but i am so glad im home now

okay so i was walking home & the sun was setting & the sky looked like it was on fire on one side & on the other it was just. the softest pink & orange it looked like someone had smudged peaches and it was so beautiful that i? started crying i literally started tearing up in the middle of the street

i am at home & sobbing right now i can’t stop crying!! the world is so beautiful!! i’m so glad i got to saw that nothing beats that i feel so serene 

got home from work at 1am

at 10pm found a guy face down on the grass, spent till nearly 12 talking to him and waiting for the ambulance to arrive, they have got him home safely 

talked about a lot of stuff going on in his life, how depression and bipolar has taken a hold of him as a person. Why he had no idea i was helping him, human decency seemed like a good enough answer for him.

 glad hes ok but im not the most open person and now that im home i realise how incredibly emotionally exhausted i am and feel like crying

life has so many perspectives 

ultralite-beam  asked:

hello! i followed you 2 years ago when i was heavily into witchery, and just now am getting back into the swing of things. you're getting married now! im so happy for you! oh, how much 2 years can bring :)

So very true! Two years ago on this very day, I was driving down to Virginia to start setting up my new home with Ragnar. My folks followed with the moving van the day after.

And now we’re settled in a comfy flat with two furbabies and we’re just over a month from The Big Day!

What a difference two years makes!

anonymous asked:

I'm feeling very lonely and stupid :( I'm taking a year off from university so I can deal with my mental health. But all of my friends are in my university city and I moved home and they don't seem to care. And they're all so successful, happy healthy smart, and I know I should be glad for them but I can't help be jealous, because here I am unhappy with my body and my future and I don't feel like I can do anything about it because every time I try I fail and get anxious:( I feel worthless

Oh babe, I am so sorry 😔 You’re absolutely not worthless, you’re strong and so brave. Honestly it’s still so rare for people to actually acknowledge that their mental health is struggling and it’s even rarer for people to put it first when they do acknowledge it. So I’m proud of you for making that decision, bc a year out of uni is a small sacrifice to make for a potentially much brighter future. I’m sorry that they don’t seem to be bothered by this, you deserve better, but you may meet some really great people in your year out and even better people when you go back next year. I’m a really big believer in “Everything happens for a reason”, and if now wasnt the time for you to be at university, then that’s okay, you’ll get there! You gotta take care of you, because whatever degree it is you’re studying for, it ain’t going to mean jack if you ruin your mental health and half kill yourself trying to get it. The degree will still be there when you’re ready to go back, stay strong sweetie, all the love 💜💜💜

Had a very indulgent day, im 70kilos still and im due on any day now (hopefully) so i am glad i am maintaining, ate potato skins, strawberry mouse, hazelnut coffee and ice cream so far today. I guess i am having a diet conscious free day! No worries. Plenty of fruit and water to balance it out then back on track tomorrow.

My libido is back and P cant keep his hands off me to the point where we have cut a day with friends very short so we can come home and have very loud and intense sex for the 3rd day in a row, now we are going to play xbox and let our bodies recover before round ¾/5 ;)

09-09-16

what a cute date it is today… which brings us to a month and a day more to my 22nd. i dread growing up and old. its nearing 19:00 now im alone in the office. the skies are extra dark and cold today. im glad i do not have plans tonight. i am surviving on my third cup of coffee. i love coffee so much. but it makes me jumpy and jittery sometimes. loooong looooong drive home later on. i hope i wont be feeling all pathetic when i am alone in my room late into the night. maybe playing werewolf on telegram might take my mind off matters of the heart. craving beer but not thrilled about the chemical reaction that is crazy rash that will overwhelm my skin. love-hate relationship with alcohol. remember that night-i was hugging the public toilet bowl,half-drunk, trying to throw up whatever’s left in my gut. i sat straight on the filthy filthy floor and gave up on life then. i was so close to bursting into tears- but no, my friend was waiting for me outside the cubicle i gotta go. remember the nights i go home at 5 A.M…. talked my heart out with the cabbie. reach home, throw up some more and lay in bed, wide awake and feeling so empty. i remember the feelings. so vivid. so raw.