but i don't know what the hell i'm gonna do with it when it's finished!

luna-person  asked:

(2/2) Also, can shiro proposing to keith be a yearly thing( building on the "I'll say yez to you if you asked me 50 times they don't have to get married every year just think it'd be cute(though they'd definitely get married on the 50th year)) And, I think one of my favorite tropes in the family au so far is keith calling shiro nicknames (such as bro, dude ,man, etc.)and keith going monotone (I live for it)(I'm scrolling through your voltron family tag and it's amazing, so sorry for spam) xoxo ♡

OKAY. I absolutely ADORE the fact that Keith and Shiro calls each other “BRO” “DUDE” “MAN” too despite being married ‘cause I just find it utterly hilarious that’s why it makes its appearance from time to time. ;) They did call each other “BRO” and “DUDE” when they got together even when Shiro proposed. Keith going monotone LMAO I’m so happy you live for that because SAME. 

The 50 times thing Keith said is not joke. SHIRO DOES PROPOSE YEARLY. Let’s have a breakdown on how it went through the years.

[The Voltron Family] The times Takashi Shirogane proposed to Keith. They didn’t always have a wedding because that’s just absurd. They, however, do something special, like a dinner date.

[1st]  We know this was during their 8th year of dating. Had a wedding in Japan with the parents and all—traditional Japanese style.

[2nd] He proposed while they watched CSI before sleeping. Had their second wedding in Japan—modern style. The kids were there.

[3rd] Keith was eating his cereal because he was stayed up late editing so he didn’t have the energy to cook anything for his breakfast. Also he woke up late, it was already noon. Shiro went down to the kitchen and saw his husband, still in his Adventure Time pyjamas, messy bed hair everywhere, eyes closing every 5 seconds, spoon hanging in the air. 

Shiro: Good Morning, sleepy head. *gives Keith a kiss on the cheek*
Keith: Who are you? *blinks sleepily* *spoon still hanging in the air*
Shiro: *bends down to take Keith’s spoon and eat his cereal*
Keith: What the hell? *tries to look angry but is still sleepy*
Shiro: *gulps* *chuckles* Marry me?
Keith: *eyes widens* *blinks repeatedly* Looking like this?
Shiro: *examines Keith* Looking like a college student who had 10 minutes of sleep because of thesis paper and is definitely not ready to face the day to take not only one, but five of his final exams? *smiles* DEFINITELY.
Keith: *rolls his eyes while smiling fondly* Fine. Gimme a second to wash my face and we can let the kids wed us.
Shiro: Perfect. *leans in the give Keith a peck on the lips* KIDS!!!! DADDIES ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!! 
Pidge: AGAIN? *shouts back*
Shiro: WHAT IS WITH THAT TONE, YOUNG LADY? YES. AGAIN.

[4th] Keith was washing the cars with the help of Shiro. He stepped on the stepping ladder to reach the top when he was met with Shiro on the other side.

Shiro: *beams* Marry me, oh sweet sexy car washer guy!
Keith: This sweet sexy car washer guy will only marry the other sexy car washer guy if they actually finish washing the cars. *throws foams of bubbles at Shiro’s face*
Shiro: *still beaming* *foam lands on his nose* I’ll take that as a yes!

[5th] They were doing groceries at the PRODUCE section with the kids when suddenly Keith turned around to call for Shiro and he saw him down on one knee, holding out a beansprout tied at its ends in a poor attempt of a ring.

Keith: I’m not that cheap! *places hand on chest* *scandalized*
Shiro: *holds out another beansprout ring* *smiles*
Keith: Now that’s what I’m talking about. I like my men rich. *holds out one hand for Shiro to put his rings on*

[6th] Keith was in the bathroom when Shiro knocked. 

Shiro: *opens the door to enter* *slides the shower curtain aside* *frantic* Keith, will you marry me?!!
Keith: *eyes widens* *tries to cover his body with more bubbles* SHIRO WHAT THE HELL? *slips in the bathtub*
Shiro: *catches Keith in time* Why hello there, handsome. Did it hurt? When you fell for me? *wiggles eyebrows*
Keith: Shiro, I love you but I swear to god I’m going to kill you.
Shiro: Great! That’s settled then! I’ll pick you up at 8pm for our dinner date, fiance~ *winks* *leans down to kiss Keith on the lips* *blinks repeatedly as he tastes his own lips* Huh, soapy.

[7th] Keith received an urgent call from Shiro telling him to come immediately to the hospital, he wouldn’t tell him what the emergency was, just that Keith needed to be there ASAP. So Keith drove as fast as he could, leaving early from work. He looked for Shiro frantically until he found him, looking devastated in his own office.

Keith: Shiro, what’s wrong? *approaches him* *places hand on his shoulders*
Shiro: Keith, I want you to be calm, alright? 
Keith: Okay. *nods*
Shiro: I got my recent heart scan and I found out that…
Keith: *gulps* *sweats nervously* Yes?
Shiro: *sighs* I guess it’s better you see it yourself. *takes out a big brown folder from his drawer and hands it to Keith*
Keith: *takes it and opens it* *the scan reveals Shiro’s heart but in there were white veins that spelled out “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”* 
Shiro: *smirks*
Keith: *looks up* *slaps Shiro* *smiling* I FUCKING HATE YOU! 
Shiro: *laughs* *grabs Keith’s hand to stop him from slapping him further*
Keith: Though I gotta hand it to you, this is really creative.
Shiro: Yeah? You think so too? *looks at the X-Ray.
Keith: Yeah… *looks up at Shiro and slaps him again* DON’T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!
Shiro: *chuckles* Sorry, sorry! But I just couldn’t resist. So? What’s your answer? *smiles fondly at Keith while interlacing their hands*
Keith: Of course, it’s a yes. You still have 44 proposals to go.
Shiro: *smirks* Wow. Someone’s counting.
Keith: Someone has to. I wonder what you’ll do next year. Gonna get creative every year, aren’t we?
Shiro: *sways them* I dunno. I could propose while I’m pooping—
Keith: And I’d still say yes. *leans in to give Shiro a peck on the lips*
Shiro: *chuckles* Wow, okay. I know you liked me, but I didn’t know you liked me THAT much, Keith!

KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR PT.1
  • <p> <b></b> Michael POV<p/><b></b> "Man I didn't even really wanna go to prom, it was just a bunch of overly horny niggas and bitches that spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on one night that would be over before it began" I said as me and my bestfriend Metri sat at the food court in the mall. "Bitch shut the fuck up you know you wanna go, you just mad cause you don't have a date yet, and you extra salty cause Darrien ain't ask you yet" he laughed as he took a bite of his chick-fil-a sandwhich. He was right though I actually did wanna go but I only wanted to go with one person and that was him, waiting on him to ask me to prom was like waiting in line for new Jordan's to drop it takes forever. "Yeah whatever Bitch, he ain't gonna ask me so Im just over it, it's only a week an a half left till prom and I don't have a tux or limo shit I'm mad as hell I brought that $100 ticket" I said actually becoming mad a little. " Calm down Mike, you'll get asked and if you don't you can come with me and Travis" he replied trying to cherler me up. "GREAT!!, so I can be a third wheel, na I'll pass" I retorted honestly. We finished our meal and did a little more shopping as we were leaving I seen darrien and some other boy walking on I quickly grabbed metri and duck behind this big ass flower pot outside the mall. "BITCH, I'll smack the shit outta you bout to give me whip flash better be glad me and Jesus ace boon coons in this new year don't do that shit no more" he said but I ignored everything he said and said " Look, there go Darrien and some other boy going in the mall, do you know him?" I asked because my Bitch been around the block and up the street a few times. " Yeah that's Evan he got a big dick, Mmm.. A really big-". " Michael?" Someone asked from behind me and from the voice I knew exactly who it was. " He-hey Darrien funny running into you here haha" I say nervously beings I was just caught hiding behind a flower pot at 3 in the afternoon. " What you doing behind this flower pot, hey Metri" he said as he hugged us both. "Well I was-we were- he needed" I couldn't speak at all so like a true bestfriend my bitch quickly said " We were here looking at tuxs for prom, how about you guys and hey Evan!" He said as he gave Evan that look that make ya mom uncomfortable cause she no her son getting dicked down right. "Wassup Metri, still looking sexy as ever, you a stranger thou shawty, I see ya new nigga got you in lock huh?" Evan replied licking his lips and I'll admit I got alil turned on. "please don't get him started on niggas" I said as I pulled darriens so we could talk away from those two knuckle heads.<p/><b></b> Darrien POV<p/><b></b> I'll admit it Michael was looking so fine right now he had his hair I'm braids that led to a man bun and his ass was sitting right, I spotted him and Metri walking out the mall as soon as we got close to the steps o seen him duck down behind that flower pot and all that. "So why was you hiding again?" I asked him because I wanted a answer. " ok truth is I seen you and Evan and I didn't know him so I thought-" before he could finish I said " I was cheating, Oh okay, nah shawty I'm not going no where". " So if that's true why haven't you asked me to prom yet Darrien we only have a week basically to get his shit together, is cause I'm a boy and your parents don't know" he said and I could see the hurt in his eyes. " Come on man! Don't start with that, look I love you and I always will but I'm just not ready for my parents to know yet" I honestly said.<p/><b></b> Me and Michael been messing around since sophomore year and we are now seniors, I came out at school for him cause I really do love him I just haven't told my parents yet.<p/><b></b> "Don't do what! D, explain to the guy I love that I wanna be with him whole heartily I fucking love ya bigheaded ass and I just wanna spend this night with you" he said as tears rolled down his face. Before I could reply he grabbed Metri and left me standing there. "damn, bro you fucked up this time huh?" Evan said walking over as we watched them leave. " Man shut up nigga, I didn't do shit, he wanna go to prom with me but I haven't told my parents about us yet, don't get me wrong I love his ass a lot but I'm not ready yet man, what you think?" I asked him cause he was my boy and he keep it 100 with me. " I think that you should take his ass to prom, tell ya parents and move on if that accept you great if they don't go to college with ya man and start a new life my nigga, for to long we love for others because what they might think or feel bit what about us?" He said as we entered Zumiez " Since when did you become Mr. Knowitall" I said mushing his head. " Since I came out 2 months ago and my mom accept me but you know pops ain't wit it but he cool" he replied which made me think about my next move and how I was gonna tell my parents that there only child was gay and wanted to go to prom with a boy!! Damn.<p/><b></b> If you like this first little snippet of my new tumble story "Knight in shining armor" please please please #reblog and comment lemme know wassup I'll beposting updates every Wednesday and the chapters will be much longer this is just a tease!!<p/></p>
The signs when arguing and how to deal with it
  • ☯ Please use your sun/mars signs ☯
  • Aries: They will go off and won't stop no matter how much of their judgement is altered. Most of the time they get too flustered up with emotion about the subject or they feel hurt, so they stop thinking and just pour out what's in the top of their head.
  • How to deal with it - Don't argue back. Just be patient, ask them to take a breath and know that they aren't meaning to hurt you in any way. Let them cool off on their own
  • Taurus: Stubborn as hell and won't back down until proven right - at least that's the stereotype.
  • How to deal with it - Honestly just let them talk for once. The only reasons Tauruses argue is because no one is letting them get their point across. Let them speak for once, sit tight and listen and then speak. At least the both of you will be heard.
  • Gemini: Literally everything you say will be considered wrong. They probably won't try to look at your side from the argument and they get kinda defensive about their views.
  • How to deal with it - Geminis can be a bit stubborn so it's hard to handle it at first, but most of the time it's best just to let them keep talking. If you argue back with them that'll just fuel the fire
  • Cancer: They get vicious. Don't be fooled about that stereotype where they're all sweet as hell, when you get into an argument with them things can get ugly.
  • How to deal with it - Know that when they say something to hurt you, that means you probably hurt them in some way. Try to find middle ground and the reason why you two are fighting in the first place.
  • Leo: No matter what they're always gonna think they're right. Sometimes they can get caught up with their own feelings and reasonings and refuse to look at anyone elses until they are heard first.
  • How to deal with it - I know this may seem hard at first but try to hear them out before you talk about your side. Let them know you understand, and after they've calmed down feel free to talk about how you feel. Leos are extremely caring and understanding up until they are upset in any way, so let them cool down first.
  • Virgo: They're fucking scary. If you get into an argument with a virgo, they can say some nasty things that cut right into you core. The worst part is that they always know what to say.
  • How to deal with it - It'll probably hurt you a lot or make you angry when you fight with them, but honestly I wouldn't. When you get upset, that makes them even more fired up and it creates chaos. It's okay to argue back but it's best to just leave them alone and talk to them later before they say something they may regret.
  • Libra: If anything, they'll get feisty. They aren't the type to full blown attack you but they can get overwhelmed and snap at you.
  • How to deal with it - Leave them alone. Libras need their space, and if you pick that time to argue with them about something they'll literally just shut you down before you finish talking. Leave. Them. Alone. Talk to them about it later.
  • Scorpio: Terrifying. They make a full 180 from their normally happy and humourous personality and just turn extremely mean. Most of the time they don't mean to say nasty things and they don't want to hurt you, but they get so caught up with their feelings they can't help it.
  • How to deal with it - This ones a hard one and probably one of the only bad things about scorpios. It's important to stay calm, because if you freak out they'll only get more upset because they see that they're hurting you and they get angry at themselves. Leave them alone, or if you can handle it try to ease them out of it and comfort them. Sounds weird to do in a middle of an argument, but trust me they're more mad at themselves than they are at you.
  • Sagittarius: They don't get mad easily but they cool down extremely fast. Don't let that fool you though, if you argue with a sagittarius it's like trying to defuse a bomb and having it blow up in your face.
  • How to deal with it - literally just let them wear themselves out and make them laugh. They're fairly simple to make up with and are willing to compromise with you if you just get them to chill.
  • Capricorn: Why are you even arguing with them? It's hard to get them to listen to you because they can be stubborn as hell and always want to have their own way.
  • How to deal with it - This is probably the hardest one. If you give them a good enough reason they will listen to you but you have to treat it a bit like a debate, but do not get heated. If you stay calm when speaking to them then you'll have a better chance.
  • Aquarius: They have a whole bunch of facts and shit to prove you wrong and like the other air signs; they'll always think they're right.
  • How to deal with it - A lot of them have a hard time listening to people when they have something to say, so let them go first and ask them if you can speak. This sounds like a weird play during an argument but it'll prevent heated and bias views. Aquariuses won't make sense if they're fired up and that'll only just make them sad or upset
  • Pisces: Literally arguments will go on for days passively or they will blow up. It's never in between, it's one or the other. Pisces usually hide their feelings and gradually bring it up passive aggressively starting small arguments that die down quickly and return again, or they get so overwhelmed with emotion they slay the shit out of you.
  • How to deal with it - You're not gonna win by getting upset. It's about being honest and letting them truly come out with how they feel also. It's kinda hard to do that especially when they keep going "No really, i'm fine" when they actually aren't. Sometimes you just need to confront them to settle it once and for all. Even if they blow up it's better than them throwing shade at you for something that happened months ago
which nations to hug
  • italy: he loves hugs and his day will be brightened if you hug him. also why wouldn't you want to hug him though like this is italy we're talking about. hug italy.
  • germany: he'd be really awkward and uncomfortable at first but he'd definitely hug back, at least out of politeness. hug germany.
  • japan: he doesn't really like physical contact in general. he'll probably blush bright red and try and shuffle away. if you like that kind of stuff then sure go for it. maybe hug japan.
  • america: he'll be really excited if you hug him, kind of like italy. you may be raised in the air at one point. hug america.
  • england: he is against hugs in general unless they are from very specific people. he will fight you because there is a really really high chance that you are not one of the specific people. do not hug england.
  • france: he will most likely interpret you hugging him as a signal that you are also okay with being kissed on the cheek. maybe hug france.
  • russia: he's a cinnamon roll???? sure he might accidentally crush you with the force of his teddy bear hug but it would be an accident???? hug russia.
  • china: if he's in a good mood, he'll hug back and be a lil fluffle. he's usually in a good mood. it's a good idea. hug china.
  • canada: why wouldn't you want to hug canada though seriously. he's precious and pure and will probably make a cute little squeaky sound because you will have caught him off guard and then he'll hug back and be adorable. hug canada.
  • prussia: he'll grumble about it but hug you back and be internally screaming that someone hugged him and jumping up and down in joy but externally he will seem a bit annoyed. hug prussia.
  • romano: he might try and murder you. he does not want to be hugged. not even by spain. maybe by spain. do not hug romano.
  • spain: omf yes. he's so cute just hug him already. i know you want to. do it. do it now. hug spain.
  • netherlands: he will be annoyed kinda a bit and he won't hug back so it's not really worth it. do not hug netherlands.
  • belgium: she'll probably offer you a free waffle just for hugging her because she's a cutie and she needs more hugs and appreciation and things. hug belgium.
  • finland: i'm not even gonna bother explaining why you should hug him. you should know this already. oh my god. hug finland.
  • sweden: he'll just stand there and wait for you to finish hugging him and it'll be awkward and stressful and any little conversation you might have been having will be gone. do not hug sweden.
  • denmark: he could probably break your bones with the force of his hugs but it'll be fun i swear. hug denmark.
  • norway: before you go running off and hugging him, please ask yourself whether you want to be cursed and haunted by like 500 spirits and stuff. the answer is no. do not hug norway.
  • iceland: he hates hugs. he will hate you. he will burn you in the flames of hell. however, his expression when you hug him is totally worth it. hug iceland.
  • hungary: yes. she will love you forever. well maybe not but she will at least appreciate that you hugged her. hug hungary.
  • austria: he will be so terrified. he might even start screaming. if you have a camera or your phone it's well worth hugging him. but your ears will probably start bleeding from the high pitched screeching austria. if you're okay with that then sure. maybe hug austria.
  • latvia: tiny tiny precious cinnamon roll. hug latvia.
  • lithuania: he likes hugs, but don't hug him too tight or he may take it as a sign that you are trying to attack him and he will fight you and you will lose and it's a bad idea to do that. maybe hug lithuania.
  • estonia: uhh no there's a 99% chance he will kidnap you and start a tumblr about your reactions to questions and it'll be pretty popular but nobody will be able to tell that you've been kidnapped and you're not running the blog yourself and you'll spend the rest of your life in captivity unless latvia or lithuania find out which they most likely won't. it's not a smart idea. do not hug estonia.
  • poland: free nail painting with every hug. seriously he will do that. you will become one of his best friends. sunshine and rainbows. ponies. lots of ponies. hug poland.
  • greece: he likes cats. he'll probably like hugs too. he's precious and pure. pet greece's head. high five greece. hug greece.
  • turkey: yeah ok but if you hug him he'll assume you will never hug greece ever and of course you're gonna hug greece because he's very smol and fluffly and if he sees you hugging greece he will feel betrayed and stuff. do not hug turkey.
  • switzerland: he'll fight you. he really will. screw neutrality. he'll fight you. do not hug switzerland.
  • liechtenstein: of course????? she's like the cutest out of all the characters that are cinnamon rolls. and that includes latvia. hugs are very necessary. hug liechtenstein.
  • belarus: she will also fight you. but she'll probably take a selfie with you halfway through and send it to russia so you might be able to escape and live to tell the tale. maybe hug belarus.
  • ukraine: boob hugs, bruh. do it. hug ukraine.
  • monaco: sure!! she's fabulous and you might even get invited to her house which is pretty cool when france isn't around. hug monaco.
  • seychelles: ok she's not really used to hugs except from france which she tries to avoid. but if you aren't france then it should go well. hug seychelles.
  • luxembourg: sparkly cinnamon roll who loves hugs. what reason is there not to hug him. hug luxembourg.
  • czech republic: she's a literal ray of sunshine and happiness and hope. unless you hug her. hugs are not her thing. do not hug czech.
  • slovakia: ahh he'll be so awkward and cute and shy oh my god it should be a law to hug him all the time yes. hug slovakia.
  • bulgaria: have you seen his face. that cute, pokable, fluffly face. totally do it. hug bulgaria.
... in which Dan has a wet dream

It’s just after 7 by the time Dan gets home. He immediately goes to his room to change into comfier clothes. But as he walks towards it, he sees Phil, lying on his own room’s floor.

‘What are you doing?’ Dan asks, holding back a laughter.

'My back hurts and hard surfaces help.’

'Okay,’ Dan says. Over the past 5 years they learned not to question each other’s weirdnesses. 'Brought pizza, you want some?’

'Sure.’

'Let me get changed first.' 

Keep reading

Should You Heal Someone As Mercy?
  • Genji: You have a death wish? You think he's going to stick around when the enemy sees you? Fuck no, he's going run off, leaving you holding the bag and cursing.
  • Mcree: He's an old man who can't run very fast, and he's almost never too deep in enemy territory. Hop on down to help him and you'll be back in the skies before you know it.
  • Pharah: Bird wife is best wife, and anyway, as long as you two are in the sky, you'll be safe and away from the enemy. By the time she finishes saying "I need healing" you better be up there.
  • Reaper: Go kill someone to get your health back edgelord.
  • Soldier 76: By the time you get over there, he'll have popped his own healing ability, making you feel very silly. But he's usually away from the battle, so what the hell?
  • Sombra: I dunno, half the time she's super grateful, half the time she's already left by the time you get there, almost as if she's trolling yo-HEY!
  • Tracer: Between her speed and recall, she can either handle it herself or get back to you to get her healing, you ain't going to her.
  • Bastion: HAL-9000 here never moves, so you're gonna need to fix him. Unfortunately everyone is gunning for him, so you better have a way out.
  • Hanzo: That bow wielding jerk is usually dead before you get there, so you should generally not bother.
  • Junkrat: If he's someplace convenient, like hiding behind Reinhardt, sure. If not, it's usually not worth it.
  • Mei: Can't you just hide in your little ice bubble? What do you need me for?
  • Tobjorn: You need his turrets and his armor packs, so I guess it's polite to keep him alive. I don't have to like it though.
  • Widowmaker: If she's someplace you can easily get a Guardian Angel to, she's probably already dead.
  • D.Va: She goes through her health like she goes through Doritos, so you'd better. Don't expect gratitude though, and don't be surprised if 2 seconds after you brought her health back, she's already jetting off to lose it again.
  • Reinhardt: He's protecting you, help him out. At least until his shield breaks and he jets off, that's your cue to leave.
  • Roadhog: Very dangerous, and he's usually gonna heal himself before you get there. Plus that enemy Roadhog is always hooking your girlfriend, so he can go to hell.
  • Winston: If he wants to get healed, he can come back to you. I'm not following him into the thick of the enemy.
  • Zarya: She better shield you, but she's gonna die if you don't help her.
  • Ana: What's another healer doing on your team? Whatever, she's your stepmom and she can't heal herself so you should probably help her out.
  • Lucio: Still more healers? And can't he heal himself?
  • Symmetra: You want that teleporter don't you? Well you gotta earn it. Just don't expect me to follow you into the enemy.
  • Zenyatta: Healing him while he's got his harmony orb on you is impractical but hilarious.
  • jin: ok we're making a pizza today
  • rap mon: but we can just ord-
  • jin: right namjoon, ur role today is to read the cooking instructions out loud so ur mouth stays busy
  • jin: jungkook can u work on the pizza base
  • jungkook: of course
  • jimin: can I help him? I have strong arms
  • jk: NO
  • jin: yeah why not. yoongi -
  • suga: i'll lie down and wait for the food while silently judging u
  • jin: i doubt it's gonna be silent. hoseok u take care of the toppings bc u're the only one with clean hands
  • v: what about me
  • jin:
  • v: pls i wanna do something. i can help cut jhope's sausage
  • rm: i don't think he'd appreciate that
  • JH: u can stroke the dough instead
  • jin: stop w the dick jokes for god's sake, we're making food
  • v: i can spin the pizza in the air i saw it on tv
  • jin: just go buy some snacks for later, here's some money
  • s: snacks are all we're gonna have, I can smell your incoming failure from 20 mins away
  • jin: right. namjoon start reading
  • rm: spread the dough thin but not too thin. push it far and not too near. live like it's always ur last day, don't give in to the decay
  • JH: are u rapping right now
  • jin: JUST READ THE GODDAMN INSTRUCTIONS
  • jk: i got this dont worry JIMIN STOP HOLDING MY HAND IN THE DOUGH
  • jm: i'm helping u spread it thin, ur frail hands can't handle it. see, now this is cute. like dirty dancing
  • rm: keep going on until ur freedom becomes a certainty of the universe, transcending time and space and ur human condition-
  • jk: wtf are u even reading
  • rm: glad you asked! it's Immanuel Kant, I just got this in the post today, I'm so excited
  • jin: where's the cooking book???
  • rm: oh there's no actual cooking book in this house
  • jin:
  • jk: look we dont fking need that, I'm the golden maknae, I can make a goddamn pizza. it's ready to go in the ovenJIMIN STOP PRESSING UR ABS INTO MY BACK OR I'LL THROW U IN THE OVEN TOO
  • jm: that's not my abs
  • jin: I SAID STOP WITH THE DICK JOKES IN THE KITCHEN
  • v: hey I'm back, i found some snacks specially made for women and i got curious
  • jin: what do u mean snacks for wo -
  • jin:
  • JH: thats not food
  • v: but the packaging is so nice, what is it?
  • rm: when the uterus discharges of its lining, the remains of the potential fetus nest are absorbed by those things u just bought
  • v: is Uterus a foreign country?
  • rm: I wouldn't call it foreign, we've all been there
  • v: i'll just give them to my mom, it's her birthday soon
  • jin: someone take those away from him
  • jk: my perfect pizza is ready
  • s: it's actually impressive, u finished before the delivery guy got here
  • jin: why would u order pizza when we were making pizza???
  • s: I wouldn't trust u to make a sandwich
  • jin: anyway it looks awesome but
  • jk: what now
  • jin: wtf is that smell. what is that green stuff on it hoseok??????
  • JH: basil?
  • jin: IT'S NOT FUCKING BASIL
  • JH: oh shit you're right, my bad
  • jin:
  • jk:
  • jin: just throw everything away
  • jk: OH HELL NO I MADE IT THROUGH UR MOANING AND HAVING JIMIN ON MY ASS - LITERALLY - IM KEEPING THIS
  • JH: don't let kim taehyung eat that or we'll have to send him to the moon w his rabbit to shut up
  • v: but it's delicious
  • v: hey do u guys ever think we got it all wrong
  • v: like what if the world is just a ping pong ball no one picked up yet
  • v: and when giants will start playing w it we'll have to dance to places instead of walking to keep up the pace
  • rm: that's quite fascinating. u know kant believed we perceive the world through a conceptual scheme, do u want to read this together?
  • v: i have no idea what u just said but yes
  • s: well my pizza is here at least, enjoy ur tampon snacks and stoned philosophy talk
  • jin: i fucking hate all of u

Title: Let’s Be Alone Together
Characters: Alex Summers, my OC Camille Davidson
Word Count: 1089
Age Suggestion/Rating: T (just to be safe; include light make out)
Summary: based off the anons suggestion a Alex fic where he suggests that you be loners together but a lot more cute and fluffy than they probably wanted// based off and including the song “Alone Together” by Fall Out Boy, so I suggest you listen to it while reading.

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Psycho-Pass Official Profiling 2: Interviews

Here’s all the interviews from the Official Profiling 2 book. (Well, except for the ones with Ling Toshite Shigure, Chelly from EGOIST, and Yugo Kanno. Aka the ones in charge of the music. Sorry about that.) They include the following:

  • Staff – General Director – Motohiro Katsuyuki
  • Cast – Hanazawa Kana (Akane), Fujiwara Keiji (Tougane), Kimura Ryohei (Kamui)
  • Cast – Hanazawa Kana (Akane), Seki Tomokazu (Kougami)
  • Staff – original story concept & screenplay – Urobuchi Gen; 2nd season structure – Ubukata Tow
  • Staff – Director – Shiotani Naoyoshi

Under the cut are a lot of words (almost 13k), but here are the takeaways:

  • Like I theorized way back, Psycho-Pass is not a series with a fixed start-end plot, but a sandbox where only certain elements of the world and certain characters are set in stone. Thus new writers, etc can come in and play with the pieces every single time. Even the staff’s all “there are so many side stories and spinoffs that we’ll leave it up to you to figure out canon” from them.

  • The movie was thought up, planned, and put into production before they ever considered season two. I repeat, the movie was always the priority, and the gears started moving right when they finished s1.
  • Apocalypse Now was a huge inspiration for the movie.
  • Everyone (cast, staff) agrees that if a certain character had been there in s2, the case would have been wrapped up right away and there would have been no s2. (So unbelievably true, but grrrrrr)

  • Shimotsuki Mika is beloved by the staff for the exact same reason that fans dislike her (“she’s what Sibyl thinks a true Inspector is”).
  • Hinakawa was always made to be a foil to other characters (poor boy).

  • If you didn’t know, many of the important staff figures spent a lot of their careers on live action, crime series, etc, and really love Western scifi/crime/etc media, which is one of the reasons why PP feels so different from a typical anime you see nowadays.
  • The recording cast left an empty chair in the studio for you know who during s2, and HanaKana basically said at one point, “Please come back already!”
  • And if nothing else, read the two cast interviews!

Spoilers for s2 and the movie, obviously, under the cut.

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If Geillis and Dougal could text: 24/7 edition (You KNOW this is how it would go down)
  • Dougal: G?
  • Dougal: arya awake?
  • Dougal: oh god please be awake
  • Dougal: I've never needed ye this badly before
  • Dougal: wake up
  • Dougal: wake up
  • Dougal: wakkkee uppppp
  • Geillis: now then
  • Dougal: o thank god
  • Geillis: what could mighty Dougal Mackenzie need of the puir innocent Mistress Duncan
  • Geillis: at such an unsociable hour? 🤔
  • Dougal: come on now
  • Geillis: hmm?
  • Dougal: dinna make me beg
  • Geillis: I couldn't *imagine* what you're referring to
  • Geillis: you don't usually need herbs in the middle of the night
  • Geillis: and Arthur doesn't do transactions in the middle of the night
  • Dougal: Jesus you wretched tease, woman
  • Geillis: nope, I just can't fathom it.
  • Geillis: I shall go right back to sleep
  • Dougal: dinna pretend like ye don't need it too
  • Dougal: how much you want me to say those things to ye right this moment
  • Dougal: the things ye moan in my ear when I'm inside ye
  • Geillis: ...
  • Geillis: tell me
  • [two minutes pass]
  • Geillis: Jesus Dougal talk foul to me right this gd minute
  • Dougal: NOW who's the needy one
  • Geillis: I AM
  • Geillis: but not going to be so much longer because you're gonna give me what I want
  • Geillis: right NOW
  • Dougal: couldna possibly fathom your meaning
  • Geillis: *NOW* YOU FURRYFACE SHITE
  • Geillis: OR ILL BEWITCH YOUR PRIVATES TO SHRIVEL LIKE PRUNES
  • Geillis: YOU DONT KNOW THAT I CANT
  • Dougal: aye well
  • Dougal: as my terrifying sorceress commands
  • Geillis: Arthur's drugged as always
  • Geillis: I'm ready
  • [60 seconds]
  • Geillis: fck I'm so ready for you baby
  • Dougal: right, then
  • Geillis: say it
  • [two minutes]
  • Dougal: _B O N N I E_
  • Geillis: oh yes
  • Dougal: _ P R I N C E_
  • Dougal:
  • Geillis: oh god
  • Geillis: I wish you could've heard the sound that just came out of me
  • Dougal: Charles
  • Dougal: Edward
  • Dougal: Stuart
  • Geillis: oh GOD
  • Dougal: wrapped in the blue and white
  • Geillis: yesyes more babe
  • Dougal: me plowing you
  • Geillis: ...
  • Dougal: --with your back against the royal portrait
  • Geillis: OH GODso closebabymoeremoremore
  • Dougal: so you can feel him and me
  • Geillis: more
  • Dougal: at
  • Dougal: the
  • Geillis: yes
  • Dougal: same
  • Geillis: yes
  • Dougal: time
  • Geillis: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • [30 seconds]
  • Geillis: Jesus
  • Geillis: that finished me
  • Dougal: 💪
  • Geillis: can'tcatch mybreath
  • Dougal: Macwarchief94 knows what his lady likes
  • Dougal: right from that first dm aye?
  • Geillis: well given that his lady was AlbaMyLovin69 it wasn't too much of a mystery
  • Geillis: but DAMN you do it so good babe
  • Dougal: 😎
  • Geillis: now it's your turn
  • Geillis: are you ready?
  • Dougal: GODYES
  • Dougal: give me the good stuff witch woman
  • Dougal: but start slow
  • Dougal: I want this to last
  • Geillis: very well then 😏
  • Geillis: imagine
  • Geillis: me
  • Geillis: completely naked
  • Geillis: WHITE COCKADES over my
  • Dougal: oh bloody GOD DAMN bleeding swiving hell
  • Geillis: ...already?
  • Dougal: no not that
  • Dougal: the feckin sassenach is trying to escape again
  • Geillis: ohhhh I would be so very down to bring her into this scenario
  • Dougal: DO NOT lose that thought

Chad Michael Murray was actually the worst friend a person could have.

It all started on what began as a normal Friday. Jared woke up, knocked loudly on Chad’s door, took Harley and Sadie for a run, came back to shower, knocked loudly on Chad’s door again, and started breakfast. He hummed a happy tune quietly with a smile in place as he grabbed food from the refrigerator and cabinets.  Eventually Chad stumbled in, more squinty-eyed than usual, and running his hands through his spiky-blond, unruly bed hair.

“Morning, Sunshine,” Jared grinned, breaking the eggs into the sizzling pan.

“Fuck you, asswipe,” Chad spat.  Pulling on a chair at the breakfast bar so rough it screeched across the linoleum floor, he hauled himself up in it and glared at the back of Jared’s cheery head.

“You’re in a worse mood than usual,” Jared snorted, knowing that no matter how bad of a mood Chad was in, it was just an inherent part of his personality - nothing personal.

“Yeah, I am,” Chad groaned, nearly slamming his forehead into the counter top as he let it plop down.  “I was having a great night – made out with Sophia for, like, three hours straight, ate pizza, jacked off –“

“Really, dude?” Jared interrupted.

“– listened to some music, and then fell asleep, but not before fucking remembering that your gay boyfriend was coming over today,” he finished as though Jared never spoke.  

“Did you just call my boyfriend gay?” Jared asked incredulously.

“Uh, yeah.  Because he is.”  There was a pause.  

“Yep, that is true,” came with the shake of a head.  “But what’s the big deal?  Jensen comes over almost every weekend.”

“I know, but, like,” Chad groaned and slammed his head back against the counter top, “when he’s over you’re all mushy and gross and I can only handle so much gay in my life, okay?  And when he’s here, it’s double the gay.  It’s gay multiplied.  Gay squared.  That’s too much gay.”  Jared rolled his eyes and tossed the English muffins in the toaster.  

“Why don’t you go stay with Sophia or one of your other friends?” Jared suggested.

“Sophia is having a girl’s night or something tonight, I don’t really know.  She said, ‘Me and the girls want a wine and pedicure night,’ and I was like, ‘Fine, I’m gonna have a beer and video game night’ – which isn’t different than every other night, but, y’know.  And I have no other friends, Jared, why else do you think I’m living with your gay ass? That and you have the best gaming system so it was kind of a no-brainer.”

“Feelin’ the love, Chad.”

“Don’t feel the love from me, your boyfriend’ll be here in a few hours.”  

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anonymous asked:

Sabriel Prompt: HS AU first date? I'm cringing, srry, I don't wanna bother you

nooo don’t worry about bothering me babe!! it’s a lovely prompt and i’d be happy to write it for you <3

(also let’s say gabe—and dean—are seniors while both sam and cas are juniors)

By the time Gabriel arrives at the library, he’s in a horrendously bad mood because despite how many times he’d told Cas, Cas, there are literally a thousand things I’d rather do instead of going on a date with your boyfriend’s little brother, Cas had been relentless, and when he’d turned those big blue eyes on Gabriel with that utterly pathetic pleading look on his face, Gabriel had had to give in because denying Cas something that obviously this much to him would probably earn Gabriel a one-way ticket to hell.

So now he’s sitting in some painfully quiet little library café—what the hell kinda guy chooses a library as a venue for a first date? Couldn’t the kid just ask to meet up at the movies like a normal person?—as he waits for this mysterious Sam to show up, and he feels like a major ass because is his love live really so pathetic that his nerdy little brother feels the need to set him up, and, great, some freaky tall but also helluva hot guy has just walked in, and it’s just Gabriel’s luck that he can’t go near him because he’s supposed to be on a date with—

“Hi,” the hot guy says sheepishly, and, holy shit, he’s talking to Gabriel. “Are you, uh, Gabriel, by any chance?”

Oh. 

Oh

Well, thank you, Castiel!

“I can be whoever you want me to be, hot stuff,” Gabriel purrs, then immediately wants to smack himself in his face with something large and preferably spiky because that sounded even worse than it did in his head. 

But, as if whatever god’s up there has decided to smile down upon Gabriel and his ridiculous flirting skills, Gabriel catches sight of a blush reddening the tips of the guy’s ears and creeping across his high cheekbones. 

“What I meant is—yup, that’s me,” Gabriel adds when he remembers that he should probably reply. “And I’m guessing you’re Sam?" 

"Yeah, um. Yeah, I’m Sam,” says apparently-Sam, rubbing the back of his neck and flicking his gaze between his feet and Gabriel’s face. 

Gabriel offers Sam a reassuring grin, picking up on his nervousness. “In that case, kiddo, take a seat.” 

As Sam nods like sitting hadn’t occurred to him until Gabriel suggested it, Gabriel takes the opportunity to give the kid a onceover. His observation from earlier turns out to be an understatement—Sam’s not just tall, he’s massive, all long limbs and broad shoulders. 

And if that’s not enough, he’s even better looking up close, sporting a shaggy mop of chocolate-coloured hair that flops in his hazelly blue eyes. But he’s pale, hands fiddling anxiously with his flannel shirt as he fidgets in his seat.

Gabriel studies Sam a moment longer, then leans forward in his seat. “Look, no offense, kid, but you kinda look like you’re gonna barf, so uh—you think you can keep it down or should I go get you a bucket?” 

The dry joke thankfully seems to have the desired effect. Sam looks Gabriel in the eye for the first time today, a surprised laugh escaping him and—Jesus Christ on a cracker, he’s got dimples

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What's wrong with you? Pt2 (Luke Hemmings Imagine)

Hey unicorns! Part 1

The next week Luke was a little bit more calm but he still wasn’t the same old Luke. He still was not talking much, he still wasn’t eating good enough and he still was spending all his free time laying on his bunk.

One day the boys would play on Toronto so it was a busy day. At the morning they went to a interview and after the lunch they had a mini free time before soundchek.

In the free time after lunch the boys and you were all together just running around and making jokes, well Luke was just laying on his chair watching to the others having fun.

‘So Y/N how was your first kiss?’ Calum asked and raised an eyebrow while a evil smirk was appearing on his face. 'Excuse Me?’ you put an unbelievable expression. 'Oh c'mon we all want to know!! We have been best friends since elementary school and we don’t know how was your first kiss!’ Ashton said smiling and you sighed. 'I’m not going to tell you assholes. You’re such a curious old lady’ you spoke and rolled your eyes.

There was no way you would tell them how you kissed for first time to your best friend, which was Luke. Both Luke and you agree to never tell anybody how and with who had been their own first kiss.
'Whatever you say, coward’ you heard Michael and looked at his smile.

'Let’s better talk of Luke’s first kiss then…’ You spoke as you watched him get a little nervous. 'That’s not gonna happen’ Luke immediately changed his humor and his face turned in a don’t-even-look-at-me one. 'Hey now you mention it, I don’t remember Luke telling me how was his first kiss…’ Ashton said. 'Because I never told you. And I never will.’ Luke spoke dryly 'Actually I never told anybody’. Boys began to tease on Luke and you knew nothing good would get out of that. But when you were going to interpose it was too late and the boys were all arguing.

'Ok ok it’s enough! We can talk of something else. We don’t have to fight’ you tried to light up the situation but then all got worse. 'Shut the fuck up. This is all your fault. You started this stupid conversation!’ Luke shouted you and Michael said something but you were too angry to pay attention. 'No it’s not! I didn’t start the subject, idiot’ you answered and he walked towards you as Michael repeated something again but Luke spoke over him 'Yes you did! You always ruin everything. You’re always in the way. I don’t even know why the hell are you in OUR tour! You’re not in the band and you don’t work in the team neither! You’re just a obstacle m-’ 'I SAID ENOUGH! Go away and watch your lenguage idiot! Nothing it’s her fault. Stop talking bullshit asshole! Go get yourself back together Luke!’ Michael shouted angrily with his face red.

Luke looked at you and turned around walking to the bus as he was swearing in low voice. You and the boys continued talking calmly but soon after that you went to the bus because you wanted to talk with Luke.

You went inside of the bus and you found Luke on the kitchen resting against the counter with his arms crossed and a thoughtful expression on his face. When he saw you he let out a sigh ‘What do you want? You can’t stop bothering me?’ his voice was deep and rough ‘I came to talk ok?’ ‘No, it’s not ok. I don’t wan to talk to you. Leave me alone! Go back home and stop being so annoying, God!’ he cried hysterically. ‘What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? You changed, you’re not the same, what happened? Let me h-’ ‘I don’t want your fucking help, ok? I don’t want anyones help. Can everybody stop being such a overprotective bitches? It bothers, really’ you ignored what he said and just tried again ‘Luke I’m asking again, what’s wrong? What’s happenning? Why are you treating so bad to everyones? We didn’t do anything to you’ he sighed, he was frustrated now ‘Why this why that, God! SHUT UP! STOP! Go away! We don’t want you here, why don’t you get it? Go home! I’m tired of pretending I like you’ that hurts, it really really hurts… ‘Fine, sorry, ok? I didn’t know I was so awful.’ You went to lock yourself on the bathroom and tried to calm yourself down, because your breaths were heavy and your chest was in pain, as you heard more voices on the bus.

When you went out of the toilet a minutes later the boys had gone to the stage, so you took your chance and your suitcase and began to take your clothes to put them on the suitcase. You couldn’t take it anymore and tears began to roll down your cheeks. You took your phone and texted to a friend you had there on Canada.

[From: Me To: Canadian boy] Hey boy! I know it’s been a while since we talked but I’m in Canada and I was wondering if I could spend some days in your house?

When you finished packing you received an answer from your friend.

[From: Canadian boy To: Me] Hey girl! You had forgotten me! And it would be a pleasure having you here lady. Where are you? Do you want me picking you up?

[From: Me To: Candian boy] I’m in the Rogers Centre and yes please =/

Afro Samurai Inspired RP Starters
  • <p> <b><b></b> </b> "Challenge me, when you're ready to duel a god."<p/><b></b> "I've waited a long time for this."<p/><b></b> "That a motherfuckin' RPG?"<p/><b></b> "When you fight to kill, finish the job."<p/><b></b> "I see you wear one of the headbands of legend that leads to godhood."<p/><b></b> "Don't fight this fucker! He got arrows and grenades and shit. You ain't got no chance dude!"<p/><b></b> "You want another one? On his tab?"<p/><b></b> "My aim is only to move forward."<p/><b></b> "There's something strange still out there."<p/><b></b> "If it's not too much trouble, will you stay and watch the fireworks with me?"<p/><b></b> "You must break the chain. Only then will we stay free of this horrible cycle."<p/><b></b> "Ew! Taste like crack!"<p/><b></b> "If Heaven could be bottled up, it just might taste like my lemonade."<p/><b></b> "C'mon now confess. You wanna hit that booty!"<p/><b></b> "You fucking whore! This is the price you pay for your betrayal."<p/><b></b> "Damn shame ain't it? Just when you start gettin' your groove on, shit always gotta get killed, burned down, whatever."<p/><b></b> "Man, you really are a cold blooded motherfucker."<p/><b></b> "He's a demon machine with special surprise on the inside."<p/><b></b> "Does one question faith?"<p/><b></b> "Observe and I will make you a believer."<p/><b></b> "Hey, he tryna copy you...wait, he is you!"<p/><b></b> "What happens when your reflection moves faster than you?"<p/><b></b> "It's like me watching Afro watchin' Afro fightin' Afro or something!"<p/><b></b> "We shall finally see the wrath of hell's fire turn up on itself."<p/><b></b> "Dammit Brother! This the kind of shit I will not tolerate!"<p/><b></b> "I think he blew his load."<p/><b></b> "Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder."<p/><b></b> "Come to think of it, I can't take a warrior with such stupid hair seriously."<p/><b></b> "Okay, you and I are gonna talk about this later, but first I gotta save your dumb ass."<p/><b></b> "Dang, why you gotta be so morbid?"<p/><b></b> "You chose revenge over our Master! Over us! We're your family!"<p/><b></b> "Damn. There goes the neighborhood."<p/><b></b> "Bleed! Suffer as I have!"<p/><b></b> "I want him hurt! I want him crippled! He'll bleed for all the pain he's caused!"<p/><b></b> "My tears have never stopped falling since that day."<p/><b></b> "Come on man, get that damn look off your face."<p/><b></b> "You became what you are because you stuck to your damn convictions, dawg."<p/><b></b> "Wipe that motherfucker. Even if he is your old pal."<p/><b></b> "You just don't listen to people, do you?"<p/><b></b> "Aw man, it was the bomb hanging out with you."<p/><b></b> "I sweat with anticipation for your kill. Can you smell me?"<p/><b></b> "You've grown into a fine killer, but you're still vulnerable."<p/><b></b> "I saw you kill your childhood sword buddy."<p/><b></b> "Don't you know that absolute power leads to ultimate peace?"<p/><b></b> "It is time for Man to become God where God has failed."<p/><b></b> "I'm finally becoming God."<p/><b></b> "Only you and I can stomach this truth."<p/><b></b> "You will only die again, my friend."<p/><p/></p>

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your writing style! I found your blog and read all of them last night! I really love jealous Ali! Haha! I don't know why though! Usually she's jealous over Hannily which is super cute! But maybe if she's jealous over Spemily will be interesting! Since Spencer is always overprotective of Emily on the show! I'm not good at English so I'm sorry if this bothered you! Have a nice day! :) (it's okay if you don't count this as a prompt)

Okay, I want to start by saying you’re so sweet anon! Nothing from anons ever bothers me. :) Let’s mix things up, shall we? ;)

—-

The group dynamic had clearly shifted in the time she’d been away; that much was clear. Aria and Hanna were heavily involved in their boyfriends now when before they had been all about the group. The most evident shift though was between Spencer and Emily she decided after re-discovering the girls. While the two girls were always extremely close prior to her disappearance it was obvious that they’d gotten much closer in her absence. 

It probably wasn’t even noticeable to any passive observer, but Alison wasn’t just any passive observer. She noticed things, especially when it came to Emily Fields, that people tended to merely dismiss. Which is why she noticed the sudden fondness in the way Emily regarded Spencer, how she was constantly touching her, and if she wasn’t touching her she was smiling at her, much to Alison’s annoyance (Emily should have been smiling at her). It probably wouldn’t have even bothered Alison that much… if it was one sided.

No, it definitely wasn’t one-sided. If Emily wasn’t touching Spencer, Spencer was touching Emily. It was a well known fact that Spencer Hastings’ admiration was a hard thing to come by, and from what she could tell, there was no one Spencer admired more than Emily Fields (which again, wasn’t a one-sided thing). The two girls were constantly wandering off together leaving Alison alone with the two love sick puppies who she was beginning to believe were incapable of talking about anything other than their boyfriends which usually ended with her wanting to slam her head on the table. If she was left with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb one more time she was sure she would completely lose her mind.

Maybe if she found Spencer a new boyfriend she could have Emily all to herself… Almost as soon as the plan began to form in her mind she quickly dismissed it because she knew Spencer would never go for someone she set her up with. All she knew was that she needed to get Spencer away from Emily, and fast because she worried about what those two could flourish into if she didn’t step in.

Due to the fact that her annoyance level was at an all time high she was quickly slipping back into her snarky ways, and she knew that if she didn’t get a hold on it soon she’d snap at Emily. She’d already snapped at Spencer (She can’t recall exactly what she said, but it was something along the lines of her being a Hogwart’s reject), and Hanna and Aria (who she’s repeatedly called Dumb and Dumber). Nothing snarky or cruel had been said to Emily though, and she planned to keep it that way. At least she hoped she would keep it that way.

Her resolve was quickly slipping though as she watched Emily look at Spencer from under her lashes with a shy smile on her face when Spencer whispered something in ear. That was her smile… Emily used to only smile like that at her. In her lap, her hands were clenched so tightly that her nails left crescent marks in her palms. Luckily for everyone at the Hanna decided to speak in that moment. “Hey, Em,” she began, “When’s your next swim meet?” 

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Baking Powder

When Steve was done with destroying three punching bags, remembering that Tony made him an inforced one and proceeding doing his best to destroy it as well (it held, he had to admit, he was impressed), he finally felt that he could sleep. But as he made his way up, he decided to get a bottle of water out of the kitchen first. What welcomed him was the loud and obnoxious (though somewhat addictive) sound of ACDC blasting through the room.

It was 3:37 in the morning. What was going on?

Next, the smell of something mouthwatering assaulted his nose and he was even more confused. Because ACDC at 3am? Tony. The smell of freshly baked nougat scones? Not so much.

But apparently just that, because there was indeed one Tony Stark, dressed in a ridiculous ‘Kiss the Superhero’ apron by the stove. 'Tony?’

'Fucking hell!’ The flail was hilariously elegant. The middle finger less so. 'Jesus, Cap, warn a mortal.’ He snapped, with no real heat behind the words. Steve swore he even saw a blush on the back of his neck.

'Sorry.’ And he was, he hadn’t actually planned to scare the man. 'What are you doing?’ He then asked cautiously, because… no, he still wasn’t buying it that Tony Stark was baking in an apron at 3am on a Friday night.

Tony just gave him a look and reached behind him for something to present it to Steve. 'Cranberry Muffin?’ Blinking, Steve took the offered cake but left it in his hand to examin. 'Its a Cranberry Muffin, Steve, not a time bomb.’

'I wouldn’t know with you.’ His answer was dry and he would’ve felt guilty for the wince he earned but the grin showed him that Tony wasn’t really insulted.

'Yeah, I guess not.’ He sighed - and okay, maybe Steve was wrong and he should apologize. 'To answer your question; I’m stress baking.’

'You’re wha…’ He started to ask, but a ring - was that seriously an egg timer?! - interrupted him.

'Hold on a second, my scones are ready.’ The engineer quickly, turned around, fumbling a little while looking for his mittens, to take out the tray. An almost orgasmic smell filled the room and Steve was pretty sure his heart melted a little when he saw the small, proud smile on Tony’s face.

'You’re stress baking.’ He stated, just to be completely sure. This was bizarre.

'Yes, I tend to do that. A lot.’ The engineer turned back to him with narrowed eyes. 'Did you never notice the gigantic basket of bakery stuff on the counter, they are there about thrice a week.’

Steve laughed. 'Oh I did, to be honest I just never connected them to you of all people.’ He didn’t mean it as an insult. He didn’t, but it was Tony Stark, engineer, playboy, sometimes basket case. Who could blame him?

'No, no I get it. I always get that look, don’t worry.’ Tony took out a spatula and placed the scones on a cooling tray. He then pulled out another bowl and seemed to start anew.

Curious, Steve sat down at the counter to watch him work. 'What are you doing next?’

'Cinnamon rolls.’ He smiled when he looked up and then barked out a laugh when he saw the Captain’s beaming face.

'They are my favourite!’ He cheered excitedly, successfully turning himself into an 8 year old.

Tony chuckled. 'I know they are, Cap.’ He admitted softly.

A confused but warm smile spread over Steve’s face. 'Thank you.’

'Don’t thank me yet, I could still be lying and feeding you crap.’ An evil glint in his eyes, Tony finished the batter in record time.

Steve hummed. 'You could, but I just ate that Cranberry Muffin and beg to differ.’

'Good, huh?’ That little proud smile was back. 'Its the first time I made them actually, good to know they taste well.’

'I’m gladly volunteering as your taster, Shellhead.’

Tony laughed. 'Why thank you, Spangled. You’re gonna have to stand in line with Clint, though.’

'He knows?’ Steve felt oddly… jealous that he wasn’t the first one to know.

The engineer didn’t seem to notice, thank god and only nodded his head distractedly. He was currently forming the rolls with a sure hand, clearly not for the first time. 'Yeah, he sneaked up on me one night, demanding chocolate chip cookies.’

The Captain felt his mouth watering. 'Darn, I remember those.’ They stayed silent for a second until Steve couldn’t hold it in any longer. 'Alright, I have to ask. How come Tony Stark knows how to bake? Didn’t you have like… a personal chef or something?’

'Oh, we did. It’s Jarvis’ fault.’ When Steve only frowned in confusion, he smiled. 'When my parents forgot their only child again and again, Jarvis used to watch me and when I was my hyperactive, annoying self he had to 'unbore’-’ He actually used air quotations. ’-me somehow. When he got fed up, he dragged me either into the kitchen or into the garden.’

'Jarvis?’ Steve concealed the wince he felt when Howard was mentioned but something else confused him. 'Your… A.I. Jarvis?’

'What? No, of course not.’ Now Tony looked perplexed but then his eyes windened. 'Oh right, you don’t know. Jarvis used to be our butler. He was like a… Grandfather I guess? He died a few years ago, amazing man, only old age could ever get to him.’ He smiled softly and a little sadly. 'It was only natural for me to name my A.I. after him.’

'I… I didn’t know that.’ The former soldier felt somewhat speechless. It was the first time Tony was so… forward and honest with him. 'I’m sorry.’

Tony waved him off. 'Oh don’t be. It was… Peaceful. He told me not to worry about him. That he had had a good life and that he was glad to have been part of our family. He told me he was proud of me.’

Hesitating only for a second, Steve reached forward and took the engineer’s hand, squeezing it a little. 'So, gardening, huh?’ He smiled and if Tony jumped a bit at the contact, he didn’t mention it.

'Right.’ He squeezed back hesitatingly and slowly let go. 'Yeah, we used to have this gigantic, pretentious garden and he would drag me out when it was sunny outside - believe me, I take the drag part literally, the first time I was kicking and screaming, demanding him to let me get back to my workshop.’ He chuckled. Steve could see that, really. 'It never really was my thing, to be honest. But the baking? Yeah, that’s pretty cool.’

Steve smiled slowly. This was nice. Talking to Tony like this. Really nice. 'So… Cinnamon Rolls, huh?’

'What? Yeah, they should be ready in a bit, what of it?’

The Captain’s grin turned smug. 'I get here and you make my favourite sweets? Knowingly? You want to tell me something?’

On the one hand, he loved the blush on Tony’s face. On the other, he cursed himself for saying anything because he saw the sudden tenseness in his shoulders. 'I… I was just trying to be nice.’ He said between gritted teeth, his hands fumbling as he started to clean everything up.

'Hey…’ Steve stood up and circled the kitchen island to stand beside him. 'Let me try something?’ He asked, determination his his eyes. Tony looked up at him, suddenly feeling way too small. He nodded nevertheless, but flinched a little when big hands framed his face.

Before he could even comprehend what was happening, could even tell himself that it was not what he was hoping for, Steve was kissing him. And man, was that what he had hoped for.

The kiss was slow, sweet and tasted of sugar and cranberries. It should be hilarious, really, just completely rom com. But it was awesome.

When Steve leaned back, Tony could only stare at him. 'What… what was that?’ He asked, almost in a daze.

The Captain chuckled. 'You can take it as a thank you for the rolls…’ He hesitated but smiled when he saw the displeased frown on the engineer’s face. 'Or I could help you with clean up, prepare the usual basket and take you to bed. With me.’ Before Tony could answer anything - lewd probably - he framed his face again. 'To sleep, Shellhead. To sleep. And tomorrow, you will go out with me. Deal?’

Tony grumbled, but leaned into the touch nevertheless. 'Not fair. But deal.’

  • HEY I WROTE THIS REALLY LONG DRABBLE BASED ON A HEADCANON FROM http: //untildawnff.tumblr.com/ AND I WAS GIVEN PERMISSION TO POST IT BUT CREDIT TO THEM FOR THE IDEA OKAY THANK YOU.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • Sam
  • "So how are you and your boyfriend, Sam?" my mom asked on the other line of the phone. I rolled my eyes and inter ally sighed. I didn't actually have a boyfriend. But my, god was my mother getting annoying asking me when I'd get a boyfriend and bring him over. So I lied and said I did have one. Didn't even give her a name or anything. And somehow, she, and everyone else believed me. And it's been going for about two and a half weeks now.
  • "We're fine, mom." I sighed into the phone. My mom clicked.
  • "You don't sound fine." She inferred. Act in love, Sam.
  • "We are, don't worry, I'm just really tired." I reassured. She stayed silent for a moment.
  • "Okay... How about you two come over for dinner on Friday?" She asked. That caught me off guard. I moved out of my parents house a few months ago, since I was 18 and had enough money saved up. So I lived in an apartment building across town.
  • "Uhhh..." I pulled my phone away from my face to check what day it was. Wednesday. I haven't seen my parents or my brother and sister in almost a month. I couldn't say no.
  • "... sure..." I replied dully. She giggled.
  • "Great! I can't wait to meet this guy. I'm sure you got your paws on one handsome devil! Come around six?" She finished. My mouth ran dry. What the fuck was I gonna do? I couldn't come up with a clever break-up story in three days. Maybe I should tell them he died in some ridiculous way. That'd be kind of funny. But not believable. I guess I just had to go with it. I sighed.
  • "Yeah, I guess." I huffed. My mom giggled.
  • "Yay! Okay, I love you, baby! I'll see you then." She concluded before hanging up. I ended the call and threw my phone on the couch. Fuuuuuuck.
  • I thought for a long while and what the hell I was gonna tell my parents. I did NOT wanna tell them the truth and have them nag, nag, nag me about it. But what could I do? I thought for a while more before it came to me. I could have someone pretend to be my boyfriend for the night. I thought about my options. Right away, Mike and Matt were off the table. They were in the middle of some ridiculous love triangle with Emily. Chris wasn't exactly an option either. He and Ashley had something. I don't know what it is, but it's something. And the way Chris takes things, he'd get the wrong idea. So that only left one other person.. Josh. It's not that I didn't like Josh, because I did, I was closer to him then anyone else. But the thought of asking him to pretend to be my boyfriend for a night was a little weird. But what else could I do. I sighed and pulled out my phone and texted Josh.
  • 'I'm coming over.' I texted.
  • 'Ummm?? Ok but no ones here'
  • 'That's fine. Hahahaha I need a favor.'
  • 'Oh god. Should I be scared?'
  • 'Uh, maybe?'
  • ' jesus Sam'
  • 'Be there in like ten minutes.'
  • 'You suck'
  • I laughed and closed my phone, not responding. I gathered my stuff and headed to Josh's house. This was gonna be an interesting conversation.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • I approached Josh's house and groaned. I was already regretting it. But it was too late now. This was a better idea then any of the others I came up with. I walked up to the door and knocked.
  • "Helloooo? Josh?" I yelled. Nothing. I turned the handle of the door out of curiosity and sure enough, it was open. I walked in slowly, closing the door behind me.
  • "Josh?" I called again. Still nothing. I walked into the living room and sat my bag down. I've done this before and usually Josh is just in the bathroom or getting out of the shower or something. I stood and waited. For a lot longer then I wanted to. I pulled out my phone text him. Suddenly, a pair of hands jabbed my sides and a yelled in my ear. I knew damn well who it was but I still screamed and dropped my phone. I whirled around and go figure, there was Josh, giggling like an idiot. I flushed. I didn't like when people grabbed my sides.
  • "Josh!" I growled, slapping his arm as he laughed at my minor shame.
  • "Hey, lame-o, what's up?" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes, remembering this awkward talk I was about to have. I sighed.
  • "Hey, is everything okay?" He asked, his smile slowly dying away.
  • "Uhhh, okay. So remember my parents?" I asked. He nodded.
  • "Remember that thing I told them? That was actually true a few weeks ago?" I continued. He raised an eyebrow.
  • "Yeeaaaahhh..? The one where you told them you have a boyfriend when you very well do not?" He said, a ghost of a smile on his face. I nodded.
  • "Yeah, well, they wanna meet said boyfriend on Friday at their house for dinner, and I can't get out of it." I went on. Josh simply blinked.
  • "And... I need someone to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night." I finished, smiling a little too innocently. Josh was unresponsive for a moment before he ultimately burst into laughter. I stared at him as he laughed.
  • "Okay, okay, lemme get that straight. You want me to be your boyfriend for the night?" He repeated. I looked at the floor. Hearing it out of someone else, it sounded ridiculous.
  • "Yeeees..." I groaned. I didn't look at him.
  • "Okay." He said casually. I snapped my head up.
  • "What?" I asked, kind of skeptical that he agreed to this. Let alone as casually as he did.
  • "I said okay. I'll pretend to be your boyfriend so you don't have to deal with the wrath of your parents." He said clearly. Thank. God. I huffed.
  • "Thank you!" I groaned.
  • "No problem, babe." Josh said, winking at me. I blushed.
  • "No! Don't call me that." I stammered. He noticed my demeanor and snickered.
  • "Sorry, dear." He smirked.
  • "Stoooop! I'm going home, Josh." I growled.
  • "Whatever you say, baby." He continued. It was really weird coming from him.
  • "Goodbye! Josh!" I screeched, walking out the door.
  • "I LOVE YOU, BABYYYY!" He yelled after me.
  • "Baaaaaaaaaah!" I yelled back as I walked out of his yard.
  • "I will see you Friday at 5!" I yelled as I walked away. This was gonna be a looooong Friday.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()()()
  • Friday came a lot faster then I wanted it to and I dreaded it a lot. This was gonna be super weird. I mean, even if I was bringing my family an ACTUAL boyfriend, it would be weird. But it was going to be even weirder because I wasn't bringing them a boyfriend. I was bringing them a Josh. Good thing Josh has never met my parents before. A beep outside distracted me from my dreading. It was Josh. I took a deep breath and made my way out into the Fall outdoors. There was Josh outside my Apartment building in his stupid little car with a stupid little smile on his stupid little face. I wordlessly got into the passenger seat.
  • "Hey, you look nice." He complimented. I snorted. I really didn't. I'd usually dress a little better to go see my parents. But I didn't totally bum it. I could tell Josh had literally JUST got out of the shower because his hair was still a little wet and his entire car smelled like Axe.
  • "Are you seriously okay? I can pretend to be sick and you can tell your mom I have malaria." He suggested. I laughed, remembering that I actually considered telling my parents my boyfriend died.
  • "It's okay. I'm okay." I assured, nodding my head.
  • "Promise?" He asked, offering his pinky. I wrapped my pinky around his and squeezed.
  • "Promise." I repeated. He smiled.
  • "Okay." He said quietly before starting his car and setting off to my parents house.
  • "So, how should I act? What should I do?" He asked, sounding almost nervous. I raised an eyebrow. What did he have to be nervous about?
  • "Uhhh.. Just be you. We're gonna have to hold hands and whatnot but just be yourself." I shrugged. He nodded.
  • He opened his mouth to say something but closed it.
  • "What?" I asked. His face slowly got red and he shook his head.
  • "Nothing." He mumbled. I tilted my head. I've never see Josh like this. Josh was almost always goofy. Kind of cocky. Never did I ever see him nervous, this was kind of unlike him.
  • "What are you all nervous about?" I asked out of curiosity. He shook his head.
  • "I don't know...." he said, giving me a weird look. I dropped the subject as we pulled up in front of my parents house. I exhaled deeply.
  • Josh parked and looked at me.
  • "You ready?" He asked, his face suddenly eager. I rolled my eyes. Not really. But there was no turning back. I sighed and nodded my head.
  • "Yeah, let's go." I mumbled, getting out of the car. My stomach was in knots. I didn't really care if they didn't like him or not... Okay, I did, but that wasn't my main concern. My main concern was that now my parents will now forever think of Josh Washington as my boyfriend. And that was really weird to me. Josh waited for me and once I caught up to him he gave me one last look as to say "are you sure you're sure?" I nodded my head and walked up to the door, knocking gracefully.
  • "Don't be nervous." He whispered quickly, just before the door opened and my smiling mother appeared.
  • "Sammy-bear!" She squeaked before hugging me tightly.
  • "Hi, mom." I giggled. I was happy to see her after almost a month. I needed this. She eyed Josh for a moment.
  • "Is the boyfriend I've heard next to nothing about?" My mom asked. I was kind of flustered.
  • "Uh, yes! Mom, this is my b-boyfriend, Josh." I said with an awkward smile. It felt so weird to say. I looked at Josh and he seemed almost confused and a bit lost. I grabbed his hand and gave him a look. He looked surprised for a moment, before snapping back into it.
  • "Uh-um, yeah, hi, I'm Josh Washington. Nice to finally meet you." He greeted politely. I was surprised he was capable.
  • "Hello, Josh, nice to finally meet you, too." My mom said. This might not be too bad.
  • "Well, come on in!" My mom cheered, scurrying into two house. I looked at Josh. He looked back at me.
  • "You okay?" He asked. I nodded. He squeezed my hand a little tighter. I involuntarily smiled. What the hell is happening to me? I brushed it off and yanked Josh in the house. I followed my mom into the dining room.
  • "Hey, Sam's here with her boyfriend!" My mom announced to my father, brother, and sister at the table.
  • "How much did you pay him to show?" My brother asked, causing Josh to chuckle. I, took my hand from his and elbowed him in the ribs.
  • "Shut up, Evan." I growled.
  • "Relax," Josh whispered in my ear. I let out a breath and calmed down. It was awkward for a moment, Josh and I being the only ones standing.
  • "Well, don't to strangers, sit down, you two!" My dad said. I did as my dad said and dragged Josh to a chair next to me and we both sat down.
  • "Uh, Josh, this is my dad. My brother, Evan, and my sister, Brooke." I introduced.
  • "Hi." He said awkwardly. Everyone else kind of mumbled "hellos."
  • "Well, dinners almost done, so for now, we can just talk." My mom shrugged.
  • "Josh." My dad said. Josh tensed up next to me.
  • "Yes?"
  • "Do you wanna come and help me get drinks for everyone?" My dad asked. I instantly got nervous. He was about to have a talk with Josh. And with Josh's attitude it might not be too pleasant. And Josh knew it because his foot started tapping on the floor like crazy. I put my hand on his.
  • "U-um, yeah!" He stammered. My dad nodded and got up up, then walking into the kitchen. Josh got up and walked with him, but not before giving me a peck on my head, which made me blush hard. My mother grinned as he walked away, noticing my almost surprised expression.
  • "How long have you two been dating?" My sister asked. I blinked slowly.
  • "A little more then a month." I said, kind of out of it.
  • "He really likes you, huh? He does! I can tell by the ways he acts!" My sister inquired. That caught me a little off guard and I had to think. I wasn't too sure if Josh was a good actor or not, but tonight it seemed like it. But then again, he was so nervous before we got here... And he was obviously trying to make some sort of good impression on my mom and who knows what's he saying to my dad.
  • "Right?" My sister asked. I thought a little but slowly nodded.
  • "Yeah.. I guess he does." I mumbled. As if on cue, my dad and Josh came out of the kitchen. I was almost surprised when thy came out laughing and talking. Josh slid in the chair next to me and my dad sat down as well.
  • "Some drinks..." Evan muttered. My dad's expression turned a bit sour upon realizing he didn't even get drinks.
  • "Damn. I'll get 'em." He said plainly, going back into the kitchen. I leaned close to Josh.
  • "What'd you say to him?" I whispered for only him to hear, kind of puzzled by how my dad was totally and absolutely cool with it. Josh smiled.
  • "The truth." He whispered confidently. My eyes went wide.
  • "About the you and I situation?" I replied. He shook his head.
  • "Not exactly." He whispered. I gave him a puzzled look and he just smiled at the rest of the table. I raised an eyebrow, kind of afraid of what they talked about. I almost didn't wanna know.
  • ()()()()()()()()()()()
  • The night went okay, Josh and I did fake couple things like hold hands at the table and and hug a little longer then most would. Everyone got along. It wasn't that bad. And the night was almost over.
  • "How about me make toasts?" My dad suggested.
  • "With Pepsi?" I quirked, tilting my head. My mom shrugged.
  • "Why not?" My mom smiled. She stood.
  • "I'll go first... A toast to my lovely family! I wouldn't change a thing." She said before sitting down. I smiled. Evan stood.
  • "A toast to myself. Because I am a bad-ass motherfucker." He said. My mother gasped and I slapped my hand over my mouth. Josh, however, proceeded to laugh his ass off.
  • "Evan! Language!" My father hissed. Evan just smirked. I slapped Josh's arm as he laughed hysterically.
  • "Josh!" I growled, trying myself not to laugh. He tapped my arm.
  • "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm calm." He chuckled, clearing his throat. Emma stood.
  • "A toast to Sam! I'm glad you finally decided to come over." She grinned and sat back down.
  • "Thank you." I mouthed to her before standing up for my turn. I thought before I spoke.
  • "Ahh, a toast to all of you! Mom, dad, Emma, Evan, Josh. You're all so important to me, and I don't know what I'd to without you." I finished before sitting down. Josh didn't even look at me before he stood up. He took a deep breath before starting.
  • "Okay, um, a toast to... My girlfriend. My beautiful, amazing, best friend. Sam.. I don't know where I'd be if I'd never met you. And I can never, ever, repay you for what you've done for me. Thank you." Josh finished before finally sitting back down. My jaw dropped open. I couldn't believe what he said. I looked at him for a long time. He didn't look back at me. A smile slowly stretched across my face and I leaned over and pecked Josh on the cheek. He smiled and blushed.
  • "That was nice..." my mother said quietly. My dad stood up.
  • "Well, my toast is also to my wonderful family. And Josh, who I hope will stay around a long while. Tonight was perfect in the most imperfect way. And that's just the way I want it." My father finished to close the night. We all smiled. My mother wiped the forming tears out of her eyes. Josh wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. I leaned into his chest and smiled. Tonight was amazing.
  • "Um, I really think we should get going.." I announced, intertwining my fingers with Josh's
  • "Are you sure?" My mom asked. I nodded.
  • "Yeah, it's getting late I'm tired." I said. My brother snorted.
  • "Use condoms." He said. My face flushed and Josh laughed.
  • "Evan, stop!" I hissed. Josh squeezed my shoulder and I relaxed. I don't know why that of all things calmed me down. My head was all confused, I needed sleep.
  • "Oh yeah, I almost forgot." Josh mumbled. I was about to ask what he was talking about until he pulled me into him and brushed his lips against mine. I didn't respond out of surprise. And then he stepped back. I couldn't speak, just babbled incoherent things. Did... he just... do that? Maybe it was just for my parents to see it now something, I don't know. Now we really needed to go.
  • "Bye everyone, I love you!" I said loudly before dragging Josh out the door. We got in the car and drove away.
  • "Well that was ah... Interesting." Josh quirked. I nodded slowly. And it was. It went a lot better then expected to
  • "Yeah...." I mumbled, still kind of shocked by the random kiss. I didn't know if he was planning it or what but I was still kind of surprised. I mean, I was still have a hard time processing Josh as my "boyfriend."
  • "Maybe we should go out as a couple again sometime. Pretend to be a couple around town." Josh shrugged. I snorted.
  • "Or we could not pretend.." he said quietly. What was he implying? I mean, I knew he was joking but still. I laughed.
  • "Good one." I replied. He stayed silent for a second.
  • "Yeah, I was uh... just.... just joking." He said quietly. The rest of the care ride was silent until he pulled up to my apartment building.
  • "Thank you so, so, so much for this Josh! I have no idea how to repay you!" I thanked as I exited the car. He put a hand up.
  • "Don't. Tonight was nice." He said. I nodded and turned to walk inside. Then I remembered something I wanted to ask him and turned back around.
  • "Josh?" I asked. He looked at me.
  • "Yeah?"
  • "When you said you told my dad the truth... What did you mean?" I asked curiously. Josh bit his lip and raised his eyebrows.
  • "Well.. He asked me how I really felt about you. So I told him the truth." Josh said simply. I thought for a minute. But when my dad came out of the kitchen, he was still obviously under the impression that Josh and I were dating. Wait a minute... I finally put two and two together. He literally asked me out in the car and I thought he was kidding! He was not kidding!
  • "Oh, wait, Josh..." I said, feeling like an asshole. He shook his head.
  • "Don't worry about it, Sam. I'll see you later." He said, driving off without another word.  I called for him but he kept driving, driving, driving and then he was gone. My head was running wild. I'm so dumb. I didn't realize Josh liked me.. I'm not even sure how I feel about him. I mean... I don't know if I like him... Of course not, its Josh. Obviously I do, he's the only one that can do what he does to me. Ugh, this was so confusing. Suddenly, my phone started to buzz and I pulled it out of my pocket and it was a text. From Josh.
  • "I had to do it just once." It said. I ran my fingers over my lips and felt my cheeks get red.
  • Ugh... Josh... What did I do?
  • nintendo: hey, sony
  • nintendo: just wanted to say, really nice job on the super nintendo's sound chip, turned out great
  • sony: aw shucks, nbd right
  • nintendo: no really! listen, you guys know what you're doing-- d'you think you could build us some kinda CD-ROM drive for the snes?
  • sony: oh shit, CDs, yeah we do that! awesome.
  • nintendo: sweet, this is gonna be great.
  • ~:
  • ~: ( ONE CD-ROM DRIVE LATER )
  • ~:
  • sony: yo check it, we've got your drive nearly finished
  • nintendo: hahah awesome!
  • sony: calling it "the nintendo play station", plays all yer cartridge games, plus full support for ~the CD-ROM multimedia future~, oooh
  • nintendo: this is gonna rule you guys
  • sony: and listen, we just wanna say, it's real cool of you to let us keep all of the money from the CD-ROM games like this.
  • nintendo: . . .
  • nintendo: . . . ??!!?
  • nintendo: ( shit did we tell them they get all the money when we sell games??? )
  • sony: anyway bye
  • sony: can't wait to tell everybody we're going steady next week at prom
  • sony: i mean CES
  • nintendo: ( no no no what the hell did they just do, we aren't letting them keep ALL THE MONEY )
  • nintendo: ( omg they think they can walk all over us )
  • nintendo: ( fuck it we'll show them )
  • nintendo: philips
  • philips: wha
  • nintendo: PHILIPS
  • nintendo: PHILIPS YOU MAKE CD-ROM DRIVES RIGHT
  • philips: huh
  • nintendo: PHILIPS I NEED YOU TO PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND
  • ~:
  • ~: ( at prom, i mean, the 1991 consumer electronics show )
  • ~:
  • sony: ... and we're so happy to be working with nintendo. multimedia future, you guys. beautiful stuff. oh hey look here they come now! say hi nintendo, i was just telling these guys about our new drive
  • nintendo: hey everybody, this is my new boyfriend philips
  • philips: hahah
  • sony: what
  • nintendo: so, yeah, it's pretty serious, we're working on a drive together actually
  • sony: WHAT
  • philips: hahahahah
  • sony: nintendo what is philips doing here, i LITERALLY just announced your drive, EVERYONE'S REAL EXCITED ABOUT YOUR DRIVE NINTENDO
  • philips: hahahahahahahah
  • nintendo: no, it's cool, we're just-- philips really understands us, you know?
  • philips: hey sony
  • nintendo: we're gonna make a drive together, they're just-- they're so understanding about our needs
  • nintendo: and about not thinking they deserve ALL OF OUR ROYALTIES
  • nintendo: just for making a fucking CD-ROM DRIVE, SONY
  • sony: . . .
  • nintendo: i dunno, like
  • nintendo: if this is making you jealous, maybe we could--
  • sony: nonono
  • sony: this is fine
  • nintendo: . . .
  • sony: y'know what
  • sony: we've still got all of this tech
  • nintendo: . . .
  • sony: we've still got that crazy genius guy who made your sound chip
  • nintendo: . . .
  • sony: we've got all these people excited for sony's new CD-ROM gizmo
  • sony: i mean we just announced we're making a play station, so
  • nintendo: no no no
  • sony: no, it's cool. hey everybody
  • sony: come see the new sony playstation
  • nintendo: no nO NO
  • nintendo: SONY
  • nintendo: SONY I'M SORRY I TRIED TO MAKE YOU MAD
  • sony: it's gonna be great, it'll have polygons and shit, everybody come look
  • nintendo: SONY
  • philips: . . .
  • nintendo: sonnnnnnyyyyyyy, uuuuuugh
  • nintendo: shit
  • nintendo: we'd already printed all those technical manuals together
  • ~: http://www.retrocollect.com/News/unreleased-super-nintendo-cd-rom-drive-technical-documents-leaked-online.html
  • nintendo: oh my god squaresoft is already half done making Secret Of Mana for that thing, that game is gonna be buggy as shit if they have to try and cram it onto a cartridge now
  • philips: *cough*
  • nintendo: what the fuck do you want philips
  • nintendo: uuuuuugh what am I gonna do, the whole industry is looking at me
  • philips: so um
  • philips: about that... "boyfriend" thing~
  • nintendo: ...
  • nintendo: oh my god you're shitting me right
  • nintendo: are you actually doing this
  • philips: <3<3
  • nintendo: i don't actually have to do this, right
  • nintendo's laywers: *awkwardly sucking air through teeth*
  • nintendo: because there is no fucking way we're actually going to
  • philips: SQUADELA!! WE ARE OFF!!!
  • nintendo: ohhhhhh my god.
  • nintendo: this just
  • nintendo: this never happened.
  • ~:
  • ~: .T.H.E. .E.N.D.
  • ~:
a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 11)
  • "We were close, never close enough."
  • "I'll come around if you ever want to be in love."
  • "You always had something effortless."
  • "At school you were the biggest deal."
  • "We were young, we were side by side, don't know when we started losing touch."
  • "I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s."
  • "There are roads left in both of our shoes."
  • "If the silence takes you then I hope it takes me, too."
  • "Brown eyes I hold you near."
  • "You’re the only song I want to hear."
  • "I've tried before to tell her of the feelings I have for her in my heart."
  • "Every little thing she does is magic."
  • "Must I always be alone?"
  • "I’m drunk off your kiss."
  • "This is becoming too routine for me."
  • "I did not mean to lead you on."
  • "It's all right to pretend that we still talk."
  • "It’s just for show, isn’t it?""It’s my fault that it fell apart."
  • "You were everything I wanted but I just can't finish what I've started."
  • "I still pick my friends over you."
  • "We're making our own history."
  • "This is the moment where it all began."
  • "Every single hero has to start out looking like me and you."
  • "We can do this if we really want to."
  • "Why mess up a good thing, baby?"
  • "It’s a risk to even fall in love."
  • "This is trouble."
  • "I don’t go out much like I used to."
  • "Why leave when I got you, baby?"
  • "It’s a risk but babe, I need the thrill."
  • "I never said you'd be easy."
  • "It could be lethal, sleeping with a friend."
  • "No heroes, villains, one to blame."
  • "The thrill is gone."
  • "We used to have it all."
  • "It's our time to go, but at least we stole the show."
  • "I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me."
  • "I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me."
  • "I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me."
  • "When you kiss me, I am happy enough to die."
  • "Classy girls don't kiss in bars, you fool."
  • "You and that girl, she your girlfriend?"
  • "Pretty girls don't know the things that I know."
  • "I love this secret language that we're speaking."
  • "Never really thought we would make it."
  • "I don't wanna see the end begin."
  • "I never felt nothing in the world like this before."
  • "You could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance."
  • "Why does your pride make you run and hide?"
  • "Are you that afraid of me?"
  • "I will wait for you."
  • "You're still in love with me."
  • "You don't love me at all."
  • "You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll."
  • "You're so damn hot."
  • "So who's this other guy you've got?"
  • "Once upon a time, we burned bright, now all we ever seem to do is fight."
  • "I could've been a princess, you'd be a king, but no, you let me go."
  • "You really hurt me."
  • "I'm going straight to hell."
  • "You're going down."
  • "God, it hurts so much to be the bearer of bad news."
  • "Don't just dream in your sleep, it's just lazy."
  • "I am going sleepless and you're out of lullabies."
  • "You've got a dark heart, you've got a cold kiss."
  • "You always let me down."
  • "I'm a junky for the way that you please."
  • "I almost told you that I loved you, thank God I didn't because it would've been a lie."
  • "I say the damnedest things when your on top of me."
  • "I'm not the one that you want, I'm not the one that you need."
  • "My love is like a fucking disease."
  • "I'm the hardest mother fucker to please."
  • "They say you never miss it 'til it's gone; well you're gone and I wish I'd done it better."
  • "I miss having you close to me."
  • "I'm sorry, I promise I'll do better."
  • "Can we start again?"
  • "You needed something better."
  • "I want more."
  • "I try my best, but I don't ever change."
  • "Who wouldn't want it when he looks like that?"
  • "If I try my hardest, would you look my way?"
  • "Do you want to show me something new?"
  • "I know I want it far too much."
  • "Are you coming over soon?"
  • "Can I be what you like?"
  • "Don't try to fuck with me."
  • "This is the last time I am gonna put you back together."
  • "I'm sending pic after picture, I'mma get you fired."
  • "I can't stand these nights alone."
  • "You light up my cold heart."
  • "A love like this won't last forever."
  • "I'm not the one that you want me to be."
  • "Are we just gonna stay like this forever, floating?"
  • "I know I'm gonna let you down."
  • "I wish I could say what I'm feeling; I'm scared to let these words out."
  • "I can't trust you."
  • "This isn't fun anymore."
  • "Damn, I thought we'd make it."
  • "You never got to heaven but you got real close."
  • "I beg for attention in small doses."
  • "You play those hearts like toys."
  • "I'm the option you shouldn't have chosen."
  • "This is the night you'll regret in the morning."
  • "I always wonder how far we could go."
  • "We could be free."
  • "This is my life and they'll call it a song."
  • "Make myself a king."
  • "There's no one to blame but you."
  • "You need me there, ain't no leaving me behind."
  • "There ain't nothing here for me anymore, but I don't wanna be alone."
  • "I can be a lone wolf with ya."
  • "All the world is gray as though you took the colors with you."
  • "We don't talk anymore like we used to do."
  • "What was all of it for?"
  • "I just heard you found the one you been looking for."
  • "Shoulda known your love was a game."
  • "I just hope you're lying next to somebody who knows how to love you like me."
  • "Call your girlfriend, it's time you had the talk."
  • "Say it's not her fault, but you just met somebody new."
  • "Let her down easy."
  • "You never meant to hurt no one."
  • "I give you something that you never even knew you missed."
  • "Don't you even try and explain how it's so different when we kiss."
  • "Now it's gonna be me and you."
  • "You're not sure that you love me."
  • "Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine."
  • "You're gonna break my heart anyway."
  • "Get it over with and just let me move on."
  • "Don't concern yourself with this mess you've left for me."
  • "You not making up your mind is killing me and wasting time."
  • "I'm sorry, I'm really a mess right now."
  • "I'm trying my best to get it together somehow."
  • "Tell me where love goes when it's gone."
  • "Suddenly someone is no one."
  • "I'm sorry, I let me fall for you."
  • "You're the hand I can't hold."
  • "I don't want you back, I just want to have what you took from me."
  • "I'll come around again, I know it's not the end."
  • "Love leaves a black hole where it dies."
  • "How can I ever love again?"
  • "I see you with her and it crushes me inside."
  • "Guess I should stop thinking about you all the time."
  • "Maybe this is a sign."
  • "Maybe I've been blind to reality."
  • "You seemed so interested."
  • "Was it real or was it all in my head?"
  • "She's so pretty, you two look so great."
  • "It was probably just a silly crush anyway."
  • "I just can't help but think that we could've had something."
  • "Did you ever feel the same?"
  • "I promised I wouldn't do it again."
  • "Taught him a lesson he wouldn't forget."
  • "I hope you find a way to be yourself someday."
  • "Change can be amazing."
  • "I pray for the best for you."
  • "I wish you could be honest with me."
  • "Why’d you fake it?"
  • "Hesitation is killing me, too."
  • "I couldn’t save it."
  • "Friend, why don’t you love me?"
  • "Tell me you want me in your life."
  • "It helps that you feel the same."
  • "We started from a spark."
  • "We got dreams and they start right here."
  • "I cry like a baby when I don't get my way."
  • "I won't apologize when I make a mistake."
  • "Do you want me?"
  • "I got scars on my heart and they won't go away."
  • "Everybody knows I'm a little insane."
  • "I feel you don't even know I'm alive."
  • "I feel you think that I'm out of my mind."
  • "I just want someone to hold."
  • "You're looking at me strange like you want me to change."
  • "I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel."
  • "You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head."
  • "You're a miracle."
  • "I gotta stay with you."
  • "You're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven."
  • "I know you're gone now, but I still wait for you."

holdingon7127  asked:

Hey! I made a topic on the Reddit sub about getting change from TinyCo. I'd link it, but I don't wanna spam you. I think that we should take it the App Store, and change our 5 stars to 1 star reviews until TinyCo gives us back the game we all fell in love with. They've been pulling too much crap lately. If you wanna read up, I'm sure you know where the subreddit is. I figured I'd bring this to your attention so you can choose to bring it to your following if you'd like! Thanks for reading!

and I’ll respond to that with this Reddit post, which is a response from the devs themselves who are on Reddit and are very much aware of what people are saying and are working on it. And you know why that post wasn’t seen earlier? Because it got downvoted so much that it was lost among other posts, mostly related to episode 2 complaints.

My dear friend, I know you and a lot of other people (especially on Reddit, where the internet is generally Not Very Nice) are a bit skeptical about this, but the devs are not robots. They do not function on a neural network that automatically increases output quality upon being given super negative feedback. A neural network can learn, sure, but it cannot feel. Consider this scenario: you’ve working on a project and putting your heart and soul into it so that the supervisor likes it and hopefully understands that yes! you are a legit worker! but stuff like deadlines and demands and competition from other projects means you have to keep pushing yourself every day, and come up with new ideas to make it look fresh. Then suddenly your supervisor, who all this time was nice and supportive, comes up to you and goes “yeah mate your work was fine but right now it’s absolute shit sorry” and tells all his coworkers to tell you the same thing. How would you feel? Would that motivate you to keep working? If anything, you’ll feel ganged up on, and your thoughts would be more on the line of “man if they don’t even care anymore, why the hell should I care?” And that one supervisor who actually liked your work and wanted to see more of it now misses out because their coworkers were dicks.

Decrease your rating to 3.5 if you really want to continue with that concept. The feedback system is pretty flawed already so the value of a five star rating doesn’t mean much in the long run. But it’s still a visible motivation factor. And the devs are looking at it with their very human eyes connected to their very human brains. So no, I’m not going to look for that subreddit, because I’m sure I’ll only walk into a pit of vipers and end up wanting to murder half the internet because my god, can we all be nice to each other for once? When we have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes at TinyCo, it’s hardly our place to shit on the devs for trying to do the best they can. And this is still a very new game. 

And yes, I am forever gonna defend the devs for doing their job because goddamn we didn’t go through the hell that is engineering school to endure a hate mob trying to cost us our jobs because mind you, TinyCo, and more importantly Apple and Google, are looking at those ratings too. Do you want to contribute to improving the game, or taking it down altogether? Do you want a few people’s extreme pettiness spoil the experience for a whole lot of other users who still love the game for all its faults? Your choice, I can’t control what you do. But if we’ve learnt anything from Brexit, it’s that every extreme action comes with negative consequences, and if you don’t keep those in mind, you’re stuck with nothing but your conscience.

Sorry this got long, but… this has just been going off the rails lately. Use the delay for Episode 2 to finish other stuff, guys, and be nice to the devs. It’s as simple as that.