but i dont even go out so i will probably never

Open letter to a certain ppg-fan… because… well you’ll find out.

You see, piccola, I don’t usually get involved in fandom discourse, especially
with a little 13 year old who plays linkin park on her PPG blog and uses the words “kawaii” and “sweety” unironically.
In fact, you’re probably very surprised to see this on my blog right now.
Bet you never had your views challenged in your whole life, that you think you’re the apotheosis of cunning and nobody stands a chance against you because your opinions stay there, untouched on your blog, like a chunk of yellow snow on the side of the street.


Well do I have shocking news for you baby, no one bothers to reply to you.
That’s right. You’re not even worth the effort.
But here’s the twist: I’m free tonight. And it’s about time someone taught you a lesson. So I guess we could say, it’s your lucky day.


You see, you insulted a close friend of mine, but I’ve been pretty kind to you. 

I explained to you why insulting people over a ship is wrong, why having “problematic” tastes in fiction doesn’t affect your moral compass, gave you an example (“Liking the Hitman series doesn’t make you endorse murder”. In fact, the whole “supporting and advertising x” suddenly loses all logistic meaning when you replace x with murder, which is supposely the worst thing you could do… Fascinating, don’t you think?), and didn’t even do that by reblogging your post, to not, y'know, humiliate you because of your ridicolously immature views, and expose your disastrous looking blog to the world.

@dazzmazing-dazz was a bit more candid, yes, but she wasn’t extremely disrespectful either, all things considered… but what is an anti to do?
What is a spoiled kid on the internet to do, with 2 fully grown people disagreeing with you (shocking!), bringing some valid points to the argument your bitter, uneducated little brain will never be able to process a valid counter to?

Reconsider your worldview? never.
How about,
-deleting all of my comments, hoping nobody will see the arguments I brought to the table and you won’t have to adress em ever again
-Replying to dazz by completely ignoring what we were trying to say, insulting her, (yeah, she did point out you confuse “then” with “than”. But she made a typo, and she’s not a native english-speaker. Your blog is littered with syntax issues and your grammar is laughable: what’s your excuse?), all of this, mind you, WITHOUT reblogging her post
(Just, straight up editing the original, so she wouldn’t notice. Cowardly and pathetic).


-Not even BOTHER to actually read most of what we were trying to say. You confused Dazz for the Ship founder. She doesn’t even SHIP Akubloss. The whole point of us arguing with you was to defend our friend Teacup.


-Block the both of us, which would be fair if you didn’t want to deal with discourse in the first place, but you’re the one who put that shit in the AKU tag and started talking shit about Dazz, so no.


But let’s be honest, did I expect anything else from you? No.


See, I don’t have a problem with YOU especially. You’re not half that important to me. It’s just, the culture of “free speech just for me” Tumblr likes to push on everybody so much.

My opinions? “Saint”. “IMPORTANT”. Opinions I don’t agree with? “harassment”. “hate speech”. “Only MY opinions matter and are the absolute truth, and if you don’t agree with me, I’m gonna block you and make it look like I won the argument. Yes, I won the argument, because my opponent’s speech as been shut down. By me”


Con-fucking-grats, champ. Waiting for that victim phase now, “I’M A MINOR! STOP HARASSING ME” post. Go ahead my dude.
I expect nothing more by an immature brat who doesn’t know the difference between gay, drag queens and trans anyway. Have a good day, “buddy”.

So in the new 2x14 clip (slight spoilers) Simon is going with them? Why? It’s a Shadowhunter mission, he’s a Downworlder, and it’s completely weird and forced. They’re only doing it to further and force the Clace thing, which, whatever, but still. And Simon’s not even taking it seriously, which just shows how little he knows about the Downworld and how little respect he has for anything that isn’t about him. Jace shouldn’t let him go, and Alec would never. It’s a formal mission to keep a f*cking war from breaking out, not a little date for Cl*mon to be gross on. But Jace is gonna let it happen. 

Wow, this got long and weird. I’ll probably delete this, and I’m not trying to start anything. Just tired of the straights. Forced plots exhaust me, as does staying up for a day and half, so I’m done.

Okay guys, I normally don’t go into politics but this is really really really really important. You might have heard of it, but the election of our next President is currently taking place in France, so I’ll write this quick words, in both English and French, in hope that a lot of you will read it.

This is me begging you to go vote on May 7th. I kept scrolling on twitter today and all I could see was hashtags terrifying me. #JamaisMacron (Never Macron) #SansMoiLe7Mai (Without me on May 7th)…
On April 25th, we voted for 2 candidates. Despite our hopes, the two names that came out were Emmanuel Macron and Marine Le Pen. You might not know them if you’re not french, but both those names held different stories.
While, yes, Emmanuel Macron is a guy that can’t keep his mind straight, change his words every five seconds, is said to be too young to be President, have some « peculiar »  and stupid ideas , he is nothing compared to Le Pen.
She is the leader of the far right, the « Front National », and she is a fraud. a political leader behind a party you should be scarred of. Racist, antisemitic, homophobic, anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism are some of the words that could be used to describe them.

Truth is, I don’t want either of them to become my President, but we have to put pride and hatred aside. We are French, guys, we are free, we are a nation, we are a beautiful madness, WE are France.
Terrorists attacks can’t divide us. I know I’m scarred, I don’t feel safe, and I don’t trust our politicians, but never, NEVER, will I give up my freedom and my identity to elect someone like Marine Le Pen. No, she’s not Hitler, she’s not the devil, she’s just a woman, a human being, and we have the power to keep her from ruling our country. That won’t be done by sitting on your couch on May 7th, or by giving an empty envelope when you’ll go vote, or by putting the hashtag « Sans Moi le 7 Mai ».
You have more than a right to vote, you have an obligation, toward yourself and toward your country. You might not like it, you might hate Macron even, but you have a voice, and we all know one voice can change everything. So go vote on May 7th, vote for Emmanuel Macron, not because you like him, or because you like his ideas, but because giving him your voice means blocking the way to a party that will destroy our country, our beliefs and most certainly our life.
Please, please, please, don’t sit this one out. Go vote, because if you don’t, then you’ve made your choice, you chose the National Front and everything it stands for. It’s not voting for, but voting against. Who’d you rather have, a weird liberalist with no party and early alzheimer (and a very bad way with words), or a woman who’s going to destroy everything being french means ?
It is not easy, but necessary. Choose life, guys, choose France.

With all my love,
a very concerned french citizen.
——————————————————————————————————-

Salut tous le monde, je ne parle normalement jamais de politique, mais cette fois c’est vraiment, vraiment, vraiment, vraiment important.

Je vous supplie d’aller voter le 7 Mai. Toute la journée, je n’ai vue que des hashtags qui m’ont fait atrocement peur sur twitter; #JamaisMacron - #SansMoiLe7Mai …
Le 25 Avril, on a voté pour 2 candidats. Malgré nos espoirs, les deux noms qui en sont ressortis sont ceux d’Emmanuel Macron et de Marine Le Pen. Vous ne les connaissez peut-être pas si vous n’êtes pas français, mais ce sont deux noms avec deux histoires bien différentes.
Il est vrai qu’Emmanuel Macron est un homme qui n’a pas l’esprit clair, qui change de mots et d’avis toutes les cinq secondes, qui est dit trop jeune pour être Président, et qui a clairement quelques stupides idées très « particulières », mais il n’est rien comparé à Le Pen.
Elle est le leader de l’extrême droite, le Front National, et c’est une arnaque à elle seule, un leader politique derrière un partie dont vous devriez avoir peur. Racisme, antisémitisme, homophobe, anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalisme sont quelques mots qui pourraient bien les décrire.

La vérité étant que je ne veux qu’aucun des deux ne devienne mon(ma) Président(e), mais nous devons mettre de côté notre fierté et notre haine. Nous sommes français, les gars ! Nous sommes libre, nous sommes une nation, nous représentons une magnifique folie, merde, NOUS sommes la France.
Les attaques terroristes ne doivent pas nous diviser. Je sais que j’ai peur, que je ne me sens pas en sécurité, que je ne fais pas confiance à nos politiciens, mais jamais, JAMAIS, je ne renoncerais à ma liberté et mon identité pour élire quelqu’un comme Marine Le Pen.
Non, elle n’est pas Hitler, elle n’est pas le diable, elle est simplement une femme, un être humain, et nous avons le pouvoir de l’empêcher de gouverner notre pays. Ca ne se fera pas en restant assis sur votre canapé le 7 Mai, ni en rendant une enveloppe vide lorsque vous irez voter, ni même en écrivant ce fameux hashtag « Sans Moi le 7 Mai ».
Vous avez plus qu’un droit de voter, vous avez une obligation, envers vous-même et envers votre pays.
Vous n’aimez peut-être pas ça, vous détestez peut-être même Macron, mais vous avez une voix, et nous savons tous qu’une seule voix peut faire toute la différence. Alors allez voter le 7 Mai, votez pour Emmanuel Macron, pas parce que vous l’appréciez lui, ou même ses idées, mais parce que lui donner votre voix veut dire bloquer la route à un partie qui pourrait détruire notre pays, nos croyances et probablement même nos vies.
S’il vous plaît, à tous ce qui lisent ce mots et ont le pouvoir de bouger les choses, à tous les français, ne faites pas l’impasses sur ces élections. Allez voter, parce que ne pas le faire, c’est déjà faire un choix, le choix du Front National et de tous ce qu’il soutient. Rappelez vous que ce n’est pas voter pour, mais voter contre.
Qui préférez-vous, un libéraliste étrange, sans partie avec un alzheimer précoce, ou une femme qui pourrait détruire tous ce qu’être français veut dire ?
Ce n’est pas facile mais nécessaire. Choisissez la vie, les gars, choisissez la France.

Avec tout mon amour,
une citoyenne française très inquiète.

the main difference between male and female

Aries: a female aries is lovely and charming, she has a spark to her that makes her determined to accomplish what she sets her mind to. She’s extremely erotic and open about her sexuality.

a male aries is very serious at first glance, almost shy but once they feel comfortable around you they get all weird with their drugs and anime fetiches

Taurus: a female taurus is down to earth, she appears to be quiet and softspoken but omg this girl has the craziest things going through her brain, and she will always to be hungry, is not always expressive about emotions but she gives the best gifts and hugs.

A male taurus is always really fucking strange, he’s super quirky, a gamer, addicted to game of thrones and always uses cartoon references. Funny sense of humour (borderline offensive) says love isn’t his thing, is the first one to fall.

Gemini: a gemini male almost always seems to be super attractive, either bc he’s the cute nerdy type, or the popular hot guy. really smart, likes to laugh a lot. Can be a real douche 

a female gemini is adorable and always in the mood to goof around, so freaking versatile, if she feels betrayed will spill out all ur secrets and call u out on everything bitch watch out

Cancer: cancer boys are huge babies, they are party guys, it’s all about fun and games until someone mentions ‘’love’’ and they will sit u down and ramble about what their perfect girl would be like. is always waiting on the ‘’one’’, has high af expectations but likes the simplest and most boring girls.

cancer girls are moms, they always hug you, but omg these women are so jealous with their friends, it’s like you can’t even co-exist in a room with their bestie bc they will give u the stinky eye, i can’t

Leo: leo girls are the funniest ever, end of story. they’re divas and vulgar ass men at the same time. Fashion on fleek, always looks high but it’s just their face. belongs in the 70′s.

male leos are friends with everyone, most popular guy ever, nice, likes to act all mean but it’s all playful. has a hard time settling down, deep down always wants more in a girl

Virgo: virgo women are fierce, they are softies on the inside although they always look anxious  on the outside, stressed 24/7, loves sex so much low-key addicted to it, organized but a big ass mess

virgo guys are intelectual but stubborn mofos, say a lot of dad jokes, god complex, act like they don’t know shit about trends but really loves buying clothes and dressing nice.

Libra: libra boys are guys who look like angels, so friendly and innocent, BUT BAM BITCH they hit you with their sass, they are flirty af but SO FUCKING OPINIONATED, will flat out say ‘’i don’t like girls who ____’’, expects for you to chase after them, they are actually explosive and get moody easily, really dirty jokes

libra girls are airheads, so nice and giggle all the damn time (it’s cute srry if i sound mad), they always laugh at what ur saying even if it’s dumb and not funny at all. always has a young face, most likely not very open about sexuality, modest, easily corrupted, ——–if u have a scorpio moon u are the devil regina george— :)

Scorpio: scorpio guys are psycho, 60% are sociopaths i swear, they never laugh but when they do it’s loud and crazy and no one knows why the fuck. always walk like they’re in a hurry, STARES, is a child 4ever

scorpio women are extreme, she will not shut up for hours and the next day will not speak at all. is sexual but probably a virgin, knows everyones secrets, jealous with friends, jealous with stranger guys, jealous with mom, jealous with pet, jealous with self. stalks crush and writes poems about him but will never admit it

Sagittarius: sag guys are soooooo cheesy romantic, i swear they’re the fourth water sign, literally so many emotions, likes art, falls in love so easily it’s ridiculous, IS ALWAYS FRIENDZONED OMg hilarious but with partner, lasts 4ever

Sag girls are the ones who friendzone, will forget ur name in a second, flakey, says she’s down to go out with friends and guess what, bish fell asleep.loves to gossip with u, will always wanna hook u up with her friends or find out details about ur crush. does the dirty work for everyone

Capricorn:  cap girls are outspoken, bitchy but if she likes you she will defend u till death (she’s still gonna be a bitch to u but a softer one), confident AF, always looks ready to go to a club, boys everywhere like girl where’d u get these bruhs from. everywhere you go, guys will flock them, will make u feel like a potato bc she’s so perfect. has a hard time making decisions and letting go

cap male is competitive, ambitious, smells gooooood, style on fleek, the funniest guy ever, dark humour, smart with money, is probably gonna be a CEO, mommy’s boy, loves whiskey idk, eats SO MUCH like more than anyone, is a puppy on the inside, fuckboy but diehard romantic deep down.

Aquarius: aquarius guys always look cool, bad boy, they look like they dont care (spoiler alert: they don’t) has like 219 ex girlfriends and another hundred friends with benefits, smart ass, feels superior to everyone, thinks he’s so deep, he probably is but can never show it so no one believes him.

 aqua girls are always popular, the quirky one, the one who likes things ‘’no one else likes’’, a huge hipster, simple but attractive, has so many guys who wanna be with her and she acts like she doesn’t even notice. has so many guy friends (theyallwannabangher but ok) probably artsy, has good taste in music

Pisces: pisces men walk so fucking fast, probably because of their fucking long ass legs, has a serious face almost like he’s analizing the situation but in reality they’re thinking about memes (has amazing memes), never follows his heart, has strong feelings but rarely ever acts on them. is in love with someone they dont know, always has that little shine in their eyes

pisces girls are always the cute girl, the baby, the good one. deep down these girls will say dirty shit and has that evil side that always wants to come out and play, easily makes friends, is a disney princess and loves warm things. 

random college tips

i. get to your classroom early if you don’t have a class beforehand

not only are you guaranteed the best seat in the house, but there’s something about being in a classroom or lecture hall that makes you feel productive and focused. bring a book or writing assignment for a different class with you and just Do It

ii. pack your bag the night before

especially if you have early morning classes and are not a morning person. this will help you have a less stressful morning and will help you make sure you have everything you need for the day prior to leaving your dorm

iii. don’t overannotate

annotations are designed to help you identify the most important parts of the book/novel, meaning important themes, character development, big events, the implications of said events, etc. by over highlighting and over annotating i can guarantee you you aren’t doing yourself a favor !!! i’m gonna make a post later about how i annotate so be on the lookout

iv. stay on top of your readings

seriously. it is a pain in the ass trying to catch up on a week’s worth of reading in five different classes. it is stressful, it’s time consuming, and it’s exhausting. even if you’ve had a long day and you’re not in the mood to read an entire 20 page chapter in your american government textbook, just do it !!! your brain and your mental health will thank you the next day

v. try your hardest not to miss class

i’m mentally ill and prone to sickness, so i understand that sometimes it’s hard. it also feels worse when you miss class and have no idea what’s happening, so if you think you can get out of bed, lets get to class so we don’t fall behind and get extra stress thrown on top of us!

vi. fridays are homework days

think of it this way: if fridays are homework days, saturday and sunday are free days !!!!

vii. proofread your papers before you turn them in

guys i literally never do this (i know i’m a bad egg) and im always suffering for it. if your college/university has a writing center/something similar please go there, especially your freshman year !!! they will help you learn how to accurately and succinctly convey your thoughts on a college level and you will be so grateful later on i hate myself

viii. ask if the professor prefers a certain citation style

if you dont get a chance to ask during the class/lecture, send them an email. i once got my grade halved because i didnt use APA when the professor didnt specify on the syllabus/assignment sheet. so do urself and ur gpa a favor and ask

ix. always bring extra pens/pencils to class with you

somebody will forget theirs and they will sit next to you and if ur in a class with 30+ ppl that has group projects or presentations coming up you’re going to want friends

x. college kids love gum

if u bring gum you got all the friends in the world my guy i dont know why this is a thing but it is. one girl cried during exam week last year because i gave her a piece of my gum and that was literally the highlight of her week

ok thats my random ass list of stuff regarding college !! i’ll probably make more masterposts like this b/c this was fun as heck. if u have any questions/need advice, just hmu !! you can check out my other masterposts here.

Sugar bowl facts

After couple of years sugaring this is what I’ve observed regarding SD/SB sites

-what I’ve recently read and which is 100% accurate, anyone worth of knowing won’t be in such sites. Full. Stop.

-most of men that have profiles are in best case upper middle class guys. You won’t find a multimillionaire sitting behind his computer chasing girls online. Would you? I wouldn’t. Reality is all of true rich men have access to upscale bars, clubs, restaurants, country clubs, lounges where they can meet dozens of beautiful women, DAILY. In worst case he will book a girl trough established agency (his assistant will) if he is more of an introvert or has no time for socializing.

-top income on these site is NOT above 200k after taxes. And majority of those men are MARRIED, which means his wife has access to his cards/accounts and has knowledge of his financial behavior, do you think she won’t be suspicious if all of a sudden large amounts start missing from his account? Of course she will. Other are divorced with couple of kids, which means ALIMONY. So don’t expect mind blowing amounts spent on you.

-if he offers out of the blue 10k + apartment + car, most likely it is a SCAM. In order a man to be eligible for such spending on someone else his income should be at least 700-800k after taxes. In average, a man won’t spend more than 20% of his income on you. How do y'all think a man who earns 200k-300k will just drop half of his money on you? He also has daily/monthly/yearly expenses of his own. He’ll just go broke because of you? NO. Be realistic.

-there probably is one who is able to spend such amounts on you as mentioned above but finding him on these sites would be a pure luck. Like jackpot once in a blue moon.

-if he doesn’t discuss your allowance and what exactly he can offer in first few messages, he is probably not a legitimate SD, or just a Splenda most likely salt. A real SD knows the game. Don’t fall for that “make me a proposal/offer”. That’s BS.

-if he only offers to communicate via Skype he is almost sure a SCAM. Never settle for this type of communication, either he can video call via Viber or FaceTime. Say you don’t use Skype. Not negotiable.

-if he isn’t ready to provide his photos in first few exchanged texts, DROP him. There is no valid excuse for this. Unless he is on Forbes 100. Or running a Fortune 500 company. Which isn’t close to impossible. Always choose video call over exchanging photos. (What i recently witnessed was a man who sent me photos of a dead US businessman, he probably thought if we are from Europe I won’t know this) -luckily there is google image search

-ALWAYS and I repeat always try with google reverse image search. Also look up his number.

-if he refuses to tell you his full name there is a good reason behind it, a BAD one. Leave him.

-Under NO circumstances negotiate the sexual part of an arrangement, he exactly knows what he will be getting. You get the “dos and donts ” question, block him, real SD never asks such questions over the phone.

-make sure you discuss about his stated budget. Ask if those are his spending habits or he would be actually willing to spend that on you. Does that include only your allowance or it includes all of the monthly expenses he would have regarding you (e.g. Trips, dinners, gifts, shopping sprees etc)

-don’t be shy to ask anything you want to know prior to your meet, if you have any doubts or unclear stuff, ASK.

-if you are traveling/flying out to meet him make sure all of your transportation/flight tickets/hotel room is paid in full, IN ADVANCE, with email confirmation of the receipts which are NON REFUNDABLE. He can always cancel your hotel booking for example.

-if he asks you to fly out but to buy your own tickets and he’ll reimburse you when you meet, NEVER do this!!! Real SD would never ever propose such situation, or he will send you money prior to your meet so you can purchase it, if he doesn’t want it to be shown on his credit card.

-always bring your own money to a pot date, no matter if it’s just a coffee date or dinner or flying over to other city/country. Remember, he can walk out on you any time and leave you out to dry. Imagine if you don’t like him really and need to for example take another room, take your ticket earlier, take a taxi home etc, possibilities are endless. Make sure you are SAFE regarding funds.

-NEVER send more than 4 photos (2 showing your face and upper body and two showing your body from different angles/poses) any of these men asking for more are pic collectors. Whenever you can choose a video call over exchanging photos.

-if you meet him and he looks different than his photos LEAVE immediately. EVACUATE. Code RED. You think he is providing something substantial if he can’t even provide a proper photo of himself? NO.

-Never ever agree to unprotected sex. No excuses are valid enough. Even though you are in a long term arrangement he probably is seeing other women too. Unless he’ll provide you a STD check (HIV, HPV, HEP a, b, c too) not older than 48h prior to your rendezvous, from a clinic you personally chose. Medical checks, reports can be forged.

-make sure that you first get your end before giving him his part of the bargain. FIRST THE MONEY THEN THE HONEY. No peep shows, no trial periods, no compatibility checks. You see a meal you never tried in a restaurant, decided to order from the menu, you didn’t really like it, yet you still have to pay for it? YES.

-Do not fall for the first man that texts you, sugaring REQUIRES patience and practice.

-Do not settle for exclusivity unless all of your monthly expenses are fully covered plus there is spending money left, and enough for at least a month if he drops you out of the blue. Don’t think you will ever be his one and only.

-When he says NO DRAMA in his profile text that means no drama from you, not from him. No PROs or ESCORTs means he can’t afford one or he can’t afford to be screened, because he has something to hide - something BAD.

-if he is not able to meet in few days after your initial conversation he is most likely a TIME WASTER, or if he books you a ticket and not confirm two three days before the actual meet do not go, unless you want a free trip and have an interest of your own visiting that place.

-if he offers less than a 5* hotel accommodation, drop that cheap ass, he probably is just a SALT.

-when he states most important things for him are connection and affection he has no intention of compensating for your time.

-there is no UPPER age limits for being a sugar baby, you think he wouldn’t date J-Lo ? Yes he would but he can’t afford it! When guy says he prefers very young girls it’s because he knows they are easier to trick and have lack of experience.

-REMEMBER: if something is too good to be true it’s because it usually is. Don’t fall for words, SEEING is BELIEVING.

-if he somehow gets uncomfortable when getting a bill in the restaurant or makes comments on prices or starts making a face, never see him again, no real SD will make a comment over couple of bucks. If possible, check how much he tipped the waiter.

-if he says along the way he isn’t into luxury and prefers something more humble/down to earth, leave that mofo, YOU ARE a LUXURY.

-if he is too demanding compared to what he is providing, he is actually using you, do not fall for that (ask for way to many photos/text exchange etc)

Always keep this small reminder in your head.

Happy sugaring!!!

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

things we found out about evak in todays clip:

  • they wear matching outfits,,,,,,,,who even-
  • even drew a drawing of his and isaks face “morphed together” and put it up on their wall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,gross(which is originally drawn by pernille eleonora dieckmann!!!)
  • some other things that one can find on their wall: the “alt er love” quote, memes, drawings that were probably drawn while even was high and/or drunk, nas quotes, one of the pieces of papers that even gave to isak before they got together for real, a picture of a hamburger with a piercing(?????), the iconic pictures of a woman wearing a chador etcetc
  • there are clothes(and hats) everywhere meaning they’re both really messy(or they just felt like throwing their clothes off the second isak got home, whatever works)
  • they still have the duvets that isak would not change in season three, and i’m guessing he didn’t get better at changing them so
  • their wifi name is “yellow curtains”???? who even are they????
  • even does everything for isak bc isak is his baby, which has resulted in isak not knowing how to make tea(so when his friend asks for tea, he solves this with putting a tea bag in warm tap water,,,like,,,,)
  • they have a balcony, where they sit at night and have deep conversations and passionate make out sessions don’t even argue with me on this one
  • they have a big tv right by their bed, so even probably stays up a bit too late at night watching “friday” or some documentary about penguins or something weird while he holds isak close and slowly strokes his head
  • their curtains, drawers and chairs all match i-
  • they opened the door together like an old married couple and i dont even know what to say about that
  • they have fifa and there is not a single trace of doubt in my body that they’ve spent long hours playing that game, but since even somehow is a lot better than isak, isak always ends up getting mad and telling even how he wants to go to bed early(although this all changes when even cuddles him and tells him what a great fifa player he is)
  • even finally got himself a watch which he actually uses!!!!!
  • they’ve been together for a good few months but isak still gets all blushy as soon as even calls him 
  • they have “the chair” and i have never related to skam more in my life
  • they sure have a lot of shoes for only being two people 
  • even is so tall and i cannot cope like did you see his neck when he kissed isak wow im-
  • isak loves and trust even enough to be okay with the fact that there are some major things about even that he does not know and i think that’s is beautiful
JINX | Taehyung (M)

Originally posted by kimthwriter

Fluff | Crack | Smut | Neighbor!Taehyung | EMT!Taehyung | Enemies → lovers

You’ve had your sights set on Kim Taehyung ever since you’ve moved into the apartment next door to him, the only problem is that your klutz gene makes it difficult to get within three feet of the boy before a freak accident of some sort occurs

word count: 29k+

A/N: first of all i blame @bxebxee for the cumplay that occured in this hot mess, second of all IM SORRY its so long and third taehyung ended up a lot more… toxic than i anticipated so i wanted to warn against that and that i dont condone a lot of his actions/reactions or the toxicity of the relationship but its how his character and OC came out.

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I need to read percy jackson because i love them AUs

And i love torturing Lance so I give to you this percy jackson AU idea where Lance is the son of Hades because langst and Lance being a outcast are my soul, Shiro is the son of Aphrodite because look at the guy, and Keith is the son of Zeus

and uh… heres some more idea for it

LANCE

  • son of Hades, not well liked
  • really hates that he’s the son of Hades
  • really misses his mother and his siblings, like really really misses them
  • just wants to be normal and go home
  • most new campers assume he’s aphrodites son because he’s a flirt and kind of attractive and they don’t know the ropes yet which always leads to an awkward moment when they ask because he kinda wants to say yes
  • would literally die for his friends
  • and by firends he means hunk, and later pidge, who are the only people that hang out with him
  • is incredibly jealous of keith because everyone loves him and he’s the son of zeus, is incredibly angered by keith because the guy doesnt even care
  • has an obession with water and swimming

KEITH

  • son of Zeus, adored all over
  • couldn’t care less about any of this halfblood stuff
  • was an ophran before he ended up at camp halfblood, knew Shiro before Shiro was taken in by the Holts
  • honestly more interested in his mum than he is zeus
  • does not understand lance, like at all.  the guy seems to have an obession with keith and has created this whole rivalry and keiths just like ‘so thats a thing i guess?’
  • despite being liked, doesnt really have any close friends until Shiro shows up
  • really wants to help shiro settle in, isn’t sure he wants to help shiro get his memories back  

SHIRO

  • son of Aphrodite, has been named the favourite by other campers
  • like keith, he doesn’t care much about his godly parent or anyone elses godly parent
  • also like keith, was an orphan however he ended up in the holts are instead of camp halfblood
  • shiro doesnt actually know how he ended up in camp halfblood.  one day he’s fishing with matt and sam and then something happened (he’s not sure what) and he woke up at camp halfblood
  • really wants to remember what happened that day, and find sam and matt
  • at the very least he wants to assure the holt girls that he’s alive, unfortunitly he’s not allowed to
  • mostly sticks with keith, both can usually be found training because they’re keith and shiro and what do you mean training all day every day isn’t healthy?

PIDGE

  • not a halfblood
  • however she is the first human to ever be able to fake being a halfblood
  • snuck into camp halfblood and has contiuned to pretend she just hasn’t been claimed yet, because of this she (like lance) is mostly an outcast however she (unlike lance) doesnt mind so much
  • their mutaul outcastness somehow lead to lance and pidge being friends and therefore hunks also a friend
  • the reason she snuck into camp halfblood was because matt and sam went missing and matt is actually the son of a god (athena) so Pidge thinks camp halfblood may have some useful iinformation

HUNK

  • son of hephaestus
  • also doesnt care about parentage. honestly the only one out of the 5 that does is lance and he only really cares about his own he aint gonna judge you
  • because he doesnt care, he didn’t mind being friends with lance when the other had no one and now they are best friends
  • also hates keith, mostly because lance does
  • like lance, would die for his friends (just with more fear)

ALLURA

  • daughter of athena, hella feared but also hella admired and liked
  • when you met her she is pretty and regal but dont be fooled, she can and will beat your ass for hitting on her.  some how lance keeps managing to forget this
  • like lance she also cares about parentage and can be hella judgemental.  she despises lance because he’s hades son.  lance will never have a chance with her
  • her father also used to be at camp halfblood as a counselor, however he was killed
  • since his death she’s been looked after mostly by coran and also has gone into prepare-for-revenage mode

CORAN

  • a counselor at the camp
  • didn’t like lance at first, however he paid attention and noticed how self-sacrificing lance was and has a soft spot for him (it helps that lance saved his life this one time)
  • adores allura, wishes she and lance would just get along but knows its not going to happen
  • isn’t fooled by Pidge but is letting her stay anyway because he understands why she’s there
  • is banned from the kitchen, now and forever

THE GALRA

  • Halfbloods who desire to rule over humanity or maybe just destory it
  • Lead by Zarkon, who i’m thinking is either the son od Zeus (therefore entitled and also connection to Keith) or Hades (again entitled because big 3, and also evil connotation, also he’d have a connection to Lance which could lead to some Lance betrayals because he’s treated like shit)
  • Regularly kidnap other halfbloods to force them to become galra soliders, such is the intended fate of Matt
  • Regularly kidnaps humans to be slaves, such is the intended fate of Samuel and also Shay’s family
  • Shiro was their most promising of kidnapped soilders, however he was saved by a BoM member and taken to camp halfblood, not that Shiro remembers any of that
  • The BoM is a huge pain in Zarkon’s side but Haggar is the one that most  deals with them, they’re halfbloods who were taken by Zarkon or joined him willing and later realized how fucked up the situation was and managed to escape or become an undercover agent
  • Zarkon used to be a big deal at camp halfblood, and then he killed Alfor because Alfor didn’t agree with him

OTHER THINGS

  • thace and coran are probably dating
  • and only lance knows, he finds it super gross cause to him it’s like watching your parents flirt badly in front of you
  • which is fitting since coran basically adopted lance and all
  • lance finds allura incredibly attractive and enjoys flirting with her.  however he enjoys flirting with her because it makes for excellent training when she gets mad, he would be so lost if she ever responded positively
  • totally drooling over Shiro becase hello, look at him
  • Shiro is completely unaware, keith is not.
  • Klance or Shance would totally be the end came.
  • Despite Zarkons best efforts most of humanity is still completely unaware of the halfbloods exisitence.  
  • Voltron is the name giving to a squad like no squad.  this squad ends up being the main 5 (funnily enough)

If someone could write this for me i’d be in love

OK guys hear me out on this but- I think that the entire TAZ world, or at least the seven red-robes are running on a constant majoras mask/refuge year long loop that resets with the earth being devoured by The Hunger, and that there is a second voidfish that (up until now) kept this a secret

There will be a tl;dr at the end

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autistic in a heatwave tips!

we’re having a heatwave !! which is lovely because i love hot weather, but im bad at temperature adjustment and regulation which can be bad. i also know that lots of other autistics find hot weather sensory hell, so here r a few things that i find help:

- you dont Have to be in the sun all day. lots of people will say stuff tht makes u feel guilty about “wasting the good weather”, but they dont know how it affects u personally, so do whats best for u. if u wanna stay inside all day or never leave the shade, do it!! its better to b comfortable than anything else
- this goes doubly if u live in a place where u actually get aircon in non commercial buildings
- wear as few clothes as possible. sounds obvious, but youd be surprised at how much difference not having even one layer makes. if youre self conscious abt ur body, invest in some mesh or sheer clothing - its stylish, v thin and light, and will obscure ur form - if u r wearing clothes, wet them !! this helps So Much its my fav tip. wetting a hat or pouring water down ur shirt cools u down a load, and can help u stay cool until it all evaporates. last year i managed to be the only one to mostly avoid heatstroke when hiking by doing this. having wet trousers/shorts is sensory hell for me, so i stick to just my shirt. if u cant cope w that, keep a damp cloth on u and put it on ur skin whenever u can
- drink A Lot. if ur thirsty, ur probably already dehydrated. dehydration can lead to feeling sick, headachy, and exasperates sensory issues (i usually burn out twice as often if im dehydrated). to avoid this, drink lots of water. do u hate drinking water? yeah, me too. keeping a bottle full on u is good because its just There so u end up drinking it because its smth to do.
alternately, drink lots of juice/iced tea/soda (fizzy drinks dehydrate u a bit, but theyre better than nothing!)
if u wanna rehydrate quickly, sports drinks r the way to go bc they replace electrolytes (cheap alternative: dissolve salt n sugar into water)
- crunch on ice !! it cools u down, it hydrates u, and u can Lov The Cronch
- dont get burnt: it leads to sunburn which is Sensory Hell, can give u heat stroke, and long term skin damage. do u hate sun cream? Me Too, but its better than sunburn. instead of the gross lotiony suncreams, u can get oil based ones (p20 is the brand here, idk if its international) which tend to b more expensive, but last a full 24hrs, feel non gloopy, and dont smell as strong
- sleep w just a bed sheet as covers bc its much cooler, but u still have the feeling of smth covering u
- ur feet r the most important for temp regulation , so keep them cool most importantly
- cold showers r great but also painful so a softer alternative is room temp showers bc theyll still cool u down without freezing ur various body parts off
- mope on the floor like 24/7 it doesnt exactly cool u down but it doesnt use much energy n its perfect for that summery sluggishness. fav activity 10/10 would recommend

anyone else pls add on suggestions!!

anonymous asked:

You have the BEST stories! Can you tell me a bedtime story?

i will tell you a story friends, and probably you will regret asking me to do so, because its not really a very restful story. i….dont really have any of those.


this is the story of how steve and a horse almost gave me a heart attack.
back when i was a kid, cars were a thing that existed but were mostly really really expensive, so horses were still a common sight on the streets of brooklyn. most of these horses were exceedingly large, calm animals; they hauled around big carts of stuff on crowded streets. back then, milk was delivered to your doorstep by a milkman. the milkman who worked our block was mr. davies, and he was this very nice older black gentleman. i mention that he’s black because racism was Very Much A Thing (oh how times have changed). but mr davies always had peppermint candies in his pockets to give to thunderhead, his horse, and he would always give one to stevie and i if he saw us. so stevie loved mr davies, and if anyone was being disrespectful towards him because he was black, stevie would pretty much blow his top. mr davies loved steve for it, of course. but since mr daives didnt want to get steve in trouble, he’d usually whistle me over (if i wasnt already there) to haul steve off before he did something drastic. mr davies was great like that. 

anyway, mr davies was around every morning dropping off milk with thunderhead. thunderhead was this huge dapple grey horse, i think a percheron?? a big draft horse, with hooves about the size of a dinner plate. aside from her size, her name was probably the most intimidating thing about her, because she was the most mild-mannered horse ive ever met. she would let all the little neighborhood kids climb all over her, and mr davies would usually let two or three of us ride on her back down the street. she never really noticed the extra weight. i think that if mr davies ever slept in, thunderhead would go walk his route without him. she loved stevie too–but for very different reasons. steve’s hair apparently looked exactly like hay to her, so she’d wander over and start lipping the top of his head. she never nipped or anything, but steve always got amusingly flaily when she did it, and i always suspected she thought it was funny.

one boiling hot summer morning, steve and i were sitting on the front steps of our building, just wasting time. it was early, but already awfully hot out, so when mr davies rounded the corner, steve decided to go meet him, but i stayed on the steps. it was hot. i didnt wanna move. 

anyway, steve went trotting down the block, said hi to old mrs mckinnon, who was on her way to get groceries, and was about a hundred feet away from mr davies and thunderhead when the wind picked up. it was a very nice refreshingly cool breeze, which picked up some of the debris–old newspapers and leaves and such–hanging around and tossed it across the road. 

now, if you know horses, you know that sometimes they get terrified by utterly ridiculous things. im told many horses nowadays think plastic bags are the minions of evil, and horses back then were much the same. id never seen thunderhead scared before, but i guess a bit of newspaper whipped in front of her and was the spitting image of Pony Satan himself, because her eyes went white around the edges and she took off running. mr davies was around back of the cart, getting milk out, so there was nobody at the reins to stop her. she went tearing down the block, the cart bouncing along behind, like there was a pack of slavering borzoi chasing after. and of course she was headed right at steve and old mrs mckinnon. 

steve, being the brave little idiot he was, didnt run; old mrs mckinnon wouldnt be able to get out of the way in time, so he stood his ground, flung his arms out, and waited to get trampled by a rogue milk cart. all of us there thought we were gonna be scraping tiny blonde guy off the pavement, because thunderhead just kept going. 

but about ten feet away from steve, thunderhead must have recognized him, because she went to a screeching stop. four feet down, all her knees locked, skiddin on the cobblestones. normally, she’d probably have been able to stop in that distance, but she was still harnessed to that heavy milk cart, so instead she plowed right into stevie, chest first. 

he went flying. he mustve gone about six feet through the air, and he hit the ground and just laid there like a sack of really dead potatoes. i thought he must have broken his little toothpick spine. poor thunderhead looked just as scared as i was, because she got her feet back under her and crept up on him like the cart wasnt jangling right behind her. she dropped her nose down and started whuffing and lipping at his hair, and he popped up like a damn weasel. little moron was fine. he nearly gave me and mr davies and old mrs mckinnon and thunderhead all a heart attack, but he was fine. 

and mr davies gave him his whole bag of peppermints, and mrs mckinnon gave him a chocolate, so he didnt even learn to not do stupid shit like that.

OVERCOME (M)

Originally posted by jeonify


GENRE: noona&youngerboy, smut

BACKGROUND: Jungkook’s first time had left him traumatized of having sex ever again. It had gone so far to the point that a rumor had even spread about him not being able to get hard-ons. You then decide to step in and prove the rumor wrong. What was supposed to be a simple test of theory leads to a night that you weren’t going to forget for the rest of your life.

AUTHORS NOTE: Omg I haven’t written something in so long. I’m so sorry this took me quite a while. This actually started as a drabble but I kind of got too into it and finished it into a full blown story. I’ll be working on the remaining requests sent to me before, soon I promise you guys, I’m just trying to come up with ideas! But I do hope you enjoy this, tell me what you think. 

Jeon, as forever, is a sinful little shit. 

If there are any errors, I am sorry about those! I did proof read but I know I still missed some. 


Your pen hangs off of your lips, fingers tapping lightly against the glass table as you study the boy in front of you. He has his face buried between the pages of his Physics book, eyes scanning through each paragraph in close precision, oblvious of your scrutiny. You slowly turn your logistics book shut, choosing to ignore your studies as the conversation you had with your brother during last night’s party flashes through your mind.

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“Don’t bother,” he replies grimly, “I said I wasn’t interested in this. If we fucked, sorry for leading you on, if we didn’t, I don’t know why you’d want to be associated with me anyways.” And Harry wants this conversation to end right there, now that he’s said his piece, so he looks back towards Y/N and says, “These are organic grapes, no?”

The girl gets the hint, leaving with a huff and Y/N tuts her tongue at him.

“You’re so mean, Harry! What if she really liked you?”

Harry shakes his head, “She liked my cock not me.” He says apathetically, and Y/N’s face turns towards sheepish like it always does when the mere mention of his escapades comes to head (which it doesn’t often, but he knows Y/N has ears and she hears things), “‘sides, she was rude to you. I don’t like that.” He straightens out, “Did you take your medicine?”

or

Harry doesn’t really like people, but he likes Y/N

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OFF THE CUFF HOMESTUCK THOUGHTS #3: THE SELF PILE DOESN’T STOP FROM GETTING TALLER OR: THE PROBLEM OF DEAD MARIOS

DISCLAIMER

IMPORTANT THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

Otayuri High School AU (because of reasons)

-Yuri is the freshman sports prodigy on the track team (because most schools probably dont have a figure skating team)

-Otabek is the senior captain of the debate club (trust me ok? just hear me out)

-Yuri gets dragged to a debate by Viktor who wants to watch his “sweet adorable Yuuri win!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

-People recognize Yuri and find it weird that the angry track team freshman is watching a debate with school heartthrob Viktor Nikiforov

- Otabek sits at the end of the table in the captain’s position with Yuuri on his left and isnt Otabek that guy that Mila keeps talking about ???

-Yuri tries to focus of the debate (not like he wanted to watch people argue anyway) but he cant ???????? because Otabek keeps doing this thing with his jaw and its really attractive distracting OF NO SIGNIFICANCE WHAT SO EVER

-Yuri thinks it’s weird that Otabek hasnt said a word throughout the whole match because he’s the captain so ???? shouldnt he be ????? you know ???? doing something ?????

-Viktor suddenly gets really excited when the opposing school calls out Otabek on his silence

-Yuri is really confused because the whole room is silent and even Viktor finally shut up so what is he missing ????????

-the opposing school looks really smug (Yuri is not happy bc he has that school spirit) when Otabek clears his throat and stands

-he has no notes ??????

-everyone else had notes ??????? so where are Otabek’s notes ??????

-there’s a beat of silence and Otabek barely says twenty words but even Yuri knows that the debate is over and holy shit his voice-IMEANWHAT

-he has to know more about this Word Magician because who cares about running when this boy just shut up a table of annoying teenagers ???

-Viktor and Mila tease him senselessly about his “little crush” WHICH IT IS NOT

-he just happens to find him… admirable

-turns out, when they do meet, that otabek had been the one admiring him ever since he joined the track team

-bc otabek just loves the grace and speed that Yuri seems to so naturally possess ????

-but Yuri, who has never been good with words or conversation, cant get over how easily Otabek is able to get out of conversations or keep them going without really saying/doing much ????

-they become besties quickly after they meet and are pretty much inseparable

-you really cant have one without the other involved in some way (they’re texting each other or talking on the phone or they’re both present)

-otabek picks Yuri up from track and cheers him on at races

-yuri goes to all of otabek’s debates and is honestly the most excited person there

-they call each other Beka and Yura obviously mila teases Yuri about it to no end

-eventually, they both realize they have it bad for each other and no amount of teasing is going to make it any easier im looking at you mila

-oops

how to tackle dreadful classes

yes im back at it again with the horrible intros masterposts!! (honestly im not even gonna try bc the title is self explanatory and im just gonna ruin this post if i go any further oh no i already did it rip)

((WARNING: THIS IS RLY LONG)

1. figure out why you hate this class. is it because you find it boring? you’re not doing so well/you don’t like the challenge? do you dislike the teacher? do you dislike your seat/the classroom/setting? whatever it is, figure it out and then work to eliminate it.

1.a. you find the class boring. this is inevitable because there’s always that one class ;; BUT! you can beat this! throw yourself into the class. find something about the class that you actually like and focus on that for the whole period. examples of this are: your seating (do u sit next to someone cool/nice? maybe a cute person that u rly wanna talk to? [uh don’t let this distract u tho!!]), the benefits of the class (if it’s an ap class, youre earning college credits!! might even help with your major; if its a language class, learning a language is SO important), the setting (is the room aesthetically pleasing? do you get to look out of the window at the blue sky when you’re done with your work?) or even the teacher (lmao i have more teacher friends than student friends). maybe it’s even the fact that it’s’ the first class in the morning, so if you do well in it, it’ll set the tone of your day? idk, just find something that’s not boring and focus on that all period. !!

1.b. you’re not doing well/it’s too hard for you. honey, this isn’t an excuse. even if you suck at a class, YOUR EDUCATION IS HELLA IMPORTANT. once again, throw yourself into the class! find people who are good at the subject and form study groups with them (or just ask ur own friends if ur too scared to talk to new people). TALK TO YOUR TEACHER. dont just sit there crying because you dont know how to solve that equation! ask for help! go on youtube, go on khanacademy, go on kuta, DO SOMETHING. even if you still continue to struggle, your teacher will appreciate the effort! 

1.c. you dislike the teacher. this is probably one of the worst ones lol. why do you not like the teacher? is it because they never call on you? is it because you think they’re too hard on you/they grade things viciously/too much homework and tests? do they always seem to be after you? well, some of these might actually be your fault. many students think that the workload is more than it actually is, simply because they don’t plan and aren’t prepared. or, some teachers target students for being bullies or for talking in class. these are things you can change. however, if it’s something like your teacher never calling on you or coming at you for no reason, that’s something you and your teacher have to discuss. ask them (POLITELY) “i feel like i am targeted/ignored by you during class and it makes me uncomfortable. is there anything i can do to change this?” chances are, your teacher will like that you’ve taken initiative to not only fix your relationship, but ultimately do better in their class. BAM.

1.d. you dislike the setting/your seat. quick fix: if you don’t like where you sit, ask your teacher to move you (dont forget to give a valid reason!! this does not mean lie. i see u) however, if you dont like the actual room…there’s nothing u can do about this; sorry bub! MAYBE if you and your teacher get close, you can help them redecorate one day? this is unlikely but worth a shot.

1.e. if it’s really THAT bad, switch classes, my dude. i know lots of schools have the option to switch classes at a certain time.

2. work to solve whatever the reason is that you hate this class. (mentioned next to each cause above ^)

(i just realized that i didn’t need to number this because there were only two main bullet points)

ok this is literally the worst masterpost ever but !!!!

also: what do do about classes you hate by @tbhstudying!!

[[i really hoped this helped + sorry for the crappy masterpost (’: ]]

-jul

kitchen sink

James Potter to all children grow up except four: so if i’m john lennon

James Potter: then sirius is ringo starr

James Potter: remus is paul mccartney

James Potter: and pete can be pete best

Peter Pettigrew: ok

Remus Lupin: i can deal with that

Sirius Black: i heard ringo starr was a massive dick

James Potter: exactly my point

Sirius Black: blocked


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