but i am just all emotions

can we just take a moment to appreciate that the boy who spent years trapped in the dark was given aN ACTUAL RAY OF SUNSHINE aka jeremy knox bless

does the fact that john and paul loved each other ever just.. hit you? like these were two lads from liverpool, they learned guitar together, they wrote together, they had all of these incredible experiences, they traveled, they had a totally unique and extraordinary life together, they shared that with each other. they grew as people, as friends, as lovers, competitors, muses. they turned each other on. and we know such a tiny fragment. we are privy to a tiny part. i am so happy they had each other. i am so happy they had one another.

anonymous asked:

I just recently lost a good friend of mine to chronic illness and the grieving process is too much to bear. I'm at the point where I'm conflicted, like I still take pride in my Judaism, but I'm severely angry at G-d for taking her away from me or having her be sick in the first place. What should I do? I really don't want to turn my back on my faith, but I'm just so angry. Please help.

Hi anon,

I am so sorry about your loss.

Sometimes tragedies occur that are not in our control and they have the power of making us feel vulnerable, angry and upset. I do not blame you for being angry with G-d, nor do I blame you for feeling any emotions surrounding all of the things you are dealing with right now.

Your story reminds me of some of the feelings that Elie Wiesel wrote about his experiences in the Holocaust in his book “Night,” such as his theology surrounding saying the Kiddush on Shabbat: “For the first time, I felt anger rising within me. Why should I sanctify His name? The Almighty, the eternal and terrible Master of the Universe, chose to be silent. What was there to thank Him for?” (pg. 33) You have every right to hold every emotion that you are feeling.

As to what you should do? Once the days and weeks and months become just a little easier with your friend, do something in honor of her. Eat her favorite food, donate to one of her favorite charities, go to her favorite amusement park, watch her favorite movie(s).

If you would like to speak specifically about your relationship with G-d, feel free to send me a direct message. I would love to help you to personally help you (and not in public as this is a personal issue).

May your friend’s memory live on as a beautiful blessing. May her entire family and all of her friends feel comfort in the gorgeous light that she brought to the world.

-PJ

Quark is affection-starved and in deep denial about that, but ALSO of course he doesn’t trust sincere displays of affection at all, surely the person wants something from him or is going to use it against him later.  That’s just how social interactions work.  (I mean, he’ll open himself up to people who show affection!! Constantly!!!!  But it never ends well for him!) (okay sometimes that’s explicitly his fault, but still.)

but Odo !!!!  is perfect for this.  He speaks fluent acerbic sarcasm, the language of love.  Odo wants nothing but justice, and to banter with Quark.  It’s perfect.  They’re in love.

me when i realize that nothing is permanent and i need to stop clinging onto the idea that if i achieve this or that i am going to unlock the secret to happiness as if happiness was a fixed point in one’s life and not a multifaceted and elusive state when life is just a series of challenges and ups and downs and i must learn to go with the flow and accept that things will always change whether it’s my emotions or my relationships or my Self™ and that everything tends towards entropy it’s a permanent cycle of death and rebirth throughout all aspects of my life

tarjei simply amazes me. we all know he’s a very talented actor. we’ve pretty much all said it. more than once. he’s not the only talented actor out there. but the fact that this is his first official acting role. the fact that he is only 17 years old. it just. it amazes me. the level of maturity in his acting blows me away. for him to be so young and to be able to understand his character’s emotion so well, for him to be able to express those emotions so well, for him to be able to make us, the viewers, feel all of these emotions…that’s just. it’s truly, truly amazing. and i am so thankful for him, and i feel truly lucky to be able to witness his great talent 

This is why I love Supergirl- there’s no “gritty” or “dark” or ‘realistic” reaction from Alex coming out to Eliza. This is fiction–we’re allowed to dream up how we would most like our parents to react to hearing we’re gay, and sometimes well meaning parents are also at a loss. Life imitates art more than the other way around, and by dreaming up better for some queer kids, watching Supergirl with their parents, their coming out may very well be better. It’s not saying that life is perfect, or without hardships or tragedies–this is a story about a girl who lost a planet, there’s plenty of painful moments–but not everything has to be a hardship. Not everything has to hurt. Sometimes your worries don’t come to pass, and the people who love you do. Sure Supergirl has it’s problems it needs to work out, but in the end Supergirl has a sense of hope and lightness to it so many shows today don’t, and i’m not just talking about scene lighting

When will I find shippers like me who only seek relationship development and also emotional development like I Don’t understand the discourse about who tops or bottom or shippers who are sex oriented… I just don’t find that satisfying. I am here for deep talks, little gestures of affection, acts of love, and most of all the evolution of the relationship based on trust and respect… idk I just don’t see the point of pure porn I don’t get that and I don’t ship for that. Like if there’s sex I want it to be meaningful idk… like maybe that’s just me but I want them to really “make love”

Episode 11 has given us...

15 yr old Yuri Plisetsky beating Viktor’s WORLD RECORD

JJ finally acting like a real human

Yuri cheering on and being proud of Otabek :)

THE RING KISSES DON’T EVEN LOOK AT ME

Viktor doing the quad flip along with Yuuri like he just CAN’T CONTAIN HIS NERVES

PICHIT BEING THE LIGHT OF MY WORLD!!!!!!

Viktor’s obvious conflicted emotions about Yuri setting the new record

Yuuri being so confused and unsure about Viktor’s behavior but still so confident in their relationship he finally instigates a very necessary talk

This episode may have been a little more angst-heavy than we’re used to but this show is so Good and Pure and I’m honestly not worried about the next episode at all.

And while all I want is a damn wedding I know that’s just a smidge unrealistic BUT I am holding on to the ridiculous hope that we might get a second, sober rendition of the banquet….

6

So I’ve been at work all day and the hoard of episode 10 meta is unstoppable, so I hope this hasn’t been mentioned before but I remembered something critical today.

It has been pointed out by several people that the Eros routine Viktor had been choreographing was inspired by Yuri’s drunken shenanigans, followed by his cold shoulder and was the Ultimate Pout ™ by Viktor.

But he wasn’t just working on Eros

The story of Eros is the story of the playboy who seduced the maiden even against her better judgement and then cast her away. It’s pretty clear (now at least) that Yuri is said playboy, and Viktor is said maiden.

And yet Viktor was also choreographing a piece on unconditional love

When Yuri humped his leg and begged him to come to Hasetsu and be his coach, Viktor fell hard. They danced the night away, and Viktor was looking forward to the next day when Yuri would remind him of his promise to come to Japan. And then……. He got shut down. To Viktor it probably seemed like an outright rejection.

So he choreographed Eros to symbolize how he felt. To symbolize Yuri putting him through a whirlwind of physical and emotional feelings and then leaving him hanging.

But hand in hand with that, he also choreographed a program about unconditional love. Because dammit, he’s still smitten with that boy after the time they had together. He may be a tad bitter, but he still wants Yuri in his life.

And this would explain why Viktor returned to Yuri after seeing him skate his routine. Why he would be choreograph a whole performance about Yuri casting him off as the playboy, and still nab his chance to give up his career and teach this guy how to win the Grand Prix. Because his love for Yuri

is unconditional

8

Yuuri’s Emotional “Breakdown”

Rather than showing how “weak“ he is he, once again, spells it out to Viktor that he’s actually much stronger than he looks. And that sometimes all he ever really needs from him is to just continue to stand by his side and simply believe that he can be the best without having to say anything.

Borderline and astrology

Borderline personality is a condition of pain. There is a clinical list of symptoms that validate diagnoses, but I am not a specialist on personality disorders. I am not going to go into these. I first learned about Borderline personality as a nursing student studying mental health. Their emotional reactivity is extreme. I like to think of it as, imagine 4 girl friends walking down the street. The weather is cold, it’s snowing and windy. Three of the girls are wearing warm jumpers, scarves, and weather resistant clothing. The fourth girl is wearing shorts and a t shirt. They are all experiencing the same degree of coldness and temperature. But the fourth girl is absolutely freezing, she not just cold, she is purely uncomfortable and shaking viciously, all her fingertips are burning. The fourth girl is expressing the Borderline’s severe experience of emotional storms. It’s like they truly lack the protective clothing. They are vulnerable, exposed, and feel deeply. One aspect of the Borderline personality quality I want to focus on, and relate to astrology is that of a distorted self image, identity diffusion, and a disturbed sense of identity. Intense projection seems to be a problematic attribute of Borderline. This lack of self seems to result in substance abusing behaviors to fill some of the emptiness, to try and hold onto something real, constant shifts in vocational aspirations and goals, this prevailing sense of worthlessness. They have trouble ascertaining who they are, what they want, what they like, and where they want to go. This is where astrology can become an effective tool. Can astrology cure Borderline personality? No way. It is typically a manifestation of PTSD, and best treated in the hands of professionals. I do believe though, that astrology is capable of relieving some of the suffering and giving a clear definition of inner potential. The astrological chart suggests our archetypal qualities and potential. It gives an untainted description of attributes that exist within us, inherited at birth. These have not been blemished by their self image, or maybe the abuses they have received from others. It can give people with Borderline personality a framework of characteristics they can found their identity on. They are no longer gliding in the ether, hollow, chameleon and reflecting the traits of others. And people leaving may not feel so deadly, because they have bloomed a portrait of the self, a definition, they can stand alone. Maybe they will learn that their natal Venus in Aquarius is a personality that feels quite distant from others to begin with, and they associate with this, they connect astrology with qualities within themselves. And that Venus in Aquarius, once grounded, revels in its independence. Or that sixth house stellium guides that person to a career in nursing, when he felt so conflicted and confused, astrology provided an outline of his talents and skills, his calling, and he was able to define a future. The emptiness a Borderline feels can be filled by that contemplating reverence they conceive as stars pour into them, they have been divinely crafted, there are constellations that entangle them, they are the descendent of Gods and Goddesses. They are souls expressing as Leos or Scorpios or whatever. I know that people with Borderline personality can feel so hollow and diffuse that they are relieved to hear a Borderline diagnosis because iit provides a stable outline of who they are. And the clinical picture of Borderline personality is not so wonderful. And I think, wouldn’t being able to find yourself through the positive qualities illuminated by astrology provide so much more comfort, guidance, and beneficial reference? Instead of being a pathology, you are a progeny. There is nothing profoundly evil or bad about them. Rather than feeling as though they lack an identity, they just float, they can look into the night sky and see themselves.  At it’s most sacred essence, astrology is compatibility with the self, the stories of the stars are stories of you, and you can fall in love with yourself. I am not an expert on Borderline personality. I do not know that much.Astrology is by no means a remedy nor a therapy. But it can provide a definition of the self in a way nothing else can, and for those who feel so vacant, for those who are searching for an identity, no anchor could be so pure as the cosmos.
-Cherry

A PSA for Spoonies with a mental ilness

If you are not only in physical pain, but emotional pain, and oh get out of bed most days and do what you need to, you should be so proud of yourself.

If anyone calls you lazy, a burden, stupid, just remember that they don’t and likely won’t ever understand what you’re going though at all. Just remember that you are loved regardless of what that individual thinks.

If you have anxiety or a panic disorder or social anxiety and you still make your own doctors appointments I am so proud of you, I know this is hard but you’re doing so well.

And in these trying and emotional times just remember that we stand together, United, and we will not back down. We will support one another and pull each other through. You are beautiful and you are valid and you are so very strong.

Keep going, you’ve got this.

newsies characters as john mulaney quotes
  • Jack: i guess someone said like something something police. and in a brilliant moment of word association i yelled “fuck da police!” and everyone else joined in. a hundred drunk white children yelling fuck da police
  • Crutchie: hey you could pour soup in my lap and i'll probably apologize to you
  • Davey: i put on a sweater and a pair of corduroy pants and i felt safe
  • Katherine: you know how you lie to your parents?
  • Pulitzer: he ordered one black coffee for himself and kept driving
  • Finch: everyone get out of my way! I just want to sit here and feed my birds
  • Albert: it is 100% easier not to do things than to do them
  • Buttons: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
  • Spot: i'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day i'll die
  • Elmer: i don't want to be doing what i'm doing either
  • Romeo: i am very small, and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress that i am under
  • Henry: 琦nd life is a fucking nightmare
  • Specs: woah, that tall child looks terrible!
  • Race: hi, i'm very gay and would like a few dollars
  • Hannah: hello? hush!
The Signs as Blurryface Lyrics

Aries - If I didn’t know better I’d guess you’re all already dead, mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch saying stuff like, “You only live once.” // heavydirtysoul

Taurus - Don’t you test me though, just because I play the piano doesn’t mean I am not willing to take you down; I’m sorry // Not Today

Gemini - The world around us is burning but we’re so cold. It’s the few, the proud, and the emotional // Fairly Local

Cancer - Though I’m weak and beaten down, I’ll slip away into this sound // Goner

Leo - Don’t wanna know who I would be when I wake up from a dreamer’s sleep // We Don’t Believe What’s On TV

Virgo - I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I’m insecure and I care what people think // Stressed Out

Libra - My shadow tilts its head at me, spirits in the dark are waiting // Hometown

Scorpio - "I’d live for you,“ and that’s hard to do, even harder to say when you know it’s not true // Ride

Sagittarius - Scared of my own image, scared of my own immaturity, scared of my own ceiling, scared I’ll die of uncertainty // Doubt

Capricorn - I have none to show to the one I love, but deny, deny, denial // Polarize

Aquarius - Don’t trust a perfect person and don’t trust a song that’s flawless // Lane Boy

Pisces - Sometimes you’ve got to bleed to know that you’re alive and have a soul // Tear in My Heart

Straight White Boy Problem #987

last time I smoked weed (two years ago lol) I got really existential while listening to Childish Gambino when i was at Ryan’s house and i took a couple hits and was like what the hell am I going to do with my life? Am I going to find my soulmate some day? Do my friends actually value my feelings and do they value me for who I am or are friends just using me for their own gain? Is it okay to root for the New England Patriots even though I’m not from New England? All these questions were going through my mind and I was breaking down. I didn’t know what was going on I didn’t know I had all of these pent up emotions that were being brought out. I was scared. I wanted to talk about my dilemnas with Ryan but the last time i tried that, he made fun of me I need to start letting myself feel emotions rather than smoke my troubles away. So I quit weed. Granted, I still hang out with Ryan but it’s just not the same bc I dont smoke anymore :/

“But I’ve waited for you all this time.”


“That does not mean you love me. We have very different definitions of what love is. You might think you want me but you truly you don’t. You’re craving something physical with emotions that come with time. You think we can just pick up where we left off and hop back into a relationship. You’re lonely and have no one to confide in and since I am the only person left, you have chosen our relationship to romanticize. But we were truly never good together; we have given each other third and forth chances and still we are speaking two different languages. I am tired of trying to fight for something that is destined to fail.

—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1198 // just another long drawn out hypothetical conversation with my ex // excerptsofstories