but i am pretty

anonymous asked:

Hello! If you're still taking them, would you mind writing "stop putting yourself down, do you realize how perfect you are?" with Ignis, please? Thank you~

A/N: …I couldn’t stop the angst. I tried. This turned into hurt/comfort. Seems I can’t make everything super fluffy no matter how hard I try.  I hope you like it Anon-san.

Tagging: @blossattic @kayterschmater @ravenvelith 


You bolted upright in a panic, as you heard him shout, followed by a loud bang from the other room. You moved quickly to his study, realizing that the shout was not one of pain, but of anger. 

“Blasted… bloody… stupid…”

Something shattered against the wall right before you knocked at the door, hearing all movement within stop. 

“Ignis?”

You heard him take a deep breath before he spoke softly. 

“…it’s fine… I’m fine…”

You frowned and gently popped open the door only to notice that almost everything on his desk had spilled onto the floor, several items had shattered in their impromptu meeting with the wall, You slowly entered the room, stepping around the broken shards as you heard him breathe heavily. 

“Ignis…”

“What?”

You frowned as he snapped. 

“Darling, please. Talk to me…?”

You watched him press his lips into a firm line. That milky green eye staring at you intently before he huffed, and seemed to try to compose himself.

“I’m fine..”

“Ignis–”

“Do not attempt to coddle me!”

You snapped your mouth shut in surprise, but stood there quietly. You watched his brows raise a bit before he snarled softly again, his hand reaching out to find the desk behind him, feeling about till he found what he wanted, then turned from you and shattered the item against the wall behind him with a roar of rage. 

“I am worthless like this!”

You said not a word, and you kept your distance. His shoulders heaved with his labored breathing, as he started to talk again slowly, his voice breaking. 

“What good am I, to my King, if I cannot see my hand in front of my face? What good am I to anyone, if all I am going to be able to do is flounder around in the dark? What good am I, to anyone, other than to be someone that has to depend on others to have my basic needs taken care of? What good am I to you–”

You moved forward, wrapping your arms about him from behind as you pressed your cheek against his back. You felt him take a deep breath as if he was trying to recompose himself, but all he let out was a strangled sob. 

“You are good enough. Please, Ignis, stop putting yourself down. Do you not realize how perfect you are?”

You heard him give off a bit of a self depreciating laugh, before he took another breath. You released him, only to turn him about in your arms, and gently place your slightly trembling hands against his cheeks, tilting his head down, so that you could look into his blind eye.

“Ignis, please, listen to me, and let me prove to you that you are still, quite perfect, and not just to me.”

His brows furrowed, his milky eye filled with unshed tears as you gently pet your thumb against his unscarred cheek.

“Your knowledge did not vanish with your sight. You are still the smartest man I know. Right now, yes, you must lean on others, but I know you, I know how strong you are, and I know you will learn how to do things on your own. You are still Ignis Scientia, the man I love and adore above all else, and no matter what scars adorn your face, or if you will never be able to see again, I will still love you till the day I take my last breath…”

You gently moved your hands to the back of his head, feeling him tense up a bit, and you pulled gently, forcing him to bring his face down to your level, and you pressed a gentle kiss to the large scar on the left side of his face, right by his eye. 

“You are still perfect, darling. I swear.”

You felt him clench his jaw before a sob ripped from his throat. You moved to wrap your arms about his neck and shoulders as he in turn, wrapped his arms about you and buried his face against your neck. 

“I-I’m…sorry, my love, I’m so, so sorry…”

You smiled, and gently ran your fingers through his hair at the back of his head.

“Shh, It’s alright. Everything will be alright. I promise.”

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

Hi I want everyone to know that

I also want everyone to know that

Do you know who else I love?

but wait there is more!

And please don’t forget that

you guessed it

and most importantly of all

I love every single one of you! You don’t even have to know who I am but know that I love and support you and wish for your happiness. You are going to be amazing no matter what.

do my eyes deceive me or are those….

matching space-themed backpacks?

Black Butler Fandom
  • Other fandoms: What's going on over there?
  • Person: Don't worry, it's just the Black Butler fandom, they get like this every month.
  • Black Butler Fan #1: DOES ANYONE HAVE THE TRANSLATIONS??
  • Black Butler Fan #2: LOOK AT THESE PRECIOUS BEAN ANGELS! PROTECTPROTECTPROTECT
  • Black Butler Fan #3: yAnA wHaT tHe fUck
  • Black Butler Fan #4: HERE ARE FIVE THEORIES ON THIS ONE PANEL, FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS FORESHADOWING AND SYMBOLISM!! AHAHAHAHAHA
  • Black Butler Fan #5: Depressing headcanons! Get your headcanons here!
  • Black Butler Fan #6: *is already drawing fanart and writing fanfic based off the new chapter*
  • Black Butler Fan #7: Where is *insert character here*??!!
  • Other fandoms: I guess its best not to ask
9

9

I was lucky enough to attend the Pacific Rim: Uprising NYCC panel at Madison Square Garden (and sat in the first row ayyy~~) and took a bunch of notes lol. The panel included the director Steven S. DeKnight, and a few members of the main cast including John Boyega, Cailee Spaeny, Scott Eastwood, and Burn Gorman. Here’s my recap:

General Worldbuilding Tidbits

  • Pacific Rim: Uprising is set 10 years in the future after the last film. DeKnight said that they wanted to show a “new generation of Jaeger pilots who have known nothing but chaos.”
  • Previous characters slated to return, as seen by the trailer, include Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gorman), and Dr. Newt Geiszler (Charlie Day).
  • The new main “trio” seems to consists of the main lead, Jake Pentecost, and the late son of Stacker Pentecost (John Boyega), Jake’s best friend and Jaeger pilot Nate Lambert (Scott Eastwood), and tech-savvy Amara Namani (Cailee Spaeny). 
  • 10 years later, the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps (PPDC) has come together to work as an international fighting force, with all of humanity working together - i.e. Jaegers are no longer coded by specific country, like the Russian Jaegers, Australian Jaegers, etc. 
  • This also allowed the opportunity to build Jaegers from the ground up, since they were all previously destroyed in the first film. It was jokingly claimed, “we cancelled the apocalypse and then un-cancelled it to make this movie.”
  • DeKnight discussed how  Del Toro originally set the table with Pacific Rim as a “fantastic visual feast,” so the goal with the sequel was to honor the original, but also expand the universe at the same time. 
  • John Boyega claimed that they weren’t trying to “rewrite what Guillermo Del Toro did, but rather to build upon and expand this universe, and where the humans are at now.”
  • Boyega also talked about how he came onto work behind-the-scenes creatively on the film as a producer. He described Pacific Rim as one of the only franchises he’s come across where the fans are hopeful and “sacred science fiction ground." 
  • Going in, Boyega felt like he had the same creative passion as DeKnight. When they met in LA for the first time, they went over the specific Jaegers and basically what Boyega wanted to see after Pacific Rim. He claimed that "I believe this is everything you want Pacific Rim to be." 
  • One of the goals of Pacific Rim: Uprising is to explain exactly what happened 10 years after the first film, but not necessarily be a complete detachment to the origin story. It was highlighted that there are a lot of young teenage characters in the cast and hopefully that’ll be something that new viewers can relate to. 
  • According to DeKnight, one of the overarching themes of Pacific Rim is: "It doesn’t matter who your parents are, the color of your skin, your religion, or sexual orientation, you can make a difference and be a hero. It’s the human inside the Jaegers that makes you super." 
  • Pacific Rim: Uprising was filmed both in Australia and China. The cast pretty much agreed that as a director, DeKnight runs a "relaxed” and “creative” set - it was a tough schedule, but the actors all felt that they could still have creative input.

New Jaegers

  • DeKnight called them all “badass,” with Gipysy Avenger leading the charge.
  1. Gipsy Avenger: Has a lot of upgrades, including a Gravity Sling which allows the Jaeger to reach out and grab buildings, cars, etc. and hurl them directly at the Kaiju.
  2. Bracer Phoenix: This is the brute force Jaeger. One of its special abilities, above many, is the fact that it’s a three-pilot machine. Therefore, the third pilot can drop into the chamber and operate a pair of massive guns called the Vortex Cannon.
  3. Saber Athena: This is the most advanced Jaeger in the fleet that uses Plasma swords. Also described as a “little experimental,”  and “incredibly swift.”
  4. Titan Redeemer: Has a special weapon called the “ball of death,” which is attached to the end of his arm. According to DeKnight, this was “pretty damn cool." 
  5. Guardian Bravo: Is another brute force Jaeger that has a special weapon called the "graphine arc whip." 
  6. Scrapper: Described as a "little guy,” that’s been slapped together. Since in the future, there are a lot of people pilfering and stealing PPCD technology to make their own Jaegers. 
  • During the Q&A, an audience member asked if all the new Jeagers run on analog. DeKnight claimed one Jaeger is built on sticks (lmao), but the general idea is that no EM-powered Kaijus will be able to take down the Jaegers in this film.

Jake Pentecost (John Boyega)

  • Boyega stated that he “loved the first movie and one of the reasons was Idris Elba.” So, he understood the big shoes that he had to fill. Boyega claimed he understood this responsibility, but  "we [the cast] all worked as a unit, and Jake Pentecost doesn’t exist without the other characters. This is also a great ensemble piece.“
  • When the moderator asked if Jake is trying to live up to Sacker’s legacy, Boyega jokingly claimed: "Hell no!” He went to explain that “the greatest heroes don’t accept legendary status. It takes a tussle and a turn and for Jake’s position. Where we find Jake in the beginning of the film is in very different circumstances from his Dad.”
  • Boyega described Jake as a “stealer, a hustler, and lives in half a mansion. He’s really a guy that doesn’t want to live up to the Pentecost name.”
  • Jake is bought back into the PPCD in a very unique way through his connection to Cailee Spaeny’s character Amara. So, Jake is bought into this adventure and decides that he’s gotta “step up,” after realizing that the “Pentecost name still means something to people." 
  • During the Q&A, an audience member asked Boyega what’s the most rewarding part of being a sci-fi icon. He claimed that he doesn’t feel like one, but working on both Pacific: Rim Uprising has been exciting, since it’s allowed him to jump into various elements of sci-fi that he loved growing up.

Nate Lambert (Scott Eastwood)

  • Eastwood described him as a Jaeger pilot who’s one of the best out there. Yet, he’s still "the tip of the spear,” and really nothing without his best friend Jake.
  • Jake and Nate still have issues in this movie to work out from the past, so Eastwood felt that coming back around and dealing with a lost time with these characters was something cool to explore as an actor. 
  • Eastwood also emphasized that while yes, there is plenty of action in the film, it “has a great story first and foremost.”

Amara Namani (Cailee Spaeny)

  • This was Spaeny’s first film that she was ever cast for. So, she was definitely intimidated and a bit terrified, but knew that fans were so supportive of the first film. 
  • Spaeny didn’t actually watch Pacific Rim until she got the audition for the sequel, and really took it upon herself to dive into the universe in order to understand and respect the original film.  
  • In terms of Spaeny’s film experience, there was also diving into tons of stunts and action and lots of skills that she to catch onto , since she was participating in a whole world that’s already been created. 
  • But Spaeny felt that both DeKnight and the cast were very supportive and helpful, whenever she had questions, so it was really easy for her to dive into Cailee’s character. She also bonded with DeKnight since this was the first feature-length, theatrical film that he ever directed. 
  • Spaeny described Amara as very “independent,” and super “badass.” She’s also a tech-savvy person. 
  • For Amara’s backstory, her entire family was killed in the first wave of Kaiju attacks. So, Amara really “takes it upon herself to dive into Jaeger tech and make sure that when Kaiju do come back, she’ll be ready to fight and protect herself." 
  • While Amara’s past is very different from Jake’s, Spaeny claimed that both of them still see a lot of things in similar ways.  

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb (Burn Gorman)

  • Gorman said he was very excited to be back in the sequel, which felt like "being back in the playground.” He also joked, "I’ve been lucky enough with this face that God gave me to play a few jerks on screen,” when an audience member briefly highlighted his past roles on Torchwood, Revenge, Game of Thrones, and The Dark Knight Rises. 
  • Gottlieb still has problems with personal hygiene. Gorman claimed, “let’s just say that he hasn’t changed his socks since the last film." 
  • In comparison to Charlie Day’s character (Dr. Newt Geiszler) who has moved onto the private sector, Gottlieb chose to stay behind with the PPCD and arguably their most important scientist at the highest level at this point. So, Gorman joked that Gottlieb now, in effect, has a "really great budget,” to work with now. 
  • However, DeKnight makes it clear that where we find Gottlieb is: “as a man still very much affected in what happened in the previous film in terms of his drift and communication with the Kaiju.

There was a brief Q&A and the last question really stuck out to me, where an audience member asked each cast member to sum up their Pacific: Rim Uprising experience in one word:

  • John Boyega: Unity
  • Cailee Spaeny: Life-Changing
  • Scott Eastwood: International
  • Steve S. DeKnight: Mind-blowing