but i don't care i'd still do him

  • Me: *sigh*
  • Cashier: What's wrong?
  • Me: It's the scent of this place. It's nostalgic. Reminds me of lavender scent of my grandmother's house. Even color of the walls remind me of the bygone era of my childhood; the dim sunsets of a fuzzy summer evenings, and faint memory of fading dreams.
  • Cashier: Ah, you want to start all over do you? I know the feeling. It's enough to drive me to the brink.
  • Me: Verily. At some point, I began to live my life in retrospect. The now doesn't matter anymore because everything has become so bland. What am I to do in this monotonous life when my happy times passed so long ago. It's as if-
  • Cashier: *turns into a 9 foot tall vibrating metal cube that deconstructs me at a molecular level and turns me into pure radium powder*
  • Guy, with that as fetish who actually wrote this post: *doesn't even jack it just looks at the screen all sweaty and breathing heavily*
  • Girlfriend: *walks into the room unannounced* Everything okay? You've been acting kind of strange recently.
  • Guy: *quickly closes all tabs* Oh, nothing. I'm just like. I'm... you know. I've been tired.
  • Girlfriend: *suspiciously* ...sure. Pizza's here by the way.
  • Guy: Okay, cool. I'll be right out. *wipes sweat from head*
  • Girlfriend: *texts best friend* He's definitely cheating. He just closed like twenty tabs on his computer!!!!!!!
  • Best Friend: Did you look through his browsing history?
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, it's all wikipedia pages about radioactive stuff. It's so fucking weird. He's either cheating or a terrorist.
  • Best Friend: That's creepy. I'd break up with him.
  • Girlfriend: I've been considering it, but it's complicated. I still feel so strongly about him. I don't want to ruin our relationship.
  • Best Friend: Sometimes you have to break things off with the people you care about the most. For a little bit anyway.
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, I get that. It's so hard though. I can't imagine life without him.
  • Best Friend: You have to do what you have to do. It's the only way to move forward. Getting stuck in a stagnant relationship can ruin you.
  • Girlfriend: I guess you're right...
  • Best Friend: *is wearing a full hazmat suit.*
  • Doctor: *walks up behind her* Jennifer, stop texting. We need you in the bottom.
  • Best Friend: Sorry, got it.
  • Best Friend: *descends in elevator, sees 9 foot tall humanoid ant corpse on the ground* Fucking gross! Do you know where it came from.
  • Doctor: No clue. It's why we called you here.
  • Best Friend: This isn't like any cryptid I've ever seen. It must be extraterrestrial in origin. Wait... is its body full of gummy worms? *hears the sound of the elevator going up behind her*
  • Best Friend: Doctor! Where are you going!? What the fuck!?
  • Doctor: Waves to her from the elevator.
  • Ant Humanoids: *appear from the shadows in the hundreds*
  • Best Friend: No, no, no, no! This can't be happening.
  • Ant Humanoids: *surround her*
  • Best Friend: Don't fucking come near me! I'm highly radioactive! You'll all die if you eat me.
  • Ant Humanoid in the back: *listening to comic book podcast*
  • Podcast Guy 1: So when it comes to Superman, I feel like there are actually two characters. Clark Kent, the man. Then there's Superman, the ideal. They're the same person but represent very different aspects of him.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Comic books are fucking stupid, my dude. *cellphone buzzes* Hold up, I gotta take this.
  • Podcast Guy 2: *gets an alert that his favorite fetish forum has updated, licks lips fuckingly*
  • Podcast Guy 2: *under breath* Oh yeah. A new radium dust sexual fanfic. Can't wait to tweak my noodle to this! Zoo wee mama!
  • Podcast Guy 1: What did you just say.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Nothing, man. We were talking about Superman. Let's continue with that.
  • Podcast Guy 1: Yeah, as I was saying. Superman would definitely be a power bottom and
Who You Should Fight: Kingdom Hearts Edition
  • Sora: You could fight Sora, but why would you want to? He only wants to be your friend. Why are you trying to hurt him? Why are you so mean?
  • Riku: This child has seen enough shit. He doesn't need you to make his life worse. Besides he'll probably just kick your ass. He is a Keyblade Master after all.
  • Kairi: DO NOT FIGHT KAIRI. She will kill you. I know she has a pure heart but that will not stop her from jamming that flowery Keyblade down your throat. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU TRIED TO FIGHT HER TWO BEST FRIENDS. AVOID KAIRI AT ALL COSTS.
  • Naminé: Why do you want to fight this precious cinnamon roll? I mean you'll probably win, but why do you want to hurt her? Why?
  • Donald: Fucking fight this asshole duck he'll probably forget to heal you anyways.
  • Goofy: I don't care. Fight Goofy. Just understand what you got in to.
  • Roxas: I wouldn't fight this kid. He's got an army of powerful beings behind him that can kick your ass for him. Besides he doesn't need your shit, he's got enough problems as it is.
  • Xion: DO NOT APPROACH XION. DO NOT EVEN LOOK XION IN THE EYE. THIS KID ORCHESTRATED THE ENTIRE DOWNFALL OF ORGANIZATION XIII. SHE WILL NOT HESITATE TO KICK YOUR ASS. Besides you probably won't even remember the fight even if you win.
  • Ansem/Xemnas/Xehanort/Master Xehanort: They're basically all the same person. Fight them. They are fucking assholes that ruin children's lives and need to be taken down a peg. Do it. It's not likely you'll win but just fucking do it.
  • Xigbar/Birag: This asshole needs a punch to the face. I mean you'll probably lose, but it'll be fucking great.
  • Xaldin/Dilan: This motherfucker uses FLOATING SPEARS OF DEATH. Avoid at ALL COSTS.
  • Vexen/Even: Do it. Fight this crusty nerd. I would. Just be careful of his ice attacks, and his giant fucking shield.
  • Lexaeus/Aeleus: No you'll die.
  • Zexion/Ienzo: This child lost his parents and now you want to fight him. Alright. You monster.
  • Saïx/Isa: I mean you won't win but I'd still try. He's kind of as ass to his friends and he needs to know you don't do that. Fight him.
  • Axel/Lea: Don't fight the trash can lid dad. He's just trying his best.
  • Demyx/???: FIGHT THIS PUNK WHIMP DO IT DONT LET YOUR DREAMS JUST BE DREAMS JUST D O I T
  • Luxord/???: Don't fight the Ticky Tock Card Shark. Play a game with him. It'll be much more fun, plus he'll critique your strategy when you lose and tell you how to get better. He's a p cool dude.
  • Marluxia: I don't man know he has a scythe I wouldn't go near him.
  • Larxene: Not if you don't want to get shanked by an electrified kunai.
  • Ansem the Wise/DiZ: He is a weak old man and not long for this earth. Punch him.
  • Terra: This sloppy child is stuck in an enteral purgatory because he was a such a sloppy child, and you want to fight him? K.
  • Ventus: Don't. He is too pure for this world. Don't. Besides he's sleeping. Don't wake him. Shhhhhhhh.
  • Vanitas: Fight the jealous evil Sora. He's a child but he could still use an ass kicking.
  • Aqua: Do not fight her what the hell are you doing she's a fucking Keyblade Master and the fucking Queen of your shit you shitwad she'll kick your fucking ass.
  • Eraqus: Why do you want to fight Luke Skywalker.
  • King Mickey: He's called King for a reason tbh.
Corpse Bride {Sentence Starters}
  • "The pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real."
  • "Answers. I need answers!"
  • "My dreams were taken from me. But now - now I've stolen them from someone else."
  • "He's not my boyfriend. He's my husband."
  • "I must say you don't look a day over twenty!"
  • "Upstairs? I didn't know we had an upstairs."
  • "With this ring, I ask you to be mine."
  • "Maybe, perhaps, he does belong with her."
  • "I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is."
  • "Pardon my enthusiasm."
  • "But we all end up the remains of the day!"
  • "Keep it down, we're in a church!"
  • "I thought this was all going so well."
  • "Do call for me if you need my assistance... in any way."
  • "It seems that I still have a tear to shed."
  • "I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with."
  • "Let me at him! Don't hold me back!"
  • "Isn't the view beautiful? It takes my breath away!"
  • "Would you care to repeat tonight's headline for us?"
  • "It's a rather nice day."
  • "Tell me, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?"
  • "You've got - you've got a wonderful personality!"
  • "It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in."
Confession Part One.
  • [KagaKuro version]
  • Kagami: *didn't do his homework* God damn it... Kuroko, I-
  • Kuroko: *sees Kagami thinking deeply then was surprise when Kagami talked to him* I love you too, Kagami-kun. I have always been so in love with you. It might be love at first sight but who cares... I still love you so much.
  • Kagami: Uh... Kuroko?
  • Kuroko: Yes, Kagami-kun? Are you going to ask me out? I'd say yes, though.
  • Kagami: I was just about to borrow your homework. I didn't do mine.
  • Kuroko: ....
  • Kagami: ...
  • Kuroko: Oh, I see. Don't worry, Kagami-kun. I didn't do mine too.
  • -------
  • [AoSaku/AoRyou version]
  • Sakurai: Uh... Aomine-san, c-can I talk to you?
  • Aomine: Sorry. Aomine-san is currently sleeping. Please come back when he decided to get up.
  • Sakurai: But Aomine-san! You never get up!
  • Aomine: Exactly. Leave a message after the first snore. *snore*
  • Sakurai: I-I love Aomine-san! In a romantic way!
  • Aomine: *open his eyes* What?
  • Sakurai: I-I-I'm sorry that I screamed! I-I-I'm sorry that I wake you up! I'm sorry that I confessed! I'm sorry that I disturbed you!
  • Aomine: C-calm down, Ryou.
  • Sakurai: I'm sorry I can't calm down!
  • -------
  • [KiseKasa version]
  • Kasamatsu: Kise, hey, Kise.
  • Kise: Yeah, senpai?
  • Kasamatsu: I like you.
  • Kise: Eh?
  • Kasamatsu: Not in a friendly nor kouhai-senpai relationship. In a romantic way.
  • Kise: O-oh...
  • Kasamatsu: ...
  • Kise: ...
  • Kasamatsu: Feel free to say anything.
  • Kise: Uh... Can I jump or-
  • Kasamatsu: First, stop biting your finger. Second, please don't drool. Lastly, do not scream.
  • Kise: *tries to hold it*

I don’t want a Philinda kiss. Not now.

But I do want intimate conversations. Cockpit scenes. Stupid compliments from Phil. Secret May smiles. Him calling her ‘Melinda’. A hug. Or a touch. 

AND BAHRAIN. I NEED THEM TALKING ABOUT BAHRAIN.

I’d love to see more Philinda scenes. That’s all.

TAYLOR SWIFT REALISTIC SENTENCE MEME [PART 2]
  • "You are the best thing that’s ever been mine."
  • "I see sparks fly whenever you smile."
  • "My mind forgets to remind me you're a bad idea."
  • "I'm sorry for that night."
  • "These days I haven't been sleeping."
  • "If we loved again, I swear I'd love you right."
  • "Don’t say yes."
  • "It seems that I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be."
  • "Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?"
  • "You are an expert at "sorry"."
  • "Why you gotta be so mean?"
  • "I just wanna feel okay again."
  • "I won't let nobody hurt you."
  • "She's not what you think."
  • "I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey."
  • "Who you are is not where you've been."
  • "Today is never too late to be brand new."
  • "Don't leave me like this."
  • "I still mean every word I said to you."
  • "You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?"
  • "I don't know how to be something you miss."
  • "I never planned on you changing your mind."
  • "You knew our lives would never be the same."
  • "One day, we will be remembered."
  • "Seems like there's always someone who disapproves."
  • "I don't care 'cause right now you're mine."
  • "I know that we could work it out somehow."
  • "Don't let go."
  • " Moving on from him is impossible."
  • "I'll do anything you say."
  • "I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen."
  • "I realize the blame is on me."
  • "A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be."
  • "You never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything."
  • "I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all."
  • "There was nothing else I could do."
  • "I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it."
  • "Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you."
  • "It takes everything in me not to call you."
  • "I can't say "hello" to you, and risk another goodbye."
  • "I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night."
  • "I've been lovin' you for quite some time."
  • "It's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you, for my whole life."
  • "This is the last time I'm asking you this."
  • "I was there to watch you leave."
  • "It's been you all along."
  • "Could you just try to listen?"
  • "I wonder how you think about it now."
  • "I don’t wanna dance if I’m not dancing with you."
  • "I just wanna know you better."
  • "He said he'd be here."
  • "I told myself don't get attached."
  • "I can't help but wish you took me with you."
Say something
  • Katniss: You're alive.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Katniss: [Thought] I whisper, pressing my palms against my cheeks, feeling the smile that's so wide it must look like a grimace.
  • [I'll be the one if you want me to]
  • Katniss: [Thought] Peeta's alive. And a traitor. But at the moment, I don't care.
  • [Anywhere I would've followed you]
  • Katniss: [Thought] Not what he says, or who he says it for, only that he is still capable of speech.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Peeta: She's a mutt!
  • [And I... I'm feeling so small]
  • Finnick: …I knew I'd misjudged you. That you do love him.
  • [It was over my head]
  • Finnick: I'm not saying in what way. Maybe you don't know yourself.
  • [I know nothing at all]
  • Finnick: But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him.
  • [And I... will stumble and fall]
  • Katniss: [Thought] Anyone?
  • [I'm still learning to love]
  • Katniss: [Thought] On Snow's visit before the Victory Tour, he challenged me to erase any doubts of my love for Peeta. "Convince me," Snow said. It seems, under that hot pink sky with Peeta's life in limbo, I finally did.
  • [Just starting to crawl]
  • Katniss: [Thought] And in doing so, I gave him the weapon he needed to break me.
  • Peeta: I must have loved you a lot.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Katniss: [My voice catches and I pretend to cough.] You did.
  • [I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you]
  • Peeta: And did you love me?
  • [Anywhere I would've followed you]
  • Katniss: [I keep my eyes on the tiled floor.] Everyone says I did. Everyone says that's why Snow had you tortured. To break me.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you.]
  • Katniss: [Thought] And here, finally here in this place, in these circumstances, I will really have to kill him. And Snow will win. Hot, bitter hatred courses through me. Snow has won too much already today. It's a long shot, it's suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of.
  • [And I... will swallow my pride]
  • Katniss: [Thought] I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his.
  • [You're the one that I love]
  • Katniss: Don't let him take you from me.
  • Katniss: [Thought] Peeta's panting hard as he fights the nightmares raging in his head.
  • Peeta: No. I don't want to...
  • Katniss: [Thought] I clench his hands to the point of pain.
  • [And I'm saying goodbye]
  • Katniss: Stay with me.
  • Katniss: [Thought] His pupils contract to pinpoints, dilate again rapidly, and then return to something resembling normalcy.
  • Peeta: Always.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Peeta: You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real?
  • [And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you]
  • Katniss: Real.
  • [And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-Ooh)]
  • Katniss: Because that's what you and I do. Protect each other.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Peeta: You love me.
  • [Say something, I'm giving up on you]
  • Peeta: Real, or not real?
  • [Say something...]
  • Katniss: Real.