but i cant why am i laughing so hard

If (Modern) Jamie and Claire could text: Target Tampon Run Edition (for @anoutlandishidea)
  • Jamie: have a question
  • Claire: have an answer
  • Claire: probably
  • Jamie: ye always do
  • Jamie: what are yr thoughts on menstrual cups?
  • Claire: P(T*&T(^R*&#TRP*&#TGPR:IWEHFVFOC*&I
  • Claire: PIWUEGWOEUBGWIUEBGPWEGB
  • Claire: _DYING_
  • Jamie: it's a simple question ssnch
  • Jamie: for or against?
  • Jamie: waiting...
  • Claire: sry
  • Claire: i'm laugh n so hard cant tpe
  • Jamie : i have full faith in ye
  • Claire: okay okay
  • Claire: um...well...
  • Claire: What is...'never used one but they seem practical enough?'
  • Claire: I guess?
  • Jamie: good, i agree, thanks MND,
  • Jamie: see ye in a bit
  • Claire: WAIT WAIT WAIT, I THINK THE FUCK *NOT*!
  • Jamie: huh? i AM going to be home shortly
  • Claire: oh, come ON
  • Claire: you can't just drop a menstrual bomb and then saunter off without another word!
  • Jamie: I'm in the Target, lots to buy
  • Claire: WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU URGENTLY NEED MY INPUT ON FEMININE PRODUCTS???
  • Jamie: well ye start your courses tomorrow, aye?
  • CLaire: (I shouldn't be surprised but damn me, it gets me every time)
  • Claire: IF YOU SAY IT, IT MUST BE TRUE
  • Jamie: aye
  • Jamie: 10:47 am. Be ready
  • Claire: JHRCCCCC, like a weatherman
  • Jamie: but anyhow, we'll be leaving for Auntie Jocasta's camper Gathering-stravanza in the morning
  • Jamie: and as it'll be Monday before we return
  • Jamie: it seemed wise to stock up
  • Claire: you are absurd
  • Claire: and a very useful man to have around
  • Claire: thank you, darling
  • Claire: ...but wait, what's the cup business?
  • Jamie: WELL, YE SEE
  • Claire: oh lord
  • Jamie: since Brianna AND Lizzie AND Marsali have all been in the house these last few days
  • Jamie: i'm expecting somewhat of a collective epidemic
  • Jamie: so, I thought it best to be prepared for an outbreak, since we'll be out in the mountains
  • Claire: supremely practical
  • Jamie: but tampons are j(*(&^(*^%(&^$(&(*_)*ing expensive
  • Jamie: and buying enough for four grown women was just more than i could bear
  • Jamie: and so the wee cup seemed an ingenious solution.
  • Jamie: so i've got four in the cart
  • Jamie: all set
  • Claire: CACCCCKKKKLLLLLLLLINNNNNGGGGGG
  • Jamie: ?
  • Jamie: Why?
  • Jamie: makes sense, aye?
  • Claire: wel
  • Claire: YES
  • Jamie: so....?
  • Claire: I will pay GOOD MONEY
  • Claire: for the pleasure of watching you explaining to YOUR DAUGHTERS why EXACTLY you were thinking about their menstrual health economies
  • Claire: I will pay DOUBLE to see you actually explain the FUNCTION
  • Claire: poor lizzie probably would FAINT from shock
  • Jamie: they're smart lasses, they dinna need an explanation. I"ll just leave them out for them
  • Claire: [o4htnpqeubrg[q9834htbpqieybgriaeurj
  • Jamie: SSNCH YE MUST STOP THAT
  • Claire: YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE THEM ABOUT
  • Claire: AS LITTLE UNEXPLAINED GIFTS??
  • Claire: LIKE FATHER CHRISTMAS???
  • Claire: FATHER...LADY BUSINESS??
  • Jamie: ye're laughing now
  • Claire: YOU BET YOUR SWEET GINGER ARSE I AMMMM
  • Jamie: but i'll be keeping a ledger of the savings over time
  • Claire: No no no non orijgnpqeirg
  • Claire: IT IS TOOOOO MUCHHHHHH
  • Jamie: and we'll just see, wont we?
  • Claire: JAMIE
  • Claire: JAMIE YOU'RE DESTROYING ME
  • Jamie: oh,wait...
  • Claire: I CANNNAAAAAAAA
  • Jamie: son of a BANNOCK
  • Claire: what?
  • Jamie: I canna get these
  • Claire: WHAT??
  • Claire: NO!! YOU CAn'T BACK OUT NOW!!!
  • Claire: THE COST SAVINGS, JAMIE!!!! THE SAVINGSS!!!!
  • Claire: (honestly dying over here)(screenshotting this to everyone i know)
  • Jamie: because I've just looked at the product name and it's called
  • Jamie: ughjjih it just makes me want to gag
  • Claire: what?
  • Claire: Pussy Pot?
  • Claire: Blood Bucket?
  • Jamie: dinna be crass
  • Claire: oh, so you're grossed out because it uses anatomical terms??
  • Claire: Jamie, 'VAGINA' is a perfectly natural
  • Jamie: HUSH
  • Jamie: I'm fashed because it's called a
  • Jamie: 'Diva Cup'
  • Claire: ....so?
  • Jamie: SO??
  • Jamie: that's the most patronizing garbage of a name i've ever heard!
  • Jamie: why does a practical contraption for managing a woman's courses need to be loaded wi' the implication of being SASSY and OVERBEARING and such?
  • Jamie: it's most often used in a sexist, disparaging context to criticize strong women
  • Jamie: and so to put it on a useful product such as this is just
  • Jamie: eirjngpqirbg
  • Jamie: it's revolting
  • Claire: I ....
  • Claire: have never loved you more than I do right now.
  • Claire: How about we order a generic brand on Amazon?
  • Jamie: they have other brands?
  • Claire: yep!
  • Claire: whole selection of NONPATRONIZING VAGINA VASES
  • Jamie: see, I kent you were a practical woman, too, ssnch
  • Jamie: I'll start the spreadsheet when i get home
  • Claire: i don't doubt you will

(tyler x reader)

word count: 1,128

You were recently on one of marks video for a skit! And you were so so proud of being apart of it. You and the squad helped design this skit. People on twitter were only spouting positivity about it!

Amy warned you about not looking at youtube comments. That even though theres positive comments on twitter there is so much shit on youtube. But you thought maybe you would see advice or more positivity. You just wanted to know you were doing something right..

Keep reading

Season 4 ending

I just watched the last 6 ep from TMNT season 4.
I didn’t have time til now and holyshit I totally forgot how great TMNT is?????
The animation became better, the action scenes are still rad and the charachters are grown up.

Highlights:
- Splinter really outdid these last episodes
- Bebop and Rocksteady holding hands
- April defeated a demon cuz her love for Donnie
- Raph and Chompy ohmygod
- Aprils hair down
- no love dramas
- Leos mouth-to-mouth with Karai
- Alopex. I love her. I don’t even care if her fur not white.
- Tiger Claws story and his paw got cuted in scene jesus
- Splinter telling the real reason why Leo is the leader
- Splinter and Leo in general
- Mikey changing back Stockman. I laughed so hard
- The fucking movie referenc. what they hate with passion thank god
- Mikey is still so cute i cant even. but not that clumsy. dunno
- Karai and her gf with the mutanimals. totally chilling
- Leatherhead and Slash when fighting together. blessed
- Shredder is finally fucking dead

100% sure I forgot something but it’s 3 am here.
I’m wondering if the next season is gonna be the last. I wouldn’t mind farm episodes again.~

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

4

yooooooooooo 😝

we just started talking a few weeks ago and you’re such a cool person that i kind of wonder where have you been all me life??? idk wild concept. 

cant believe our relationship started bc of kdramas and how i recommended weight lifting fairy kim bok joo and your ass really went and watched EVERYTHING like the very next day and you gave me a play-by-play of your emotions and god, i had never laughed so hard in my fucking life. idk i just love you, you’re always reblogging my stuff [dont know why, its like i post the dumbest shit sometimes lmao] but you still sponsor and support me so who am i to deny free love??? ahh you’re very cute as a whole and i just cherish you a lot and love seeing your stuff on my dash bc you reblog cool stuff lmaoo. you’re also a very noice friend *wink*

anonymous asked:

Can you write drunk Draeden? Like Derek is depressed about something and Braeden's like I know what can fix this - vodka! And Derek gets drunk for the first time in his life.

“ I shouldve been able to hear him coming, or smell him or-”

“Derek I am fine.”

 "You’re hurt.“

"A couple bandages and I am good Derek please dont blame yourself.”

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omg someone just asked me if i could edit the book post so there wasnt any shipping in it cause they had to show it to their dad to get the okay to buy it

and i thought they meant the shipping prices and was like ???? what okay??? why is your dad so weird about shipping prices???

they didnt mean the shipping prices

i cant stop laughing im aM LITERALLY SO DUMB OH MY GOd