltime work now that’s just not doable. I’m sorry, but I need to pay my bills.

also if you ever feel alone and like you cant get anything right, even if you think taylor isnt paying attention to you…you know she will never count you out. i havent confirmed with her yet but im pretty sure taylor swift would shrink herself down and body slam every negative thought in your brain about yourself if she could. sometimes you dont need taylor to say she’s there for you as long as you can put on That Song™️ and just FORGET………sometimes that’s almost as good.

Tony being your sugar daddy + a “boobs guy” would include:

pairing: tony x reader

warnings: oh no hide your children this is about women willingly using their bodies and benefitting from it

a/n: hello i’m back after 4 months having graduated high school and being a bigger tony slut than ever before

also this is the longest “would include” i have ever written but i’ve been getting requests for this for months and it took me forever to get around to writing so enjoy

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